I'd like to talk with you about practice. Practice in the sense that I understand it as bodhisattva practice. Practice as I understand that the ancestor, Dogen, was committed to teach and practice. There are many kinds of practice which may sound different from this practice and I sincerely believe that all practices are included in the practice I'm concerned with. So I I think it makes sense that I would be respectful of all forms of practice.

[01:03]

And I have to be careful, though, that I express that. Sometimes when you speak of something that and it's different from something else or particularly if you speak of something that includes everything else you might indirectly disparage some of the things it includes which don't explicitly seem to include everything. But they actually do. In particular, this morning we recited a text which is called in Japanese, Fukan Zazengi. And the translation of that could be the universal encouragements for the ceremony of Zazen.

[02:11]

And in that text I believe it says in translation something like the zazen I teach or the zazen I speak of is not learning meditation. Another way to say this is the zazen I'm speaking of is not a step-by-step process of concentration practice. There are step-by-step processes of developing concentration. But this zazen, this meditation practice, is not that step-by-step type. However, it includes all step-by-step practices.

[03:16]

This type of Zazen is immediate, complete enlightenment. It's not a kind of sitting practice. It's not a practice which will become enlightenment or will become something else. It is immediate realization of the Buddha way. This is the Zazen which I'm interested in discussing with you. Azazen, which is enlightenment. That's immediate and complete. And it includes innumerable beings who might be practicing a process of concentration. It includes beings who are not practicing consciousness. It includes the Zaza I'm speaking of, which is enlightenment itself, complete perfect enlightenment itself.

[04:29]

It includes all beings, all religions, and all anything that's not religion, too. It includes beings. That's the Zazen that I'm intending to speak to you about. And it's a little confusing because when people come to Zen Center on Sunday morning, early morning in the city, we give Zazen instruction actually in a form that's a kind of ceremony for Zazen. And it involves assuming a physical form. And sometimes people suggest that they follow their breathing, but not necessarily. So the instruction that's given, introducing people into the practice, is actually a ceremony, a ritual.

[05:40]

performance which is taught and which the practitioner then can come and practice together with other people who are practicing that ceremony. So we are, during the zazen, all of us, pretty much, resisting it. We're still practicing a ceremony of zazen. but we're not doing a ceremony, I should say we're not, but I'm not teaching you a ceremony for zazen which is developing concentration. I'm teaching a ceremony for the zazen which is enlightenment. The ceremony of zazen and zazen itself are totally intimate and also different. Each of us performs the ceremony zazen differently.

[06:47]

Each of us crosses our legs somewhat differently. But this ceremony is a ceremony to perform a dramatic relationship with the actual Zazen of this world. The practice of Zazen, not the ceremony of Zazen, the practice of Zazen is a practice whereby the enlightenment of all things comes back to the practitioner.

[08:11]

or it's a practice in which the enlightenment of all things emanates from the practitioner to all things and then returns from all things to the practitioner and then the practitioner and all things together realize the Buddha way. So this practice is the same practice and the same enlightenment of all beings. As we'll say at noon service today, each moment of zazen is equally wholeness of practice, equally wholeness of enlightenment.

[09:24]

That's another way to translate it. Each moment of zazen is the same practice and the same enlightenment as the person sitting and all beings. which I'm encouraging is. And the ceremony that we do is a ceremony to celebrate Vazhazen. So one can sit here at our seat and then sitting with this human body is a celebration of the practice of Buddha, which is the practice of all beings, and the enlightenment of all Buddhas, which is the enlightenment of all beings.

[10:30]

One can celebrate that by sitting here and also by standing here and eating here and bowing here and chanting here. Every action we do can be a celebration of the practice, which is the same practice as all beings, is the practice of Buddhas. Buddha's practice is not the practice of one Buddha. It's the practice of all Buddhas, and the practice of all Buddhas is the practice of all beings. So, as I mentioned the other night, one of the practitioners here checked the etymology of the word ceremony, the English word ceremony, and he said it means religious worship or a religious observance.

[11:51]

The ceremony of Zazen, which we do here, follows. He taught the ceremony of Zazen and he also taught Zazen. The Zazen is the way the enlightenment of all things comes back to you and how you, together with the enlightenment of all things, realizes the Buddha way. That's the Zazen. And he also taught a form of worship of that zazen, in which he describes, you know, in physical detail. And he describes the room in which to do it. And the dietary encouragements are also there, and the clothing you wear. These are like ritual, ceremonial instructions for worshiping complete, perfect enlightenment. for making offerings. To make your sitting, to make your walking, every moment, an offering to the Buddhas, an offering to Zazen.

[13:03]

I sit here in this way, moment by moment, and each moment is an offering to the Zazen, which is the Zazen of all of us. It's not something I'm doing It's just that my body and mind are set up to celebrate and worship the practice which we are doing together with all beings. And this posture and this body and mind can each moment as an offering to the Buddhas, which is the same as to say an offering to Zazen. And this moment of sitting, this moment of walking, this moment of standing in this hall can be seen as an expression of alignment with this inconceivable

[14:15]

harmonious, mutual assistance. So that's the basic way that I offer you an understanding of the Zazen ancestors. And again, if anybody is practicing concentration any place in the universe, that person, the practice of that person, the way the practice of that person is the same practice as all beings. That's the practice of the Buddhas. No one is excluded, no matter how they're practicing, from this practice. And also we chanted at the beginning of this talk a vow, a verse for arousing the vow, written by, again, Ehe Dogen Dayosho.

[15:38]

And he wrote it, he wrote, I vow from this life on throughout countless lives to hear the true Dharma. And we changed it for chanting here to we vow, and I apologize to you for changing it that way and you to say we vow because maybe you don't vow. Dogen said, I vow to hear the true Dharma. I don't know if you want to join that. So please excuse us if we offer you a piece of paper that says we vow to hear the true Dharma from this life on throughout countless lives. And it says also that when we hear the true Dharma, we will renounce worldly affairs. And when people read that, they go, wait a minute, what does that mean?

[16:41]

So many people think, I do worldly affairs. And what they often think worldly affairs are, they think worldly affairs are like shopping. I guess now, shopping on the internet. eBay, that's like worldly affairs. Some people think. But one of the ways I would suggest to you what is meant by worldly affairs is that worldly affairs are in which we are half-hearted. or affairs in which we think we're not practicing together with everybody. So if you go shopping or if you go to the dentist or if you park your car whatever you do if you do it as an offering to practicing together with all beings it's not a worldly affair.

[17:54]

But if you do a Zen Sesshin and you think you're doing it by yourself and not together with all the other people in the Sesshin and all beings who are outside this room, if you think you're practicing by yourself and that your practice is not with all beings, then that would be a worldly affair. that would be an affair which creates a world. And the text goes on to say, after speaking of giving up worldly affairs, giving up half-heartedness, giving up thinking of practice in terms of what I'm doing separate from you, giving that up, then we can maintain the Buddha way, or then we together will we together with all beings will maintain the Buddha way, the Buddhadharma.

[19:00]

If we can make a gift of this point of view that we can do something by ourself. Make a gift of that. Don't trash it. Just say, here, I renounce it. I give it away. The idea that I can practice by myself. I give away. I make a practice that I do by myself. and now I'm ready to enter the practice which is the practice of all beings." And then the next paragraph says, it says, although our past evil karma has greatly accumulated, in some ways the logic would be, however, our past evil karma has greatly accumulated. In other words, in the past we have been thinking Our mind has been creating stories about practicing not together with everybody, with nobody, or with a few people.

[20:03]

We've had these stories. Our mind has had the activity of karma, of thinking of practicing separate from other beings. And because of that, hard for us. We feel some hindrance and some difficulty in opening even to the ceremony which worships this inconceivable unbounded practice of all beings. So we have to accept that there's some resistance to this just because of past action. But even though there's resistance, the set up now during the Sashin may be such that most of us and maybe even all of us could open to allowing our body and mind each moment allowing it to be a gift, a donation

[21:19]

a tribute, a worship, an act of worship of this great practice of all Buddhas and all beings. In a way, it's kind of simple. Just sort of see what you're doing right now. You're all sitting, I guess, and just simply make this a gift to all Buddhas, to the practice of all Buddhas, which is the same enlightenment as all beings. See if you feel right about that way of practice, not excluding anything about yourself. Make everything about yourself a gift.

[22:23]

Make everything about yourself an expression of alignment with the vast practice of all beings with the Buddha way. And then just continue that way every moment for as long as there's time. And if you can't, then practice called confession and repentance, namely, oops, I didn't, I slipped back into thinking I was not practicing together with other people. I slipped into thinking I had a practice and they had a practice and theirs was not so good and mine was better and, and yeah. I started to see again that I wasn't practicing together with this particular person or that particular person.

[23:27]

I confess that. This is my old story. My old story is re-emerging and I confess this. And during the session, causes and conditions are right. We can get into looking at what confession process, confession of deviating from this practice of all beings, what that practice would be like. Oftentimes when I'm talking to people lately, I'm talking to them, I'm listening to them.

[24:33]

They're talking to me, listening to me. And while I'm talking to them, I also and intend that this conversation is an offering to the Buddhas. and the bodhisattvas, I think of this conversation, of this talk, as an offering to practice, which is the same practice for the person I'm talking to and me and all beings. It's a mindfulness of the practice, but it's also a giving of my current life to that practice. and hopefully a giving which is nothing nothing withheld giving myself completely at this moment my whole life to this great practice of all beings to plunge into the oceanic practice beings enlightened and unenlightened animate and inanimate and I'm feeling

[25:50]

I'm feeling very good about such a practice. And also I invite your feedback if you wish to offer it in this lifetime to me. And in this setting, in this ceremony, I invite you to come forward and with the kindness of Paul Page and Kate Page and so on, I have a phone for you to use so people can hear you if you wish to speak. And also, this may be very clear, but I also hope that this moment right now, what we're doing together right now, is an offering to the Zazen of the Buddha.

[27:39]

Okay. I'm coming up here. I heard that it could be helpful to come up here. This is why I'm coming up. And I'm checking out the physical setting. Want to see if they can hear you? Can people hear her? Put your arm up in the air if you can't hear people. A little bit louder if you can. Can you speak a little louder? Okay, I can speak louder. How's that? Okay, so to hold the microphone close, come up here and standing. And it's a little awkward because one crosses the altar. But I guess I wish that this would be an offering, this action of coming up and holding the microphone close and speaking and facing beings.

[29:41]

Thank you. I appreciate your offering. Thank you. What's the offering to? Why not? It's an offering to this present moment. That I have ideas about. And that moment that I experience, it's an experience. And it's a practice. So it's a but it's giving and it's light because it doesn't have clear forms. It's a concrete state of life.

[30:43]

And right now it also has a question of it being, it having intentions. If this state, besides this action of holding and speaking, if it has further intentions, if those intentions are actually included in this place. That's my question. It's a question. I think that the state you're in has intention. And is this state that has intention, is that being offered as a gift? Yes. It might not be clear in that I notice that the awareness very strongly goes towards intention and forgets about forgets about it being a gift, that it can be absorbing to have a thought or to an extent that one doesn't actively think it would be a gift because it's so absorbing.

[32:06]

Yes, one can get distracted from the giving that you're involved in. Right. For example, one can slip from of the process of giving and slip into the process, the imaginary process of taking or getting because we have a history of thinking in terms of getting and the consequences of that is that we slip back into that way. It's possible. But the giving itself is not, the whole heart is giving itself is not just a thinking either, right? Giving is not just thinking, no. Giving is reality. Right. Beyond and including all our thinking. Only by thinking do we get close to giving, to the process of giving. So that would mean that intention could distract you from being whole hearted?

[33:12]

The consequence of intention is that intention can obscure your wholeheartedness, yes. The consequence of intending, for example, to do something to get something, the consequence of that could be that the giving process would be obscured. that we're doing together could be obscured, can be obscured by thinking in terms of me getting something, me gaining something, or you gaining something. And yet that would be a wholehearted act, right? It would be just a thought. Actually, no matter what you do, you're wholehearted. But if your dream is a story of half-heartedness, the consequence is that you may not be able to see the wholeheartedness. that what we call half-hearted, which is not a state, it's just... It's not a state, it's a characteristic of a state called its intention or its karma.

[34:23]

this day, here right now, it still doesn't have a clear form. Like, if I would like now, either to engage more in questions or where to leave, I don't know where to bow, because they're like, Buddha's here, Buddha's here, and Buddha's here. Would you like some help? If you give me the microphone, you can join your palms and then bow. And then you can back up a few steps and turn. Yes, that's good. And then walk back to your seat in Shashu. Whatever you like. It's fine.

[35:38]

Probably. I wanted to offer a confession. Could you hear me, by the way? No? A little louder? I wanted to offer a confession to a story that I have a little bit more understanding of this morning. And it's a story that I think keeps me half-hearted. The story is of not belonging and needing to find a way to belong. And I'm feeling that that story keeps me half-hearted, it keeps me separate. Would you like a response to that? Yes. Could you hear what she said? So I would say the story of, for example, not belonging and also that you kind of want to do something so you will belong, that story is what you could have sitting, you could like be sitting here, you know, cross-legged and feel like

[36:57]

I don't belong to the practice of the Buddha ancestors or something like that, and I want to do something so I belong. That's the state of your body and mind at that time. I'm suggesting to you that that body and mind, which has this motivation, which makes it feel not very wholehearted, that to the Buddha's, that you make that an offering, that you offer your actual state of not feeling half-hearted to the Buddha's. and see if you can offer it as a gift, not to get anything. I'm trying to get something here, but I wish not to offer this person something. I wish to donate the person who's seeking. I wish to make that a gift, and that gift, I don't want that to be seeking anything. And then some other state I'm in, like I might feel later, I might feel like, oh my God, I belong.

[37:58]

I'm like, I'm one of the Zen people and I belong here and I like that and I feel wholehearted about now that I'm in the group and this act too I wish to offer to the practice of all beings including all beings who don't feel isolated, alienated, exiled from the practice of all beings. I want to practice with them. I want to join the practice with them, even though now I don't have the problem of feeling exiled myself. Whatever the condition of my being, I offer it. I use it as an opportunity to worship the practice of all beings, to honor the practice of all beings. So I'm not saying, oh, Robin, you really do belong here.

[39:12]

I'm not saying that to you. I'm saying there is a practice with all beings. And we're in the process of opening to that. I would like to tell you that I was getting angry just right at the start of your talk. And I got angry when you said, or when you were quoting to Dogen as Zazen is not teaching meditation, because I felt lost right away.

[40:24]

It's a little different from that, though. The zazen is not teaching meditation. The zazen I'm teaching is not concentration. And I felt, by the way, not belonging very strongly and felt kind of like out. You felt excluded? Excluded. And lost. Because in a way there was this picture of, okay, I could sit there with my finger in my nose or... So, what is it? What is it? What am I doing there? Why am I sitting there silently if this is not teaching meditation? Or why do I try to be aware of what's happening? you were thinking that?

[41:25]

How are you now? Not angry. Actually, what helped me was the end of your talk when you said, okay, plunging into this oceanic, oceanic practice that felt like an invitation. That felt like what? An invitation. Invitation. Yeah, it's definitely an invitation. And... Yet I know this feeling of being lost is coming back.

[42:34]

In the ocean? In the ocean there's a feeling. It's many, many, many, many, many stories of being lost in this ocean. This ocean embraces all stories of being lost. All stories of being lost are welcome in this ocean. And also all stories of being found are there too. And they're all assisting each other. And a feeling of being lost has an enlightenment which is resonating with all other feelings and all other beings. And the feeling of being found has an enlightened activity also. And all these beings are practicing together.

[43:40]

It's the same. And that's the same enlightenment as a feeling of being lost and a feeling of being found. They share the same practice and the same enlightenment. and being angry also is in this ocean of practice of all angry beings, all happy beings, all suffering beings, all enlightened beings, all exiled beings, all found beings, all beings practicing together. That is the practice of the Buddhas. Such a practice is inviting you and you can invite such a practice. You're invited, and you can invite. And you can resist the invitation, too. But your resistance is totally included in the practice of all beings, which is the practice of the Buddhas

[44:53]

And you can't make it a little bit too big to grasp or a little too small to grasp, but you can give yourself to it. You can honor it. You can make everything you do lined up with it. Or not. And if you can't, but you want to, then we have a practice of confession and repentance that I'm having resistance to joining the practice of all beings. And I invite all beings to help me with my resistance to all beings. How is this for you? Thank you. You're welcome. Is doing an action wholeheartedly with full awareness of that wholeheartedness include within it the offering of that action to all beings?

[46:55]

Yes. Thank you. You're welcome. I think that was nice. That was complete for me. Although I could go on forever. So all beings are supposed this moment. Beings support me feeling... Can we hear him? They can hear you. A tiny bit louder, maybe. So beings are supporting me... That's a little bit too much.

[47:58]

Beings are supporting me feeling... I think a little farther from your mouth, Frederic. Right there. Okay. Try that. Beings... That seems to be good, yeah. Beings are supporting me as I feel... Right. I say yes, that's right. When you feel separate, beings are supporting you to feel separate. When you feel not supported, when you feel supported, they're supporting you to feel supported. So beings are supporting the suffering? Yes. So the practice you speak of does not depend upon meritorious or beneficent action? Or does it? There's beneficent action, meritorious action.

[49:03]

It does depend on it. It includes everything. It includes the practice of all all meritorious practices and all demeritorious practices. There's a way those practices are all practicing together and have the same practice. They're all and that's the practice of the Buddhas. And opening to that practice is what the Buddhas are encouraging. So I would like to ask you for some advice on How would you recommend I leave here in a week being more available and open to my family and people in my life? Yes, that would be good. Okay.

[50:03]

Now, how would you recommend that? How do you offer I approach that or am open to that? Well, would you like that? Do you want that? Very much. Well, then thinking that you would like that and remembering moment by moment what you want, that would be conducive to realizing that. So living by that vow that you just mentioned and trying to be mindful of it every moment, that would contribute to you being able to be mindful of it every moment. It's not a deterministic thing, but there's a tendency. It sounds like it's something I could start practicing like now. Now, I'm going to do another experiment, if that's okay with you, of having you just speak and see how it goes without you.

[51:40]

See if that works for people. It seems to me that the more... How'd that work? Can you hear him okay in the back? Yeah. Or speak slightly louder. That would be nice. The more effort I feel called upon to make, for instance, getting up earlier than I'm accustomed or sitting through more discomfort than I'm accustomed, the more effort I make or want to make, the denser my belief in my self-power becomes. I feel like I really need to do this really hard. I need to make a real effort here. Thank you for that statement. So, could you hear what he said? The more he feels called upon to make greater effort, the more he tends to think that it's... he starts to think in terms of self-power, that he's doing it by himself.

[52:50]

Does that make sense? So there's that dynamic. However, you did start by saying, the more I feel called upon. So in this hasheen we may feel called upon dash supported to get up earlier than we might usually do. And also we feel called upon to attend a schedule of meditations which occur more frequently. than we usually are experiencing. We feel called upon. And then, even though we feel called upon, we still can think more in terms of, can I do this? Can I follow the schedule? Can I exercise myself and participate in such a schedule? We slip into that way of, or, you know, we're used to that way of thinking about it and seem to get even stronger, you're saying, in a way. Yeah, so I'm suggesting to you that to be generous with that, what you just described, that.

[54:01]

And that, if that occurs, that's your practice at a given moment in this sashin. And I'm suggesting to you that you make that a gift to the Buddhists. a gift to the practice not of Stephen and not of the Buddhas, exactly, but the practice of Buddhas, which is the practice of all beings, including your sense of, geez, I wonder if I'll be able to do it. Just like, yeah, again, here I am wondering if I can follow this schedule or feeling like I've got to make this big effort to get through this period That's who I am right now, which is fine. This is a gift I've got in a way to offer to the practice of all beings.

[55:05]

I wish this to be my offering. This is a gift. I'm a gift. And all beings have supported me and been generous to me to make me like this so that I reciprocate and resonate and assist them back And I still may feel this, because of past karma, like this tightness or this isolation or whatever. And I make it a gift. I don't push it away. I sincerely offer it. And I'm saying to you, you know, that's not a chintzy gift in my view. That's the real gift of who you are at this moment. And we don't want another Stephen. I mean, we don't want you to offer a different Stephen who you are, even though who you are is feeling maybe kind of... yourself. That's a perfectly reasonable state for you to donate to this practice. And if you feel like you're forcing yourself to follow the schedule, again, at the moment of feeling like you're forced

[56:19]

Make it a gift. Make it an act of worship of the practice of the Buddhas. It seems like, particularly in those moments, it's hard. I don't know if I believe in other beings in those moments. It's like there's me. I don't know everything else. I'm not sure where the donation would go. You don't believe in other beings, and maybe you don't even believe in giving at that moment. Yeah, I would do it because you recommended it, but I don't know if I can say I believe in it at that moment. And if you didn't believe it, would it be possible to feel like you were actually being generous with yourself at that time? Maybe. Well then, I guess it happened then.

[57:23]

At that time you feel like, oh, there was some generosity here. Looking for generosity and not being able to find it is actually a gift. And finding it is also a gift. And then finding or not finding it a gift is also a gift. Giving is what you're actually involved in. People, beings are giving to you and you're giving to them. And one of the things you are is somebody who doesn't believe that there's any giving going on. You can be that. In other words, no matter what state you're in, you're in the process of giving. And no matter what state you're in, the next state could be that you don't think there's giving going on. That could happen. There's maybe no The risk that we would lose track that we live in a gracious field of practice with all beings.

[58:30]

We could always lose track of that. And then we flip into half-heartedness and worldly affairs. Even though we're in the same practice field, we now are dreaming of being half-hearted, ungenerous, and that other people are ungenerous with us, and other bodhisattvas are ungenerous with us. We can dream that. What we need to learn is that no matter what the dream is, it's been given to us, and we give it. That all beings are involved in this practice. Nobody is excluded, which means no state you're in is outside this practice. but sometimes we cannot see that, we cannot understand it, we do not feel it. So then we confess, I do not see it, I do not feel it, I do not believe in it, but I notice I'm saying so, which is like, sounds like the story of an old Zen master who said the same things repeatedly and walked into the awareness of the practice.

[59:45]

which is not just another idea, but it's a realization of the actuality of the practice. Could you speak up, please? I'm relatively new to Green Gulch. I'll hold it for you. Okay. I'm relatively new to Green Gulch. How's that? Is it good?

[60:50]

Okay. I've always been a bit of a loner, shunning the world. You think that? That you've been a loner? Yes. That's a story, I would say. That's a story. That's a history. Yeah, it's a herstory, too. I have a lot of land in New York State. I have animals. You stay away from your animals? We have a lot of... Oh, no, no, no. Oh, you're not a loner with the animals. Oh, no, no, no. So I guess I'm not a loner. My animals. Your animals, yeah. Okay. And flowers, stones. Oh, so you're not a loner. No, I'm just a loner from people. From humans. Yes. I don't read the news.

[61:50]

I don't listen to the radio. There's so much goodness and evil in the world that I just want to know part of it. So I stay with the animals and the beauty that I have around me. And my here, and I found out about here. And I no longer wanna be away from people. I wanna be away from the newspapers. I wanna be away from the radios. Animals and my land could be taken care of by someone else because they're fine. I wanna be with people like this.

[62:54]

Well, welcome to people like this. These people are actually alive. It is amazing. Yes, some of us should not be here, I suppose, in body. But I guess the rest of the time in books, I've studied religions and philosophies. And I guess last of all, I've read Eastern religions. And then last of all, I've read Buddhism. And you know, well, where are these people? And here I am. Yeah. And very happy to have found these people that are living. And very happy. So I guess I have a happy story.

[64:00]

It is a happy story. Nothing to say? Well, let's see. What do I want to say? I really appreciate you being and saying that you still want to stay away from the newspapers. Appreciate your honesty. And so I'm just saying to you and to everybody that there's a practice that I'm interested in, which is my main interest, which is the practice of being gentle and upright with any feeling of wanting to stay away from anything. So I'm not trying to get you to give up some feeling of wanting to stay away from being in this universe.

[65:02]

But I want to be open to you wanting to stay away from something. And I do want, I actually want you to make a gift of that feeling or that intention to stay away from something. I would like you to make that a gift to the intimacy of all beings. I would like to be strong enough to be what I am and be able to face a newspaper and not feel like the world is going to hell in a handbasket. You said you'd like to be able to feel better without feeling a certain way. Without feeling horrible.

[66:07]

Yeah. Without feeling like crying. Right. So what I want for you and for me is that we will learn to be able to face feeling. So that's part of what we're doing here is trying to help each other learn how to be upright and gentle and peaceful when horrible feelings come. So, and during the Sashin, there's been horrible feelings that might come to some of us. people sometimes have horrible feelings like horrible feelings about the world or about their knees or about their own history. Horrible feelings come up and then in this situation we're trying to support each other to learn how to be upright with a horrible feeling and be tender and gentle and flexible with it. and be peaceful with it. But also you're being honest.

[67:08]

That's the beginning for you right now. You're being honest that horrible feelings are out there to be had and you would like to, I think, actually be able to face them with equanimity and gentleness. And if we can, then we will hear the true Dharma and we will see that actually horrible feelings and happy feelings and all beings have a practice that they're doing together and a realization and enlightenment which is the same for all of them. There is a practice and an enlightenment which is the same for all beings. But we can't open to that if we can't open to and gentle with horrible feelings. Or also people have trouble being upright sometimes with very happy feelings.

[68:08]

They tend to lean into happy feelings or try to grasp happy feelings. So to be very tender with happy feelings, unhappy feelings, joyful feelings, horrible beings, lovely beings, to really be upright with all these beings is the way we open to the practice of all beings. And so during the sesshin we have lots of opportunities of a variety of stories to practice being upright and gentle and honest and peaceful with them as a way to get ready as a ceremony to offer ourselves to the practice. And it's difficult, yeah. It's difficult. And we are here to tell you that we share your difficulty.

[69:09]

And that's why there is the point we chanted this morning, talking about hearing this true Dharma, but then there's history which makes it hard. There's lots of obstruction to this great path of all beings. So you're honestly showing that you have some history which makes you want to stay away from some beings. And I appreciate that. I think other people appreciate that so that they also can confess and admit that there's some situation they just can't relax with, can't be upright with. They have to push them away or hold on to them. So this story you're telling of your history is appreciated. You have compassion for President Bush, yeah. Yes, I do. Yeah. And I think, yeah, and I, you know, when you talk in America, when you talk to Buddhist groups and you talk about compassion, they're fine.

[70:14]

They like that idea, except in certain cases, they think that's going too far, right? Many Buddhists feel that way, that that's just beyond their ability at this time. That's a very advanced practice for some people. But I think we know that the Buddha, the Buddhas feel compassion for everybody with no exceptions. And the way they would interact with people, however, sometimes is very intense. You know, they might give some strong suggestions, but it's really coming from compassion. That's what we want to find. is a way to be compassionate to everybody and then to speak from that compassion and that wisdom. We need wisdom to be compassionate with everybody. So when we're compassionate with everybody, we have wisdom and compassion.

[71:19]

And then action emerges from there. This is an aspiration which maybe we all share. I don't know. May our intention equally extend.

[71:56]

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