I proposed yesterday and again, may I say again today, that I have this sense that the beings we call bodhisattvas, the context of their progress, of their walking forth in their life of practice. And the source also of their practice is great vows. They live in the context of great vows and they're coming from great vows. For example, the vow to live for the welfare, I vow to live for the welfare of all beings. I vow to save all beings.

[01:02]

I vow to hear the true Dharma. I vow to make offerings to all Buddhas. By means of every action of body, speech and thought, I vow to make every action an offering to all Buddhas. Moment after moment, I vow that every action of body, speech and mind, moment after moment, will be an act of homage to all Buddhas. I vow that every action of body, speech and mind will be given in praise of all Buddhas. I vow that every action will be in order to hear the true Dharma.

[02:12]

I vow that every action will be to accommodate to the welfare of all living beings. These are bodhisattva vows that I've heard of and which I think of and which I speak of. And it is my understanding that these great beings live in the context of such vows, of such ideas, and of commitment to such ideas, to such a way of giving all actions throughout the day in this way. And the Zazen, the Zen meditation that I'm speaking of and that I think Eihei Dogen speaks of, is a Zazen which is living in the middle of such vows.

[03:22]

It is a zazen which is that kind of life, that kind of intimacy with the Buddhas and all beings. It is the kind of practice where we continually give ourselves to the practice of all beings, which is the practice of the Buddha's, the Buddha's practice. The Buddha is the Buddha's practice and the Buddha's practice is the practice of all beings. All the enlightened beings and all the unenlightened beings, all of them together, the way they're helping each other, inconceivably mutually assisting each other, that is the Buddha's. That is the Buddha, that is the Buddha's, and that is zazen of the Buddha ancestors.

[04:25]

And then yesterday also I mentioned that Dogen says, this zazen I'm speaking of is not, you could say, is not limited to the practice of concentration. And I just wanted to mention that if someone were in this hall practicing concentration, which is fine, that these bodhisattva vows don't mean you can't practice concentration here. It just means that your concentration practice could be in the context of bodhisattva vows. So one of the things a person can do is practice concentration or practice giving or practice precepts or practice patience or practice wisdom. We can do these practices which seem to be personal practices and they can be done in the context of bodhisattva vows.

[05:36]

So you can practice concentration and stop there or you can practice concentration in the context of bodhisattva vows. So, for example, you can practice concentration as an offering to Buddhas. You can practice concentration as worshipping Buddhas and honoring Buddhas. You can practice concentration as praising Buddhas. You can practice concentration as an accommodation, as an offering to all sentient beings. In that context all your personal activities can be exercised. And then your personal activities are celebrating that they're being done in concert with all beings.

[06:46]

So it isn't that you don't have any personal activities, it's just that they have a huge bodhisattva context and perhaps a huge, this huge and extensive bodhisattva motivation. So as I was, like for example, when we have meals here, we actually physically, one of our community members comes and makes a physical food offering to the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas on the altar. So that is an offering to the Buddhas, a gift to the Buddhas, which we are sharing in the giving. And also during our meals we feed, we put food, usually we put food in our own mouth But when we put food in our mouth, when we feed ourselves, we're feeding ourselves, we can be feeding ourselves, I feed myself as an offering to Buddha.

[07:59]

I feed this practitioner, I feed this disciple of Buddha as an offering to Buddha. I don't feed this person just to feed this person, I feed this person to feed my neighbor. and my neighbor's neighbor. I feed this person for all beings, not just for this person. I feed this person as worshiping the Buddhas. I feed this person as praising the Buddhas. Just like you, obviously it would be easy to understand that if you feed a hungry child, of course you're feeding a hungry child, but of course you're also praising the Buddhas when you take care of a hungry child. It's easy to understand that. Of course Buddha would want you to take care of this hungry child by feeding her. But sometimes people forget that when you're feeding themselves, that also can be done not just to feed yourself, but to feed all beings

[09:07]

And if in the process of feeding myself, I lose control of my hand and my hand goes over and accidentally puts some of my food in my neighbor's mouth, that's not such a problem to me because I wasn't primarily trying to get it in my mouth. I was trying to make an offering to all beings. So we could practice that way here, but it gets complicated because then she says, I want more rice, you know. It's hard to, you know, to actually be feeding everybody else. So we just do the regular thing of feeding ourself for the welfare of all beings. We can remember this. It's possible to take care of yourself as an offering to all Buddhas. You can do it that way. You can feel that way. You can want to enlarge your personal activity to embrace all beings and be embraced by all beings.

[10:13]

This is the way to make what you're doing, to make your eating and sleeping and walking a ceremony, a religious celebration of your relationship with all beings. And to work wholeheartedly at feeding yourself and feeding others, at concentrating yourself of training yourself, but train yourself in patience. Train yourself in ethics. Train yourself in concentration as a gift to all Buddhas. Of course they appreciate such gift. You're doing, you're putting their teaching into practice. What could be a greater gift? What could be a greater praise? But we can forget that and we can think, oh, I'm practicing patience just for me. I'm practicing concentration just for me. I'm practicing ethics just so I can be more ethical.

[11:13]

Well, you can do it that way. It's okay. It's all right. We'll support you to practice that way. But you could also enlarge your practice, open up to the practice, the actual practice, which is what you're doing together with and the same as all beings, which is the activity of Buddha. And again, when I say Buddha, fundamentally I mean the silent, unmoving bond among all beings.

[12:32]

That's what I mean by Buddha. And that ungraspable, all-pervasive bond among all beings can manifest in many ways. For example, it can manifest as the teacher Shakyamuni Buddha, who then told us about Buddha. And it can manifest as Suzuki Roshi. We don't necessarily say that Suzuki Roshi was a Buddha, but I think for us he was a manifestation of Buddha that helped us a great deal. And 38 years ago, earlier in the morning on this day, he passed away.

[13:41]

During, just during or just before five o'clock Zazen at the city center, he passed away. I don't remember him emphasizing the constant presence of the Buddhas in the world.

[14:50]

But his ancestor Dogen did emphasize this, that the Buddhas are present. with each of us all the time. That what the Buddhas do is they practice together with us. They practice together with each of us. We don't have to make this happen. We don't have to open to this, but we can open to it. It can happen. And the opening to it is not done by ourselves alone. I can't open to the presence of the Buddhas by myself. But together with all of you, there can be an opening which I can be part of. And together with all of us, you, each of you, can open to the Buddhas who are practicing together with you right now.

[15:54]

And again, I propose that it is practicing together with all Buddhas and all non-Buddhas that is the Buddha way. And again, Buddhas do appear and disappear because that can be helpful to us. So it was helpful to me and to many of us that Suzuki Roshi appeared in the world or that Suzuki Roshi lived in the world that Buddha appeared through him in this world was helpful to many of us and that Shakyamuni Buddha and other human beings lived in the world as an indication of the presence of the Buddhas on Sunday, the Shusso, gave a talk, and I think she referred to the Han, the wooden board, which we strike at various times to signal people to come to, to invite people to come to meditation.

[17:59]

And she said that on the board It says something like, what did you say, birth and death, what? What did you say about birth and death? She said, great is the matter of birth and death. That's one translation of it. I just looked it up before I came here and it says, birth, death, matter, great. So one way to translate those Chinese characters, birth, death, matter, great, would be, great is the matter of of birth and death. Birth and death is a Chinese way of saying samsara. So it means birth and death but it also means cyclic birth and death. It means the world of being trapped in a compulsive process of birth and death. And so you could say well that's a great matter And samsara, or birth and death, is a great matter. And I would agree with that.

[19:02]

But another way to understand it is to read it as the great matter of birth and death. And the great matter of birth and death, you could say, is the appearance of the Buddha's So birth and death certainly is a very important issue. It's a very important affair for us. But also the appearance of the Buddhas within birth and death is the great matter. And the the great matter of the appearance of birth and the great matter of the appearance of Buddhas is the condition, the desire, the wish that beings would be opened and awakened to Buddha's wisdom.

[20:20]

So here is this relationship possibility to be related to the wish for us to open to Buddha's wisdom. And relating to this wish is a condition for the appearance of the Buddha in this world. So now I'm just thinking and expressing to you my thoughts and that would be that I'm thinking again of making every action of body, of speech and of thought just

[21:30]

give every one of those actions of body, speech and thought, give them as an invitation to the Buddhas to come and be with us. Not to get anything, but just to realize our intimacy. And then, again, another action, another invitation. Another celebration that what we're doing here, we're doing together with each other and together with all Buddhas. We are already here and we don't necessarily need to invite any more people into the room, but also infinite Buddhas are present with us also. And this is the context which can be invoked for every action of body, speech and mind.

[22:41]

If I think of, and I do think of, Suzuki Roshi, that's an action of my mind. I'm not in control of what my mind's thinking, but I experience what my mind is thinking. I experience the activity of my mind. I experience the stories in my mind. and I'm responsible for them, but so are you. And so is the season. So I particularly think of Suzuki Roshi in the autumn for some reason. And the feelings I have when I think of him in the autumn are different than the feelings I have when I think of him in the summer or when I think of him in the summer. The feelings in the autumn are more poignant partly because he died in the autumn. And he was very sick in the autumn of 1971. But I also first met him in the autumn of 1967.

[24:24]

I first saw his feet in the autumn of 1967. And I remember in the autumn of 1968, on December 10th, I went to his office and asked him if I could go to Tassajara for the winter practice period. I remember the fluorescent lighting in his office and his orchid plants. and so on.

[25:25]

Four autumns. Four? Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine, seventy-five, and seventy-one. Those four autumns with him, I often think of those four San Francisco autumns. Precious poignant moments with this person. And now, years later, I have more people, more teachers in my life that have been open to So now I'm not just practicing with this wonderful man who died, but all of our friends, all of our Buddha friends are now being welcomed and included surrounding my little life, my little activities.

[26:44]

And my little activities are offered to the great mass of living beings and enlightened beings. And my own death fits in very nicely with such a practice. And my own death will not hinder the continued life of such a practice, which is the practice of all beings. It will go on moment by moment for all time. So I'm glad to be part of this practice in the form I'm in now and now. I'm glad to talk to you about this and I welcome your feedback as usual.

[27:54]

It sounded to me today as if you were talking about a specific practice and specific Buddhas. And yesterday I heard you say that the Buddhas practice includes everything. So what's the difference? Well, like right now I'm speaking to you. And this speaking is coming from my thought. which is, you know, what I thought you said and what might be good to say in response to you. So I'm thinking and speaking right now. And I speak to you as an offering to Suzuki Roshi on his Memorial Day. Dear Teacher, I speak to Rei Rin as a gift to you. I celebrate you at the same time I'm talking to her. And that makes me happy to talk to her and makes her happy to talk to me.

[29:51]

And so we're living together, not just the two of us, but with all beings. So I have this small little thing I'm doing, but it's a ceremony to celebrate the big thing we're plunged into together. And if other people want to join in this conversation, it would make sense to welcome them. And is it correct that the Buddha's practice also includes worldly affairs? It includes all things. So the Buddha's wholehearted practice includes all beings who do not understand wholeheartedness. So all beings who are constricted and withdrawn and closed to their relationship with each other. all those beings are completely included in Buddha's wholehearted practice. So also when we see, if we see anyone who's withdrawn, frightened, tense, etc., unappreciative of themselves or others, we would understand that we practice together with those people.

[31:04]

And our wholeheartedness would be our ability to open to them and really let them be the way they are. And for them to feel that they can be withdrawn and closed to our love. To really let them be that way, graciously. And to feel the pain that they're experiencing by that. And that kind of inclusion is also an act of, it isn't the same as Buddha's wholeheartedness, it's our version of it. But in that way we celebrate total openheartedness, total wholeheartedness. You can't hear her, right?

[32:18]

So you can either speak up or you can hold this. Before you came in, there was a few moments silent and there was only one being which was sitting outside and and made a noise or sound. And I forgot about it. I couldn't quite follow. You said before I came in the room, there was a moment of silence. Of silence. And there was one being. Outside. Outside the room. And said something. It was a frog. A frog outside. And I forgot about the ceremony, about Tsutsuki Roshi. And I just heard this frog. And after this... You love frogs. And now you talk about him.

[33:22]

And I forgot about it. And I said to myself before we were talking about him, I only come up here when this frog gives me a sign to speak. But he didn't spoke, so now I have to speak. For a snake, it seems to be so easy to come out of her old skin, and I find it very difficult to let go of this old skin. And I would like to ask you that you can maybe say something about it.

[34:24]

I'm actually deeply moved by you sharing with us the difficulty of letting go of your old skin. And letting go of old skin comes with accepting that it's difficult to let go of old skin. Not accepting how difficult it is for the old skin to slough off is what it's like is what is called difficult to let go of old skin it's actually dropping off all the time but because we resist it we miss it but all beings are actually removing our skin and giving us a new one each moment but it's hard for us to open to that

[35:59]

Thank you. You're welcome. Why don't you come next? You were next. You can come. I know you can wait, but... Yeah, she's closer. That's why you should come. I think she won't forget. She has a good memory. Good morning. Maybe you could use it.

[37:18]

Okay, she doesn't need it. I vow with all beings to recognize each raindrop as downward. The ancient truth that tree and flowers have already known. Could you hear her? Would you do it one more time? No, no, no. I'm okay with that. Do it for him. Ready? Listening to rain during Zazen. Listening to rain during Zazen.

[38:19]

I vow with all beings to recognize each raindrop as Dharma, the ancient truth that trees and flowers have already known. Today, Buddha is a silent, unmoving, ungraspable bones among all beings. For me, yeah, that's my Buddha. So another word is interconnectedness. Another word is intimacy. Yes. And then... Last time I talked intimacy with you, you said, if I want intimacy, it's not right attitude because intimacy is already there.

[39:31]

If I want it, I'm denying that intimacy already exists. No, I wouldn't say if you want it, but rather if you seek it. What's the difference? Well, for example, wanting is more like You understand wanting, but seeking is a little bit like looking someplace else, some other time. Seeking is like, for example, I could want pure heart, okay? But I don't have to go someplace to get pure heart. She's already here. Do you understand? Yeah. Yeah, I want you, but I don't seek you. Then I asked you then, how about I want more intimacy? Then you said wanting more causes hindrance, disturbing. So instead of experiencing that intimacy already exists, I seek more, so I miss it.

[40:36]

That's why I shouldn't want more. I agree. I'm not saying you shouldn't. You can want more. That's fine. But that's a hindrance. Basically it's a hindrance, wanting more. Wanting more is not the same as thank you very much. Thank you very much for this intimacy is not the same as more, give me more. I'm so grateful that I have this much and I want to continue to be grateful for this much and this much and this much and this much. This is my story. You said that the person who are closing and appreciative and withdraw, I can be that person if let me be. Me too. But I try to open up because I want that intimacy.

[41:39]

Is that wrong motivation? No, it's fine. And just remember again, I want to open up, but I can't do it by myself. So I invite everyone to help me. And they do. And you said those people, we closed person are also part of whole things. So I can be closed too. So what's the deal? Why have to be open then? I can be closed. I don't need to be open. I'm already part of it. Yeah. So I don't need to exercise, practice intimacy. And not only that, but if someone's closed, that's part of the causes and conditions of Buddhas appearing in the world, because they come to help the closed people.

[42:47]

So thank you to any closed people, because that keeps the Buddhas around. So you don't have to open up. You already are. actually. You're just dreaming of being closed. Being closed is a dream. And it's okay that you dream of being closed. It's part of the drama of life that we dream we're closed. So you said you can be a closed person. It's a drama too? Yeah. And if you wish to be free of this drama, or be free in this drama, then study the stories and study them in a gracious way. So what's the purpose of practicing, opening up, practicing?

[43:53]

The purpose? I guess the purpose is called great compassion. That's the purpose. To cultivate the compassion? To cultivate it, to practice it, yes. I don't get it, but I think about it. Well, it's called, it's also, you could say the purpose is happiness, fearlessness and joy. that comes with practicing compassion with the situation of beings who are closed to their relationship with each other. Because we are open already in order to realize, to realize we practice openness? Yeah, exactly. We're generous already, but if we don't practice generosity, we might miss our generosity. We're giving up our skin already, but if we don't practice giving up our skin, we miss that we're giving up our skin.

[45:02]

We're still already. If we don't practice being still, we miss being still. The reality of our life, if we don't practice it, we don't realize it. We're actually part of this infinite bond with all beings. If we don't practice that, We miss it. And when we miss it, we feel uncomfortable because we're somewhat deficient in the vital way of total emancipation. But why you only chose, we are open, we are take like a positive part as a reality and the negative part as not a reality, like a delusion. Why you call the closed as delusion but open is the way it is? Because the law is that things do not exist by themselves, that there are no things existing separate from other things. Things do not exist by themselves.

[46:05]

Things are not made by themselves. Things are made interdependently. So to think that something's made independently is false. That's the law. The law is the law of interdependence, not the law of independence. So to think that I make myself all by myself and I do things by myself, that's incorrect. That's against the law of causation. So the Buddha teaches causation, namely things have cause. They depend on something other than themselves. There's no independent things. So the dreams of closeness and independence and self-causation, those are incorrect. Those are delusions. That's not true. What's true is interdependence, which means dropping off body and mind, openness and so on. We actually are open to each other because we depend on each other. So openness and interdependence are actionable, although there's no substance to them by the logic of interdependence.

[47:12]

You can't grasp interdependence. You can't grasp this bond. It's ungraspable, you know, inconceivable. But it's there to be enjoyed, and we have a practice to enjoy it. But if we don't practice, we miss it. And if we miss it, then we slip into dreams of independence, isolation, non-intimacy, fear, and violence. And then things get really terrible. And then we don't even know how to cope with them because without a practice. So now that things are pretty peaceful here, we have a chance to deepen the practice. So we're not, we're being pretty peaceful with each other here. Now we can deepen the practice of appreciating that we're generous with each other. So again, during the meal, we say, about the three wheels. We want to realize that giver, receiver and gift are inseparable.

[48:18]

So we deepen our understanding in this practice setting so that we can have compassion for everybody. We do have compassion for everybody. We do love, not like everybody, Not dislike everybody, but love everybody. We do love everybody. We have that in us that is our actual relationship. But if we don't practice that, we don't know it. And we cannot practice that by ourselves. We need to practice knowing that by inviting all the help that's there, all the Buddhas. Invite them to come and support us, to dare to love all beings. You're welcome. Thank you very much.

[49:20]

Excuse me for a minute, Stan. That's fine. Don't worry. You can use this if you wish. I probably don't need it. use it as you wish. About once a year, sometimes twice, I hear something about Zazen that makes me think, oh, that's what Zazen is. And it shifts usually in the direction of more radical not doing. Like, oh, you mean doing nothing, something like that. So this sashin, I have an idea that I'm offering to you because I'm holding on to it.

[50:34]

It's a new idea, pretty new, a couple days old. But it's something like, It's a state of receptivity where even that word receptivity is too much. It's too active, even the word. So what do you think about that? It's a state of receptivity. I think that's fine. You're also probably familiar with, we have this... We have this hexagram called the double split hexagram, and one part of the hexagram is a trigram, which is sometimes used as a symbol for our practice. The center of the trigram is a feminine line, which is receptive. So at the center of this diagram is receptivity.

[51:35]

So receptivity, in a sense, is at the center, but then is surrounded by two masculine active lines. So our practice is to receive, to be receptive, but it's surrounded by giving. So it's the awareness of receiving the self and giving the self, receiving the self and giving the self. So we receive a self which we then can give. So I think zazen is both receiving and giving a self. You receive a self from all beings and then you give yourself to all beings. You receive yourself from all enlightened beings and all unenlightened beings. Wholeheartedly receive this and then give it, moment after moment, self-receiving and employing, self-receiving and employing. What's the difference between giving it and not holding onto it in the first place?

[52:36]

What's the difference between giving and not holding onto it in the first place? Is giving extra? Not holding on to it can be called the same as giving. But make it giving. And again, not holding on is, you might consider that a passive, somewhat passive, not holding on. But the active side would be make it giving. And there's something joyful about the active side of giving, and there's something joyful about the passive side. But again, as it says in the Milchant, the three wheels, giver, receiver, and gift, they're not really separate. They're all empty of independence in that process. So I'm curious about how that giving manifests. Is it a thought of giving? It manifests... The part we're being encouraged to work on it is body, speech, and mind.

[53:39]

So you're thinking your story about what's going on and your posture and your voice. Everything, all your kinds of karma, that they would all be lined up with that giving process. So I'm giving you my zazen right now. May you welcome someone? Yes. I'm sitting here and I'm looking straight ahead and I see a figure in black looking right at me. And the figure is a person. The person is Jeremy. I think we're married. And he hasn't been spending much time in this room in a very, very long time.

[54:41]

But his role in this whole practice event has been integral and completely indispensable. And I wanted to say welcome, and I'm very glad you're here. You were speaking about Suzuki Hiroshi, who died 36 years ago. Is it loud enough? A little closer. You were speaking about Suzuki Hiroshi, who died 36 years ago. 38. 71.

[55:43]

Oh, is that 36? Sorry. Sorry. I mean, thank you. Thank you. I thought there was a book coming out this year, I think it's called The World Without Us. The World Without Us? Yes. I didn't read it, but I read about this book and it's obviously a kind of vision that from today to tomorrow all of us would disappear. No humans anymore would be on the world. All of us would disappear just from today to tomorrow. And this is the moment where the book starts. And the author develops a vision and what is happening then. And life goes on. Also non-life goes on. And there still seems to be this bound you were talking about. Beings are living on this earth.

[56:43]

The universe goes on. And a question I still have is, is there really no difference if not only one of us, but all of us would disappear from a Buddhist point of view? It's really a difference when the whole realm of human beings in the whole system, which we have in Buddhism also, would just be away. On one hand, I think, actually it wouldn't make much difference, but then I think when this whole realm would disappear from the six realms, Wouldn't the whole system, wouldn't Buddhism, wouldn't the whole practice collapse? So I don't know what happens. It's just an idea, but I think someday we will disappear, as we appeared a while ago. I don't know. Could you say something about what you think would happen if humans would disappear?

[57:45]

Could you hear what he said? No. Well, he's saying, you know, that he's reading a book, or there is a book about, which starts with human beings not here anymore. And so he's wondering if I have any thoughts about that. And I guess one thought I have is that the Buddha did teach that there would be an evolution of the Dharma and that at a certain point it would be understood that the Dharma would disappear. in the world and the world would spend some time or a world goes into a state of transformation when the Dharma is lost, the teaching is lost to beings in that world including that some beings would perhaps not would also be extinguished in that world and a new world would be formed which might not have humans in it

[58:47]

And that, again, whatever beings there are there, at some point it comes to be that there's a teaching which will arise which will help the beings in that world become free of suffering. And to help beings in that world become, be non-violent and fearless, or fearless and non-violent. So, in fact, and there is predicted another world which will arise when there will be a new Buddha, and the name of the Buddha is Maitreya, and that Buddha will give a new Buddha Dharma for the beings in that world. And they may not be human beings, but they would be beings who were evolved enough to receive a teaching of the Dharma. And some of them in that world might also not be I should say, and the different beings in that world have different proclivities, like frogs can receive Dharma too, but they receive it in a different way than foxes and humans.

[59:55]

So all beings can receive Dharma now, but the Buddha did say that there's a time when the Dharma comes to extinction and then there's a world that doesn't have the Buddha Dharma and then the Buddha Dharma arises in a world where it's not apparent, And then there's the beginning of the teaching again and so on. And then that too would go through a cycle and would disappear and then there would be another. So, yeah. And now we still have some, a little bit left of the Dharma here that we can use. and receive and use, receive and employ, receive and employ. We have the dharma of ourselves, the dharma of each other, the dharma of the teaching, the dharma of the practice. And it still may be useful to practice it even though we humans may not be around here much longer.

[60:56]

But among, in the last 2,500 years, it has been said that this teaching, which has been useful to some people, will disappear. And that a new revolution of some true Buddha Dharma will occur in another world, perhaps on the same planet. And so we're where now we have the opportunity to help each other in the current difficulties, to try to be kind to all beings. All beings try to be kind, and this is to continue the Buddha's teaching under these circumstances. And to be kind to all beings with the assistance of all beings, and not to try to do it all by ourself, because that's too hard. But with everybody's help, we can, you know, we can, together, we can practice compassion.

[62:06]

You're welcome. You're welcome. For about 50 years I've practiced political and social justice as a course of my life. And then for the last 33 years I've tried to integrate that with Buddhist practice. and make sure that I wasn't creating the problems I was trying to cure in my own life.

[63:09]

And it's been a process of ceaseless energy and effort. And I've pretty much given up needing to see personal results. But I felt that it was important to keep an example of engaged human activity alive so that my children or other people could see what engaged human activity is like. And sometimes my wife or my children would resent the time that I dedicated to all beings or other people and I tried to explain that to them that it was important to keep this alive. So every day after Zazen I study and last week I encountered a story in an old Zen story that shook me, kind of rocked my convictions.

[64:20]

And it was the story about an old Chinese fisherman who fished with a straight pin. Straight hook. Yeah, just a straight needle. And everyone laughed at him because they said, how can you catch a fish like that? And he said, I'm fishing for a very special fish. And people talked about this man and laughed about this man. And the fame of his idiocy spread far and wide. And one day the emperor came to see him. and he showed him the straight pin and the emperor said, what kind of a fish can you catch with that? And the man said, I caught you. And the reason that this story shook me and what I'd like you to address is that it made me feel that if my conviction about Buddhist practice

[65:26]

were unshakeable i would have the courage of that fisherman to stay fixed at my task and trust that the universe would sweep the situation to me i would not have to go out and seek it i would not have to be saving the last gay whale or feeding the last hungry person, but that my work would come directly to me. And so I'm a little stuck with seeing this as a problem of conviction in my practice, that my conviction is not unshakable, and that if it were, I might actually be able to let myself off the hook hook that i'm on is not a straight hook it's a hook with several barbs do you understand what i'm saying to you i think it's better have i been clear i think you've been clear and i think it's better if i don't understand you then i'll be able to answer better okay i um

[66:47]

So one thing is, you know, we're... This is like... Just before you came up, I was thinking this is like a compassion training center. And so sometimes people who live here are wondering, did they go out of this valley enough, or do enough problems come here to challenge them? And... I think being open to that question of do I need to move from this place in order to give the practice exposure to other types of beings, am I doing that enough? I think you're asking this question. And also ask your family if you're going out enough.

[67:51]

Ask your co-practitioners if you're going out enough. Or are you by any chance going out too much? And so I also ask all of you, am I going out enough from here? Am I getting challenged enough here? And it doesn't mean that what they say is true or false, but just that you're welcome. the feedback on whether you need to go anywhere. Because I think in some sense it is brought to you. You don't have to go anyplace. You are being brought every moment. And the Emperor will come to you when it's time. And it's very hard to fish with a straight hook. I tried it one time. It's really boring. I actually did.

[68:53]

I went to a lake in Minneapolis and sat at the edge of the lake with a rod and a string and a straight hook. It's pretty hard. And nobody was even teasing me. That would have made it more interesting. I have a question about giving. And since you recommended giving as a practice for me, looking at what can be given, it sometimes seems to me that there's hardly anything I really can give except for maybe

[70:08]

awareness and the idea of the self. I agree with what you say you can give. I agree. I agree with what you say you can give. I agree. You can give awareness. You can give the idea of self. Okay? I agree. I didn't find anything else. You can give these mountains around us. You can give the sunlight. You can give the gopher mounds. You can give me. How? Just say, here, I give Reb to you. Just like that, and mean it. Or actually feel like you give me to everybody. So my idea of you, give that, or? Give the idea of me, give the vision of me, give the smell of me, whatever way you know me, give me away as a gift. Also, give me to me. You can give me to me. Let me be me as a gift. Give Carl to Carl.

[71:14]

You have the giving of Carl to Carl to give to Carl. You can be generous with every person you meet. When you meet someone who's like this, be generous with that. When you meet someone who's like this, be generous with that. You can give every person you meet to themselves. And you can give yourself to yourself, moment by moment. That's your awareness and your ideas, your pain, your pleasure. In fact, you're already doing that. But if you don't join that, you'll miss it. To some extent, you'll miss it. But if you do join it, you'll realize that you're a boundlessly generous creature who's the result of boundless generosity of others. The more you realize how generous you are with us, the more you'll realize how generous we are with you.

[72:17]

There's no limit to what you can give. All phenomena are gifts. If you miss them, you have a chance to confess that you missed them. I have a hard time seeing... And you can be having a hard time. Yeah. Are you... Were you generous with yourself just there? I practiced giving on you having a hard time. Did you? think about it well you got to think about it i think otherwise you think you think you missed it otherwise you think i'm just having a hard time well it's not just i'm not just having a hard time i'm a i welcomed having a hard time i said thank you very much to having a hard time when your hard time my hard time did you you want to try how do i give a mountain i still don't

[73:25]

I can see it. Like this. This is how you're generous, just like this. This is your generosity and our generosity. It's just like this. This is the teaching of suchness. May I come up and ask again? Yes, you are welcome through infinity. I really must learn to welcome all things. I must learn this. Otherwise, the thing I most want to welcome, I will be closed to. gate gate, para gate, parasam gate, bodhi welcome, bodhisvaha.

[74:34]

We have to go beyond all limits for what we welcome in order to welcome bodhi. And of course that's very difficult. And some beings are challenging us to open even more very difficult for us to open to some beings outwardly and inwardly. But we must go beyond, entirely beyond our limits of what we can welcome as Dharma in order to open to the Bodhi. And be patient and gentle with ourselves if we can't. And be patient and gentle with those who are also having trouble opening to their life. And from that patience, make more gifts. Is that enough for this morning?

[75:40]

What do you say, Anil? Enough? Or do you say anything? Will you stop? Well, that's what's important, is that you don't stop. Because I'm going to stop someday. But the kneel will go on. So may I initiate our closing ceremony? May our intention equally extend to...

[76:29]

@Transcribed_v005
@Text_v005
@Score_90.29