We started this session with a story about an ancient teacher who was the leader of a community that lived at Earth Treasury Monastery. We call him by the name of that monastery, Earth Treasury Monastery. And he described his practice as fields and making rice to eat. Just in case we don't understand what or how this student of Dharma meant by planting the fields or just in case we didn't understand how while planting the fields there's an introduction and the introduction says

[01:27]

We patch-robed monks lazily watch at ox in an open field. We don't look at the auspicious, rootless grasses This describes a bodhisattva's meditation. Bodhisattvas are those who have made vows to help others, to help all others. They have vowed to understand that all others are themselves. that their true self is all the others of the universe, that all others are not separate from them.

[02:39]

And this understanding is called enlightenment. And this enlightenment, this understanding that all others are our true self, this is what helps others. in order to understand that they meditate all day long on the white ox in the open field they meditate on suchness they have this vow to help others and in order to realize that vow they meditate on suchness and as they meditate on suchness the process of salvation moves forward. In the midst of salvation and suchness, in meditating on suchness, beings are helped, liberated, and brought to peace.

[03:50]

So here he is, meditating on suchness. Someone comes to visit him and he says, Where you been? Suchness, he can still talk. No words reach suchness, but suchness can talk. It can say, Where are you coming from? And his visitor says, from the south. And he says, how's the Buddha? And his visitor, Xushan, says, lots of discussion and debate going on. And he says, how does that compare to me here? meditating on suchness, planting the fields, making rice.

[05:08]

How do you take care of the world? And Di Tsang, meditating on suchness, says, from the place Where no words reach comes the question, what's the world? Comes questions. In this case, what do you mean by the world? is going to go on pilgrimage, Ditsang asks them, what's the purpose of the pilgrimage? What's the suchness of the pilgrimage? What's the white cow in the empty field?

[06:18]

And Dharma Eyes says, don't know. And Ditsang says, that way is good. another version of the story or another pilgrimage, Fa Yan is about to depart Ditsang, and they walk to the gate. Ditsang points to a rock. Oh no, Ditsang says, I hear you talking about Mind only. Is this rock inside the mind or outside the mind? And Fa Yan says, inside. Di Tsang says, won't that be a big burden to carry this rock around in your mind on pilgrimage? Fa Yan puts down his traveling bags at the feet of treasure store.

[07:29]

and says, please clarify suchness with me. And they work day and night. He brings his meditation and understanding of suchness. He brings his understanding of suchness. He brings his understanding of the Buddhadharma to the Buddha. Earth Treasury. And the Bodhisattva Earth Treasury says, this is not Buddha Dharma. Finally, Dharma Eyes says, I have run out of words and ideas. And Earth Treasury says, when it comes to the Buddha Dharma, everything is manifesting it.

[08:37]

And Dharma eyes open. Two stories about the same practice. The bodhisattva's vow is to help all others and that all others are herself, her true self. Her meditation practice is to pay attention to the white ox in the open field. When people come, we're paying attention to the white ox in the open field in order to benefit all others. But sometimes what they say comes from the ox and we get caught up.

[09:43]

So we say, Here it is. Now you have it. Take care of it. It's right in front of you. This is it. Please take care of it." And then the poem goes on. It doesn't stop there. It says, by the way, if you get excited about this, you'll fall into a pit. And if you hesitate, filled with uncertainty and doubt, Another translation instead of, if you get excited about it, another translation is, if you dichotomize, you'll be filled with uncertainty. So these are two basic responses. One's touching, one's turning away. One's being hysterical and the other's being obsessive.

[11:08]

Something happens and you start washing your hands a lot or scratching your cheek or holding on to silence or tightening up. and you're filled with uncertainty, so let's obsess some more. The other way is being reactive, hysterical, excited, thinking about it. Either one of those are distractions from the job of the bodhisattva. The job is meditating on suchness. As I said earlier, Suzuki Rishi said, our practice is helping others and there's no special way.

[12:23]

Letting people know about our human nature and letting people know about our problems is a good way to help them. Sharing our problems, but also sharing our problems while we meditate on suchness, sharing our problems while we remember that our job when we have problems is helping others. So our job when we are helping others, when things arise, is to remember that our job is to help others. No matter who comes, no matter what they look like, remember your job is to help others. And also, this is the Buddhadharma that's coming. Whatever this is, is the embodiment of the Buddhadharma.

[13:28]

Whatever it is, no matter how horrible, it is coming to teach you the truth so that you can help others. For those on this path, everything is coming to show you the teaching wherein beings will be helped. Everything is coming to teach you yourself. And when you completely understand this, that's where beings are helped. So maybe I'll tell you some human things. Maybe I'll tell you, I'll let you know about some problems. So in Sashin, some people are sitting here thinking, what are we doing about the world sitting here?

[14:38]

And some other people are sitting here thinking, Why is being here so uncomfortable? Some people are sitting here and saying, I'm not so uncomfortable, but what about the people who are more uncomfortable than me? I'm not suffering so much. Who are suffering more than me? In this room? Or outside of this room? What am I doing about the people who are suffering more than me who are not here? And some other people are saying, why am I suffering so much? Somebody says, why does this have to be so painful? Why does this have to be so difficult? meditating on suchness, some people would feel like if anybody's suffering more than them, that's not right.

[15:53]

So they feel guilty that they're not suffering enough. Other people feel like they're suffering enough, and then they wonder why it has to be that way. Do we need suffering? No. Do we need pain? Yes. We need pain in order to be free of suffering. Do we have pain? Do we have enough? I don't know. So somebody might say, why is Zen so difficult?

[16:59]

Why is it so painful? Somebody came to a session in this hall one time a few years ago and she said, you didn't tell in the announcement of the session that it was painful. She said, you should tell people that it was actually interesting. It's kind of a selling point. Some other people say, don't tell people that it's painful. They might not come. Don't tell the bodhisattvas that the world's painful. They might not come. They want to help others. Don't tell them that it's going to be painful to do so. After they come, they can find out. Come and find out, they won't change their vows.

[18:03]

Why does the world have to be so painful? Does it have to be so painful? I don't know. If the world appears and it appears like a huge mass of flaming suffering, Can you say, does it have to be this hot without or turning away? If so, that question can just be put in the flames. Can you say, why does it have to be so painful without getting distracted from the flames? Then it's in accord with meditation on this mass of fire.

[19:25]

otherwise it's a temporary distraction and then in the middle of why does it have to be or does it have to be so painful so difficult right in the middle of that go to the middle of that question and where's the white ox in the open field bring that question Does it have to be so difficult to the middle and sit there with the Buddhas and watch the white ox grazing in the open field? Learn to not be distracted by the question, we're not suffering enough in this zendo. we should be suffering more because there's people outside this room who are suffering more than us.

[20:34]

The questions, the comment is fine. But a bodhisattva's job is not to get distracted by that question, is to listen to that question and keep your eye on the ox. And if somebody comes and tells you that you're not suffering enough, and keep your heart on the ox, grazing in the open field. Keep planting rice in the fields. The practitioners need it. for lunch. If you feel like you're suffering too much or this practice is too hard, same thing. Don't let that feeling distract you.

[21:46]

Don't touch that comment. Why does it have to be so painful? Don't turn away from that comment. Don't oppose that comment. Don't dichotomize. Remember, this comment is showing you yourself. And in this way, show people You work with problems. And if you get distracted from the practice of meditating on suchness for the welfare of the world, then just honestly say so. And when you say so, keep your eye on suchness when you And it doesn't stop you from feeling sorry that you got distracted. But while you're feeling sorry, keep your eye, keep your heart on the white ox.

[22:55]

That's the bodhisattva's job description. That's not their vow. Well, it's part of their vow. Their vow is to meditate on reality in order to help others. Their vow is by realizing the truth. Because in helping others, the truth is realized. The Buddha's truth is embodied in everything, but we have an upright orientation which includes all bodhisattva training activities. When I first saw pictures of Zen bodhisattvas I was attracted to learn how to be like them but I had no idea how that could happen.

[24:25]

Then I heard they had a training method so I tried it and it was not too painful. But that's because I just did it I was comfortable, or whenever it was convenient, or whenever I remembered. When I forgot to do it, I didn't, and that was fine, except it wasn't, because I thought, well, maybe they do it on a regular basis. It occurred to me that maybe they do it all the time, that actually they have continuity in the practice They can behave in such wonderfully compassionate ways because they understand the truth and they can understand the truth because they are meditating on it. And how do they meditate on it? They look at it in everything and everybody they meet.

[25:29]

But anyway, I had the understanding that it would be good to meditate more than once a week. But that's hard for most people. Somehow the idea arose that if there was a place where people got together on a daily basis to meditate, maybe, it would help me to do this thing which would help realize the bodhisattva way of helping others. So I went to San Francisco and practicing with other people did help me practice regularly. And then, with their help, the practice got hard.

[26:35]

But I wasn't expecting So I just struggled with the difficulty of it. And in the early times when I was there in San Francisco practicing sitting with the group sitting enough to to have some difficulty. If I sat for two minutes, I had no difficulty. If I sat for five minutes, I had no difficulty. But if I sat several hours, I did. I had so many difficulties it was hard for me to pay attention to the difficulty.

[27:41]

And it was hard for me to pay attention to the difficulty without turning away or touching it. I had no idea at that time that the difficulty was the Buddhadharma. Nobody told me. I didn't hear Siddhartha. If any of you are having difficulty, that's the Buddhadharma there. He didn't hear him say that. Maybe he did. I didn't hear it. I thought the training was sit and pay attention and follow your breathing. And I tried. And I went to see him and I said, if I sit with both my legs crossed, it's like there's screaming going on. And pay attention to my breathing. But if I sit with only one of my legs crossed, the screaming is more quiet.

[28:49]

It's not even screaming. It's kind of quiet and peaceful. And then I can pay attention to my breathing. And he says, oh, oh, oh. He didn't really say that. He just said, oh, just one time. Oh, maybe for you, crossing both legs is good. Now I would say, he was saying, maybe for you it would be good to cross both leggeds so that you can understand that the screaming embodies the Buddhadharma. He didn't say that. But it looks like I thought, oh, well, sitting upright, taking care of your posture, following your breathing, paying attention to that is Buddhadharma. Well, I was right. It is.

[29:51]

Buddhadharma is right there when you're sitting upright, following your breathing. Your breathing is an embodiment of the Buddhadharma. Your paying attention to it is an embodiment. And then you're paying attention to the teaching that this is an embodiment of Buddhadharma. This is the practice of bodhisattvas. This is suchness. This is suchness. Now we have it. Here it is. Here it is. That's what Di Sang says. This is it. Here it is. I don't have much to say. This is it. Me not having much to say. It's it. He wanted me to see that the Buddha Dham wasn't just when I was calmly sitting, it was also when there was screaming.

[30:54]

The screaming went on and I did a little work with it. Then after a while, the screaming quieted down. And I didn't think I didn't know that the screaming and quieting down, that the Buddha Dharma was there too. I thought, well, maybe I'm off track now that things are calm. So I went to him and I said, things have gotten easy. Am I missing something? I wasn't so much thinking things have gotten easy and what about the suffering throughout the world of other people. I just thought in some kind of denial because it was not difficult anymore.

[32:06]

And he said, well maybe for you the practice is not going to be hard now for a while. And I think that on that occasion, or in the close proximity of that occasion, he took a piece of paper and folded it over and said, when we do origami, when we fold the paper and make the crease, after that we press on it for a while. Folding it's kind of hard. to get the fold right and then to press it correctly. It's quite somewhat difficult.

[33:09]

But that's not all of it. Then you actually spend some time just sitting on it. And at that time the practice is kind of easy until the next fold. we don't have Triple Lotus at Zen Center. So a couple days later I was invited by the Zen Center board to be the director of the city center. I was at Tassajara When I asked the Sikoreshi, and a couple days later at Tassajara, there was a board meeting, and they asked me to leave Tassajara and go to the city center to be the director.

[34:13]

And I went to the Sikoreshi and I said, the next fold has come. They're not in control of the world. They're not in control of the suffering. They're not in control of your suffering. When we have these sessions, the Buddhas are not in control of how hard it is for you. They're not trying to make it really hard. And if it's trying to make it not really hard, that's not their job. The whole universe is making it hard for you. or not so hard, and harder for other people. The whole universe is making other people suffer more than you, and you suffer more than other people.

[35:21]

And the Buddhas are not in control of the universe. The Buddhas have discovered the true nature of the universe because they want to help all the beings who live in the universe. Finding this true nature, they have said, is the way to help people. So whatever the level of suffering locally and internationally is, in the midst of all that suffering with these various landscapes of suffering, the Bodhisattva's vow is to help all the beings in the universe to freedom and peace. The job, that's their vow, and the way to do it is to pay attention to the way that everything that they see is the Buddhadharma.

[36:32]

I don't know why Siddhartha Krishna didn't make some of these points clear to me, but, and verbally, but he showed me by his practice, the way he dealt with his suffering, showed me his attempt to meditate on the way things are while he suffered. He had, I shouldn't say suffered, I don't know if he suffered, but he had physical pain. He had physical pain and he had physical pain. I never heard him say, I'm not suffering enough. And I never heard him say, I'm suffering too much. I just heard him say, I feel like I'm being tortured. But it wasn't a complaint. I didn't feel. And I really felt that the way he was dealing with his pain was showing me how to deal with mine.

[37:56]

Mine that was less than his, or mine that was less than his. One day he was giving a talk and it was the talk had been going on, I think I somehow kept track of the time. It had been going on for one hour and 45 minutes. And then he opened and I asked a question. My question was, is the suffering of the Zen master and the suffering of the Zen student the same? And he said, yes, even though he was standing up and looking really comfortable. He looked really comfortable. And I wondered, is his suffering the same as mine? I was sitting with my legs crossed for an hour and 45 minutes, and I was uncomfortable. He was standing up at the blackboard, teaching.

[38:59]

Comfortable. I wanted to know, is your suffering the same as mine? And he said, yes. He didn't say, your suffering is my suffering. He just said, yes. And I was encouraged by that. Then later, liver cancer, and I didn't. I didn't feel like, why don't I have liver cancer? I didn't feel that way. I didn't feel ashamed that I didn't have liver cancer. I just wanted to watch how he practiced. And he showed me, he let me see how he dealt with his problems. I wasn't measuring whether he was keeping his eye on suchness.

[40:04]

I just watched how he tried. I have confidence that he was trying to keep his mind on the white ox in the open field. I don't know if he got distracted, but like I say, I never heard him say, I'm not suffering enough, or why am I suffering so much? He just, I don't know what he did, but he looked like he was using this opportunity

[41:10]

of being in his late 60s with cancer opportunity for meditating on the Buddha Dharma. And I feel like he was happy that I was watching him. how he dealt with his problems. Now we have a chance to show each other how to deal with our problems. We have a chance to show others how we meditate on the Buddha Dharma in the midst of our problems.

[42:14]

We have a chance to watch. Are we not turning away or touching the suchness of this pain? Are we able to not be hysterical or obsessive about this difficulty? If so, how wonderful that would be, and how instructive that would be, how that would help others learn the same practice and realize the same enlightenment as all the Buddhas. Is that a good place to stop? May our intention equally...

[43:38]

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