over and over again we say, now all Buddhas and all ancestors who uphold Buddha Dharma have made it the true path of enlightenment. In the midst of self receiving and employing samadhi, The proposal is all those who care for and take care of and uphold the Buddha Dharma, the Buddhas and ancestors, they make it the true path to sit upright or to be upright in the midst of receiving a self and giving a self.

[01:15]

receiving and giving a self. Receiving a self that thinks and giving a self that thinks. That thinks of stories of friendship and giving a self. that has stories of friendship receiving a self that has stories of unfriendliness and and horror receiving such a self and giving such a self receiving whatever self and giving whatever self receiving a self that speaks and giving a self that speaks, receiving a self that has postures and giving a self that has postures.

[02:28]

In this way, this is the seal. This is the seal that is on all Buddha's minds. is the awareness of receiving and giving self. The awareness of how we receive from all beings, from our relationship with all beings, and give this life in relationship with all beings. This is the Buddhist seal. To be aware in the moment of receiving the support of all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas and giving support to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. To receiving support from all beings and giving support to all beings.

[03:37]

Understanding and being aware that this is the kind of self we have. And I was just thinking a while ago that, what's it, Nang Chuan, actually Nang Chuan's teacher taught him this, that normal mind, and sometimes it's called everyday mind, is the true path, is the way. The normal mind is the way. And the normal mind is actually a manifestation of peaceful, constant mind or peaceful, yeah, normal mind.

[04:48]

The peaceful, normal mind is actually the mind of receiving and giving. That is the way. And Nan Xuan heard this teaching from his teacher, Man Su, and Man Su told it to Jiao Jiao. And Jiao Jiao said, well, should we, how can I aim at it? How can I orient towards this peaceful, normal mind? How can I orient towards the awareness of self-receiving and self-giving. And Nan Chuan says, if you turn towards it, you turn away from it. And Zhao Zhou said, well then, how will I know if I'm, how will I know if I'm right or not?

[05:58]

And Anjuan said, knowing is delusion, not knowing is unconsciousness. This way has nothing to do with knowing and not knowing, or right or wrong. When this Buddha seal is expressed in our actions of body, speech and mind, at that time the entire universe is also impressed with this seal or becomes this seal together with us.

[07:10]

and then the world turns into enlightenment. In this mode we enter into the turning of the unsurpassably great Dharma wheel, which has nothing to do with our intention. it's entirely unfabricated. And in this path, along this path, things returns to the one whose actions of body, speech and mind are impressed by this giving and receiving. that expresses this Buddha seal which is impressed upon the whole universe and then the enlightenment of all things returns to the person and the person you or me together with all beings mutually realize the way and this

[08:43]

All this occurs however in a realm that is not mixed with perception. Again, it has nothing to do with knowing or not knowing. and it is unconstructedness in stillness. We are sitting upright in unconstructedness in stillness. We are sitting upright in unfabricated ordinary mind. We're sitting upright in immediate realization. We're sitting in a stillness in which all beings are supporting each other.

[09:58]

And in this room we do a ceremony of sitting together with other people as the opportunity to join the ceremony. Each of us has the opportunity to express the Buddha's seal. in all of our actions moment by moment. And this way we enact the true path of enlightenment in this room ceremonially. And there is no separation

[12:03]

between the ceremonial enactment of the bond between all beings and the bond among all beings. And there's no separation between beings who are not performing, who are not performing the ceremony of self-receiving and self-giving. There's no difference between those beings who are enacting this awareness and those who are not enacting it ceremonially. We are intimately related to all beings, including those who are not doing the ceremony of receiving and giving.

[13:07]

But those who do not do the ceremony to enact this reality do not realize it. And those who do can realize it. Not by themselves, but by the ceremony. And they can show others also how to do the ceremony or a ceremony of enacting the Buddha way. And once again, every action of body, speech and mind is welcome to be expressing or impressed by this Buddha mind.

[14:30]

And every action that is given to, offered as, accepted as, expressing this, does not realize it. There must be for the realization of it. because the practice is the realization of it. The practice is the realization of the reality of our actual relationship with all beings. And again the forms can vary, but whatever form it is, is dedicated to actuality.

[15:38]

is given as an opportunity to enact, perform reality. A way that directly indicates and celebrates reality. celebrate this ordinary normal mind, this normal mind, the thoroughly established constant mind of receiving and giving. The monk says, in the spring the hundred grasses

[16:47]

In autumn, the moon. In summer, cool breezes. In winter, snow. When no idle affairs hang around. it is a good season in the human world. Idle affairs hanging around the mind, I guess that's like my thinking, ungiven. My thinking unreceived. My thinking undonated, uncelebrated, unpracticed.

[18:02]

My thinking hanging around my mind. From what I've seen in the past, I guess that today each of us will dream many dreams, will have many stories arise in our mind about our relationship with each other.

[19:12]

I wonder if we can express the Buddha's seal in every story. I wonder if we can be generous and gracious with every story that arises in our mind. if we can be upright with every story that arises in our mind. I wonder if I can be. When I am upright and gracious with stories that arise in my mind, sometimes that's the way it is I don't say I'm wasting my time I also don't say I'm not wasting my time

[20:59]

But I am filled with joy of having correct faith in the Buddha Dharma. And if I can't be gracious with the actions of body, speech and mind that arise here, I don't necessarily say it. I just try to face it and confess that I missed an opportunity

[22:09]

to enjoy the gift of this state that makes me in the gift of me that makes this state. I try to face that. And when I do, I usually go back to do what I think is Buddha work. to use your life to express the Buddha seal. You've got a life, you're constantly active, you have gifts to give, How's this?

[24:14]

Could people in the back hear me? I finally, today I've understood a little bit about what you were saying. The first few days, I just didn't get it at all. But I'm beginning to think that the reason ...wasn't getting it and I was having trouble following the schedule and always having this effort that I thought I was very cleverly doing. Raise your hands if you can't hear her. Oh dear, okay. Just hold it maybe closer. How's that? Is that a bit better? Okay. Okay, so... She was having trouble following the schedule. Have you heard about that? I even tried to put brown sugar in my poor yoke bowl because I couldn't stand the taste, I thought.

[25:25]

And then I thought, well, that won't kill me, but... Did you bring brown sugar into the Zendo with you? It was very clever. I had it in the bottom... of my big the bigger dish so it was hidden right but astrid was very she is and she picked it up and i was really mad at that right i was really angry because i thought it was so clever and i've been doing this my whole life i believe um I really feel that I see or grasp the feeling or the philosophy of Zen Buddhism. And I was thinking, why do I fight it all the time? And I've done this my whole life in different aspects. Is this still okay? Different aspects of my life. And I thought, I'm afraid. Let go of that. I've been thinking while... I've been here that it's organized religion, I'm being brainwashed, if I jump into the fold of doing the schedule and eating the food that I'm going to lose myself.

[26:35]

How can I get... I don't want to be kind of a born feeling, which truly is what if I followed the whole schedule and put an effort into understanding a lot of what you say. I mean, that's probably not all, but it's so clear with the help of our been able to see. She kind of drags me into the schedule. And I think, why am I fighting this? This is what I want, you know? So it's fear, I think, and I look back and I think there's that hole in the ground that I'm walking and I can see in a way. I see what's right, but I can see the other side. I can see what you're talking about. And I want to do that. I want to help people. I want to get better at it, more skillful. And there's people here that I really like, everybody here that always spends money.

[27:39]

...coming to the practices. But I'm afraid again of that hole. But why am I afraid of a hole that's just in between me and what I want? Is that okay? Did you get... I didn't want to be waving this. So I found problems, money or friendships or family are based on fear of me losing myself if I... join into it. And so I intellectualize or whatever I do to compensate. And I wondered if you could comment on that. Well, one is I would encourage you to give yourself more to the performance of the ceremony rather than giving yourself to thinking about how come you're not doing it. and try to figure out what you're afraid of.

[28:44]

You know, we can make up stories about what you're afraid of, but I think you probably will make up stories about what you're afraid of, and that's fine, but while you're making up stories of being afraid and what might happen to you or what you might be afraid of, while you're doing that, try to give yourself to the performance of this ceremony of... practicing together with everybody and coming into the zendo with them and leaving the zendo with them and eating what's offering. Try to do those ceremonies as expressions of this thing which you think in one sense you want to enact, but at the same time you're a little bit afraid of what might happen. I would say give it a wholehearted try rather than try to figure out what you're afraid of dangling idle thoughts that you were talking about I thought there they are you know there's that they just do they hang around and they're stopping me in a sense from if you perform this ceremony wholeheartedly they won't hang they won't hang there they'll flow with all this giving you're giving yourself to the process you're receiving support as you enter this giving and receiving these thoughts will not hang anymore

[30:10]

And then there'll be, you know, spring in December. Or rather, I should say, rain on the roof. He's idling thoughts away. Who am I? It's not so much that you can give them away, but also that you give yourself. And as you give yourself, you realize that you're being given a self. And you will continue to be given a self. You don't have You don't have to maintain the self. You have to give away the self. You have to give away the self. And here's an exercise, a place you can give it in a situation that's actually pretty safe to learn how to give yourself moment by moment. If you fall down, we'll be with you. If you stand up, we'll be with you. And you can see that we'll be with you. But if you hold back and we're with you, you may think we're with you because you held back.

[31:19]

That you're holding back kept us under control. That's right, it does, absolutely. Control is a big thing. So you've got us under control, but not really. We're giving ourselves to you, you're not controlling us. So if you start giving yourself to the enactment of this testimony that we're doing here, you'll start to realize that you are supported and you'll also start to see how you're supporting everybody else. The more you see either one of them, the more you see the other one. But it's hard to give yourself completely and behold. Sorry, I didn't understand. It's hard to give yourself completely and be wholehearted. A lot of people are having trouble being wholehearted. At the same time, everybody's being really wholehearted. But if you don't practice it, you don't see it for yourself. Xiao Zhou's tea is delicious, really.

[32:24]

But you've got to stop and drink it without any additives. or attitude. You know, I always thought in a way that I as a physical therapist and doing those concrete things or letting somebody who's older than I am go through the door first or, you know, brushing my teeth was sort of, but now I think I'm getting a glimmer that it's a little bit But that's OK. It kind of gives me a frame of reference. But I want more, so I need more. My hand is sweaty clasping this microphone. Thank you very much. OK. There is the alcohol. We should have a hand sanitizer. I have a couple stories that I'd like to share, if that would be okay.

[33:53]

Can everybody hear me? The first story, I guess, is kind of that I've had a lot of resistance to have questions and to come forth with my questions, I think partially due to a kind of nervousness or anxiety. But it doesn't seem to be a nervousness that's like I'm afraid of what everyone in the Zendo would think or afraid of some... Is it still on? Afraid of some retribution. Try to hold it steady. Don't keep moving it close. Don't move it backward and forward. It's physical nervousness. Like right now, I can feel that my face is warmer than it was when I was sitting there. And there's kind of a tremble in my voice. And there's kind of a heightened sense of all these activities in my body.

[34:56]

And it seems almost as if my body doesn't want me to get up out of my seat and come ask a question. The other part seems to be a resistance to the questions in general, as if the questions, almost as if my question is to kind of reconfirm my own convictions. Have you ever been in a situation where you've asked a question that maybe you already knew the answer to? Where I thought I knew the answer to it? Mm-hmm. I asked a question and that's how I knew the answer to. But you asked to reconfirm here. Yeah, I think so. And I guess to a certain extent it feels like that almost as if my asking a question would just verify the sense of self that I already have.

[35:57]

So it makes me ask questions altogether and resist this this notion of a self at all because I don't want to express it in a way because I feel as though it's just verifying my perception of it. So you feel that you perceive a self? Is that what you're saying? And you don't want a perception of yourself? No, it seems almost as if my thoughts want to, they want some static view of what this is or what's going on. It wants something to hold on to. Uh-huh, yeah.

[36:59]

But then it immediately comes up and says, wait, you shouldn't do that. And then, you know, it's like this constant thought. So you sense something in your thinking process where you sense a kind of grasping tendency, and then you also have some value that you shouldn't be having a grasping tendency? But then the idea pops up that maybe the question is already the answer, like it's Just the arising of the question is itself kind of the activity. But then again, that feels like... So I've had this resistance to getting up in front of people and asking questions because I feel like instead of sitting back and listening to everyone else and kind of receiving it, that I'm trying to put too much on it. And so now you've come up here and you've expressed yourself.

[38:06]

How did it go? How's it going? I guess I feel better. My face isn't hot anymore. And did you... Did it feel like a gift? Well, it was a gift, but do you think it was a gift? I think it was a gift. I saw a gift. Did you see a gift? I didn't see it, but I can take your word for it that it was a gift. Do you want it to be? Yes. The second story that I would like to share takes me back to, I think, the summer after my eighth grade year, 11 years ago. And I was with my mom and trying to decide the schedule for the year.

[39:07]

You had to pick a fine art. So the fine arts were music. I think all the fine arts, maybe there were a few art classes, but most of them were music. So you either had to play the trumpet or the cello or join the choir. And all my friends were in the choir, so I thought, oh, I'll join the choir. So we get through, I don't know, half the year, and the choir teacher, Miss Mims, decides that there's problems in the choir. Things aren't going so well, so Miss Mims decides to mic up each of us, pairs at a time. And so it came to be my turn, and I sang into the microphone like I normally did, and we sang a song that we'd been singing since the beginning of the year. And about a week later, and I think that I had almost completely forgotten that we had done this, about a week later, she said, Jake, will you stay?

[40:14]

After class, I need to talk to you. I said, okay. So I said, yeah, there's something that I need to talk to you about. And You know, then I had no idea kind of what she was getting at. But now it's like I feel bad for her because she was trying to be so sweet in telling me that I couldn't sing. But she said, yeah, you know, I just wanted to talk to you about this. And I said, well, what can I do? And she said, well, there's, you know, there's study hall. Yeah. And I said, well, what do you do in study hall? And she said, well, not too much. And I said, that sounds pretty good. It's kind of the beginning of my laziness. But I bring that up because I'd like actually to sing a song or to sing you a song. Because I feel like this is maybe the safest environment that I've ever been in and this is the only time besides that other time on this end of a microphone.

[41:22]

So I thought maybe since I developed the courage enough to come up here today that I would just sing this song. And actually you encouraged me to sing this song because every time I've seen you sing, you've sang a Louis Armstrong song. And I just thought it was so amazing that such a soft-spoken man picked Louis Armstrong to sing because he has such a deep baritone voice. And I was so impressed that you didn't try to mimic that. You just kind of sang it with your own voice in a very tender way. I was just so impressed by that. And I really love Louis Armstrong. I once tried to sing my girlfriend a Louis Armstrong song. But I tried to mimic his voice. And she didn't like it so much. I think she thought that I... Marlon Brando is a godfather or something. You know that song, the New Orleans Stomp?

[42:27]

I was like... New Orleans, the land of beautiful queens. And she didn't like it. So I thought maybe that I could sing a song with my own voice today in front of all of you. And thank you for allowing me to open up this much. So here goes. Where does the old-time river man go after he's gone away? Does his soul still keep a watch on the deep for the rest of the river's day? And come back as a channel cat Or a wasp, the light on the wheel Or the birds that fly through the summer sky Or the fish swimming under the keel Where does an old-time pilot go After he's stood his last watch

[43:50]

Does he fall by the ear of the man who steers? Saying, hold it on that edge. There's a gentle sneeze on the river breeze. Saying, son, I'm going to bed. And they're lighting their pipes and go off in the night. Or is that just fireflies dead? Where does an old-time engineer go after he's cooled her down? He's gone up the hill to never come back from the quiet of town. Does his soul live on in the engine song as the strocker checks the gear?

[44:52]

Or is he still afloat on an old steamboat after he's gone from here? Or is he still afloat on an old steamboat after he's gone from here? I actually have this idea now. Is it okay? I actually have this idea now that maybe we could all sing a song together in light of this being a practice of all beings. And also in light that I think this is Tenshin Roshi's 40th anniversary at Zen Center. Is that right? The fall of 67. So I thought maybe we could sing this song. It's actually by the same person that I just sang. It's a John Hartford song. But this song is a little bit more of like a southern soul type song.

[45:58]

So pretty much split in half perfectly. So like this side, this side will go, your stuff, your stuff. I can't get enough of your stuff. This is everybody, but on this, your stuff, your stuff. So I can't really do that. My voice doesn't allow me to. Maybe somebody else with a good voice, maybe. Meg, can you illustrate that as an example? The stuff, like there's like a... Yo stuff yo stuff Okay, so anyway, there's a you know, it goes down So you don't want to think about proper English in this song because it's kind of a southern song So it's more like it's not your stuff. It's more like yo stuff Yo stuff yo stuff

[47:03]

I can't get enough of your stuff, your stuff, your stuff. I can't get enough of your stuff, your stuff, your stuff. I can't get enough of your stuff. So you guys on the left, you got that part? Or on your right? And on the right side. It goes, baby, wanna get your stuff? So there's a lot of hip activity in that. It's like a slide at the end. So baby, wanna get your stuff? So they go, your stuff, your stuff. And right when they say that, you go, hey, baby, wanna get your stuff? So let's practice just that. Hey, baby, want to get your stuff? Hey, baby, want to get your stuff? Hey, baby, want to get your stuff?

[48:04]

All right, so let's try it together now. All right, so there's actually three parts to the song. So there'll be this part and that part. So you guys got to be really strong because my part is going to be kind of weak. So I kind of forgot the part or the words to the third part. So your stuff, your stuff. Okay, maybe we'll let them do it like twice or something by themselves, and then we'll come in on the right side. Your stuff, your stuff. I can't get enough of you. Your stuff, your stuff. I can't get enough of your stuff. Your stuff, your stuff. I can't get enough of your stuff. How are they doing? okay um you need to direct the one to come in okay i'm sorry direct to them when they come in i'm bad at this so i'm sorry okay so your stuff your stuff right then the second stuff hey baby wanna get your stuff okay stuff your stuff

[49:23]

Instead of it being two separate parts, we want to make it all the same part. So basically what's going to happen, there's this part and this part, and then I'm going to come in with a different part that kind of plays. The rhythms of both of them, so. Your stuff, your stuff. I can't get enough of your stuff. Your stuff, your stuff. Can't get enough of your stuff. All right. This is going to work. Okay. What's that? One more time. And then that'll be enough. okay well maybe thank you all i think that was what's that well but my part i'm not i'm not finding my part because there has to be yeah i can't maybe you you can stop doing the two parts let them do it okay and then when they get it if they get it together you can join them I have a suggestion.

[50:45]

Maybe instead of the second stuff, start on the first stuff. Because it's like they're saying stuff, and instead of starting simultaneously, there's like a pause. So try it one more time. You will always love, you will always love [...] I need you and I love you and I want you but I try to stay away from you cause if I don't I appreciated very much what you said about giving and receiving a self.

[52:18]

I understood that as boundless generosity. And then you said, receiving whatever self and giving whatever self. And I understood that. And I understand how one can try to receive whatever self and one can give whatever self to Buddha. I'm not sure I understand how one can take a self of anger and horror and violence and give that to another being. And so I have some confusion because I thought that the way that I understand this practice has to do with cleaning the world or polishing it by receiving whatever, somehow giving whatever anger or violent response we may have to...

[53:39]

but transmitting to another person tenderness and kind of great uncompromised stillness. So perhaps you could help me. Okay. So let's say I receive an angry self. a self-awareness story of a story that of someone being cruel to me or to someone else and even there's some rising towards this person in this story. And I received this story. Now, how do I give this story away is your question? What's the way of giving that away? Well, I have One can give it to Buddha, but how does one give that story to another being?

[54:46]

Well, if you give the story to Buddha, if you make it as offering to Buddha, ordinarily that would be offering, in this case, that would be offering a confession of an unskillful story. So you would be confessing, you would see the story as an unskillful story, a story of unhappiness. a story of you feeling ill-will towards beings. And you would confess this to the Buddhas in that it would be a gift, an offering, and it would also be an offering of confessing a shortcoming and wishing the Buddha to witness your offering and hear your confession. This also is to give it to other beings because you know your confession to the buddhas will help you see their merits and see their virtues so it's offered as a confession in this case that particular example i see that so you could so you could and and but doesn't mean you literally tell a child for example you might not tell a child because it may too too complicated for them to hear

[55:59]

of some ill will might be too frightening for them. But if I confess to you or some other adult my shortcoming, it's really also a gift to the children of the world. At the same time, I mean it that way, but they're mature enough to be a confessor, to hear the confession, you know, literally. but they feel the impact of my willingness to show my shortcomings, and they feel it most directly, they feel it in my appreciation of them, which I'm open to by this practice. I have another question on that. When the sutras talk about falling away of body and mind, are they talking about a thought of body and mind and a feeling of body and mind as somehow from the great unformed stillness, or am I missing the point?

[57:08]

I think dropping away body and mind means, again, that it's not hanging around. It's not? It's not hanging around. It's not hanging. It's not a hanging, lurking, lingering body and mind. So giving any self and receiving any self is falling away body and mind. Exactly. We receive from... We open to the reception of the enlightenment of all. And that passes through us, out of us, and this keeps things clear. And that's how we together... I don't drop body and mind myself. I do it with everybody. At the same time, if I won't let everybody in, that's the same as not dropping body and mind. I have to open to the enlightenment of all beings and that is the same as dropping body and mind. So this morning I ate a walnut and if I also ate the tree and the branches and the roots and the leaves

[58:19]

and the sea and sun and air, is that falling away body and mind? Yeah. And actually you are doing that every time you eat a walnut. But unless you enact that in a small version of it, like you just said, a small version of it, we could go on. But you did a small version of it in your little demonstration of the ritual of receiving the enlightenment of all beings. Then you realize it. I want to say that I felt really invigorated by the musical performance, and I appreciated that very much. Very many things this week that I've appreciated, but it really awakened me enough to get me to come up here.

[59:28]

So thank you. And my question for Reb is, how do you feel, really, when a young whippersnapper like that comes up here and cuts into your act? Do you feel anything like a little twinge of male rivalry? Or are you beyond those feelings? I am, fortunately, way, way beyond. You're quivering. And I think being a grandfather really helps that now I can see, my eyes are more open to see that this is my act that he's doing. This is my offspring. This is my continuation of my practice whenever anybody gives anything here.

[60:31]

When Pat does, when Peter does, when you do, when Jake does, this is my act. My act is no longer I just set the table for a feast of me. And so there's no interruption of my act. That's the Buddhist seal. And many beings have helped me so that everyone is my dear, my dear, you know, body. I do sometimes wonder if I'm okay with the show being out of control. I read somewhere that there is a very small sect of Buddhists who meditate on receiving the suffering of the world.

[61:47]

Is this true? And if it is, I wondered if you knew more about them. I'm just curious. I think actually that the sect, you can call it a sect if you want to, but anyway, the ocean of beings who are devoted to receiving the suffering of the world, it's very big. Same as Buddhism. Buddhism is the receiving of the suffering of the world. That's what it's all about. So it's not a particular group of living people? A group of living people might say, we are now, we have established a sect and we do this. They might say that. That they're totally included in the ocean of the Buddha Dharma. Because the ocean of Buddha Dharma is all about receiving the suffering of all beings. That's what it's about.

[62:51]

If we don't open to the suffering of all beings, we don't open to the enlightenment of all beings. And the path is that the enlightenment of all beings comes and works with us. But the suffering of all beings comes with the enlightenment of all beings. Suffering people are also involved in the process of enlightenment. They are excluded. And if we close to any form of suffering, we close to the enlightenment of that suffering person. That person has an enlightenment, an enlightened activity, just like a person who is at ease and free of suffering and who voluntarily dives into the ocean of suffering and opens to it. Some people do not voluntarily open to it. to suffering they don't open to it and they suffer but the problem is by not being open to suffering but they close to enlightenment which is knocking on the door but suffering is knocking on the door too especially if it's knocking on the door of people who are calm and at ease

[64:19]

And if someone's calm and at ease and closes the door on suffering, they close the door on enlightenment, which comes to them by receiving all beings and dealing with them in a calm, tender, honest way. It's a big group. It's not a little group. But within the big group, it's allowed. Little groups are allowed No, we don't say you can't have any little groups. You can start a little group yourself. Well, you don't have to be in a big group. Thank you very much. You're welcome. I feel very grateful to be receiving and giving yourself and all of yourself.

[65:55]

One thing I noticed when I intentionalized making an offering of all my actions to all beings, that there's a tendency then to make a story of that. You know what I mean? Offering... There is a tendency to make a story about that. And we should graciously receive the gift of the tendency to make stories. It's natural, it's normal, it's part of the beauty of human life, is that we're story makers. In this great activity of story making. Now that we've got the stories, let's take care of them. Offer them? Offer them? Yeah. Make them gifts graciously. give them up give them to others it's stuck in them because the problem is the stories have the consequence of causing obstruction if we don't care for them properly even good stories if we don't care for them like our precious friends and children they have the consequence of obstruct openness

[67:21]

to beings and to enlightenment. So stories are an opportunity to practice. And if we miss the opportunity of practicing with them, there's obstructing consequence. And since we have... there's some obstruction, so we have to accept that and be gracious with the obstruction, too. But to care for them, like our dear friends and children, is to offer these stories, to notice them and offer them to Buddha, offer them to all beings. Offer them and receive them. Receive them as gifts and offer them as gifts. To see them as gifts, to say, welcome, welcome story. I know you're coming anyway, but anyway, welcome. Let them come and I'll... I let you go, because I know you have to go, like all things.

[68:24]

You don't come to me and I don't keep you, story. And matter of fact, if I'm gentle with you and upright with you, I notice that I don't have to send you any place, you go. And I join your going and make your going my gift giving. So, might as well be a gift. I'm going, I might as well be a gift, rather than I just keep losing myself. Yeah, lose myself, dash, give myself, give myself, give myself, receive myself. But not just receive myself, but thank you, welcome, and bye-bye. As a gift to... So that's the process, the continual process of reality is receiving and giving, receiving and giving. and being upright and balanced so you can watch the process. Because if you get off balance, you kind of get concerned with yourself around the wonderful process, which is actually not moving. So that's why you need to be upright and gentle and flexible with this process.

[69:30]

Otherwise you think it's just going to throw you all over the place and you get scared and stuff. I have a story I'd like to offer you, but I've been holding onto it because I don't know how it ends, and I kind of wanted to wait until I had the whole thing. I still don't know how it ends, but I'm hoping maybe you can help me finish it. Or maybe we just have installments. Don Quixote was produced like that.

[70:32]

But before I even figure out how it ends, what should I give away in an unfinished story? Do you want it? Can I give it to you like that? Or do you want me to finish it first? Definitely. Okay. How do I do that? And also, I already heard you invite me to help you finish it. So if I want to, maybe I could offer a finishing. Well, I just thought of that part. But I've been sitting for, you know, with this unfinished thing. Then I realized maybe you can help me finish it. But how do you get rid of a story? I mean, not get rid of it. Ah, you got that right. Let go of or share. Again, if you... Hold it gently and graciously. Yeah, hold it gently and graciously. Be upright with it. Be peaceful with it. It goes. And you maybe say, okay, I'm peaceful and gentle with it. Now, when's it going to go? Well, I didn't want it to go. I wanted to finish it first. I thought you said, how do you get rid of it? How do you let go of it?

[71:34]

So if you want to finish it first before it goes, then you're not ready to get rid of it. Is that okay? That's a story which I would be gracious with. I would accept that you don't want to give this story away yet until it's finished. But that's another story. I feel a responsibility for finishing. I let go of it. Yeah, I understand that. I heard that one. Okay, well, on with the story. My story is that, well, much of what you say is useful in everyday life. if not all of it. As opposed to just sitting here on a cushion life, but the worldly affairs life. Yes, closer to my mouth.

[72:36]

Got it. So my story is that... that I'll figure out how to do this Zen thing and be able to take it with me and go back to just doing everything else in my life, my recreation, and that it's something I can take with me. So I've been waiting for years trying to figure out how to get that completed so I can take it with me. And I think I'm realizing now, right now, that actually this story doesn't end, which is why I haven't been able to finish it. And so I offer it to you like that and to myself and everybody.

[73:45]

Yeah, there's no end to this story. This is a story about no end to this story, in which you give away all the other stories. But this one, you know, and this one you can give away too, every moment. There's no end to it. And you can't take Zen with you. But it comes to you every moment. Like we say, if you open your hand, it fills your hand. If you try to hold on to it, you lose it. So don't take Zen with you. It'll come with you out the door. Thank you. Arlene, do we have time?

[74:46]

Yes. Yeah. You're welcome. Closer. I would like to know more about Jiaxiu's cup of tea. Is it Jiaxiu? Jiaxiu? Jiaxiu. Yeah. Every time I want to know more about John Joe's cup of tea, and so that our tea can be his tea. What was he offering to the monks beside tea itself? Anything? Or is that enough? Pardon? Is the tea enough? what am I going to say to you?

[75:49]

I don't know. Okay, now what am I going to say to you? Guess. No, I don't want you to guess. I want you to tell me what I'm going to say to you. I can guess that you're going to say this is an inappropriate question in some way. Okay, now I'm going to You are pretending to be the slowest student, right? I'm not pretending to be a slow student. You're not? No. What are you pretending to be? I don't know if I have a story, but I'll try to find one. Okay. Before you say, I'm going to ask the other people what I'm going to say to you, okay? Okay. Please. And they're going to tell you what I'm going to say to you in response to your question, okay? I would be grateful to hear that.

[76:55]

So tell her what I'm going to say. So is that the only answer? Pardon? Is that the only answer that I can receive at this moment? Is that the only answer? Yeah. No, it's not the only answer. It is the answer, not the only answer. You want another one? By the way, it was an appropriate question. Can I have the thing back now? If you insist. I don't insist, but I'm just saying, can I have it back? Would you give me the thing? I don't insist. May I say one more thing? Of course. This must be a koan, in which I now... Can you say, it must be a koan? It must be. No, you're right, it is. It is a koan. It's all the koan... of Zhao Zhou's tea. It's a tea koan. So that's why I can't have an answer, because it's up to me.

[77:56]

You did get an answer. You got the answer that was given. It still applies, and we serve tea here at $3.50. And so, at that time, with the community, you can drink tea. And that's what Zhao Zhou gave to the monks. Not the tea. He didn't give him the tea. He gave him the instruction to drink it. Is it the way that you drink tea that makes it Xiao Zhou's tea? Do you say, is it the way you drink the tea that makes it Xiao Zhou's tea? Yes. If you drink it in the way. Drink it in the way, yeah. Then it's Xiao Zhou's tea, right. And if you keep drinking tea with us, eventually you'll find... the way of drinking Zhaozhou's tea, and you will taste Zhaozhou's tea. Especially in the session?

[78:57]

Right. Especially the tea in session? Well, no, actually the tea that's served after Sunday Dharma talk is also good. That's also Zhaozhou's tea? It's also Zhaozhou's tea. Zhaozhou's always telling. To drink some tea. Is it the lotus in muddy water? What? Is this, is that the lotus in muddy water? Is it the lotus in muddy water? Is drinking the tea, if you take it from Zhaozhou, is it, is the tea the lotus in muddy water? Drinking the lotus in muddy water, definitely. Or you could say it's the lotus in tea water. And so we are learning how to drink tea. That's what you're learning how to do.

[79:58]

Instruction. And now we also have the instruction to make... Can I have that? Yes, if I can give it to you as a gift. Thank you. I thought I'd never get you back. I have a question about receiving the self.

[81:01]

How's it going now? Receiving heartbeats and tons of people. Can you hear him? No. receiving a heartbeat and tons of people and as I know and I was this morning I was wondering if Self is always received with perception. Is it received with perception? You mean, does the self have perception? No. The sense of self is that... Does that come into existence through... It arises with perception, yeah. So there's perception and... But the process of receiving and giving is not...

[82:09]

does not appear within perception. But you receive a life which comes with perception. Part of your existence is perception. But this process, this actual process, is not a perception. That's one of the most difficult points here, is that this process of receiving what you're doing with everybody, that's not a perception. But everybody makes you into a person who has perceptions, you know, like colors make you, colors touch you, touch your body, and your history touches, you know, your body, and this consciousness arises, a perception arises of what you are. But the process by which that happened is not a perception. It's an unfabricated causal process of creation, which you have the opportunity to open up to through doing a ritual, celebrating it.

[83:26]

and you're constantly involved with perception. And your perceptions evolve positively as you study this and enact this process. But the perceptions never reach the process itself. I would like to describe something. Could you speak up, please? I don't think they can hear you if you talk so quietly. Okay. I would like to describe something. So sometimes it seems, or it happened that it seemed like there's perception, and then through this perception... Speak up a little bit more. Okay. through this perception, no, there's perception, and then there's coming this sense of self, like created out of this perception of things happening.

[84:44]

So that's a story. Exactly, that's a story. So you're observing a cognition of how something comes to be, how a self comes to be. And that's good to watch those stories and care for them. Because if you don't, they happen anyway. But unattended, they tend to deteriorate into... wholesome versions of the creation of self and other. The more you study these, the better. So I tried to study this story this morning, and what happened, it got a strong feeling of... Well, on one hand it felt really clear, and on the other hand it felt really cold, and... this picture of Manjushri's sword, but that was like ice cold and kind of cruel.

[86:00]

So that's a cold, cruel story. Such stories come. And can you be warm towards cold, cruel stories? So do you recommend... Can you be warm towards... Can you feel, can you vow to be warm towards such stories? What I did was, okay, I don't want to be, no, no, I refuse to be warm to that story. Okay, so you don't want to be a bodhisattva. Yes, I want to. Well, bodhisattva is into all beings. That's what I skipped to, to practice. What? I tried to skip No, not to skip, like to being aware of that continuing this story of in this way was just continuing this story of cruelty.

[87:08]

I stopped and I said, no, I don't want I try to do a different practice and practice of compassion. Yeah, but you didn't have to wait to start practicing compassion until after you stopped that story. You could have started practicing compassion before that story stopped. As a matter of fact, that would be good to do. Otherwise, if stories like that don't stop, then you're going to be postponing your compassion. If you have to postpone it, I accept. But I'd rather have you start now rather than wait until the stories get better. Because if you do that, then when more bad stories come, you might say, well, after I stop these stories, I'll start practicing compassion. after I had stories of nice relationships and warm relationships and kind relationships, then I'll practice compassion.

[88:16]

Again, the horse arrives and the donkey leaves. Don't wait to practice compassion. So I appreciate that you have these, sometimes, these kinds of cold, cruel stories arising in your mind, which we're all supporting you to have. And we want you to practice compassion If you want the stories to stop, you can compassionately ask them to stop. That's not a problem. You can say, please stop, story. I've had enough, thank you. Would you please go away? And you can do that kindly and generously. Like, again, with grandchildren. Stop throwing rocks at me. You know? You can do that. It's fine. But practice compassion when you say that. Not after they stop throwing the rocks. Do it now. Don't wait until later. Please. But if you refuse to now, I accept.

[89:23]

And I ask you again, practice it now, please, with whatever story is arising in your life. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. Do you feel complete today? Is that complete? May our intention equally exceed

[90:32]

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