Someone came to see me and said something like, it's been so long since I've been with myself. And I looked at him, and he had on formal sitting robes that we sometimes wear when we sit in the meditation hall. And I wondered,

[01:08]

if when he put on those robes as he was getting dressed to come and see me, if putting on the robes reminded him of something, reminded him that he was putting the robes on somebody's body, I asked him if wearing the robes helped him actually be present to himself or with himself. And when I put on the robes I'm wearing,

[02:17]

before I put them on, I wanted to see if putting them on would be a way for me to be present to myself as I was putting them on. And again, when I sat down here before you and arranged these robes, I was watching to see if putting the robes on, getting them arranged around this body would help me, would assist me in feeling what it's like for me to be alive. At some point, I guess, each one of you put your clothes on.

[03:24]

I don't know when you got dressed, but either alone or with some assistance, the clothes got put on your naked body. And I wonder how it was for you when you put those Clothes on. Were you there? Were you alive at that time? Probably you were, right? But were you there to see what it was like to be alive as you put the clothes on this morning when you came here? And although I was wondering about this, still, when I put these robes on, these traditional Buddhist priest robes, I must confess to you that there were moments when I was not completely here.

[04:47]

even though I was thinking about this very issue of what does it feel like to put on a robe, still to feel what that feels like is very... to fully feel that is very challenging. It's very challenging to fully feel it. The mind... the mind easily, the mind has dispositions to fly away from the simple experience of a body putting on clothes, to veer away into the future, the next moment. Although I was not completely present moment by moment as I put on these robes.

[05:54]

At least I had the teaching. Be present and enjoy your life while you put on the robes which are about being aware when you put on the robes. That's what these robes are about. Are your clothes about that? Or do you wear different kinds of clothes? Clothes that say, do not be aware while you put these on. Does it say that on the label? Do not pay attention to what it feels like to put a sweater over your head. Do not feel the cloth against your skin. Do not notice your concerns about your appearance. Don't pay attention to this. Just get these clothes on and don't think about how it is. Think about what it's going to be like later when you get to work. Think about whether there's going to be a traffic jam.

[07:08]

waste your time thinking about putting your clothes on. Does it say that on your clothes? Written into these, this particular, this top robe I'm wearing, written into every stitch, I don't know how many thousands of stitches there are in this robe, but in every stitch is, I return to enlightenment. It's the words, those words are stitched into each stitch. I return to enlightenment. I return to Buddha. This rose says, please be present. Even though that's what it says, it's hard to remember it when you put it on. I find it's hard to remember it. Some of you might think, hey, I want to get one of those robes. And if you do want to get one of these robes, actually, you are welcome to get one of these robes.

[08:19]

You have to make it yourself, though. And when you make it, if you want to make it, at the time of making it, each stitch that you make the instruction is, say to yourself, I return to Buddha. I return to enlightenment. I return to the teaching of the Buddha to return to enlightenment. I return to the community of people who have this commitment and support me to return to this commitment. Every stitch you say, You say that over and over. And then you finish it someday and then you put it on and while you put it on you forget the instructions. Because you only practice for three months or six months saying this to yourself over and over.

[09:24]

But for a long time we've been running away from being present. So we have a huge habit of running away and this little habit which we develop for one week or six weeks or two months or thirty years even, but still, compared to the ancient habit of distraction and ignorance, we're just trying to get a foothold, a Buddha foothold, in this distracted mind. And yet we still may want to wear that robe which reminds us to be present. We may want to.

[10:28]

And before you have a robe like that, you may want to change the label on your clothes. And just put a little new label in, a short little label which says, I return to Buddha. And then when you put your clothes on, then where do you... Now where are you going to go now that you're dressed up so nicely in robes, in clothes that remind you to be present? Well, you don't have to go anyplace, of course. You just be present. Now that you've got the clothes of presence on, be present. So, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I just thought maybe it would be a good idea to take off part of your clothes and put them back on.

[11:40]

And when you put them back on, become present. So I'll do it, and if you want to do it, you can do it too. You don't have to take off much, just maybe. And then get ready to put the clothes on. When you put the clothes on, have the feeling like you're wrapping yourself in the teaching, which is, live your life. Be present. See what it feels like to put your clothes on. Actually, I guess, excuse me, feel what it's like before you put your clothes on, because you haven't gotten mine yet. Now that you have... Now, are you ready to, like, put your clothes on?

[12:43]

And what does that feel like, to be ready to put your clothes on? What does it feel like? Let's hear a little bit. What does it feel like to get ready to put your clothes on? How do you feel? Cold. You feel cold? Wow. Anything else? What? You feel present. Does anybody feel goosebumps? It is kind of exciting to see. Yeah, I feel kind of excited about, you know, being ready to put my clothes on. Are you ready? Huh? Are you ready for this? Okay, here we go. Put your clothes on. Was that not taped?

[14:52]

You turned the tape off? It was on? Good. I just had a great time myself. I don't know about you. For me, that was like remedial practice. That was like remedial Zen, which I just did for me. I was more present than... YOU KNOW, I REALLY ENJOYED THAT MUCH MORE THAN A FEW MINUTES AGO WHEN I PUT THAT ON. I WAS A LITTLE BIT IN A HURRY, YOU KNOW, BEFORE WHEN I DID IT UP IN MY ROOM BEFORE I CAME IN HERE. AND THIS TIME I PUT IT ON THE WAY I WANT TO PUT MY ROBE ON FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I WANT TO REALLY PUT IT ON THE WAY I DID. WERE YOU HAPPY WITH THE WAY YOU PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON? DO YOU USUALLY PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON LIKE THAT? IS THAT THE WAY YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON? The way I put this on is the way I want to put it on.

[15:54]

I really enjoyed it, really. I never know, you know, and I guess you don't either. When we put our robe on, when we put our sweater on, we don't know if we're ever going to put anything else on. This may be the last time we get dressed. So make it a good one. Which means not, you know, that you put it on some fancy way, but that you're here. You get to feel it. You get to be aware. You get to know what it's like to be a human being. You. When a disciple of Buddha puts on her clothes, she knows, I'm putting on my clothes. When a disciple of Buddha takes off his clothes, he knows, I'm getting undressed.

[17:01]

I'm touching my clothes. He knows this. He may not say it, but you know it. You feel it with your hands, with your shoulders, with your back, with your neck. You do. And you know you do. And sometimes nominal disciples of Buddha, even Buddhist priests, put on their robes and don't even notice it. So then they confess I put on my robe and I didn't even notice it. But although I did that with no presence of mind, I want to... I want to put it on with presence of mind. I confess that I wasn't present and

[18:07]

Now I'm ready to return to Buddha, who is present in the process of getting dressed and undressed. One of the first stories I read about Zen was a story about a monk, a Zen monk who trained for, I forgot how many years, ten, maybe fifteen years, he trained and trained with his teacher. And then his teacher said, okay, you trained enough. You don't need me anymore. Or maybe you don't need me anymore. Let's give it a try. See you later. So the monk left the teacher's temple and went downtown. I think this was like, you know, in Japan. I think he went to Kyoto, the capital, And when he got there, oh, that's a different story.

[19:10]

Sorry. I'll tell that one. I'll tell that one. But that's not the one I meant. That one, he went to the Capitol and he he met the people who live in the capital. And in those days when Kyoto was the capital, it was like the place where the powerful people lived, the rich people lived, the most sophisticated and artistically accomplished people lived, the most beautiful people lived, you know. And out in the countryside, there were like warlords and peasants. So this guy was coming from the countryside into the capital, and when he met the beautiful people, he got distracted. You know? When he put his robes on, he wasn't paying attention to his robes. He was thinking about the beautiful people he was going to meet and what they'd think of his outfit. And he noticed that. And so he went back to his teacher to train for many more years until he could be present in the presence of the big people.

[20:19]

But that wasn't the story I meant. The story I meant was very similar among finishes training and went off and then one day he came back to visit his teacher and it was a rainy night And he went in to see his teacher, and his teacher said, hi. And he said, hello, teacher. The teacher said, on which side of the entryway did you put your shoes, and on which side did you put your umbrella? And he didn't know where he put his shoes and his umbrella. So he stayed and studied for 60 more years. Six more years to learn how to pay attention to where you put your shoes when you come into the temple and where you put your umbrella. And, you know, someone might think, I just thought, what about Alzheimer's?

[21:27]

What if Zen monks get Alzheimer's? Does that mean they have to stay in the temple forever? Because they can never remember where they put their shoes? Where did you put your shoes? I don't know where I put my shoes because I have Alzheimer's. Or rather, I don't even know if I have Alzheimer's, I have it so bad. So I can't tell you where I put my shoes. But since I'm a well-trained Zen practitioner, I know that when I put my shoes wherever I put them, I was there. I don't know where they are now. But I know. that I was there when I put them wherever I put them. And the reason why I know that is because I know I'm here now.

[22:35]

And I'm always like this. And I'll never be otherwise. So I can't give you information about shoes in some other place, and you're a fool to ask me. But I can tell you that I'm here with you right now. And in a second, if you ask me what I was talking about, I won't be able to remember because I think I have a condition of not being able to remember. But I do know that I'm talking to you now. And again, now I'm talking to you. And I'm not someplace else. And your questions to me to test to see how present I am are not going to distract me. but I did come for you to ask me just to test me. Thank you very much. And if I didn't have Alzheimer's, I might have been tricked into thinking about something a few minutes ago and thinking about where my shoes might be. But since I do have it, I can't afford such fancy stuff.

[23:36]

I just got to stay here with you and say, I don't know where my shoes are. Where are yours? Oh, caught you. You looked, didn't you? You thought about it. Anyway, I like that story. So I came to practice Zen to get, you know, trained at, like, putting my shoes someplace and seeing if I could be present when I put them there. And, you know, I'm still practicing at that and I still slip. Sometimes I put my shoes down and I... You know, I... I don't feel them, you know, to the last drop. That's like a coffee commercial from my childhood. I think it's Folgers, isn't it? Good to the last drop. Maxwell House coffee, good to the last drop.

[24:39]

Well, do you taste it to the last, it's good to the last drop, yeah, but do you taste it to the last drop? Are you there for the last drop to see if it actually is that good? Has anybody ever checked out to see if Maxwell House is that good? Maybe they hired people, you know. You people taste the beginning, you people taste the middle, but you people just, you concentrate on the last drop because to like taste it all the way through, that's too much for a normal human. To have a special crew, just taste the last drop. You can loaf in the beginning, but concentrate at the very end, you know. So when you put your shoes down, you know, there's some mindfulness. You're practicing the same thing. Where are you going to put your shoes? You're going to put them down there. But then after you put them down, as you take your hand away from the shoe...

[25:41]

That last touch, are you there for that last touch? And you say, I have better things to do than be there for the last touch of my shoe. Are you crazy? Yeah, I am crazy. I'm asking you, were you there for the last moment your finger was in contact with the shoe? When you let go, there was a point you let go. You were holding on to it and then you let go. Were you there at that time? Again, this is silly, right? This is silly. But that's my life right there. That actually was my life, that last touch. And I moved on to something else before I let go of the shoe. I was holding on to it and not paying attention to it. And then after I let go of the shoe, As I move away from the shoe, do I say goodbye shoes?

[26:44]

Do I see where you are? Bye. So I'm going along with this kind of like, I don't know what to call it, this kind of a game. I go along with this game. Maybe I shouldn't do it anymore, but I go along with this game of saying, okay, you can call me teacher. I'll pretend to be a teacher and you can be the student. I play that game. I feel kind of embarrassed to admit that right now, but I do. And so some people say, you're my teacher, I'm your student. So then I say, okay, you're my student, or you're a student, and I'm a teacher. I don't own you, but you're a student. You come to see me, and we do the student-teacher thing.

[27:46]

And some of these people come to see me. Every time they come to see me, they leave several things. Shoes. They actually leave their shoes. Now, of course, this is a case where people bring two pairs of Some people bring an outdoor pair, an indoor pair, and then they leave the indoor pair. They bring cups, and they leave cups. They leave their sweaters. They leave their books. That actually happens. So these people have many more years of study. So I have job security in this game. Recently there was a teacher's conference. And again, so embarrassing that these people went to this teacher's conference.

[28:48]

But anyway, some people went to this teacher's conference. And, of course, I didn't want to go, but they forced me, so there I was, implicated in being a teacher, just by being at this conference, right? And they had these panels, and I was invited to be in one of the panels. And the panel I was invited to be on dealt with the topic of aging teachers. And I looked around at the other people in the panel, and I noticed that it wasn't just a topic of aging teachers. They had aging teachers on the panel. This is an epitaph maybe to my life. Many years, for many years, people gave very serious talks at Zen Center.

[29:53]

Sometimes funny, but also serious. And sometimes people would say, why don't we ever sing at Zen Center? So I said, well, we can sing. So, a matter of fact, we are singing. Didn't you notice we're singing? Matter of fact, don't you see I'm singing right now? This is my song. Do you hear my song? So I started singing. And I said, I told people I was singing so that they would know I was singing. And I sang songs. But then they started saying, but you don't, you can't sing. Some people said, you say you're singing, but you don't really, you can't sing. You don't know how. Some people appreciated me trying, though, so I kept it up. And today, again, in case you didn't notice, this is my song. This is my singing. Did you hear me singing? This is my singing. But somebody spent $22.49 plus tax buying this chromatic pitch instrument. $22.49 plus tax, somebody bought this for me to use to help me sing.

[31:05]

So I can sing on tune. Okay? Was I on tune? See, this key, this equipment really helped, don't you think? Yes. Perhaps this was the first time I was on key. I don't know. But I just want to say people are helping me. I want you to know that. That's my epitaph. And then also another question was, do teachers really retire? Because some people say, I'm a retired abbot. I used to be an abbot, and I retired from being abbot. So I'm a retired person. So do teachers retire? And if they retire or if they don't retire, when they're old, how do they pass on before they go away?

[32:11]

How do they pass on the authority for the teaching to the next generation? So I was going to talk about that, but I didn't. Because something else came over me to mention, so I mentioned that. But today I will tell you what I was going to say there. But before I tell you what I was going to say, I'm going to tell you what I did say. What I did say was that when Suzuki Roshi was dying during the last year of his life, and we didn't know that he had cancer, but he did, one morning in a talk in San Francisco Zen Center, My experience was he suddenly turned and looked right at me and said very emphatically, things teach best when they're dying. He said that. Now, again, I don't know if he actually was looking right at me or if everybody felt like he was looking right at them, but I did feel like he turned, actually turned his head and looked right at me and said that.

[33:17]

And I felt very strongly, it penetrated me that he said that. I didn't think, oh, he's telling me that he's dying. But I think he was actually saying that things teach best. He teaches best when he's dying, and everything teaches best when it's dying. And I thought of that in two ways, and I didn't say this at the meeting the other day, but I think of this in two ways. One is that when you see something, when you experience something, and you experience the dying of this experience, when you experience the dying of an experience, it teaches you best. When you can see something dying, seeing it that way in some ways is the best way to see it. Because that's like seeing the person or seeing the flower or tasting the coffee to the last drop.

[34:25]

Each moment, to see the end of it, it teaches you best. Of course, seeing the end of it also sets up seeing the beginning of the next one, which is another thing that teaches you So, you know, Suzuki Roshi said, things teach best when they're dying, but also you could say things teach best when they're being born. So both when things are being born and when they're dying, they teach us best. But I find that it's most difficult to taste the last drop of the coffee than to taste the first drop. The first drop is sometimes hard to get. The first taste is hard to get, sometimes. But the last taste is harder. To be there with the death is hard and very important. So it's not just that teachers teach you best when they're dying, but rather that the teachers are always dying.

[35:32]

And when you see how they're dying, moment by moment, by moment, when you're in that mode of seeing the dying of the teacher, then you learn best. And when you see the dying of the teacher, you also see then the birth of a new teacher, and then the dying of that teacher, and the birth of a new teacher. When you see things that way, they teach you best. But sometimes things are dying and we don't even notice they're dying. So then we, even though they're dying and dying to teach us, we're not there to receive the teaching. We look away. We look away from the death, don't we? When I was a kid, when people were in the hospital dying, a lot of people didn't go to see them because it was like, don't go see them, they're dying. But actually, it's like, don't go see them. There's the teaching. Don't go see them teach the best.

[36:35]

Don't go enter into the mode where you can receive the truth. Stay away from it. It's too... It's not good. It's... I don't know what. I was actually taught, stay away from the dying. Stay away from the dead. The dead are pretty... The dead... also teach, but the dying in some ways is the key point because even in the dead, there's a dying. It's that dying of the, it's the last drop. And if you can feel the last drop, you can feel the next drop. I didn't say all that the other day. I just said, Suzuki Roshi said, I didn't have much time, so I said, Suzuki Roshi said, things teach best when they're dying. But what I wanted to say was something different. Not really different, but a different aspect.

[37:39]

And again, it has to do with how me, I'm dying, and me who is dying and me who is aware that he's dying, then he's thinking about the question, how do you pass on the authority, the responsibility, the joy of Dharma teaching? How do you pass it on to the next generation? And what I was going to say was pass it on by affirmation and adoration of the next generation. Next generation is also the present generation, but it's the present generation that may outlive me. So it's the next generation too. So by affirming and adoring everybody who practices, this is basically how I pass on the authority.

[38:55]

But another question that was raised for this panel was, how do you avoid stagnation and complacency? Because if I affirm and adore all of you, you may say, great, I just got affirmed as a whatever. I'm affirmed as a great Buddhist practitioner. I'm affirmed as a Zen student, and I'm adored as a Zen student, and now I can carry on the next generation, so great. So then you might think, well, this is nice, and then you might stop paying attention to what it's like to get dressed. You might stagnate in your excellent affirmation. Could you imagine that? Wasn't that easy? But the way of avoiding the stagnation and complacency that might come up if you felt affirmed and adored by the previous generation, so-called teacher, the way to avoid falling into complacency and stagnation is through intimacy.

[40:24]

So the situation in which the adoration and affirmation occurs is a situation of intimacy. So right now, I affirm and adore you all, but it doesn't register unless you're intimate with me. unless you feel it and I feel it. If I feel it and you don't feel it, it's not intimacy. If you feel it and I don't feel it, it's not intimacy. If we both feel it, still might not be, but it's got a chance. The previous generation, the teacher may adore you and affirm you, but it doesn't register. It doesn't penetrate your body and mind unless you're intimate with the teacher. the previous generation and the next generation, in order for this affirmation and love to register and pass on the life of the teaching and the responsibility and authority for the teaching, in order for it to register, there has to be intimacy.

[41:32]

And intimacy does not allow for complacency and stagnation. Intimacy is constantly, freshly, threatening, unnerving, destabilizing, challenging, etc. You never know it. You never know it. You never know it. Because it's not one-sided. And also, you can't get away from it. And you can't get it. You can't get around it, you can't get away from it. You can't avoid it, you can't grasp it. If you can grasp it, complacency and stagnation. If you can't avoid it, complacency and stagnation. So the Buddha affirms us and adores us, but unless we're intimate, it doesn't register.

[42:45]

I saw some people leave, so maybe it's getting late. Yeah, sort of. And I'm not in charge of the intimacy situation, and neither are you. The teacher's not in charge of intimacy. The student's not in charge of intimacy. A skillful Buddha can encourage people to give intimacy a try, but can't make them. Also, a skillful Buddha, I don't think, can stop some people from realizing intimacy. Matter of fact, in some Zen stories that we study, the teacher seems to be like making it hard for the student to realize intimacy.

[44:06]

And that's the way intimacy actually is, is that the other person who you're trying to realize intimacy with, they seem to be interfering with your intimacy program. And if it's intimacy, you can't say, well, this is not real. I'm not going to put up with this obstruction to the intimacy. I'm going to overpower this resistance to the intimacy. Well, that's not intimacy either. Actually, in real intimacy, your partner hinders you. They hinder you. They hinder you. They hinder you. They block you. They obstruct you. And that's how they facilitate the intimacy. Because intimacy is, you can only be blocked if you're on a trip. If you've got some idea what it is, the other person is going to hinder you.

[45:09]

I mean, they'll hinder you if they're in the mode of intimacy, they'll hinder you. If they also don't want intimacy, they'll hinder you, fulfilling your idea of what the intimacy is. If two people do not want to be intimate, then one person will tell the other person what it is, and the other person will say, yeah, that's it. Fine, we're intimate. And so that's not intimacy, and then you can have stagnation and complacency. We're a successful, intimate couple. And therefore, if there's any affirmation or adoration going on here, it's established and accomplished. We're a success. Doesn't that sound handy? But in real life, transmission there is a hindrance.

[46:16]

So some of these people who are, you know, not intimate with you, they're not, it's true they're not, but in some sense that they're not is offering, that's what it's like when you're working on intimacies. There's a lot of not intimacy. So there's a lot of kind of like, it's not stagnation and it's not complacency. It's like, I got a problem with this person. This person like doesn't trust me, doesn't like me. I mean, they, et cetera. So those kinds of feelings are there in a situation where the aging, dying teacher is adoring and affirming the next generation.

[47:17]

So that adoration and affirmation is mixed in with this dynamic... I don't know what the etymology of the word dicey is. Where does that come from, dicey? What does dicey mean? Huh? What? Odyssey is like a gamble. Maybe that's where it's from. This risky situation. So in the context of adoration and complete respect and affirmation, in that context, there's a risk. And if there's not a risk... I don't think it's intimacy. It is not a risk. So an old teacher, in some ways, you know, if the old teacher can remember anything that the old teacher learned about Buddhism, the old teacher could tell people about that.

[48:34]

He said, well, here's how you meditate. Here's how you practice compassion. Here's how you practice patience. Here's how you analyze your mind. Here's how you sit still. Here's how you follow. The teacher might remember that and might be able to teach those things to the student, and they might enjoy it, especially the beginning students. But the old students, who are also almost dead, The teacher is primarily not so much passing information anymore, but passing affirmation and love, so the next generation will feel entrusted. But there must be this riskiness too, otherwise it doesn't penetrate. So I think about, you know, I say this because, like I said in that panel, they said, what are you doing, what are you aging, retiring, nearly dead teachers most concerned about?

[49:45]

And I thought, yeah, it's like, how do you convey the next generation? Do you want to die without having other people to take care of the Dharma? No. Do you want people to be able to take care of the teaching and the practice? Yes. Are you doing something to help that generation? Yes, what are you doing? I feel like, oh, I'm affirming. I'm affirming people. I'm affirming people and I'm adoring people. And then it said, how do you keep from the stagnation? I say, intimacy. The water of the, I felt like the watery aspect is the affirmation. The watery is affirmation and the adoration is the watery. The fire part is the intimacy. to burn away any attachments to the affirmation and the adoration. Ah, my teacher adores me and affirms me. Got that. Now intimacy comes and says, oh, you got something?

[50:47]

What do you got there? Can I have it? One time my teacher kind of affirmed me. He said, I want you to go to Japan in maybe not more than a month. I remember he said it that kind of funny way. In other words, in less than a month, I want you to go to Japan. So the next day or so, I went over to Japantown and went to the consulate and got some documents to get sponsorship to study in Japan. And I brought them back to my teacher and I said, I got these documents. And he said, what do you got there? And I said, some documents for going to Japan. He says, I'll take those. He took him and walked off, and I never heard anything more about going to Spain.

[51:54]

So I thought, now, is he saying that when he offers me some affirmation, I shouldn't grab it? Maybe that's what he's saying. So in the future when some, what do you call it, some gesture of affirmation was coming, I would just say, hmm, hmm, yeah, okay, sure. Could this be so? So I never got any more affirmations. They were flying here and there occasionally, but I didn't get any. Maybe I didn't understand them, but that's what I thought he was telling me. I give you everything and you don't take anything.

[52:57]

It's all given to you and don't hold on to it. I'm letting go of it and now you let go too. The sixth ancestor of Zen's name was Hui Nung. He was once visited by a monk named Huairang. And when Huairang came to visit him, the sixth ancestor said, Where are you from? And Huairang said, Mount Sung.

[54:01]

This is a Chinese story about Chinese Zen monks, Chinese disciples of Buddha. That's why they had those Chinese names. So Hui Nung said to Huairang, where are you from? And he said, I'm from Mount Sung. And the sixth ancestor, Hui Nung, said, what is it that thus comes? And thus comes means Buddha is a name for the Buddha. The Buddha comes in thusness. The Buddha comes in the way things are. So one of the Buddha's epithets is the one who comes the way things are. When the way things are comes, that's Buddha. For example, the last drop of coffee being the last drop of coffee is the way the last drop of coffee is.

[55:05]

It's the last drop of coffee. That's the way the last drop of coffee is. That's the way it comes. That's the way it goes. That's Buddha. Did you notice that? Did you know that? Now you do. That's what Buddha is. Also the first drop of the coffee, the first taste of the coffee, being the first taste of coffee, that's the way the first taste of coffee is. Have you ever tasted the first taste of coffee being the first taste of coffee? That's Buddha. That's the way Buddha tastes coffee. That is Buddha, tasting coffee like that. Do you understand? Check out Buddha. Anyway... He says, what is it that thus comes? But also that means, when you came here, were you there? When you came to see me, what was that? What is that? What is that you coming to see me and me coming to see you? What is that? How is that?

[56:06]

So he's both saying, how is it us meeting? How is it us meeting? What is it us meeting? What is it us meeting? What is us meeting? And it's also, what is Buddha? It's the same questions. Do you understand? Do I understand? Yes, I understand. But do I practice it? That's the question. Do you practice every time you meet somebody, what is happening now? This is like, what is Buddha now? What's Buddha now? Not what Buddha used to be. What is Buddha now? What is Buddha now? Could this be Buddha now? Could Buddha be now? Of course you know. Buddha must be now, right? Cartoons all say that. What is now? What's happening now? What's Buddha? That's what he asked him, okay? Where are you from? Chicago. What is coming now?

[57:08]

What's Buddha? And he says, Huay Rang said, to say it's this, misses the point. And then the sixth ancestor says, well, then is there no practice in realization? And Huay Rang said, I don't say there's no practice in enlightenment. I just say that it cannot be defiled. And I would, in parentheses, say, I just say, you can't grab it. You can't have it. And neither can I. That's what the students say. You ask me, what's Buddha? I'm just saying, I can't get it, and neither can you, teacher.

[58:10]

I can't get it and neither can you, teacher. And also, I can't avoid it and neither can you, teacher. You can't avoid Buddha, I can't avoid Buddha. I can't really avoid Buddha. I can't avoid what's happening now. I may try, but I can't. I may distract myself, but it's still what's happening. I don't say there's nothing happening. I just say it cannot be defiled. And then the sixth ancestor said, this ungrasping, well, he didn't say that, this undefiled way, and I would say this ungrasping way, this intimate way, this risky way, has been protected and maintained and is being protected and maintained by all Buddhas.

[59:27]

Now I am like this and you are like this too. This is adoration, this is affirmation, and this is intimacy. Now I am like this and you are like this too. Have no doubt and please take care of this. And I will try to take care of this too with you. And if I don't, and if you don't, then I'll just keep trying until I'm dead.

[61:00]

Which will be quite soon, so don't worry. I won't be on your case much longer. But I might come back. May our intention

[61:24]

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