when we fully face our life, we don't see Buddha. When greatly enlightened we don't hold a teacher. The presence that settles and pacifies heaven and earth, obliterates all human sentiment.

[01:07]

The ability to meet and tame tigers and rhinos spontaneously appears when you forget about the holy Dharma. And forgetting about the precious holy truth, letting go, it fills your hands and jumps forth. Holding on to it, you lose today and turn into one of those beloved drag slurpers.

[02:17]

We love drag slurpers, don't we? They're the sweetest things, just like us. Here's a treasure box. Do you see it? Covered with a lovely brocade wrapper. Inside are precious aspirations written by you, of all people, for the benefit of all people. Wonderful aspirations. If they're going to live, you have to let go of them. And see, do they come up today, right now, again, after you forget what they were? Do they come up again? They were so good, we want to hold on to them so we don't forget. But if we hold on, we kill them.

[03:22]

Even though they were so wonderful when they first appeared. And the most wonderful thing when it appears is the thing we most want to hold on to and remember. But the most wonderful thing has to be released so it can come up again now. This most wonderful thing which has to be released so it can come up again now is our life. And when it comes up now, We have to face it fully without even Buddha to help us. Facing it fully is Buddha helping us. Wang Bo comes into the hall and says, what did you come here for?

[04:24]

And you answer that question without referring to your documents. Don't look in your pocket and pull out your vow. Say it before you think. But who trusts that? Who trusts what they say before they think of what they have to say? Who trusts themselves? So Buddha taught the four right efforts. Preventing the appearance, the arising of unskillful, unwholesome, unbeneficial states. That's the first of the four right efforts. Second, if they arise, abandon them. Third, promote the arising of wholesome dharmas.

[05:28]

of skillful states, of beneficial phenomena, of good things. And once they've arisen, protect them and develop them. In this box are good things that arose. They got produced in response to a request. We take care of them by letting go of them. We developed them by finding them again today and letting go again. How do we prevent the arising of unwholesome states? Restrain all meddling with what is appearing as your life now.

[06:45]

You got life? Accept it gratefully without making any deals. Could I have a little bit more of that, a little less of that? Could you turn the lights up a little bit? Could I have a little bit more red in that?" No. No negotiation with your experience. Have a mind that meets your experience right at its level. The sensed is met at the level of the sensed. and your awareness does not embellish out of greed for more of the good, out of aversion to less of the bad, and out of confusion when you can't tell whether it's good or bad. You just completely cast aside all your powers, all your mental activities.

[07:58]

You just drop them and experience this life. This prevents the arising of unwholesomeness. You cast aside all involvements and just experience. You cease all affairs. You do not think good or bad. You cease all movements of the conscious mind. the engaging of all calculations. Things are happening all the time, vividly, lively. You don't have to add anything to life. The mind is constantly functioning fully. You don't have to calculate whether it's enough or too much. Don't design even to become Buddha.

[09:10]

Just be a poor, simple, living being and experience the almost intolerable intensity of your life without any assistance from something outside your life. Let go of your crutches and embrace your life. This first aspect, this first of the four right efforts is what we call total engagement in a mobile sitting. That's what total engagement in mobile settings is like. You have an experience and you just have an experience.

[10:13]

And you cast aside all greed, hate, and delusion by just having the experience. Now, if you don't practice total devotion to a mobile sitting. If you mess with what's happening, if you try to get a little bit more or a little bit less of what's happening, if you try to get a little less pain or a little more pleasure, or you try to entertain yourself with what isn't very painful or pleasurable. Then by diverting your attention to some aspect of what's going on, by being drawn into a partial view, you ignore a door and into that door

[11:32]

all these unwholesome states come into appearance. In Jungian psychology, they speak of the inferior function. You have a mind, you know, and they talk of four basic functions of the mind, intuition, sensation, reasoning, or thinking, and feeling, which also has a rational aspect. Whichever one is your inferior one is the one you tend not to pay attention to. And the one you don't pay attention to is the door through which all the unwholesome things get in.

[12:40]

And they come in unobserved. One famous Jungian analyst said that if you want to see what a person looks like who has to their inferior function and what the person looks like when they pay attention to the place, to the dark place. Look at the behavior of the Zen masters. You know, it's actually okay to let the little critters in if you're there when they come. If you really want them to come to visit, it's no problem. Just go to the door and say, come on in. You can even hold hands with them and walk them right out and let them do their thing and have everybody watch.

[13:47]

Now they might say, well, it isn't the same when you're here with me and everybody's watching. Yeah, it's not the same, but anyway, this is love. I want to share you with everybody because you know what you do when nobody's watching and how troublesome that is. It hurts people, doesn't it? At least this way you get attention, you get exercise, you're not down in the dark all the time in the basement, all cold and so on. And I give you my full attention. It's a reasonable consolation, isn't it? Okay. But let's say, you know, that...

[14:55]

you aren't totally devoted to being present with no gaining idea. That you're sitting, you know, leaning on Buddha or, you know, trying to remember and hold on to your understanding of the holy truth and the tigers come and they get in. because you're leaning over, you know, trying to protect yourself from rhinos, and the tigers come. So you've got a tiger on your hand, and there's, you know, five basic kinds of tigers. Ill will, sensual desire, drowsiness and dullness, agitation and worry and doubt. These are the five kind of tigers that come in when you don't pay attention to what's happening.

[15:58]

So now they're in. And not only that, but you didn't walk them in so like they're surprising you. It's like full scale, you know, or maybe even just a teenage tiger. Not a baby tiger. But, you know, at least a 300 pounder. You know tigers can get to be 800 pounds? By the way, you know who can untie the bell strings around the tiger's neck? You know who can untie them? The person who put them, the person who tied the bell strings around the tiger's neck is the one who can untie them. When the tiger was a baby, he could go right up to it and go, and put a little bracelet, a nice little bell string around the neck with a little bell, you know. And if you were there, if you're the one who did it,

[17:07]

When the tiger is full grown, you can go up and take the bell string off. Especially if you stayed in touch with the tiger as it was growing. You understand? When I was a kid, for some reason or other, I was afraid of vicious animals. I got into that. I don't know how it happened, but I was afraid of dogs. And somehow the dogs knew that. They're very, you know, empathic. So some dogs, when they know somebody's afraid, like to go bite that kind of person. Not all dogs, I guess. Some dogs, when they see somebody's afraid, they're very compassionate. Maybe these dogs actually were compassionate.

[18:08]

Anyway, dogs would, you know, sense me and come running. You know, one time I was going to see the psychiatrist when I was eight. And I was walking down the street, you know, and this dog came running from not just across the street, but down an alley from across this, down an alley, out the alley, and ran across the street right over and bit me. It was amazing. As I got bigger and bigger, you know, and I did get pretty big at one point, there were some dogs which were so tiny and I was so big that I wasn't afraid of them because I knew that even if they bit me with full force, it would hardly dent my iron-like skin. But I continued to be afraid of dogs even until I was well over 160 pounds.

[19:08]

And then my sister got two dogs, two German Shepherds, a male and a female, Mike and Tina. Anyway, Tina had less testosterone than Mike, and she was pretty sweet. But Mike, full scale, unfixed. He got real big and had a real big bark. But I grew up with Mike. From the time he was a little puppy. So I wasn't afraid of Mike. No matter how ferocious Mike got, I would just say, Mike, no. Mike would sit, whoop, yes, sir. I was never afraid of Mike. However, my friends who didn't grow up with Mike, when they came to visit, they would be afraid of Mike. And I would say, don't be afraid of Mike. He won't hurt you unless you move. So all my friends became Zen students and lived happily ever after.

[20:22]

They're all sitting there in Minnesota right now in a spring snowstorm, unmoving. And no unwholesome states are arising. And Mike won't hurt them. But until I grew up with Mike and was intimate with these big paws and big teeth and big growl and big bark, until I became intimate with that, and I couldn't start from full-scale Mike, I had to grow up with baby Mike, I was afraid of dogs. And now I'm not too afraid of dogs anymore because of that experience. However, if you aren't there when the thing comes out the door, when these negativities come out the door, and you aren't watching them, and they walk out, and then they're walking around for a while before you see them. They're so big, you... They seem to come running to get you. What are you going to do then? Basically, exactly the same thing, which...

[21:33]

If you'd done it before, they wouldn't be there. Or, if they were there, they would be your pets. And you could use them to entertain your friends and teach your friends to practice. Namely, if you would just, again, cease all movements of the conscious mind, the engaging in all pros and cons, if you would just give up power of your mind, they would become tamed again. Now there's some details on this, but basically they all come down to this. They all come down to not using your mind, but meeting it. And lovingly, carefully, intimately, intimately dealing with how it's manifesting. Okay? So, as it first manifests, if you meet it in this way, no unwholesome states will arise.

[22:38]

When it first manifests, if you don't meet it intimately, if you're messing around, trying to make deals with it, it says, oh, you want to make a deal? Okay, come on over here, we'll make a deal. You go over and make a deal. While you're making a deal, it says, okay, you guys, come on in. If you don't make deals with your mind, there'll be no problem If you don't try to use your mind, that's Buddha. Don't even try to use Buddha, that's Buddha. Buddha doesn't use Buddha. Buddha doesn't see Buddha. But if you do make deals, okay, now you got a problem. Now when you got the problem, basically don't make deals with the problem. Say, okay, okay, okay, okay, we got a problem. What is the problem? Would you please somebody tell me what the problem is? Okay, okay, okay, okay. That's basically it.

[23:42]

Again, cease all movements of the conscious mind, the engaging of all, that's crap, pros and cons, all that, cease it. And now face the consequences of your having not practiced the moment before. at least the moment before, maybe many lifetimes. The longer it's been since you practiced, the bigger the tiger, generally. With some, you know, it's complicated. There's advanced placement and stuff like that. Okay, now, the first way the Buddha taught you know, kind of specifically of how to deal with these is basically deal with each of these five kind of tigers in terms of tiger antidotes, you know, just the antidote to the thing. So, ill will. Ill will is basically an expression of aversion. You're avert, you're turning away from a painful sensation.

[24:47]

You don't like the way you feel. You don't like this situation. You don't like the way it feels today, sitting in this hall. Or maybe now it's okay, but this afternoon it may get a little hot. You may have a lot of pain. I don't know. But you may get uncomfortable this afternoon. It may happen. And then you may not like that discomfort. you may not like the way you feel. That's called aversion. You may develop ill will towards your feelings. That could happen. That would happen. Again, if you don't meet that painful feeling, just fully meet it. Don't fully meet your pain, then you'll get into, perhaps, I don't like it. This is called the engaging in thoughts and views. This is called good and bad.

[25:50]

This is bad. Okay? Anybody, everybody familiar with that possible thing? Have you ever heard about it from other people? This happens, right? Uncomfortable situation or really painful situation and I don't like it. What sometimes happens, of course, is that it's a little bit painful and we say, I don't like it. And then it gets a little bit more painful and we say, I don't like that either. And then it gets more painful and you say, look, I said I didn't like it when it was a little bit painful. I don't like it when it got more painful. You think I'm going to like it now that it's even more painful? Well, I don't, right? So then it says, okay, then it gets more painful. And then you say, well, maybe it's not the point whether I like it or not. Okay, okay, I get the message. That's not the point. It's not so much whether I like it or not, or whether I don't like it or not. It's more like, this is happening, isn't it?

[26:53]

And at some point anyway, the pain just gets more and more until finally you realize, okay, I get it. This is not about what I like and don't like. This is about what's happening. I get it. Great. That's called upright sitting. That's called not having aversion to what's happening and not liking what's happening. It's called what's happening. Period. So if you don't deal with what's happening, then you get into what's happening plus hate, plus ill will. And my experience of Zen students is they have a lot of ill will towards their feelings. Now, this is also characteristic of the general population, I suppose, but I don't know those people anymore. I've been sort of trapped here at Zen Center for 30 years. But I guess from the movies that people outside also have ill will towards their negative sensations.

[27:58]

I guess so. And I've also heard stories of people outside Zen Center who face their negative sensations flat out and don't have ill will towards them. So it seems to be a general thing of human beings that they have ill will, that they feel aversion and anger about their pain. They don't like their pain. They fight their pain. Right? You've heard about people like that, right? But another thing about Zen students, which I don't know so much about the general population either, is that they often speak about this in terms of the word, they use the word judgment or judgmental. That ill will in the form of being judgmental, or I would even say ill will in the form of condemnation. arises in religious meditators, meditators of the Zen school, and probably other ways too. So ill will and judgment arise in relationship to these little negative states or big negative states that come in.

[29:10]

You know, what do you call it? Unskillful unskillful judgment. Unskillful judgment that's just plain causing more trouble than we've already got. Got problems, got pain. Okay, let's bring in some unskillful judgment now, too. Let's bring somebody in to sort of like blame and criticize and say who's wrong and condemn the situation. Let's condemn the pain. Okay? That makes it, of course, much worse. And this is very common among Zen students, this condemnation, this judgmentalness. And judgment, you know, I looked up the word because I wanted to see what the word judgmental meant, if it meant ill will in the dictionary. And I couldn't find it in a dictionary. We had to get to a big dictionary because it's actually a fairly new word. It was coined between 1905 and 1910. It was first seen. Judgment actually means the ability to tell pain from pleasure, to clearly judge pain and pleasure.

[30:21]

Being judgmental means the inclination towards judgment, and particularly moral judgment, particularly of people. So we bring this thing in here of blaming and judging into the situation of pain because we didn't face it purely. Now what do you do with this judgment? What's the response to it? Now, Buddha said the response to it is basically loving-kindness. Practice loving-kindness. So some of you are practicing loving-kindness, and then something happens, you're practicing loving-kindness, and then some sensation comes, like some negative sensation comes, and you're practicing loving-kindness, but you don't just, you know, practicing loving-kindness isn't sufficient of itself. You also have to like face the experiences you're having. You can't like push away your pain and practice loving-kindness and be successful.

[31:28]

You have to like feel the pain and practice loving-kindness. Of course, if you feel the pain, you won't need to practice loving-kindness. Because feeling the pain is loving-kindness. Isn't that strange? That when a pain comes, it's loving-kindness to feel it. It's like, oh, pain. Oh, okay, I'll feel you. No, that couldn't be so. Loving-kindness is to feel a pain. That's what loving-kindness is. That's compassion. Got a pain? Feel it. It's also wisdom. So if you have this ill will towards your own experience or towards your experience of others, you look at somebody else's face, you feel uncomfortable looking at their face, like people sometimes make faces. Have you ever seen their faces when they make those faces? Those not pleasant faces, like when they go... They make those looks on their face like maybe they hate you.

[32:33]

Or maybe they have contempt for you, or maybe they think you're not as good as them, or maybe they think you're a fool. You know those faces that they make? When they make those faces, do you feel uncomfortable? And then with the discomfort, do you like to judge them? Say, I'm uncomfortable and you're a rat? You know, or you're stupid for making a face like that, or you're a coward. Have you ever heard that happening? Well, see, there's this pain that you feel when they make that... Most people feel pain when somebody makes a face at them like that. I don't know, most. Anyway, some. So judge your will. Antidote, loving kindness. Loving kindness. Yesterday, I told you about something that flew through my mind. I thought, oh, I spent the whole day talking about one-fourth of right efforts.

[33:41]

So then I thought, oh, maybe I'll take me four days to cover right effort. I don't want to spend four days covering right effort. I had aversion to spending four days on this one. I have other things I'd like to talk about. I have aversion to this. I felt uncomfortable with the prospect of four days on this thing. So I noticed that and I noticed that I felt just a little bit of ill will about it. There was a little bit of discomfort with the idea of four days on this and then also four days of you having to listen to this, which I pitied you and I... So then that discomfort with you being harassed with four days of right effort, that discomfort with that, then I had ill will towards that discomfort. but it was a small one, and my response to it was, I thought it was funny. Loving-kindness is very similar to thinking that negative states are funny.

[34:44]

Loving-kindness is not, you know, that you think negative states are good, because they aren't good, they're not good, they're negative. That's their name. But you can think they're cute, and you can think they're funny, and you can laugh at yourself for having them, and you can laugh at yourself for not being alert. Instead of, like, then doing it against yourself, and you let that in, pow! You know, just, isn't that funny? Here, I did it. I was just talking about it, and I did it. Isn't that funny? That's loving-kindness in a way. You know, lightweight. Because it wasn't that big a deal. It didn't need a big heavy, you know, dose of, you know, universal, highly developed loving kindness. Just a little joke and it was gone, you know. And then I was willing to spend many years talking about right effort with you. No problem. If I get put in, you know, some prison and all I can do is like right effort all the time, never even get to the next rest of the path, just right effort. It's okay. It's okay. It might get boring.

[35:54]

At the rate I'm going, it's going to take more than four days. I just thought of three more stories. Maybe I'll tell them the whole session about the first aspect of right effort. So here's a story I saw on TV when I was a kid. Two Russian kind of aristocrats, you know, they were playing cards, you know, and drinking vodka, and one said, I don't know, something about, they were sitting in this library, And this one guy said to the other guy, he said, I could stay in this library for 20 years and study your books. The other guy said, oh, yeah?

[36:56]

Bet you couldn't. So they made a bet for a large amount of money. I think like for the whole estate. And I don't know. For a large amount of money, one bet the other one that he couldn't stay in this room that they were in for 20 years. So they did the bet. So the story was of what this guy went through staying in this room, in this library for 20 years, never leaving for 20 years. And so the first 5 or 10 or 15 or whatever, 18 or 19, the guy was really having a hard time being in the room, but he didn't give up. He really wanted to win all this money and be rich and famous. So he just kept fighting, but he really had a hard time. He almost committed suicide, actually. Now, I don't remember exactly what happened, but just in the last few weeks or the last few months, maybe it was the last year, I don't know, but towards the end, after many years of struggle and pain and greed and anger,

[38:12]

You know, you name it, this guy went through it. He finally... What? What? He finally got it, yeah. And he stopped struggling and just sat there in the library. But it was like... Actually, it was a while before the end of the 20 years. And then the guy came, and the other guy also was going to kill him. Because the other guy, in the meantime, didn't want to pay him off. He didn't have the money. The other guy, his life had fallen apart. And he couldn't pay him. So he was going to come and kill him on the collection day. So the guy who was trapped in there the whole time, I think maybe the day before, he walked out or something like that and said, I don't want the money. Say, what I've learned during these 20 years in there is worth much more than all the money I would win now.

[39:28]

I don't want the money. You keep it. So the guy didn't have to kill him in order not to pay him. So anyway, when you notice your judgmental mind flying up there and making your pain all the worse during the sesshin, or even perhaps beyond the sesshin, if you notice judgmental thoughts, making bad situations worse, and not to mention hurting other people, who are of course the reason why you're feeling that way. In the early days of Zen Center, when we used to be over in Japantown, one of our members was a Real husky guy. He was... He was the most inspirational... He was voted most inspirational on the Stanford football team. He's a real husky guy. And he was one of the apes in the Planet of the Apes.

[40:31]

Real big, muscular guy. Wasn't real big, actually, just really... And actually, one time he came to Suzuki Roshi with a picture of him in his ape outfit, holding one of these ladies who lived on the planet of the ape. He had these ladies, movie stars, who wore these ape outfits, not ape outfits, but furs. So there was the apes and these gorgeous girls in these furs. And he was holding one of these girls like this. He said, look, Reverend Suzuki, look at me and this girl. He said, that ape, that's me. I'm a movie star now. And Suzuki Roshi said, oh, is that so? Anyway, this guy, when he was... When he was sitting in Sashin, you know, like you guys, he was sitting in Sashin, he had his legs crossed like you, sitting there.

[41:40]

It's over in Japantown in a little zendo there. He thought, oh, these Japanese, these Japanese have, this is their revenge on us for losing the war. They've tricked these Americans into this room now and they're just torturing us day after day, you know. Not only are we in pain, but then they come and hit us. Little tiny guys hitting me with these sticks. It's all just this kind of totally great trick they're pulling on us. So people do think like that sometimes. Oh, they make the schedule really hard. They say, why do you have these schedules? Why do you have pain in Zen? You know, what are you doing with this pain thing? Why don't you have... Anyway, it can happen, right? Causing you this pain. Right here in the Sashin. Somebody's trapping you in this library. Anyway, loving kindness is the antidote to this negativity that comes sneaking in when you don't pay attention to your life.

[42:47]

Negativity which will come into your life if you hold on to Buddha. Then the other one is Of course, you might say, okay, I'm going to face my life, and I'm particularly keeping my eye to the door where negativity comes in, and if it comes in, I'm going to... No, don't watch for negativity even. Just face your life. Don't hold on to Buddha. Don't watch out for negativity. Just face your life. Because if you watch out for Buddha, or even if you don't watch out for Buddha and you watch for negativity, then where you're not looking, sensual desire comes in. then you try to get something out of this. Well, you know, I'm not in much pain, or I am in pain, but maybe I can have some pleasure during this week. All these periods of wasted time, at least I could have some pleasure. I'll listen to the frogs. Oh, lovely frogs. Or, you know, the barn swallows. Oh, listen to that tune. And really get into all the, you know, overtones and undertones of that beautiful voice.

[43:55]

And actually after a while of doing that, you know, you'd be surprised what you can get into. Just with the sounds of the birds and the frogs, not to mention the smell of the people nearby. Some people use really nice soap. And after a while you can really get nauseated from this and really lose a lot of energy and feel really bad about indulging in sensuality. Not to mention, like I said before, thinking of all this stuff. So what's the antidote to that? The antidote to that is think of impermanence. Some people say, I suggested to somebody, what I used to think of when I would get into this sensual desire thing, My thing was not to get angry with the pain, to tell you the truth. I never really got angry with it. Almost never. So the pain was not my problem. I mostly could just... I tried to get away from it, but I never really got that angry.

[45:02]

But for a while there, I was having a problem with sensual desire about various things. And I used to think of my teacher, my teacher dead. And I happened to have a dead teacher, so I could think of my teacher dead. I could remember looking at my teacher, I could see my teacher's face when he was dead. So whenever I was like trying to make, you know, like this is a beautiful room, isn't it? Isn't this a beautiful room? Have you noticed? Especially in the afternoon, in the morning, in the evening. And around the middle of the day, have you noticed how beautiful it is? The light, like when the light's coming in in the afternoon, like I sit here, you know, the light comes shining in and it illuminates those statues. They turn to gold. It's so beautiful. And in the middle of the day, too, it's so, isn't it beautiful when you come in, like the light's coming in? It's just, isn't it a beautiful room? And sometimes they are beautiful, like everything's beautiful, have you noticed? But then sometimes you want to be a little bit more beautiful, right?

[46:07]

Turn the lights down a little bit. Turn them up a little bit. Open the windows a little bit. Adjust your robe a little bit. Anyway, it's really beautiful, and then you start messing with trying to make it a little bit more beautiful. And Zen centers are, generally speaking, known to be beautiful places. They really try to make them beautiful. Beautiful wood, you know, nice wood, you know. Polish the floor. beautiful gardens. They're into that, you know, beautiful stones. So then people get into the beauty and sensuality of the experience, right? And then, of course, they can get really flared up and be a real problem. So I would just think of my teacher's face. I would see my teacher's face, my dead teacher. Snap it away. Or I would sometimes think of myself on Page Street smashed by a truck, with trucks running over my head, splattering my brains on the street. Or I also saw this movie one time called Catch-22, and it has one scene where this guy's entrails were splattered all over the airplane.

[47:19]

Did you ever see that? Open it up. I would think of these kind of things, and that would remind me of impermanence, that these little games I'm playing in my meditation or in my life in general, Like, let's get some new shoelaces. These little things we do to fix our life up and make it a little spiffier. You know? That we actually spend quite a bit of our time on. are kind of distractions and can get to be a real problem. People can even go to war over these little spiffy things. You know, want to spiff up the palace? You know, want to expand? Just to have a little bit more rice fields, you know? That would be nice, wouldn't it? Kill people for it. What you imagine around your life, just the little imaginations you have, people will kill for these slight alterations. people will kill for a face. You know?

[48:19]

You have a face, a person's face, and some faces are particularly interestingly shaped. You know? Like some women's faces are shaped in a really interesting way. Have you noticed? And some men will kill other men for that face. You ever heard of that? Kill? Kill. not just other men, but many other men's, over a face that will soon be gone. And that's actually what they're fighting over, this little face, this little image, which they have so much sensual desire about. I mean, people fight to the death over sensual desire. They kill out of sensual desire. because they forget that this is not about protecting somebody with a pretty face from harm.

[49:21]

It's about possessing and getting certain experience. Is that making sense? No? Yes? This is really serious business, this sensual desire thing. The antidote to it is to intensely pay attention to the fact that everything's impermanent, especially you. And especially everybody you care about. I said to one person about, you know, meditating on your dead teacher, he said, that wouldn't work for me. I wouldn't care if my teacher was dead. I said, well, maybe you don't have a dead teacher. So having dead teachers is handy if you ever get into this central desire thing. But it isn't just sex. It's sex, rice fields, you know, living rooms, couches, nice clothes, pretty kids, nice looking husbands and wives, golf courses, this kind of stuff.

[50:26]

Essential desire. Skyscrapers, freeways, you know, all this sensual desire. material, grabbable, nicely shaped, pleasant stuff. Impermanence. But again, in both these cases, it's exactly the same as upright sitting. loving-kindness is upright sitting. Intimacy with loving-kindness, intimacy with impermanence are just being present and upright. If you're present and upright, you will be kind and loving to everything that arises including negative states which arose, painful states which arose, I mean, judgmental states which arose, ill will that arose. Again, be present and loving with that. Be intimate with impermanence.

[51:32]

It will protect you from all kinds of actions based on greed. You don't stick your head into impermanence. Let's say, where is the impermanence? Oh, let's go look for some impermanence. No, just be present. Impermanence will come up right in your face. But to get the hang of it, you can, you know, think of your parents or your teacher or somebody or your children dead. They'll snap you out of it. It's a little kind of rushing things, but you can do it that way. I did it. Next, what about for drowsiness and dullness? Well, there too, practice upright sitting. That'll do it. That'll take care of it. That's the main antidote. But if that doesn't work, take a brisk walk.

[52:32]

If you can't take a walk, imagine a bright, a very bright light or a very bright hot light. Or go jump in the ocean. But this is, you know, jumping in the ocean, taking a hike. The same could be said of just try to sit still. Really be still. That also will get you out of your drowsiness and your sleepiness. If you keep moving, you can get more tired. If you're feeling tired and then you move, it makes you more tired. But if you're feeling tired and you more and more try to sit completely still, it wakes you up. Sitting still will wake you up. you know, switching over into restlessness for a little while will then make you more tired.

[53:38]

Does that make sense? Okay, what about restlessness and worry? Well, restlessness and worry, one of the main antidotes to that is antidote, like opposite, is just focus on something simple. Again, like your posture and your breathing. Focus on something which generally calms you. Don't argue with yourself about being restless and the silliness of worrying. Not right now, anyway. Just focus on your breathing for a while. Follow the in and out. That tends to you know, indirectly assuage your worries and collect your restlessness.

[54:40]

And doubt? Doubt means not doubt like, you know, existential doubt or doubt of your Buddhahood, but doubt as to whether or not you want to do the practice or whether you want to make a good effort. or whether it's worthwhile, you know, to be present with what's happening, this kind of doubt. And also whether you want to actually, like, commit yourself with some, you know, with some sense of responsibility to the welfare of all beings or something like that, if you're not sure it's a good idea. Don't harass yourself. Don't be cruel to yourself. Don't demean yourself. Don't criticize yourself. Be kind to yourself. But then also just analyze and discuss. Talk to teachers. Read texts. Clarify the Dharma. Clarify the teaching. And that will help you see that actually it makes sense to practice. And to make a commitment to practice. That it makes sense actually to practice.

[55:45]

do the practice which would have prevented the doubt from arising in the first place. Namely, be like a wall. So these five antidotes to these seven types of hindrances are directly applied to those different types. All right? But these five are just the first type of way of relating. These are five types which come under the first heading of how to relate to these afflictive negativities and unskillful states. There's four more. But these five are specifically related one to one to each of these types. The other four ways are general, apply to all of them.

[56:50]

So it looks like I will be spending some time on this. I think the kitchen already left, right? So I guess tomorrow I'll talk about the other four. But what I want to say about this first type, which has these five basic aspects, are loving-kindness for ill-will, Intimacy with loving kindness for ill will. Intimacy with impermanence for involvement in greed and all the kinds of sensual desires that come from greed. Intimacy with not moving and feeling the vividness of your experience which I might add, includes that you feel the vividness of your dullness, which means that you feel your dullness.

[57:59]

So when I feel dull, I don't try to pretend that I'm not feeling dull. I try to let my dullness be exactly its dullness, and by letting the dullness be exactly how dull it is, I find the vitality, the life that's in dullness. But if you try to womp up the dullness, I think you just crash. But if you really feel the tiredness and feel the dullness exactly, you find that there's life there. So again, There's loving-kindness there, there's being still with it, and there's finding the vitality or vividness in what seems to be dull. And then for restlessness, focus on something fairly simple, like the breathing, posture. And for doubt, investigate, study.

[59:08]

discuss your bring up your doubts go to practice instruction say that you think it's a bunch of junk you know what good is it done for you you know blah blah blah admit that you really hate Buddhism and stuff like that and get over it so those are the direct antidotes alright and once you learn how to practice these you can do them Like I say, there's a danger of teaching these, and that is that you get mechanical about your practice. But as you get more fluent with it, these things just pop up. Like I said yesterday, when I saw that negativity towards this image I had, I felt uncomfortable with this and I wanted to avoid spending the rest of my life talking about the four right efforts. When I saw that negativity, I just laughed it off. That's all it took, you know, I got over it. So after a while, if you get familiar with these, you just apply them whenever they're necessary to get yourself back to being present.

[60:16]

So their obstructing function just can drop away very quickly and quite easily. But in order to get good at these things, it might be good to actually spend, instead of just, what do you call it, doing them occasionally when the problem arises, you might spend a whole meditation session on one of them, even if you don't feel particularly pressed by your ill will or your judgmentalness. if you have a little bit, you might spend a whole period developing loving-kindness, or several periods on loving-kindness, just for that one, to see how loving-kindness can be applied to being judgmental and negative and harboring ill will. And then spend another one, maybe even if you're not too drowsy, but particularly if you're drowsy, doing the one on drowsiness and so on, so you get quite familiar with each one. Yeah, right.

[61:23]

So if you try to fight your sleepiness, instead of be kind of gentle with it and just become intimate with it in the sense of recognizing exactly how, precisely how is the sleeping, there's a vividness and a precision and a sharpness to the quality of your feeling sleepy. If you get into that, that can wake you up. But also, just take a walk's okay, too. Or cold water on your face before you sit. There's various ways to try to meet this situation. But if you get too rough with it, you just fly to the other extreme. Not the other extreme, but you aggravate it and it gets worse. Okay? So the other four, which I'll just tell you their names, and then tomorrow I'll talk about them, are... to work on your self-respect and your decorum.

[62:34]

Work on self-respect and decorum when these negative things arise. And the other one is, which is a little problematical the way the Buddha talks, but basically, practice denial. It sounds like denial. In other words, the Buddha says, just look the other way when these negativities, don't look at them. It sounds bad, Buddha, but anyway, I think I understand what he means. I have an interpretation of that. The other one is, which is more my style, is turn and face it. When you notice the negativity, go meet the tiger. And remember that when you... Anyway, meet the tiger, become intimate with the tiger, be intimate with this thing, and that will disperse it. And the other one, which is a last resort, and I've tried this and I can tell you some horror stories of that one, is crush it. Crush the negativity.

[63:38]

Crush the distraction. Crush the laziness. Crush the oh-will. Crush the, you know... If it's really necessary... If it's really a problem, if it's really bad, bust it. The Buddha said that. He said, we don't want to use this one unless it's necessary, but if it's really bad, the negativities are really flaring, just stop it. Just like a strong person overcoming, just use all your strength, just concentrate all your strength and just overpower it. Not good. I don't like it, but it can be done. And I can tell you some stories about doing that, which you'll enjoy. And probably never try yourself after you hear the story, which is good. I hope you don't need to be so rough with yourself. Well, not rough with yourself, but be so rough with these wonderful little teachers.

[64:45]

which apparently are visiting during the session already, but are becoming tamed, right? Becoming more docile. They're learning what their true nature is. But again, I'll tell you beforehand, I'll say it again too, is that preventing the arising of negative states, dealing with them when they are risen, promoting the arising of positive, skillful states, and developing them, those are all four taken care of by total devotion to being upright. That takes care of, prevents the negative from arising, and it naturally produces the positive and promotes the positive.

[65:48]

So maybe tomorrow I can talk more about right effort. In the meantime, take care of your practice, take care of your vows. They're in this little treasure box here. You can be completely present and give up all self-concern, then that will be what you do. If you can't, if it doesn't go like that, then that will be what happens. But anyway, regardless of what happens, here we are in this world together

[66:51]

traveling along, singing a song side by side. Right? That's what it looks like, doesn't it? Pardon? Especially the people on the floor. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say it during the first Dharma talk, but I didn't do it because before such an august group, I restrained some of my jokes. But I was going to say, good morning, Zen sardines. I think it's the Monterey Aquarium.

[67:58]

They have lots of sardines. And they travel, you know, they move together with, what do you call it? What do you call that? Synchronized swimming? They're incredible swimmers. They do all this stuff together as groups, you know. And the way they communicate through the water, how they, you know, one turns. I don't know who's in charge of the thing, but something, there's some big synchronization going on between these sardines, these little packs of And one Zen master said, one Zen master said, you know, sardines actually are very tasty. But this is not well known because there's so many of them. If they were more rare, you know, people would consider them a delicacy. This is something come from a Zen teacher to you.

[69:00]

Now, some of you are not going to eat. Some of you are vegetarians, so you won't be eating sardines, I know. But what you can do is you might be able to, I don't know, would it be all right for a vegan to eat the juice that the sardines are in? No? No? Are they kept in olive oil? Is that what they can them in? Is it olive oil? Sometimes olive oil? Sometimes water? I don't know. Is it OK for vegans to eat olive oil that sardines have been soaking in? No? No? But before the olive oil goes into the sardines, it's okay to drink it as it's on the way in, right? After it touches the sardines, from then on you can't drink it.

[70:05]

Huh? Juices. Sardine juice is okay? Oh, the sardine juice gets into the olive oil, so then you shouldn't drink the juice part. If you could take the sardine juice out of the olive oil... And then drink the juice, would it be all right? Pardon? Depends on your motivation. Okay, so I know what your motivation is. It's right in here. So you take care of it, all right? So, did you forget everything I said now? That's good.

[71:00]

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