So the question we considered over and over last time was, what is non-abiding? I found something. Oh, you did? Good. Would you like to read it? Why don't you come up here and read it? Please, come up here and read it. When the night of your life lasts a thousand years, look for a gate which is empty and has no hinge.

[01:09]

Move towards it and you are miles away, for it is everywhere and here. Listen instead to the voice that speaks between the thoughts. The Buddhas and Bodhisattvas of countless realms will raise their hand in mudra, beckoning you to a place you never left. To understand this is to ascend the teacher's seat, full when empty and empty when full. To understand this is to be sunlight streaming through an open window which knows no latch nor frame. The illumination of the heart is the spaciousness of the night sky, containing a multitude of stars, which is each of us. Thank you. Did anyone else write a poem?

[02:16]

I forgot to ask you, I wanted to ask you to all write a poem. I did. Would you please come up and recite it? He looks at me with twinkly eyes. What's not abiding, he says. My answer to leave the room, still abiding. Questions, words, and thought are division. I could not help retrospecting. A dangerous thing. I'm wondering if leaving the room is helpful. I also didn't mention that there's a warning about asking questions about non-abiding.

[04:06]

And the warning is that it's not appropriate to be teaching about non-abiding until one is familiar with abiding. So I took a chance without checking to see that each of you are familiar with abiding. and jumped right into the discussion of non-abiding. Was I mistaken?

[05:19]

Are some people here not familiar with what abiding is like? Are you familiar with it? If all phenomena are non-abiding, how does one know abiding? How would one know? If all phenomena are non-abiding, how would one know abiding? What kind of knowing would that be? It would be ignorance.

[06:23]

So are you familiar with ignorance? Ignorance that doesn't know abiding is not very good ignorance. But most people... There's many kinds of ignorance, but this ignorance of abiding is one that almost everybody is... What do you call it? Conversant. Well, I don't know conversant, but stuck in. almost everybody's stuck in the view of abiding. But the question is, are you familiar with that being stuck?

[07:34]

I hope so. Then you'll be ready to study non-abiding. Any questions about being stuck in abiding? Yes? It seems that one can be abiding if there's a place one might abide, like one might abide in one's thinking process, or one might abide in kind of mindfulness. If there's different places one can abide. Uh-huh, right. So, for me, the experience of abiding in mindfulness is something I value. And I don't experience all that often.

[08:47]

You don't experience something... Abiding in mindfulness. You don't experience abiding in mindfulness that often? Yeah. You experience abiding in other things more often? Yeah, abiding in my stories or reflections. So sometimes you abide in stories, And then sometimes you abide in the story of mindfulness. Right. And that one's more or less common, so you abide in liking that. It feels better. So then you abide in it feeling better? Then I think I want to abide there more often. So then you abide in that idea? Right. So that's what abiding is like. Do you have a question about that? I guess it was a comment. Comment, okay, yeah. What's the problem? Or is there such a thing as skillful abiding?

[09:52]

Skillful abiding? There is relatively skillful abiding and relatively unskillful abiding. But both skillful abiding and unskillful abiding are basically unskillful. So to be abiding in thoughts of the welfare of others is a relatively skillful way to abide. But the abiding is the unskillful part. The thought, the skillful thought, Thinking of the welfare of others is a skillful thought, a wholesome thought, but abiding there is not the skillful way to work with that thought. The abiding is making more of the thought than the thought is.

[11:03]

Or less of the thought, anyway. he's grasping it. And of course, if it's a skillful thought, then we think, well, now I should grasp this. Right? Well, that's not as skillful as this is a skillful thought and it would be great if I didn't grasp it. Wouldn't it be wonderful if I didn't even grasp unskillful thought, not to mention skillful thoughts? Yes. And then where does intention come into this? Attention? No, intention. Intention? Intention definitely comes into it. So whatever your intention is will be part of the way thoughts arise. So if you have the intention to...

[12:10]

live for the welfare of others has a lot to do with the arising of the thought of living for the welfare of others. And to live for the welfare of others with non-attachment has something to do with living for the welfare of others with non-attachment. It doesn't exactly control it, but there's an interdependence there between the two. I was just wondering, I think I already know your answer. You know my answer already? Oh, good. We don't have really any control over whether or not we abide or not. I think I remember speaking to you, not alone, but speaking to you, really saying that we don't have control. Would you say that now? If you're going to spend your life abiding, you're going to spend your life abiding, if you admit to it.

[13:20]

If you're going to spend your life abiding, you're going to spend your life abiding, yes, that's right. But that doesn't mean that there's such a thing as you're going to spend your life abiding. But logically speaking, if you're going to spend your life abiding, you're going to spend your life abiding. But it's not necessarily so that you're going to spend your life abiding. The way you're going to spend your life is not set right now. There are various factors and conditions, but it's not a deterministic universe. According to the Buddha, it's not deterministic, but everything is conditioned, everything is conditional. Can we look at something?

[14:32]

Can I read this? Oh, sure. If you enliven the mind dwelling on good, goodness appears. If you enliven the mind dwelling on evil, evil appears. The basic mind is concealed. If it doesn't dwell on anything anywhere, the whole world is not mind. So does this mean that enliven is used here as abiding? Enliven, no, I think enliven is, it's a funny word. They often sometimes translate it as produce or give rise to. So in that scripture, the Diamond Scripture, it says the bodhisattva should give rise to or produce or enliven a mind which has no abode, which doesn't abide anywhere. Uh-huh. So you're supposed to produce a mind which doesn't abide. But if it says, if you enliven the mind dwelling on evil, evil appears. I mean, doesn't that mean that if you abide in evil or if you abide in any thought, it appears, you produce it?

[15:37]

Well, kind of, yeah. If you abide in evil thought, that's pretty much what evil is, is abiding in evil thought. If you abide in a good thought, that's pretty much what good is, is abiding in a good thought. But still, if you abide in either one of those, that's not what a bodhisattva is supposed to do. No, I get that. Okay? But for an evil thought to arise and to not abide in it, then a bodhisattva is ready to, you know, whatever you want to say, ready to And if a good thought arises and the bodhisattva doesn't abide in it, the bodhisattva is ready too. So whatever arises, the bodhisattva doesn't abide in it. So you can take bodhisattvas into evil thoughts and into good thoughts, and they don't abide there. So whatever is happening, they're ready to help. Including, you can take them into no thought,

[16:42]

or non-abiding, and they don't abide in non-abiding either, so they're ready to respond appropriately. Which isn't the same as deterministically, but more conditionally. So, in some sense you could say, well, isn't it determined that if someone is not abiding that they'll respond appropriately isn't that like determined well it's determined and you could say yeah it's determined but you don't you don't know how they'll respond it's set that they'll respond appropriately but no one knows what that will be because they will always respond according to the conditions because of their their realization of non-abiding yeah okay so dwelling is like abiding dwelling is like abiding right yeah mm-hmm That's why we don't want to abide, because we just keep producing phenomena. No. It's okay to produce phenomena if that's the appropriate response. Sometimes bodhisattvas, you know, produce phenomena, like they talk or they wink or whatever.

[17:50]

It's okay to produce... But they don't dwell on it. But they don't dwell on it. I mean, if they're good bodhisattvas, bad bodhisattvas dwell on it. Right. The good bodhisattvas don't dwell in the arising and ceasing of phenomena, but they also don't dwell someplace else either. They don't dwell on the arising and ceasing, they don't dwell on the non-arising and non-ceasing. But if there's arising and ceasing of phenomena, bodhisattvas are present and non-dwelling, therefore they can respond in a way that liberates beings. So also they don't abide in or dwell in beings. So when beings appear to bodhisattvas they don't dwell in the appearance of the beings. Therefore they can save beings. But if they dwell in the appearance of beings then they can't save beings.

[18:52]

That's again why the Diamond Sutra says bodhisattvas vow to save beings but they understand that there's no beings to save. In other words, they don't dwell on the beings that they're devoted to. They are devoted to beings, but in order to really help beings, they don't abide in beings. In other words, it's like there's no beings to them. And they must see this in order to really help beings well. You can help beings a little bit if you abide in good or evil. You can still help beings. Even if you abide in evil, you can help beings by showing beings how evil works. That can be helpful sometimes. But, you know, bodhisattvas can teach that too without abiding in it. But with non-abiding, you can help beings in all ways, not just show them what evil is.

[19:55]

or what good is. And also, in non-abiding, you don't have to take vacations from helping beings. You don't get pooped out helping beings. Or you can put it that you may get pooped out, but you don't get pooped out from helping beings because you can help beings when you're pooped out. because you're not abiding and being all kind of allowing energy to help beings. You can help beings coming up and falling away. How do I not abide in the moment? How do you not abide in the moment? How do you abide in the moment?

[20:57]

Rigorously. What does rigorously mean? This guy's looking and I look back at him and he gave up. He tries it again over here. Pardon? I abide in the moment by being unconscious. Do you abide in the moment by being unconscious? Right. And how are you unconscious? By not being aware of what's happening. And how are you not aware of what's happening? I'm not paying close enough attention. How are you not paying close enough attention? I'm not noticing the detainment of my mind. You're not noticing your mind. This is the path to non-abiding.

[22:03]

It sounds like bodhisattvas are somehow not affected by circumstances. They're not affected by circumstances? Some bodhisattvas almost aren't affected by circumstances, but some bodhisattvas aren't. It's like, what is it? Is a piano player affected by a piano? Yeah, well, some piano players are, but is a bodhisattva piano player affected by a piano? No. Well, in a sense, they're not really affected by it. And yet, you put a piano in front of them and you say, please play, and they might play. But they're not exactly affected by the piano. Now, if you dwell on the piano, then you're affected by the piano. But bodhisattvas don't dwell on the piano, so you think, well, they're not affected by the piano. Well, you're right, they're not really affected by the piano. But they can play it. So, they're not... Would you show us, please, Fred?

[23:18]

But if he's not abiding, he wasn't affected by that, yet he was able to play. A happy tune. Yes? Is it that the bodhisattva is not thrown off balance by the piano? Yeah, not thrown off balance. What guides the actions of someone in that state? All beings and all things. Is it kind of like a spontaneous instinct? A spontaneous instinct? Yeah, or something. Yeah, like a spontaneous instinct or a spontaneous reflex to all things and all beings. That's what a bodhisattva is, but guess what else is like that?

[24:42]

Huh? Us. Yeah, that's what we really are like. Bodhisattvas, you know, are the way we really are. Shall we read the poem while we're at it? This is a Chinese poem translated into English. Without tracks.

[25:56]

No news. No news. What's that? Good news. Good news. And what is good news? Got me. Do I? Do I got you? Pardon?

[27:03]

News of nothing. Pardon? News of no thing. News of no thing. Do we have that now? Why, yes. So news is something about something that's already happened. So it's not now. It's news about something already in the past. So if there's no tracks, it's like without the thoughts that would bring it to this moment. There's no news. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's just what is now. Mm-hmm. So that's how I am. Uh-huh. Is that how it is now? I'm attracted to news.

[28:13]

Uh-huh. You know, I was interested in this, the way things this poem is talking about. I'm attracted to that understanding, no tracks. Yeah. But you like tracks a little better? Sometimes I like tracks. Well, how about now? Well, right now I'm kind of like right now. And liking right now, are you abiding at all? Yeah, because when I like something, I cling to it. Okay, so you want to shift over to no clinging and no traces? Yes. Before it's too late. I like this too. You like this too? I do. Okay, so now, are you ready for no news? Are we in no news now?

[29:16]

And how is that? Not much to say, huh? Yeah, that's one of the drawbacks of no news and no tracks. So is this no news being broadcast uninterruptedly? I think it is, but nobody gets to take any credit for it. Yes? It's not produced by DNN. Right. DNN? Armando News.

[30:22]

The thing about this is that it can happen, but we don't get to be the smart and be able to communicate it. Journalism. No journalism, no reporters. No journalism, no reporters. What's that riddle over there then? It's a sign of a decadent sin center. What else is it? Pardon? What else is it? It's a place to watch videos. You can walk the other way.

[31:29]

Does that work? If it's making tracks, you can just walk the other way. Does that work? Please show me what walking the other way would be. Good question. Thank you. Are we studying Fayan's tracks? Pardon? Are we looking at Fayan's tracks? Is this news about Fayan? Did Fayan leave tracks? And did Tien Tung who wrote the verse about no tracks leave tracks? Who's responsible for these tracks? Are they responsible for the tracks? Or are we responsible for these tracks?

[32:30]

So I don't know if we should be going on pinning the tracks on ancient... Ancient practitioners. What happened? Look in and say, yeah, stupid. You hit him, you gave him a yeah, stupid hit? Was he abiding in anything when he hit you? Was there any traces of what he did left in your mind? Sure, yeah. You had traces in your mind? Did you have traces in your mind when you hit him? What did you say? I don't remember. Okay, now this is good. White clouds, they're nice, aren't they? White clouds are rootless.

[33:40]

Pure... What color is the pure breeze? It's the color of my heart. It's the color of your heart. What color is the pure breeze, Betsy? It's no color. What color is Roberta's heart? It's traceless. Did you know that? Spreading the canopy of the sky, mindless, Now, again, if you're going to be spreading the canopy of the sky, this should be based on what?

[35:10]

What? No, spreading the canopy of the sky is non-abiding. What should this spreading of the canopy be based on? That would be good. Saving all beings, yeah. This canopy should have some, you know, feet, some support among the beings. There you go. Yes? When you say saving all beings, what do you mean? What do I mean? I mean abiding in saving all beings. In that case. What do you mean? What do I mean? I mean being willing to be as twisted as they want me and need me to be.

[36:20]

Is that like kindness to the suffering? Is it like kindness to the suffering? It is kindness to the suffering. It is intimate with being's contraction. It is like before you spread the canopy of the heavens, there is no mind, you should be intimate with the most little, tiny, twisted, contracted mind. I didn't mention that, but I just thought, hey, this guy's getting a little spaced out here. I just want to remind you not to get too carried away with this spreading the canopy of heaven, no mind. Pardon?

[37:21]

Is it possible to be intimate with your twisted mind and your twisted karma without the aid of a human body? Is it possible to be intimate without the aid of non-abiding? Well, maybe not. But you can get pretty intimate while still being abiding. but I think actually non-abiding, being intimate will help you be ready to understand and practice non-abiding, and non-abiding would, if you already had realized it, would help you be intimate with particular forms of limitation. So, you can... You can prepare for non-abiding.

[38:23]

Prepare for it? I guess you could say prepare. You can satisfy the foundation for it. Like I often think of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Courtney, are you awake? You ever see Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dance? So Ginger Rogers is like spreading the canopy of heaven. Do you ever see her like fly through the air? Fred sends her on these flights. And she flies through the air and then she comes back down and lands on these shiny, these sparkling polished floors, you know, on her little toes and those high heels. And she lands very nicely and flies off again. Have you ever seen her do that? Yeah. But one time I was watching one of those things on a video, and it was one of these machines where you could turn the speed down, and they took some pictures of Fred's feet.

[39:29]

Now, Fred's kind of a light little guy, actually. But they took pictures of his feet, and his feet were, like, totally planted, just like, boom, like elephant feet. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Just really... on the earth and then based on that there is spreading the canopy no mind Virginia is like no mind you know and that's the next line isn't it so holding the carriage of the earth powerful so we have some farm workers here So they're potentially, you know, they're good representatives of holding the carriage of the earth. And having their feet in the earth, they can spread the canopy of the heavens and no mind.

[40:44]

This is in some sense basic teaching of Mahayana Buddhism, but the Zen emphasis on work and forms of practice, like how we open a door, how we pick up a bowl, how we bow, how we sit, how we fold our laundry. these things are putting your feet on the ground. So that non-abiding has a foundation in the phenomenal. And this is the power that makes non-abiding not just an abstraction. or just heady.

[41:53]

The study of non-abiding can get heady if it's not grounded. Illuminating the profound source of a thousand ages, making patterns for ten thousand forms. And I saw a footnote that making patterns, you know, yeah, that's good. Making patterns, but also like, you know, standard patterns. What's a standard pattern? Well, you know, like a pattern that will be the standard for a lot of reproductions. Easily traceable. Not necessarily traceable, but a mold that a lot of things are, that is used over and over to make lots of shapes. Like precepts, yeah.

[43:00]

Mm-hmm. Yes. So in one sense, you know, there's all this flexibility, but in our sense, there's like standard patterns that can be... So there's tradition. Meetings for enlightenment in the atoms of all lands. In each place is Samantabhadra. the door of the tower opens, everyone is Maitreya. Everywhere is Maitreya. This is an allusion to the Avatamsaka Sutra. There's a section in the Avatamsaka Sutra about this tower

[44:06]

where you meet the next Buddha. And Maitreya is in every particle of dust in every Buddha land, there is a great bodhisattva. Any comments or expressions? Yes? There's something I'm missing here because Vimalakirti In debating with Manjushri, he says, what is the basis of non-abiding in Manjushri?

[45:08]

And Maharaj Kirti said, non-abiding has no basis. Now, if you say, non-abiding has a foundation in the phenomenal, then what could add that the phenomenal has a foundation in non-abiding? Hmm. He could, but I don't so much mean that, it's not so much that the non-abiding has a foundation in the phenomenal, but that the practitioner needs a foundation in the phenomenal before he can fruitfully study the non-abiding. Uh-huh. But you can also say non-abiding, you could say, in a sense, depends on the phenomenal, because non-abiding is the fact that they do not have, actually, an abode.

[46:08]

And the fact that things don't have an abode is inseparable from the things which don't have an abode. But that non-abiding thing doesn't exactly... What is the word you used? Doesn't dwell in... The non-abiding nature of things doesn't dwell in the things of which it's the nature. So, in that long paragraph, the commentary, as I now understand it at this moment, there's some kind of error in... asking a question whose form is, and which one came first. That's the way I feel.

[47:12]

But again, in order to fruitfully study, the teaching about things not coming before each other or after each other, we need to be grounded in the phenomena of where things do happen before and after each other. But that realm is a realm of error. But we need to be familiar with the realm of error before we can study the realm where that error of temporal sequence is no longer manifest or is no longer the point of the situation. So we need to be, in this way, we need to be grounded in how time works in order to transcend time.

[48:18]

We need to be intimate with before and after before we transcend before and after. And the way to be intimate with before and after is to not lean into either one of them. But be close to them without leaning into them. Or to be close to them and let go of them. Or be close to the habits of mind which dwell in them without indulging in those habits. Do you get a haircut or something? Yes. How did that happen? It has no symbolic significance.

[49:22]

No, how did it happen, the haircut? I went to a barber shop. The barber did that? Yes. How much did it cost? Ten dollars. Ten dollars. Supercuts. You want a supercut. Supercuts? I'll do it for five next time. So are all conditioned thoughts abiding? Are all conditioned thoughts abiding? No. All thoughts are non-abiding.

[50:24]

Some thoughts are abiding. The abiding depends on that very opinion or that very attitude, that very view, the abiding view. So one thing you can say about all thoughts is they're non-abiding, but you may abide in this thought or that thought and not other thoughts. you may feel you're abiding in this thought or that thought. So then for you, it may be that you're abiding in some thought. And you think you're not abiding in some other thoughts. But you're not abiding is different from non-abiding. Non-abiding means the way the thought really is, the way we are actually with our thoughts.

[51:30]

the way we're free with our thoughts, and of our thoughts, and by our thoughts. I think Pat asked this question last week about when a thought arises spontaneously, or like in a psychological process, when you say first thoughts. Yes. There's something that's spontaneously authentic, I think that we try to get to in the psychological process, which is the same thing that we're trying to get to here. Is that non-abiding? Is what non-abiding? That sort of idea, the view of first thought, which is sort of the thought before the thought. Well, actually, one time I was in a conference with a Christian Buddhist conference, and then at the end of the conference there was a little panel, and Chogyam Trungpa was there, and Joseph Goldstein and me were on the panel.

[52:38]

And, you know, it was kind of a setup. But anyway, at that time, one of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche's slogans was, first thought is best thought. Jack Kerouac, too. Jack Kerouac, too? Yeah, this is all writing practice. Okay, well, anyway, so Jack Kerouac said, first thought is best thought, and then Joseph Goldstein said, first thought is first thought, and then I said, first thought is not first thought. What did the Christians say? There were no Christians on this panel. So, in terms of your question, like his first thought, we're trying to get to this first thought, best thought?

[53:41]

I think that maybe first thought is best thought, but to try to get to it is not first thought. It's like first thought is best thought. Oh, well that's good, let's get to first thought. Then that's abiding in the first thought. That's abiding in the first thought, which is not the first thought. So maybe first thought is first thought, but also first thought is actually just first thought, not necessarily the best thought. But still, so if you hear first thought at first thought, then you might not be so interested in arriving at first thought. But really, first thought is not first thought anyway, and best thought is not best thought. So remember that too. But before you do that, be familiar with how you abide in first thoughts or second thoughts. Second thoughts, of course, are not so good, right? Compared to first thoughts. Compared to third thoughts. Derivative thoughts are not so good compared to first thoughts, but still.

[54:45]

Derivative thoughts are just derivative thoughts. And also derivative thoughts are not derivative thoughts. Second thoughts are not second thoughts. Hesitation is not hesitation. But we should have no reservations or shrinking back from the world of first thoughts, second thoughts, hesitation, deliberation, fear, anxiety, and abiding, basically, all those different kinds of abiding. If we have any problems with it, then pianos and other things affect us. But if we don't have problems, then first thoughts are like pianos, second thoughts are like pianos, anxiety is like a piano, hesitation, attachment, and abiding, all these different abidings are like pianos to a good piano player.

[55:51]

Namely, their opportunities, their challenges, their ways to blossom, So if you like, you know, if you want to play first thoughts, it's okay. You can play first thoughts. But after a while, you know, really, it's the second thoughts probably that are really going to draw your genius out. Or ninth thoughts, or no thoughts. So are we up for the adversity of, you know, all beings. Because all beings do become, do offer us adversity. But that's where we really grow. And that's where non-abiding really, really blossoms.

[56:55]

So to arrive there or to become a good piano player takes discipline, right? So where does the discipline come from? Well, you get to choose. We'll let you choose. Discipline or no discipline? You can choose discipline, no discipline, and you can also choose the kind of discipline you want. But after you choose, then you don't get to choose anymore. You get to choose where you're going to stop choosing. That's your discipline. So you're on, you know, what are you going to choose? You're on the verge of choosing Zen, but you haven't yet chosen. Discipline. Discipline is related to, you know, dociere, to learn.

[58:10]

To become a disciple means you enter in a situation for your learning, for your learning opportunities. So you get to choose what it is, but then once you're in there, then you have to deal with that discipline. And so we do need, usually we need something like that to help us ground ourselves in phenomenal experience. We need to enter into discipline in order to help us engage with all beings. Otherwise, we might think, okay, I'm going to decide, you know, what beings to engage with, which means I'm going to decide, you know, for example, I'm going to mostly deal with first thoughts. And when I feel like it, I'll do a few second thoughts. But that's not really the discipline situation. The discipline situation is a situation where you don't have to get to choose what thoughts you're going to work with. You're in a traditional setup which has, or does not have, you know, cohorts and teachers and so on which supply you with what you have to work with.

[59:23]

And if you're in that situation, then you're in a discipline. And that supports you In some sense, you can look at that as the mold that supports you for all the different ways that you try to practice this non-abiding, based on all these phenomena that you're being challenged by. So, it's clear that discipline is necessary. I still don't understand where discipline comes from. Oh, I don't know either where it came from. I guess it comes from compassion, my guess. That the discipline comes from Buddha's compassion. Buddha manifested some forms, some molds for us. So we're into forms, so they're given some forms that we can engage with, and then they can become forms that we can struggle against.

[60:37]

And what divides those who are disciplined and those who aren't disciplined? Well, first of all, what divides those who want to enter discipline and those who don't want to enter discipline? Yeah, those who practice discipline. Well, some people enter discipline but don't practice it. But some people don't even enter. So, first of all, there seems to be this like... I mean the entering kind. Yeah. Once they enter, then some people kind of slough off and suffer because they don't participate in what they enter. Others go along with the program that they signed up for. So are you asking about who enters and who doesn't? No, I'm asking about why. But some people succeed in being disciplined and some fail in being disciplined when they enter a discipline. Well, almost everybody that enters the discipline succeeds. It's just that a lot of people, when they enter the discipline, have to fight it for a long time and suffer a long time before they stop that, before they're trained out of the resistance.

[61:51]

But once you enter the discipline, unless you get out, you're a success. You just have to suffer until you're perfectly in accord with the discipline. But once you're in accord with the discipline, you've realized non-abiding. But you get there by, you know, abiding. You're abiding, abiding, abiding, and then your discipline's here. The discipline bumps up against, becomes your adversary to your abiding. Because the discipline doesn't go along with your abiding because the discipline isn't abiding. Because the discipline is non-abiding. So it's you abiding, meaning the discipline which doesn't abide, and then there's this problem here, there's this... adversity situation here but unless you jump out of the discipline container you're just going to keep getting taught you know worked around by this interaction until you're completely not a bite But based on this interaction.

[62:57]

So a discipline container, I mean, I think that I... A container for discipline. You can also have a container for not discipline. That's the one everybody's in. And you can't get out of that one. But if inside of the container you're already in, you jump in a discipline container, you will eventually get out of all the containers. because actually they're non-abiding. But you have to have your abiding confronted by the non-abiding over and over until you get the picture, until you understand. So that's why as soon as you take refuge in the triple treasure, you're done for. Basically, you're going to be a Buddha as soon as you take refuge. That's the basic discipline. The basic discipline is, I'm going back to Buddha. That's the basic discipline. Buddha is non-abiding compassion. So I'm going back to non-abiding compassion. Once you do that, that will eventually take over.

[64:00]

That will eventually take over. Buddha will take over. That's the story that I'm saying to you. That's the discipline. Okay? Okay? Yeah, yes. I feel like I've entered that discipline and I just don't know if I've... I mean, I feel like I've entered that discipline, but I don't feel very disciplined. Well, how did you enter the discipline? How have you entered the discipline? By meditating every day. How is meditating every day entering a discipline? I think I've entered the discipline by, I mean, at some point having some, I don't know what, realization or feeling or something that this was correct and having faith in that.

[65:10]

And... And then I did, and then I started to meditate. Well, that is a certain kind of discipline, but what it lacks in my hearing is it lacks this thing about, you know, the Buddha. I don't hear the Buddha. I don't hear you having the Buddha helping you there in the story you just told. Right, right. So there is various kinds of discipline, maybe that's one, but that all depends on your own mind about what's right. Right. It doesn't sound quite the same as I take refuge in Buddha. Maybe it is, you can tell me about it, maybe I can understand later that it really is, but I didn't get it, that it was the same as I take refuge in Buddha, which is the source of all the disciplines in the bodhisattva's practice of realizing Buddhahood, which means realizing this non-abiding compassion, or compassionate non-abiding compassion.

[66:38]

That's how, I mean, when you say that it sounds true. And so you don't feel very disciplined according to your discipline system, and if you entered into this other kind of discipline, this traditional Buddha discipline, you still might not feel very disciplined, but that would be the discipline I'm talking about, and you would be successful at realizing non-abiding if you entered that discipline. We all would be. I thought I had entered that discipline and maybe I hadn't. Well, tell me about how you've entered it. Before you told me I didn't get it, tell me again how you've entered it, if you have a different way of putting it. I didn't understand that you entered that discipline. You thought you did, but I can't hear that you did. Tell me how you did again. You mean how you do again?

[67:47]

How I do. How you did. By having faith in Buddha and by having faith in everything. But sometimes I don't feel that. Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't. Well, again, having faith is slightly different from saying, This is my faith. And I now go to this faith. Okay. Right. I see. and I go to this faith, and I understand that this faith goes with the teaching of this faith, and the community of this faith, and in the presence of the community of this faith, I say I go to the community, I go to the teaching, and I go to the source of the teaching and the community, the Buddha. This is a traditional way.

[68:51]

This is a disciplined way. This is a non-personal way. Mm-hmm. Right. Traditional way of entering into discipline. Right. Now, if you can show me that all that's involved there is involved in some other way, then I'd say, well, it's the same thing, but I didn't pick that up in your story. Yeah, and you're right. I mean, that's very weak in my discipline. Pardon? That's right, that's very weak. Yeah, so discipline... has to be strong, but not because the discipline is strong so much, but because, well, yeah, the discipline has to be strong in the sense that it can be a real adversary to your abiding. It's very clear. It's like a It's like an unavoidable problem. If you're abiding, you've got this problem now. Before you have a discipline, you can abide and hold on to things, and you suffer, but your problems aren't... They're just, I don't know, they're kind of vague.

[69:58]

That's what a koan is. A koan is something for you to actually push against. And the genjo koan is, you know, genjo koan, some people say genjo koan is the koan of everyday life. But one way to understand that is it's the koan of everyday life. It's the koan which is everyday life is enlightenment. Enlightenment. everyday life is. Gendro koan means the koans solved. Gendro koan means that this koan, number 74, whatever the koan is, this koan has been solved. This is an enlightened understanding here. This is an enlightened understanding here. Got it? This is an enlightened understanding. But then you might say, well, how is this an enlightened understanding?

[71:02]

I don't get it. How is this enlightenment? How is this nirvana? So, how is this Buddha? And that koan has to be strong enough so that you're actually hassled by it in your daily life. Well, I'm definitely hassled by it. question that I've had in my mind for a long time. Uh-oh. But it's very, actually I'm ashamed, it's very idle, but I'm interested. The idle part's okay, it's been there a long time is the problem. Is it possible for someone to choose the thing, this discipline, the discipline of Zen, and for this discipline to be so egocentric, to use a... Uh-huh.

[72:04]

psychological expression that the person just loves it and there is no actual opposition. The person just loves it. But can you in this discipline for 35, 50 years and not really... It is possible, yes. It is possible. it could happen to you. That, you know, that you would choose Zen and it would be like, you'd be perfectly comfortable with it for, like, fifty years. Never any challenge. Right. And I actually had that situation. When Zizekirosh was alive, I said to him, you know, I said, how come we never have any problems?

[73:07]

You know, we always get along so well. And he said, well, we will. But then he died. And since then I've been having problems. That was one of them. That opened the floodgates. Are you proud of yourself? Yeah. Because I have problems too. You are a problem. Thank you. So we have another class starting on July, what? July 10th. And is there anything, I think maybe there's a little bit more to work on in this case.

[74:12]

So we'll do at least one more week on this case. In the meantime, maybe you could study these other poems in there. See if they help you in your practice of becoming familiar with the way you abide. And I encourage you to encourage yourself to face the way you abide. This is like a little discipline called the discipline of facing in any way that you abide. Why not? you know why not face the ways you abide it really is important work and everybody has to do it in order to move on to the great teachings of non-abiding I'm not saying you're not already doing that but please continue if you are and if you aren't please please settle down into any ways that any ways that you abide

[75:20]

any ways that you dwell, any ways that you roost, any ways that you camp out, any ways that you clean, any ways that you grasp, any ways that you hold to the earth. These are not bad things. And they're not really good things either. They're just the phenomenal world that we have to honor beyond good and bad. We have to honor it, take good care of it. Did you sneeze?

[76:24]

That was a... delicate you're very delicate linda speaking of delicate sneezes linda ruth has a very delicate sneeze and she right now has um a leg injury she tore a muscle and um I guess it actually was bleeding and swelling up, so she has to have it elevated for quite a while. You probably won't be seeing her for a while. If you're running... I'm not sure exactly how it happened. I think it happened at Tassajara. She was moving a room divider. Oh, really? Oh, really? That's how it happened? Wow. Dangerous practice.

[77:30]

Yeah, we have a dangerous practice here. I'm sorry. Zen is not safe. So I have to be very careful of every move you make. Stewart will be watching you. And if he's not watching you, I'll wake him up to watch you. Thank you for continuing to study the cons. Especially I thank those who, like Pat and Grace and Maya, who have been studying it from the beginning. We're getting close to K75, which is only 25 from 100, so we probably will finish this

[78:39]

this book before the next millennium. You're getting close to 75 too. You're getting close to 75 too, yeah. So I think we might get to 100 before you get to 75. It's possible. But we have to be consistent and keep working. Otherwise we'll slip into the vast empty space of no koans. And then people will forget what koan we were on. So I have to go back to one again. Which wouldn't be too bad now that I mentioned it. Anything else you want to say before we adjourn?

[79:29]

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