I'd like to mention something that I mentioned before a number of times. May I say it again? The Mahayana, the great vehicle of the Bodhisattva, involves practicing three things. And what are those three things? Compassion. bodhicitta and realization. And realization, the English word realization means to manifest something, make it actual, and also to understand. So, to manifest what? To actualize what? Well, to actualize bodhicitta. To actualize unsurpassed authentic awakening for all beings, right? That's the Mahayana practices. And I say again and again also that we're emphasizing in this practice period the realisational aspect of the Mahayana, but everybody should be working all the time on compassion and the aspiration to attain the way for the welfare of all.

[01:21]

But we're not going into that all the time in the classes and lectures but that's your ongoing work that you have to be doing so that this past study of realization is grounded so the realization in the Mahayana the Bodhisattva's realization according to our fourth ancestor of our Zen tradition the realization for the Bodhisattva is emptiness or selflessness. And the great Samghi Nirmarchana Sutra says that if a bodhisattva misses emptiness, the bodhisattva misses all of Mahayana. On the other hand, if a bodhisattva doesn't fall away from emptiness, the bodhisattva doesn't fall away from any of the Mahayana. The Zen school is sometimes called the school of emptiness.

[02:28]

Nice title for the school. And the curriculum of the Zen school is suffering. Anxiety. The self. What we're studying is the first truth of the Buddha, the truth of suffering, the truth of misconception of self, the consequences of misunderstanding self. That's our curriculum. And our realization is the emptiness of the self. Does this all sound somewhat familiar? Now, in the process of practicing realization, realization of selflessness, realization of emptiness, we start by listening to the teachings on the middle way, listening to the teachings on emptiness, contemplating the teachings on emptiness, thinking about them, and then

[03:47]

entering into a meditative study of the teachings, taking the teachings into our meditation. And our meditation has two aspects which have to be united. One aspect is that we're settled calmly and stably with our experience. And the other aspect is that there's a penetrating vision or a very excellent vision of what the experience is. And so we spent the first almost month of the practice period trying to settle down, trying to develop a calm abiding in the curriculum of our school, trying to develop a calm abiding in the midst of our experience of anxiety and various kinds of sickness and pain and our experience of self.

[05:04]

trying to settle down on that stuff. That sound familiar too? And, uh, so somewhere we've been making efforts, joyfully making efforts to settle, right? Been fun, hasn't it? Settling into our unfun. Now, um, As I also said, you know, there's many, many ways, many, many teachings about how to settle. And I've been emphasizing one so that, you know, you don't get distracted by 75 different ways of settling. I've been talking about one kind of style. And later we might talk about other kinds. But even working with this one style, it's been a challenge to understand just one style well and then practice it.

[06:16]

And one of the things I'd like to say about that I find out that I'm finding out is happening for a lot of people, well, a lot of people here anyway, is that in the process of learning this stabilization, Well, I said this before, I'll say it again. In the process of learning the stabilization, people are becoming more aware of how much it hasn't been established. Like the average person on the street doesn't necessarily know that their mind is not calmly abiding in their experience. But as you start to learn how to calmly abide in your experience, one of the things which people are now experiencing is that they're kind of upset. Not only do they have painful experiences, but they're upset about their painful experiences. Which again, ordinary people who aren't paying attention are upset about their painful experience, but they don't know it.

[07:23]

I just had a loss. People here are becoming clear about this, which is good. And then in particular, some ironic things are happening, like in learning how to have a mind like a wall, in learning how to cease all involvements outwardly, people are getting kind of involved in ceasing involvements. So they're getting kind of excited about not getting excited about things. They're getting kind of entangled in disentangling with things. Well, again, that seems like as you try to learn how to disentangle with objects, the nice thing about this type of effort or this type of meditation is it flushes out your natural tendency to try to entangle with things. So I mentioned to somebody, when you first go to, like, you know, a foreign country and you hear the people going loud, you think, oh, you know, I'll just keep speaking English to myself.

[08:36]

And you keep listening, and after a while you start to understand a little bit what they're saying. And then you don't, then you're not so detached from what they're saying. You start saying, gee, maybe I should learn a few, get a dictionary. And, uh, Maybe I could actually understand them eventually. So then you try to get the language. And then you start getting the difficulty of learning the language. The funny thing about this language is the language is saying, don't get involved with me. Don't get involved with me. Relate to me with a mind like a wall. And not only that, but if you do this, this would be very good. This would be an excellent language for you to learn. And the language is, don't get involved with this language. Or anything. So then people say, well, geez. And they go right ahead, and the grasping tendency of mind starts to come out and try to apply itself to the teaching of don't grasp objects.

[09:40]

The tendency to get involved with objects starts to apply itself to the practice of not being involved with objects. So this is part of the mess that some people are in right now. but it's a normal part of the process. Because that grasping tendency, you have to get out in front before you can like watch it and see that that's the grasping tendency. That's not the non-involvement. That's more involvement. So where is the non-involvement? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? It's right there too. It's the not getting involved with the getting involved. But that's hard to learn. So that's the struggle right now, is how to not get involved with the practice of not getting involved. How not to get entangled with the practice of not getting entangled. Yes? He said, isn't that what the backward step means, that every time you see yourself getting involved to step back?

[10:50]

Is that what it means? Don't get involved with what you just said. Okay? There you are. You're getting involved in it. See? There it is. You're trying to get what the backward step is. Isn't that what it is? So then I can get that? See, there it is. It's not that. That's what it is. What it is is it's not that. It's not some concept of... This is a concept of how this is not a concept. This is a non-conceptual approach. The backward step is not to take a step back and then say, now that's it, I did it. That's what people are doing. Yeah, it's the same thing. That's all you're asking. So that's something that we're struggling with now is this not getting involved with anything without making that something which we're getting involved in.

[12:08]

And another kind of linguistic trick or something or complication is that in the shamatha is actually is in shamatha you're learning the backward step right you're you're working with you're not you're not actually trying to calm your mind down by looking at something which is object of some consciousness uh object of well excuse me the object of uh you know like you're not you're not looking at um the you know upward objects like you're not looking at a color or listening to a sound or a taste or if you're meditating on your breath you're not meditating on the physical the tactile sensation of the breath you're working on with a inner mental image of the breath or an inner mental image of the body or an inner mental image of the Buddha or an inner mental image of non-conceptuality or an inner mental image of a mind like a wall or an inner mental image like of not being involved with those objects.

[13:39]

But then in the Samadhi Nirmakshana Sutra, it says that the type of object that shamatha has is a non-conceptual object. So my understanding at this point is that the sutra is saying that you focus on a concept of non-conceptuality, or you focus on an image, you have a mental image, of not imagining something. So, the sutra says, shamatha has a non-conceptual image as its object of focus. A non-conceptual image, a non-conceptual concept. So you have a concept of a non-conceptual way to be with all the concepts of your experience. or you have a thought of no thought as the way to be with your thoughts.

[14:47]

So you're actually turning your mind towards a mental image of not of not being conceptually elaborating. So you have this concept of non-conceptual elaboration which you're focusing on. Okay? Because there's these two kinds of teaching. One is, shamatha, you're using a mental image, an inner image, as your focus. The other is that the object of the focus is a non-conceptual object. Okay, do you have a question? So now, okay, now. Okay, now. Watch out. Those who are talking, those who are listening, do not get involved in what's about to happen. Okay?

[15:54]

The meditation is do not try to grasp this conversation. Okay? Learn, learn to listen without grasping what you're going to hear and what you're going to hear and convert into mental image. Try to not get involved in this conversation that you're about to hear. And the encouragement is if you can listen to this conversation without getting involved in it, you will be calmed in that non-grasping mode of listening. But this is going to be a very interesting conversation, so it'll be tough. Very few people will not fall into the trap. Yes, did you have a question, Miss? Good luck. One instruction is not to focus on a concept?

[16:58]

That's one instruction you hear? So one thing she's hearing is don't focus on a concept. The other is to focus on a concept of no concept. And I think the second one is correct. And the first one is don't focus on a concept means basically don't be aware of anything. Because if you're aware of something, mind is aware of something, it's aware of a concept. Mind is normally aware of a concept. Concepts are the objects of mental awareness. So in shamatha, you're turning back and resting into your mental awareness. But the type of shamatha that I've been emphasizing is... I'll mention in a minute other types, but the type I'm emphasizing is to turn around and look at the mental image of the way consciousness deals with... concepts, non-conceptually.

[18:01]

In other words, rest in the way that consciousness does not elaborate on what it's working with at the moment. And so have a concept of the way that the mind does that, and in that way, by focusing on that concept, learn how to be the way the mind is non-conceptual with its concepts. would that mental concept be constantly changing? As a matter of fact, it arises and ceases moment by moment, but that's why it's possible, using this type of focus, that's why it's possible for the meditator to actually have a sustained state of concentration. Because although it arises and ceases, it is the same. If you focus on something visual, like I said the other day, William James found out and modern sciences also found out, you cannot really highly concentrate on a spot for more than three seconds.

[19:08]

And if you lower your criterion of how long it takes, you can do it up to ten minutes. But I've had the experience myself, if I try to focus on a spot, the whole world starts swirling around and if I keep looking, I feel like I'm going to throw up. I, like, really fix on a spot very intensely. I can only do it for, like, about three seconds, and then I just... My system says, stop. This is illness. But even if you don't, like, have that high-intensity concentration... a normal level of staying on some topic, some visual topic or something like that, a normal kind of concentration, which is not going according to the evidence of the introspection of the meditator, but where there's some behavioral check, you know, like the... Like, they won't be able to press a button unless they're on the mark, you know, following that? If there's some behavioral check, 10 minutes is about as long as people can do it. So how can Buddhist meditators, or any meditators, meditate for a long time?

[20:12]

Because they're using a mental image. Not to rise and cease, but it can be sustained. And this one, I think, is particularly nice because... You know, it not only is easy, not easy, but it's not only is, can be stable, but it is, you're training yourself onto an important characteristic of consciousness, which will be very important later in wisdom work. But I just want to briefly mention that there are other types of inner images that one can focus on. There are other types of concepts that you can focus on and attain stabilization. Like, for example, the image of a Buddha. It's not that you're looking at a Buddha statue. You look at a Buddha statue for a while and then you take the Buddha statue away and then you imagine it. What you're looking at is not the Buddha statue. You can't actually look at the Buddha statue intensely for very long.

[21:14]

But you can look at it for a little while, learn a few things about it, look at it again for a little while, learn a few things about it. And after a while, you can learn a lot about it. And then, based on that research and that familiarity with the Buddha statue or the Buddha picture, you can imagine it. And if you can imagine it very clearly in your mind, with your mind, then you have to be quite present there with it. But you can actually stay with that. But that image, that concept, that Buddha image concept, that Buddha image concept, you can stay with that for a long time. But I prefer this other one from the sutra, which I think goes better with our Zen teachings. The one in the sutra is, look at a non-conceptual object. Or look at the way... The mind is non-conceptual with its objects, which is more in accord with, for example, turn the light around and shine it back without saying what kind of, it doesn't say what kind of image to shine it back on.

[22:21]

And it's in accord with Yangshan's instruction, think of the mind that thinks. And so the Zen tradition seems to be more often using this non-conceptuality or non-conceptual topic rather than a Buddha statue, a Buddha image or something. But sometimes Zen teachers have, like Daoxin, sometimes did recommend looking at making an image of a Buddha. But see the difference? I think it's good to start with this one. And I think it also goes better with mind like a wall because the Bodhidharma didn't say, imagine a Buddha. He said, imagine not being involved with a Buddha. Like if there's a Buddha out there, imagine not being involved with that Buddha. That's his mind like a wall. If there's a Bodhisattva out there, imagine not being involved with the image of the Bodhisattva.

[23:25]

If there's a beggar out there, imagine not being involved, not getting entangled. ceasing all affairs concerning this bigger that so that's why i think this this samdhi nirmatrana sutra and bodhidharma and so on i think that's why i like this one best to start with but the other ones maybe turn out to be better for some of you who knows okay so i nobody's getting involved so far right in this conversation what comes to i don't know i just wondered if maybe there was one Oh, no. Oh, Bernd. Well, we're here to help you, Bernd. Give me a B. So could everybody hear that?

[24:30]

Yeah, so he said a while ago in his mind he had heard something, which he thought I said, which even went a step further. Like you said? Oh, yes, exactly. We emulate mind. Good. Uh-huh. Did you hear what he said? He thought this emulate mind, he liked that instruction because it doesn't seem so dualistic to him. Is that part of the reason why you like it?

[25:34]

Okay, so, but... Okay, now, I'm going to make a comment which is not about shamatha so much. It's more, this is about moving over into Vipassana. And you'll see later, actually, I posted on the bulletin board a little conversation between Yangshan and Guishan, which is in a commentary on Case 32 of the book of record, which is very much about this conversation that he and I are going to have now, which nobody's involved with. What you just said is you said you like this because it was not so dualistic. But I would say that what you like here is a concept. And you like this concept because it seems less dualistic. Okay? Which is fine. Use that one. Because not only do I also like this thing I said about emulate mind. But emulate mind means train your mind, train your attention onto the way the mind is, train your mind onto the non-conceptual mode of mind, but that's also train your mind onto the non-duality.

[26:47]

Use a concept to train your mind onto non-duality and to calm your mind through the concept. of non-duality. Train your mind into calmness through the concept of non-conceptual elaboration. Train your mind through the concept of emulating the mind. Train your mind into calmness through the concept of not grasping. And also, hopefully in the process of training your mind onto the concept of not grasping, you'll train your mind onto not grasping. Because it's actually the not grasping that's calming. So when your mind gets trained into not grasping and letting go, through the concept of not grasping and letting go, in that actual non-grasping, your mind calms. And that's also to train your mind in non-duality. Because when you train your mind into not grasping, you're training your mind into non-duality because duality has to do with self and objects. And when there's that, then there's grasping. So go right ahead and practice that way, which is so non-dual and neat.

[27:55]

And say, huh? Pardon? It's kind of absurd, yeah. That's what somebody said this morning. It's kind of absurd that we're training ourselves to not be involved with this instruction of not being involved. Bodhi Dharma goes to this big, you know, trouble of sitting for nine years so he can say, you know, 85 million times, you know, outwardly don't get involved with objects. And then to say all that just so nobody will get involved in his instruction. Kind of absurd. And to like really make a good, beautiful case for this teaching which you don't want anybody to get involved with. Kind of absurd. But on another level, it makes perfect sense because you're training people at the actuality of not getting involved rather than the approximation to it. I don't know. There's three over there, four over there, and one over there. Yes, ladies first.

[29:02]

Don't get involved in that. So, training your mind in a non-concept. No, training your mind in the concept of non-conceptuality. Of non-conceptuality, or train yourself in the concept of non-conceptually elaborating. Yeah? Or, and training your mind in the distribution. Training your mind to see the dissolution of concepts. Okay. That's another practice. That's not... Oh, yeah. You could say that's... Well, it's not so much... No. It's not the dissolution of... Well, you can say the dissolution of it, but I think concept is more like... Is it dissolution or is it freedom from the concepts of the difference among the concepts?

[30:12]

There's no context, but you're free of it. There's no difference for you among the concepts anymore. I read someone that the thought of the canonist. Anyway, this is just all. When I see concepts coming, then I don't feel so high. Yeah, well. Look at the Kachayana Gota Sutra, okay? He's talking about somebody who watches the arising and ceasing. For example, the arising of suffering that's liable or subject to arising and the ceasing of suffering that's subject to ceasing. This is the meditation we're doing here, right? And this is to watch this without any inclination, biases, prejudices.

[31:17]

So this would be, you're watching this arising and ceasing, without any conceptual elaboration so he's actually talking in that sense about a shamatha pratha but then he also says when you watch this way when you watch the arising and ceasing free of inclination dispositions and so on in other words you're watching arising and ceasing with an understanding of impermanence that's there but also no conceptual elaboration of these impermanent phenomena okay that then you no longer have the idea of this is my self. So that moves into freedom from difference of self and other. Impermanence is part of the deal. Otherwise, if you're not watching impermanence, it's kind of hard for you to like, well, put it one way. If you're close, if you're intimate with the experiences that you're having, then that involves being aware of their impermanence.

[32:19]

If you're aware of the impermanence, you're intimate. But you can be intimate, fairly intimate, I think you can be intimate enough to taste the impermanence and still be conceptually elaborated. So we want to get close to the experience enough to feel the impermanence, namely to see that it arises and ceases. So I, again, oftentimes find that people can sometimes catch the arising, they have more trouble catching the ceasing. Some people, they can be there for an experience, I'm having an experience, but they didn't catch the beginning and they don't catch the end. Then you ask them again, how are you doing? Having experience? Yeah. Did you get the beginning? No. Did you get the end? No. It just ended, but they didn't get it. I asked them, but they didn't notice it. How about this one? Did you get the beginning and this? No. Get the end? No. So to actually be close enough to your experience to get the beginning and the end of an experience, because you can tell the difference between like this, right, and this. They're not the same, right? Did you get those two? But did you get the beginning and the end of those two? Huh?

[33:23]

They're fast. So it's tough. You've got to be... But it's okay to start with big chunks if you want to. Most people can't even get big chunks. Like, when did yesterday start? When did yesterday end? When did today start? You can start with big chunks. You don't have to get down to the actual rate at which things ultimately change. They can get some sense of arising and ceasing. And you got some block there. And it... Yeah? It seems like that... Are you getting involved in it? What the hell are you... It seems like that totally built into the fact that Soji began. Soji began. Right, but the people noticed. Soji just began. Like, Soji began! It arose! This is like the beginning of Soji. How many people noticed that? Yesterday. Did you know at the beginning of Soji?

[34:23]

When did it start, actually? And when did it end? That's why we have this scheduled, so you can see the beginning and end of things. Now, this is a pretty gross thing. Soji is like 84 trillion experiences in Soji, right? But still, you have this big block. Can you get the beginning and end of Soji? Then maybe you can get the beginning and end of a sweep. Or a rake. Or a body. So, yeah, impermanence is part of the intimacy with your experience. Impermanence is part of settling with the experience. But then another step of intimacy is to not elaborate on the arising and ceasing or whatever it is. Joe? The best way to not get involved is what? The best way to not get involved is not to listen? That's being involved, not listening. That's heavy-duty involvement.

[35:26]

Not listening is really intense involvement. Like some noise is happening and you go like this, that's very heavy involvement. And also looking for a way to not get involved is very intense involvement. Try again, some other time. Yes? No, no, no, I think the lady first. What? No, no. Turning the mind around and shining it back will also apply to having a mental image of a Buddha.

[36:29]

But if you just say, turn the mind around and shine it back, you haven't specified any particular object. but it could be the object of a Buddha that you're shining your light on. If I like to sit here and look in the direction where you're sitting and see a Buddha standing there, I would be looking at my mind. I would be turning the light around and looking at this image. I've got a little faint one there going right now. But I'm looking at my mind. I know I'm looking at my mind. I know there's not actually a faint little Buddha standing there. There's a mental projection that I'm aware of. I can put it out there or anywhere. That's turning the light around. No. When you turn the light around, you always have to look at something. People try to turn around and see nothing, but then that's a very difficult concept for people. But that's another concept. It's not any better to see nothing than to see a Buddha.

[37:33]

Yeah, imagine you're head of a Buddha, yeah. Exactly. That's right. That's why some people like the image of Buddha, because it's so clear whether it's there or not. But if you have the image of emptiness, most people are very difficult to turn back and have an image of emptiness that you're focusing on. It's much harder for most people to focus on that. Image of emptiness means image of your understanding of emptiness at the time in your life. It's much more subtle. It has no characteristics. How are you going to meditate? How are you going to focus on your understanding of emptiness? It is possible. It's one of the things which eventually you want to do. But to use your understanding of emptiness as the concept that you're focusing on to attain shamatha, OK? That's pretty hard. Once you've attained shamatha, then eventually you're going to be looking at your concept of emptiness.

[38:53]

That's what you're going to be studying, actually. You're going to eventually be looking at your concept and your understanding of selflessness, of yourself. But that's not where you can start to calm down. But you could use your understanding of emptiness, that image, that concept, sort of like a distillation of your understanding Distill your understanding down to a nice little concept, a little jewel glowing thing that represents your understanding of emptiness. It's a wonderful, nice thing. That could be an image that you focus on. But then where do you need to wander off and get distracted from that? Because, well, it's so unclear. But you can see whether there's a nice, sharp image of a Buddha out there or not. Or just nothing. Just a red kibble cloth. There's no Buddha there at all. Are you kind of just accepting calmly your increasing involvement?

[40:06]

Okay. Okay. Well, that was really interesting though, don't you think? Or hard not to get into it. Yes? So, okay, so there's one of my, I guess, understanding of the schedule and the monastery is the way to surrender to it. It's an opportunity for surrender, right. It's an opportunity for surrender. So I feel like when I'm surrendering and for giving up the involvement of like really trying to have ideas about it, things that Okay, so you're saying your experience is that when you feel like you're surrendering to the schedule, you don't notice the beginning and the end of events in the schedule?

[41:15]

That's your experience? But I could say that that's fine, but there could be another kind of experience in that the beginning and the end of events are exactly the way you really test your surrender. The opportunity offered by the beginning and end of these events offers an opportunity to finally, you know, finally mean in a minute and subtle way to notice if there's any non-surrender going on around the beginning and end of events. So you may have this experience, which is fine, but I also, myself, I find that the beginning and end is a great opportunity to surrender because the beginning is a very definite spot and then I can not fool myself so much. That's my experience, a little bit different. Resistance can come up at any point. In the beginning and the end of events, in the schedule, for me, are places where I often can detect resistance.

[42:19]

Like... Let's see, I have the famous story from the Christian tradition is about this abbot, I think of the Desert Fathers. You know that story? Who was accused of being in love with one of his students. You know that story? No? So, you know, word got out that this abbot loved this monk. And so they sent, you know, a board of inquiry around to check him out. And, you know, it said, we heard that you're kind of in love with one of these monks. You favor one of the monks, you know. or whatever, maybe not favor, but anyway, that you're really in love with this monk, and he said, okay, come here. So they went up to one of the cells, and how many people have heard this story before? That's not too bad. May I tell it again? Yeah. So he goes up to one of the cells, he knocks on the door, he goes, knock, knock, knock. No, no, that's... Well, do the right one now. Do this. Do the right thing.

[43:21]

So he goes, he goes, knock. And you hear this. Hey, listen. And then he said, oh, excuse me. I didn't mean to bother you. Go back to your work. And then he goes to the next cell and he goes, the door opens. The guy says, yes. Yes. And he says, oh, excuse me, but could you go up to the chapel and dust off the Buddhas? And the inquirers say, you have Buddhas here in this place? Let's talk about that later. So then he goes out of the cell, and they go into the cell to where he was working on a manuscript, and he was writing the letter A or the letter O, and he stopped halfway through the writing it. So, he says, well, you see why I love him?

[44:26]

Please forgive me. So, that kind of like, you're there, and when the bell rings, you stop. You don't finish the letter you're writing. You're writing an A, and you go halfway down the thing, and the bell goes ding, and you stop. There's surrender, right? That bell. To get up when the alarm clock rings with no hesitation. Try it. The alarm clock goes ding. I'm up. How did I get here? Oh, the alarm clock must have gone. No hesitation. But, you know, being like, well, maybe soon I'll get up. But you kind of got to get to the beginning, because otherwise you can say, well, it's been going on for a while, so at what point should I unhesitatingly surrender? That's why the beginning is nice. That first sound of the dencho bell, bong, put my robes on. So I think what you're saying is fine, but I find it very helpful to the beginning of those bells, or at least, if not the very beginning of the sound of the bell, at least the first stroke of the bell.

[45:37]

to like, you know, going to finish writing that paragraph or that letter, that note, one more half of a page, finish reading that paragraph, couple more strokes of the brush on the teeth, straighten, you know, buff your head a little bit. Okay? There's another story which I'll tell some other time about me and Narazaki Roshi about the same thing. And see over there, who was, I don't know, was it some earlier person besides Olivier and, oh yeah, Alex was, I think, a while ago. Training the mind onto the concept of non-conceptuality. The way other people sometimes say it is, train the mind onto non-conceptuality. But really it's train the mind onto the concept of non-conceptuality.

[46:38]

And then by training your mind onto the concept, you realize non-conceptuality. If you can pay attention to a concept without getting involved, or without having any mental elaboration, then you've trained it onto non-conceptuality. not just the concept of non-duality, but by surrendering to whatever concept you're working with. So you train your mind on the concept of non-conceptuality, but that really means that you train your mind onto working with whatever concepts arising for you at the time. Like you see somebody's face, you train your mind onto just that face. It does. You train your mind under the concept of non-duality, which then helps you just be with the concept of the microphone and not elaborate it at all. Just like you and me, babe. I mean, that's it. I don't even know what you are, but here we are together. It sounds like think of not thinking.

[47:50]

It is very similar to that instruction. Yeah. That instruction is the same instruction. Think of not thinking. How do you think of not thinking? Non-thinking. Non-thinking is the non-conceptual mode that you train yourself into. That's the way you train yourself into that. Yes. That's another. Learning the backwards step and that little dialogue about not thinking, they're the same practice. I don't think that's an impulse. I think that's a concept. No. The impulse comes from the person who wants to meditate. Well, you'll find out after you calm down. But don't get distracted. Don't get involved in what I'm saying to you.

[48:54]

I'm just correcting some of the things you're saying. Concepts are not impulses. Concepts are not impulses. Concepts are not feelings. Concepts are not colors. Concepts are not the thing they're referring to. Okay? That all went... I didn't... I don't know where... I don't know what just happened. I just heard a buzz. Okay. Buzz. Buzz. If you want to, like, try to present it in some way that I can hear you, you can try again. I did answer your question. I heard a buzz. Is that all you want me to know about?

[49:55]

Is there a buzz over there? You could have that. That could be a practice where you're focusing your attention on the word, the word non-thinking, that concept. You have that concept non-thinking as what you're concentrating on. That could be the mental image you're concentrating on. Just the mental image, non-thinking. You wouldn't need to know anything about what it meant or that it was referring to the Zen story. You could just refer to the word or words. It's actually a word, right? Non-thinking. Is that a word? You focus on the word non-thinking. That could be a mental focus for shamatha. Or you could also have an understanding of that concept, which is that not only am I focusing on that concept, but that particular concept reminds me that when I focus on this concept, I focus on it in such a way that there's no elaboration of this, quote, non-thinking.

[51:11]

It's just like an adamantine, indestructible thing itself. It's like an undiluted thing undiluted, unaugmented image non-thinking. So non-thinking is not only something you focus on, but it reminds you of the way to focus on it, that particular image. But you could also focus on non. You could also focus on thinking. But thinking, if you focus on thinking, you might forget that you're focusing on that in such a way that you're not elaborating on that word thinking. That's the nice thing about the word non-thinking is it reminds you, do not elaborate on me. Do not get involved with me. So that's why Bodhidharma, instead of saying, make your mind like an hysterical monkey. He could have said that. And, you know, just make your mind like that. And if you made your mind just like that, that would be fine.

[52:15]

But then people might think, well, that means I'd be a hysterical monkey this way and that way, and what's a hysterical monkey? But he said, he said, focus on this, focus on not getting involved. So, again, when you first start trying to practice not getting involved with objects, you get involved with that instruction, just like you get involved with all other concepts. But the reconstruction keeps knocking on the door and saying, this is not what we mean by not getting involved. You're getting involved with me. I'm here to say, don't get involved with me. Please face me, pay attention to me, focus on me without getting involved on me. And then you go, and you say, do not get involved with me. Don't get involved with me. You can keep doing it, but this particular concept keeps talking back to you and saying, do not get involved with me. Don't get involved.

[53:17]

Mind like a wall. Non-thinking. Well, shamatha probably wouldn't necessarily mean that for people, but it might. Depends on how you understand. If the word shamatha is code for shamatha, In the herd, they'll just be the herd. In the scene, they're just the scene. If that's what it's coded for, then just say shamatha. And that whole teaching comes in, which is, what do you call it, concentrated or distilled into the word shamatha is this non-elaborative, non-entangling, non-grasping way of being with concepts. Then that code, that word, can set that off and you can focus on that word. Okay, Adam? I can't hear you.

[54:19]

Oh, the belt you mean for the end of work? So you're halfway through grinding the gamashiro? Well, you might just stop when the bell rings. Just stop. And then you might be calm because you just stopped. Okay? And then, now you've got your whole life before you, right? Which is, you know, like, well, what should I do with this gamashio? Well, I'm just, you know, I'm not elaborating on this gamashio now.

[55:44]

Again, I'm calm. And then again, and again. So I'm going to walk out of the room, or I'm just going to set the mortar down and walk out, or I'm going to keep grinding, or I'm going to put the mortar away and put the gomashio away. I'm going to do something, but it's going to be based on this practice, which I'm going to do moment by moment. the practice of not conceptually elaborating on what's happening. Not conceptually elaborating on your experience moment by moment is the practice of shamatha. So you'd be practicing stabilization in that way.

[56:47]

All right? But there would be various causes and conditions which would continue to be arising and ceasing while you're grinding. Like the kitchen comes in to cook dinner, you know, and they might say to you, would you please stop doing the gomashio now? And when you hear that instruction or that request, in hearing that, you... You just hear that sound. You don't get involved with it. So again, you're calm. So what are you interested in? How much time you're going to spend grinding Gumashio? Or are you interested in how to realize calm? You don't have to figure out how long you're going to grind Gumashio. I mean, you can if you want to. But many other people can help you figure that out. But nobody else can calm your mind. So if you're like into conceptual elaboration all the time to figure out whether you should continue to grind gomashio or not and sacrifice your calmness for the sake of grinding gomashio, which maybe nobody wants you to do anyway for all you know, then you're just not calm and you're just all caught up in your conceptual activity and you're maybe grinding gomashio, but...

[58:08]

Why not also have the calm and have this gomachio happening when the gomachio is happening and not happening when it's not happening and be calm in both situations? Good. I'm glad. Yes? What I hear is the question is how did he get in the state of having it happen to having it not happen? So he's practicing calm. Okay, yes. And that's, you know, being seen, being heard. Yes, yes. And then how does he get in the state of doing that and not doing it without coming out of this? Because he just wants to be in this samadhi of shamatha. Yes. So the kitchen, we can then cook dinner, and they say, you know, you want to give dinner a little extra, and we can, like, a little bit more space to cook dinner. Yes. And you can go to Zendo now for service. Yes. Or whatever. And you hear him as it's just preferred. Yes. So what happens then? Well, but before we get to them coming in, how do you get from, you're practicing shamatha, right?

[59:14]

Before the bell rings, how do you get from one side of the sarabhaci to the other side of the sarabhaci? How does the grinding happen if you're practicing kham? Right. When you're practicing calm, you're not trying to figure out how that happens. But it seems to be happening. There's some way that this grinding activity is happening. It's rather, it's a dependently co-arisen phenomena, moment by moment. In shamatha, you're not actually yet trying to figure out how does this happen. In other words, shamatha is not emphasizing studying now, in a penetrating way, dependent co-arising, which is, you know, the first part of the sutra is trying to, I think to some extent, trying to show you how to practice shamatha, how to watch things happen, right? The second part of the sutra is relating to the fact of how does it happen that you can move your grinder from one side of the grinding thing to the other? How does that happen that you have a grinder? How does it happen that you get to be there? How does it happen that you're aware? The answer to those questions comes through the insight.

[60:18]

Now, for now, we're trying to figure out how we can calm down to get our seat, and then we can start to look at what is actually going on here. It doesn't mean you're going to get into conceptual elaboration. It means that we're going to start to ponder what's going on here besides conception. But if we're messing around with the conception, the reason why we mess around with conceptions is because we think conceptions is what's going on. We're so concerned about conceptions because we think that's really what's happening. Well, it's just a little part of what's happening. But if we don't cool it with the conceptions, we're agitated, plus we're just reiterating our belief that they're really what's going on. When you settle down with them, you calm, and then you can start to look, what is actually going on here besides just that this grinding activity seems to be arising? How does it happen? So then you can see how it happens. But in the meantime, somehow you're grinding. Somehow the grinding activity is happening. And somehow when people come in and say, Adam, stop.

[61:19]

You somehow stop. Maybe. Yeah, stop. I mean, they came in and said, stop and I stopped. How did that happen? What a magical thing. Here I am grinding away very happily and they say, stop. And that's the grinding stopped. How did that happen? Well, I saw it happen, but I can't actually see how it all worked. How did it work? I mean, how did the brain and the ear and the screaming and the... How did that all come together? Anyway, it did, and now I'm in a state of stop. Now how am I going to get out of the room? But how am I going to get out of the room is not a shamatha practice. Shamatha practice is I'm standing here, you know, still... Everyone else in the kitchen is looking at me. I'm not elaborating on this. And I'm calm. And I'm buoyant. And I'm happy. And I'm ready for the next thing. What is it? I'm on a walking thing now. I'm on a walking. I'm walking.

[62:20]

Here I go. Or they say, you may leave. And I start walking out the door. How did that happen? So, it's fine to try to wonder how things happen. And the Buddha answered how things happen. Right? In the later parisitra. based on ignorance, karmic formations, consciousness. That's how things happen. That's his explanation of how it gets to be like, how does it get to be that we're like this? And now how does it get to be that we're like this? And how does it get to be that this class ends? And how does it get to be this class starts? He actually explained, gave a little story about that. it's a story of dependent co-arising. Samatha practice is to settle down so then we can study dependent co-arising. If you try to ask, well, how am I going to get out of the room? You're saying, how does it dependently co-arise that I get out of the room? That's a good question, but that's not Samatha question. Samatha question is, how is it that I can be not involved with this moment of standing still or walking or lying down or grinding.

[63:22]

How can I be with this the way the mind is, non-conceptually, without holding on to what's going on here, with no grasping to this process that's going on. Now, I just wanted to mention that it's 1024 now. A kitchen has a kitchen left. Um, I, uh, I just wanted to say that, and I had no attachment to it, but I'm about ready to now start to talk about Vipassana. And so we have maybe, I don't know, at least two more sessions before I go up to the city. And if you want to keep talking about Samatha more, that's fine.

[64:23]

We can keep talking about Samatha, but I'm also ready to start talking about Vipassana. My idea was actually to start with what I see as Zen examples of Vipassana, which may turn out to be really wonderfully accessible, or they may be real hard. But the advantage of these Zen examples, I think in some senses, is that the advantage of them is that they don't have these steps and stages articulated. So I think in some ways, and also they're kind of our family style. But I was going to start anyway with some Zen stories, which I think are about studying the self and realizing selflessness. And my idea was that after becoming familiar with the Zen style of Vipassana, we could look at some other more articulated and stagey kind of presentations of it from the Indian Mahayana tradition.

[65:29]

Indians tend to be into, you know, there are 17 types of ways of analyzing selflessness, and then the first type has five main characteristics, and each one has three or four subtopics. That's the way that they tend. And the Chinese, before Zen, also adopted that way. But the Zen people didn't articulate these stages and stuff. And so I'd like to start with kind of like the stages are there, but to not articulate them. And then maybe, if we can, to go to the Indian presentation. of the same process and so to that end I posted a story one of the stories in the commentary on the on case 32 one of the commentaries on this shamatha vipassana thing that happened in case 32

[66:31]

And in the spirit of the old days, when they used to put stuff on the wall and the monks would go read it and make copy down and make their own copy, you can go make your own hand copy of that story. Or if you've already got the book, you can read it. And the other story I wanted to look at in the fairly near future, I don't know when, but if we never get to it, you'll know that I wanted to. And that is, it's a story that appears in Blue Cliff Record, Case 17. And, excuse me, yeah, Blue Cliff, no, no, Blue Cliff Record number five. It's a story about Fa Yan and Superintendent Si, where, you know, Superintendent Si had this awakening about, you know, he asked his teacher, what is the self of the student? And the teacher says, the fire god comes seeking fire. That story. So that's in the Blue Cliff Record, and there's a book in the Book of Serenity There's a book in the Book of Serenity.

[67:36]

The Book of Serenity, Case 17, is also about Fayan. And it's a related story. And in that case, they say that this story is the same as the story of when Fayan broke down Superintendent Tse. And this is also discussed in question 16 of Bendo Wa, this case of Fa Yan and Superintendent Tzu. So that's a case also where I think it's a good meditation on trying to see this story, to see selflessness in the story. These stories, these two stories. In the story of Case 32, all we know is that the monk seemed to have veered over into something like a nihilistic understanding of emptiness.

[68:39]

He seemed to have adopted a view of emptiness. But in the stories that I'm referring to... Well, there was a view of emptiness that appeared, but it was specifically articulated and pointed out and worked with. So in the case 32, we don't have much detail on what it would look like if it had gone differently. In these other two stories, things got worked out a little bit. So we get a little bit more access to the process of insight in those two stories. So case 16 of the Bendoa, Interesting discussion there, which surrounds the story, and then the story in the Blue Cliff Record, and then this other story, which I posted. So you might look at these to get familiar with them. So if you memorize these stories, they're not that long. Then in our discussions, they'll be available to you.

[69:40]

So I won't be referring to something that you have to try to think of. What was that again? How did that go? So you should go through these stories and know them and become familiar with them. And then we can try to study them. But again, my understanding is that in these stories, these monks... all these monks, in case 32, main case, in Yangshan and Guishan talking it over, and even with the superintendent Tse and Fayan, superintendent, all these people were practicing shamatha. They're all settled people. They're settled in their experience. They're steady so that their conversations have a possibility of insight occurring. And in all the stories, insight did occur to some extent. Where is it posted? It's in the stone office on the Dharma board. Is there a Dharma board in there? So just a short little story, short little interaction, but I think it's helpful in relationship to the... It's basically another example of case 32, but gives you some different access to it.

[70:55]

One other thing I wanted to say was... Oh, well, this wasn't it, but... So, it also says in the Samadhi Nirmarjana Sutra, if somebody's practicing shamatha, but they haven't yet got to the point of, you know, where the body's become very soft and flexible and full of joyful energy, and, you know, you're kind of just a little samadhi ball. If you haven't got there yet... And you're practicing the posture. If you haven't got there yet, is that shamatha? And the Buddha says, no, that's not shamatha. That's an intensive practice of shamatha, which is similar to shamatha, if you haven't got there yet. So you can be really into shamatha practice and really be encouraged, but not be completely settled.

[71:57]

And then he says, if one has not attained this kind of shamatha and then one practices vipassana, is this vipassana? And he says, no, it's not. It's vipassana, intensive training in vipassana, which is similar to or in accord with vipassana. So I think we haven't all completely attained shamatha yet here. But we're still going to start studying vipassana. We're not going to wait... completely master that before we start studying insight. Because if we work with insight practice properly, it'll help our shamatha. So when you get into some foothold in shamatha practice, if you start studying insight, it helps to clarify some of the shakiness in your concentration practice. And I think we're kind of maybe somewhere around there so we can start looking at insight practices without disturbing our shamatha. But that will be something you have to look at If you start looking at these insight practices and they're so interesting that you get really involved in them, then you've got to cool it. They're too hot for you.

[72:59]

You've got to go work on something that you're not so hysterical about. And then if you feel calm again, relatively uninvolved again, then you can listen, go back and direct your attention to the Vipassana. Now, in classes there's not much choice because it's going to be coming at you, but... Anyway, so I'm moving ahead now, intending to move ahead to insight type of meditations before I understand that everybody has realized full-scale calm abiding. So we're going to be doing not actual calm abiding and not actual Vipassana. We're going to be working up to it, bringing them both along to try to work towards real calm and insight, the actuality of it, which is... You know, that's quite a feat. So we're practicing patience, right? We're practicing generosity.

[74:01]

We're practicing conscientiousness and enthusiasm about this concentration practice. And we're trying not to get involved in any of this stuff. In other words, we're trying... to not defile the whole project here by turning into one more greedy power trip. Right? We're enthusiastic, we're dedicated, but we're not greedy. We're enthusiastic, we're devoted, but we're not involved. We're close, we're intimate with what's happening. And I remembered what I wanted to say. what i want to say which maybe i should wait for to expand later but basically the first teaching on the middle way one of the main ways i see it is that buddha's teaching settling with our suffering you know avoiding self-mortification which is being done oftentimes as a way to get free of suffering but anyway it's a distraction from your suffering

[75:20]

and avoiding the extreme of indulgence and sense pleasure, which is also done with the perfectly reasonable agenda of trying to be free of suffering. It's not freedom from suffering. Neither of these are freedom from suffering. They're just distractions from suffering. So the first way he taught the middle way, he's teaching these people to settle in the curriculum of the course. The curriculum of the course is suffering. Middle way is like to be practically, realistically, settling with your misery that just happens to be happening. Settle with the first truth. We have to do that as a basis for our insight work on the first truth. We have to not only settle with it, but be calm. We have to somehow be calm and concentrated in the middle of suffering in order to study the suffering, right? We have to be calm and concentrated in the midst of self-misunderstanding in order to study the self effectively.

[76:23]

So that's what I want to say is that the first middle way teaching is very much about shamatha and settling into our experience. And some people are coming to me and telling me again how difficult it is to settle with the way it feels to be, to settle with the way it is for that person. It's really hard to settle with what it feels like to be alive. It's hard. All kinds of really difficult things arise for us. And to just be here with it and face it without veering into self-mortification or indulgence and sense pleasure, it's really hard. But that's what this first sutra is encouraging us to do.

[77:25]

And then when we do that, then we move into the middle way, and we move into studying the truth. You know, we're not really alone, but Sometimes it really feels like that. And it's not that it's true that we're alone, but when it feels like we are, we have to face that. Not because it's true, but because it's the curriculum. The curriculum is we're all alone, isolated in this big, cold universe. Sometimes that's the way it feels. That is today's lesson. That is today's curriculum. That is the moment's curriculum. And it's very hard to just face that without doing anything to distract ourselves or abstract ourselves, without any smart commentary like, well, this is the first noble truth.

[78:29]

So, you know, I'm pretty good. No. Don't elaborate on it. Just feel it. So, it could be as indulgence as sense pleasure to tell yourself some nice stories about Buddhism while you're, you know, to distract yourself from your suffering. Finally, I'm really practicing. That could be a sensual, you know, delight, right? Wallow in your joy of, pleasure of thinking that you're doing well. It's okay to think you're doing well, but don't use that as a distraction from feeling your pain. Also, don't shove your face in your pain. You deserve this. Get that down there and feel that pain. That's self-mortification. Don't be mean to yourself. Got some pain? You can be gentle about it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. All right. We got pain here. All right. Now are we veering into indulgence and sense pleasure? actually, you're talking to me so nicely, I think now you're distracting yourself in the other direction by being so nice to me.

[79:35]

This is too much. And that's why it's good to go talk to somebody and say, am I being too nice to myself now? And the person can say, well, are you distracting yourself by this? Sometimes being nice to yourself doesn't distract you from your pain. Sometimes being nice to yourself, you feel more of the pain. Actually, you're actually contracting from the pain, and if you're nice to yourself, you can feel more of it. And you realize, it isn't that I made the pain more, it's that by being nice to myself, I could relax and feel the fullness of it. Such a pleasant and kind way to be with yourself is then not indulging in sense pleasure. It's avoiding that extreme. And before that, you were grasping the extreme by distracting yourself from the pain by being contracted, which is a kind of self-mortification. Tighten yourself down. A miser with yourself. You can't feel this. It's a kind of miserly thing.

[80:44]

So a little bit of niceness can move you back to the middle. So I just want to make that connection between this first way of describing the middle way and shamatha practice and just basically having our experience fully. And then fully means having it and then having it without any grasping or elaboration. Get more and more intimate with it. then suddenly you can talk like you can say what the Buddha saw, you know, about the Four Noble Truths. Okay, now it's getting really late, right? So probably we should stop now, let's think. And I appreciate the questions that haven't been said and the ones that have been said.

[81:46]

And I appreciate that you're learning enough so that you're tempted to get involved in this stuff, that the language is getting familiar enough so that you're trying to grasp it. I like that's great. But do not get involved in this stuff. Don't get involved in the sound of the creek. Don't get involved with the faces of your friends. Don't get involved with lunch. Don't get involved with your body. Don't get involved with your mind. And do not get involved with the precious Buddha Dharma. Do not get involved with emptiness. Give up, have no involvements, inside or outside. Okay, we must have that attitude, that mind like a wall. And then we can enter into... trying to find out what this stuff is, ascertain the nature of our experience, the nature of our self. So if anybody doesn't think it's time to start studying the self, let me know.

[82:55]

I can slow down. But I think maybe it's about time that we can start studying the self. So again, my vision of Zen shamatha vipassana is shamatha is like mind like a wall. Vipassana is study the self. So those two sides of Dogen, you know, non-thinking and study the self, need to be brought together. Or non-thinking and study of emptiness. So, may we become more and more stable, May we learn more and more the non-conceptual way of experiencing and be calm and non-grasping. And may we understand more and more the Bodhisattva's realization of emptiness.

[83:56]

This is my prayer for us. And I feel optimistic that if we take good care of ourselves, we can keep working on this and that eventually we will realize the Mahayana. But we're not, you know, we're not going to be impatient with ourselves. And hopefully we won't be complacent either. But if we are complacent, we will try not to be impatient with our complacency. Is anybody here complacent? You are? Well, thank you for saying so, and I vow to be patient with your complacency. Are you complacent? Are you anxious? So the thought occurs to me, this is going to be fun, but I'm not going to get involved with that.

[85:18]

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