This morning I had a meeting with the priests, some of the priests at Green Gulch, and we studied for this meeting a fascicle by Zen Master Dogen called Arousing the Bodhi Mind. arousing the spirit of enlightenment. And a number of the priests came to see me and talk to me about this, and they were deeply touched by reading this fascicle. to contemplate the wish to help all beings attain complete freedom and awakening before oneself.

[01:21]

As you read the fascicle over and over again, he says, before oneself, before yourself, the best for others before yourself. This is having this wish. is called the spirit of enlightenment. And these priests were deeply touched because they wondered if they had that spirit or not. Can a selfish person have such a feeling can a selfish animal find in her heart the wish that others would attain great enlightenment before yourself?

[02:36]

They wondered, and they were touched deeply by that possibility. All Buddhas have have had and do have this spirit, this wish. Now, I said that actually, but I haven't met all Buddhas and asked them. But all the people who write and speak about Mahayana Buddhism whose teachings have been transmitted over hundreds and hundreds of years, they all say that all the Buddhas have this spirit. And in the Zen tradition, this spirit is the basis of our practice.

[03:40]

If we don't yet see that spirit in ourselves, if we haven't yet seen it awakened in our own heart, then it is recommended that we try to find it, try to learn about it, because it is the seed of Buddhahood and the seed of the Buddha way. Although we don't say it every single period of zazen necessarily, as you come in the door, we don't whisper in your ear, or ask you if that's what you're here for. Many Zen teachers of the past have said that to themselves before they sit each period of meditation. Now as I sit, I do so for the welfare of all beings.

[04:47]

I sincerely hope that they may all attain the way before me. I sit in that spirit to deepen and protect and care for that spirit, hoping that it will be brought to maturity. All Buddhas have this spirit. And in all the different Mahayana traditions, the spirit is foremost in Tibet, China, India, Korea, Japan, Mongolia, Southeast Asia, Indochina, all over. They all share this fundamental vow, this fundamental wish. This weekend I did a retreat, this past weekend, and during the retreat, towards the end of the retreat, one of the people said that during one of the breaks she was talking with a number of other people, and they were talking about various practices, like various kinds of mindfulness practice, mindfulness of breath, various ways to be mindful of the breath, mindfulness of many things.

[06:30]

many, many kinds of practice. And she said, we were wondering, you know, what is Zen practice? Is it one of these? And I said, what I think Zen practice is, what Zen meditation is, it is the fact, it is the fact that you are you. And the way you are you is exactly the same way that I am me. The way each of us is ourself is exactly the same way every other person is himself or herself. There is no difference. Each person is different.

[07:38]

And the way they're different is the difference. But the way each person is himself is exactly the same. Each person is constructed, is fabricated, arises through conditions, infinite conditions, and they're all different. You being you is not constructed. It's never constructed. It's unconstructed. It's unfabricated. It's unmade. I may do something. You may do something. But the fact that what I'm doing is what I'm doing and the fact that what you're doing is what you're doing That is not doing something.

[08:41]

Karma is karma, and each kind of karma is different. But whatever kind of karma it is, the fact that it's that kind of karma is not karma. The stillness of this unconstructedness or unconstructedness in this stillness is zazen. It has no characteristics. It is entirely inconceivable. And every person is doing the same practice. And it's not something any person is doing. It is not karma. It is absolute, complete freedom. It's going on all the time. And that is your Zazen. And as it says in the Self-Fulfilling Awareness, even if all the Buddhas in ten directions assembled all their Buddha wisdom and tried to measure the merit of one person's zazen, tried to measure the merit of one person being herself, they would not be able to do so.

[10:03]

They could measure, but they wouldn't be able to fully measure it. It is immeasurable. ungraspable, inconceivable, completely beyond all human effort. Human effort has no way to make it happen or stop it from happening. And then someone said after a while, well, before I said that, then I also mentioned that early Zen meditation was called absorption in the oneness of all life. Or sometimes it's called one practice samadhi. The samadhi of one practice. What is the one practice that all living beings are involved in? What is the one practice

[11:06]

that all living beings and the mountains and the sky and the entire universe are involved in. That one practice is that each thing is being itself, never the slightest bit, more or less. Early Zen practice was called being absorbed in that one thing we're all doing and the oneness of us all doing it. It's to enter into the practice which we are all doing together. which none of us can do alone. So then one person asked me, well, how about when I, how about my practice where I come and I sit down on a cushion and sit upright for some period of time with my hands in the cosmic concentration mudra, sitting up straight, maybe following my breath. What about that? And I said, I'm glad you asked me that question.

[12:11]

That form which she uses of sitting is a ceremony. Right now, most of you are sitting in the traditional ceremonial form of Zen meditation. But Dogen Zenji, in his instructions to his monks on the ceremony of Zazen, said that the Zazen I'm talking about has nothing to do with sitting or lying down. The zazen I'm talking about has basically nothing to do with this form, with the ceremony we're doing. He's giving instruction on the ceremony. He's telling people how to do the ceremony, fukan zazengi, the ceremony on the universal encouragement of zazen.

[13:24]

It's a ceremony to encourage zazen. And in that instruction on the ceremony, he says this ceremony has nothing to do with zazen, but I encourage you to do this ceremony," or, yes, or, this ceremony encourages zazen. He encouraged the ceremony, but he also said the ceremony encourages zazen. And I've mentioned to some of you before that the Chinese character for ceremony that is used there has two parts. One part is meaning, and the other part is person. The ceremony is composed of meaning and person together. The ceremony is a situation where the person and the meaning interact.

[14:27]

But we also say the meaning is not in the words, which means the meaning of zazen is not in the ceremony. In the ceremony we do in this room, period after period, the ceremony is a place where the person and the meaning interact. But the meaning is not in the ceremony. Many Zen students cling to the ceremony where they interact with the meaning of zazen. But the meaning is not in the ceremony. Where is the meaning? Right after it says, the meaning is not in the words, then it says, yet it, the meaning, responds to the inquiring impulse.

[15:32]

The meaning responds literally to the arrival of energy, the arrival of opportunity. When a human being brings her energy to the ceremony, the meaning responds. The human being can do something. can give her energy to Zazen. The ceremony provides a means for you to give your energy, to bring your energy forth. The meaning's not in your energy. It's not in the form. It's not in the ceremony. But when you bring your energy to the ceremony, when you give your energy to the sitting, the meaning comes to meet it. If you give your entire energy to this thing, which does not contain the meaning of actual zazen, actual zazen comes and meets you.

[16:49]

The thing you can't do, the way you actually are, which is the same way that everybody is themselves, that comes and realizes itself in your effort. Not in your effort, but in response to your effort. If you give yourself entirely to just being yourself, it responds to you entirely. If you give yourself half, it responds to you basically, I'm not sure exactly, but approximately half. If you give yourself 99%, it responds to you 99%. And in that 1% that you don't give, as they say, that's enough to fit heaven and earth in that 1%.

[18:09]

A little bit of holding back and not giving yourself entirely to this practice, to this karma, to this ceremony, is enough to fit the whole world of misery. 100%, however, is the end of misery. Not just for you, but for the entire world. Thanks for coming, Maya.

[19:24]

I'm just about to stop, but I appreciate you coming. So I'm...that's enough, I think. You got it, right? Zazen practice is selfless. It's not something that I can do. It's selfless. It's selfless practice. Selfless practice is not something that a self can do. But a selfish person can join selfless practice. All of us selfish people can give our entire self to a selfless practice. And selfless practice, by definition, is inconceivable. That's it. You got it. You understand, right? Although it's inconceivable, you understand. And although you understand, you might have a question.

[20:26]

Do you have a question? Yes? You said that if you give yourself to it fifty percent, it gives back to you fifty percent. Is that correct? Well, I'm not sure exactly, but basically, if you hold back any, it holds back. I'm surprised when I heard that, because I thought that if you give yourself to it 50%, you get back 100%. There's a place there that you don't. Because your 50% is what really holds you back. The 50% you don't give is really what's holding it back. But I guess then what my question is, is how can it be held back? By imagination. That you think you're not giving yourself entirely to your zazen. Does it require your thinking for it to be held back?

[21:29]

Isn't it... If you, in fact, are holding back, that's all that's holding you back. That's not really anything. You are always completely yourself. You cannot hold back from that. You're always 100%. Your zazen never abandons you. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, your zazen's with you. You never hold back from being yourself, ever. You're always completely yourself. And that's your zazen. And your zazen is exactly like mine in that way. No difference. None. And yours and mine is exactly the same as Shakyamuni Buddha's. Exactly the same. No difference. Our zazen is completely equal and the same, and we're always doing it together. That's Buddha's world. No self can touch that at all. All a self can do is keep you outside of it. So if the self holds back 50% of itself from that world, then it's 50% out of that world, which is basically 100% out of that world.

[22:34]

because that world does not have any half-heartedness in it, because it is the world of complete, wholehearted Jordan being Jordan, Reb being Reb. Only by our resistance to simply being here and coming from here and trusting that the way comes from here, only by that lack of confidence in suchness are we outside of it. And in fact, it's just a dream that we're outside of it. But if we have a dream of half-heartedness, if we have a dream of not participating fully in this moment of experience, this ordinary life, that dream is the dream of being outside of it. And that's the only way that we're outside of it, is in that dream. Okay? Thank you for your question. Pretty good question, huh? Yes? The meaning is not in anything.

[23:47]

The meaning of zazen is not in the thing. The meaning of zazen isn't in Sam. It's in Sam being Sam. It's not in Sam's energy. It's in Sam's energy being Sam's energy. That's where the meaning is. But the meaning is not located in anything. The meaning is everywhere. It's the same meaning of each thing being itself. So it's tricky because Buddhists saw that all beings, one way they put it is all beings have the Buddha nature. In other words, all beings have this quality of the fact that they're themselves is exactly why they're liberated from themselves. He saw that. But sometimes they say that all beings have the Buddha nature like it's something inside you. But another way of reading this is all beings hold being Buddha nature. Not that beings have it or possess it.

[24:52]

But the totality of you being you is your Buddha nature. And everybody has that. And Buddhists saw that. And he was very happy, but he said, but because of attachment, they don't realize it. It's not that you don't have it. It's just that any kind of attachment or holding blocks it. So, like somebody said to me yesterday, and not yesterday, a couple days ago, she has a son who is blind. No, deaf. And her son lives with her husband's new wife. So her son lives with her stepmother, and her son's having a hard time. So the stepmother calls my friend about the difficulty that her blind son has. And she talks to her on the phone, and she tries to help this woman, and she gives her advice, you know, very good advice about, you know, how to take care of the situation. She knows her son can't be anything but deaf.

[25:56]

She knows he has these difficulties. She understands it has to be that way. And she understands this woman can't do anything to change that. And she's very helpful. And the woman appreciates it. And she hangs up the phone and then she bursts into tears for a long time. And she says to me, I know why I'm suffering so much, because although on the telephone I gave her good advice, when I came to myself, I want it to be different, and I think I can do something about it. So we think that things can be different, and we think that we can do something about it. First, as delusion, that we think things and want things to be different, and second, that we think we can do something about it. That drives our misery. First, you just listen to the suffering.

[27:05]

It can't be any different than that cry, there's Buddha nature in that cry. The wholeness of that, the fact of that crying being that cry is the Buddha nature. But if we have an attachment, if we try to mess with it, we don't realize it. And from that place of where we do give ourselves entirely to any form, When the meaning comes to meet us, action spontaneously comes up out of that to help. Action which comes up out of not karma, not thinking that we can make the world different, but from our suchness. Then right action emerges which benefits beings.

[28:06]

And then it looks like we change the world. But the one who's changing the world in a beneficent way does not think, I'm changing the world. We deluded people think, we're helping. I'm doing this. This is my action. I'm fixing things up. I can fix this. I can fix that. This is selfishness. This is karma. But while we're acting selfishly like that, which we do all the time, the exact way we're acting selfish, being exactly the way we're being selfish, that's zazen. And if you bring your energy to anything that celebrates that zazen, which you can't do,

[29:10]

If you bring your energy to anything which celebrates that Zazen which you can't do, the real Zazen comes to meet you. One of Suzuki Roshi's stories, which I wouldn't, you know, they all say, well Suzuki Roshi's favorite story, but anyway, he would tell some stories, and they all seemed like his favorite story because he got such a kick out of them. This is one of his stories that he got a kick out of. So he told this story. There was this guy in China who liked dragons. And he collected dragons, all various kinds of dragons. Wooden dragons, papier-mâché dragons, terracotta dragons, lapis lazuli dragons, coral dragons, jade dragons, stone dragons. And one time a dragon was flying over his house, and he thought, oh, this guy likes dragons.

[30:16]

He probably would like to meet a real dragon. So he flew down to the guy's house, came into the house, you know, the guy saw the dragon and fainted. Anything else? What does it mean to talk about beings being themselves when there are no independent things? I don't understand how that's different from just saying the universe is itself, which of course it always is. So when you talk about Jordan being Jordan or Brad being Brad, I don't understand.

[31:20]

what you're saying beyond that? Oh, I'm saying that the way Jordan is Jordan, you cannot distinguish, you cannot tell the difference between the way Jordan is Jordan. The fact of Jordan being Jordan and the fact of me being me, there's no difference between those two. That's why I'm saying that. In addition to that, I'm saying that. Do you see that? I don't see how that's different from just saying that the university itself Well, I guess it's because the difference is that if you think about this and meditate on this, you'll realize that all of the universe itself, all the different forms of life in the universe are together. So it's a way for you to appreciate that all life is the same, and it's all doing the same thing. Now, you could say that's the same as saying the universe is the universe, I guess. But does saying the universe is the universe open you up to seeing that all life is one form and working on the same thing?

[32:32]

If it does that for you, then that statement will do it for you. And that the thing we're all doing has no characteristics. There's no way to tell what it is. Yes? When is it that we're not? Never. We only can dream that we're not being ourselves. We can only resist being here. And people seem to do that really well. Most people I know seem to resist mightily being in their body. you know, taking responsibility for where they are. Most people do not trust that here is the place and that the way unfolds from here. Most Zen students do not have confidence in that.

[33:37]

It is being yourself, but you do not appreciate it. Therefore, you suffer and then you run away from your suffering. Therefore, the way is unfolding from a place that you think you're not. So you don't get to enjoy the way. And the way of not enjoying the way is called misery. And the way of enjoying the way is called happiness. Okay? Yes? Could you give an example of appreciating resistance? What does that look like when resistance comes up and we can appreciate it? What does it look like? Well, you know, it sometimes looks like, it looks like somebody's standing upright on the earth, not leaning one way or another, right in the middle of the resistance.

[34:50]

No? You didn't follow that? Well, you sense that you're resisting. Yes, then you're on the right track. What next? Not next. Just resist. There's part of it, right? No next. Not just resist. No, no, not just resist. Okay, okay, just resist. Okay. Just resist means, again, just resist means no kind of like banging Bob on the head for resisting. Okay? You find Bob resisting, you know, this particular kind of resistance you discover, and then you don't punish yourself for that resistance, and you don't praise yourself for that resistance. Letting that resistance just be like it is. That's what I was saying. What that resistance gets in the way, it seems to be getting in the way of things.

[36:00]

That's the definition of resistance. That's exactly what it does. That's what it is. When you've got something, it seems to be getting in the way of something. Okay? So you got it. Resistance, an obstacle, an obstruction, a hindrance. Okay? You got it. So you say, what if an obstacle obstructs? Yes, right. So to let it obstruct just like it obstructs, to let it resist just like it resists, to let it hurt just like it hurts without adding or subtracting anything to it, without any what next, that then the resistance isn't just like a mountain being a mountain and Bob being Bob, exactly the same. And you join that by letting it be. which is never any other way. Our resistance is never the slightest bit different from what it is, and you're never the slightest bit different from what you are at a given moment.

[37:05]

Resistance is always changing, you're always changing, but at a given moment, things are the way they are. So if we sense a problem within the resistance... If we sense a problem within the resistance? Yeah, then it's probably that we aren't giving our whole effort to it. Can you say that? Yeah, well, you've got a resistance, then of course it's quite natural that you would resist the resistance, right? So then you've got a problem in the resistance. But if you can let the resistance be the resistance... then that's zazen. Zazen is your resistance being what it is. And that letting the resistance being what it is purifies the resistance and uproots the conditions for the resistance.

[38:08]

each thing being itself as it is, is the same everywhere. Things being thus, that's it. Now this practice is very radical. It is also called renunciation. And that practice that I'm talking about, this Zen meditation, is the way you develop and protect this spirit of enlightenment. It's the way you protect this incredibly selfless wish from turning into something which is co-opted by a selfish creature. When this selfless spirit is born in your heart, you take care of it with this kind of unconstructedness and stillness. If you start messing around, you'll lose the spirit. You have to start over again. Once the spirit is alive, then it's taken care of by this kind of practice.

[39:25]

And this takes it up to and sets the stage for non-dual wisdom. which is the meaning which comes to meet you when you practice like that. Okay? Looks like you can do it now, Jordan. May our intention

[40:00]

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