A monk asked Zhaozhou, in the eon of emptiness, is there still someone there cultivating practice? Zhaozhou said, what do you call the eon of emptiness? The monk said, this is when not a single thing exists. Or this is where not a single thing exists. Now if I say this is where not a single thing exists, it sounds to me like I'm bringing up the ultimate, the ultimate truth.

[02:42]

And when I bring that up, I hope that you have suffered enough in this lifetime to realize that I only dare teach this ultimate truth after you have been taught the relative truth for a long time. that you've been relying on the relative truth for a long time. Relative truth is that there is suffering appearing in this world. There is you and me separate. And this clinging to separate existence is the cause of suffering.

[03:51]

This is a relative truth. The ultimate truth is that there is nobody separate from anybody. That there is not one single thing that exists. And I hope that when I say that your mind doesn't think, that means there's nothing there. But that you understand that when we say That's when, or this is when, not a single thing exists means that there's not anything existing by itself, that there's no person existing by herself. The monk said, the monk said, this is where not a single thing exists.

[05:22]

And Jaojo said, only this can be called true practice. or the ultimate practice. The aeon of emptiness, the long time of emptiness, is a time and is a place where things don't exist on their own. Can you imagine this world where nothing appears by itself? Everything comes up with everything. Everything comes up by the kindness of everything. Everything comes up with the support of everything, and everything that comes up supports everything.

[06:25]

Only this can be called true practice, real practice. But we rely on the relative truth in order to receive the teaching of the ultimate. We rely on the relative truth that I, by myself, practice Zen. That you, by yourself, walk down the street practicing mindfulness. You do that. That's relative truth. I myself suffer. You yourself suffer. This is relative truth. We rely on this. This is our base. And it's there that we receive the teaching that everything is liberated right now and nothing's tied down.

[07:39]

And in the realm where nothing exists by itself, where there's not a single thing existing, in that world, anything is possible. In the eon of emptiness, anything can happen. When things exist by themselves, singly, only a little bit's possible. Only women can have children. And women who'd are barren, cannot have children. And this may not seem so bad that only women can have children, but if you think so, you have not studied relative truth long enough. It's hard on men that they can't have children. That's why they go to war.

[08:43]

They want some fun too. But they're stuck in being men and they suffer so much that they freak out. And women who can't have children sometimes get really depressed. This is the realm of relative truth. And the women who have children really get depressed. Because once you have children, you're really stuck in that one. We rely on that world to study the ultimate truth. In the Prajnaparamita Sutra, somebody asked Buddha, from where does the bodhisattva go forth into the practice of wisdom beyond wisdom?

[10:00]

What's the answer to that question? Correct. You go forth from the relative world Literally, what the Buddha said was, you go forth from the triple world, the world of coarse material, fine material, and formless realms, these three worlds, you go forth from these three worlds into the practice of wisdom beyond wisdom. And if you don't put your foot down fully on the earth, if you don't put your butt fully down on the earth, you cannot go forward. If you go forward without really accepting the relative truth, you'll misunderstand the ultimate.

[11:07]

In the world of relative truth, it doesn't seem like we can be ourselves. Because we think, well, if I was myself, I would just take my clothes off at the airport. Where did that example come from? Sure, I can be creative and think of something almost impossible, but will they let me do it? Yeah, but they'll punish me. I can't be myself. This is a relative world. You can be yourself a little, but not much.

[12:44]

In the relative world, if somebody gets up in the morning and they have trouble staying awake in Zaza and they ask me how to stay awake, I may say, well, try to get more sleep or run around the block before you sit or have some green tea or open your eyes or et cetera. Look at the spot between your eyebrows. Think about your death. Look higher on the wall. Chant the Heart Sutra. Chant the Bodhisattva Vows to yourself. Consider how little time you have left.

[13:58]

And so on. The grass around my house is getting yellow, so I go to the field and get compost and put it on the grass. They like it. The little grasses stand up and turn green. They like it. But what happens if there's no compost or I'm too busy to get it? Well, then they die. But still I do my best to stay awake, to help others stay awake, to help the grasses grow. This is a relative world and it's not workable, really. You may think it's not so bad. But really, it's not going to work out.

[15:31]

Pretty soon, you're going to see that, if you don't already see it. If you do see it, then you may have studied the relative world long enough to start practicing the next step without becoming as led.

[16:42]

by lack of study of the world of suffering. If you've studied the world of suffering long enough, then, like in the thing you chanted a while ago, you are aware of your lack of faith and practice. You're aware of the fact that you do not think, you do not trust this world. If you think you trust the world, do you really trust suffering? Don't you have a little problem with it? Don't you have a little doubt? Don't you a little bit think that there's some things you can't do? Don't you feel a little limited, a little trapped?

[17:48]

Where's the world where you can actually just express yourself spontaneously? Where's the world where you're not an independent agent who's trapped and tied up? You go forth into the world where you're free from the world where you're not. If you haven't studied the world where you're trapped long enough to realize that you're trapped, then if you go in the world where you're free, you're just in the world where you're trapped and you're dreaming that you can do whatever you want in that world. But you can't. You can't do one single thing, really, without getting in trouble in the world where you're an independent agent. Everything you do as an independent agent is going to cause problems for you and others. Everything. If you don't see it, you haven't studied long enough to do the practice where you can do whatever you want. Because what you want is not a single person acting anymore in the realm of emptiness.

[19:01]

When you're not an independent agent, everything that you do will be harmless and everybody will support you and everybody does support you because that's the world where there's not a single thing existing. We have to feel the world where we're tight, where we're anxious. It's there that we turn and wake up to the world where we spontaneously do the right thing. In the world where there's not a single thing, we can just be ourselves. You can just be yourself when yourself is not a single thing.

[20:07]

Our practice of sitting is just about a ritual expression of the fact that you can just be yourself. It's a... sitting says It means you can be in any posture. That's the meaning of it. It means you can lie down. It means you don't have to force yourself to sit there. Manjushri gave Buddha a little talk one time, and basically what he said to Buddha was, when people can just be people, that's what we mean by being awake.

[22:15]

When a person can just be a person, or when a person is just a person, this is what we mean by being awake. And he said some other interesting things. After he was done talking, a bunch of, what do you call it, upstanding citizens of Buddha's world came up to Manjushri and said, basically, you are really incredibly wise. You are like Just like your name said, you are like sweetness and light throughout the universe. You're fantastic. You're the foremost and utmost cool thing. And he said, oh yeah? Well, actually you should call me the utmost exponent of greed, hate, and delusion. You should call me the utmost exponent enslaved suffering being.

[23:18]

You should call me the utmost bum. I'm an ordinary person. I'm the foremost of the ordinary. So the thought crossed my mind, why don't we just disband, sell this property, give it to charity, and go be ordinary people? Why have the Zen practice? Well, this place is for people who can't stand to be ordinary people. And most people in society cannot stand to be ordinary people.

[24:21]

They need a lot of help. But Manjushri is the leader. He went all the way and became completely an ordinary person, and then he realized that really no such thing as an ordinary person who exists all by herself. This is called waking up. And when someone's having trouble staying awake Like I say, I can give him some advice, but actually the ultimate practice is if you're having trouble staying awake, have trouble staying awake.

[25:26]

It's okay to try to stay awake when you're having trouble staying awake. It's all right. And then you can be a person who's trying to stay awake. But before you do anything, first of all, be this person and feel what it's like to be this person who is stuck in this state. Being this person who's stuck in this state is your ticket, is your price of admission to the aeon of emptiness. Being this person is the way you can practice just sitting.

[26:32]

And you don't get to be this person by your own personal power. And as soon as you're completely this person, which is not something that you made up, you immediately leap beyond the bounds of this person. And one of the things that this person can do is this person can resist being this person and doubt being this person. That's what persons are capable of. So when we're in some state, if it's not really great, we think of some way to make it better. And if it's great, we think of some way to make it better, or we think of some way to protect it. And that's fine.

[27:47]

That's the relative truth. But you know, there's somebody right nearby who doesn't want to be messed around with, who's had enough of this and wants to be left alone. And the one that wants to be left alone is the one who everybody's helping. The one who's left alone is the one who everybody's helping to be irritable. We cannot be irritable all by ourself.

[29:00]

Everybody has to help us. We can't go to sleep by ourselves. We can't have a hard time, we can't do anything by ourself. We can't even feel not loved by ourself. We can't even feel not appreciated by ourself. We can't even experience injustice by ourself. We also can't experience justice and love by ourself. Everybody helps us with everything. So the world where you're miserable and irritable and unrecognized and unloved is actually the world where there's not a single thing that exists because you do not exist singly.

[30:16]

Right in your misery, you are completely supported and completely loved. And completely free to suffer. If you weren't free to suffer, you wouldn't be able to. You cannot suffer unless you're allowed to suffer. Now some people might think when they're strolling through the Green Gulch Gardens on a sunny day that they're being allowed to stroll through the Green Gulch Garden on a sunny day and might say thank you. But who thinks when they're suffering that they're being allowed to suffer and supported to suffer? Well, allowed to suffer, very few people think of that.

[31:22]

Supported to suffer, people think of that, but that means that people are causing you to suffer, and then you blame the people for it, rather than thanking them for supporting you to suffer, for giving you a life and letting you suffer. in the world where I think I can do something by myself, then when I'm suffering, I don't say thank you to the people who are around me for supporting me and aiding me in my suffering. I feel bad about my suffering. I feel trapped by my suffering. I feel entangled in my suffering because I think I can do something by myself. But when I no longer fall for that and I'm suffering, then I realize everybody's helping me because I couldn't do this suffering by myself.

[32:32]

I can't do anything by myself. So everybody's helping me and I'm suffering. But wait a minute. If everybody's helping me, how could I be suffering? And sure enough, when you realize that everybody's helping you suffer, that is the end of suffering. The expression of suffering doesn't necessarily go away, but you're liberated. You get the joke. This is the realm of not a single thing exists, where when you're suffering, you say thank you.

[33:46]

You feel grateful. And when you're suffering and you feel grateful, this is called the end of suffering. It's very close to everybody in this room. People are in this room and they were suffering at a certain point during the sesshin, and then the suffering, they don't know whether it got less or more or what, but they start feeling grateful in the middle of pretty much the same suffering they had before. What happened? How does that work? Gradually we allow ourselves, by hit and miss, we allow ourselves to be the suffering person.

[34:54]

And for us to be a suffering person, the act of being the suffering person you are, in the realm where In the realm of being what you are, there is not a single thing existing. And in the realm of being what you are, in the fact of being what you are, anything is possible. How do you turn into the realm where anything is possible? You tune in by the position you have in the relative world.

[36:04]

You tune in with your body, speech, and thought. You tune in your body, turn in your speech, tune in your thought. Get it right on your body, speech, and thought, and then the fact of them being that way is not a single thing exists. The way you are actually makes anything possible. The way you are is a momentary fleeting production of the entire universe delivered at this time and space. It seems to be something, but it's just a very soft, flexible, ready to change overlay on top of unlimited potential.

[37:12]

It's just a fleeting thin layer over infinite radiance. But we must, we must tune completely into this state. We must not Look forward to it or avert from it. Even if the body happens to temporarily be very golden and blissful, you still have to tune into that body. But tuning in means you just tune in to golden bliss and stop. You don't tune in and then cuddle it and say, yummy.

[38:19]

You just tune in to it being that way. And the same with some crazy, sick, twisted mind or some yucky verbal expression or some painful, sick body. You just tune into that form. That's it. The practice is not that golden Buddha. It's not that green monster. It's not that sick person. It's not that healthy person. It's not that nice verbal expression. It's not that mean voice. It's not those things. That's not the practice. That's not Buddhism. Not Zen. Zen is simply that those things are that way. Zen is the practice of tuning into that. You have to have enough faith to tune in exactly all the way and not a little bit further.

[39:23]

The world will not let you be any old way without consequences. If you wear too much makeup, there will be consequences. If you don't wear any, there will be consequences. If you shave your head, there will be consequences. But there's one thing that the world cannot stop you at, and that is being who you are at this moment. As a matter of fact, it is exactly that, that the whole world is now assisting you in being. The whole world is assisting you in being someone who a lot of people don't like.

[40:32]

Now some of you that's not true about, I know, but if that were the case, It is only by all those people not liking you that you can be that way. Everybody's helping you be this way. So go ahead and receive the gift exactly. Then you will receive another gift. And this is not a promise, even though you can hear it that way. As a matter of fact, just to prove that it's not a promise, I'm not going to tell you what it is. I'll just say that the practice is not your body, not your speech, not your mind. And of course, it's not the opposite of those.

[41:44]

It's not your body, not your speech, not your mind. It is just that you don't add or subtract the slightest thing from anything. And things are happening. Things are appearing and disappearing. The world of birth and death is rolling ahead. The geese are flying. The sun is setting. And you don't add or subtract anything to that. And also, you don't miss anything. Because, in fact, you don't miss anything. In other words, be yourself. Be the person who is always there, moment after moment.

[42:48]

One of my favorite stories is The Christmas Carol. And I know it's August, but anyway. One night Scrooge got visited by various ghosts. And one of the ghosts he got visited by was his old partner, Jacob Marley. And Marley was very upset. He wasn't like a happy ghost, like Casper. And he wasn't a mean ghost either. He wasn't coming to hurt Scrooge. He wasn't exactly even coming to scare Scrooge, although he did scare Scrooge. He came to help Scrooge. He came to tell Scrooge about how bad it is to not live your life fully every moment. He came to tell Scrooge how terrible it is not to practice Zen. and then three more ghosts came and told them in other ways how bad it is not to practice Zen.

[44:34]

So, Amali says, all captive, bound and double-chained, not to know that ages of incessant labor by immortal creatures for this earth must pass into eternity before the good of which it is susceptible is all developed. To pass into eternity before the good to which it is susceptible is all developed. We are susceptible to good. We can develop it. not to know that any Christian spirit working kindly in its little sphere, whatever it may be, will find its mortal life too short for its vast means of usefulness.

[45:45]

Each of us has a vast means of usefulness, vast. It's just covered over by a little thing at this moment and again by a little thing in this moment. We have vast potential of goodness and usefulness. Not to know that no space of regret can make amends for one's life opportunity misused. Yet such was I. Oh, such was I. And Scrooge says, but you were always a good man, a business, Jacob. Scrooge falteredly said, who now began to apply this message to himself. Marley says, business? Business, he cried, wringing his hands again.

[46:51]

Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business. Charity, mercy, forbearance, benevolence were all my business. The dealings of my trade were not a drop of water in the incomprehensible ocean of my business. Zen is simply the key that opens the door to our vast potential for goodness. But it's a bitter key, in a way, a lot of the time. It means you have to tune in to being what you are and how you feel and what you think and what you say and what you're doing with your body. You have to do that.

[47:54]

in order to break through this little layer of illusion which is blocking you from accessing unlimited, spontaneous, available goodness. you have to tune in precisely to whatever burning pain. Whatever it is, even pleasure, you have to tune in exactly on pleasure. You don't just sit back and go to sleep in the pleasure. You tune in to the specifics of the pleasure. You tune into the specifics of the delusion, of the pain, of the arrogance, of the confusion. You tune into your mind. You tune into your body. You don't control it. You don't improve it. You don't demoralize it. You don't put it down. You don't lift it up. You tune into it and it drops away. And in its wake comes your real human business.

[48:57]

But we must thoroughly, we must be thorough, we must thoroughly be who we are in each moment throughout the day without any gaining idea, without expecting anything for it. And if again we have a thought of expecting something, we must tune into that thought of expecting something without expecting anything for tuning into it. Just dial in the relative world. Dial in the world of birth and death all the way to this moment. And drop it and do it again. Nothing's harder. Nothing else is necessary. After that, you have a lot to do, but it's spontaneous.

[50:04]

we have some doubt. So we have to overcome that doubt and apply ourselves to this practice of being ourselves completely. I know some other stories, you know, to back this up. They're good stories. But just take my word for it, I've got more proof.

[51:18]

And I'm really almost completely convinced, and the sign that I'm not completely convinced is simply that I also hesitate to completely, carefully tune in to every moment and feel the pain and anxiety and uncertainty of this present moment of birth and death. That's the measure of my doubt, is my own unwillingness to be thorough, thoroughly, completely present with body, speech, and mind. But this I confess as my mistake and go on to try again and again. But I trust this practice as much as I can trust anything.

[52:22]

There's nothing I trust more and I really recommend it. to myself and to all of you. When I see you practice that way, I see it works for you. When I practice that way, it works for me. But there's habits to slip and to chicken out. So we slip, we chicken out. And we catch ourselves, hopefully, admit our mistake, examine it, and go on.

[53:12]

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