So is this case 13? Oh, this fall, as some of you know, I won't be here in Green Gulch much from October till December. Past the middle of December, I'll be at Tassajara, so I won't be offering a koan class. But I thought it might help to... stimulate your continued study to have a couple Saturdays where we can get together and study for a day like we did before. Now we have one such occasion arranged for the 30th of this month. And they're thinking of having one at the end of September and one in the middle of November. So you might keep your eye open for that if you want to get together to have some of those study days again.

[01:01]

The last one seemed to be good. I was thinking of doing a weekend sometime, but I appreciate feedback. If you'd like to do longer than one day, if you'd like to do a whole weekend sometime, you might let me know, drop me a note, if you want to do something longer than a day. So the introduction to this case is when fluid comes, open your mouth. When sleep comes, close your eyes. As you wash your face, you find your nose. When you take off your shoes, you feel your feet. At that time, if you miss what's being said, take a torch and make a special search deep in the night. How can you attain union?

[02:04]

So a monk asked Gyojo, I've just entered the monastery, please give me some geits. Gyojo said, have you had breakfast yet? The monk said, yes, I've eaten. Gyojo said, then go wash your bowl. And the verse, his breakfast is over, the direction is to wash your bowl. Opened up, the mine ground meets the cell. And now, a guest of the monastery, having studied to the full, but was there enlightenment in there or not? What do you see?

[03:33]

How do you feel? How do you feel, Susan? Pardon? You feel dulled? You feel dulled by the ordinary? Or the ordinariness of this case? How do you feel when you have breakfast usually? If you're interested, what are you interested in? The taste? What's the difference between having breakfast and reading a story about breakfast?

[05:02]

Whereas when you have breakfast you don't try to? Well, it actually didn't suggest that we try to grab onto the meaning of breakfast, did it? But somehow, since we're studying the koan, do you feel obliged to do so? The question that bothers me is whether there's an enlightened value. It bothers you? No, I don't really want to know. You don't want to know? It gets in the way if I... Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. You'd rather the question wasn't asked? Uh-huh. So now that it's been asked, you're bothered? Mm-hmm.

[06:09]

I'm sort of torn between what seems like the ordinaries of the response and the question and the comparing. Where's the comparing? Whether there was enlightenment there. Before you said you were pulled back into comparing. I'm thinking about the question. So where was the comparing? Pardon? Your response was to compare? And comparing is, you don't feel so comfortable when you're comparing. Anybody else feel uncomfortable when they're comparing? Nobody else feels uncomfortable when they're comparing?

[07:24]

You know, I don't know, do you feel uncomfortable answering questions that I ask? If I say something like, do you feel uncomfortable comparing? Do you feel uncomfortable saying yes? You do feel uncomfortable saying yes? Yes or no? Well, or no, but do you feel uncomfortable not saying anything? Yes. Well, if you don't mind, I'd like you to say something. You can say I feel uncomfortable being quiet. I'd like some feedback. Is that okay? Yes. So, if you don't mind, do you feel uncomfortable when you're comparing? No. You don't feel uncomfortable when you're comparing? I do not. You don't feel uncomfortable when you're comparing? I don't answer why questions. I just want to, when do you feel uncomfortable if you don't feel uncomfortable when you're comparing?

[08:27]

You feel uncomfortable with sadness? Any other times you feel uncomfortable? Is there any other time when you feel uncomfortable? Pardon? If your foot hurts, you feel uncomfortable? Is there any comparison going on when your foot hurts? Well, Don't force him to agree with me. Ladies and gentlemen, this story is about enlightenment. Face it. Now, you've got a problem, don't you?

[09:44]

Don't you have a problem now that I told you it's about enlightenment? They ask if it is or not. And I'm not saying there was enlightenment or not. But this story is about enlightenment and it's not about anything else. Now you have a problem. And so do I. Breakfast is also about enlightenment. It's always about enlightenment. But most people, even most Zen students, do not notice that. And they go through breakfast asleep. They waste their time during breakfast forgetting that this is a case of enlightenment going on. And it feels pretty good because you're dulled by the sleep of not recognizing that the great matter is before you during breakfast. And when you finish breakfast, it's with you during the wash-up.

[10:48]

And it's uncomfortable to face that because you get into comparison. You get into, well, maybe I should, where is the enlightenment? Where should I get a hold of it or not get a hold of it? And I'm looking at this problem, but these people next to me aren't. These turkeys. Pardon? Who's talking to me? Do you think I'm comparing? But what do you think? Well, you're wrong. I'm just telling a story. No comparison. Were you comparing? What were you comparing? To what? To someone else. But I wasn't. I'm not saying I never do. I just said I wasn't. It is possible to open your mouth and not compare. It is possible to do a lot of things and not compare.

[12:02]

As a matter of fact, that's happening all the time, too. And that's the enlightenment part. How do you feel? Interesting. You're interested? Did you tell us more about this interest? I was hoping that you wouldn't find it that interesting. Could you speak up, please? I was hoping that you wouldn't find it that interesting that I was interested. You were hoping that I wouldn't? I said, could you tell me more about this interest? Well, I'm interested in the fact that you say this is about enlightenment and I want to know more.

[13:12]

She wants to know more about something or other. Some people are new to this class, so you don't know about the previous case, but the instruction in the previous case was look. Look. So that's what's going on tonight. I'm trying to encourage you to look. And I'll try to give you some things to look at. Did you have some things to look at so far? Got to look at Lynn, at Susan. Got to look at Lloyd in me, Susan in me, and Lloyd in me, and Janine in me, and Jeanette in me. Got to look at that stuff. What did you see? Did you see enlightenment? You saw electricity?

[14:16]

You saw comparing? Where was it? What did you see? How did you see it? Where does it come from? How does it feel? Not good. Now, could there be some not comparing going on too? Did you see any of that? But you didn't notice that. It's harder to see the non-comparing than the comparing? Non-comparing is hard to see. Like when I talk, Janine could see my comparing. or she projected comparing on me, her own projection set, but she couldn't see my non-comparing. Non-comparing is hard to project. I just said that. Could I only see the non-comparing when I myself am not comparing? Say it again. Could I only see that if you are not comparing, if I am not comparing myself?

[15:24]

In other words, if I'm not projecting onto you. That seems like a good hypothesis. Let's check it out. Is there some other activity over there? Why did it raise under the scissors the silk from one loom? Under the scissors the silk from one loom? Yeah, under the hammer. Gold has been pounded a hundred times. What does that mean? Forms arising. What? Forms arising. Forms arising, uh-huh. What is the meaning of forms arising? What I'm trying to say is when I go between the parent and those, and not the parent, that I'm watching this needle go back and forth with the stops, then it's just sounds, and it's actually not, they just, they just made the three words work.

[16:49]

It's not big, it's only, it's just slides, I think, the choking part of the little joint stop. Can you, can you, what? Yeah. Can you hear, can you hear any definitions, Sonia? Do you hear any definitions? Is anything being defined? Is definition going on? Are heartbeats defined?

[17:56]

Is feeling defined? Feeling is not defined? It just is? Is feeling defined? If it's not defined, can there be a feeling without definition? A feeling without definition? Okay, let's have a feeling without definition. I can't talk about it without defining it. But I can have it without defining it. Tell me about how you can have a feeling without definition. What kind of feeling would that be? A sensation. What kind of sensation? I could feel more. So I think of it, but I felt it before I thought of it. I think you can have a feeling.

[19:03]

You think you can have a feeling? Yes. Can you think without definition? I don't think so, no. I don't think so either. Samantha? I just have a question about the difference between preparing and discernment. For example, if I were to say that it's a Zafir, I'm going to have to prepare the visual vision of that world and the visual vision of the Zafir. Is there a difference between that? Or is that simply the concern of the world? In order to, what were you speaking of, what do you call it?

[20:10]

What were you pointing at? How do you point him to the, this, this, this? And you try to come up with something that might be a good candidate for whatever that was. And you decided to choose Zafu, at least for a while, right? And then maybe you thought you were comparing something you have called zafu with something out there, which maybe it's a zafu.

[21:11]

Maybe it's really a zafu. Everybody agrees it's a zafu. But long story short, there is no such thing as a zafu, right? We have no such thing. But we have, inside of ourselves, we have things called selfless. And we use those things called selfless to apply to something, the various things outside of ourselves. There's no such thing as those things. But in our mind, we do have concepts of those things. There's also such things as concept, but that's what we use as a concept. We apply it easily. Some young people apply to balloons, black balloons. Or even some people would apply it to red or orange and yellow flattened surfaces in other meditation groups. They would call those zakus, too. And some people would say, no, those aren't real zakus. Real zakus have to be black.

[22:13]

So is there a comparison going on there in order in order to figure out what you're going to come up with to say what's happening out there? Yes. I think so. I think you've got to kind of like... You go in there and you check out a lot of possibilities and you say, now, which one's closest to sort of what seems to be happening? And you go for it. And then you see how it works. And by the time you're 25... You know, a high percentage of the time, if you stay in certain neighborhoods, you'll be relatively correct. If you change countries rapidly, stand on your head, over or under ,, then your guess rate will go down. But basically, we're constantly, never without an exception, everything we see is totally we're guessing that it's something that's in our head. Now, I didn't mean to get into this, but when we talked about this case, and they had this thing in the verse about whether there's enlightenment or not, and I sort of like said, you know, you got to face it, but this is what the case is about.

[23:35]

Then what happened was some people, in response to me talking like that, turned around, went inside their head and started scurrying around for something to come up with to deal with what I said. And they noticed as they were running around in their brain looking for some possible way to respond to somebody saying this is about enlightenment, they started to notice that they were running around in their brain. They didn't immediately come back with something to say to that. They don't have like, you know, a nice set thing that they can plop out there for enlightenment when somebody talks like that. That's one of the nice things about saying enlightenment is that people notice that they're scurrying around. That's why it's good to notice during breakfast that there's enlightenment going on there because then you notice that during breakfast you're scurrying around too. You're scurrying around saying, you know, this is oatmeal. No, no, this is polenta. No, this is, you know, this is, this is, no, it is oatmeal.

[24:35]

No, it is oatmeal. It is oatmeal. You don't even notice it. You don't even notice that you're scurrying around comparison. You don't notice that you're miserable because you're not just eating breakfast. You're calculating breakfast. You're comparing breakfast. Now, if you look for enlightenment, then you're going to notice even more that you're just torturing yourself during breakfast. But if you don't notice that enlightenment's an issue there, then you're going to be able to sleep through breakfast fairly nicely because you won't notice that you're sitting there comparing and that you're annoying yourself by that. because you won't notice that you're annoying yourself with it. And the less you notice that you're annoying yourself, the better you can sleep. Right? Now, who wants to irritate themselves by this thing? Well, in order to face this issue, you've got to have a fairly good diet.

[25:40]

So lots of grains is good, vegetables, plenty of liquids, exercise, all these things are helpful and certainly lots of practicing calming yourself. So as you can stand this irritation. What irritation? The irritation of noticing what you're doing with yourself. But the nice thing about this case and this class is you come in here and you read this simple little story about breakfast. I tell you it's got to do with enlightenment. Of course, the verse does too. And you can get irritated right here and be irritated until the class is over. Then you can go back to sleep again for a week through various breakfasts. Or you can follow Jiaojiao's instruction And notice whether you're eating or finished breakfast. And then after you finish breakfast, what's his instruction?

[26:44]

Wash the bowl. You know, I told you this story before. Suzuki Roshi teaching me how to count people in Japanese. If you were flying to Portland, Oregon, as he was about to come down with his fatal disease. And I'm thinking, what's this guy teaching me how to count people in Japanese for? So after he tells me to do it, I stop. Because this certainly is not about enlightenment. Counting people in Japanese is not about enlightenment, right? But after I stopped, he woke up again and told me to start counting again. And then he fell asleep again on the plane, and I stopped again and woke up again and told him to start again. Then I realized he actually wanted me to count. But even before it made it clear to me, I was still wondering, first of all, why is he spending his time teaching me to count in Japanese?

[27:45]

Well, maybe I'm just a young kid and so on and so forth, so that's about all he can teach me about Zen. I'm not ready for anything more advanced. Now, when he did sometimes give me advanced teaching, I immediately, private advanced teaching, I would always go to sleep immediately because it was so boring. So maybe, actually, the only thing he could teach me for me to stay awake was counting people in Japanese. But the problem about teaching me stuff that I could stay awake for was that then I couldn't believe it had anything to do with Zen. So I wouldn't do it. Unless he taught me three times. Then I got it and I did it all the way to Portland. But still I kept wondering, why is he teaching me using this to instruct me? But what was I doing? I was saying, this isn't to do with enlightenment. Enlightenment would be to meditate on something more, I don't know what. Perhaps something like, the meaning is not in words. So this story, you know, the meaning is not in the words of this story.

[28:48]

The story is starting to sound simple, or some other stories sound real tough. The meaning of these stories is not in these words. The meaning of these stories is when your energy comes forth to meet them. And when your energy comes forth to meet them, one of the things that your energy might manifest as is comparison. is thinking, what has this got to do with my life? What has this got to do with Zen? If I'm a Zen person, what's it got to do with Zen? If I'm not a Zen person, what's this Zen got to do with me? And frustration and anger and all kinds of other things arise when you bring your energy to these words. The words are not the meaning, but the meaning will start to appear. The first thing about the meaning is what? First thing is, the meaning of enlightenment is about what you do to yourself to make yourself unhappy. Enlightenment's about what you do to make yourself unhappy. You become enlightened about what you're doing to make yourself unhappy.

[29:49]

But it isn't pleasant to see what you're doing to make yourself unhappy. Right? Right? You are watching yourself torment yourself. And people who can't see that they're tormenting themselves are what we call sentient beings. Buddhas are those who see how they torment themselves. And they also see how other people torment themselves. That's what enlightenment's about. This story is about that. This story is about how we torment ourselves during breakfast. No, it's not about that. It's never about that.

[30:57]

Teachers don't torment students. Teachers treat students in such a way that the students realize that they're tormenting themselves. If somebody makes you think that they're tormenting you, they're not yet a teacher. They're going along with you. Already you think other people are tormenting you. You know that before you come to Zen Center. Other people are causing you problems. What you don't realize is that you're causing yourself your problems. If other people are causing you problems, you're done for. There's no hope. You can't stop them. But if you're tormenting yourself, then there's a way out. Because once you see how you're tormenting yourself, you will wake up to the fact that you can't torment yourself. that is actually impossible. And the reason why tormenting yourself hurts is because it's not true.

[32:00]

If it were true, then we should, then Buddhists would say, hey, just keep it up. There's no other way. And do it to other people too. But no, that's not the way. The way is to realize that you're tormenting yourself. And when somebody makes you think that you're tormenting them, I mean, that somebody makes you think that they're tormenting you, they haven't been successful yet in teaching you what you're doing. So, a teacher's not really a teacher when a teacher's, you know, not yet got you to turn around and look at yourself. A tree's not really a teacher until the tree gets you to turn around and look at yourself. But it is hard, the river, the huge river, the natural flow of events is

[33:16]

Look at that. Not understanding that that is me. That's a reversal to understand that that is me. And not just to say it, but to see it. But the way you see it is not by trying to think that way. The way you see it is by noticing that you're tormenting yourself by thinking that that is outside. Are you saying that tormenting yourself is thinking that that's outside, not that you're actually tormenting yourself? that is torment. There's no other kind of torment, basically. Or if you take away that kind of torment, there's no other torment possible.

[34:21]

All other kinds of torment are derivatives of that basic type. There's no other... Taking that away, there's no possibility of torment. And you can torment yourself in a pleasurable or a painful way. But basically... you're getting pushed around, you're getting unbalanced, you're getting disturbed. And if you think of the future, you get frightened by what's happening because of the way you think. Thinking is the problem, the way we think is the problem. Pardon? Then what? Then what is another form of torment? So another thing you have to do is you have to switch from then what to not expecting anything but this. For example, not expecting anything but living with this story for the rest of your life.

[35:23]

So just try on the way of living that we'll just have this story for the rest of our lives. Now you know that I've made a commitment to go through this whole book. But I might change my mind, I might give up, I might surrender. to reality and realize we can never get through this book so we're just going to stay in case 39 till i drop dead but really i'll tell you what when one when at least one person besides me is willing to stay with this case for the rest of their lives we can go to case 40. But besides me. I want more than that, please. He said he hasn't found a way to move beyond it.

[36:27]

I want a little bit more than that. That's a step in the right direction. Yes? . Say that again, please. That would be part of what would be involved with staying with this case, which would involve you staying with your problems that you have with this case. And Arlene said, and then what? And just then for dropping, and then what? Never have any future. Just live with this case for eternity. Just live with case 39 of the book of serenity for eternity. We need such a mind. If we have at least one person in the group who will have such a mind, then we can fool around and go to case 41 or 40.

[37:36]

Pardon? What if breakfast is your favorite meal? Would that be a hindrance? It would be a hindrance, yes. But still, if you're willing to stay with the hindrance of having breakfast be your favorite meal and stay with breakfast forever, then that's pretty good. All the more if you know that you're hindered by your favoritism. To stay with your hindrances. and not expect anything more from staying with your hindrances other than staying with your hindrances. Not to say, well, I'll stay with my hindrances because I know if I stay with my hindrances, they will do a flip and release me. They will, actually. That's why we recommend this. But if you expect them to, they'll never flip. They'll just keep sitting there saying, you want me to flip, don't you? Yes? Yes? Yes, staying with this case is the same as staying in the middle of the flames.

[38:45]

What did you say? It's a very good place to be. I want to know who is willing to stay with this case. You can stay with this case and still go on. Of course, yes. Right. But the important thing is also that you can go on and not stay with this case. And then if you go on, we'll waste another case. Well, I will stay with this case. You don't have to want to go on. Forget that part. I'll take care of going on. You people stay with this case, okay? And don't worry about whether we go on. I'll take care of that part. So we have a few people that are willing to stay with this case forever? I've seen what a relief that is. Now they can go on. Yes? Could you tell me your name one more time? Helen?

[39:46]

Yeah. Helen? You asked me, the first question you asked was, what was the emotional impact it had on me? And for me, it felt that I had a problem with the part, the breakfast is over, the directions to wash the book. It was washing the book. Thanks for the findings. No problem. I can see that I can eat breakfast. And so you ask, have I had breakfast? I say, yes, I've eaten. So go wash your bowl. And I don't get it. I don't get to washing the bowl. Every moment, I can wash my bowl. And every moment, I miss that part. It's like last week, you mentioned something of What was it? The two men... Of no rank.

[40:50]

Of no rank. It's always coming in and out. Exactly. Right, so I miss that. I miss... To me, it's like that is what you call... And I miss that part. And it makes me... I cannot... It makes me blank right now. It makes me want to... It makes me want to search for an answer and grasp it and say, that's not possible, it's not this, it's not that. It makes you want to ask for an answer. I can't. were ego.

[41:53]

My personality was ego. Do you know about the bull? What does the bull look like? Well, the bull is the image of the ultimate, the image of infinity. I guess I'm dead lazy to watch that bull. There's one thing I noticed. I don't know what you mean by that. It's about effort. It feels like I have to do some effort. Effort is there. It seems to me. See, I feel like there's a conflict. Do I want to make an effort? Do I not want to make an effort? Was he my role? He's waking up at 4 o'clock and he's sitting at 4 o'clock. And there's the conflict of hearts, not instantaneously.

[42:58]

Not spontaneous yet. There's spontaneous moments, but not something I say, great. I'm having a battle. It's like I'm battling with it. That depends. That's different. Right now if I would sit, I might say, I might get a little feisty. Well, let's get to this. At another time, God might say, well, look in time.

[44:10]

In between. Like, I don't know. And that's strange. No distinct, clear feeling. It's like you're hitting a blind spot, and I don't know. I mean, I don't know how I can feel about this. I feel interested. Somebody said that before. You're not used to being in the dream. No. It happens. The work is between the dreams. Can I say something about comparison?

[45:30]

When I was listening to Susan and Alan, When I listen to the column, the last part of it, the last sentence about what you're told, there's a fraction of a second where I think that I understand. I can't get over it. It's just right there. I can't get over it. And then, What do you think the monk got? What do you think that was?

[46:43]

I think you've got to understand that. I was thinking about this next question, and I wondered, You've probably noticed how much you've been trying to discern and careful in choosing whether it's good or bad, making it just something extra, or actually just discerning without a recognition. Yeah, it might be difficult choosing, not recognizing who our words are starting with, but then the thing that's extra would be, oh, this is good, or not good, or... I don't know why. Well, you know what, I think that even if you're saying good and bad, that avoiding picking and choosing, I don't think means that that's not going on.

[48:07]

Because if that were the case, then enlightenment probably never could happen because that's always going on. Has there ever been a time, at least in the last 3,000 years, when there hasn't been picking and choosing good and bad going on on this planet? Hmm? I mean, usually there's several billion beings at one time and one moment, several billion beings are thinking good and bad. I propose that not once in all that time is picked and choose to happen. I propose that it has happened and also that it doesn't happen. that it is true that people think good and bad. And it is also true that there's no such thing as thinking good and bad. Pardon? When it's dark, I turn on the light.

[49:10]

So I don't think that avoiding picking and choosing means that you close down, stop the picking and choosing. I think Buddha comes to meet the beings who are picking and choosing. I think beings that are picking and choosing and are suffering is what invokes Buddha. That's the call of Buddha. And Buddha comes to where there's picking and choosing and shows the way of not picking and choosing. But to whom? To those who are picking and choosing. And this path of picking and choosing will be met with a spontaneous path, that something spontaneous spontaneous and simultaneous with picking and choosing will be the path.

[50:25]

The path will not be another place in the midst of the field of picking and choosing. It won't change, it doesn't manipulate. If it manipulates the picking and choosing, then that's not compassion. Compassion isn't to come into a field of suffering and eliminate the suffering. Otherwise, where would it go? It is to let the suffering be as it is, because the meaning is not in the words. The words are what cause the suffering. The meaning is not in those words, but those words are the cause of the suffering. But if you bring your attention to the suffering, if you bring your attention to this confusion, if you bring your attention to this misery, That coming to this misery without trying to get rid of it is compassion. And that is using this stuff.

[51:32]

And the using of this stuff, the use of it is spontaneous. You know, like spontaneous compassion, conduction. It just starts from what's there. You don't have to come in to pick your choosing and, like, calm it or straighten it up. You don't have to make this story more or less interesting. You don't have to make this class more or less interesting. You don't have to make your life more or less interesting. You don't have to make your life more or less painful. Your life is painful enough already. But you have to be willing to work with the pain you've got and expect nothing more than this.

[52:39]

And it is a truth that there is the appearance of things which don't really exist. There is the appearance, the constant appearance, the constant production of picking and choosing. It's constantly being produced and it doesn't exist. And because it's being produced, there is suffering. So, look.

[54:07]

Look. And what are you looking for? What are you watching for? You're watching for the path to appear. The path to appear. The path of awakening to appear right in the middle of what's happening now. to spontaneously appear right in the middle of this. Not to try to make it appear, but to notice that it is appearing right in the middle of all this defilement. It's not like there's a field of defilement and then there's a path over there on the other side of it, or over next to it. The path is made up of the field of defilement. It is the total ecology of all the misery. And it spontaneously appears.

[55:21]

Yesterday was my birthday, I think, and my wife took me to a movie, without finding me in the movie, she took me to a little Buddha. And so the little guy, he's walking now, so he takes a step, and he lifts his foot up, and a little lotus comes up. Takes a step, the lotus comes up. It's like that. That's really how the path is. The lotus is popping up behind you as you walk. And why do they come up? Because you put your foot down there. And then you take your foot off, spontaneously it turns into a lotus. Picking and choosing, you just put your foot down in the picking and choosing. Just put your little foot down there, just put it down, that's it. And take it up, it turns into a lotus. But we have been not taught to walk on the earth.

[56:32]

We think there's something more to do than to put the foot down on the ground there. So we have a struggle there with that tendency. the guest of the monastery, and now a guest of the monastery, have you studied to the full?

[57:46]

Some of you people are guests of the monastery, is that right? So I wonder, have you studied to the full? Some of the people are residents, or hosts, been here a long time. So what does it mean, I ask myself now, what does it mean to study to the full? We don't, we have a limited amount of time left, I understand. I mean, I've heard that rumor, but it's just when I watch the way things go and I watch my body, I sense that there's a limit to my life.

[59:02]

And so I had this opportunity to do what? To study to the full. To study to the full. That sounds like a really good idea. To notice, to be aware of the path that's appearing right in front of us in this world of suffering. All we have to do is look all day long, every moment. That's all. Wherever we are, just look at the path that's appearing right before us. Watch it unfold. Study it to the full. In other words, go straight ahead. That's all. But, of course, that means we have to give up everything else. It doesn't mean nothing else is happening. There's lots of other things happening. There's a whole world happening all around which creates the environment for the path. But we have to give up everything but that because if we don't give up everything for the path, then sure enough, that's the one thing we'll miss.

[60:10]

All the other stuff will happen still very nicely. All the picking and choosing will go on. We don't have to worry about that. All we've got to do is give it up. But giving it up does not mean eliminating it. That's not what it means. It doesn't mean pushing it away. It means walk the path. It means be happy with this case. This case is the case of walking the path. This case is the case of eat your breakfast, wash your bowl. In other words, notice the path. This is the instruction. This is not just washing your bowl anymore. This is instruction on following the path. It isn't just washing your bowl. This is the Buddha way. There is enlightenment here. Studying to the full means that you pay attention to the opportunity of washing. It's not easy to do that. It's easy to not do it. It's easy to This is not much fun to wash bowls tonight, or it's lots of fun to wash bowls tonight.

[61:18]

Why isn't it fun like this all the time? This is the greatest crew I've ever been on. I don't want to switch from this crew. This is a good crew. This is the most fun crew. That goes on. Don't worry about that. But what is rare and what we have to work and protect is the fact that the path is happening here on the good cruise and not on the good cruise. That the path happens with these students of Zen. Even if they are not noticing this, this is where it happens. But still, There is the word. Please notice. Please look. If you've eaten breakfast, wash your bowls.

[62:21]

If you haven't eaten breakfast, don't wash your bowls. That's another part of the instruction which you didn't mention. If you haven't eaten your breakfast, eat it. But what's that? That's instruction. That's not just common sense. It's instruction. It's saying, take care of this as the path. Go straight ahead through this breakfast. And if people are talking to you and asking you to do other things, even though you talk to them, go straight ahead through that conversation. No matter what happens, let it remind you of this case, would that remind you of Jiao Jiao's instruction of walk straight ahead, of stay on the path through breakfast and dishwashing and work meeting and everything. Just stay on the path.

[63:22]

And if there's suffering, then there's enlightenment. And if there's enlightenment, there's suffering. If there's suffering, there's an end to suffering, and the end of suffering is called straight ahead. And straight ahead has nothing to do with getting ahead of yourself. You're into the straightness rather than the progress. Straight. Straight. In line with awakening. Aligning with awakening. Awakening in the midst of suffering. Awakening is the end of the suffering.

[64:36]

The path is the end of the suffering. But we don't have a path except in the context of suffering. And it isn't. It is spontaneously arising up out of it. Right in the middle of the suffering, the path spontaneously emerges. If we're a little bit off to the side of our suffering, then we aren't spontaneous with our suffering, we're moving a little off. Again, straight ahead. I have just entered this monastery."

[65:44]

Once there was a monk who said that to Jiaojiao. Now, maybe he was some monk who had never been there before, or maybe he was Jiaojiao's oldest student, who had been with him closely for many years, and he sincerely felt that he had just entered the monastery. That's part of the story too. That wherever you are during the day, every moment, you just enter the monastery. Then this will apply to you. And for you old timers, imagine now, this is the first time you just entered the monastery.

[66:49]

You just entered. You're brand new. You finally got here. You just entered and you asked for instruction. And what is the instruction? Have you eaten breakfast? And you answer that question. Yes. And what does it mean to eat breakfast? If you don't understand what it means, wait until you do, and then say yes. If you haven't, don't waste your time on no. Just be quiet until you eat breakfast. And then when you're done, say, yes, I've eaten.

[67:54]

And the next instruction comes. This is how to practice. And now... then for your life, and then you wonder, you look and you watch, is there enlightenment there or not? So what do we do in this class? We had breakfast. Did we have breakfast? Alright. Did you have breakfast? Having breakfast is the same as doing the next thing, right?

[68:57]

Pardon? Having breakfast is the same as doing the next thing. Doing the thing that's in front of you. Well, not necessarily the next thing. Maybe doing this. And what will cleaning the bowl be? Pulling up and just taking the next step. And I'm wondering, if I step off the path, if that's possible, does the path then appear before me where I step? If I choose to put the bowl on the table and leave the dining room to do something further. And I stepped off the path. Could you tell me about doing something frivolous? So I put my bowl on the dining table and go upstairs and I decide it's sunny in Willow Valley and I'm going to try to do the same.

[70:03]

Yes. Which to me is not following up with washing up my bowl after breakfast. When you set the bowl on the table, is there enlightenment there or not? Yes. Okay, then what? Then what will you do? Then if I get in the car and go... Wait a second, you're still in the dining room. I'm still in the dining room. I put the bowl on the table and there's enlightenment. in that particular action. Yes. Because something is being revealed to me. Yes, and then what happens? Then I leave. And as you leave, what happens? Is there enlightenment there or not? There's a lotus blossom on my foot.

[71:08]

Is there? Yeah. But I didn't realize that until you just asked me. So then what? So keep telling the story and see how it turns out. Is it going to wind up? Is it going to be sunny? And then what? You come back where? You come back to the temple. And we'll see if you ever go to Mill Valley in that way. I can't say whether more or less cars will drive out of here if people practice like this. I really don't know, to tell you the truth. I really don't know.

[72:09]

But I can imagine that people might go to Mill Valley for entirely different reasons. Rather than going to sleep and somehow finding yourself in no valley, it just might be that the lotus blossoms are springing up all over the floor of your car, and your car goes over the road. But seriously speaking, honestly speaking, how many times do you drive over the road with that kind of awareness? Not necessarily thinking about lotus blossoms. You don't think about the lotus blossoms coming up. They just come up when you put your foot on the floor of the car and you really sit in the car when you sit in the car. And you really think about and appreciate that this is the path and then we'll see if you start the car. You can also like get out of the car and walk back down into the dining room again. It's possible to do that. You can be spontaneous.

[73:11]

You don't have to be in a rut. And just because you get in a car and say, well, this is kind of embarrassing. Now they see me up in the lot. If I walk back down, they're going to ask me, well, did I forget something? They say, yes, I forgot my way. I was totally distracted. People do that. Sometimes I see people do that. They get all ready to go someplace and they see, I don't want to go. Sometimes the reason why they say that is because somebody asked them, what are you going for? But you can also ask yourself, what are you actually going to Mill Valley for? And just sit there and see what you see. And realize, I actually don't have to go. It's just a whole thing I trumped up. It's, yeah. But also you can say, I don't have to go, but I want to go. And why do I want to go? Because this is my path. I really sincerely feel that this is the Buddha way, is to go to Mill Valley now.

[74:11]

But is that the way you go? Or do you go to sleep and get in your car and wind up there? Without even thinking about whether you really need to go and what you're going for. I don't know. I know for myself. I know for myself that I often think of burnt places, and I realize before I start going that it was just a big dream. It was a waste of time, and I don't go. And then somebody else asked me to go for some other reason than I even had, and then I go, maybe. I mean, I'm not always that good, but... So I might wind up going over the same road, but not for the reason that I thought. which was just totally just, you know, just craziness. Unattended waste of time. Unappreciated opportunity to turn that unattended waste of time into a lotus road.

[75:22]

Nothing can't be used. You can use any kind of illusion. You don't have to think differently. You can think about going to Mill Valley. That's a perfectly good opportunity. But you have to look. You have to pay attention. Otherwise, you miss out on the wonderful story. You miss out on the story. You miss out on the life of Buddha. One time recently, I talked like this, but a little more harshly. I scared people about wasting their life. I didn't mean to scare people, but I knew it might, but I still said it. And afterwards, someone said, what was he talking about?

[76:27]

That was scary. And somebody said, oh, he was just talking about himself. And it's true. I'm just talking about myself. I'm just trying to scare myself into practicing in front of you. But the fact that I'm talking about myself, don't use that as an excuse to not apply it to yourself. Because as far as I can tell, it does apply to other people. It looks like it does. From what I've heard from them telling me about their inner workings and watching the other results, it looks like it applies to everybody. But I'm just talking about myself. And I hope that I practice what I've been preaching. And I hope that I stay with this koan for the rest of my life. It's simple enough, so it's not that difficult to stay with it. It's not that difficult to practice this 24 hours a day. Well, it is difficult to practice 24 hours a day, but it's not difficult to remember this dog. So good luck to you.

[77:28]

And since I have some people who are willing to not run away from this story, next week we can do another one, except I won't be here. I have to go away for a week. So our next class will be on the 25th. And I'll tell you ahead of time that I'm willing to do another class after Sashin.

[77:49]

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