Extending Tender Loving Care

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you very much
so this ancestor says when i a student at the dharma look at the real form of the universe
all is never who failing manifestation of the mysterious truth of to togheter
in any event in any moment
and in any place none can be other than the marvellous revelation revelation of the glorious light
this realization
so he just told us or realization
he's a student of the dharma and when he looks at the real form of things

he sees
that everything is a revelation of the
glorious light of the buddha
he says that
when he doesn't look at he didn't say but when he doesn't look at the real form he may not see that everything is the revelation revelation the marvelous revelation
of the glorious light up to togheter
he says this realization made our founding teachers
and virtuous as and leaders extend tender care
with a heart of worshipping
the realization makes it possible to extend
tender care
and a heart of worshipping to everybody
we may try to stand tender care
but we may run into some
something that makes us feel like not here not for this

when we feel like that that's because we have not received this revelation
with this revelation our ancestors could do that they steps they could extend a heart a worshipful hard to all beings because of the revelation as why we need realization in order to actually
be compassionate to every bag
otherwise you might think
no we should not be compassionate to those people to that person
my leader you know why leader
i think somebody has taught her to hate donald trump

and i can i see this my later my leader hating somebody
then i had the opportunity
extend a tender heart
a tender care with the worshipping heart because my leader who's hating
now you may seem and i'd be surprised to hear that i don't hate my layer on my leader hates
that doesn't surprise you're probably right
but i don't i almost never hate my later when my later heads
and my later does hate stinks
and now i hear a new a new property a new she's found a new opportunity for hate

do i want to do i want a realization
so that i can extend tender care and a worshipful heart to the people that my friends hate yes i do
of course i want wanna also extend tender care to my friends when they hate when they hate themselves and when the hate other sets what i
i want to do that but i need realization in order to be consistent in that

i need this the pivotal activity
ha i need to enter the pivotal activity of our buddhas in order to be able to
care for all events every place every time

so far in this life i have never i can't think of an example or i regret extending tender care
i can't think of an example or i did and when i said sorry i did that
and i'll keep i'll keep my eyes peeled
and see if i ever do extend kindercare and feel like i was a mistake

is there anything you want to say in our remaining time together this app today this afternoon

do you say disarmed them
that's not good
on conquer that
oh first first they get disarmed and and they get angry
first ticket designed and then they want to put their arms up again

you've observed something like that where it seems like he was stunned tender care and the person gets angry
yeah yeah i just sort of i was riding with my leaders big brother one time
we're riding bicycles down the gringos road
and he was ahead of me and i said there's a speed bump coming off slow down and he didn't slow down
and so and then he kind of fell off the bicycle
and when he first hit the site first hit the street he was kinda quiet
can he didn't he didn't start complaining he was pretty like okay i'll deal with this but then he slid and that's you know
that's when the gravel sorry to get worked into his skin and then he started to cry
and then i came over to him and
and he said on never ride a bicycle again he was angry and then i tried to help me said don't touch me
i standard tender care
and he got angry at me for offering
if i had not extended tender care to him he probably wouldn't gonna grab bag
but he was i think he was afraid of his own fear of as own pain
thanks afraid that if i touched him
many more pain
hence possible see where he i think it was a frick afraid of his pain that is feeling and he was afraid that if i touched him which he knew i was trying to help them but still i think it's afraid that it would be more pain and so that we went back up to where his mother and grandmother were and they also
tried to
they also extended tender care to him and he also said don't touch me
actually hurt his left arm he said don't touch lefty
but he didn't see these people offering
the the and he said and he get any he used anger to try to protect himself and it was coming a think from fear of more pain so does happen
but i regret that i offered that to him but i didn't force it on him when he said don't touch me i didn't i i said okay
and when they said when they offered him help and he said don't touch me they said okay and then he and then we let him be who he was
we stick we continued to stand extend tender care but not by offering to do anything other than let him be the way he was
give him the time he needed before he would sit where allow us to clean the wound
but it was fine he was fine he got angry at me and the bicycle he got angry a bicycle riding the bicycle the road and his grandfather who was gonna help him and then his mother and his grandmother got mad at everything
cause he was afraid of pain
and we i think
i don't know we're we're maybe we were not afraid of our pain and we felt pain
for him but i don't think we were so afraid of it
and so we kept offering this
when i was younger i felt like whenever somebody was offering me love and kindness anything went to accept it was because it was upset with myself that it made a mistake and everybody else knew that i had made a mistake say the
how to do it ah me that self-loathing
i myself that i didn't know better stop or slow down and then it just kind of phallic
really was more about
you know
yeah maybe he was embarrassed that he fell off the bike and hating himself and anybody helping him sort of accentuated that disappointment it is his his immune himself

yes it does not offer they can have said
he might have a might have but
on another way it could have happened which is kind of the way it did happen was i come over to him
and i might as i might understand anything like can i help you i might have stood there
and anda
i just attended his whatever whatever he was going through doesn't not
i just been present
at that and them unless they know would have been better but then he wouldn't have had a him to reject
maybe maybe still could have found something to rejection
i can be rejected
yeah so there's really no way that we can be that somebody wouldn't be able to reject
but still we could be offering ourselves without trying to get acceptance or rejection
that we can do and that's what can def for tender terrorists it's not trying to get in on gratitude or whatever this
like it's not wasted
you giving the tender care
even though the person isn't really willing or able to accept it
you know whenever like let's say the future you look back since
gonna think i'm here
and he and then he got several as or offers which he rejected but then he started to accept them
and he had to go through that and i feel we i think i thought we did a good job and in this case it was not that difficult to make the initial offering and it wasn't that difficult to make another offer him when he rejected it
he wasn't like oh you reject my offer will see later
there's like okay you can reject that i can understand you don't want anybody to touch you wasn't that difficult
but there's some things are really difficult
that are really challenging and that's when you really lotta realization
with the with this realization
no matter what people throw in us we come back with tender care and and then when they throw it throw stuff at us for that response we come back again
no matter how much they torture us we just come back with compassion we needed realization to do that consistently here
so i there's this to kind of stories in my mind on that i remember
sometimes tender care manifests in mysterious ways
i remember being a kid and my sister and i get an ice cream cause and i spelt mine and started crying is really unhappy my sister fell from his she spilled hers too
and i felt better
i'm not suggesting you crash your bicycle but but sometimes that that would have been pretty cool
here like
he might arise teasing
well that's okay because i if i was doing like hey you crash watch me
the other the other one is of me
wrap robins question may be of it because of you know so yes sometimes you you're you're kind to someone and as disarming and then they get scared that their arms anymore and you know and they want to re arm
and this was tough i don't have a good at this one but sometimes i see people like try to be try to extend tenorshare by almost rearming people like like ah darn that speed bump or something to to be there with the person who's mad at the speedboat and even though it's
and although it seems it is maybe it's not the best thing to to cheer them on of being managed at the faith but it does find some way of meeting them where they're at and and being able to connect with them
so that one's a little more
tricky guy was talking somebody but that just a little while ago that
oh i guess if somebody hits a speed bump in and they get mad at a speed bump you might be able to empathize with them and say i can see why you'd hit a speed bump you know didn't have done to speed bump their whatever
i think that's like i can see how you get angry at it
and then there and then there is
this thing called
oh the example of thing about somebody's afraid of something atlanteans people are afraid of something
people care for them sometimes tell them that does nothing to be afraid of
rather than either i can understand how you're afraid
but sometimes you don't understand why they're afraid
but you do see that they're afraid
so if the compassion is more like hearing that depict that they're afraid
and not saying that does nothing to be afraid of
an empathy is more like i do understand why you feel afraid
the empathy is slightly different from just listening to it
and listening to it is it is i think that that the main thing because you can listen even if you don't have empathy
even if you're not afraid of it you can listen to that person is afraid and that listening is what creates an ocean a blessing
and as a slight difference between saying there's nothing can be afraid of
and just listening to the i hear the air afraid
there's nothing that tpp afraid and and some of these teachings to you can use them to what's the word
the fear
like somebody's afraid and rather than listen to it you should you do something so that they see that there's nothing to be afraid of but had that be not a bypass you have to first listen to it
and then you can say there's nothing to be afraid of once they feel heard
and also if i see this has nothing to be afraid of
i couldn't do a spiritual bypassing myself because i don't want to feel their fear
i have to feel their fear i can just listen to it and then maybe i can also feel it and perfectly
the realization is what facilitate this kind of compassion
realization ties to
an appropriate response the realization enables the appropriate response
the appropriate response comes from understanding
that what you're looking at is not separate from you

the dispersed is that this other person
he's actually
a deceptive version of yourself it's with it yourself that in a form that looks like somebody else but you're not separate from this thing if you suffer from it than the appropriate response is
best kind of obscured
by this
by this abiding in this appearance of that this is another person
if you don't abide in the it can still appear like it's another person and into separate but if you don't abide in it you can leave it as it is like you say yourself i hear that you think that they're separate from who
we're you abiding in that note then the appropriate response comes
which is a generosity ethical conduct patience diligence somebody and is and wit and already there

pardon me whispered i wish for to i wish for the appropriate response
otherwise i wish for the active the effort that freezer beings
so appropriate response in this case is the response that apropos of liberating beings so they may realize peace
and that response comes from
not abiding in what seems to be happening and also not circumventing it because abiding is and what's happening is stressful and frightening
so then you might think oculus just not let's just get away from this that's not abide
but not abiding is not not abiding it's being in a place where abiding and not abiding are pivoting on each other
no in dealing with one's own here
same listen to it yeah
the competition i was talking about a bud
aa meeting other people's fear and not kind to talk him out of it
but listen to it no matter how
the of something that's definitely never gonna happen could tell him that just never going to happen
but i don't recommend that i recommend listened to them tell you about something are afraid of that you know will never happen
still listen to their fear
listen to their fear creates this cushion a blessing
but really is this this this example cape are using a or somebody else as an example of how you should do with yourself
he shouldn't talk yourself out of your fear for and like your phrase them you to take so does not need to be afraid of there's nothing to be afraid of walking around like that is not compassion
so and also he didn't say there is something to be afraid of there is something be afraid of i wouldn't do that either i was just listened to somebody hears afraid their sphere here and then can i listen to that
a lot of people can get the hang of it on themselves why staples imagine a child and then i watched them do with a child in the conversation and i noticed that they try to talk to child out of it
a lot of sometimes
so in newton to try to circumvent it and don't try to reinforce it just listened to it and the same as yourself don't try to circumvent your fear and don't reinforce it don't says there's nothing to be afraid of and don't say there is something to be afraid of that's that's that's down the line that
gonna talk first aid is listened to it or observe it
so we have a room upstairs there's these statues a body surface and their body sought but whose name is listen
to the cries observe the suffering
and that's all they are they're nothing more than that
they're just listening to to the suffering and that's listening
creates the world a blessing
as inside and outside and those two are inseparable
but sometimes you can't do it this way so let's try it this way for they can't do it this way so try it this way
try this side of the pivot and then you can do the other side of the pivot

and that ah that listening is possible with realization and that listening if the realization is there for listening develops blessings so that the realization can can come forth and when the realizations their than this kind of listening is a natural right
response to everything
in the meantime i can train myself
by basically watching myself listening and see if it is wholehearted and welcoming feedback on whether i seem to be wholeheartedly listening or not
inviting feedback
j did i listen to you not just know
and as somebody says know and see if i can welcome nap
but sometimes i made me notice without even asking i think i've kind of held back my listening just then i think i'd tried to talk the person ottoman or divert
go in of circumvent this suffering that was been offered to me
so what if i notice that than i practice confession
i confess i tried to circumvent the suffering what you just offered me i tried to get around it tried to ignored tried to distract myself from listening to it for i tried to talk you out of it i confess it and i'm sorry
and this confession of our
lack of faith and listening
an are apologizing for our lack of faith and practicing listening melts away the root of
transgressing away from this kind of listening
and this is pure is a simple practice is simple but not easy
it's not easy to notice when we feel like we didn't really listen and then noticed what it was so sorry about it and if we do say so but that simple practice is the true body of faith the true mind of faith
for body surface

once again
thank you so much for another great day i'm glad i came
i'm so glad i've i've never regretted coming to these issues