Facing Change and Realizing PeaceĀ 

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a little bit about this class i ever a memory that
towards the end of our last meeting
people from sacramento we're not here right so you didn't hear about this
we had kind of up
little bit of a homework assignment
to work with some form or forms
that familiar to some of the people

do you remember thing about that john said gibraltar
he brought a form towards the i remember remember me suggesting that
we have got be kind of our work during the week
what do you recall about that

he moved me say something about them
a working with formed like marry your other commitments he said so that brings up the aspect of
i'm working with forms that with committed to
john kind of brought up form in relationship to discipline
and so then there's the issue of
in our in our world of appearance
a forms
that we commit to as a way to practice discipline
with a form
so one story is that everything we aren't everything we know
his appearances it's that english or are appearances everything we know all we know his appearances at that story
which is it another appearance
or form
and i saw the issue is a working with some forms
that we commit to work with
and we can commit to work with every single form
where we could start with some
and committed out like our marriage
i'm or other kinds of work
but that that we commit to the work as an opportunity for discipline and again the word discipline have the route
the dose yeah day latin which means having to do with learning so disciplines are things which help us learn and this case it would be to learn the boot away
to learn the way of peace and freedom
the use forms to learn
the path of peace and freedom
so one formed a form that often suggested is the form of but the appearance of myself
to commit to work with the form of a self
another form would be again as i just mentioned
a relationship that we're committed to gonna be another form
and of course in a relationship that we're committed to the self's right there
in a commitment to the other
oh and the other could be the other person or persons or can be to the relationship
again there's a story this says not only are all we know appearances but appearances
they they are other they are external they have everything appears to be external
the self is in the context of other
it commit to practice with them
again using the image of the road in the river ah all these
all the forms appear on the road or in the world of the road the road the road is a summary of all appearances and the river supports the road and by
disappointing ourselves in relationship to the appearances the road
by approaching the road by approaching the appearances in an appropriate way we can realize the river
and that would be the path to realize freedom from the road our freedom with the road because the road is where the changes
that disturb us occur
on the road things looked solid and when solid things change it's kind of a problem to solve things shouldn't be changing
when some stat the road is the realm of substantial things substantial formed like
this person that i'm committed to or this person and not committed to but in way both of them are substantial and if i commit to them then the changes are much more consequential
or much at a bigger impact
one time i went for a ride with someone a woman who i knew quite well but who was not my wife
i do not have a really close relationship with her first time i ever wrote in a car with her and she picked me up
i think maybe maybe not maybe we went together from zen center from the san francisco zen center into the golden gate park in san francisco and we went to a place called the arboretum when we walked around in the arboretum
and we were done she
as he was going to take me off to her house for tea
anne and her house was
west of the arboretum
so we've gotten a car and she drove east a long ways
and then she turned around
it are going west
and then she turned again and went east and then she went around your went west again and finally got to her house and i was in the car and i was thinking
this is really an unusual way
but i was not upset with her because i did not have a committed relationship to her

i don't have that reason but of kind of the reason
if if i'm riding with my wife you know and she doesn't drive
when in the way that i think is most appropriate
it has a big impact
i may just a slight you know variation in the true path
buddha would i think of the true path a slight variation in that
with somebody that i don't make a commitment to
they can drive all over the place
and it may not bother me
ice i think that that person is substantial to but the commitment brings out the substantially of the driving
brings out the substantially of the correct path
on the way over here i drove
on a road
the for i not committed to practice
i committed to the road and i committed to practice with the road
i put committed to practice the way i've been recommending to practice with forms
in such a way as to realize freedom and peace understanding freedom and peace
which yes
well first of all to commit to what you're working with
and then you'll be generous and ethical
and then
the intelligent about those practices and be diligent about relaxing and being open to the form and being playful with it
in order to
what in order to be creative
and in order to understand
i could have just say well i commit to drive the car from here to berkeley and i commit to drive the car
yeah not
generous and ethical and patient way that would have been enough
i'm looking a wound
i would have been enough but that would have been enough
and fortunately for you and me i i i came during the traffic jam
when i was first driving i was i was thinking i'm driving know i look at the guard rail that i'm driving looks like and driving a little bit faster than walking
and then i thought and i discovered that actually i didn't have to serve guess i could do so i could look at the speedometer
the like this phenomenon tell me where they were always vanilla and with six miles an hour and then sometimes it was for
and occasionally went up to nine and not too many times did to go to zero
but i was doing my homework i'm not criticizing you if you didn't understand on assignment but i thought
we're supposed to be working with some form so i do my homework on the way over here since i was driving i thought i'll i'll have i'll work with the form of driving on the road and our practice with the road and the driving and of course the other cars
and i thought well if i practice generosity that would maybe might be that i would let people in
if they want to get in
and i wouldn't try to necessarily get myself to berkeley before anybody else
particularly the people around me
and for a while and it and also decided sort of not to change lanes in order to facilitate my you know my get into berkley faster than somebody else like move to this linen this person's in front of me and and if i change lanes like i move
ahead factors in the person who of me
i was helped at the beginning by a person in a cadillac deville
this license plate was read a number seven actually read a star seven and i was kind of happy to riding behind rida star seven
and then somebody wanted to give between reader in me

they didn't exactly ask and me and then give me a chance as they go ahead they distort zip in there and then i remembered that i was practicing generosity with the form of driving
in this lane and i let the person go however i did feel somewhat out of touch with reader
i can still read a c reader but to do with the it was a big black truck and i could hardly i to see a little bit him the the white cadillac up ahead
and then narrow things moved along and sometimes the person moved away and i was i was close to read it again
and then as we approached what's the last is the last exit last san francisco ask exit which is fourth street but what people do at that point is they get in the lane to exit the for street
but they don't accept

they did zip along that exit lane and get ahead of everybody else some of the people actually do exit
i wasn't like counting but i made by percent actually like going to expertly and then go off the boys people but the other one just move into the side lane at that at the last exit in the zip ahead of everybody and then they wait and as people to let them in ahead of them
that's quite i was difficult for me to watch these people pull out from behind me zip ahead of me and then try to get in front of me
and in front of everybody that they got ahead of with sort of difficult to stay in the lane and regenerative sake
yeah go ahead run it get ahead now with me but all of these people it was difficult i was having troubled because i committed to stay in the lane
and then really decided to change lanes
not to go to the exit lane but got sort of to the to the left
and then i felt relieved in went with reader and i did to see these people zipping by me anymore
if more comfortable
but i felt like i kind of
violated my commitment
didn't you stay in the lane
and i realize also that i had to actually probably eventually move over to the left in order to go onto
on why highway eighty east i'd eventually have to change lanes anyway so i used that excuse also to change lanes again but i i actually had quite a hard time working with got form there was an opportunity
for generosity and it was difficult to actually tacky feel generous towards these people who are budding in line ahead of everybody
and to be ethical towards of not look you know not looking down on them as robbers
of course not hate them not slander them
some people are attempted to kill people in situations like that i was not emptied by that when betty where it's another precept
and not to sorta like beat em out
and you know get ahead of him and
all these practices there was no opportunity that i could see to get intoxicated
not my situation the way
and there was not to to miss you sexuality that i noticed but anyway
there was i was i was struggling with being ethical and the situation was actually a a strenuous practice
because i because i i wanted to work with a form of my life at the moment and i committed to that and committing to it made everything
more consequential i made me more aware of the consequentialism but you know what it really made me aware of what myself
have we really aware of myself i could feel the impulses
very strongly because it is commitment i was no longer primarily interested i was no longer primarily interested in getting the car to berkeley i was concentrating on the practice of driving
and it made me so aware of myself and aware of my shortcomings are aware of how difficult it is to do these practices with the commit the form and then we haven't even got to a new course patience is is a big part of a to there was discomfort in the situation
my back was hurting a little bit too
fortunately i i left early so i wasn't like worried about can be late for class didn't have that stress
and i actually was kind of okay with taking a really long time to get here i knew that this might happen
i i accepted that before i actually went to san francisco i went to emphasise got to do another commitment which was to help my daughter on pack bags boxes
because she just moved to san francisco i knew that i went there to have to go to berkeley through the traffic jam and i accepted that and then when i got there i said oh here's a good opportunity and it was
but in this story
i didn't hardly even got to the part where i'm saying to relax
to relax and be playful
with the situation of being in a traffic jam
it's hard to get to get to being playful when you're in a traffic jam
especially of your because of the playfulness really goes i mean that kind of playfulness that i'm talking about is a playfulness of based on being ethical not playful
you know in a state of intoxication
not that kind of playful playful when you're sober and playful way here
careful and conscientious
and patient with the traffic again i thought if the traffic just flows
in your less so i'm less aware of myself
combination of this commitment in
and the traffic jam made me very aware of myself
it all of my impulses
and it was actually pretty hard work and i'm telling you i kind of humbled
by in the sense yeah i'm humbled by the level of my mastery of the discipline of driving a car
thanks for coming
i'm driving a car in a traffic jam
the tabular with the practice i actually
i i actually hardly i can't really say i got to the playfulness i confess i will feel like i really got to the playfulness but i was very aware of the player
the player was not yet playful you can be a player player but night but playful right to me up ah what
say again
with read it was kind of playful yeah
really helped me out
especially especially that it was a cadillac was helpful and actually read it was the license plate right
but the person driving i think was i'm a man
i'd already know
but whoever whoever was driving read at that and start seven was not changing lanes all the time and not trying to get ahead of everybody is a pretty
consider it
once again when the traffic flowing
i could feel that when the traffic flow you you know you i'd have the tendency for the mind to move towards the driving because you are actually going some place now
and you lose track of the self that's in the driving
get sort of you lose yourself in the progress but when there's no progress
in the activity in more work i'm more aware myself when i'm not getting anywhere
when i'm not going anywhere
well that is boring thing going on here me
here's another example
i'll try to restrain myself by this example in this example not by this example is example isn't going to restrain me trying to restrain myself and telling you this example
he thinks it's a by movie called jiro loved and jiro dreams of sushi
it's about an eighty five year old sushi master
who has a
as a ten stall sushi restaurant in our one of the subways
and tokyo
and no one could say it's a good sushi restaurant but i would say that
i just want to point out that this man has been making he says he's been making sushi since he for seventy five years i guess he started we use ten years old he got into a sushi restaurant somehow as an apprentice
he says i'm at work making i've been working at making sushi for seventy five years
taxi stopped riding a bicycle to the fish market
so he's making the sushi
anna and one point maybe it maybe more than want he said i love i love making sushi i'm so happy when i'm making sushi
here is a form sushi making
which he
which he's committed to
and he works generally from five in the morning till ten at night
he he likes to work seven days a week he doesn't like vacations it has no i do it himself he's happy when he's making sushi the only time he misses his when there's a funeral
or some other big event you'll go to otherwise would he likes to do is go and work with that born
when people first start making sushi as an apprentice you they don't let you touch the fish i mean you can
do anything with a knife you can't make sushi
what you do so he do stuff like you massage in his in his situation you massage the octopus
you must you massage the octopi with your hands you do stuff like that for years and years
before you can actually like start learning to cut
friend of mine it out carpenter carpentry when he went to study carpenter in japan for the surfers six months or so all it all he did with sharpened blades
just rubbing blades over wet stones for six months
and after that he just plain for months
part of this initiation into studying a form
is to on encountered the part where you're not making any progress where you're not doing you're not getting anything done you just with yourself
it's just you and yourself
and you and you're doing something but what you're doing is not to do the thing
but to do something where you don't do anything where you don't accomplish anything so a thrown back on yourself
but without something like that we are not thrown back in herself and herself goes upward
which is entertaining
so in my here's is great master the only problem with with the whole thing is is this is the fish
these beautiful fish as i am either will problem with that
maybe he does too
i didn't hear him say thing about this but his son he his two sons years or older son and a younger son they're both his disciples the older son will take over his restaurant his younger son has his own restaurant
it's older son is now aware
that there should be ethics about fishing that you shouldn't catch the little fish
you should let you should only catch the big tune if you catch a little tuna
the little tuna don't then reproduce you have to somehow just catch the big tuna
so his son is is a said some things about his awareness on the ethics of the fishing business even other nine the fishing business they do by the fish
so the the one problem in this master this person who
i really feel that general practice generosity
that to get me to get to be a sushi chef which is called a i wanted a gold
show koonin is shocking inertia
you know echo
anyway to get to be a sushi chef you have to spend a lot of time
it's been many years training
i think like ten
it takes longer to be as sushi chef them to be in japan than to be you know
get a phd in medicine
at you know minimum
and so you have to be very generous and patient and ethical if you're not ethical the teacher will
you know terminate your your friendship so he went through this long apprenticeship
and the man the man is very relaxed and playful you look at the way they work their hands are very relaxed
very relaxed hands and they worked what and they stand all day long
the people who are doing this they've gone for years they've been standing with relaxed hands and they're playful and their create a pieces
he's extremely creative
when you when you see just looking at these at the pieces of sushi there are so beautiful
they really are works of art which even an untrained eye like mine just consistent it's amazing
a form
which is which he is a master at in which he loved to practice he's happy
he's at peace when he's doing this
but then there's a problem of the fish
what i have

some of you have actually talked to me
outside of class about a form
the do that you could work on that you are working on
a former forms and so now with these two stories of my exercise today with just driving and i could tell you but other forms i have but some other time i work with a number of forms
but i'm telling you today i confess i'm not a master driver
today was like might is kind of an apprentice and a driving mastery and the apprenticeship what they do in the apprenticeship as they put you in a traffic jam
to see how you doing it when you're not getting anywhere
how is really challenged
i confess that to you but i also felt good because i felt like i was doing my job i wasn't just drive in the car i was practicing
i was disciplining
this person this self and i was very aware of him in it and i was generous with him so i'm not saying he didn't do well i'm just saying he was humbled to see how he did
he was humbled by saying
the he was little bit bored being so much aware of himself
i did not turn the radio on
i did not put a c deal to distract myself from being with myself i don't know when
i can listen to music again in the car
in this traffic jam people did not pick out driving too slowly

but today for the sake of our class i felt like i shouldn't be entertaining myself
distracting myself from being with me in this car and as the only entertainment be me the entertainment was me driving the car that was the show
and i was not very fun
and that on
it was decide you know one of the size i forgot what it was bonuses go with the flow than something was in brackets in the go with the flow is another sign which said
it was for some casino or something have fun

those of you who drive from san francisco to the east bay will be able to see those two sides next time
maybe at a high speed
okay now
i'm not the word assignments right but you i offer you the homework
formed to work on between now and next week
try to practice with it
try to be generous with it really careful and ethical with a patient with it diligent with it
and relaxed and concentrated jiro was very concentrated
you know how to use of knives right
scrape the scales often you know it's just amazing how concentrated they are
how careful and again you watch their concentration their hands their bodies very relaxed and flowing
they're not pushing hard through this do this
material they're not rough
a strong and gentle appropriately
please do something to work on
do these practices
it could be something
more traditional then you can be like sitting i've also been doing that this week i lost it but that
is something you know i'm more used to
however i have been
i've been working with that form in a different way this week than usual
and if you remind me i'll tell you next week because i want to stop now and ask you if you remind me of t about the difference in the way i practiced the sitting this week than the way i did usually but today i not want to stop it and invite your
your response
to what else to what i've said are to your life i'd liken by your response to your life marianne and carmen
say again when when you think about applying these principles to your relationship with your part
dinner yes
so you're having a hard time applying what i'm talking about to relationship situation okay so ah
we could be back in the car i used the currency example of where you have a committed relationship it's it's quite different to drive in a car with somebody you have a committed relationship with than somebody you don't
can you see that
are you taking a walk with somebody who have a committed relationship with
it's it's different because the kinda committed relationship you are committed to work on this relationship right the other person if you're not comfortable with them in know they're gonna be gone in ten minutes or half an hour you have to deal with them plus then maybe they don't know many commitment to you either
either for example they're not committed to read your mind
whereas a pretty if you commit to somebody after why you think they can read your mind
pocketed how could they do that
but you don't think about you don't think a street don't expect strangers to read your mind do you
no and what i just said you might say why i don't always talking about but still i'll say it again if you're really committed to somebody and you it
a new practice that commitment for a while if they do certain things youth you might think how could they do that
don't they know that that would bother me that makes sense for you
you don't expect people you don't know to know that doing certain things might bother you
but if you told someone one hundred times to something bothers you
and then they do it you have trouble understanding how they could do it
but you've told him one hundred times because you have committed relationship
some people you'd tell three times when you say i'm outta here by by some people you'd tell hundred times and you stay there because you're committed but then when you tell him one hundred times in the still don't
it seems like he never said it to them you
it has a big impact right
so that's one way if you have to give a committed relationship okay so
number one he wished to continue to be how to come in your relationship
number two you wish to practice generosity
where'd you say
did you say he say it's tough to be generous towards the person year yeah sometimes or maybe even like often
sometimes or maybe more than sometimes maybe not always but sometimes
so the first step in practicing in a committed relationship after commitment the basically the first step is to be generous
again if you're if you're a sushi apprentice
i wish to be an apprentice the teacher says well would you commit to practice for six months yes okay well then just do this thing for six months and then how do you how would you practice generosity without assignment you would say thank you very much i have no complaints and you would actually welcome that boring assignment for
six months day after day you would do that but actually wouldn't be difficult
when most people have trouble doing the same thing over and over
when most children children can do things over and over over and over and over and then they want to do something different and they can't have a certain point they're done with that
but to actually do something over and over six months is not that easy
the people or frowning as did you not understand what i'm saying
you wanna be a sushi master maybe and you get assigned to do something which you can barely see has anything to do with making sushi for six months
would it be difficult to be generous towards that as they thank you very much to value walk him that it would be in a relationship
if you're not committed to it it's not too difficult to say thank you very much but once you're committed then at the days go on being generous is difficult if someone you who you're committed to does something which you find very uncomfortable like i don't know what
something you find uncomfortable
you know they don't put away their clothes are they don't close the door or they make too much noise when you're trying to sleep etc etc
again if you don't live with person they're not in your house making noise
if your neighbors making noise it affect you differently than the person who you are living with where you committed to making noise it's harder maybe even to be generous and anyway with both of them on my feet generous so the first practice i'm talking about to apply to year relationship that you're committed to is to be generous is to well
welcome what they are and what they are is sometimes painful and shocking
i should say what we imagine them to be is painful and shocking the conscious construction of them
the image of them is difficult to say thank you to that's the first practice is that hard sometimes
so you have trouble applying this tier the that relationship that's normal that it's hard these practices are simple it's simple for me to practice generosity driving over here it is simple it was simple and it will be simple on the way home to it is simple but it's hard
it's hard when these people are zipping ahead you know actually breaking the law to beat to be in his exit lane and then pulling in and they also call crock costs crossed the white line to do it up they go so far people are breaking the law trying to get ahead of me and the other people it
hard to say thank you very much please go ahead it's hard when people are putting in front of you especially when they do it before they even give you a chance if if they compensate would you please give me that yeah sure go ahead go ahead of me but when they don't even ask than they missed you missed the chance of giving it to them separate retro
giving is not always easy
but it's almost it's usually fairly simple a lot of the times is really simple
like letting people go before you in all kinds of situations waiting in line
many people go it's simple but hard it's difficult then there comes to being careful
be careful and again with somebody you're committed to and close to you kind of think you don't have to be careful with strangers you might think you can be careful but with somebody who you live with and you committed to
be careful
like when they save something that you find insulting be careful to not believe that what they said was insulting
the reconsider it that would be more careful wouldn't it rather than
i feel insulted you insulted me that's not so careful as i had this image of me being insulted
got just what i think they might not amended to be insulting
now be more careful wouldn't it but with somebody that you don't know you might be reconsidered a minute but with somebody you're committed to
it's even harder to do what you really want to do which is to be really really really respectful which means look again
it possible always be respectful and other words if possible always look again
you see the person and then okay i see that now look again
looks like john who i wonder who it is
one second let's take a second look here let's have a second opinion that's respect
that's one aspect of being careful
and be gentle
and be gentle when other people are not gentle to me
and so on
it's that difficult
yes and then be patient
be patient with the
and have just the hardship you know
like the day i went to san francisco to help my daughter on pack it was kind of hard part of reason i went there is because she's got this little baby so it's hard for to do anything because you have ticker the baby at the same time you're in packing so
in the babies in room having a little hard time this is not very entertaining for her either
it was hard
but that protect it was hard and i did the hot i did that hard thing for about four hours and i really felt good that i did that hard thing and i was patient with the difficulty and she was patient she was having a hard time to and she was patient with the difficulty
yeah and let the grew both pretty generous were both pretty careful sounds good but was i relaxed i've having trouble viewing relaxed
was a playful i was having trouble while little bit when i was playing with little girl sometimes gosh
when you when i could stop the unpacking and go take our little girl the night then i could be more playful
that wasn't so hard
but then the little girl starts getting uncomfortable
know starts crying
to relax with that


well that's that's exactly what i'm talking about for traffic jam your and traffic jam with your son and you don't know if there's ever going to be any movement
there's chain ah
the consequences the gravy if you're in if you understand a traffic jam what my daughter called me ones from l a she said i just wanted to talk to somebody because i
i'm in a traffic jam
the nobody's moving and in the other side the freeway nobody's moving either she says i feel like i'm an end of the world
that would be you know if we actually had to stay in the car never get out that would be a big deal
but that is our life situation actually we're not gonna get out
it's not gonna happen we are stuck and were consequentially stuck
we are and it's kind of an illusion that we can actually get outta here
and then you're going gonna go someplace where there's not major consequences
where we live is a place that we can't get out of in the and and that is a consequence the consequent were in a consequence which is that there's going to be more consequences than we can't get out of consequence land that's the road consequence consequence consequence
and we're now the proposal as we can be free
with no progress and this by the way nothing that this man said which i really had problems with was he always thinking of how to improve his art system always thinking of how to improve to make it better
when and but but maybe it maybe he is always thinking about making better and maybe he realizes that it doesn't get better i don't know i could not act he was i couldn't talk to him
so this thing about about improvement
is this is tricky because it can turn into not being generous
right now it's difficult to be generous to be stuck in a traffic jam to be stuck in a relationship where there's no progress it's difficult to be generous but if we can't be generous when there's no progress
we can't be free
if we can't be generous in relationships with is no progress we will not be able to be free now if progress happens we say all great and progress that happen
the person made some progress my relationship managed in progress
how nice i agree progress is great
nice did i got here
if i hadn't been on there would have been consequences i don't know who i could have called the tell i wasn't going to make it
seven nine eight
five one one five

by ten
seven nine eight five one one five i would have called charlie and told charlie would you please go to the yoga room and tell them that i'm stuck
i'm stuck in a consequence the consequences i got in a car and went on the freeway and now i'm stuck here but i still love you guys i'm just not going to be with you tonight
and here i am in this relationship with somebody and there's no progress
this wonderful boy is not moving forward in his life and i'm here with him not moving forward with him
and i'm really trying to say thank you very much to have a life like with him
and that i say to me that is the way to freedom if i if i can't do that
i can't get freedom and isn't that difficult to do
in a in a in on the freeway with a child that we want them to become you know more skillful and happy isn't that difficult
friederike is it is not easy to realize it takes a lot of work the first step while for step you want to second step is be generous to the current situation
a paper if people are going forward and making progress fine i'm not against that
and if you can be generous towards it i would say your generosity towards progress that's the path to freedom but when the progress stops
if the gratitude if if the generosity stops than the freedom is stopping
it wasn't that difficult my situation today wasn't as difficult as to have a child that you want you know to be happy
you want your child to be happy you want your child to me free you want your child to be at peace yes of course you want to tell to make progress it's not the same thing
we all may be able to be free without making any progress
it's possible
if we can be ourselves completely we will be free
but it's kind of boring to be yourself moment by moment with no entertainment
with no entertainment like progress progress or how entertaining i became a better sushi master today i became a better husband i became a better father i became a better zen teacher i became better than student
that's pretty entertaining and i'm not that difficult to welcome
but how about
no progress
even going backwards and getting to be a worse student
is slightly more interesting than you know just by being yourself
i didn't really become a worst driver today actually
and i didn't become a better driver today i had troubled being the driver i was
all the way over here i was the driver i was and i was making no progress really
that i could see
like go
i love to you i'm not saying you can't make progress i'm just saying if you're not and oppose you love or not you can be with them in a way which will
promote peace and happiness
even if there's no progress
which the and even if there is progress
if you and your son should live one more day
and he knows that day with you that you were
so happy and so at peace with the wonderful thing of him being your son
then his life if he understands that
that's the greatest gift you can give him
and he wants to know will she loved me and appreciate me no matter what i am even if i do think she doesn't like
it's not the same as liking it's that new totally welcome it
then then there can be free him
at a tar
when you could say well as improved
to go from being an apprentice where you having trouble you know being grateful to be a master
where you're doing all this artwork all day long
but i think the master i think another way interpret to give him the benefit of the doubt is to be a better and better at his art i think means
that he keeps being challenged to do is art and it keeps being hard
not that it gets easier and easier and not that it gets harder and harder
but that he keeps getting challenged to make sure he can really still doing it
deciding to make change
what i did today i made a change
i've gotten the car and drove to berkeley during a traffic jam rather than usually i come not during a traffic jam
because i'd rather not spend a long time sitting on the freeway
with a car giving off
hydrocarbons so i usually come at a time when i don't have any traffic
but today i decided to a differently
and what did i find out when i did differently nina
when or if i know by myself

yeah i i i hadn't deal myself in a different situation and i've got a whole new take on myself so doing things making changes in the way you do things is really good like when you drive from one place to another like from san francisco to
berkeley i think it's does not much choices of which you go over
you know you could you could say well i'm gonna go to over the san mateo bridge this time so i think making changes his is what do you make a change for are you making a change to as a work of art are you make a change to avoid difficulty
a change i made today was not to avoid difficulty i knew i would have more tries i knew i might have more trouble you know i actually thought that the hot cross my mind i thought maybe sometimes at four fifteen in the afternoon the roger just happened to be clear and i'll just like zip over i was kind of up for
i can tell me okay yeah
would you say so it get zapped sometimes

sometimes is a highway patrolmen that forces people off
oh right yeah so that and then down to his job
yeah and then and then we'd see can he can he do that all day long for month after month
could he do that you know
anna and maybe he could and that that could be his art
you know if he had done that i would not have i wouldn't i would have welcomed him the i would say okay i i accept that you're not live people do that
it's the motivation for the change and i'm talking about you can make changes left and right but what's the reason
is it for your heart
is it bring your creativity and freedom
or is it to avoid challenges
yeah it's up near the wanted to size
what again
that's why you're indecisive
because would
there's a lot of what
yeah we are very thoughtful creatures and i'm talking about a way to tap into that
to ask myself
you know what am i come to berkeley for in my coming here
to practice for the art of life for the art of zen is i i'm coming here or yes that's why i'm here now after the class is over is it is my practice over or i'm in a practice in the way back to on the way over i practiced on the way back am i going to do it to how's it going to be on the way back when
well actually that might be traffic jam on the richmond bridge will see
but i'm not going to make a change i'm not playing to make a change on the way home he's gonna go the usual way
panic and and i intend to practice the things i'm talking about and went back but sometimes like today i made a change
i went to san francisco
dysport my daughter and i knew that that wouldn't change my way to berkeley and i was up for it
yes kim

chip for isn't a typical thing
can i daniel
kip from things aren't so hard
well be generous with the be generous with not being challenged
be generous with that
on the way home if you don't have difficult traffic practice generosity again when i first started driving before i got to the freeway when when i was out you know in the sunset
i keep can can keep use is the is is is south of golden gate park the sunset
so coming from the sunset at the beginning i was actually going down lincoln yeah and i was practicing generosity and those cabs in front of me and i was packed and generosity and it was not difficult to welcome the situation things were flowing but i was practicing just wasn't difficult it isn't all was defunct
want to practice generosity
so sometimes it's not hard so then you focus on practicing generosity and sometimes when it's not hard
it's not some you know also to they were sometimes when it's not to working with myself and being bored are very similar
so again you're driving along and your practice and generosity actor rob generosity gets boring
so how can how can i make generosity more entertaining after a while even moving and moving along with not united high speed or like thirty five miles an hour in the city or sixty five on the highway at a certain point that can get boring to tissue at the speed limit
and eventually have eventually it'll get hard
but it's not always hard sometimes it sometimes it's not hard
yes emily

how do you patient with not making progress

well the way your practice patience
usually at to practice patients with some kind of discomfort like a hardship
hardship and the other thing is hot like just hot like zach sacramento whether gay you guys can practice patience with the heat right
or with cold that one kind of patients and the knew what you do as you try to be in the present with it try to be in the present try not to think about how long he'd been going on or how long it will go on give that up and be in the present heat if someone insult you are rude
do you that is
that's a different type of pain it's not a hardship it's it's hurtful
he doesn't exactly hurt both just hard
are working hard with somebody in salt urine is cruel to you try to be in the present with the pain the present with the pain present don't think about that they've done it before the to in the future tried to be in the president that's the main way to practice patience is to focus on being in the present
it doesn't take the pain away it makes the pain bearable
you if you practice practices way
the but he called the proposal is if you practice this patience you will be able to bear any pain
without like
violently reacting
it isn't that you like it it said you can actually that that no pain can make you be cruel
you can get that good at it that this tradition says you can get that great at it yeah
preface that way
it helps he said if you practice that way would help you the the pain to turn into suffering from prevent the pain from turning the suffering y e s
when you're enlightened
pain is not suffering
pain is not pleasure when you're when you're enlightened pain is not pleasure
pain is pain but there's no suffering there's no wiggling there is freedom and joy with the pain
and an order to be enlightened
in order to be free and at peace we must practice patience you cannot make a buddha without patients buddha's you cannot make a buddha without pain
what we've got painting way
we need is more patient with all of us they've got some we need more and more in the buddha says that she really practiced at it
and got really good at it
and we can get really good at it if we keep practicing it and basically just as be in the present learn to not wiggle away from it
and don't think about wiggling away from it one of the ways to wriggle away from it is to think about how long it might go on
how long has been going on and zen practice is you know we don't mean it to be painful but then practice does trained people when they're sitting long time they learn not to think about how much longer this periods gonna go or how much longer this retreats gonna go they learned that that just makes us so much harder
don't we
you are me

you mean how can you well first of all how can you say welcome
how can you say thank you like that you say welcome you say somebody killing somebody you think you might say thank you
you might say that my the way you might do it is by saying that are thinking it think thank you thank you for what thank you for this opportunity to practice generosity the person's doing already doing a cruel thing
right that that happened already
that the cruelties already happened or is happening yeah so now we've got cruelty to want to do on more cruelty or do want now to compliment that cruelty with love
you want cruelty and la verne just want cruelty plus cruelty
do you want cruelty and respect and compassion and wisdom enlightenment or just want cruelty and then cruelty which you want
the buddhist saw people being cruel and the buddha responded to the cruelty with compassion
sometimes the people were snapped out of their cruelty when they saw the buddha's compassion sometimes they word
sometimes the buddha said that people are being cruel on your friend and they snapped out of it sometimes the buddhist said i'm your friend and they didn't snap out of it
but the buddha always met cruelty with kindness and converted cruel people
but not always immediately
but the thing is to bring love to cruelty in the first aspect of love is to be generous not i like what you're doing you met and you might say to them would you do me a favor would you please stop that
would you stop doing that to that person
or would you come over here for second i'd like to talk to you you might do something like that to to convert the person to compassion

that's what the buddha that with the buddhist sometimes was able to do
the buddha saw the cruelty was friendly to it
and then the person didn't believe it and the person continue to try to do it and then the buddha did get another thing and stopped it
you in new enemy
yeah the the buddha told this person who was on the bubble to kill the buddha the buddha said i'm your friend and he talked him for quite awhile in the guy didn't believe him so that he tried to kill the board and board has walked away and the guy ran after him and couldn't catch him and guy says hey why can't i catch you in the buddha said because they
i stopped like i snapped out of it he stopped that person
from being a murderer
so we we actually not just we not only want to stop not just stop the cruelty we want the person who's involved in cruelty to snap out of it and be converted to kindness not just stop it at the moment you want even more than that
the dream of fear and violence that they're living in we want that and we we i aspire to that skill
but obviously i had to be patient with my current level
thank you
i brought some copies of a new book that's been published if you wanna come imo and some sign copies up here and so you have your homework assignment sorta thank you very much