So last time I gave kind of an overview of study. Want to sit up here? Want to sit up here? This is it. And so I'm not going to do that again, but so the new people don't have the overview that I gave last time. I don't know what to do about that. How many new people are there? Is there another sheet of paper?

[01:08]

Yeah, I thought there's just space. Are there any extra copies of the text for new people? What do you want? Okay. So we're studying the 44th story in this book.

[02:20]

And the 44th story goes like this. A monk asked, a dragon king comes out of the sea Sky and earth are tranquil. Is that different from what you have? No. How is direct presentation? Or how can you meet him face to face? Dragon King comes out of the sea. The sky and the earth are tranquil. How can you meet him face to face? Master Xingyan said, the Garuda, king of birds, takes command of the universe.

[03:31]

Who can stick his head out here? The monk said, suppose one suddenly appears, then what? Xingyan said, it's like a falcon catching a pigeon. If you don't realize, check in front of the tower. Then for the first time, you'll know the real. The monk said, if so, then I'll fold my hands on my chest and retreat three paces. Shingyan said, you blind turtle, under the seat of Mount Sumeru. Don't wait for another scarring from a rap on the head. Cassandra, do you want to come and sit on the floor?

[04:52]

Squish on the floor? Or do you want to stand up? There's a little room right here on top of the wires. Okay, that's the story. And... Let's see. So this is a story, right? Did you hear those words? Did you hear the words of the story? So now we will continue the class.

[05:54]

Now, try to open up your mind so that you can understand the story. As we say, you know, the meaning is not in the words, but it responds to the inquiring impulse. So we... We, in a sense, we invoked some kind of presence through reading these words.

[07:10]

But the meaning isn't in the words. Where's the meaning? Where's the meaning? Not even just the meaning of this story. Where's the meaning? So the meaning responds, it responds to the arrival of energy or the arrival of the opportunity of these words. So, it arrives all, it arrives, you know, through, I won't even say like at each of the places where each of you are. But anyway, it arrives, it responds to the arrival of energy. So where is the energy arriving? Where is energy coming forth now?

[08:17]

That's the meaning response to that energy. Can you witness the arrival of the energy? Can you witness the arrival of the opportunity? This is also called the inquiring impulse. Can you witness the inquiring impulse? And the inquiring impulse is not necessarily my idea or your idea of the inquiring impulse. It's just sort of like the arrival of the opportunity, moment by moment. The meaning responds to that. Also, the meaning, the arrival of this effort or this opportunity and the response, they come up like this.

[09:19]

It isn't like your effort or your inquiry goes like this and then the answer, the belief, comes later. It isn't... It's like this, they come up together. Okay? Okay, now that... So watch, okay? So this guy, his name is... this teacher's name is Xing Yang. Charlie, could you write Xing Yang on the blackboard? Don't write it right at the top. Actually, you can write it right at the top. It's okay. Xing Yang. Does anybody have their little lineage charts? Handy Andy lineage charts? Hand it over. Up. I hope you don't mind me calling this a handy Andy lineage chart.

[10:22]

Okay, if you look on your lineage chart, tiny little thing that it is, and you see Andy sort of gave our lineage, our hometown lineage, the red. Does anybody have your charts? How many people have these charts? Anybody have your charts? Some people do. Okay, if you look on these charts, you see the red area here? That matches this red guy up here. See the red guy? You see him? You know who that is? That's Dungsan. This is Dungsan. This is Dungsan daintily walking through the river, lifting his skirt up, as though it doesn't get moistened by the river waters. He's stepping through the water, tiptoeing through the water, looking down at the water to see the Dharma. Looking for the Dharma, right? Dungsan, looking for the Dharma.

[11:26]

He looks into the water and what does he see? He sees his face, kind of rippled, kind of a ripply version of it. Sees his face and what does he say? It's exactly me, but it's not me. Or it's, I'm exactly it, but it's not me. That's the Dharma. He saw it. So, that's why he's in this color here. featured on our charts. And then his lineage is this color here. Okay? And he's at the top of the list there. And then coming down from him is next generation is Ungodoyo. And then three generations you come to Dayang. And coming down from Dayang, you have... Wow, you wrote that big. Xingyang. That's Xingyang.

[12:29]

So Xingyang comes down from Dongshan after five generations. Now, something very interesting happened here. Xingyang's teacher is Dayang. Okay, why don't you try Dayang on there. Okay, over there, next to it. Dayang. Dayang. Dayang. Say Dayang. Min Gan, Dayang Min Gan, so that's his teacher, Dayang Min Gan, teacher of the guy in this story. Now this is something special here. Think about this, this is like the transmission of the teaching, this teacher has a relationship with this, these two men have a relationship and this guy transmits responsibility

[13:43]

for Dharma study to Xinyang. Daoyang has 15 disciples, okay? 15 disciples, and they all die before he dies. Think about that. So you're like, imagine you're a Zen teacher in China, and you have, well, quite a few students, but you have 15 successors, 15 people who are capable of taking responsibility for the teaching, and they all die. You keep living and they die. Is it very hard when you die? Isn't that amazing that such a thing could happen?

[14:58]

First of all, that there could be this Dharma teaching anyway, and then it gets transmitted for about almost 1,500 years. And this Dayang receives it and thoroughly trains 15 disciples, and they all die. And he keeps living with this dharma. Can you feel something? What do you feel? You feel frustrated? Where do you feel it? Does anybody else feel frustrated or some other feelings that you could share and tell us where in your body you feel it?

[16:07]

Yes? I feel sad and it's right here. You feel sad around your heart? Yeah. I feel amazed. You feel amazed? Up in your head you feel amazed? Around your glasses? No, behind my head. Any other feelings, bodily feelings about this? Yes? Panic. Panic where in your body? Around the heart area. Around the heart area? Yeah. Higher than the heart area, too? Yeah? John? Two Johns. I guess I felt a shock, and it was actually like a shock, like somehow from here down through my shoulder. Any other feelings about this? Joel in? Empty in my stomach. You feel empty in your stomach? Is it a painful feeling or a happy feeling? It's hollow. Hollow. Fusan? I feel kind of okay. You feel okay? Where in your body do you feel okay?

[17:09]

All over? Kind of all over. Well, there's room for you in this class, too. Miriam? I feel like when he does, very sad, because it's like a mother out living her children. Uh-huh. Where do you feel it? You have your hand kind of up around your upper chest. It's also like a father outliving his sons. I mean, literally, that's what it's about too, you know. But also there's a mother side of it too. Are you trying to say something, Martha? Yes? You felt like around my ribcage and it felt like, what were the odds against that happening? Odd, you feel the odds around your head or your heart? It felt odd around my ribcage. You felt odd around your ribcage and you wonder what the odds were up in your head?

[18:11]

Well, you know, the Dharma, the meaning is not in the words, okay? But there's some meaning that responds. If you bring your energy to this story I told you, which is related to this other story, there's something, there's an opportunity there for meaning to arrive in you. Martha, other Martha, did you have your hand? I was just, I was in a feeling of amazement that the Dharma continued even with that, haven't they? There was this kind of action. Amazing. Yeah. That didn't even stop the Dalai Lama from coming to us. We're sitting all here. Right. Right. You haven't heard the rest of the story. That's an amazing story. Very unusual story. It's very unusual for a teacher to have 15 disciples and have them all die. It's unusual to have 15 disciples.

[19:12]

and then have them all die before you. It's very unusual. What's this mean, Silvia? Yeah, it's amazing. Thank you. Okay, now what, then what happens? Then this teacher, this teacher, Dayan, he keeps living, and he runs into this, not this person, but he runs into another monk named, as you can see in there, Fushan Yurangyang. Fushan Yurangyang. Do you write that over there, please, Charlie? Coming off of Balyang, Fuzhang, underneath them, maybe.

[20:14]

Okay, now again, I want to remind you, again, the meaning is not in those words on the board. Okay? But those words are on the board. And because those words are on the board, you can look at them. And when you look at them, that's your life. Your life is now manifested through you looking at those words. Okay? Where the meaning is going to come now, when you look at those words. Okay? Now, Shin-Yan is the person in this story. Shin-Yan is one of those 15 disciples who died. All right? This story is about one of Dayang's disciples that died. And to help you understand this story, I want to tell you something about what Dayang did after Xin Yang died, what his teacher did after he died.

[21:21]

What did his teacher do? What do you think he did? He kept looking for a disciple, for some more sons or sons. He had this thing, right? And he found Fuxiang. Now, the funny thing about Fuxiang is that before Fuxiang met Dayang, Fuxiang was already a successor of somebody else. He had already been found and become kind of the son or child of another Zen teacher of a different lineage. So Dayang is of the Dungsan lineage, the Cao Dung lineage. which comes down to Zen Center. There's another famous lineage that you know, the Linji or Rinzai lineage. This Fuxiang was a successor to the Linji line, the Rinzai line. Already he was a successor in the other line. But still, you know, he talked to people who were not in that line, and he met this Zen master, and he studied with him.

[22:31]

And this Zen master, Dayang, said, you know, you understand this Dung Shan line, this Dung Shan lineage, I would like you to receive this lineage and take care of it. Receive this lineage of Dharma and take care of it. Now think about that. And then he said, I don't want to. Because I'm already a successor of a different lineage. I already have the responsibility for the Linji line. And I don't want to have responsibility for another line. So, try that on. Imagine the responsibility for a Dharma's lineage, a lineage of Of Zen teaching that you're responsible for. And then you meet someone, you study with someone, you appreciate his teaching or her teaching, and this person says, would you receive and take responsibility for this teaching?

[23:40]

Not just receive it and study it and understand it, but take responsibility for it to carry it on. So this Dharma is the kind of thing that if you feel a responsibility for one particular lineage of transmission of the teaching, you might, just like this person, this Fushan, you might feel like, I don't want to have the responsibility for another one, a different one. And that's what he said. And Dayang said, well, I got this problem. All my disciples have passed away. I need you to do this, otherwise this lineage, this Dongshan lineage, the Dungsan lineage, okay, lineage of this great teacher Dungsan, and the lineage which has become Soto Zen, you know, throughout the world, that lineage came down to the person, the one person who was receiving it, lost all his disciples. Had disciples and lost them.

[24:42]

Now he's looking for somebody to receive it and he finds somebody who has the ability to receive it and doesn't want to. Because of this... Because he is capable, and he's also carrying other responsibilities in terms of this magical mystery thing called Dharma. What is it about it, you know, can you imagine, think about what it is that you have this responsibility, you know. So he says, but I don't want this lineage to die. So I need you to take it and carry it on. And Fushan says, okay, I will be a surrogate. I will receive the Dharma until I can find somebody to succeed it, to receive it from me. And he does receive it. And when he receives it, Dayang gives him a verse so that he, Fushan, can prove, you know, that he actually is carrying this responsibility, just in case anybody has any questions.

[26:17]

So, the verse that Dayang gave him was, on Mount Yang Guan, the grass of Mount Yang Guan, Yang Guan is another name for Dayang, Mount Dayang. The grass on Mount Yang Guan depends on you for its value to grow. When different spark sprouts grow in profusion, deep and hidden, spiritual roots are strong. And then Dayan said, whoever receives the Dharma should remain hidden for ten years and then bring it out in the open. So later, this Fushong met a person whose name you haven't heard yet.

[27:27]

Would you write this under Fushong, Charlie? In our lineage, Okay? So every morning at Zen Center and in most other, almost all of the other Soto Zen temples throughout the world, they chant, as they say, chant the tayo kyogen dayosho, and then we chant, tosu gi se dayosho. We don't say, push on. This person, this wonderful person, came in and took the soto lineage, which came down, you know, to Dogen Zenji and all those people in Japan, to Suzuki Roshi and onto us.

[28:27]

He received that lineage, which had come to an end, if he didn't receive it, he received it, and he passed it on to Totsu Gisei, Totsu Ijin, and then he disappeared from our lineage. But he actually is in our lineage, but hidden. He's hidden in the lineage. And he couldn't come out and show his face because he wanted to be responsible for this other thing. So, what can I say? Just think about what the thing, this kind of thing, Dharma and Dharma responsibility is. Okay? Yes.

[29:29]

In the Rinzai temples that come down from him, they would say his name, yes. So I'm getting curious about what this other lineage, what's the difference that this other karma transmission has to say? Yes. According to... I mean, maybe it's very long to explain, but there's such a big difference on translation. Well, it's like this. Like in this room now, there's Dharma, right? Maybe. Maybe the Dharma's in this room, okay? And then maybe you feel that it has touched you, you know? And maybe you feel finally, you know, the proper relationship with Dharma. And maybe that relationship happens through a relationship with a person.

[30:38]

And maybe that person confirms you in that feeling that you found your true peace. You found your true... good relationship with the Dharma, and you feel Dharma is really helping you, and now you can really help Dharma through that understanding. And that understanding is the Dharma too. You feel this way, okay? And then you may be accepting, feel responsibility, take care of the Dharma, and not let this Dharma that you now have a good relationship with, you feel responsible not to let it get lost or wasted. Make sure it lives that you share it with other people, and that they also can maybe, hopefully, also develop a good relationship with Dharma themselves, and then maybe they take responsibility for it in their life and carry it on. You feel that, okay? Whatever that is, and you feel that way. Then you meet somebody else, maybe. You start talking to somebody else.

[31:40]

And in another way, through another conversation, you feel somehow, oh, another way to somehow, again, like to have another baby or something, another way to have a good relationship with dharma. But it's different because it's through a different person and that different person says, yes, you know, and please carry on what we have done together, what we have realized together. So, To say what it is, to say what the first one is and to say what the second one is, in some sense, we're here to realize what one is. And when we realize what one is, I think the relationship will be such that we can't talk about the other one until we bring some other lineage into the relationship. So without saying what that other lineage would be, I just say we can't talk about it because we can only talk about this one.

[32:48]

We can't talk about another one. But the funny thing is that if, for example, one of us had received responsibility for this one and somehow had a life such that he or she studied with someone else and took responsibility for another one, then we could see what a person like that would be and they could tell us about how their heart is You know, and we could discuss, and maybe we... But they might not, they might not, unless there was some special situation, they may not have those two conversations with us. They might say, choose which half of me you want to relate to, don't do both. It might not be necessary, and maybe it's better not to do both, but he had to. You could understand both, maybe. but not take the responsibility for both. He didn't want to take the responsibility for both. And you know also there's many stories in our lineage of a student meeting a teacher, the teacher showing the Dharma, the student not understanding, the teacher sending the student to another lineage, and that other lineage waking the student up to what the first teacher taught.

[34:10]

person awakens with another lineage that his teacher is somebody else, and then maybe studies with that teacher for a long time, then goes back to his original teacher and becomes a successor in the lineage which he couldn't understand with the person who was giving it to him. These amazing, unexpected things happen in the realm of Dharma, which is not the realm of our human understanding. But in fact, sometimes when the truth is actually presented to you, you cannot deal with it. And the person who presents it to you can only present it to you, and if you can't deal with it, there's nothing they can do about it because they can't change it. That's what it is. And in China, it was nice because there was a time when there were so many teachers that one teacher could present it to you, And if you couldn't get it, they could send you another teacher who could help you understand it.

[35:14]

But actually, it wasn't their teaching that you were dealing with. But they could wake you up to the teaching of your teacher. Isn't that amazing? So this is a story in the book Transmission of the Light. This is a story about Tozu I Ching, okay? So Tozu I Ching, who is the successor of Dayang, never met Dayang. Of course he's really the successor of Fushan, but in the paper he's Dayang's successor. But actually he went and studied with Fushan, and when he studied with Fushan, Fushan presented him a story of the Buddha being asked by a non-Buddhist about aside from speech and aside from silence.

[36:16]

They studied that story together for a while. Tozu, I Ching and Fushan, they studied that story. And then Tozu stayed with, his name wasn't Tozu at the time, that's his teacher's name, his name was I Ching. I Ching studied with Fushan for three years. After three years, Fushan said to Yijing, remember that story we discussed three years ago about the non-Buddhist who asked the Buddha about apart from silence and apart from speech? He said, yes. And he said, well, have you been thinking about it for the last three years? He said, mm-hmm. He said, well, Tell me about it. Let me see.

[37:17]

Present it. Show me the meaning. So, as I Ching was about to present, just as he was about to present to Fushan the meaning, Fushan put his hand over his mouth. And I Ching woke up. Thoroughly. And then he bowed. And then Fushan said, Have you been wonderfully awakened to the subtle functioning? And Tozu said, Even if I have, I should vomit it out. And then Fushan's attendant, who was right nearby, said, Today, I Ching is like a sick man who is able to sweat.

[38:26]

And I Ching turned to the attendant and said, stop your yapping. If you keep prattling on like this, I'll vomit. This is the conversation that followed his thorough awakening. This is the lineage of Dungsan. This is the lineage of this story we're reading now. Okay? Three years later, after this, Fushan says to Tozu, Now I'm going to give you a little bit more teaching. Now I'm going to tell you what Dalyang taught me.

[39:36]

And I've been taking care of it now all this time. Now I'm going to give it to you." So he taught him the essential teachings of the Dungsan line. And revealed the significance of the teaching of that line. And Tozu I Ching was in complete accord with these teachings. So, Bhushan entrusted the Dharma of Dayang, which he had taken, he trusted it to him, and also gave him Dayang's portrait, which he received from Dayang, Dayang's leather shoes, Dayang's robe, And then he ordered him to continue the teaching of this tradition in place of me. I'm out of here. I'm out of this lineage. Now you take my place in the lineage.

[40:37]

And then he said, don't remain here long and take good care of this. And then Fushan composed this poem for Tozu. his successor, which he never gets credit for. For the Lineage of Soto Zen, which now goes on another thousand years so far, by his kindness, which nobody even gives him credit for. One parting poem. Mount Sumero stands in the great sky. The sun and moon encircle it. One after another, a host of mountains lean on it. And the white clouds change from time to time. The style of Shaolin monastery rises and flourishes.

[41:46]

The screen that obscured Cao Chi and Dung Shan is rolled up. The golden phoenix lodges in a dragon's nest. How can the mosses in the imperial compound be crushed by carts? The deeply hidden splendid roots are strong.

[43:00]

The deep, subtle functioning of the teaching has been exposed to you. The selfless spirit of the bodhisattva is exposed to you. Think about whether you're going to understand it where you're going to work to understand it. Maybe work so thoroughly that you would actually understand it and take responsibility for it and then disappear. And all that would be left would be the lineage of the teaching and you get no credit. But in that spirit, that is the deep root of the lineage, which we didn't even know about, did we, before we heard this story?

[44:13]

We didn't even know that this secret kindness was in the lineage. But it is. So every day we chant this lineage which has much more going on than we'll ever know. And we just make the effort to say the words and the meaning of these names comes to meet our devotion. Moment by moment. Yes?

[45:15]

Why did Dayan say that a teaching should remain hidden for the person? Something was supposed to remain hidden for ten years. Can you take away the why? That would be a question. Okay. So, anyway, can you open your hearts to such a spirit? Who knows what it is, but can you open your heart to the spirit of this lineage? There's stories about this kind of thing, okay? This kind of people, this kind of heart. And monk comes and asks,

[46:19]

This successor in the Dengshan lineage, Xingyang, Master Xingyang, the monk comes and says, when the dragon king comes out of the sea, sky and earth are tranquil. Meet him face to face, and then what? The Master said, the Garuda, king of birds, takes command of the universe. Who can stick his head out here? So in a way,

[47:28]

I'm kind of torn, but I feel like we should stop right here at this point in the story and see what you understand about this dragon king coming out of the water and meeting the dragon king face to face. Then what? What is that? What is that? What are we talking about here? What has this got to do with your life? I mean, you may be asking me, but you tell me. What's a dragon king? Something scary. The essential nature.

[48:30]

The essential nature. Is essential nature something scary? It could appear so. What? If your neck is sticking out. Only if your neck is sticking out. It's a dharma protector. Dharma protector? The dragon? Well, the Garuda. The Garuda is a dharma protector, yes. But we didn't get to the Garuda yet. The Garuda is the next one. Now we're talking about meeting the dragon. We've got dragon and Garuda. They're different animals. The Garuda is a dragon protector, right? And in the commentary it talks about the story where Shariputra was having a little interaction with a person named, what is it, Laotacha, right? At the establishment setting up the Jetavana monastery at the time of the Buddha.

[49:35]

And this Jetavana manifested a dragon to, what is it, to upset Shariputra or something? Huh? To harm Shariputra. And then Shariputra produced a Garuda, and the Garuda came down and ate the dragon. So Garudas eat dragons. Even though dragons are amazing creatures, Garudas eat them. Dragons are also dangerous if you don't relate to them properly. What is this business about a dragon? What's the point in the dragon king? Here's some challenge to your life, and somehow you have to meet the challenge. Uh-huh. Yes.

[50:41]

Something unexpected like 15 heirs die. Uh-huh. I have a feeling that the introduction gave us the same story in different ways. Yes. So what is the dragon in your life? Do you have a dragon in your life? Full expression.

[51:45]

Dragon is full expression? Yeah. Full expression is a dragon of Liz's life. The self. The self. The self is a dragon. Well, you can do it that way, you can use it that way if you want to. I say dragon is what meets the self. I don't think the dragon is the self. Well, maybe the self that meets, maybe the big self that meets the little self is a dragon. But I think the dragon is what comes to meet you when you fully express yourself. I propose that to you. Now you can struggle with me. But I propose the dragon is what meets you when you fully express yourself.

[52:50]

Also, I suggest to you that the dragon will come to meet you that when the dragon comes out of the sea, at that time, heaven and earth are calm. That you can't fully express yourself unless heaven and earth are calm. However, When heaven and earth are calm, what happens? A dragon comes, a king dragon. You are fully expressing yourself. When you fully express yourself, you can't fully express yourself if you're not present and calm. You've got to be stable to really fully express yourself, so you know what you're expressing. You're there. You're on the spot. a root, then something comes to meet you. Did you say the challenge of your life, John?

[53:55]

A fearsome challenge to your life. A fearsome challenge to your life. A fearsome threatening challenge to your life. A threat to your life. A threat to your self-expression. And I've said to you, I'll say it again, that when there is self-expression, there is threat to the self that's expressing. When there is full self-expression, there is expression against something. If you're withdrawn to yourself and you express yourself just a little peep, if that little peep isn't your full expression, then there won't be turmoil around you and you won't be threatened. And you will be, but you'll be so withdrawn from it, it'll be like a distant thunder. But when you fully express yourself, the thunder will come right up to meet you. Full-scale threat to self, not a self-expression, not threat to self-expression, threat to self-existence.

[54:59]

Threat to limited self-existence when you express yourself fully. So the artist comes up against this, the monk comes up against this, fully expressing, and the dragon king comes to meet. When it meets you face to face, then what? So just please take a little break here now and consider whether it is a dragon in your life. And if not, is it because you're not expressing yourself fully? Or what? Is there another alternative? And if not, then this is something to be careful about. Don't get like, what do you call it? Fly off the handle, is that what they say? Don't fly off the handle. Don't just start running around circles madly.

[56:02]

Just stop a second and think about now, what would full self-expression be? and consider how to really fully express yourself. You don't have to go look for this dragon. It'll come to visit you. It'll come out of the sea to meet you when you fully express yourself. And it will be a challenging meeting. And it will be hard to stay present. Even though you were present for your self-expression and your reward for being present and expressing yourself, your reward is this dragon. Now it's going to be hard to stay there with it. Does this make any sense to you? Well, this is optional dragon meeting. You don't have to do this. You don't have to do this. You don't have to express yourself. You don't have to, really.

[57:04]

You don't have to. But if you don't, you are condemned. You are condemned for not fulfilling your responsibility of being who you are. And guess who will condemn you? Yourself will condemn you. you will condemn yourself for not being yourself, for chickening out, just because you know beforehand what's going to happen. If you do be yourself, somebody's going to come to visit. Then, of course, you can back down, but then you condemn yourself for backing down. Now, what about overexpressing yourself? Well, particularly overexpressing yourself is dealt with by the next line. Well, how can you over-express yourself? How can you over-express yourself? The expressing of yourself you're talking about is like... Well, like, for example... To be totally present in the moment.

[58:06]

Here's a... What? No. Fully express yourself, you're totally present in the moment, okay? Can you be more than totally present in the moment? Well, I'll just explain. You're totally present in the moment. Like if you're doing tea. You're totally present in the moment. And there you are, in a nice little tea room, and suddenly there's a dragon in the tea room. Where'd that come from? How did the dragon get in? Well, it got in there because you were totally present with your tea stuff. That's what makes it fun. That's called the guest, right? And your guest is really there. Really there, you know. It's like, you know, the warlord of Japan is in the room with you. Somebody is there with you now. You're meeting face to face with the guest. Or the host, you know, maybe they don't know who it is. That's your reward for really being present is now somebody is in the room with you. The T-ball is the dragon. Okay, now you're there, all right? Now you say, how can you over, how can you do too much? If you then, in that situation, get excited, you know, give too much presence, like, you know, get too tense or too energetic with the T-ball or whatever, and then a guru comes in, guru comes in and gets you.

[59:21]

You got the visitation, you got the visitor, you got the dragon because you were really totally present. But then when it comes to visit, shocked. You flinch. You say, woo! And you back away, which is, you back away or you go forward in that confrontation. And then he says, then... So the monk's asking, what's it like when you meet the dragon? face to face, and the teacher says, he doesn't tell him what it's like, because if you say what it's like, that's like sticking your head out too. You can't say what this is like. If you say what it's like, you're overdoing it. When you meet the dragon, you can't say a word. I mean, you can say a word, but you can't, the word is not what it is. The meaning is not in your words. It's just that you're there. It's all you can be. You can talk, You can speak, but the meaning is not in your speaking. The speaking is your way of being there. The speaking is your voice, or you can have a body, but the meaning is not in your body.

[60:31]

Do you understand? So the teacher is saying, if you stick your head out, just stick your head out a little bit in that situation, Just, you know, like, say what it is in that situation. And the Dharma protector, the Garuda, will come in and fix you. This is not necessarily what he called a... This is not a bad thing. This is a Dharma thing, that you get feedback, that you... You were present, something came to meet you in your presence, you couldn't leave it alone, you couldn't just be there with it, you stuck your head out, you had to do something, and then something gives you feedback to knock that thing off, to knock that meddling off.

[61:41]

You weren't meddling before, you were just present, and that's how you got the gift of the dragon coming to see you. But when the dragon comes, if you stick your head out, like he says, the dragon takes command of the universe. Who can stick their head out? Now, did the monk hear what he said? Some people say the monk didn't really hear what he said. This is a very delicate point now. Then the monk goes ahead and says, well, suppose now one suddenly appears. One what?

[62:42]

One what? Not a goose, a dragon. You suddenly appear. Actually, you yourself suddenly appear. Yeah, what if you yourself suddenly appear? What are you going to do? Okay. Now, you can, you look at this. Look in here. Look in this story. You look. You check it out. But anyway, one way you can see is that the monk said, what's it like when you meet? The teacher didn't tell him what it's like. The teacher just said, don't stick your head out. Otherwise, you're going to get your head chopped off or you're going to lose your dragon. Either way. I don't know which is worse. I think it's worse to lose the dragon in a way. Because you just got the dragon. You just got what you wanted.

[63:46]

You know? You got the threat. The dragon is the threat which is going to complete your life. You can develop a good relationship. The dragon isn't exactly the dharma. It's you and the dragon together are the dharma. That proper relationship. Or the improper relationship is also the dharma. Anyway, the relationship, the meaning of the relationship is how you come to meet. what meets you when you're expressing yourself. If you're not expressing yourself, nothing's really coming to meet you, or what's coming to meet you is far away. There's you, and then dead man's, no man's land, and then somebody's coming to meet you. But you're separated by death that you're unwilling to enter. If you go right through that, all the way to your full expression, then you're going to meet death directly. You're going to meet the dragon. then things start happening.

[64:50]

And if you can just stay there and not stick your head out or in, not withdraw it or stick it out, we don't say what it is, how it is then, we just practice it. So the teacher doesn't say what it is, he just says, don't stick your head out, otherwise you're either going to lose your head, or you're going to... with your dragon. But it looks like the monk stuck his head out again and said, okay, now, well, he's saying the same question again. Well, what's it like when you meet it? He asked again. Looks like that. Looks like he didn't hear what the teacher said. That's what it looks like to me. And then the teacher says, okay, it's like a falcon catching a pigeon. If you don't realize, check in front of the tower. Then for the first time, you'll know the reel.

[65:53]

This is called a bop on the head. Okay? This is the first bopping on the head in the story. The monk says, okay. Okay, then I'll put my hands like this and take three steps backwards. And the teacher says, you're a blind turtle. Don't wait for another whack on the head. You're a blind turtle under the seat of Mount Sumeru. Don't wait for another scarring from a rap on the head. And again, the commentary explains this thing about the, like a dragon catching a pigeon. If you don't realize, if you don't understand this, check in front of the tower and then you'll know.

[66:59]

And that refers to a story, some people think it refers to a story that you read in the commentary. So this teacher, maybe this teacher is like making this allusion to this famous Chinese story. You know, see the story? The story is about some minister to some king, and he built himself a big multi-story housing unit. And he had a lot of guests over to his house. That was part of his scene. And somebody in his province or his area of responsibility, kind of a lame person, I guess, was insulted by a non-lame person, kind of a handsome person, insulted this lame person. And according to the etiquette of those days, the handsome insulter should be executed.

[68:03]

Okay, following it so far? I think that's right. So the lame person comes to the minister and says, this guy insulted me, please execute him for going against the rules of our little civilization here. So what the... What he does, what the minister does is he gets a criminal and executes the criminal. But people don't get fooled. So at that time, I think, what is it, his guests, all of his guests leave his house because they're visiting his house because he's an ethical paragon. He's a minister, so they leave. So then he actually gets the actual insulter and cuts the insulter's head off and puts the head out in front of his house so that everybody who lives out in front of his house can see that he actually did the deed.

[69:23]

And the guests didn't come back right away, but after a year, they came back. So the level of illusion in this story is at the ministerial, imperial, military commander level of illusion. And also Garuda and dragon level of illusion. Big scale, heavy duty illusions. But the point is anyway that he's saying is if you don't get it, If you don't understand what's happened, then we're gonna have to bring the specimen out in front where you can see it. If you don't understand the damage that has occurred by you not following through on things properly, we're gonna have to bring the specimen out in front. The falcon has captured the pigeon.

[70:28]

What might be the falcon? The Garuda. The Garuda and? And who is the pigeon? The monk or the dragon? Maybe the monk's friend. Maybe what the monk really is taking care of. Or what's taking care of the monk. Maybe what the monk has a relationship with. Anyway, there's some kind of damage being done here by somebody not Not what? Not what? Not what? Coming through. What? Not coming through. Coming through with what? Expression. Expression. Expressing himself. Expressing himself and then when met, expressing yourself and then when met... Huh? Well, dropping is... Hmm?

[71:35]

What? Forgetting is lopping off the head. Ah, you can... I'll let you do that, but I don't think so. I don't think you lop your own head off. No, it gets lopped. It gets lopped if what? If what, Martha? If you stick it out. If you stick what out, Martha? Stick this out. Stick it out where? Stick it out where? Huh? Are you there, Marta? Stick it out where? Stick it out where it's not you. Stick out yourself where it's not the self. In other words, you be yourself, you get a visitor, okay? Then? Keep expressing yourself. Keep expressing yourself in the face of your visitor.

[72:37]

First you get the reward of a visitor. The visitor doesn't come unless you express yourself. People who don't express themselves don't get visitors. That's the reward. Don't express yourself, you won't get any visitors. Lucky people. You're safe inside. Gregory Bateson said, the most difficult people to help, you know, who have mental illness are like the people in the Midwest who come out to their mailbox after the mailman has left. You know how people have mailboxes, you know, on the road, and then they have to walk out to the mailbox, you know, and the mailman comes and delivers his thing? So they're the people who, like, when the mailman They wait till after the mailman's gone before they come out to get it. They don't let go before the mailman or at the time of the mailman they wait till the mailman's gone. Because they don't want to meet anybody. Because they're in their little farmhouse out there and they don't have to deal with any mailmen or women.

[73:39]

So you stay in your house and don't have to worry about any dragons. Okay? However, on the other hand, if you do express yourself, if you do come out to meet the mailman... Or if you do come out and expose yourself at the mailbox, the mailman will show up and meet you. And there you will be and you'll have a visitor. That will be your reward. Then if you stay there and don't stick your head out, in other words, don't go get ahead of yourself or shrink back or lean to the right or to the left. In other words, just be upright in that meeting. Meet face to face and that's it. You can't do anything. You can't do anything except be completely yourself, which is all you ever can do. And then, when you're doing that, you get a visitor. And when the visitor comes, continue in the face of this visitation.

[74:45]

Continue. and then something else, then the visitor is going to visit again, on top of the visit, you're going to get a visit on top of the visit, on top of the visit, on top of the visit, then you keep expressing yourself. This monk wants to know about that, the teacher's telling him about it, but he doesn't do it. So what does he do if he doesn't stick his head out? He doesn't stick his head out. He steps back. Yeah, he steps back, which is another way to stick your head out. He kind of pretends, okay, I'll withdraw then. But the teacher says, okay, now that's not going to work either. You can't back out of this thing either. Either going forward or backwards from yourself, you're going to lose it. You can't. You can't withdraw from yourself, you can't get ahead of yourself. And so when we're actually, like, met with something, we're looking for some way to get out of there, right?

[75:52]

The right, the left, forward, backwards, somehow, you know. So if forward, I'm going to get it, okay, I'll back away then. You know, don't wait for another rap on the head. Come on. But it's hard. It's hard, isn't it? Anyway, it's you. It's up to you now. This is what this story is about. I say it's about this kind of thing. So now let's see. Let's see now. You work on this. You see if you can be yourself. Express yourself this week. And if you don't run a public... If there's no resistance and there's nobody to meet, you're not going to be able to express yourself. You're not going to be able to... Everything just backs away and lets you move through. You're not going to be able to do it. You have to run into somebody. That's not enough, though, either. Then when you start doing that, in order to turn this somebody into somebody, you've got to express yourself, and then they'll turn into a dragon. You're not the dragon. You're you. But that's who dragons come to meet.

[76:57]

They come to meet you. And they know you want them to visit because you're doing your work. So that they will. And you can see how it is. So you know that story, that famous story about the guy who loved dragons. He had all kinds of dragon statues at his house. He had wooden dragons, jade dragons, coral dragons, big dragons, little dragons. He just loved dragons. He was a dragon aficionado. And one time a dragon was flying over his house and got wind of this guy's interest in dragons. So he said, boy, I bet he'd like it if a real dragon came to visit. So the real dragon came down to visit because this guy was so expressive in his love of dragons. And the real dragon came in, but when the man saw the real dragon, he fainted away.

[78:00]

Don't be afraid of the real dragon. That's in the Fukon Zazen group. If you sit Zazen, you sit upright in Zazen, then don't be afraid of the real dragon. It's going to come to visit. But don't worry, it won't come to visit if you don't express yourself. So, you know how to not make it come to visit. Just try to be somebody. rather than just be yourself. And it won't come to visit and you'll be safe. And this would be the saddest thing. The next saddest thing would be is when it comes to visit and then you flinch. That would be the next saddest thing. But that's the more advanced sad thing. This monk was into the practice enough to, you know, be present enough to come to meet this teacher and get this guy to respond to him. and get in the book.

[79:09]

But then he flinched, then he shrunk back or got ahead. He leaned too much, he couldn't... But let's see if you can at least bring on the dragon this week. If you can bring on the dragon, then see if you can stay present with the dragon and keep being upright in the face of the dragon. And you can ask, what's it like? But don't make it into something That's not your job. You just be there with the dragon. Well, is expressing yourself and being present with the dragon, is that... I mean, or... Same thing. Same thing. Or like last week, Harleen says, well, do you have to be talking all the time to express yourself? Fortunately, no. As it says in the case number two of this book, it said, speaking of Bodhidharma, sitting quietly, sitting coolly, sitting coolly, and Shaolin, facing the wall for nine years in silence, he brought out the true imperative.

[80:22]

You can be quiet and bring out the true imperative. The true imperative is be yourself, express yourself, You can express yourself fully in silence. You can express yourself fully prior to 9 o'clock. Charles? Is pride or arrogance a form of sticking one's head out? Well, or shrinking back either way. I think actually it's kind of shrinking back, actually. Arrogance about expressing, like, if you think that you are expressing yourself. Can you think that you are expressing yourself? Arrogant about that. Well, it is possible to be expressing yourself, and then express yourself by thinking that you're doing really well expressing yourself, okay?

[81:25]

And if you fully exert the arrogance, then that dragon will come and meet you too. There's no time when you can't express yourself. That's the nice thing about the Dharma. There's no way you can be such that the Dharma won't come and meet you. The Dharma is always coming to meet you no matter how arrogant you are. The Dharma comes to meet arrogant people in a different way than it meets people who aren't arrogant, but it comes to meet them. And if you're there taking responsibility for your arrogance, the dragons, you feel, you feel that something, you know, you feel the resistance when you're arrogant. So this is the confession part. Yeah, this is confession. And then the dragon will come and visit you, even in your arrogance. You're always, the Dharma is always with you, but if you want to feel the impact and be able to meet it and work with it, then you have to take full responsibility for your karma. for your bodily, vocal and mental karma.

[82:27]

You have to take responsibility for your being, even before you do anything. You have to take full responsibility for your being and your action. You have to feel what it's like to be, and you have to feel what it's like to do. All that you have to take responsibility for, if you want to welcome and be visited by the rest of the universe. And then just continue that practice even when you feel the presence threatening you. And see if you can now integrate this threat. Integrate and include and now affirm what is threatening to negate you. And again, if you don't express yourself, your negation is like a moot point. You've already done it yourself. Without, you know, including that in your being you've used your negation to shrink back from your being. When you fully express yourself then your negation comes to meet you.

[83:31]

And then if you can dance with your negation this becomes your fulfillment. But again, dance the way you dance is not by being somebody else. It's actually by being yourself and realizing that what isn't you and what's threatening you is actually part of you. and you are part of it. And then the mutuality and interdependence of the being and the one who's threatened and the threat starts to develop. Are you using the dragon and the dharma interchangeably? No. Dharma's not something that comes to meet you. There isn't like you and the Dharma. The Dharma is how you and what comes to meet you work together and arise together. The Dharma will be revealed to you when you see how you and what threatens you dependently co-arise.

[84:33]

You can see the dependent co-arising of your full expression and the full challenge of your being. Okay? Those dependently co-arise. You will not get challenged much If you don't express yourself, if you shrink back into a kind of diminished, half-alive version of yourself, you will not feel very challenged. You may feel some challenge, but it's not as much as you'll feel... Yes? Just stop? I'll stop. Can I finish your sentence? I forgot what it was. Good night.

[85:09]

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