Faith that Allows Doubt and the Idea that All Ideas are Contingent and Empty 

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the
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huh
huh
two
perform the buddha away
is the buddha away

the model the boot away
is the buddha away

to learn the buddha away
it's the border away
to perform the boot away
which is a good away if to perform
yourself
you do perform yourself
but if you don't notice it
if you're not aware of it
you might miss it
and if you miss it is it does seem i chemists it
and therefore you miss also the performance of the boot away and not therefore you missed the boat away
so noticing that you're performing yourself
is something which i highly recommend although i don't recommend movies i do recommend that you perform the self
someone said earlier today that they heard a teaching about fully expressing yourself there's somebody here bring it up
put it she left
elizabeth yeah
elizabeth went off to perform them herself some to be to fully express yourself some place else

so today i hope the
that you enjoyed performing yourself here

yes

thank you for the confession and then i ask you that when you notice that year
that you're a person who is concerned about
being a good student
do you perform that

do you perform i'm concerned but now you confessed did you perform that confession
who did you end when you before you confess to you when you were being concerned about
the concerned you to shared do you perform them
did you fully express them
but do you feel like i am now expressing this in do you feel i am not performing a student a buddha dharma concerned with these things as my question to you
we're good that's the boot away
the buddha way is when you're a person who's concerned about the things you're concerned about that you perform that person
with confidence in other words
whole heartedly perform a person who is concerned about whether they're right or wrong
wholeheartedly perform a person who is strongly bent in a certain direction i am a abend person i perform a bench person twisted and turned in certain ways according to ideas
do you perform the person who heartily

and your right
yeah you're doubting
are you performing a dart wholeheartedly

hey
he looked like you look like a pretty good performance of doubt there to show
it looked pretty good at kind of like all garden full of dodo years wow you look pretty good you know did you feel the wholeness of your doubt
did you exercise it somebody just tell me about their reading this book called warm smiles from cold mountain question didn't remember the name exactly but anyway that's the real name
and it was a pardon and by saying but but giving up
a trying giving up self improvement some of my god in the book i can imagine it's in there
giving up self improvement giving up trying to improve yourself
and she said that i thought
yeah give up trying to improve yourself by exercise yourself
so i actually i actually exercise myself
i do have you noticed i do
i even go to special exercise areas to exercise myself and i might think when i'm there to improve myself
you know to live instead of two hundred and fifty to lift three hundred pounds improvement i might think that but if i remember it the books to try to improve yourself
how about like we're just maintain yourself
how about prevent degeneration
so
the book says give up trying to give up self trying to improve his i'll give up self improvement and give up self maintenance
but exercise yourself exercise so as i'm degenerating
from a certain perspective i am degenerating degeneration
losing losing losing various things know giving them away gimme more we can watch those giving closing you give it
losing memory get it losing teeth gave them
losing strength gave it gave it give it
even though there seems to be generation
the exercise of this degenerating being can even become more hard it's possible but you'd better start now not later now what what you got now exercise what you've got now and then maybe tomorrow you can exercise what you are given tomorrow which may
might be considerably less and which have today or it might be more
spiritual practice has this great possibility that you can exercise yourself more when you're in a degenerates date than you could when you are like
nothing but increase
in fact we are always was fully alive but if we don't practice being fully alive being fully ourselves will miss it
miss it
which is really the main problem and there's all kinds of comment
background which makes us come like all i don't want to be this person
but you can perform home i don't want to really be this person you can do that you can be that person who doesn't want to be this way
and why or who wants to be a certain way you can perform that person wholeheartedly and that is the buddha way is to perform and the creep that you are right here
petty twisted thing you are concerned about mommy like you are teach teacher like you
concerned about you
you can perform live person like
really
brilliantly you can or you can come up with i yeah i want i want to be this way but i don't want to be the person wants to be this way i want to be someplace else with dominant you can do that do you can before you can always be yourself so that's the performance of the buddha way
what's the difference between performing and non-performing them the difference between performing another funny
well when i say performing i mean that you consciously perform
not that you perform unconsciously people are unconsciously performing and like somebody unconsciously being you know you're always being a certain way you always been certain way and right in that sense are always performing the way you are but if you don't consciously it accept that responsibility and say basically
basically say yes i do yes i will i will be this person completely right now i'll be this crabby pouting frightened resistant
i'll be i'll be the person that i am i will
perform the person i am already performing
the buddha away what does it it's all pervading you can't get away from it but if you don't perform it
it's like
even if you're performing a ninety percent two percent is enough to be sorted like off to miss it
i would say ninety percents better than twenty four percent but still even a little bit missing it
is the inner it's a big mess
but we can be a hundred percent because we've already got hundred percent working for us we are actually hundred percent the way we are other people actually can see that she's just that way she's like exactly that way that's the way she is but she seems to be slightly resisting it little bit or some people like just like not paying any attention
at all
two not paying attention at all
so it's existence acceptance and presence you know and welcoming and being here and you know really accepting the great thing that you are which if somebody who is going performance of a person
several dogan says moved out ryzen us then at that moment let's say do that
well there's two possibilities one is that he saying that because in that wholeheartedness there no space for doubt because even if is doubt you're just performing doubt it's just a painting of doubt
yeah there's no there's only paintings of doubt and is only paintings of buddha's
there's only performance of borders as know like buddha's there's only performance of boot and performance of buddha his performance of yourself
and if you're if you're doubting and you perform that for them
doesn't doubt
but you can like performed out i got doubt i'd boy do i doubt
the possibly a dog is being kind of self-righteous and dogmatic and saying you shouldn't doubt but we don't have to accuse him of that
you can have that feeling a little gap between what you are what you think you ought to be
yeah that could be like what that can be existential doubt like i'm not quite the person i want to be well okay fine
i'm not quite the buddha i aspire to be okay fine for i'm on way far away from it fine but now performed i'd be that person who has that doubt
hex exercise that person because that's the person we've got right now is the person who says buddha is two and a half miles away but it is ten light years away was actually really close right now but i can't see it
but right close i've heard it i kind of got it so the person i am as somebody who really feel a closeness and buddha but doesn't see it and i'm to exactly that person that's me right now and i'm crying about that or i'm laughing about that and i'm performing the laughing since student now
did you have something to say miss
however the current cars
something completely
what you said
express

if you're full if you're full of doubt what about comic consequence if you're full of doubt that's because you're well you're always putting your all is exactly as full of daughters you really are when you perform when you consciously perform the the fullness of the doubt that you have
you're also aware of cause and effect it's one of this
kind of major byproducts of this practice as you become aware of cause and effect also
it is it isn't that you the car cause and effect is born out of the water know it's that you get to see it so you get omniscience along with this by the way
so it isn't that by performing year your your actions that you free of cause and effect it said freedom from cause and effect is that you're performing cause and effect
is that you're actually seeing cause and effect now because you're fully participating with it so tricky as they think oh well if i watch cause effect i've become free of cause and effect i will be or bother me anymore
but not i'm doing karma and i'm doing it so fully that i'm actually totally into watching to see what i'm doing
while i'm doing it
so that way we don't fall into we don't fall into cause and effect and we don't not phone the cause and effect we study at how by performing it we are nothing but the performance of cause and effect and we are nothing but empty and we are nothing but realizing that that emptiness
is another painting of emptiness so we're nothing but the middle way
and began the middle way you study cause and effect
which you're exercising exercising and study studying the exercise exercising the study of what
of what you're doing which is the main kind of cause and effect that we're focusing on here that yes some choices
when the choice is an thing you can perform
the an hour then you're performing when you choose i'm gonna perform that he performed the choice
and she said don't you have choice and when you really perform the choice wholeheartedly you realize you don't have it
when you perform something wholeheartedly you don't get to have it
you give it away when you do it wholeheartedly and also you you don't have it because it's you you're nothing but your performance of for example choice
you choose to like practice zen yeah yeah
you actually perform choosing practicing zen yeah yeah
but when you actually are consciously wholeheartedly totally into your performance of choosing then we don't get to have then the performance or the choice
and you just use our the performance of the choice to practice and saw you are in touch yourself
but you do get to be a person who's performing a choice sometimes
or you can say quite frequently you perform choosing
you can say that i frequently performed using
are you could not say a i'll that you frequently performed using
but i'm say i'm saying the here if you are conscious and totally engaged with their choosing
that's the boot away
this person
performing what she's performing performing herself which is a choice with seen a trojan a choice must see machine a choice machine
did i choose to say that the way i said it
do you understand perfectly now
i think if i said i understood it perfectly i will be sought to see
i have busy and you don't want to be self perceived
yeah so now you're performing a person who'd rather not be self deceived that's correct yeah
and i'm saying perform that person
it is yeah stick like great
why the word perform why the bird before me if wander towards you could be using is that performance and just don't need it seems the opposite of other documents performs a shallow and not real and
eight so young ladies and
say
what can you think you are
what do you think you are his a shallow version of who you think you are and you do think about who you are and you do think that you are something karma is shallow
hi recreate worlds which are shallow and empty
it's thinking is it is something you perform something you'd it's with your basic action
what they what i mean to say
when you understand emptiness you understand everything you do a superficial and shallow
the emptiness is deep formats superficial
going to a zen center and doing a practice period is a superb is a superficial think would you put you perform
it's a ceremony of the buddha way it's not the actual boot away however there's no buddha away aside from the performance of the ceremony had put away
your version of yourself is a shallow version of the truth of you
so yeah when we do the superficial thing which does not reach the profundity of reality and that and we must perform in order to realize to profound we must do the superficial in order to realize to profound
and we do do this superficial no shortage of superficiality but there is a shortage of wholeheartedness in our superficiality
and in our superficiality was concerned with like gaining improving and stuff like for with this little thin layer here and we're we're concerned with like making the southern layer like quite a bit thicker like said have been like this i would like to be like ten times that i understood the sultana little thin layer and
that's what i'm into because i'm like a sentient being into like a improvement yeah
we also that what you this is me i do that
and now it's like all good did not improve it's getting worse and worse and worse and worse and worse law yucky you yeah
but if you perform that
you realize the emptiness of it
if you resist this little to no one improving are not approving or you can only bring it but are you not really like or can performing improvement and performing
he resists the shallow
he missed the deep
if you try to get to deep it's just kind of similar mr shallow and we've got plenty of shallow shallow self little me perform it decisions blah blah blah gaining loss blah blah blah performance exercise it and the superficial level
open to have superficial it is
and that will be the gate to the profundity of
all activity the emptiness of our comic at play
and performance and play and relaxation and graciousness they all go together rather than really do something and reality
a very superficial level please
but i have to ask you do that you will i will
we only got that down we need to get we need to we need to engage more fully that's all going to be any more superficial were just the right amount each moment you're actually perfectly the right amount of pettiness and superficiality
this is the exact thing you should be working on right now
and then exercise it
what you're already doing but join the progress
just describing
like no karma
the performance is no karma this description know it's not know no of complete wholeheartedly it exercise no wrong veterans go on well the another his karma but you can find it
if you can find it there is that's wrong

the fact that you can't find something does not mean that it isn't there in the not finding in the not finding it's not there but it doesn't mean it's not there in the not finding
i mean it's not there in the finding when you find it it's there when you find suffering it's there
there is no to one what you're describing is one
so are you exercising or you to send you know yes guess i see and it is yeah and this yeah now you see the you see and see it is now what and then add another question wait a minute what about that and what about the isn't there you just say it is there now
what's the whatever you said you said and it's there i don't know what it was but you said and it's their you performed it is it is this space is
no
so you don't know
and are you performing this person who doesn't know anything
a lot of times have i love how about now
tis i was when you asked me the questions that are and what about now
yes i'm this and this okay good
your guess more
i could
join you some of this now
this to this one
come on do it wholeheartedly
here you go yeah fell into it and do it now and but not do this not that to this
are you ready
did you prefer that fully good
that's it
now again
get the occur again from work
okay were you don't go away
see this person you are you being this person is going time okay
not constantly now
things could proves it something that yeah i mean this person that that allows things to create your been as person who are lastings to creep in okay yeah all right apps and absolutely doing that
okay if clinton continue that kind of practice
a being this person who wench who loves things to creep in when you're the person who allows things to creep in
then i don't want when you ask me to do with yeah
not now be this person who didn't know i don't want be that person now
come on do it all away be i don't want i'm not going to get the
yeah that's the one as it we got now
and now we have somebody else yeah i've had this purpose this
somebody did you know your nike i know you're somebody who's talking about being somebody else
you're somebody now who you're missing that you're talking about somebody else you're missing it that's me but i it
i see what you do
and you get to be a person likes to decide right now that's who you are okay are you enjoying this
are you enjoying being this person you are okay to be decided by here and yes i love it gay well that's where the gotten our isn't it somebody who loves that gets absolutely no right thank you all can be used
okay well is a good time to stop because we usually stop at this time
the plastic very superficial question yes vydra strange thing to the right of your head
this dependent
it is it's a drum stand to put the drawn back on for fun
do you want to draw on your roger nice
and i'm a different here
what goes on here
what's this

well
i i hope you all had a as beautiful a day as i did
special thanks to aaron
these flowers
thank you thank you yearn for those flowers in
urban flowers
well and yeah and you know
ah
i wonder the things that was beautiful for me today which is often the case is that
huh
the temples already cleaner we get here
so then we can play cleaning the temple
it's really it's really just you know we don't have to do any work so we can we can play doing work and
the end it was fun wasn't a cleaning the temple even though we didn't have to
and i hope that you do the same when you leave your did you go out and take care of and clean the world that's already clean that's then we cleaned the clean we don't really have to so we just play clean clean
and i know some of the situation to the same dirty clean it don't let that stop you
the up to continue to playfully taken care of this world
and the snakes a new aboard can be that way we don't really have to do anything and yet there's plenty of stuff returned to do to do
so thank you for coming to player
hangar
happy new year
may i