I just heard the words, before Buddhas were enlightened, they were just like us. It made me think that there's different meanings of the word Buddha, or maybe different kinds of Buddha. One kind of Buddha is Buddha that appears in the form of a human being. But another which we call, that kind of Buddha is what we call the transformation body of Buddha. So Buddha can be transformed into the form of a human being, can also be transformed into many other forms. But then there's another Buddha which is called the true body Buddha, and that Buddha can be transformed into whatever form is helpful to unenlightened beings to encourage them to enter the Buddha way.

[01:11]

That form of Buddha is, I've been expressing it as, it's the silent, unmoving relationship, close relationship among all beings. The way we're all closely related to each other, the way we're close friends with each other, all human, and all humans with all other animals, and all animals with all plants, and mountains and rivers, and the way also unenlightened people are intimately related with enlightened people, but also the way unenlightened beings like us are related to the actual Buddha.

[02:19]

We are intimate with our intimacy. We are intimately related to our close friends. That's also called the true body of Buddha, the dharma body, the dharmakaya of Buddha. And that can get transformed in response to beings. So for humans, it gets transformed into a human, because humans are really into humans. Sometimes a harvest is transformed into a dog, because humans are into dogs. And dogs are into dogs. So for the sake of dogs, Buddhists can take the form of a dog or a human. For the sake of cats, Buddhists can take the form of humans or a cat. Buddhists can take the form of trees, mountains, rivers. So we say sometimes, the mountains and rivers of the immediate present are the manifestation of the path of the ancient Buddhas.

[03:33]

So I'm proposing that you and I, all of us dwell, I'm proposing sort of from the point of view of enlightenment. From the point of view of the Buddha's vision, I propose that we dwell, that we live in the truth. We live in the truth. The truth we live in is that we live in a truth of total graciousness. That's where we live. Or you could also say we live in the truth of a gracious totality, a gracious universe. We live in the wonderful truth, which is also the wonderful teaching, of perfect giving.

[04:51]

But unless we practice giving, we do not realize it. Even if you have a glimpse of the perfection of giving, even if you suddenly can see that you are giving yourself to everyone and everyone's giving themselves to you, and this is our actual life, even if you have a glimpse of that, if you don't practice that, you lose it. And when you practice it, you may not even have a glimpse of it, but you realize it. The giving practice is the actual realization of the truth of giving. Similarly, I just proposed to you that we, in truth, the Buddha teaches the Dharma that in truth the Buddha is the intimacy of all beings and the Buddha teaches that all beings are intimate.

[06:12]

But again, if we don't practice intimacy, we don't get it. We don't realize it. If we don't perform intimacy, if we don't perform giving, we don't understand it. If we don't perform perfect giving, We don't understand perfect giving. Bodhisattvas, as you've heard me say and you've probably heard other people say and read, bodhisattvas are beings who want to give their life. for the welfare of others. They want to give their life for the welfare of others and they want to realize the truth.

[07:14]

They want to realize perfect giving so that they can practice perfect giving and realize perfect giving and demonstrate perfect giving and inspire perfect giving among all beings particularly among beings who don't quite feel themselves in the swing of perfect giving. And perfect giving includes other bodhisattva trainings like bodhisattva precepts of compassion, bodhisattva practice of patience, bodhisattva practice of diligence, Bodhisattva practice of concentration and bodhisattva practice of wisdom, perfect wisdom, perfect concentration, perfect diligence, perfect patience, perfect practice of precepts, perfect giving.

[08:17]

And the thing that makes, in some sense, all the other In some sense, giving and wisdom are the beginning and end. And in a way, when you perform the precepts as giving, then the precepts are wisdom. When you perform wisdom as giving, the wisdom is perfect. When you practice concentration but give it away, it's perfect concentration, and so on. So the giving is really perfect wisdom. but we need to test the giving on precepts, patience, diligence, concentration, and wisdom. So bodhisattvas vow they desire to give themselves, and they practice giving themselves, and they realize that everybody else is giving themselves to them.

[09:34]

And they also understand, because of their practice of giving, they understand that everything is insubstantial, that nothing has any independent existence. And because they understand that nothing has any independent existence, they act in accord with that understanding, and acting in accord with the understanding, that things are empty is to practice giving. So Buddhas are transmitting giving. They're transmitting the practice of giving. Buddhas are transmitting veneration of Buddhas.

[10:44]

Buddhas teach beings how to love Buddhas. Veneration of the root of Venus. Buddhas transmit worship of Buddhas. When we venerate Buddhas, when we venerate and renovate the wonderful Dharma, when we venerate the Sangha, in that veneration we go for refuge in Buddha. We go for refuge in Dharma and we go for refuge in Sangha. When we go for refuge in Buddha, we venerate Buddha. When we go for refuge in the wonderful Dharma, we venerate the Dharma.

[11:45]

When we go for refuge in the Sangha, we venerate the Sangha. You can't go for refuge without veneration, and you can't venerate without going for refuge. I say to you, I say unto you, I give you this gift. I want you to understand, but I don't expect you to understand. I also raised the word worship last night.

[13:06]

And this street, this Heights Boulevard, on this street there's quite a few churches. And some people might call those buildings houses of worship, right? And when you hear the word houses of worship, you may have various feelings. But usually people do not, in America, we do not usually call Zen centers houses of worship. I've never heard them called houses of worship. And as a matter of fact, as I said last night, if we raise the word worship in a Zen center, people think that this place might have something to do with these churches around here, which many of us are trying to avoid. We thought we could have refuge from the churches by going to the Zen Center, and now this guy's talking about worshiping. Worshiping what? Well, actually, bodhisattvas worship everything that's worthy, because worship means it comes from worth.

[14:23]

Worship comes from worth. Recognizing and appreciating the worth of things. Bodhisattvas, when they're really into their practice, don't like or dislike. Or if likes and dislikes arise, they don't like or dislike the likes and dislikes. What do they do with the likes and dislikes? What do they do with the likes and dislikes? They practice giving. They give themselves to the likes and dislikes. They see that the likes and dislikes are gifts to them. And in practicing giving with likes and dislikes, they realize the emptiness of likes and dislikes.

[15:25]

And then they continue to practice perfect giving, where they have no attachment to some separation between giver, receiver, and gift. Between giver, receiver, and gift. They don't attach to that distinction. They see the emptiness of any separation between giver and receiver. And they do that with everything. And they see that everything's involved in this giving. And someone graciously mentioned to me that when she saw people here last night practicing worship and veneration, she felt that there was some danger in there.

[16:35]

And I would say, yes. So what are the dangers in worship? I would say the danger in worship, one of the dangers in worship anyway, would be to get distracted from the practice of giving in the midst of worship. So if you're worshiping something or something's worshiping you, if you lose track of the emptiness of the giver, the receiver, and the gift, if you start to hold onto something in the process, one could get really thrown about. When that worshiping really gets rolling, you know, if you hold some part of the process, you really get tossed about in big waves of change and turbulence.

[17:53]

And then all kinds of emotions could come up, all kinds of fear, and maybe in response to the fear, anger and violence. When we're afraid, we're at risk of violence. So it's possible, as people get into worshiping, that they'll become afraid and violent if they lose track of the giving that's going on while we're worshiping. And even if people are giving, as they get into a swing of giving and they feel the flow of the Dharma, the flow of the truth in our relationships. If you lose track of the giving and start to hold on when things start really moving around, again you can become frightened and violent. So there is some danger to cling to some part of this lively process of reality. Now the way to put it is, if you lose track of the giving that's involved in worship, you lose track of the emptiness that's involved in worship.

[19:13]

I think a lot of people naturally get into worship. A lot of little kids have, you know, set up little temples in the backyard. They make little forts, and they go in the fort, and you find out there's a little temple there where they're worshipping grass or something, or worshipping their dollies, or worshipping baseball players, or worshipping their mother secretly in their own way rather than in the way their mother would like them to worship. People suddenly not seem to come up with this worshipping thing. But what is not very common for children to come up with is that what you're worshipping and what's worshipping and the act of worship are empty of any independent existence. That's where the Dharma teachings coming in saying we're all closely related and because of that you can't get a hold of anything.

[20:18]

Because we're intimate, you can't get a hold of anything. Because we're intimate, you can't find anything. Because you're all supporting me and I'm supporting you, you can't find me. And I can't find you. And when we open to that, especially when we begin to open to it, and how do we open to it? Well, by practicing giving. Perfect giving means you understand emptiness. Opening to emptiness comes through practicing giving. And once you understand emptiness, you continue to practice giving and precepts and patience. Because I'm so intimate with you and you're so intimate with me, you cannot find me separate from you. I am not anything, not the slightest bit of an addition to your support of me.

[21:28]

I'm not something in addition to your support of me. It's not like you add up all the supports and then add something in addition. You cannot find me. All you can find is all the beings that support me, including all humans, but also including cotton. Is it cotton? Instead of instead of haircuts, teeth, history, past karma, the Buddhas and ancestors, the mountains, the rivers, all things are making me and you cannot find anything about me in addition to the things that make me and none of the things like you that make me are me. If you're not me, You're not me. You're not me. You're not me. But in fact, in truth, I'm exactly you. That's why you can't find me.

[22:30]

And the same for you, so I can't find you. And when I can't find you, because I see that you give to me and I give to you, I realize emptiness and then I also realize giving. And I also realize worship. I realize your great worth. Because you are a part, you are the realization of the Dhamma. Once again, as you know, the Heart Sutra says that when the bodhisattva of great compassion, Avalokiteshvara, was practicing deeply the perfection of wisdom, she saw that all five skandhas, in other words, she saw that everything you know, every color,

[23:51]

every touch, every taste, every feeling, every idea, every emotion, whatever you're experiencing is empty of any independent existence. She saw that. She saw that everything, all dharmas, all phenomena are totally innocent of any idea you have about them. is actually unfindable. Nothing is separate from you. Nothing exists separate from you. Nothing exists separate from me." She saw that. And this relieved all suffering. How did she see this? Because she's a bodhisattva. And what does she do? She practices great vows. She practices giving, she practices giving, she practices giving, he practices giving, he practices giving, until he sees perfect giving.

[25:03]

And in seeing perfect giving, he sees all diamonds are empty. And then when he sees all diamonds are empty, he practices giving. And then he teaches Shariputra. He tells Shariputra about what he saw. All diamonds are marked by emptiness, dear Shariputra. He gives Shariputra Dharma, Dharma presence. And he sees that Shariputra is giving him Dharma presence. He sees they're working together. And seeing that they're working together, again he sees that Shariputra and he are empty. This is worship of the Buddha. This is what it's like when you're worshipping a Buddha, worshipping the Dharma, and worshipping the Sangha. It's like that. Vast emptiness profoundly sweet with generosity and graciousness for all.

[26:05]

But not just generosity and graciousness for all, such a thoroughgoing graciousness that we realize that nothing has substantial existence. Nothing exists separate from us. We do not exist separate from anyone. So that emptiness helps us not cling in the process of giving. If we cling in the process of giving, things get really rough. And we sometimes think, rather than think better to have been generous and got messed up than to not have been generous at all. Some people think that. No, we think better to be generous and got messed up than not to be generous at all. So I think if you're generous, you will probably trip up on it now and then. As you're getting to flow, you probably will try to hold on to something and then get, as we say, thrown for a loop. Porn.

[27:11]

And so that's why it's a little frightening to open up to the practice of giving. On the other hand, the practice of giving is the way to become free of fear. Generally speaking, as far as I can tell, most of us are afraid most of the time, and particularly we're afraid of humans. So humans are very good things to worship. Because when we worship humans, it surfaces our fear, and then you can be gracious to the fear, And if you're gracious with the fear, you will become free of fear. And when you're free of fear, you'll be able to go more into the giving which evokes the fear. It brings it out, and then you practice giving with the fear, and the fear is neutralized. giving even more fully, and new fears come, and you practice giving with the new fears, and they disappear, and the giving gets bigger, and bigger fears come, and you practice bigger giving with them, and bigger fears come, until you face the biggest fears.

[28:24]

I guess the biggest fear is the fear of emptiness, the fear that actually I cannot be found. and nobody else can be either. And the bodhisattvas are adoring all these beings. They're adoring, they're being totally devoted to beings that they can't find. And because they can't find them, there's no obstruction to their understanding of beings, and there's no obstruction to their understanding of how to help beings, and there's no obstruction to their wish to help beings. But still bodhisattvas along the path do sometimes think that there's somebody to find that's a mistake and they confess and repent that. And one more little thing I want to say, not exactly little.

[29:37]

And just simply I said it last night and I said it quite a few times that we... I would distinguish between depression and sadness. When we... When we... are giving, which is always, and we don't see giving, we think sometimes that we're losing. We think that we gave something, we think we lost something. When we think we lost something, if we're lucky, We feel sad. If you think or I think I lost something, that's because I'm distracted from giving.

[30:47]

I don't realize that everything I think I lost, I actually gave. I came to Houston a while ago and took a ride on a bicycle, very nice bicycle. Loaned to me by John who? Who's Kathy? What's John's last name? Reed? John Reed loaned me a nice bicycle. I went riding on his bicycle on 43rd Street in Houston and for various reasons, I wound up smashed to smithereens on the sidewalk. Now at that time, I must confess. I must confess. I don't have to confess, but with your support, I do confess that I didn't really, I wasn't in touch with that I was giving my leg away.

[31:51]

I thought I lost my leg. I had this nice leg, which is great, actually great right leg. For 58 years, I had this great right leg. Terrific leg and sweetheart. But I gave it away. But I didn't see I gave it away. I thought I lost it. So when we think we lose our leg rather than we gave our leg, we're in delusion. But if we're lucky, the Buddhas give us sadness. And if we open to the sadness and see it's a gift and feel it, then we can let go and give what we think we lost. Our whole life to this moment, you might think you lost it. And if you do think you lost it, if you're lucky, you will be given sadness.

[32:56]

And if you open to that sadness, you will realize, oh, I gained my life. I gave every moment of it. I didn't lose my life. I didn't lose my childhood. I didn't lose my youth. I didn't lose my wonderful leg. I didn't lose my strength. I didn't lose my memory. I didn't lose my vision. I didn't lose my teeth. I gave them. So if we're lucky, sadness comes, and if we're lucky, it's good. well-trained, when the sadness comes, they say, oh, thank you for coming. I must have missed something here. Now, what did I miss? What did I give that I thought I lost? Sometimes you won't find out. Sometimes what you gave, which on some level you think you lost, and you're still grudging that gift. You actually gave it, but you have what he called giver's remorse.

[33:57]

But it's unconscious, you know? But the sadness comes, and if you open to the sadness, even unconsciously, you let go. You make retrospectively or retroactively, you give what you gave but didn't know or weren't willing to give. So sadness is medicine for people who are practicing giving who get off track. And depression is more like when you lose something, a leg, an eye, a gallbladder, a colon, a foot, your money. When you lose something, I mean when you get something, you think you lost it, and you have a habit of trying to get.

[35:05]

You have a habit of trying to get that's so strong that the sadness doesn't come, but you get depression instead. The depression's not such a nice, it's not the good medicine in a way, it's sadness. sadness with nature because it's open to it. But opening to depression doesn't seem to work the same way. So I encourage people, open to the sadness, enjoying the giving. But I wouldn't necessarily say...actually, but I wouldn't say just open to the depression. I would say be gracious to the depression. Give to the depression. Switch from trying to get to give. Give yourself. [...] Give yourself without trying to get anything. And if you try to see you're trying to get something, confess it. Confess it. And keep struggling to find your way to the path of giving.

[36:11]

And once you're on the path of giving, then you won't need depression anymore. Then you get sadness and grief. So when I fell off the bike, me and the bike, when we hit the sidewalk, my first thought was not, I give my body. I give my body to the sidewalk. I give my body to Houston. That was not my first thought. So I confess that I got distracted from giving at that moment. So then I had some sadness after that about this change in my leg, this new leg I got, called a broken leg. But then I noticed that I wasn't feeling generous about it.

[37:19]

I wasn't saying, hey, yeah, here, have the leg. And I have a new leg, which says, don't move. Don't move. This is not the moving. This leg is not for moving. Don't think about it. But I couldn't wait for that to say, thank you for that wonderful gift of this new leg. I had to be sad for a while first. And there was the hope that it wasn't broken. That's okay. It's okay to hope somebody's leg's not broken. But make that a gift. Don't try to get anything by hoping that it's not broken. Don't try to get it on broken leg by hoping that it's not broken. Just give the gift of, I hope it's not broken. And if you really give the gift of, I hope it's not broken, that will help when the doctor comes in and says, I'm sorry, sir, but it's broken.

[38:21]

We're going to have to operate. Then you say, oh, thank you very much. I have no complaint whatsoever. When she said that, I wasn't quite there yet either. Kind of like, couldn't you just set it? Put it back in place? But bodhisattva is working to say thank you for the gift. Thank you for the gift of looking at my leg, Thank you for the gift of offering me an operation. And I'm grateful to give you my leg to play with. I give you my leg to do your best with. I give you my leg for you to give yourself to my leg. I give you my leg. You give me your expertise. You give me your love. I give you my leg.

[39:22]

Also, I give you my love, but mostly I give you my leg, which I love. And now I have a new leg, which is not like the old one, and I'm trying to be gracious and loving to this leg. And you're being, and now, yeah, this one, now [...] this one, new leg and then moment given to me and you. Here's my leg, here's my leg, here's my leg. Now this is a form, I am, this is a house of worship. This is the kind of worship which I am demonstrating. I'm worshiping the dharma of giving. It means I'm worshiping the perfection of wisdom, the lovely, the holy perfection of wisdom, unstained. The entire world cannot stain her. She brings light to the worlds.

[40:27]

She's so wonderful, this perfection of wisdom, which I worship. I sing praises of the perfection of wisdom. I sing praises of the practice of giving. I sing praises of the wondrous Dharma, which means I sing praises of the Buddhas, which means I sing praises of the Bodhisattvas, which means I sing praises of our ancestors. who somehow has something to do with us having this wonderful teaching of giving, which is the wonderful teaching of the perfection of wisdom. I sing praises to them. I worship them. I'm worshiping them. You've seen me worship them. And if I worship the practice of giving but then get distracted from it, we can have problems. If I think, hey, I own the practice of giving.

[41:30]

I brought it here to you. I own it and I'm just sharing it with you. But really it's mine and you can have it all day. Then we have a big problem. Hey, they've got the practice of giving. Wow, look at that guy. What a great practice he's got. Then we've got a problem. And if you think you've got it and you own it and it doesn't belong to me, then we've got a problem too. But actually we're sharing the practice of giving. We have basically equal rights equal ownership, which means no ownership, because we're giving away the practice of giving. But if we see something and we think somebody's hoarding the giving practice, it's OK to say, yeah, I see a little hoarding over there. I think that the giving practice is more concentrated there than there. Hmm, that doesn't seem according to the way it should be. So whistleblowers are welcome. So this retreat is called Performing the Buddha Way, or the Buddha Way as Performance.

[42:48]

So I'm making an effort to perform the Buddha way, to perform the Dharma with you, to perform giving, to give you my words, to give you my thoughts, to give you my body, to make my body and my thinking and my words gifts to you, and also to realize that you are giving your body, speech, and mind to me. I'm performing that awareness here now. And now we have a place here in the middle of the Sangha where you can come forth and practice giving practice going to refuge in Buddhadharma Sangha, practice perfect wisdom, et cetera. This is kind of a little, what do you call it, a seat of enlightenment here. You can come and sit on the seat of enlightenment. And you can come and I give this to you. Thank you. And Joe, welcome Joe.

[43:57]

I praise and rejoice in the merit of our loving teacher, Galen. I praise and rejoice in the merit of our beloved teachers, our beloved donors who have given us a house here in Houston. Lovely. I praise and rejoice in the merit of the members of the Sangha who sustain our activities. Excuse me, do you have a moment? Do you have a moment to give? I'm giving my moment to you, Rev. Thank you. Do you feel the performance of the Buddha way coursing through you?

[45:18]

My heart is beating and my heart is open. Is your beating heart the performance of the Buddha way? My open heart is the performance of the Buddha way. Do you give your heart to the performance of the Buddha way? I give my heart to the performance of the Buddha way. I witness you giving it. May you always be like this. Can you hear him?

[46:20]

He wants to offer a confession and then he'd like to offer something else after the confession. I confess that it feels more intimate that I feel more vulnerable sitting here in front of Khyentse Rinpoche and in front of the Dharma. Thank you for that confession. Was that confession contended as a gift? It was. You're offering a gift of confession. Confession is a gift with bodhisattva's gift. You are performing the bodhisattva way by your offering of confession. Thank you for that. And now for something else.

[47:25]

I'd like to offer a true expression of complete intimacy with the song and by extension all of you. So here's the first one. Hello Sangha. I feel very close to you all very, very intimate. We feel very close to you. Thank you for expressing intimacy in this way with me. Thank you for saying that. Oh, right. This concludes the presentation. So that's the first expression. Are you ready for it? Very good.

[49:01]

So I understand what he is just expressed as sitting quietly. in upright posture is an expression of intimacy with the sun. And I think it's very good for us to be mindful of that, that when you sit together, each moment of sitting together is an expression of our intimacy with the sun. The performance, it is a ceremony celebrating intimacy. And. So I wasn't going to do this.

[50:45]

But the other day you were saying that songs can be an expression of intimacy. And I was thinking, so what song would I sing to Red? And I've been sitting with this for two days. So I have to operate it as this. And something is led to me and I start to sing. It seems we've sat and talked like this before. We looked at each other in the same way then. But I can't remember where or when. The closer we were, the closer you were. So while you were smiling, you were smiling then. But I can't remember where or when. The things that happened for the first time. To be happy again.

[51:50]

And so it seems that we have left before. And lived before. And loved before. But now we're elsewhere. You're so welcome. You're such a great inspiration. Homage to the perfection of wisdom and lovely the whole.

[52:56]

I'm saying the entire world cannot think I came to give a gift of confession. Could you stick up, please? I came to give a gift of confession. Could you stick up, please? I came to give a gift of confession. Thank you. That I've been holding back again. Thank you. Thank you. I've been truly celebrating your presence and honor.

[54:18]

And one thing more of it. I hear your confession. And because of that, I've been experiencing a feeling of guilt that I may, every time I come and feel my need to feel fulfilled. I'm taking space for others. Very good. Did you tell me that? Did you tell us that? Very good. But I decided to come along for it. Yeah. The way that the Bodhisattva way, I'm going to show it. Show us your honest expression of trying to get something out of practice. The teacher could try to get something from the student, too. The student can try to get something from the teacher. Can you imagine a student would try to get something from the teacher?

[55:24]

Well, apparently, Bhavya was trying to get something from the teacher, and she told us about that. So if you're any of you feeling that, you can realize that you're not the only one, because you've helped them. So they don't have to keep that a secret anymore, now that you've told them that they're not the only one. And once they realize they're trying to get something from the teacher, or get something from the Sangha, or get something from the Buddha, And we can trust that they have a chance to turn around and start giving to the teacher, giving to the son-in-law, not holding back. Also, I will confess that I was judging those gifts. I didn't like to say that word, the gifts, the negligence. He's a very good example of a good kid. Very good.

[56:27]

You're not bargain. But to give him an even market gift, either like a lot of gift designer gift. Why? It's all right. Yeah. Oh, this is great. Yeah, thank you. Celebrating my happiness in the practice. Great. And the closeness of all of us together. May we continue to practice together and continue to notice when we continue to notice, to kind of get a little bit more of something from somebody. And when we see somebody else do that, be gracious with them.

[57:31]

And when we see ourselves doing it, be gracious with ourselves. It's an ancient habit of our species. We come by it honestly. It comes with humanity. But we have a practice for it. Dear Mike, would you bring me my book, please? The book's enough. I was going to read you a poem by an English poet. I've heard about this poem. I heard that this French woman named Simone Bayer, if she memorized this poem, and in the process of memorizing it, she had an income.

[58:45]

I thought, I wonder what poem it is. So I looked it up, and I memorized the two books. Right now, I'm just going to read it instead of trying to do it from memory. Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back, guilty of dust and sin. But clear-eyed love, observing me grow slack on my first entry in, drew closer and sweetly asked if I lacked anything. That's right. A guest, I answered, worthy to be here. Walt said, you shall be she. I, the unkind, the ungrateful, the greedy, how, my dear, I cannot look on thee.

[59:53]

Love took my hand and smiling did reply, who made the eyes but I? Truth, dear, but I have marred them. Let my shame go where ducks reserve. And know you not, said love, Who shares the blame with you? Ah, my dear, then I will serve. You must sit down upright, said love, and taste my meat. So I did this. Please excuse me, George Herbert.

[61:01]

I've changed some lines. That's called love number three. There's two other loves. I changed, what I changed was, particularly I changed, know you not who bore the blame. I feel it's better to say know you not who shares the blame. Buddha does not carry our blame by separate from us. Buddha shares our blame. We're not separate from Buddha. Buddha's not doing all the work. We're not doing all the work either.

[62:04]

We're working together. Nobody's going to practice Zen for you, and you can't do it by yourself. But we are doing it together right now. The way we're practicing together is that we're right. Another guest is being offered. What you just said about not doing it alone, I'm always very grateful and touched when I come in with a song like that. It's art. And it occurred to me that everyone here may not know how that travel back to San Antonio to see our father. And there's an immense amount of support from everywhere.

[63:12]

But we feel it, definitely. And it comes up really often. How much the officials can do. I'm included in all? In all, yeah. I have a question about the practice of giving. And I find myself in the position of being in charge often and have Consciously tried to make it a giving practice. You've been given the position of being in charge, end quote. Yeah. And then I take charge at the gift. Otherwise, I'm headed. You receive charge at the gift? I try very hard. You try not to take charge?

[64:13]

I try not to. Yeah. When I do take charge, I find... I feel very tired. Yeah, I know about that. And that tiredness will burn away the taking and convert you to receiving. That's what I wanted to know. Yeah. You promise? I confidently promise. That if you confess and repent, how you feel when you take this name and you feel drained, uncomfortable, and then maybe slip into anger and maybe even violent. That when you confess that you're taking charge and then repent, which means you feel what it's like when you take, that if you do that practice, that will melt away the roots of transgressing from receiving to taking. I've seen many people practice confession and seen the root mouth.

[65:20]

And I've heard that all bodhisattvas and buddhas have practiced this way. I've never seen any contradiction in the tradition that before buddhas were buddhas, they were just like us. They were bodhisattvas. They made mistakes, but they confessed them and learned them. So if we take and we notice, oh, there's the taking, I confess it, and I feel this way about it, I feel sorrow about it, that process is a bodhisattva practice. It's mouth to mouth. I'm transgressing on my wonderful, auspicious, vast vows. But it's not so easy to do this practice, but you're doing it today. And a lot of people did. Also, you can do it in small groups, too. You can do it all by yourself in the presence of infinite Buddhas. I invite you to come and witness your compassion.

[66:24]

You're welcome. Thank you for your gift. Another gift. I read. I read. I'm not sure. How many other people in the room are in a similar situation of having just arrived to a retreat that's been going since Tuesday night? And I'm not sure how many of you have been here since Tuesday night, but I just wanted to offer my congratulations because whatever y'all have been doing, it feels like it's been working.

[67:34]

I have someone at home. He's suffering, and I will try to take the love in this room home tonight. the work you have to push. I thought of a story this morning and I took the story, took my version of the story.

[69:05]

And then I heard your talk this morning and it reminded me of the story again. So I thought maybe I could do that story to you and to the Santa. And I don't know why I like the story, but it's the story of an emperor in Chioka who decides to build a great big temple, like the biggest temple. And then in commissioning it, thinks, well, I better get a great big priest for this great big temple. And so he asks around, and people tell him, well, there was this monk who was kind of, he was studying koans. And one day he was reading this koan and he was enlightened and he just walked out the door and left.

[70:07]

But he would probably be the best person to preach to people. And so he looked around and could he find the priest? And some people said, well, I think he's living under a bridge with a bunch of peasants. So he thought about going there. He sent some people to look around the cage. And they looked and they said, well, there's just a bunch of peasants and rags and everything. We'll never be able to figure out which one is the first one who needed the priest. And then he asked around some more. And someone said, well, he used to like melons. Maybe if you take a melon, you figure out who the priest is. And so he took the melon and walked into the bridge, which probably, you know, smelled and there were people in rags and so forth.

[71:15]

He was wearing his silk clothes and everything. And so he carried the melon into the tarp and kind of shady place, and he saw someone in front of him, and he thought, well, maybe this is the person. And then he wasn't sure whether it was the priest or the monk. And this was 20 years after. I might get these stories the other way. Anyway, the monk had been under the bridge for 20 years, And so you don't want to recognize him. So he went under, he's holding a melon and he thinks he knows who it is. So he approaches the person and starts to give him the melon and hesitates and then says, I will give you this melon if you can receive it without extending your hand.

[72:17]

And I will receive this melon if you can give it to me without extending your hand. It's George. Thank you. First of all, I want to thank Glenn for coming up here a second time in a row because I wanted to come up here to say something, but I was unsure about doing that and feeling greedy.

[73:45]

And Glenn allowed me to come up here and express what I want to express. I think all of you guys are absolutely wild. And they're unique and special and lovely. And it's mind blowing. So thank you for being that way. Yeah. When you said, I want to thank Glenn, I thought you meant Glenn, your father. I want to thank Glenn, my father, as well.

[74:51]

He's absolutely a wonderful, wonderful father. And for taking me in here. Yeah, that's right. He must have been a wonderful father. He must have been a wonderful guy. Because look at you. And how wonderful it is that wild people like you are willing to wholeheartedly sit still and quiet. How wonderful it is that wild people like you are willing to sit

[76:01]

completely still and completely quiet for one moment. Even for one moment, it's a miracle. In the 60s, as you know, there was a thing that happened in San Francisco called the flower what? The flower revolution, they called it. Anyway, the thing happened in Haight-Ashford. And Haight-Ashford is right near the San Francisco Zen Center. And so when the hippie thing was happening, the Zen Center was really starting to grow. A lot of hippies went to the Zen Center. And they often came barefoot. And when they came to the Zen Center to meet the Zen Master, they were surprised that he said, wash your feet. He didn't think of them, not to tell them to wash their feet.

[77:10]

But their feet were filthy from walking on the street. They said, wash your feet before you come into the window. Well, they did. And after they washed their feet, they became blind students after our baptism. And in one time, I went to one of these famous, like the Grateful Dead and Jefferson Airplane, those groups. They would get free concerts in Golden Gate Park in the late 50s, before they were so famous. And even while they were so famous. And they would go to these things, and these fields would be covered with lots of people. And among them would be dentists. And most of the people were smoking pot. or other kinds of drugs. But most of the students were not taking any drugs.

[78:11]

And I was sitting near them. Of course, they were in an environment that had a lot of drugs in the air. So I don't know. So when the music started, I was very surprised. The first people to stand up and start dancing was the Vensters. The other people weren't high enough yet. I was proud of them. You know, get up there and be cool. Because they had to leave early because they had to go to sleep and get up early in the morning. Zen center, people, sometimes people think, not so much here, but sometimes at the Zen center, as the practice becomes more developed and more formal, sometimes people think it's kind of formal and maybe even cold. So they sometimes think that Zen is cold.

[79:18]

But anyway, the Zen path of the Bodhisattva is not cold. And we use these forms to see if we can practice these forms without getting sucked into them and continue to practice getting while we give ourselves to the form and then give the forms away. But there is some tendency to give yourself to the form and give yourself to the form and give yourself to the form and give yourself to the form. And sometimes subtly you think you own the form. but then hopefully other people in the sangha will help you realize that you don't own the form and help you give it away. Which is part of the reason why we have this practice of formal practice. We need to understand that when we're sitting quietly, not touching each other, really, which is our expression of love.

[80:24]

We're actually being quiet, but we can concentrate on loving each other. And then you get up from the quiet and see if we can continue to remember that we're loving each other, even when we start talking to each other and saying those things we say. And then if you lose track, sit down again. What are you doing here, Kimmy? I want to thank you all for your great gifts today, this morning. And I am very happy to continue practicing with you and watch you continue to practice giving, practice the perfection of wisdom together. And I hope you have good health. so you can continue this wonderful practice.

[81:30]

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