The topic of this series of meetings is what? Correct. Class is over. I knew it. Now, with the aid of this marker, I'm going to write in this board And I give it to you. And now we try another one. Oh. Better activity. More activity. Is not X. How X is engaged in Buddha activity?

[01:13]

Buddha activity is not X, but X is an opportunity to realize Buddha activity. Now, some X's are really sweet. Following your breathing. Taking care of your posture. Working in the kitchen. Those are exes. This is a present for yours. Take care of the place I'm in. I asked Ross to take care of me. He said, yes, of course. I was sleeping. That's an X. That's not Buddha activity, but it's an opportunity for Buddha activity, both in the sense of using that, yes, of course, to express Buddha activity.

[02:19]

And yes, of course, is a door. to see Buddha activity, to realize it. Following your breath is not Buddha activity. Following your breath is often, however, quite wholesome and beneficial. But sometimes following your breath is a catastrophe. For example, In some situations, if you're not taking care of what you're doing and following your breath instead, you might have, you know, a calamity, because actually you should be paying attention to something else. In the earlier days of Zen Center, some people who were working in the office at the city center were following their breath while they were answering the telephone. It did not work well. And, yeah, it wasn't a catastrophe, but anyway.

[03:26]

People who call do not want people answering to follow their breathing. They want them to be listening. However, following your breathing in a... although it's not particularly skillful, is an opportunity for expressing Buddha activity, and it is a Dharma door to realizing Buddha activity. So, there is a suggestion that all phenomena are engaged in Buddha activity. However, If we don't practice, we don't realize it. While you're breathing, although it's not Buddha activity, it is an excellent opportunity for realizing Buddha activity.

[04:30]

While you're following your breathing, you can wake up to Buddha activity. While taking care of your posture, you can wake up to Buddha activity. While listening to your friend Kroc, you can express Buddha activity and realize Buddha activity. Last week, I brought up that Mr. Proust, Marcel Proust, so he wrote this several thousand page novel, sometimes presented in seven volumes, sometimes more. Anyway, it was in French. He wrote it. And the name of the book is Remembrance of Time Lost, of Lost Time. And as I mentioned, at the end of the book, there's a chapter called Recovery of Lost Time.

[05:36]

So anyway, he wrote this book, and in the book he tells us about this person who has his name. In the book, the person in the book has his name, Marcel. He doesn't say Marcel. The name of the person in the book, the main character, is Marcel. And Marcel wants to be a writer. like Marcel Proust wanted to be a writer. However, Marcel in the book, that did a very interesting social milieu with lots of, you know, with the, what do you call it, the beautiful people of Paris. And he was like totally welcomed into being distracted from his work. What was his work? To be a writer. He wasn't doing his writing. He was so and feeling kind of bad about not doing his writing while he was not doing his writing.

[06:48]

And I remember one part of the book, he was home alone. He came to his mother's home. And he was just about to start to go to work. After thousands of pages, he's like, okay, now I'm going to start to work. And then somebody knocks on the door and offers him a wonderful opportunity to not do his work. Interesting evening in Paris. Unresistable social opportunity, and he abandons his job. inauguration of his work that he'd been waiting so many years to start. And at the end of the book, he lets us know that the entire book is made of nothing but the time he wasted. His masterpiece is just fully inhabited by all this wasted time.

[07:58]

He woke up to all the time lost, and the telling of all the time lost is exactly what he's been waiting his whole life to tell us about. So this was his masterpiece. But he had to do a little work to demonstrate that. And he did. He went over all of his wasted time, and in each of all of the wasted moments, he engaged them fully, and they all turned into Dharmadhara after Dharmadhara after Dharmadhara after Dharmadhara. And he recovered the time which was lost, which was never lost, because the content of are art. And people who have wasted many years on various kinds of addictions have the same opportunity to use all those moments where they've wasted their life, themselves and others, to use those to save beings.

[09:25]

All the wasted time is what we use to save people, to save beings. So again, the Buddha recommended being aware of the breathing, and also the Buddha said, no matter what you're doing, If you're aware of breathing, if you're aware of your posture, if you're aware of your feelings, whatever you've got going on in your mind, practice the way. There's no situation where you can't, even though the situation isn't the practice. Even the good situations aren't the practice. And of course, The Buddha encouraged people to practice wholesome activities, but they are the opportunities to realize the Buddha way, not just realize more wholesome things, which again are opportunities to realize the way.

[10:44]

So it's fine to keep doing wholesome things, but it would be nice if you realized the way while you're at it. One story I often tell is about this There was a ,, and he had some main disciples. And one of his main disciples, his name was ,, for short, ,, and a monastery, an elder monk. And he observed the old monk. One day he said to the elder monk, I really appreciate the way you help all the monks. The way you take care of them is just so inspiring. It'd be nice if you did something spiritual someday. Or it'd be nice if you re-engaged in Buddha activity.

[11:51]

But he said, in his translation I heard, he said spiritual activity. And in another case, this monk was leading some... The way you perform those ceremonies is so encouraging, so inspiring, so beautiful. It would be nice if you did something spiritual. And I think one more example, and then finally the monk said, what do you mean with something spiritual? He said, stop trying to get anything out of it. Buddha activity is not trying to get anything out of life. Ordinary activity often is. Trying to get something out of life is a domino to the life of not trying to get anything out of life. Buddha life. To liberate people from getting stuff and not getting stuff, which people are usually into. But if you're into getting something, that's not .

[12:59]

However, not the Buddha way is an opportunity to realize Buddha activity. In some ways, the people who are wholeheartedly trying to do the Buddha way, in some ways, they're not as fully doing the Buddha way as the people who are trying not to do the Buddha way. But even so, they're still actually engaged in Buddha activity, but they don't realize it because they're distracted by thinking that they're doing the Buddha way. Being distracted is another opportunity. So yeah, so that's pretty much it for now. Is there anything that you wish to bring up about this? Yes.

[14:04]

When you say, use the word realize, are you using that in a sense of become conscious of, or to realize as in to actualize into reality? The second one. Actualize into reality. Yeah, and when you said something about become conscious of. So the word realize means both understand and actualize. You could also say actualize, but actualize doesn't necessarily have the connotation of understanding it. You can say understanding, but understanding doesn't have the connotation of to make actual and real. What if I like the word realize? So it's realized, but at the moment of realization there's not necessarily any recognition of the realization. There could be a recognition of the realization at the moment of realization. However, the recognition is Self, as we chant the new service, that which can be met with recognition is not realization itself.

[15:08]

Realization of self is realization of self. It's not something that's recognized by some other mind, which realizes the mind that understands is the mind that actualizes it. Or it's the mind which is the actualization, But one can recognize it. And that leads to the other phrase, which is in that text. If the practice and the realization were two things as it appears to an ordinary person, each could be recognized separately. But another translation says . The practice would be able to look at the realization, and the realization would be able to look at the practice. But that's not so. Practice and realization in this teaching, that's one thing.

[16:18]

That's the practice, which is the realization, and the realization, which is the practice. When I was a little boy, my dad used to, in the springtime, he would, he would say, Easter time is the time for eggs, and the time for eggs is Easter time. And he would pat his knee, if I did it, and go like this. I forgot how I did it. It's Easter time, it's time for eggs, and time for eggs, it's Easter time. Practice is realization, and realization is fact. And although we go laughing, if it is kind of funny, some other people think it's boring.

[17:28]

What's the realization practice? What's the practice realization? And so it isn't just the sotas. Other students of the Bodhisattva also said, our meditation practice is enlightenment. Enlightenment is our meditation practice. Our daily life is enlightenment. Enlightenment. There is no Buddha way aside from your daily life. And again, ordinary people often think, okay, we got daily life, I got that part. Where is the enlightenment? It must be something other than this. It must be something other than this. It must be something other than this. You must be being with somebody other than this. The bodhisattvas must be someplace other than here.

[18:37]

It's quite normal. I mean, she said not normal. Abnormal.com. And this, as many people have mentioned before, is uninterrupted, unceasing, unthinkable, unnameable. And all this does not appear in perception, does not appear within consciousness. Things can appear in consciousness, like, for example, Somebody could stand up and say, unceasing, uninterrupted, unthinkable, unnameable Buddha Dharma. They could say that. You'd say, well, there, I just... I perceived it.

[19:42]

But we perceive the talk about it. We can't perceive talk about it in consciousness. But it doesn't appear in consciousness, even though consciousness is the working of it. Because again, if it appears in consciousness, then it and consciousness are two things. And no, consciousness itself is actually showing us the Buddha activity. And we have the opportunity to practice with it, with that sense of, here's a conscious moment, it's so painful, and I'm going to take such good care of it, that the Buddha activity will be expressed. I'm not committed to this. If this never happens again, it's okay.

[20:45]

But when this is happening, I'm committed to express the Buddha activity at this time with this and not wait for something else. And I'm training to learn how to do that. To be that way, to practice that way. And it's hard because our minds keep thinking there must be some better thing than this. And I've told you many stories about when I thought there was something... Even when I had the so-called Zen master right in my face. So I ask you, do you have some stories about me not believing what I'm talking about today? I mean, I remember them.

[21:47]

Do you? Have you heard them? They're such wonderful stories. Okay, let's hear it. I think you were talking with someone and you felt like the energy was just draining out of you. and you kind of wanted to go away, and then you said to yourself, I'd love to be ready, which is kind of also remembering the other is you, and then you were able to excuse yourself. Does that fill the middle? It fills it. When someone goes into that little kitchen over there, a water container, and fill it with water, and bring it to me, and about to pass out.

[22:48]

So yes, Sonya, that's a good example. Isn't that taking care of yourself? It sounds like it to me. It sounds like that's kindness to yourself. What she just said? you were being kind to yourself, you weren't able to maintain whatever feel that you needed to take care of yourself, and you did something about it, which was to set up... If I understood the story... The way she told it was a little inaccurate. Oh. Did I add something? She got the basic situation. Do you want to add something? Did I add something? Yeah, you kind of did add something. So here's a story. And I was with somebody. And thanks for the water. It's like, looks great. Can I drink this, please?

[23:52]

Guess what this is an opportunity for? Oh. Wait for it. This is not Buddha activity. but it's engaged in Buddha activity. So she said there was a situation where I was with somebody and I was feeling sinking, and I tried to get away from the situation because my energy was sinking. This person was talking to me, but I couldn't even say, could I go, or please excuse me, or thank you. Because every time I was about ready to say, would you please, could I go, he would start talking faster. He would sense maybe that, you know, I don't know what, there was time to not let me say anything. So I'm just getting weaker and weaker.

[24:57]

And the part that Sonya adds, that I said to myself, I didn't say to myself. Mm-hmm. a voice said, I love you, Ruby. And when I heard that, I, you know, I was able to, my life came back in me, and I was able to just say, thank you very much, see you later. But I was not engaging the situation of being suffocated. I was trying to get away. And the more I tried to get away, the weaker I got. The more I struggled and resisted, the weaker I got. And then something came to me and said, And then I was there.

[26:03]

And then I could say, bye-bye. And the time before that, I woke up to that I was taking care of myself then, too. That was fine. That makes the story. That really, it was the darkness. Yes. So, a little bit ago, you were, like, pointing out how we kind of try to change the situation, get into a better situation, take the situation out. But then there's very basic things that we need to do to change the situation to make it better for us. Like, for instance, to ask for a glass of water. You have a sense like, hmm, I'm thirsty, and this is maybe even becoming a problem. I need to get a glass of water. So you're kind of like altering your environment. You're asking somebody to do something for you. What's the difference between doing that in a way that is an expression of enlightenment, practice realization, versus the more mundane way of getting to the glass of water?

[27:13]

If I were trying to get to the glass of water by saying, would you bring me a glass of water? That's how I was trying to do that. Just to give an example. Let's say I was actually trying to get to the glass of water. Okay? That's not Buddha activity. That's trying to get water activity. Not that bad, most of the time. Especially if you ask for it rather than take it from somebody else, or drill for it in some place you shouldn't be drilling, et cetera. Would you bring me some water if somebody brought you the water? It's not Buddha activity. What's the Buddha activity? At every moment in the process, there's an opportunity to wake up. The Buddha activity that's going on simultaneously with trying to get the water. I could also... I could try to stop myself from getting the water, because I don't want to get involved in anything mundane, like getting water for me.

[28:27]

That could be another opportunity. to realize that could be, that is another opportunity. Asking for water from me, from you, or avoiding asking for water so I can do super-mundane practice, those are all mundane activities, and they're all opportunities for the super-mundane function of Buddha. They all are dormant doors. And then to go through that dharma, to express prajnaparamita in the asking for the water or the getting of the water, it's to express compassion in the asking for the water. It could be that you are consciously intending to ask for the water, and you actually ask for the water and say, here's the opportunity to express the blue mind as I ask for water. And that's the difference.

[29:30]

That's what makes it different. That doesn't make it different. That's what wakes you up to what it is. It's not really different. You wake up to it. It's not different. Whether you do the practice or not, it's no different. And when you wake up, you realize that you were doing it when you didn't realize it. But you didn't realize it. And when you realize it, you realize there's no difference between realization and not-realization. That's one of the good things about realization. Before that, we're kind of like caught by there's a difference between realization and not-realization. And one's like really the pits, and the other's like really great. That's what we think before realization. Or maybe that's some other scenario. Whatever they are, it's not. Realization realized, oh yeah, it wasn't that. It was always this. It was always, it was always Buddha activity. But before I used to think, well, this is Buddha activity. This is not.

[30:31]

I had that problem for a while. And then I woke up and I subjected. Any other stories of why I didn't believe? Yes. Well, I didn't believe, yes. I just had a question. You can ask a question even though it's not a story. Does it express something? What does it feel like? Like a dropping bag? It doesn't feel like anything. You use the things you feel to expect productivity. What activity, as you may have heard you've been around for a little while, is not within reach of feeling or discrimination? Does that ring a bell? It's not within reach of feeling or discrimination. How could it admit of consideration and thought? A minister serves the Lord. Shaman will pay their parents. Do you know that part?

[31:34]

It's not within reach of feeling or discrimination. It's not within reach of feeling or discrimination. How could it admit consideration and thought? So it doesn't feel like this or look like that. What about feelings and looking? Those are the opportunities for it. Things to feel are opportunities to realize the Buddha activity, which is not a feeling. This feeling comes and goes. This feeling comes and goes. This is an opportunity. This is an opportunity. But they're not... They aren't... ...feels. They're the way you feel when you practice using our people. So we don't avoid what's going on. But we also understand that what's going on is just a temporary conceivable version of our life.

[32:39]

We can use that. And we can also notice that when certain feelings are happening, we can notice, you know, I don't think this is a good feeling to use. I think I probably should wait for a better one. Because this one really hurts. Or this one is below average. So we can notice that we're passing up on some of the feelings. But when you stop passing up on feelings, that's not another feeling. You follow that? So here's a feeling I pass up on that. Here's a feeling I pass up on that. Passing up on it is not... But when you're passing up on a feeling, you could use passing up. Just like Bruce, he passed up on it. He passed up on the opportunity to step, to practice, to write. He passed up, he passed up, he passed up, he passed up. And what's inside of it not passing up, it's all passing up.

[33:43]

His book is not a feeling, it's about feelings. He's like Mr. Supreme. He's like the supreme describer of feelings. He knows so much about desire. The book's full of how His desires distracted him from the work. And the work was describing the desire that distracted him from the work. So anyway, realization doesn't feel like this or feel like that. Realization is using feeling like this, and using feeling like that, and using feeling like this, and using feeling like that. And there's no other practice than using what's going on with you, your daily life. But again, human beings usually think, This is the one... We should have a different feeling to realize the Buddha way.

[34:47]

And the Buddha way should feel different from this. But again, that discrimination is not so much a feeling, it's more like discrimination. That discrimination is the current opportunity, the current Dharma door. Is that clear? I think so. Like, feeling is still within consciousness. Yeah. However, and consciousness has the opportunity to realize what's not bounded by consciousness. You can use the bounded consciousness to realize what transcends consciousness. But if you try to get out of consciousness to the transcendence of consciousness, you don't have the opportunity, which is the bounded type of consciousness, which has a whole world in it.

[35:49]

But it's limited. And not accepting the limited mind, which limited minds have trouble doing, Not accepting being suffocated, which I was having trouble accepting, but somehow I got a message, and when I got the message, I stopped trying to get away from being suffocated, and I stopped trying to get away from suffocating. You got away. But I, you know, I got this little blessing, this little gift, this little dharma came to me. in the form of that, I love you rep. It could have been something else. And it was my father's voice. I don't know. He did. Okay? So it's not within reach of feeling or discrimination, and it's not the slightest bit someplace else of feeling or discrimination.

[36:54]

But it's not a feeling. It's just not trying to get away from the feeling. Feeling is actually teaching. When feeling is doing, put it out there. Yes. I think having this experience, the words, and then I ask myself, what does that mean? And it's a simple word like using or expressing, like using what's going on to express Buddha activity. And I realize I don't have a clear sense of what that activity is. Like when you use something, what is it that you're doing? And then when you express, like what is it that you're doing? the texts that are sort of in the background here, of when you express the Buddha mind seal in your three actions.

[37:57]

But I'm going to stop there. He goes on, in your three actions, by sitting upright. You can stop before saying sitting upright, and you can just say, in your three actions. But you can also go on and say, when you express the Buddha mind in your three actions, speech and thought, by sitting upright. Sitting upright can be a mental action, it can be a postural action, and it can be a vocal action, being quiet. So you're sitting quietly like a great, serene Buddha. You're karma. You're thinking you're sitting, your posture's upright, and you're quiet. These are your actions. And what are these actions doing? They're expressing the Buddha mind. They aren't the Buddha mind.

[39:02]

they are expressing the Buddha mind. So like, in some sense, sitting in this way, you're sitting like a picture of a Buddha, right? But not just that, you're actually saying, I'm offering as an expression of Buddha mind. You're using your practice or you're receiving your practice, the gift of your body, as an opportunity to exhibit, to play, to reveal Buddha activity through your kamma. And whether you're doing that or not, your karma still is a door to that.

[40:04]

So you can use your karma. You can sit, and in fact, many people do that. They sit in meditation halls or something, and they sit there, demonstrate, to reveal, to display Buddha activity. That's what they're doing when they're sitting. They're doing that for the world. So it's express. the Buddha form, but also to be impressed by the Buddha form. So it's to express and to be impressed. Express and impress. So you're letting the Buddha move your body, and you're using your body to express the Buddha.

[41:05]

And this is the Buddha, this is the way of Buddha, that your life is expressing and being impressed. And you wish to offer your karma which is going on. You offer your karma for this purpose and you let this purpose be impressed on your karma. And your karma is, you know, whatever, sitting, asking for water, And so on. But we have to join that. Otherwise, it's still going on, but if we don't join that, we miss it. Even though it's going on, we can miss it. Because we're using our life for some other purpose than Buddha activity. We miss that our life is always used for that purpose when we don't join that. Yes. Can you talk about or think about Buddha activity in terms of karma production or the lack of?

[42:19]

Yeah. So Buddha activity is not separate from karma production, and it's not karma production. It's not what? It's not karma production. Buddha activity is the way karma production really is. Buddha activity is the way karma production is, actually. And the way karma production is, is that it's not karma production. Karma production actually is free of karma production. If we don't use whatever karma production that we have, as the opportunity, and we miss that revelation. So commonly, in the current production factory, people are looking for some other opportunity other than this one as the opportunity.

[43:23]

They're looking for better and better. They're trying to get something. Even though they've already got it, they're looking for something else. And that seems to be the karmic production. Karmic production, to me, is kind of like work for some other karmic production than this one. It's actually the cessation of the seeking of non-karmic production. It's the cessation of seeking non-karmic production, even without stopping the non-karmic production. without moving a particle, you cease carbon production. You're totally there with carbon production, seeking some great production. You're totally there, and you realize no carbon production. And generally speaking, to complicate things a little bit, if you do positive carbon production,

[44:25]

your chances of realizing ceasing karma production are greater than if you do unwholesome karma production. Sorry. I'm here just teaching about this not being discernible by consciousness, but I also feel like you're teaching experientially. When you just answered that question, I feel like you're coming from a place of Yeah, an experiential realization of what you're telling us now. So can you describe to me how an experiential realization in practice relates to this teaching of the subject of this teaching not being available to... Our actual experience is Buddha activity.

[45:34]

And what popped in my head was I had the opportunity of being with Kimo's uncle, who is a professional philosopher. His specialty is Kant. And Immanuel Kant followed after another brilliant philosopher named Hume. And Kant noticed that Hume thought experience was perception. So experience is not within reach of perception. All this, however, does not appear within perception. because it's unconstructedness and stillness. It is immediate realization. It is immediate experience. Realization is real experience. But real experience is not limited to the realm of perceptions.

[46:38]

The experience includes your consciousness, and also your body, and also your unconscious process, and your relationship with everybody. So your experience is actually your relationship with all beings, how they are actually giving rise to you, and how you're giving rise to them, transforming your unconscious into unconscious. That's your actual experience. That's what's actually going on. That's Buddha activity. But it doesn't appear within perception. However, in the realization, you can use perception and language Share this with people. So you can use the realm of perception, you can use the realm of consciousness to share the realm which integrates consciousness with the totality of our life. The realization is that our conscious realm, which is limited, and which is not our actual experience, but only a small part of it, you can use that realm to demonstrate this only by being really respectful of consciousness, of perception, of our experience.

[48:01]

But a reduced version of our experience is calling for great compassion. Linda Ruth was playing with that on Sunday, playing with one meaning of grandmother mind, and it's to be compassionate. I would say, for now, to be compassionate within consciousness, to be compassionate to your own conscious activity, feelings, and perceptions, including your perceptions of other people, the kind of those perceptions, the kind of those people. be kind to those discriminations, and that opens you to realize that there's no other Buddha way than these things you're being kind to. And to be no other Buddha way, even though one of the things you're being kind to, is to sense that there's something other than this.

[49:07]

When you're the director of the monastery, and you keep asking your teacher, would you please teach me the Buddha Dharma? You can't believe that doing the Buddha Dharma work, that there's no other Buddha way at that moment to join your administration. You can't believe it. You ask the teacher, the teacher says, do your administration work. There's no other Buddha way for you. Now, if you're a tenzo, then you would be doing your tenzo work. That you can proceed. That's not the Buddha way, your administrative work. But there's no other Buddha way than taking care of your administrative work. So subtle. So subtle that great athletes couldn't believe it. So you can't. It's totally so understandable. And even when you start to believe it, and believing this is the other meaning, is the Zen meaning of grandmother mind, is not just being kind, but to believe that there's no other Buddha way than your daily life.

[50:26]

Now some grandmothers, they don't think there's anything other There's no other realm to be concerned with other than . Yes? So if was doing activities after he's been enlightened, is that good activity? Say again? after he's enlightened, So is that Buddha activity? No. The activity you keep doing is Buddha activity. However, his washing his feet is not Buddha activity. But when he washes his feet, he does not look for something other than washing his feet as Buddha activity.

[51:32]

And he realizes. He uses washing his feet to realize Buddha activity. Buddha washing his feet is no longer washing yours. His washing his feet is just like yours, both your foot washing and his foot washing are opportunities to express. And Buddha never, no matter what Buddha was doing, Buddha would not miss any time. Or if we sometimes still think, hmm, this, not this. Maybe later. Or I'm using this, but I can't believe it. I can't believe that what I'm doing is . I'm curious to pair the one of the things you mentioned of there's certain activities will help us become more likely to become aware?

[52:36]

I think you were talking about the karma generation and non-karma generation. Are there certain activities that would be more conducive towards us becoming awake? Well, not so much becoming awake, but more likely to talk with someone in pain to be awake with them. Right. And then somehow to say, okay, these things can help us become more likely not finding something else to be awake with. And then that's when we, our minds might perhaps start to say, that means those are good activity, and we start prioritizing and labeling goods and bads and all that. Yes, but that might not be helpful. Right. But it might do. Right. I think that maybe that would be helpful. Activities would help you more be present and not look for something else through your life. And wholesome things tend to make us work with what we've got rather than trying to get something else.

[53:43]

Unwholesome things, we're trying to get something else. To us, we're also oftentimes not even noticing that we're trying to get something else. I mean, we are trying to get something else, but we don't really know what kind of get something else. It's quite wholesome to actually notice, oh, actually, that's kind of wholesome. I mean, that's a whole, that's an insight. Like Major said, you may think I'll try to do things without trying to get something. Maybe I'll do things as gifts rather than trying to get. And that would help me then more and more, rather than trying to get something without doing it. Give something while I'm doing it. That will help me be here and not look for someplace else. So practicing generosity does help us settle into working with this. But that settling into is using what we're doing as the opportunity. where a lot of times we're not settled.

[54:48]

And then from not being settled, we're doing things to be further not settled. And that's usually somewhat unwholesome. But even when we're doing wholesome things, A little bit like the story of that monk, still was going to try to get something from Holston. But still, obviously Holston, somebody might say to you, you're doing so great, it'd be nice to get something spiritual. If you weren't going to get something from Holston, you wouldn't even be able to point that out. If somebody's doing something unwholesome, then we say, you're doing some bad stuff, it'd be nice if you did something spiritual. That doesn't quite work the same way. It's when you're doing something good. Like, again, that story of Tetsu Bihai. He was an excellent director. He was an excellent director once, but he's still enjoying that. But he kept being that way, so he got this teaching, you're still looking for something other than this. you still think there's some other super great Buddha way other than this.

[55:54]

And you're good enough for me to tell you that. If you were teaching how to be a good director so I could tell you that you are a good director and you don't have a grandmother mind. Some good directors get told that they don't have a grandmother mind. Unskillful directors get quite hard to be a skillful director, so then they give it to all. By doing wholesome things, that kind of means something to you. But if you're just doing unskillful, mindless stuff, you're not even ready for spiritual teaching. Usually. You know, and I have children, because you... That's what the university said, you know. in your good life, so you can use this. And usually, we can practice wholesome ways to help us be able to use this and nothing other than this to express a good attitude.

[57:11]

We will read the unit. Usually that helps. But it's not good activity. Yes? I'm listening to you. I'm trying to get something. Well, thanks for your confession. And so in this case, using this, he's trying to get something. Okay? You confess that, and you can repent it, and then you start over. And now you're listening to me, right? Maybe for a minute there, before I say anything like that, you... For a second there? And you're just listening? I'm not trying to get anything out. What made that happen?

[58:13]

In moments like that, then your activity can regenerate, which it was there before, but because you were trying to go someplace else, you didn't get it. So it's sometimes to find a place where you don't get anything comes by admitting that you are trying to get something. Like, you're trying to get something, and somebody sits Are you trying to get something? And you go, yeah, I am. And then for a little bit, you're right there trying to get something. And that's it. You're not trying to get anything. You're only trying to get something. And then trying to get something opens up and reveals the Buddha, which was there, but because you were going to some place so generous with it. A question about aspiration prayers and vows.

[59:21]

It seems like it's slightly different than my karma generation. It's like even aspiring to just participate in the pre-conscious unfolding of good activity. That's definitely a thought. It's the thought of what wouldn't exist. Participate in the activity fully, let it express itself via whatever moment happens to be happening. What's the kind of like the charge of an aspiration like that? And what's the value of doing that? Yeah, I guess I'll just sit like that. The aspiration, for example, to realize guru-hood, dash, which is . The aspiration is the source of the practice of using whatever you're doing to express the Buddha, particularly.

[60:35]

An aspiration isn't necessarily common. You know, you meet somebody and it's aspirational, it's a consciousness. It isn't something that you did. But it seems to build momentum the more you do it, the more you say an aspiration prayer or make a vow. It seems to gather some momentum, but it's not necessarily. Wishing to do something, the wish to do something can arise in mind. And then you can also then think about doing something about it. But the actual wish is not necessarily permanent. And the wish, if you commit to it, then that tends to strengthen the wish. It then can be accepted and committed to. It strengthens it more. So then this aspirational energy which is not necessarily karmic.

[61:40]

And what you didn't make happen, but somehow you accepted and committed, and you didn't make those happen, and you're starting to see how things actually work. You don't make what comes up in your consciousness happen. But you do get what I would like to be like. But even aspiring, if you do have a perception of the thing you're aspiring to, or at least some inkling or projection, like Buddhahood might be lovely. So it is... It's still some discriminative, some lever is in there somewhere. There seems to be a discrimination in your mind, the thought, Wouldn't Buddhahood be lovely? Yeah. And it also might be carrying teaching, which is saying the thing you're aspiring to, which you have a discrimination about, is not within reach of the discrimination.

[62:50]

So I have a thing in my mind, and the thought, Buddhahood would be lovely, I can discriminate, there can be discrimination of a box, but this thing I'm talking about is not within reach of the discrimination about it or other things. And I could also have a thought, wouldn't being cruel be cruel to people like us? Because this person really needs to be cruel. but they deserve some cruelty, and I think I know somebody who'd care to. That's part two, creating the aspiration, and the discrimination between the two. But actually, the wish to be mean is within the reach of discrimination. It's pretty much just discrimination, there's only two besides that. However,

[63:52]

When you aspire to Buddhahood, you might be receptive to the teaching that what you're aspiring to discrimination by what you aspire to. Just like Cole said, how does it feel? Also, do you feel good to aspire to Buddhahood? Do you feel good to aspire to Buddhahood? You might also understand that that good feeling you had doesn't reach Buddhahood. And that feeling you had, which was a nice one, about Buddhahood, if that feeling went away, your aspiration to Buddhahood would go away. If you feel good, you can aspire and feel maybe not much at all. Maybe you feel neutral, maybe you feel pain. And you might understand I don't feel pain because of the aspiration, it's just the pain that's there. But I might also even feel pain at the aspiration because I might think, this is going to be so hard, this thing I'm wondering so much about.

[65:01]

But these feelings of difficulty or ease, I don't reach it. And if you're a teacher, you might say, well, I think that's true. A Buddhahood I'm looking for is not just like circumscribed by this nice feeling I have when I think about it. Plus, I also understand that I'm inspiring things And no discrimination I have about it reaches it. And actually, that's what I'm inspiring is something that nobody's discrimination can reach. I like that Buddha better than the one that some people's discrimination can reach. And some people do think that their discriminations about Buddhahood do make all the... The teaching says no. But also the teaching doesn't say you have to stop discriminating about Buddhahood as you approach Buddha. You can keep discriminating all the way along. And all the discrimination is like Buddhahood, like it would really be good, it's the best.

[66:05]

It's not this and it's not that. All the discriminations do not have to be eliminated. and they can go right along and progress towards realizing it. We're not trying to get rid of the things that do not reach it. We're just being told to remember that these things do not reach it. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't respect them. If you take care of the things that don't reach Buddhahood, you will realize Buddhahood. All the things that don't reach it, if you're kind to them really wholeheartedly and don't try to get ahead of them, all those things will turn into dominoes. If you don't reach Buddhahood, but they'll show you Buddhahood, they'll show you how to enter. And the way to enter it is be kind to them.

[67:08]

And also, remember, there's no other Buddha way than what you're working with right now. Yes. One of your stories, another part of what you brought up early in the talk. So you mentioned an example early on about addicts, for example. If you're around an addict, there's a But let's just say if you're around an addict, you could be harmed many, many, many, many times. And at a certain point, this situation like you were describing where you felt yourself, you might be wondering if that's really healthy for you to be around that person. Isn't having some skillful means to recognize that that might not be a healthy situation for you?

[68:17]

Isn't that... I mean, I guess I'm asking. Isn't it skillful then to take care of yourself that way? It might be skillful to take care of yourself, okay? And right while you're being skillful, take care of yourself, okay? At that moment that you're doing this skillful thing, You asked me to guess what, so I guess what. So I can be open to what that experience is. And being skillful is not buddha activity. As I said, buddha activity is not skillful. It transcends that. Buddha activity is using skillful behavior to realize buddha activity. And before you started to do that skillful thing, with this difficult situation you have, before you get the skillful thing, you, or whoever, before you did it, when you were in your pre-skillful phase, all those were also opportunities.

[69:30]

Right, and if you've used all those opportunities to attempt to make some kind of, some way to benefit And then it goes nowhere at a certain point. You let go and say, this is not for me to... You have the situation. It's an opportunity. You don't use the opportunity. It's a shortcut. You've made whatever good to drive you back to that situation. It's a valid situation. You have not awakened to its reactive. You have not awakened to it. So then you try this, and maybe you awaken to that. At some point, anyway, you start working with what you've got. But if you don't work with what you've got, you work with something else.

[70:36]

Now this is a new opportunity. If I'm being unkind to you, and I agree I'm being unkind to you, and you feel like I'm being unkind to you, that's an opportunity for you to work with this. And if I try working with that, there's no change over a long period of time? When I say an opportunity to work with it, I don't mean an opportunity to change. I need an opportunity to wake up. I might wake up too. I don't want to have that in my life. But that's another opportunity. That's not reactivity. The thought, I don't want this in my life. It's just, it's a human thought. We're not forgiving human thoughts. In what way?

[71:38]

We allow human thoughts. And we work at allowing it completely. And if we can't allow it completely, then we can't avail ourselves. So I observe all that, and then I realize that this doesn't seem like it's a healthy situation. Is there any moment after many opportunities that I can say that this is not a healthy situation? Let's just start with that. Let's just say this is not a healthy situation. I thought we started with this is not a healthy situation. No, actually, well, the example might be that it started like you felt loving, I'm going to use you as an example, you felt loving feelings for that person, and then they harmed you over and over and over. Okay, so now I'm feeling the situation is unhealthy. I thought that situation was unhealthy.

[72:41]

And I realize it's unhealthy. What most people do in situations like that is they try to get away. In other words, they're not going to use the situations to help themselves. You might give the benefit of the doubt, the benefit of the doubt, the benefit of the doubt, and you have your goodwill towards somebody, and then after a while, you might suddenly notice, oh, this is... When you say give the benefit of the doubt, what do you mean? You don't consider that it was... You think that maybe they... I don't know.

[73:53]

You don't take it into yourself, but after a while, somebody does it over to a point where it seems pretty clear that they're actually trying to harm you. Okay, so let's say... We have a situation, and it seems clear to me that somebody's trying to harm me. Okay? I think they are. And I have to remember who I am. So we've got to be there. Maybe they said something like, no one will ever believe you. No one will ever believe you. Is that what you want to have the person say? No one will ever believe you? Is that what the person is saying to me? Okay. That's my opportunity. And if I practice kindness towards the situation which I just described, I'm saying that I will realize.

[74:59]

that Buddhists should be realized by that way of relating to this situation. Give me an example of what you mean. I can't go into this particular article so much because it doesn't help me as much as a real example. So give me a for example. Somebody is choking me. Somebody is choking me. Is that a real example? Well, it could be more subtle than that, right? Are there any examples that you want, different ones? Right, no, it's okay. I mean, well, that one's a really good one. Basically, that's what I'm talking about. If we're being given examples, and we want different examples. You say no, and that's another example. Okay.

[76:01]

You know, you disagree. No, okay. I'll, I'll. Okay. And that's, and that's an example. It's your view. But to cut to, um, anyway, should I just start with chickens are into tomatoes? You're an example of something where I think at a certain point you have to come to the realization that it's not a safe situation for you. Okay, I'm saying, so now we're there. We'd be there. Yeah. So we're in a situation where you feel it's not a good situation. It's not safe. It's not safe. Psychologically or emotionally. You're in a situation where you feel it's not safe psychologically, emotionally, spiritually. People find themselves in such situations, right? There was a situation when you realized it, and now was the time for Buddha activity. And with my Buddha activity, I'm going to run.

[77:05]

Yeah. Don't fail me now. And that's going to be my Buddha activity because I am going to... Yes, it is. It is. It is. But do you realize it? As long as I realize it. But you won't realize it unless you're completely there before you start running. I see what you're, how you're using that, yeah. And you won't realize that when you're running, your reactivity's there, too. So at this point, you can't run away. There's some situations you can't run away. Like, uh, it knows. It can't run away from you. But you can be told, and wake up to Buddha activity with this illness you can't get away from. This is not a good situation. This disease is not good for you. I'm sick. This is a bad situation. But it's an equal opportunity for Buddha activity to what I want, my own health.

[78:09]

And I think this is a good situation. Regardless of what I think, all situations are equal opportunities including this is not a good situation, including I should get out of here. But before I do anything in response to I should get out of here, I'm already here, not going anywhere. I'm completely here. And I can wake up before I move. So then I wake up, and then I think, I might wake up and think, oh, I'm staying. I don't know what I'll do after I wake up. The point is waking up and being free in any situation, including this is not a healthy one, but this is a healthy one. And that's what the journey is for, is to be able to be with, this is not a healthy situation.

[79:13]

This is not a safe situation. This is not a good situation. This is a healthy situation. Whatever the thought or feeling is, is a good opportunity. And it doesn't preclude I'm getting out of here. Waking up, you could say I'm getting out of here. Not waking up, you could say I'm getting out of here. But waking up, you're not running away from anything. You're just saying I'm getting out of here. You're celebrating being here by saying, I'm going to get out of here. The other one, you're missing being here. Something you missed in your life. Okay? This is a very bad class. This is a class about buddhactics. Thank you.

[80:10]

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