With intimacy and my connection to other people and I have a problem understanding the difference between establishing intimacy and wanting that and being attached to those gains and losses. If you want something for example, if you want breakfast and you see getting breakfast as a gain and you're kind of concerned to gain breakfast, that's one situation. If you want to have breakfast but you don't see having breakfast as a gain, you just see it as having breakfast, that's another situation. If you wish to gain breakfast I would say you will suffer.

[01:09]

If you want breakfast and you want to gain breakfast and you don't get it, you'll suffer. If you want to gain it, you just want it, and you don't get it, you won't suffer. And if you do have breakfast, you won't suffer. If you want to be intimate with somebody and you think of it as a gain, and you feel that you're not intimate with them you may actually become frightened or distressed or you may try to get a hold of the person to do something to make yourself feel more intimate and you don't feel intimate and you want to feel intimate but you're not trying to gain intimacy you will realize intimacy.

[02:13]

But if you're with somebody that you want to be intimate with and you're not you can't tolerate that because you're trying to get it. If you try to get intimacy with somebody it will be more difficult for you to be patient with not having intimacy. It's hard to be patient about sometimes trying to get something other than that. So again, if you're not feeling intimate with someone and you're not generous with that lack of intimacy you feel if you're not generous with the lack of intimacy that lack of generosity will undermine the intimacy. which you want. So if you want intimacy, then trying to get it is antithetical to it. If you want intimacy, letting go of it promotes it. That's what I believe.

[03:23]

If I want to be intimate with somebody, if I want to, if I let go of it, that letting go of the wanting will promote intimacy. If you want to be not intimate with people, just try to get stuff from them. And the people, most people will, I shouldn't say most, but a lot of people will say to you, excuse me sir, would you please get away from me? You'll notice that people are putting up a lot of boundaries. Stay away. You say, what's the matter? You're trying to Don't try to get intimate with me. Get away. People do not want us to try to get intimacy with them, most people, unless they happen to be doing the same thing. And when two people like that get together, we really have a sick situation. But sometimes a healthy person who's not trying to get intimacy but wants it, and another person who wants it but not trying to get it, they both let go of trying to get it,

[04:30]

And they're intimate. And they're very happy. So, yeah. So, being generous with your wife. The wish to be intimate is a little bit of enlightenment. Because really we are intimate. So when you want to be intimate with people, I say, good. That's where it's at. We're in the same family. So we want to be intimate with our family. But to try to get intimate with your family is antithetical to family intimacy. It makes family strife when the members are trying to get intimate with each other. But if we're generous with each other, we will... But generosity means let go of, give away your wish to be intimate. Let go of it. And if you let go of the wish to be intimate, it will... Thrive. The wish will thrive and the intimacy will thrive.

[05:35]

That's my proposal. So I hope you always want to be intimate with more and more people. And I hope you're very generous with your wish so you receive intimacy. Don't try to get it. That will promote what you want. Thank you for your question. Yes, would you sit up here please? Sure. Thank you. I forgot to invite him. It isn't just you. You can use this microphone, people can hear you. You can sit or stand, whichever you like. My question for you is similar. but in relation to business. So when you talked about gains and losses and detaching from gains and losses, I felt very happy. And I do feel very happy in my life when I'm living moment to moment in the present.

[06:43]

But I'm also afraid that if I keep living that way, I will never, my business, which is just starting, will never grow. Because everything I read about business is you have to be thinking about the numbers and thinking about what will be gained. So I'm fearful that if I continue living in the present, I will never grow a business. Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that when you're fearful, you stop, you're not living in the present. You just shifted off of being not in the present. So if you're in the present, that you generally will not be fearful. And fear doesn't, some people are afraid and actually make lots of money, I think. I think they do. But some people who are not afraid also make a good living. I don't know, but I think probably the people who are not afraid, who are really living in the present, they probably make sort of an appropriate amount, like plenty.

[07:51]

Where some people who are afraid, they're so terrified, they make more than what's healthy. They're so afraid, they steal. So I think most of these people who we're now concerned about, these major multi-billionaire thefts, are from frightened people. The enlightening beings have great resources. If you practice... get great resources, but in order to give, those who practice giving will have great resources, which they don't hold on to. So it's a kind of a life bet. Are you going to bet on being generous or on being generous? Most people are not. Human beings, living beings, are naturally acquisitive and therefore they're naturally unhappy. If you practice in the present, and you practice in the present, and then you have some business which you like to do, which you think is wholesome, you'll be fine.

[09:01]

And I don't know how much resources you'll have, but you will come to receive great resources if you practice presence and generosity. And if you see what you're doing as a gift, and if you see that it as a gift to tell people that you would like them this enterprise by giving you something you can say to somebody would you please give me that you can request a gift as a gift so that this organization can go on this enterprise can be going on and people can feel it they appreciate that you're not trying to get from them but that you're trying to take care of your business which you would like to offer them your business, your activity, you'd like to offer this to them as a gift, and you'd like them to support you. You would. And not just them, but you'd like other people to support you too. Paying you, but helping you in other ways.

[10:04]

You want people to support you. And wanting people to support you is similar to wanting intimacy. But you're not trying to get them to support you. You just want them to, and you're being generous with your want and giving it away by telling them But not to get it, but to inform them of what you need. I feel a need for this and I request you give it. I request that you support me by giving me money or whatever it is. And you attempt to be present when you're doing that and see if you can do that without trying to get it. And if you learn how to do this, you will have great resources. You'll have great wealth, which you won't hold on to. But you may have it for a while. You know you're going to pass it on. You're just holding it for a while. And maybe you give it all away all of a sudden and then you get a whole bunch more suddenly.

[11:12]

I don't know how. The pattern varies. But even someone who just gave away a huge amount of money has great wealth. have anything give away all your money you have great wealth great prosperity you feel you know abundant joy as having given this huge gift and you're not afraid of when the next one's going to come to you because you just got one actually so that's the that's the body suffer ways the body's wealth which they give away and then people give them great wealth which they give away There was once a person in China named, he was called, he was a lay person, and they called him Maha Sattva Fu, which means great being. His last name was Fu. His family name was Fu. And he repeatedly gave his soul to his family. In China, you know, in the, you know, I guess, this is like the, I think maybe the 5th century or 6th century,

[12:13]

people actually sold people, you know, children, sell their wives, sell their servants. It wasn't, but it wasn't considered slavery. It's just, you know, but definitely possessions, people could be bought in China at that time. So he sold his family to people and then he took the money that he received, he received the money and now he checked with his family before he sold them. He said, may I sell you next Tuesday? And they said, fine. But usually before the purchaser came to pick them up, usually before, somebody else would give him money to buy them back. So then he would give them back and give the donation to the people who he bought them from. So my wife and children are not coming. Here's your money back. So he supposedly did that repeatedly. But in this tradition, you're supposed to check with your family before you sell them

[13:19]

If you give away your house, check with your family. Don't be unilateral about this. If you sell your temple, check with your community. But, yeah, bodhisattvas have great resources, and they give them away, and then they give more. And so, yeah, so people do not want your stuff because you want them to pay you. That's not why they want your stuff. They want your stuff because they think it's something they would be good in their life. That's why they want it. And they're willing probably to support you because you're giving them this good thing. And then you have to sort of look and see what would be a good way for them to support me. What would be an appropriate, you know, reciprocal response. Because I don't want to make them have a relationship with people.

[14:23]

I want somebody to use my... my gifts in their lives and bring happiness to them. But I also want it to be reciprocal. I want them to participate in that. So how can I offer them a chance to support me? Because if they don't, maybe they're not mature enough to do business with me. But I'm not trying to gain anything. I'm trying to realize a good relationship, which I think involves them giving to me as I'm giving to them. That's a good relationship. And stay in the present. If you're afraid, then you're leaning into the future probably. Okay. Anything else you wish? Yes, please come up. Yeah, one sleepy foot.

[15:25]

Very good. You did very well. Thank you. Crawling is handy. This is the last time I was here, sitting up in front of everybody. Did you say it's different? Yeah. How is it different? They didn't do it before. Oh, you didn't do it before? Yeah. Well, last time you sat down there? Well, welcome to the different experience. Thank you. And please hold the microphone a little higher. Okay, like that? Well, like here, like this. But then it's going to be too loud. Put it a little farther away. How's that? Fine. Is that good? How's that? You got it. The first time I came here about a year ago was the day of a bodhisattva initiation ceremony, which you led, and it was my first day of a practice retreat.

[16:31]

And I think about it a lot, and I guess my question is, how does somebody think about taking precepts when they're not sure they can do it? Well, I think that it would... Well, first of all, if you think about receiving precepts and you're not sure that you can follow through on them, the question I would think, what comes to my mind is, do you want to practice those precepts? So if somebody told me, I heard about these Bodhisattva priesthoods, but I don't know if I could actually follow through on them. I'd say, well, do you want to? And maybe the person would say, well, yes, I do. But I'm just not sure if I can follow through. And then we could talk about that. And I could point out that a lot of people wish to practice them, but don't know if they'd be able to follow through. And just like you.

[17:34]

And then I also might say, Everyone who receives these precepts, almost everyone, is not a Buddha when they receive them, but a living being who has some room to grow in understanding and compassion. So these precepts will sometimes not be able to follow through on a particular occasion. But we have practices to deal with when we slip. But the main thing is, the first thing is, here's the precept. Do you understand it? Yeah. Do you want to practice it? Did you have the aspiration to practice it? Is the reason you want to practice it? Because I think if I practice it, it will help me be intimate with people. Or it will help me to have good relationships. I think I would have beneficial relationships if I would practice this, train in this.

[18:35]

That's why I want to practice it. And I'm afraid that I'll slip up. So then there could be a discussion to see if you're afraid you'll slip up, yes. You're afraid you'll slip up, yes. Do you feel some fortitude, even though you're also a little bit afraid that you'll slip up? No. I would say if the person didn't feel much sense of, well, I might make mistakes, but I really want to learn this. I might make mistakes, but I really want to learn this. Like Spanish. I want to learn Spanish. I might make mistakes, but I really want to learn Spanish. Even though it's going to be difficult, even though I'm going to make mistakes, I do want to learn it. And I'm a little bit uncomfortable with all the mistakes I'm going to make. So I actually, if someone told me, you know, I really don't, I feel afraid to receive the precepts, I don't say, well, take them anyway. I would work with them until they feel like it's going to be really hard

[19:39]

encouragement, I feel some courage to try. I want to try. And I understand that it's not understood that I'm never going to slip. Now, you saw that ceremony. How many of those ceremonies have you seen? so part of the ceremony of receiving these precepts is before they're receiving the precepts the person confesses that they have this ancient history of actions which make it difficult to practice these precepts we don't say it quite this way but we say at the beginning of the ceremony we say I have a long history of karma activities which will make it difficult for me to practice these precepts I'm about to receive I confess that And then at the end of confessing that three times, we say to the person, from now on and even after realizing the Buddha body, will you continue this? And the person says, yes, I will.

[20:45]

And we ask them that three times. Why would they have to continue the practice of confession if they're going to never fail at these precepts? They wouldn't need to. So before we give the precepts, we give them a practice of dealing with when you don't practice the precepts. the practice of confession before they receive the precepts. If they're not up for confession, we say we'll come back later to receive the precepts. If you're not up for the practice to deal with when you don't do the practice, you're not ready for the practice. That would be the end of the ceremony for that person. until they can come back and say, okay, now I'm willing to practice confession of my shortcomings and practicing what I want to practice. I do want to do these, and if I don't, I want to practice confession that I didn't. So that's part of it. So the assumption is not, these precepts, I'm going to turn on these precepts and that's going to be it. It's not that way.

[21:45]

I want to do these precepts, And if I do them, I'm going to be happy. And if I don't, I'm going to be unhappy. And if I'm unhappy, that's repentance. And that will steer me back to what I really want to do. So there is an interview process before receiving them where the preceptor, the one who gives them, checks with the person to see where they're at. And if they're terrified of making a shortcoming, maybe wait a while until they calm down a little bit. if they're up for practicing confession and repentance when they slip and they really want to receive the precepts and they have the courage to do something that's really difficult but they still want to okay but you know we wouldn't give these precepts to a little to a child you have to be somewhat mature in order to be ready to and we need to check maturity level And sometimes you say, well, maybe let's wait a while before you... Kind of unsteady here, let's wait a little while.

[22:53]

And after... And also many times when people say... No, sometimes people say... Yeah, they say, I would like to receive the precepts, I want to receive the precepts, and what should I do? And I say, okay, well, if you want to receive the precepts, then when you're ready, request to receive the precepts. And then they often say, I want to receive the precepts. And I say, well, what are the precepts? You can request them. They say, well, I want to receive them. Well, when you're ready, you know. Eventually they realize what I'm saying is that you're not requesting them, you're just saying you want them. And so when they request, then they know that they might not receive them, so it's a danger. But maybe before even asking that, I could say, well, what's your reason for wanting to receive them? and some discussion there. Usually people I know pretty well before that happens, so I already know what their motivation is.

[23:57]

But even people who I know pretty well still may hesitate to request them. So it brings up a lot when we enter the initiation process. It brings up a lot of our fear if we make commitments and fear of what will happen if we make commitments and get attached in the process. we kind of know that there could be some trouble if we enter into this situation. Which is also part of the reason people hesitate to get married, because they know once you get married, you have problems that you didn't have before you got married. So maybe just stay away from the whole thing. Yes, please come.

[24:59]

Please. Okay, speaking of marriage, I have a confession. So thank you for your talk. I'm recently divorced. And I come here... And I feel loving kindness and calm and centered and all that great stuff. And I'm so grateful for the wisdom that you share. And then when I go back and I'm confronted by the struggles with my children's father, I lose all that wisdom. And I know that I don't want to carry all that anger, that it's not good. And it's not good for me. And I don't know how to not lose that centeredness.

[26:10]

And what you said about sort of family and, you know, even if somebody injures you, that you can still love them. I'm not sure how to get there. Sometimes anger flares up. Anger is very quick, just flares up. So then what do we do with anger? What's the first precept to do with anger? What do you do with it? Did you hear the talk today? So what's the first Bodhisattva precept? Remember the threefold precepts? Remember the first one? Be present. You know, like be a bodyguard for your family. Okay, here you are. Here comes anger. Whoop, okay. You're the bodyguard for the welfare of your family and actually the welfare of the nation. It's your job.

[27:11]

You're here to protect the welfare of beings, right? That's what you want to do, right? Okay, so what do you do when anger comes? Yeah, you observe it. You say, here's anger. Hello, anger. You've got a job to do here called, if you want to protect beings, you've got to be present with that anger. Be upright with it. And also, being present means also to be relaxed. It's not easy to be relaxed with anger. But can you imagine someone who's angry come running at you and you're relaxed when they come? It's hard. It's hard when somebody angry comes running at you. But is it possible? Is it possible? If children come running at you when they're angry, can you relax? No. You can't? How about somebody else's children? Yes.

[28:13]

And if your children have children, those children would be called your grandchildren. Right. And at that time, when your grandchildren come running at you angry, you'll be even better at not getting angry at them. Oh, you're my new darling. That's the way a great martial artist is. When so many aggressive persons come running towards them, they go, oh, darling. But you have to train to get to that place. You have to train at being present. There's a story about this. It's kind of a long story, but I'll just tell you. Prickly. This martial artist who I know, who I used to know because he died, he was a master. And he was on a trolley in Japan. And a big Japanese guy got on the trolley and was apparently drunk and kind of threatening the other passengers and wandering down the aisle.

[29:17]

He said, what are you looking at? Hey, I want a bookshelf. to the passengers. And this guy's sitting in the back of the train and he says, when he gets to me, something's going to happen. I'm going to show him a thing or two if he threatens me. So the guy is making his way back and the train stops and a little old man gets on. Hello, sweetheart, what's the matter? And the guy breaks down into tears. He had just lost his wife. and he got drunk, and he's frustrated, and he's afraid, and he's miserable, and he's angry, and somebody's not afraid of him. Somebody's like present and loving. So I know it's hard to be present and loving when somebody gives you an angry face. I know it's hard, but that's what's required. And when anger comes up in you, you need to learn.

[30:18]

You need, if you want to... To do good in this world, you need to be able to be there with your anger. It's hard, but to be there with it and be present. And then you can also notice, oh, this is not the way I want to be. And you can say, I'm sorry that I'm angry. This is not helping my family. This is not helping my former spouse. This is not helping me. If anger ever does help, well then you're present with that too. If it's a helpful anger, like if somebody's coming at you, you can also sometimes say, and allow it loudly, you can say, no. You can say, stop. And you can say that with no ill will. Just like I also, one time my daughter was going into the street, a busy street, and I yelled, she was too far for me to reach. And I yelled, no, and she stopped. That shell stopped her, just like a truck would have stopped her.

[31:24]

I had felt no ill will towards her. It was just a fierce energy to stop her from getting hurt. And you could even sometimes just say to your anger, stop that. Not ill will towards the anger. Anger is energy manifesting as emotion. It should be met with presence. It's hard because it's a frightening thing. It can do damage. But you have to just say, okay, hello, hello, hello, hello. And the anger may vibrate for a while, but that presence can vibrate with it. And the anger goes. It's not permanent. So that's what your family needs you to do when the anger flares up. And I don't know how much longer it flares. There's a practice. A practice of being present with it.

[32:26]

Of not leaning into liking the anger and not leaning into disliking the anger. Not leaning into getting rid of it. Not leaning into holding on to it. Just present. That's what's necessary to take care, you know, be most effective in doing good in this world. Yeah. That's the basis of then practicing loving-kindness. Then you can practice loving-kindness maybe, or whatever. Because you're now, you're present. You're present and you're not, you got rid of these impurities of gain and loss. Okay? Being naughty is easy. Being good is hard. This is good, it's hard. One little boy said to me, after the talk, he said, naughty is not a nice word.

[33:28]

It makes people unhappy. I said, well, I didn't say you were naughty, I said I was naughty. So if you say it about yourself, it's not so bad. But to call other people naughty, really good but i didn't call you naughty you're a good boy i'm the naughty boy i used to be a naughty boy now we don't know yes please come hello I got a little disturbed today hearing about how family was such a great thing, you know, that we were all a member of a family and the children hearing what, you know, their acknowledgement of their parents taking such good care of them.

[34:36]

And here in Mill Valley, probably a lot of people are taking really good care of their children, but... I have to confess that I have a history that involves families not being good to each other and the family, the subject of family being part of this and the million, million family of the Buddha, somehow on my particular path, I got tripped up in between there somewhere. So that... The idea of family, I was here a long time ago practicing and came to the Bodhisattva ceremonies on the full moon many, many times, but I never took the precepts.

[35:38]

And I actually wandered away and lost my way because I was afraid of taking a teacher. You were afraid of? I was afraid of the authority of a teacher, of taking a teacher, and the people here at that time. Mm-hmm. And so for me, that was the microcosm of my own family traumas. And I ran away from all of it. But today it got stirred up from hearing this. I see where I'm in such a different place now. and so much more mature to look at these things. And you're here. And you're very mature as a teacher. And I've never accepted I've come across a lot of teachers over the years in various practices, including Zen practice.

[36:51]

I never really accepted the authority of a teacher. In fact, I got in a big fight with Sasaki Roshif at Mount Baldy. I just wouldn't accept the authority of a teacher because it was too close to the whole idea of the abusive authority in family and where there's a lot of harm. And that's pervasive in our... So the word is mixed. I have very mixed feelings about that word family. But I've done a lot of healing work. And these things you were talking about today have been part of that healing work of forgiving both my parents and in a true way confronting and talking about the truth with them and being heard and understood and and being able to finally reach a place of honesty and love and acceptance.

[37:57]

And now with my children and my grandchildren, it's going the other generations down the same. Healing is going on. And so I feel very grateful for all this and for the time I had here at Zen Center. But in the process of refusing a teacher, In the process of refusing the authority of a teacher, I really hurt myself because I was having the experience in my practice of surrender that was turning into a beautiful fire. Fire was something instead of, for me, spiritual practice became the ultimate escape like a suicide. So I just wanted to, like Lou, go off into the forest or let myself burn up in this transformative energy.

[39:02]

And if I'd had a teacher, I might have handled that differently. And I see there's a humbling thing that's happening to me being in your presence today because I just admit and confess that I really needed a teacher but I couldn't accept it and uh and and so I stopped all my spiritual practice because I'd taken it to the extreme of wanting to burn up in that fire and um even asked my mother to let me go at one point um and um So I just feel like I'm belly down right this minute. What does belly down mean? Time you go to the altar. Oh, okay. Yeah.

[40:07]

Yeah. Well, congratulations. Your practice didn't stop. It kept going, and it looks like there are more challenges on the horizon. Yes, but I did stop sitting. Well... Maybe that was wisdom. Yeah, maybe it was wisdom. Yeah. The wisdom process is working in you. You're moving forward. And moving forward on your belly is a good way to go. Crawling and slithering, moving on the belly. It's a good way. Yeah, I think it's going well. Can I just tell one little anecdote? Absolutely. Before the talk, I accidentally spilled a cup of actually a big glass of dark tea.

[41:15]

My wife was working on a table with a glass over onto all the paper. And then the paper got all wet and we cleaned it all up. And then I found this piece of paper that had fallen on the floor and I picked it up and it said, to err is human. To forgive is divine. So your parents were humans and they made mistakes and they caused harm because they made mistakes. But somehow divinity arrived and forgiveness was possible. I decided at one point many years ago I was experiencing rebirthing and I went to the beach and I felt something nauseating to me about how I was passing it down to the next generations and I came home from the beach my daughter was vomiting and she didn't and it was such a huge sign for me that I sat down and made a commitment to myself that I was going to turn this

[42:30]

this harm around in my lifetime somehow. Yeah. The aspiration arose. Yeah. Yeah. So it's really that commitment that I made and then I basically forgot about it, but it's still working. Yeah. It never stops. And when it arose, many bodhisattvas witnessed it and said that you are their sister and they're going to support you to realize that. All this stuff around to turn evil into live. Evil is just live turned around, backwards. So that's your vow and the Buddha supporting you to turn abuse into generosity and other kinds of kindness. That's your vow and it's really hard.

[43:32]

So those teachers are helping you. You're welcome. Thank you. We all appreciate this. What time is it? Okay. Yes? Another person or two? I don't know who to choose. I don't know who to choose. This is a question about suffering. I have a friend. This really is a question about a friend.

[44:35]

I'm not making up a question that is really about me. who is very involved in politics and social justice and suffering in the world. And I admire what she does and how she works. And recently she had a heart incident, had to go to hospital. A few days ago I went to visit her, take her food, and we talked. And I was shocked and concerned that she told me she's so aware and concerned about suffering in the world that it makes her ill. And that she has been very concerned with the accident at Fukushima, what has happened to people in Japan. She's been there. And when she told me that she's so concerned that it makes her ill... It made me very concerned for her and her health.

[45:37]

And I guess my question to you is, how might I advise such a friend? I don't know that it's my role to advise her, but I feel so concerned about her. Well, this is a good example. These three precepts that I talked about today are precepts of enlightened concern. They're precepts of social justice. But they're enlightened precepts of social justice because the first one is that when you're trying to benefit a situation, you have to start into gaining anything from it. or losing anything. If you're trying to help some situation of injustice, lack of ethics. If you're trying to gain something, you're going to get sick. If you're trying to avoid losing something... So this is a person who obviously feels compassion for this world of suffering.

[46:47]

That's good. So the first thing that we have to learn if we want to be generous and do good things to help suffering people, the first precept is to watch out for gain and loss. Now, it doesn't mean that we're going to watch out for it. It means be careful of it. If you think that working for a more healthy environment is good, fine. If you think it's a gain, watch out. If you think the world will gain something by being a healthier place, rather than just, isn't healthy enough? We exaggerate it, we make it a gain. So, people who are working for the well-being, to start with purifying their wish to help by not leaning into gain and loss. or like or dislike.

[47:49]

Of course, she might like that certain things happen. That's okay. But if she gets involved in the like, she'll get sick. She might dislike that people are being harmed. That's reasonable. But to get into the dislike interrupts you from doing some good. So the likes and dislikes are not compassion. They're human judgments. Compassion is to love the situation, not like or dislike it. You love the likes, you don't like the likes. So what you can do is you can do the practice. Don't advise her unless she asks you to give her some advice. But just go be present with her and see if you can be with her without getting into gaining that she would be healthier. You want her to be healthy. I want her to be healthy. But if we think of her healthiness as a gain, then we'll get sick. Thinking in terms of gain and loss are called outflows.

[48:51]

They drain us. Our energy gets disturbed. We suffer when we live in a world that we see in terms of loss. Seeing things that way makes us sick. You can still want to help people when you're sick, but it's harder to help people when you're sick. As a matter of fact, when it's discussing bodhisattvic activity and it says, if a bodhisattva doesn't help people when they're sick, when the bodhisattva is sick and they help people who need help and they don't do it, there's no fault. If you're sick, sometimes you cannot help people. You can't, you know, you can't get over to answer the door. That's not a fault. So, health so we can help people. Like doctors, you know, and nurses who are serving in the line of people is endless. If they don't rest, they're going to die in a couple of days. But it's hard for them to stop and rest and take care of themselves.

[49:56]

Because they're thinking in terms of, look, if I could just finish the work. to stop then they can work the next day they can work years but if they keep working they're just going to die in a month and they do sometimes die because they overwork and they over overwork because they're trying to gain something rather than say I'm doing what I can which is not much But when we get into gain and loss, things get disturbed. And we get sick while we're trying to serve people. And then when we see the gain and loss stuff, we say, oh, we see how it works. We confess. So if you can be with her and you can love her, she'll pick up that message on some level. And she'll learn to do it vis-a-vis her concerns. And then she won't be sick while she's serving people. are serving the environment.

[50:58]

This is a hard balancing act, right? I think we're supposed to stop now, right? Yes. Thank you very much.

[51:12]

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