Do you have any expectations of what I might be talking about tonight? None. The topic for the retreat that's happening this weekend, and I guess into Monday, I have a thought that would be like embodying the wondrous dharma. Or is it embodying the Lotus Sutra? Wondrous dharma. Enacting. [...] Embodying the wondrous embodying the wondrous truth.

[01:03]

Another way of saying it is embodying the inconceivable truth. A truth which is inconceivable. but is nonetheless the truth. The truth that I'm concerned about is the truth about everything. The truth about each of us human beings, and it's also the truth about non-human beings. It's the truth about fungi. It's the truth about mountains and rivers. It's the truth of the universe. That is the truth which I am coming to discuss in action.

[02:21]

And part of what I propose to you, I would tell you the story or make the proposal that this truth of everything in the universe, which nothing I can say about will reach it, but still I'm going to say something about this truth. And what I'm going to say about it is that it is how we are related. The truth is how we're related. How we're related is the truth. The truth is how we're related and that we're related. And not only are we related, but we are related in a mutually supportive way.

[03:47]

We are actually supporting each other Human beings are supporting each other. Human beings are supporting all non-human beings. And all non-human beings are supporting human beings. This is the inconceivable truth. I mean, the inconceivable truth is like that. How that actually is, nothing I can say will actually reach that. And yet, me saying this to you, I propose to you, is coming from that reality. So this truth is an existential reality. It's how we exist. We exist in inconceivable mutual assistance. And again, I'm not saying that what I just said is true, or the truth.

[04:49]

But that is the truth I'm referring to. And the question is how to enact that. There is a scripture called the Lotus of the Wondrous Dharma. I will be discussing tomorrow and the next day and the next day, which is a scripture which is talking about how to actually grow something out of this, how to plant seeds in this truth and have this truth sprout into a beautiful flowering in the world. I would say this is how to make the Dharma manifested, embodied among all beings, together with all beings.

[06:05]

And I just thought I might mention, to start off, because I think many of us are concerned about this, for example, we have this war that the story is that the United States Army and Air Force are in a war now that they're fighting some other human beings on this planet particularly in Iraq so that's the story I've heard that there's this war going on And I also hear it looks to me like the United States, some people in the United States of America, think that actually it's a good idea for this country to rule, to rule, command,

[07:19]

to dominate, at least militarily, to dominate the world. It looks like some people think, some people have an imperial or imperious attitude towards the rest of the world. That they think that we should actually be telling the rest of the world what to do. And we should be commanding and dominating. So I've also said that this is a very powerful country. The United States is sometimes, I guess, called a superpower. But it seems to me that a superpower doesn't have to use the superpower to dominate. or to order or rule other powers.

[08:26]

It seems to me that that isn't necessary, but some people seem to think that the superpower should influence in the form of domination and be superior or Something like that. Rather than be a great power among all beings and use that power to help all other countries and in the direction of encouraging them to also help each other, this power could be used to teach the truth of our interdependence and our inconceivable self. mutual assistance. The power of this country could be used to enact the truth rather than enact the lie, the falseness, the falsehood that we don't need the rest of the world.

[09:33]

That they maybe need us, but we don't need them. We don't need to talk Maybe they should talk to us. Or maybe they don't need to talk to us. We'll just tell them what to do. And that's a lie. That version of reality, I would say, is a lie. It's not actually in accord with the way we actually are. So, you know, I'm a grandfather in various ways. And somebody could say, I'm a powerful grandfather. I have vital energy in my relationship with grandchildren. I mean a lot to them. I can do a lot for them. I can give them tremendous love and support. I can be patient with them.

[10:36]

I can also be impatient with them. But I do have a big influence on them. But they also have a tremendous influence on me, which I really enjoy. I need them. They need me. They do need me. Because I'm their grandfather, or one of their grandfathers. They need my devotion because that's reality. I am devoted to them. But they do not need me. to dominate them, even though I'm the grandfather and I'm powerful. They do not need me to dominate them. They do not need me to command them. And in fact, I don't do much of that. And if I ever try, it doesn't work. My power is undermined and wasted in pretty much any attempt command them and control them.

[11:42]

So I don't do that much commanding and controlling. I make requests and I make gifts. And I make requests which are gifts to the grandchildren. And I do the same thing with my Dharma children and my Dharma grandchildren. I have Dharma children, you know, offspring from me and I have Dharma grandchildren and I treat them the same way. I give them gifts. I am not these Dharma offspring, sometimes called students. I'm not in control of them. I do not command them. I do not dominate them. I do not dominate them. That's the truth. I do not. And I also In fact, I do not embody the lie that I dominate and control these Zen students.

[12:50]

I don't. Some of you might even say that you're a student of him in relationship to me. I think some of you might say that. Say, yeah, he is a teacher for me. And if you feel like I dominate you, command you, control you, I would say that's a lie. If you say that I think that I do, I would say, well, please help me see that because I think it's a lie. And if I fall into that lie, I want you to help me. I want you to point out that I'm acting in accordance with a lie. I'm acting like I think it. If I'm a teacher, I should control. I must admit, in my earlier days in the role of a teacher, I did try to control the students. When I was first in this position called teaching Zen, I thought, well, I should just teach them to practice like I do, because I practice.

[13:57]

I have good practice, so I'll just teach them how to do it like I do. With Zen students, I'll teach them to be like me. And they came to me and they said, what should I do? I said, do this, and they'd be fine. And they tried to be like me, but they couldn't. So they stopped. And they stopped doing what I was instructed to do. So then I changed my mind to help them be themselves, which they're very good at. Now I assist them in being who they are. And who they are is somebody who I am not in control of. who I do not dominate, and also who doesn't dominate me. Now, who they are might be someone who doesn't dominate me. So who they are is someone who lives in a lie sometimes. They live in a lie that they can control me. Students sometimes try to control me. But I don't try to control them when I'm trying to control me. Because I can't.

[14:57]

They want to try to control me. Whenever they're trying to control me, they're successful trying to control me. They're never successful controlling me. They never control me. I never control them. They can try. I used to try. I gave it up. They may be still trying. Also with their students. I let him try. My grandson tries to control me. I let him try. Sometimes he lives the lie of thinking he's successful, that he's got me under control. I let him live that lie. Control him out of it. I'm gracious with his attempt to control me. Now I do sometimes break down and say, you know, I'm not having fun. I play with you now for an hour and it's 40 to 0.

[16:04]

I want a break. I let it, you know, win, [...] win. And after a while I get tired. I'd like to play a different game. One where, you know, I have a chance of being on equal footing with you. We cannot control the United States of America. We cannot control it into giving up its tendency towards imperialism. We cannot control it. If we try to stop it from being imperial, if we try to help it be imperial, No matter what we do towards this imperialism, no matter what we do in this country, which is trying to have such a global control, the empire will fall.

[17:13]

This is part of the dharma. The empire will fall. It will fall. It will fall. And we cannot stop it from falling. It will fall. But what I want is before it falls, the empire will fall. I would like to get this wonderful, this beautiful country with all these beautiful treasures of humans and animals and plants and mountains and rivers. I would like to get this wonderful, powerful, vital nation to get ready to be a great thing in the world after the empire falls. Or after the empire is gently set to rest. It doesn't have to crash like a huge giant falling down.

[18:16]

The giant can go down and lie upon the earth and take care of all of its children. It doesn't have to crash. It will come down Doesn't have to crash. The Soviet Union, extremely powerful, did not crash. It went down fairly gently. When it lost, when it gave up, it gave up gently. Not all empires end in tremendous violence and chaos. I would like this country to get ready to start living the truth So that when the empire falls, it will fall, but there will be this lotus which grows as it's falling. We can start growing this lotus with the empire still struggling to exercise its demise.

[19:22]

And we can do that, each of us, by taking care of the truth. We live in the truth. We live in the truth. All the enlightened beings live in the truth. The enlightened beings have opened to it and exercised it and transmitted it. We are in the midst of the truth. That's where we live, that's where we dwell, that's where we move and live our life. And those who understand it are transmitting it to us. And we are receiving this transmission of the true Dharma. However, if we don't practice receiving it, we will not realize that we're receiving it. then we will not realize that we are living in it.

[20:27]

We will not realize that we are giving it and transmitting it. If we don't practice, we won't realize that we are receiving the truth, and giving the truth, and receiving the truth, and how we are doing that, unless we practice that. So that's what I'm talking about, enacting the truth. If we enact the truth, this enactment will grow up and become more and more alive and vivid and a viable, powerful, beneficial nation will grow up simultaneously with this healthy situation. We can't wait We can wait, but I'd rather have us not wait until everything falls apart to try to build a new nation.

[21:32]

So how do we practice? How do we enact? Well, one way to do it is with our physical body, our posture. We, for example, we can walk around it. Make every step you take walking around the truth. With our body we can make vocal utterances and every vocal utterance can be speaking the truth. And we can think about it. Step by step, we can think of the truth. And we can think of living the truth. And we can think that part of the truth is that if we don't practice it, we won't realize it.

[22:45]

And we can notice that when we don't use our body, speech and mind When we don't use it, we don't realize it. You can verify that. Notice that when you don't put your actions forward for the truth, you don't really feel like it's being realized. When you do put it forward, you can not right away, but you can. I don't know any stories of people who didn't devote their activity to the truth who realized the truth. Maybe there are. I don't know any. But I see, I hear about, I experience in myself and others that when we think or talk or walk, and that's not for the sake of the truth,

[23:51]

We feel more or less out of touch with it. And when we're out of touch with it, we're more or less miserable and more or less frightened and more or less at risk of being violent, disrespectful, cruel. Another word for this wondrous dharma is intimacy. Intimacy among all beings. So intimacy with all the people who are promoting, who willingly think it's a good idea, who have the will in their mind to make the United States a global,

[24:54]

dominator, a global military. Some people think that. We are intimate with all those people who think that's a good idea, who think, yeah, it's a good thing the United States could command the rest of the world. We are the best country, the strongest country, and we should dominate. Those people, we are intimate with them. They are supporting us. We are supporting them. How we do it is inconceivable. You can think of it, but that isn't how we do it. We can never, never, but we're not going to be able to know this for a while. Only a perfectly enlightened being knows that we support each other. So, it isn't that we do something to be intimate. It isn't that we do something to support each other.

[25:56]

That's already the case. What we do is that we are constantly active. All the time, every moment we're active and our activity is brought to us, is given to us by the whole universe. And so I am active, you are active, I am active, you are active. And that activity, I say, needs to be given. Needs to be given. Consciously, willingly, devotedly, wholeheartedly. And I would say also, it is given. But if you're giving yourself to every person you meet, you're missing out on the reality that you do give yourself to every person you meet. And I think many people who have not yet been able to understand fully that they give themselves to every person they meet, they can sense that they don't give themselves to everybody they meet.

[27:12]

You can be aware of that. You can be like, well, I don't really want to give myself entirely to this person. I actually do not want to. I don't want to be a servant of this person. That's what I think. I can see that I think that. And I think that, that thinking that is a lie. It's not really true that you don't want to give yourself completely to all beings. But it is true that you think that. That's true. You do think that. And by admitting that, as all Buddhas have done in their evolution to Buddhahood, they, at some point, did not want to give themselves They had the thought that they did not want to give themselves to one or more beings. One or more humans, one or more animals, one or more mountains.

[28:17]

Great enlightened beings had the thought that in the past they did not want to give themselves completely. But they also said, I got away for it. By confessing, repeatedly that I did not want to give myself to every single being in the universe. In other words, that I not wanted to accord with the reality that I do give myself to the whole universe. And therefore, not accord with the reality that the universe gives itself to me. By admitting that over and over, I have opened and I have gradually opened to the fact that I do give myself to all beings, and all beings do give themselves to me. The whole universe is based on me. I am based on the whole universe, and there's not the least bit of me in addition to the whole universe. The whole universe is me.

[29:19]

And it's who everybody is. And nobody is anything in addition to the universe. Most human beings think they are. So when you think that, When you think there's you in the universe, that's part of how to practice the truth. Practice the truth by admitting, I heard about it, but I actually am not ready to accord with it. So my way of according with it is to admit that I don't want to accord with it. I do not want to be continued with it. But I do want to learn to be intimate. I do want to learn that I'm intimate, but I have not yet learned it. And I admit that I haven't yet learned it. Because I've heard that by opening to this, I will open to how I am intimate.

[30:25]

I will open to the truth. the inconceivable truth of cooperating with all beings. Through such a realization, through each of us working on this, we can become a light in this world, on this planet, in this universe, for this country. We can become beacons of cooperative power. We are powerful people in a powerful country. powerful other beings, animal and inanimate. We are powerful and we want to give our power and acknowledge that our power is given to us. We want to realize cooperative power. Power which appreciates and respects our powers and wants to do everything together rather than

[31:27]

control other powers, other human beings, other planets. And as we move towards learning this, there will be many difficulties. They usually start off, but how can you do it in this situation? My grandson, when he was a little baby, he lived in Chinatown in San Francisco. I would go visit him. I would go down the hall to his apartment. He would open the door. He closed the door on me. Then his mother would force him to open the door and let me in. Because she wanted me to come in.

[32:31]

Because usually when I went in, I would wash the dishes. Thanks, Dad. And then after my grandson got used to the fact that I was in the house... He sometimes would kind of want to hang out with me and maybe go to a park nearby. So he went to this park just right a block away, right in the middle of Chinatown. And I don't know if you... Stamford Square, Chinatown is a little bit like China. It's like, you know, it's real crowded and the streets are, you know, packed most of the time, except late at night. So we're walking down the street and my grandson wants to go into the street. where there's cars and trucks. And of course, I don't want him to go in the street. I think he's going to get hurt. But I'm trying not to be imperial about it. I'm controlling him. I'm trying to cooperate. He's powerful, that's for sure. And I'm powerful too, and I'm powerful in a somewhat different way than he is.

[33:35]

You could think, well, I could probably just overpower him and keep him on the sidewalk. I didn't want to do it that way, I wanted to somehow work it out with him, together. If he ever said together with me, I always do whatever it is. If I say together with him, he doesn't necessarily go along with it. I was struggling with him, and struggling with him, and without just simply, you know, cruelly stopping him from going to the street. we together somehow managed for him not to go on the street. But it was kind of like, you know, you say, you want me to tell your mom? She's not into this. She's more into the period of poverty. When you're scared, you know, when you're a single parent, it's like, I can't stand cooperative poverty.

[34:38]

The United States is like a single parent. It's just overwhelmed trying to take care of its children. It's scared to death. It's scared. We're scared. This is dear center here. We're scared. We've got a government single power with all these kids. We can't be cooperative. We've got to like... I'm not a single parent. I'm not a single grandparent. I got a lot of people helping you be a grandfather. A lot of people who want me to tell good stories about being a grandfather. So I was trying not to dominate him. He didn't feel crushed in the interactions. He didn't feel overpowered by my great force. It was a struggle. We both did quite well. And he didn't go in the streets. But after it was over, in a long time, I should have gone into the street with him.

[35:44]

I didn't think of it at the time. I should have just taken his hand, said, do you want to go on the street? Okay, I'm going with him. He'd be going on the street. With me, he'd be virtually, I was going to say, in the street, as on the sidewalk. With me. And then he could feel, you know, he could experience how what a big, dangerous place that street was with these big trucks and stuff. He couldn't get it from the sidewalk, and I couldn't let him go by himself. But with me, he could say, oh, this is really, it's kind of exciting, too. Let's go in the street again. He might fit. And I think, yeah, we can do it again. You can learn this with me. I can learn this with you. And you'll learn from this kind of thing, he would learn that he's not big enough to go on the street by himself. So he would learn, if I go on the street, and my grandfather's around, I should take him with me.

[36:47]

We should go together. This is a scary thing. Dangerous. Not necessarily scary, but dangerous. He could get hurt, I could get hurt, the trucks could get hurt. The trucks could get hurt. Bearing away from your home. It's a dangerous situation. That's an example where I didn't quite get it. I didn't quite get into the rhythm of it. So, I welcome you to bring forth a situation where you don't yet believe. that you can be cooperative in situations where you think you have to be imperial and dominating and you just happen to be the one who knows what's right so you can give orders and people should just do what you say. So I welcome you on this and I also welcome your wholehearted intention to remember

[37:52]

the truth of your essential human nature. It's also the truth of the essential tree nature, the essential earth nature, the essential sky nature, the essential banana tree nature. Everything's essential nature is the same. And I welcome your commitment, your intention and commitment to think about this, to use your thinking, to never forget the truth, to always remember the truth, so you join the truth, cooperative life, energy, cooperative power, that you take care of that, that you nurture that, that you practice that, and that you thereby realize it. And I welcome again your feedback. I welcome you to struggle with me on that.

[38:59]

Struggle together with me. If anybody wants to come up and interact with me, play with me, come up here in the street, you're welcome to come and express yourself. So there's a lot of speaking of you and I. What's that all about? What's it about? So, if all this arises, what is there to do?

[40:22]

You are doing things. Anyway. All day long. So I'm just saying, give all the things you're doing to the truth. People do not think. that what I'm saying right now is a gift to all beings. You don't think that. It is. In fact, that does spontaneously arise because that's the kind of being you are. But if you don't think that, you think something else. And if you think something else, you become frightened, etc. Right. Well, it seems until thought settles into the fundament, though. That's right. That's right. So keep giving your thought to the fundament. And give your body to the fundament. That's how you practice it. The body and all of that arises from the fundament. That's right.

[41:25]

That's right. But if you don't practice that, If there's a sense, like we sometimes do, this function is complete and all-pervading. But if there's a slightest gap, a slightest difference, it's as though there's tremendous distance. So if there is any... or if there is in your mind the slightest sense of being separate from other beings or from the fundament, it seems like you really are separate. But that's just a thought. Yes, but it hurts, and it makes you frightened. Those are other thoughts. Those are other thoughts, but that thought is enough to make you frightened.

[42:26]

Maybe you, I mean, Maybe that's where fear comes from. It's from that sense of separation between you and other people. I'm not saying for sure at the moment you're afraid. People, if you just scratch them a little bit, you find out they're afraid. But they're afraid because they think that the things scratching them will suffer from them. Right. Well, it seems easier to just dissolve the you, though. Say again? Since there's the fundamental and then this you concept on top of that, if the you goes, then all the rest of it has to go, too. There's nothing to support it. But there can be a you. It doesn't have to go. It doesn't have to go away. It can just be a realization that the you and the fundamental are about, too. Right. At which point the you dissolves is the fundamental. at which point the U dissolves because the fundament is containing all of it. It's like saying there's a bug in the fundament. What's the point?

[43:28]

What's the point of what? Of saying there's still a U when there's a fundament. I don't want to say that. I'm not so much saying that there's still a U. I'm just saying you don't have to get rid of a U to realize that. Oh, fully granted. I want to get rid of it. But you do have to give the you to the fundament, otherwise there's a withholding. Right, but again you're saying you give the you to the fundament. I actually didn't say you give it. The you has to be given. By the fundament. No, you said by. Granted. The you is given by the fundament to the fundament. Yes. That's the usual situation. And if there's some thought that gives rise to misery. Since misery arises in thought. That particular type of thought.

[44:29]

But other kinds of thought are not miserable. Thoughts of how we're connected, although they don't reach how we're connected, are not miserable. No, I think they go to the same place. Because there's a separation there. You can think that without believing the separation. My sense is the action as a fundamental arises before thought. I don't know. I just have to express it somehow. But I'm saying it's not actually before or after. And are we practicing now? Pardon? I'm asking if I, while I'm talking to you and giving my and feeling like I'm receiving a conversation from you.

[45:46]

And I practice it. You don't have to decide that. I say I am. And I ask if we were, so I'm asking you if you are. And for me, all this just arises from the fundamental. Yeah. What's your answer? My answer is for me, all this just arises from the fundamental. Are you practicing giving? For me? What did you say? Yeah. And I would like, I hope someday you'll be able to see that you're practicing giving. You and me. Right. And my sense is there is giving in practice. Yes. Okay. Are you enjoying it? Yes, I get to enjoy it. I want that for us. And I appreciate your gifts to me and all of us.

[46:57]

I appreciate yours. Thank you. Do you feel complete? There's no need to feel complete. Any other offers? Yes. Yeah. I feel disconnected sometimes. How do you feel now? Pretty connected. I usually feel pretty frightened when I'm disconnected.

[48:14]

You feel frightened when you feel disconnected? Yeah. I think that's... That is, I think, our human condition. When we feel or think we're separate, we're disconnected. We feel frightened. And then the thought of being interconnected seems like just a thought. Yeah. The thought is just a thought. However, it's a thought which has a logical connection to what is being taught in the tradition as reality. And the thought that we're disconnected, it's just a thought that we're disconnected. There's no basis in reality to the thought that we're disconnected. There's no reality at all to being disconnected. And the practices that promote this connection are a certain type of practices called being frightened and dominating other people and trying to control things.

[49:19]

And the practice is to realize connection. The practice is to remember that other beings are related to us and to be generous with them and realize and think about and talk about how they're being generous to us. Those practices open us to this The basis of the thought is not disconnection, it is delusion. There is some reason why we have this delusion, but the reason is not because we are disconnected. The idea of being disconnected is because we are connected. led us to think of being disconnected. And our connection has led us to think that we're connected. So connectedness has led to both these thoughts. One, however, goes with being afraid. The other one . One puts us at risk of violence.

[50:23]

The other puts us at risk of compassion. So you seem to be aware of this feeling On one side, when you feel disconnected, you're fighting. It's just a thought. However, if you practice in accord with the thought of being connected, then you will practice giving. You would be gracious to yourself, feeling that way, thinking that way, feeling that way and thinking that way. You would be gracious to yourself. You would be gracious to other people who thought that way. And you would be gracious to people who do not think that way. You would be gracious to people who felt disconnected and frightened. You would be gracious to them if you wanted to realize the truth of the thought. So that's what I'm saying. If you practice it, if you practice being connected,

[51:26]

Practicing as if you realize you're connected? Kind of goes as if you realize it. But one way to practice it is as if you realize it would be that if you weren't connected, you would treat yourself like an enlightened person would treat yourself. So while you feel disconnected, you still treat yourself as though you understood that that was just an illusion. It's like if you see a child who loves you. You know they love you. They don't. They're afraid of you. They feel separate from you. But you can be gracious to them. So if I myself feel disconnected, I can treat myself. If I understood that I was connected, I would be gracious to myself and not try to control myself out of my lack of understanding.

[52:29]

Where does this grace come from? It's your nature. Your nature is you're a gracious person. That's our essential nature. That we graciously give ourselves to the universe and a part of our graciousness is also that we're born graciousness. I work with kids sometimes and I like what you're talking about because in terms of trying to not be an imperial power. I've yet to feel connected after working with kids because I do feel like it's a really good example of I don't really know how to not be with kids and probably with people in general. But you do know how to be an imperial power with kids. I know how to be an imperial power. You do know how to try to control them and dominate them.

[53:32]

Yeah. You do know how to do that. Right. And that way of being, you will see that world collapse. Yeah, and you feel... You will see it collapse. In a lifetime, you will see it collapse. A day will come when the imperial power will not be functional. And hopefully, before that comes, you'll develop this other power, cooperative power with the kids. And when the empire dies away, there'll be this new nation, new relationship of cooperation with the kids. So as long as you're scared, you know, maybe you keep using the imperial power when you're afraid of getting fired if the kids aren't under your control. Get your kids under control! Control your dog! And so you're scared. And you don't feel connected to the people who are telling you to fire you if you don't get the kids under control. So you go along with the impaired thing.

[54:33]

So you can spot that. You can confess that. I confess that I'm caught in the pattern. I'm trying to do that. But I'm looking for someone to be cooperative. And you keep looking for that, and then suddenly you see it. You see sometimes, oh, rather than stopping them doing it, I could join them. I could join them. Rather than stopping them doing it. And when I join them, it's different than them doing the dangerous or unwholesome thing. Because when I join them, it's not unwholesome in the same way anymore. Would you really step into the street in front of the trucks? Would I? Yeah. Definitely. I just didn't think of it. I would just think narrow-mindedly, like, if he goes in the street, he'll get hurt. I don't want that. It's kind of true. He probably would have got hurt. He might not have. Maybe the truck would have stopped. I don't know. I didn't want to take a chance of him going in the street and getting hurt.

[55:35]

So I tried to think, yeah, he might go into the street. I can go, I certainly go in the street. I do, I have gone in the street at that time. Usually we had to go in the street to get to the park where we were going. Of course, we usually cross with the light at the crosswalk. Right? But it's still dangerous. It's still dangerous. So crossing in the middle of the street without the crosswalk and the lights, you could say it's more dangerous. But it's I think if we're more careful, we can do it. And now I ride with him on a bicycle with him. Now we're out there on the street together and stuff like that. That's also dangerous. God, he's going to run into the car. How do I cooperate with him? We could stay in the closet and never do anything.

[56:36]

It's not going to work. I'm doing the dangerous thing with him rather than trying to stop him from doing the dangerous thing. I want him to learn how to negotiate the dangerous world rather than keep him from the dangerous world. I'm not pushing him into the dangerous world. I go with him if he wants to go. Basically, that's why I do that. Like, you know, another story I tell about him is when he was even, when he was a little bit older than that time in the street, he had a little kid's gardening set, gardening tools. And he said, like, it was wintertime in California, after dinner, dark, like November, December, he said, let's go down into the garden and dig in the dirt. And I thought, it seems kind of, I didn't think it was too dangerous, but it seemed scary. to like a three-year-old boy to go on a cold, dark night into the garden and so on.

[57:39]

I thought, wow, this is quite an adventure. I said, okay, so we went. I go with him into this kind of scary trick, dangerous thing, dark, you know, enemies. He's got the country. And as we got closer to the garden, suddenly he said, what's that noise? And I said, I think it's frogs. And he said, you mean like rivet, rivet? And I said, yeah. He said, okay. So we walked some more, and the frog noise got louder. And we were walking to a place named Rozzy. He got closer and closer to the palm of his hand. He said, I think Rozzy is getting scared. Let's go home. He also wants to go out in the woods sometimes.

[58:41]

He goes in and wants to go back out. I don't have to control him. I just have to be with him. I just have to control this world. I have to be with it, though. I can't control it. But what I can miss is wholehearted participation with it. I'm here with you, world. We're doing this together. I'm giving myself to you. You're giving myself to me. We are enacting the Dharma, the truth, together. And there's dangers. And I have a habit of keeping people away from danger. Me and others. If I'm the adult teacher or whatever, I'm trying to control the kids away from, dominate the kids away from harm. Rather than together with them, cooperatively negotiate the danger. Together. They help me negotiate the danger rather than resist me dominating them into safety.

[59:46]

So anyway, you already know how to try to dominate them away from harm. Now, before you try to, before that habit dies, learn the new one. Which is that together, walking a path of peace and safety. Because the path of dominating people into safety, making America a place that's completely safe, is imperialism. It's not a safe place. It's not a safe world. There are dangers. To teach people how to deal with it together, we can do that peacefully. And that's grace. That's the graciousness. That's a way to be gracious with the situation. Grace in the situation. There's already grace in this world. It's a gracious world. This world we have is a gracious world. But if we don't practice graciousness, we don't realize it.

[60:52]

Being with children is a gracious situation. We are a gift to the situation of children. The children are a gift to the situation of us together. But if we're not gracious with it and we try to dominate it, we'll miss the giving. We'll miss the cooperative vitality of our life. We'll miss it, more or less. And the attempt to dominate it will collapse eventually. But it would be nice if something else grew up before that. We're all going to be flat out of it pretty soon. But before that happens, we may grow this new thing, the realization of courtesy. And we lose all of our dominating power, which we will lose. There comes a time when you can't dominate anybody anymore. But you can still be generous when you're not dominating.

[61:59]

And when you're dominating, you miss how generous other people are to you, which is a great tragedy. All these children have been gracious to you, testing you the way they do, wanting to go in all these questionable directions. Questioning them is okay. Where are you going? Please tell me when you go someplace. I want to know. I care. If you don't tell me, I'll worry. Please tell me. And to tell them that as an act of cooperation rather than another act of cooperation. Does this make sense? Oh, yeah. Good. Yeah, this is great. Thank you. I really appreciate it. You're welcome. Please take care of it. Oh, yeah. Yes, please. Did you have any expectation of when this would end?

[63:16]

I have a situation in which I'm having a hard time figuring out how to cooperate. She has a situation where it's hard to see how to cooperate. I have a mother-in-law who is pretty demented, but not, you know, not demented enough to, I mean, she can have conversations and she can think for a short while. So we recently... All her children made a decision to put her in an assisted living community. Can you hear her? Yes. There was a decision of her children to put her in an assisted living situation. So she claims that we did this behind her back. That we didn't consult her. So she definitely feels dominated. We talked with her about it for months.

[64:24]

So I feel the vitality draining from me because I feel really badly for her. But I don't know any other way to do this. I sort of found myself saying, well, we're the parents and we have to make these decisions for you. Yeah, we're the parents, we make the decisions for you. We make decisions which affect your life and we don't consult you. You're saying that that would be a good thing you said? No. Well, you can say it. You can say, I confess that I have thought that I'm making a decision which affects your life and I did not consult you. I did not talk to you about it. And I'm sorry I did that because that's not the way I want to live. I did not talk to you about it, but you don't remember it. And now here we are again.

[65:25]

Now you do understand me. And so now I'm consulting with you again. Hold on. I did talk to you about it in the class. And if you don't agree with what I hear you saying, you don't remember what I said. But again, we do have the ability to realize that we do not really feel somehow that we're being generous with the person. If we feel like we're being, if we really truly feel we're being generous, we realize that they're being generous with us and they tell us that we're dominating them. and that we don't care about them, that we're doing sneaky things behind their back, that we're terrible children. If we really feel generous towards them, we really feel like they're being generous with us. We can see it. If we don't, then we sort of say, you know, my understanding is not complete. Somehow there's something... I was being generous, but I don't think she's being generous. I see she's being generous, but I don't see that I am.

[66:27]

Or I see neither one of us have been generous. That's the usual situation. We're both trying to control each other, rather than we're both cooperating in what happens together. So sometimes I really appreciate the challenge. So that feels like being generous. Appreciating challenges. is part of being generous, yes. To realize challenges are gifts. I don't think she feels that way. I don't think she appreciates the situation that she's in. You don't think she appreciates some challenges or all challenges? I don't know. I don't think she appreciates... It does seem like some people do not appreciate challenges. The gift that some people are to us is a gift of someone who does not appreciate being challenged. It's still a gift. And people who don't appreciate challenges are often quite challenging.

[67:34]

Yeah, what's challenging in seeing how much she's suffering? It's challenging to see her suffering. And I'm saying to you, the outrageous, inconceivable truth is that this suffering, which is very difficult to meet and love, maybe not difficult to love, but it hurts. It is a gift. The pain you feel when you see her pain is a gift to you and me and her. It is a gift. If you can see that, you will be happy and your happiness will grow in the pain. is the happiness of the truth that grows in the pain that you feel with the people you love. That's the flowering of the truth. And whether or not she's happy won't have an effect on that flowering of the truth.

[68:37]

It does have an effect. Her unhappiness, because you're generous towards her, her unhappiness hurts you. But you hurt you because you love her. Her suffering is part of the reason this flower is growing. And also, this flower is growing for her. For her too, not just for you. That's really hard to see. Maybe hard to see, but this flower means that when she's suffering because she does not see what's happening to her as a gift, and you're gracious with that suffering, she sees your graciousness. On some level, she sees that you're actually letting her not appreciate what you're doing. You're really letting her be that way. You're appreciating her the way she is, including that you want her to be happier, and also that you feel pain.

[69:40]

You're being gracious towards your pain and her pain. You've been gracious towards her. Lack of appreciation of you, you're appreciating her. She's seeing that. She's learning that. She's seeing the flower grow. Sometimes I think that. This truth is irresistible. We're all going to go along with it. I'm just doing my part right now. This is where we're headed. We're headed towards the realization of this truth. We're being forced in this direction. It doesn't mean we just don't say anything. No. The truth is someday that some of us talk about it and think about it and line up with it. I have tremendous luxury right now of being retired and not having...

[71:06]

She has a tremendous luxury of being retired and not having to work within an institutional structure. And so I'm finding, through being around the Sangha, that when I interact with the corporate, which seems very often, I'll be on the phone if you don't get circled around the phone loop and you find a person. The first person will usually say, well, that's our role. We can't do that. And lately, rather than getting angry, I've been able to say thank you for being kind to me and is there somebody I can talk with you, talk to who might be able to explain the role. So they'll give me the supervisor. And oftentimes we have the same discussion. And again, I'm really trying to be kind enough to say thank you for trying to help me, but I'm still not understanding why the rules, and the rule keeps being the corporation.

[72:13]

It's not a single person. So you move up, and I find at the very end, I'm still able to be gracious to the last person, but I get off the phone, and I want vengeance. I want that corporation to come down because it's, It's a rule that's meant to do what's right but not what's good. And I don't like being that vengeful because I work very hard at being gracious and respectful as I move up with different people. But nobody takes this. The corporation doesn't have any responsibility. And I don't know how to work with that. And as I said, ultimately, it makes me feel vengeful. Like, I'm going to get this corporation. I'm going to take them down in some way. Yeah, so the it of the corporation may be understood as a different it from the truth.

[73:18]

And the it may be the it of... corporate power rather than the it of cooperative power. The corporation may not see itself as cooperating, for example, with something else in the world. So there are such lies in the world as an understanding of the corporation which is not in accord with the truth. And those things come into our life and then you're trying to be gracious with this and try to be gracious with it. And what I'm proposing is if you really can be gracious with it every step of the way, you will actually not hate the lie. You will not hate the lie. You will not hate it. But if you do miss a few steps, you start to lose your footing.

[74:20]

And then you're basically not feeling actually that this lie is a gift to your realization of the truth. No, at that point I want to control the lie. I want to change the lie. So then you say, okay, I lost it. I'm off balance. I'm not in the path of peace. I'm on the path of vengeance. Basically, I'm in control back. If they don't control me, I'll try to control them back. That's what I'm doing. However, admitting that, I can do some graciousness in me admitting it. And I'm admitting it. And the way I would do it is I admit it, not by myself, but I admit it in the presence of the truth, in the presence of those who understand the truth. I welcome them into my confession that I'm actually thinking of breaking the truth right now. going for the falseness because they're hurting me with the falseness and I can't recognize a person to work with it's a them you are working with those people those I well but the corporation is not a person yeah but you're working with those people yes each one of those people that feels good and it does feel good and that's and that's

[75:46]

You work with who's in your face. You work with who you've got right now. That's who you're practicing with. You don't practice it with who you don't practice with, who you can't see. Thank you. Yes, just come up. If I understand you correctly, There is no place for coercive power. Is that true? I think there is a place for coercive power.

[76:48]

And I think we have seen it. The United States of America seems to be a coercive power to some extent. And there is a place for it. And I'm just saying it's a corrosive, harmful manifestation. of our powers being used corrosively or coercively when it could be used cooperatively and generously. There is a place for it, and it's not going to work. It's going to come to an end, cause a lot of damage before it comes to an end, and then, hopefully, along with that, we'll be developing some of our power going towards cooperation so that this new thing, this cooperative thing, does not have to end. Cooperation is always the case. That lives forever. That resonates for me. At the same time, I do have this sense of there being times when coercive power comes into action.

[77:53]

And I have this image that someone shared with me. For example, the Dalai Lama with his bodyguard. Someone said he's driving along in his limousine, meditating. and he's surrounded by his bodyguards that are looking around him. I guess I'm wondering, is there a place, for example, we have policemen that protect us. I'm not personally, but there are these people out there that are prepared to take coercive power. And I guess that's my question that I kind of struggle with, is... you know, can we really get beyond their name, some power. So now, the Dalai Lama's bodyguards are kind of like me, the grandfather. You know, there's a certain kind of power around him. There's a certain kind of physical strength around him.

[78:55]

And we don't know what they would do. He was in danger. I don't know what they would do. But they wouldn't necessarily be coercive towards the attack on him. They might beat the attack in some very creative way. I don't know. But considering who they're working for, they might have a way of receiving the dangers, the threats to him. in a way that would be beneficial to all concerned. Not necessarily, their job might not be to coerce those people. So again, there's a way of dealing with force which can use it in such a way that it's not really that you're coercing it, but that you're dancing with it in such a way as to realize non-harm. In some ways, that requires more skill than just symmetrically opposing it.

[79:57]

In other words, when you cooperate with them, and when the person feels the cooperation, they're transformed by the cooperation to some extent. They may not be transformed to the point of realizing what has happened, but they are transformed. Just like they're transformed by direct opposition, they're also transformed by surrender. Something surprising. I guess what I want to do is, although, again, division resonates for me, I still, I have this kind of sense that coercive power acts in some ways to protect me and people. But what I'm, you apparently really do not feel like there is any kind of healthy place for coercive power. And that's, I guess, really all I want to be clear on is that for you, there's no place for coercive power. There is a place for it.

[80:59]

It's a healthy place. I would say coercive power is unhealthy. Even if it seems to protect somebody in the short run, I would say it's unhealthy. And I'll stop with this. To give a graphic example, if your grandson... someone was threatening him immediately with a gun, for example. Are you going to start... Do you have the capacity to restrain the person? You could say that. I might have the capacity to restrain the person, but I also might have the capacity to receive the bullet. I might say, And that's my question. Is that what you do? I don't know if I... Your guns are here. The gun was here, and you're here. I might say, could I buy that prayer ball? Could I buy it? Okay. Thank you.

[81:59]

You're consistent with... Would it take a chance? I'm not saying I would. Just like with my grandson, I was trying to control him, actually. But in a kind, gentle way. I was trying to keep him out of the street. I really was trying... I wasn't really coercive to the extent that he cried or something. And I wasn't using my physical force. I was more using fast footwork. But he was okay with it, sort of. But what I really should have done was to go into the street with him. You can also try to distract or deflect people. How about some ice cream? That's not a good point, too, necessarily. Because his mother doesn't want me to control him by sugar. But I think there's a way of not protecting him by he and I finding the place

[83:05]

the river of peace in the world. There's a flowing river where it's safe and harmless and peaceful. It's here. And we find it together. I don't tell you this is the safe way, this is the peaceful way. We find it together. A flowing space where there's no hindrance. And we can find it. Some martial artists, when somebody comes to attack them, they take the person's energy and they move it around and set the person down. And the person realizes, oh, I see... this person is plugged into the place where I can't hurt them. And they also don't let me hurt anybody else. But they're in this flow of energy that doesn't hurt me or them. And I'm kind of like, I want to learn that. And somebody sees it and says, yeah, I had a place where I could use my force against them. You found a real vital place. I want to learn that. I'll be listening very closely. I want to be convinced.

[84:08]

I still have the sense. Practice it. Practice it and you'll find it's like I do. It's very hard to practice. Actually, I do. I do. And when I practice it, I realize this is no good. This is not the best way. And when I practice it and I'm in accord with it, I say, this is the way. This is the way it works. In accord with the truth. This is like you and me together is where it's at. But sometimes I get into need convincing you that's not what I mean so you say you want to be convinced I'm saying practice it with me that'll convince you my reservation is and I'll say this again I'm not convinced yet that sometimes coercive action is not the best choice but I'm open to

[85:12]

It may be the best one you can see. You know, sometimes you can't see a better one. This person's in danger, so I'm going to coerce this person into not hurting him. It's the best I can see at the moment. You can't see a way to cooperatively protect this person you care for. You can't see it. So at that time, that way, what's the best thing you can do? But wouldn't it be better to find another way? Sometimes the Buddha could see it, sometimes the Buddha couldn't. In the stories of armies coming to attack the Buddha's people, he went out in front of them, he coerced them by just sitting there in front of them. That was enough. Just the Buddha in their path stopped the army. He kind of coerced them and they're going back. You know, just by being quiet. And he did it a second time and he coerced them again, you could say. But really, he didn't see it that way. He saw they came, he went to meet them, and they did this thing together, and then going back.

[86:15]

Then they came again. The third time they came, he saw people say, go stop them. He said, this time they won't. They won't be stopping. So he did come in and attack his people. I don't know what they thought was going on. But even the Buddha sometimes protects people from being hurt. And in that case, obviously, the Buddha is cooperating with them. It's unfortunate. It's terrible. But still, the truth is there. When bad things, harmful things happen in the world, the Buddhas are cooperating. They've been generous and gracious with people who do not understand graciousness. And people who do not understand graciousness are more or less harmful. And gracious ones should teach them and make graciousness look really, really attractive.

[87:21]

Really, really beneficial. And they will gradually join the path of peace and cooperation. by people just continually offering more examples of how good it is. And then, of course, the situations that are challenging are most difficult, but that's where people really need to be convinced and are really impressed when you can practice graciousness in those situations. Thank you for the question. Me too?

[88:21]

You can join me in the song because you won't know it. I see trees of green, red and blue. They're blooming for me. and for you, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world. I see skies of blue, clouds of white, bright sacred days, gardens of blessed night, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world. The colors of the rainbow so pretty are also on the faces of the people walking by.

[89:26]

I see friends shaking hands saying, how do you do? They're really saying, I love you. Brian, I'll teach them to grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world. Yeah. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world. Yeah. May our intention be...

[90:12]

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