Following through with the Dung Shoveling

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so this is called this text in is in japanese is cut taxes in chinese
it is the chinese taxed at a chinese poem
it the japanese pronunciation of it is zazen shin
which means the neat acupuncture needle the needle hub zazen
sometimes translated as the point of zazen point the point of safe sitting meditation
zazen you
the essential functions
the such an accident several jars the around and made him his as made it without interacting
without a in his presence is incredibly intimidated from the game creation is as behavior by his presence inherently scissors etc
hey file is his courage and integrity
as a young bride a a sixty ever outstanding early
the a so
i'm sorry recreation was riding high verification a staggering without february
through a mirror and shows like a fish sky as frustrating days either
i like a bird

if i may really
laid back to this morning a little
lois brought up that there seems to be some unhappy families in this world
and again i would just suggest you one interpretation of how the appearance of unhappy families fits into this
into this
have that
last child
is that yeah the the the situation of
being in a family that has suffering
could the on
could be seen in various phases of of the narrative

it could be seen as as the members of the family are wandering
away from their fundamental
life and in his wandering they are suffering
but it could also be seen as the the phase how in the story where one is
been offered an opportunity to do some work
and it has taken on the work
so someone families some on friend some unhappy families are are doing the work of shoveling the dung of their unhappiness and some are not
but even the ones who are shoveling the done are still working with the
with this with this the heaviness of our lack of understanding of our fundamental life
and then the later phases of the training which are characterized as in the house of the buddha's
understanding more and more how this all works
that can also still be working with any unhappiness that there is in our families
or in our family
the family of all beings
so the basic messages were all on this path together
we're all helping each other
well help we're all helping all others and we're all being helped by all others that's our fundamental reality and were on the path of realizing that which is called buddhahood
and realizing that is complete liberation from the suffering of not realizing that
but it is the case that all living beings have that fundamental reality and all living beings wander away from it in order to realize it
and the wandering away as various forms of unhappiness and the returning his various kinds of practices
i'm open to questions but before i take questions i want wanna tell you that a number of people brought up today tourist and they meant i think the sometimes mad trusting others
but they could also be trusting themselves
an i spy asked some people actually some number of people brought up betrayal
and harm
so as to what kind of trust you talking about they said we're trusted people will not betray me
harm me
and and i asked
hoping not to be too harmful i asked to fill these people would like some feedback on that and they said yes so i tried to gently mentioned that i do not have that kind of trust what kind of trust
yeah i don't trust it others won't hurt me i don't trust that i don't trust it as won't betray me i don't trust that
i don't
and before i didn't trust it
i felt sometimes of people were hurting me harming me and i felt people were betraying me and lying to me before i noticed that i didn't believe in that
after i'd willingly gave up such a trust
an open to the possibility that some people would betray me and lie to me and harm me
i've been feeling much better
so i don't prohibit anybody from trusting that people will not betray them i don't prohibit that i don't even discourage it namibia
but i encourage giving up that trust
and getting ready for that thing you trusted people weren't gonna do
and getting ready that you might do it to yourself that you might hurt yourself and betray yourself i think
i very often hear from people that they really don't want to betray themselves
and that they feel various temptations to betray themselves i hear from people that they want to really be authentic and hurting themselves and not betray themselves but they do sometimes think they do betray themselves
they don't so often say to me i want to trust that i won't betray myself because they kind of know that they do
and maybe if others didn't that would be good but anyway the appearance of betrayal of myself to myself
and the feeling at the others would be trying to meet that can arise in my life and i want to be ready for that and he said but so frightening how can you not be afraid of it and the way i trained myself to not be afraid of being harmed or being bitter
trade is by being compassionate to myself when i feel harmed and betrayed

and by learning to be compassionate to myself when i feel harmed and betrayed
or afflicted intentionally or unintentionally
i become
less and less afraid that it will happen
and more and more open to it happening not wanting it to happen
but open to it because if i don't i believe i took would i trust i trust being open to harm and betrayal i trust the opening to it not the asking for it opening to it i trust being on i try
just being kind to it and be kind to how i feel when it arrives i trust that
and i trust that narrowly as first aid
to the sense of betrayal or harm but also as an opening to what will liberate or beings if i don't open to be trail
if i don't open to harm
if i close to harm if i close to be trail if i close to vulnerability i also close the door to wisdom
i don't want to close the door to wisdom i want to open the door to wisdom i don't want to close the door to reality
i don't want to close the door to how i am supported by the entire universe and how i support the entire universe i don't want to close the door on that because that is suffering i believe in that that's what i trust i trust reality
i trust the dharma
and i trust opening to the dharma but the price of opening into dharma is too
open to everything
that's what i trust
my trust isn't that
and if i do and if if everything is sickness if one of the things a sickness affliction betrayal
can also be making the stakes be falling down on might on the job me being unkind to others and myself
all of that
i want to learn to be compassionate with
so there's betrayal i wanted practice compassion with the betrayal if you betray me if i think you'd betray me are you tell me you're betraying me whatever i want to be compassionate to that i want to welcome that i want to welcome betrayal i want to welcome harm
i want open to it i want to be careful of it i want to be patient with it i want to be diligent with it i want to be calm with it
and if i practice that way with it i become less and less afraid of it
and less than less afraid of those things means less than less afraid of
my rich parents
who are giving me
complete universal support and also receiving
all of me
like that song why not give all me when i take all with me yeah right
that's reality
so that's what i believe in but i don't believe that beings will not appear to be harming me and i don't believe that i cannot be harmed
but i do believe that no matter how hot i potentially aspire to no matter how much i'm harmed to eventually learn how to meet that harm that high heel with you respecting it an honoring the feeling of harm
not downplaying it not lying about it not denying it
give a giving it is do opening to it
saying thank you
i have no complaints
and been careful of it and someone that's what i believe it but i don't believe there's going to be no more trouble
and i don't believe there isn't going to be more trouble i just think probably there will be unless i die right now
right now i'm feeling pretty i don't feel like anybody's betraying me right now are harming me i don't
but you might if i lived much longer some of you might harm me some of you might betray me somebody might lie to me some you might not be loyal to me are faithful to me
and i might not be that way with myself or with you that might happen
and that will be difficult
and challenging maybe but i am up for the challenge generally speaking as my vow
and if we live for a long time the likelihood of running indecent proposal becomes greater
you've heard about old age right
it's lot of people find it really hard
so we need to develop these practice habits which can perhaps survive and you know our organo reproduce themselves as we are going to old age
and if were young
and if we've got the practice so to survive into middle age
ah yes

i say welcome to the pain basically
if i feel pain i mean sometimes people intend to betray me that can see they're trying to betray me but it doesn't hurt don't know was hurt when they betray me
girls a little boys
so grandchildren are nice because they they do things which you know they intend to be cruel and they sometimes don't hurt
but some people
have a but when grandchildren as they grow up they sometimes learn more accurate ways of getting to you and you know like when by the time they're teenagers they can sometimes in our big girl right to the they know the spot to touch and said can you can have a bad one who if it's a challenge
you when my grandson was younger
he used to pinch me and bite me says at her know it is at her now does that hurt know is that hurt who desired yes if we just stop now please does that hurt you
so on
i'm a star with generosity welcome the pain
have whatever
if you can't in that moment welcome it then welcome let your cat
so you could you could maybe not welcome at and you could one possibility if you can try to welcome them feel like i didn't really welcome it and you can just try again or you could shift from what you think is to advance to go back and take something easier like welcoming that you couldn't
welcome it
so like i often use that example of my up somebody giving me a nice new automatic pencil
and i came home and i said look at the automatic pistol i got and my wife said can i have it
and i said no
i wasn't ready to welcome her request and give her it the pencil but i welcome that i didn't welcome it i felt a little embarrassed not doing it but
i wasn't too hard on myself
so you you're not ready
here's this person who has done so much for you and you're not ready to give her a automatic pencil
silly boy
but i didn't beat myself up and i had a good night's sleep in the next morning i i got up and somehow the automatic pencil came to mind again
and say picked it up and gave it to her but i was ready to give it to her
by been joined by welcoming my stinginess i got ready to be welcome giving the bottom my pencil away
and again you can someone can ask you presenting and you can give it to them and the same time betray yourself because you don't want to give it to him
you don't and you even if you handed over you're not giving it to him you just betraying yourself who doesn't want to give it to them
so if you feel if someone asking for something and you hesitate he might check to see what is on what does not betraying yourself it might be to say not be non betrayal might be you know i am embarrassed to say that i actually am not ready to give you this pencil
and i did and i didn't betray myself on that occasion i'm just a stingy guy
and and the person said he and you should be ashamed to yourself and you say well i am kind of little bit because i would like to be able to give you everything but that's not where i'm at right now and i'm not going to pretend that i'm somebody else so when you when you if you think you are giving you should check to see if you're being honest about it to move
on from giving to ethics and see if you're trying to like get a good reputation as a giver trying to avoid thinking of yourself as stingy on someone so forth and then be patient with how long it takes you before you ready to be generous because it's painful not to be generous little bit anyway or a lot
the practice that when you bring compassion to your lack of generosity
to hear not very been very compassionate to this person and
you will
fine the way to compassion

what problem do you have a prompt on a problem don't i have
the label of good or bad how yeah they do they do
why should you see that people do get me labels of good and bad right
i am pretty much fine with it yeah that this is one of my great happinesses
after crack after practicing zen center for forty nine years i'm kind of okay with people label me as bad and good and not just children
or yeah i'll actually i'm i'm i'm i'm good with i'm fine with that and people do knew that they say bad priest the priest are on a mediocre priest above average for below average pace people do say that and sometimes this they seem to be saying it about me
and then i get to i get to be compassionate with high feel and with them talking to me like that
so i can be
able to be this lucky for that label or less yeah
so there's the thought there's a thought their labeling me and then there's a thought and i have done deal with that label both of those things might be quite uncomfortable
this kind of uncomfortable if somebody tells you like comedy says you're a woman if a little bit uncomfortable because you know that you're not just a woman that does the word to say you for somebody to say you are homa you're not home that your name for them
you say your name's homer that's all a bit different
okay attribute like what like good and bad yeah
or great yeah yeah right yeah so yet when people label you with attributes you feel some discomfort
i don't know discovered
but i feel discomfort that buckingham i suppose or i going
that now i'm to sustain
sustain this
this label decision that they're putting out to eat at all
i wanna be me i want to be a vertical lacking in general some of the labels i i got it so when when you start to feel like you have to either be in accord with that or not you start to feel some stress
yeah so that's that's the opportunity for compassion
somebody says you're wonderful and you feel like one now my supposed to be wonderful for for several hours
i feel stressed about that so i'm compassionate to feel stressed that people are saying i'm wonderful and i'm just did a wonderful now for like you know how long am i supposed to be wonderful
and i thought makes me feel stressed and but i can be compassionate to that
someone also said i mentioned somebody that
martial arts and that as i mentioned to your number times the first thing they teach you in judo anyway
they teach you how to fall
surfaces were how about emotionally falling
same way if you fall you can practice compassion with your falling
and to think if somebody like if i'm not going to necessarily what's called torture you with this i'm not going to torture with this home anakin walk up to you every few minutes to say home and you're so wonderful i'm not going to do that to torture you but i'm tempted
to say you're so wonderful and then in easy now you said that and now i have to deal with maybe they should be that way that you think i am
but you know i don't want you to be with the way if i think you are
i wanted to be compassionate with how you feel with how i think about you that's what i want
and then you might say well nice poster to be compassionate
and i feel stressed about i have to be compassionate and i want you to be compassionate with that stress that you think i'm commanding your compassion
i do hope that your i do wish that you would be compassionate
but you are not commander you because wishing is enough for me commanding some kind of misleading because i can't control you into being compassionate but i wouldn't i do wish that for you
i totally
see when it comes to compassion not be an uncompassionate but i am willing to receive power
compassion gas data great but you're having trouble receiving people labeling you're giving your attributes
at that and i'm not going to do that over and over just to give you an opportunity to feel stressed and pregnant practice compassion i'm not gonna do that but only people other people are going to and i'm going to send them to get to do that
and then i'm going say remember the mirror what to do not oma i sent those people do i'm not gonna do it but i have people who to do it for me and i remember what to do in all right and say yes and so you might team when you show me again and then i'll show you then you can do it to say ready for another person i miss another person or
already yes i'm ready send them
that i know my outfit
she says she's giving me an attribute
thank you obama
and i didn't fall into it i was tempted
oh it's pretty cool i didn't fall into it but if i did find you and say wow
i an arm or better than she does that i'm really a good priest straight
if i had fallen into it i have way of dealing with my falls
i practiced generosity and and i get i'm careful with my falls i know why say i think i fell there and i don't hate myself for falling
and slander myself for falling and i don't
again i don't intoxicate myself to numb myself from the feelings that i get when i fall and so on
this is an impatient with my falling and in this way
compassion grows out of my falls my falls produce blossoms of compassion
so i should fall me to give my compassion and opportunity and i do fall occasionally and but i'm not you know i'm not done this is an ongoing or by the way someone said to me
that she met an artist who expressed herself so freely and so openly was really inspiring and she said like you do except it was with an artist and i thought oh wait a minute
i'm an artist too
and i want to be an artist who expresses herself freely
but my artwork is our relationship
i'm i'm doing the art of our relationship and i'm doing it with you see your artists too
and we want to get more and more
on what's the word for great we want to be bigger and more wonderful artists and our relationships
never told you this
you never told me okay let's hero
i had a dream
you know kind of torn between
you are on a ship with a group of people and somebody asked you what is art
an man
the back room and started drawing long and then everybody started talking on the well with you so
yeah i'm right yeah no i i i
but not just an artist's been an artist who wants to transmit the art
who's part is the other people are drawing on the wall
like you know sometimes that masters do tricks when they die
like they sometimes die they sit up and then they die when and and continue to set up
or sometimes it's they're standing and they die standing and they just keep standing for a while sometimes they hang from a tree with one hand and die and what kept her in rigor mortis sets and so that they continued on
and there's various other little tricks they sometimes do they have enough yogi power so that when they die they can do something which we don't expect somebody who dead to be able to do
when suzuki roshi died he was lying down and his bed
on you know like
upstairs and the zen center in san francisco and as he died one hundred and thirty two people started sitting zazen
so his art
garage his art was us
was our practice and
it's not so much his art in your practice but his part is all of our practices which is your practice to that was his practice
i was in treat this morning by your use the word competency
i was assumed that meant trust that i checked the origins dictionary and as changing room
yes actually the root of it is faith to be with faith
in listening to you talking about this experiment is con combine v day grip with fate
this new target the six parent muitos in relationship to shoveling the dog as a training ground
would you see this experience experiment is as training and faith and sensitive to face with whether you call it the ways of the house eventually him
so one one thing that i trust is a i trust the body start for val
i trust that i i bet on that
but up but then i also touch it trusted teaching which is that the bodhisattva vow in order to
live continue to live and grow
he practiced upon meters
so you feel this
somehow eat in this
reality that we're living in where we're in this intimate relationship with the whole universe
and also in it and we don't understand it
but we're also an intimate relationship with those who do
so we are in know what everybody is intimately related to everybody but we're also intimately and and most people do not understand that
more everybody is in reality according to this teaching supporting everybody out and being supported by everybody else but most living beings do not understand that
however we are also an intimate relationship with those who do we call them buddhas and in that relationship with the buddha's we get this listing arises in this at some point is becomes eventually conscious can we wish to walk the path to a
understanding this reality
and then out of this wish to walk this path we also hear that there's practices to
protect his wish on the path no matter how deep the dog gets and even if there's like sores in the dung
we're told that all of this is an opportune all of this is included in the path
and then do we believe it and the more we practice those practices with the done
and then with the business of the house the more we use of practices the more confidence grows so that it says in the story over and over his confidence gradually grew that he the way he was with all his problems
what's to be engaged with with compassion
and that and he did gradually come to think yeah maybe my life is a suitable opportunity
for the practice of these
of this great house
stupid he talked to him
i'm this way and i aspire to be that way and being this way is an opportunity to realize that what i aspire to
and and a lot of more the way i am doesn't look like what i aspire to
it looks like i'm poor and i've been told i actually wasn't told
and ah and so i don't want either i really shouldn't be in the neighborhood of such wealth
but it is over there it is nearby and gradually i come to feel like well i couldn't deal with all that wealth because i can deal with poverty i can deal with wealth
second time i get invited he was invited at the beginning of the story when it came back home he was
like very firmly invited to come up to the house and he he fainted
what that from invitation so that an invitation was loosened up and i got it he got different invitation not to come to the house but the deal with something more in his his realm and he was up for it it was it was okay he he he had a lot of problems so it was
like he could deal with these problems but he couldn't do the problem of the the ultimate invitation he wasn't ready for so then he gradually develop more and more confidence and then he felt like well like actually put deal with things i thought would be impossible to deal with before
and then he did and in his company's kumar and then he finally dealt with the punch line is
you always you view have always been dealing with it and you've always been in this family but you couldn't stand couldn't stand a face it
and you had to go away from it to face it
we have to go away from our nature to face it and we have to face it to realize it even though it's what we already are so we have to go away from our human nature which is very difficult so we can face it and work out our compassionate intimacy with it and then we
realize it
and it's sir
it's not paul that easy this path
the father demonstrated great skillful means
he said some of the wealth
the southern harris yes and also by the way the father in a way made a mistake at the beginning
he actually debate to get his story he made a mistake he feel he felt like he made a mistake of letting his son go
excuse me for saying so but that i just got this resonance with
the christian story is that he cared so much for the world that he gave his only son
but in this story he didn't really register that he gave his son but he did give his son he led his son run away and then before his son came back he had regret that he hadn't kept his son in the house
and buddhist story to shakyamuni buddha story he lived in this very nice house also
and his father wanted to keep him in the house
and in this case it the father didn't really let him go shakyamuni wanted to go away and he had he had to really big his father to let him go
but the industry we have the boy wandered away and a father was kind of at first regretful that he let him go away
because he wants his boy in the house
i'll again another residences my own children you know and grandchildren i want them in the house but the reason why there are grandchildren is because the children got
away from the house
now i thought impossible to have children in the house but anyway this case the children went away from the house had grandchildren i let the children go away and now i let the grandchildren go away the grandchildren moved to other cities i let them go i show them a grandfather who
wants them in the house
but who let them go so this is the father let sancho but he didn't know it
then the sun comes back and he may be the father metal got a little bit too excited
and in his excitement his skill and means was not too good cause he sent his angels these jewel study angels to go and apprehend his boy that was not so skillful in a way and he but he sought to become or he recovered and then he sent a more pro
operate messenger somebody who wouldn't frighten his son
then now know is cooking
and then he he gradually entices his son back into the house by doing things which will help him develop the confidence that he could
assume responsibility for this ultimate wealth of human life
but it the stories entity because the father slipped a little bit once or twice
he slipped when he didn't understand that his son had to run away
and he slipped when his son came back to gallery too excited mood but too happy maybe a little too intoxicated by all his baggy yikes let's get him
i'd got him back know bit too much so industry the father although saw the represents the buddha in a way the father was a buddha who still make some mistakes
but then he recovered and so it has happy ending
and the story is i will say saying that we are all on his path and if there's gonna be a happy ending for all of us
we're all gonna become buddhas but is committed is gonna be quite a trip between on
there may be trouble ahead
so i others
music and moonlight and love and respect
oh no love and romance let's face the music and dance
soon we may be without the moon
singing a different tune and then there may be teardrops to shed
so while there's music can moonlight and love and respect no romance
let's face the music and dance
okay here we go
may i
the way extend to agree be and place where
the his way the numberless
i would to say examined the aliens are inexhaustible
because to end down
a about this
about to enter them buddha as way is unsurpassable
thank you