Freedom from Delusion through studying Delusion

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A virtual Dharma talk by Tenshin Roshi for an online gathering of the No Abode community

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you read
ah let's see where we we just shattered a
a verse
at the beginning written by ancient teacher a hey dogon
and am
at the beginning he he duggan said ah
in the original he actually said i vow from this live on throughout countless lives to hear the true dharma
but we could also say i can also say you can also say i vow to see the true dharma

that's a vow a commitment
to see and hear the true dharma
and that commitment that vow
i might go with the wish the wish
the aspiration
to see and hear the true dharma
that aspiration to hear that your dharma up to see the true dharma might arise in relationship to another in wish
i wish to save all the eggs i wish to save others
i wish to liberate all beings
from delusion and misery

so when we have a
a dharma event like this is good for i think it's good for us to reflect
inwardly about our motivation
in our lives and in particular also our motivation right now as we come to this meeting

is our motivation
to save all beings

is our motivation to cut through all affliction
in order to save all beings

so again the verse we just chatted
the ancestors said that if we do here the true dharma
if we do see the true dharma
we will be able to care for the true dharma take care of it
if we see it and here it will be able to take care of it
and in taking care of it in maintaining it
the great earth and all living beings together will attain the good away
once again
in seeing and hearing the true dharma we can take care of it
and in taking care of it the great earth and all living beings together will realize the boot away
and be free of suffering and being and be able to help others be free of suffering

so again let us reflect on a regular basis once a day twice a day every hour
every minute
what is our
central motivation in life
if it is to benefit all living beings if it is to benefit and liberate the world of suffering

then perhaps we can vow to do so
and this wow will be the basis for us to see and hear the true dharma which will enable us
to fulfill our wish and to fulfill our vow
and then the next paragraph says
although our ancient although our ancient twisted karma has greatly accumulated indeed being a cause and condition for obstacles in practicing the buddha away may all booed as an ancestor's be compassionate to us and free as from karmic effects so if we've discovered this
this wish to benefit this world
to contribute to the liberation of all beings and the and the great earth

even so there may be karmic obstructions to this great work
and i says male booed as an ancestor be compassionate to us here we are perhaps wishing to liberate all beings wishing to benefit this troubled earth
this troubled great earth
but there may be carmack
obstructions to this work may all buddhas be compassionate to us and free us from these obstructions to this work
and how did they free us from obstruction from this work do in this work how did they free us from the karmic obstructions and
seems to make a difficult for us to do this work how did they do it with compassion yes and in their compassion they give us gifts
and what gift do they offer us think offers the teacher
the offers the dharma they offers ways to look at our karmic consciousness
where in
we were in our self lives
and that's where the karma is
every everybody has come and consciousness
but not everybody is studying it
so the buddhas and if we don't study it than the karmic consciousness is a hindrance
to the vow
to save all bags
if we don't study the karmic consciousness than the karma conscience is just keeps generating hindrance to the practice of living for the welfare of all beings
everybody has gone with consciousness but not everybody studying it
the buddha's compassion encourages us to study karmic consciousness
which is there every moment

so not i
i'm offering
through the buddha's compassion teachings on how to study karmic consciousness
and teachings about the causation the cause and effect relationships
of karmic consciousness and all beings

last tuesday i started a series of classes under the auspices of the yoga room and after the
after the class someone graciously offered me some feedback on the class about karmic consciousness
and they said i think they said something like that they found the class confusing

and one could say that the class was confusing but also one could say that common consciousness is confusing
or that karma consciousness is usually
embodying confusion and it usually there's confusion in karmic consciousness so to study karma consciousness is
involves studying
now someone could have also given me to the feedback on on the class that they found the class deluded
and again karma consciousness is full of delusions
so if use if you see delusion
if you see confusion you're actually have a great opportunity there because you when you see that you're seeing karmic consciousness

but it's not necessarily pleasant to be looked to be m
you know looking at are contemplating confusion
pretty much all karmic consciousness is confused and deluded
but again not everybody is aware of it
all it
cruelty and
unfortunate unwholesome activities that are going on in the world today those are enactments of karmic consciousness and now that they're enactment of unexamined
on illuminated misunderstood karmic consciousness
if common consciousness is not studied
and understood it remains confusion and delusion and from that confusion and delusion
very unfortunate
actions are born are you know unexpressed
carmack consciousness has consequence
every moment of karmic consciousness has consequence
everybody's karmic consciousness is having consequence
but the unexamined cosmic consciousness is the one that causes harm in the world
and the examined one
lead to the enlightened one and the enlightened one brings benefit to the world
brings benefit to the world
where some karmic consciousnesses are not being examined it brings benefit to those who are not examining their cosmic consciousness
it brings compassion in the form of teaching to the unexamined carmack consciousnesses

so if i am blessed
with the aspiration
to live for the welfare of others
and liberate all beings from suffering and benefit the physical and sentient world
and i wanna do that work then it would be appropriate for me to examine the realm where obstructions to that work are living
and in that examination come to understand that realm and realize buddhahood for the welfare of all beings
so as many of you know the ancestor dogon who i just quoted who says there may be karmic hindrances though can also said defined gave one definition of delusion getting a delusion that lives and karmic
consciousness he didn't say that he just said
to practice
and confirm
all things while carrying the self
his delusion
or you could say by driving
our actions and our practice with a self his delusion

and that's usually what's going on in cosmic consciousness is there is a sense of self and there is confusion about it and there is a sense of the self is doing the practice and the self is relating to all things to see that way when
is common in karmic consciousness is one of the definitions are one of the pictures of delusion
so cut and then dog and also says
to be greatly awakened in the midst of this confusion in the midst of this delusion
it doesn't say the buddha's don't have any confusion or delusion it says to be awakened to this delusion that exists in climate conscience to be awakened to dollars greatly is buddhists
as i liked that way that awakening to this delusion is buddha's another translation would be those who are greatly awakened to this delusion are good as

but when you say those who are it mix a little separation between those and the awakening i prefer
just the awakening
the great awakening about delusion is that's what good it is and we we all of us have a consciousness to have delusions in it so buddha is right there in our consciousness when our consciousness is
understood where our delusions are understood
buddha that's buddhahood are thus and actually buddha is there in our consciousness all the time understanding it
once again everybody's got diluted confused karmic consciousness but not everybody's looking at it
so i like to
work with this consciousness and be in conversation with other consciousnesses to help examine this consciousness and help other consciousnesses examine themselves study themselves see the delusion
compassionately observe the delusions compassionately observed the confusion
rather than try to get rid of the confusion and then study buddhism let's work with the realm of karmic consciousness let's study the karma moment by moment it's there to be studied
it's warm and still to be enjoyed
and again it's there whether we enjoy it and pay attention to it or not but if we don't take care of him
then it just creates more obstruction unattended karmic consciousnesses create more hindrance to our practice
of the way of liberating beings and benefiting beings

i am just was recently been studying the various kinds of ordination ceremonies that we do for lay people and priests and i came upon a transcript
an ordination that occurred in our nation's ceremony that occurred in nineteen seventy
and it was the ordination ceremony of me of this person and also of
my dharma brother paul disco we were obtained almost fifty two years ago
and i see charlie here i don't know charlie if you could if you could find and see if we have ah the audio
of that ordination ceremony because it was recorded on cassette and i have the cassette and i'll i'll give it to you but i think the cassette might be a not usable anymore
but usually we do not record our nation ceremonies at st center but and i didn't know that
the ordination ceremony that i was
in was recorded
and it was and i was reading it recently and at the end at the end of the ceremony suzuki roshi talks about as suggests to us that we all have this
true mind within us this mind the buddha has the mind to save all beings he suggested it's in us
and he suggested that the ordination ceremony is to join the order of studying and taking care of this great mind
charlie we if you in your spare time if you ever have any could you see if you can find it that the via
the the ordination was august knife nineteen seventy
and if you don't have if you do have a great and if you don't have it i'll give you the cassette but i have a transcript of it

okay so
do you have any questions about how to study your mind your consciousness your karmic consciousness you have any questions about how to study and he and study and study and study and compassionately investigate your
own karma consciousness do you feel motivated to do so do you feel responsible to do so if i
wish to benefit all beings
remembering that is a is remembering that means i remembered the karmic consciousness
which has that wish in it
first i look and see if i can find that wish in the karmic consciousness and then to take care of that wish to protect it i need to keep looking to see if it's living in my mind and if it is how's it doing
and how's the confusion in that mind and m am i letting any moments of confusion
pass unattended and the answer is probably i do sometimes
but i can actually right now as i'm talking to you
i can look at
the karmic mind
while i'm talking to you my speech is in an is a karma coming from my consciousness
and my consciousness has a pattern which is the karma

and i'm studying it and i'm not just studying because it's interesting are not interesting because it might not be interesting and might be boring lot of people tell me that they find their karmic consciousness really boring
that they're sick of it they sometimes say i'm sick of myself
that's one way to put it but another way to put it is i'm sick of looking at the consciousness which has a self in it i'm sick of a consciousness that has a self in it and we're a self is surrounded by all kinds of confusion and delusion
and yeah i understand how one might be sick of it it's not as cut is kind of like being a rough waters you might get sea sick if you pay attention to this comic consciousness
but if i want to benefit all beings and a part of my responsibility in addition to be practicing compassion towards self in all beings is to do the work of studying this confusion because again studying this confusion is what buddhists do
and in studying the confusion they realize awakening about the confusion so if i want to benefit beings part of my responsibility is to study confusion and illusion of my own mind and meet other people in
here but there's and help them study their own and have them help me study my own by asking me if i'm studying my own

okay i
i don't know mitt
maybe that's enough as an introduction and let's see if it's enough
if you have with in your mind in near karma consciousness
i wish
a mental phenomena which is a wish
to realize awakening in order to benefit all beings is there that wish there
i offer that question now and i hope you take care of that question in the future
again suzuki roshi said in my ordination ceremony that we do have that wish in us we do have that true mind which wishes to save all beings it's there
look and see if is there and if you can find it then next question is is there any confusion coexisting with that wonderful wonderful wish
and there probably is and do you understand is a clear that if you have that wish then also part and parcel of that wish
is the responsibility to study the hindrances
the surround the afflictions that surround that wonderful wish
that wonderful aspiration and if you do understand that that is our responsibility and the responsibility of your consciousness then let's talk about how to fulfill that responsibility by studying
that situation and also by listening to teachings about that situation and also to listen to teachings about the causation in relationship to studying or not studying karma consciousness
in the midst of confusion
do you have any questions in the midst of confusion do you have any requests in the midst of confusion do you have any comments in the midst of confusion to have any confusion
i see many yellow hands okay
yellow hands unite
the first offering is fun sameer

hello read hello to everyone
hello i have a question about the michael fusion
as i told you before
the reason why i started to practice virgin
it was because i heard i read something from
so keycode no she
practice for nothing
and when i heard that it was kind of illumination in me if it possible to do something from look for nothing and from the time i answered the practice of zazen and try to practice wholeheartedly with the
sanga by myself
then not having expectation that i will gain something from the practice
so no
finding myself
and the comic obstructions
it's a part of the properties as you as you said and i try to do it but are the same time
i feel
but you want it to like
i practice to gain more clarity instead of just practicing facing the wall and a cleaning the house and helping somebody in the street and so on but just by by by acting not by
intellectual rising of site called the jaws are on the one stone shape using the i will withstand psychology so could you please give me more yeah federal and k so you you think you you said you started practicing thousand when you hurt
this teaching from kodo soul aki roshi right yeah the teaching of practice sitting without food for nothing
yeah practice sitting with no expectation of game
that really appeal to you
so then you've tried to practice it and you have been practicing it for many years which is great
he didn't say
if you have the wish to benefit all beings practice this way
he just said this practice in that appeals to you and i would say the reason this practice that he told you about appeal to you is because you do have the wish to benefit our bigs
of course i have yeah but he didn't say that but i'm saying that and you say of course that's right if you have the wish to benefit all beings and this practice that you that you're talking about is an appropriate practice
so that's great
and when i'm also saying is that you also have a karmic consciousness so here you have a cosmic consciousness and in there is a wished to benefit all beings and ulster there's an appreciation to to live without trying to gain anything
however the karma consciousness has deep habits to try to gain something
and if we don't attend to those practices for example to gain clarity or to be more perfect at not trying to gain anything if we don't take care of that carmen consciousness than those obstructions undermine the practice of for example
to do an action like sitting or talking or thinking
in a way that's clear clear what that sees what delusion really is so
you have the practice in mind and the practice that he could the practice of
sitting for example with know without trying to get anything that practice could be called the practice of the true dharma that could be called the practice of taking care of the dharma but there's karmic hindrances
and you don't have to go look for them they're right there however
we do have to pay attention to the to what's right there and what's right there is that the place where this orientation to to practice for the welfare of all beings without any expectation of game the practice to live for the welfare of others without try
to get anything that's the practice
and there's all kinds of delusions around and we have to also part of our responsibility is to study those delusions again without any gaining idea
if we ignore them they just keep undermining this simple practice once again the simple practice of living to save others with no expectation of gay that's the practice and that practice lives in a space
where there is confusion if we don't take care of the confusion the not taken care of the few confusion will throw us off of this simple practice
so we have to take care of the confusion
and then again learn to take care of the confusion to save it and have no expectation of saving it

the the delusion to feel that
practicing for nothing is possible
i i i i believe that it is possible
and i believe that it exists that the practicing with for nothing exists surrounded by confusion which is trying to gain something
if the if that simple practice doesn't live in the midst of trying to gain something than though all those changed all those attempts to gain something will not be liberated
and they'll just keep generating more obstructions
but if we do this practice which is already right there
it will liberate all of our attempts to gain something i believe that that's what i believe yes
to to keep working compassionately with all this confusion
for the sake and night with no expectation that is gonna anything's gonna be accomplished i want to accomplish the freedom of all biggs but i have no expectation that is gonna happen i believe is possible but i don't expect it
but i'm working for it
i love you i love you

her next offering is from jim

good morning rep good morning everyone
so every day i uh
have a habit of going to
so the then and i always go to
that term
that practice with the intention of studying karmic consciousness
it seems like that's what i'm here to do
and arms
and i i i usually start out with the some success actually and then what i notice is that karmic consciousness has a mind of it's own
and ah at some point or
ah it seems it seems to were take over and
so what i conclude i would have where i would i think is that ah karmic consciousness has some resistance to being studied it it it has it it it's like that part of the seems to me to be part of the the dilemma of karmic conch
justice isn't as analysis resistance to being studied it doesn't want to be studied or or it into is a subversive it's trying to get away from being studied
and so
yeah so that southern i saw the night i see something right there yeah please the observation
that karmic consciousness have some resistance to being studied
is a revelation that comes from studying karmic consciousness
so the fact that that's been observed the resistance has been reserved is a success story
there's some awakening to that the situation that to be studied is also has within it resistance to it being study
and the ended so my next strategy is a well but of a to were
know i guess so
go back go back to studying and even though it resists being studied
and study the resistance right so the wish to study and the resistance live in the same space
study that confusion study the resistance along with the wish to study that's part of the work and you're doing it
and be compassionate of course be compassionate to the wish to study cosmic consciousness
clap for that yea and also be kind to the resistance
and the resistance is part of our no biological situation it takes a lot of energy to study karma consciousness
it doesn't take any energy not to study it
so so there's the the the our body and mind is built in such a way that the that are the you know study is very expensive so you could say where we there's a habit to not expand the energy that it takes to study the karma consciousness and so
so part of the buddha's teaching is too
praise study so much that will get over our laziness you could say resistance
well you can say it's laziness or the karmic consciousness has a laziness in it which doesn't want to spend energy of the body and mind to be studying this thing because the karmic consciousness can go on without study
which is not good but it can do it and it doesn't take any energy just to keep rolling along and obstructing the buddha way
so when we start when we wish to study what you're saying you want to do we noticed that there's some her habit of not studying which is similar to resisting studying which is similar to resistance to expanding the energy
on study rather than the energy on karma karma which isn't which is very efficient just kept rolling very easy is hard to study comic conscience takes a lot of effort we need to really think it's important
and you do but you need to keep thinking it's important and also apply practice to the resistance be kind to the resistance study the resistance you could say but buddhists are those who are greatly awakened to the resistance to studying mind
great awakening to this resistance is buddha's so it's a success that you wish to study and that you notice the resistance and again now study the resistance and awakened to the resistance and that's buddhists
that's what i intend great
thank you
her next stuttering is fran allison

hello alison
and you mutate and second rating rape great to see you to see you and thank you to the sanga for being here with us
we spoke about a week ago and when we spoke i shared with you that i'm exploring the experience of betrayal and exploring the question of
how one hails from betrayal how when freeze oneself from
what i'm realizing through this conversation is a complex karmic consciousness view full of i capital i's and self
and so i wanted to share two things that are coming up today around it
when way i've been practicing as i notice when through interacting with others which is where the betrayal usually a purse for me if i notice a small bay trail than i slow down an ace and i sit with that i slow down and stretch out the experience and
notice what's coming up with my body and mind
and notice what arises of like what do i do
and so this week i experienced
what i perceived as a betrayal that was may be on a level four of one the ten so there is some stuff you know i had some juice
and the person with which this occurred was visiting and then went away so then i had time to sit and notice
ah first all the ideas of what i thought was happening and they're notice the sensations in my body which involved the quite a bit attention
and honestly and out i guess certain sense of deep pain like pain in my chest pain and it i get hurts
ah physically
and then and sitting with it and carrying it around and studying at for the weekend i realized
why don't
you asked this person
what was happened like what they were thinking instead of staying in the place of deciding what was happening and perhaps to simply opening the conversation then that the trail isn't a betrayal big as then it's
a conversation
no so i i wonder your thoughts on that a and then the big question is lush green love for yeah a the i saw that i feel what it would i heard you say was as sound like you were studying the sent the feeling of betrayal and that you are
we're practicing compassion with it
you are paying attention to you noticed it you paid attention to it and you saw more and more about it and you are kind to it and in this a tent kind attention to this sense of betrayal is wonderful thing arose in you which was curiosity in here
what what was going on
so that kind of compassion with this bit betrayal in kind of consciousness leads to some investigation and wondering
which can lead you to understand what that betrayal isn't become free of it
even if you never talked to that person you're already cure you're already curious about this thing in you you you're cured being curious about the betrayal is the path to a insight about an awakening to the betrayal buddhists are those
our tear again great awakening about this betrayal is buddha's even if you never talked to that person again if you can if there can be awakening to this betrayal there's buddha
and the curiosity is beginning to study it
but first before you studied at you were like giving it space and being generous with it and letting it be not trying to get rid of it or to plan razvan rat revenge you are working with this thing in your karmic consciousness and as wasn't easy but you did it you that was great and then that led to a wisdom practice which is wondering
what is what actually is
betrayal and was a wonder what's going on with that person and so on so that's that's the first part that's great keep it up there thank you it was actually it was the first time in my life why realized
just ask and then it is a
yeah really in the whole just just ask this question yeah and then i was more he was dumb compassionate with with the person as i had the great opportunity to be able to talk to that person in a conversation that was a conversation so that was a gift
ah so then the next layer i'm realizing today is you know there is some gaining ideas still because it and want the pain to go away no want the pain go away you wish treat the wish for the pain to go away
give it the same compassion you gave the sense of betrayal
and and then by being compassionate to the wish for the pain to go away
then again that might open to curiosity about what is this wish of the painter go away i'm not trying to get rid of the wish to get rid of the pain i'm letting it be and nine wondering what is it
you're welcome congratulations that's a great great attention to little boy
this whole practice helps make that happen
a great appreciation
our next offering is from jeremy

your music jerry pure me
grab em
it's great this topic has come up on i am i have an observation i'd like to share
the i can ah
when i've been
examining karma on i feel less confusion more being overwhelmed
my overwhelming sense is the vastness of karma
and depths of it
and that's when i began to attempt to explain excuse me my six nipping at that point yeah we said i think you said the vastness of karma oh and the depth of it yeah so that is a
description of a traditional x description of karma is that it's vast unbounded and has no basis no no fundamental it's so deep it doesn't have a bottom so that vision of karma of your karmic consciousness is has been shared by the ancestors that's part of study
it is to realize is vast and unlimited an unreachable the deep
well i have to be scary but that's part of what is involved in the study is to as to is that revelation
the up and and the effects of that is as i begin to attempt to explain my behavior say
all of these explanations are very our affections are stories the explanations are more delusions in the karmic consciousness yeah and they should be dealt with with compassion right they should be studied
but there were these fictions
right these fixes are calling for compassion and they need study
they need study okay
ah but if you're getting you are studying because she you can read your reporting that you've noticed these fictions that's because you're studying them
okay am
and ah than the the sensation is of just or and ah
ah amazement and ah wonder
that if fit does are beneficial arising which will support your study
they'll help your study be fruitful to help your study penetrate the fictions
the delusions right
thank you very good thank you

the next offering his friend charlotte

oh ramp
dear assembly the and what's the what's your friend's name
the navy's alma on alma am alma alma yeah
yeah i don't know how this is gonna work now when she wanted to be
a room with me but i will i will try
well i wanted to an
then to ask and question and and make a confession
yeah and
and my question is really related to that i i'm eating a medicine
you know i'd like a prozac medicine who and
and i feel an
that is ten
it helps me and some in some ways to function better and but i also feel that it has of
greeley him
made me feel numb kind of them in my experiences and
and and
it's use make especially me
if only a fool is good the on of new so bad
tell have the go go much deeper glad come into her yeah the funny part i the lived and it okay under the smash linger pack
it's triggered you notice some numbness so
be aware of that numbness and be kind to the numbness and wonder what is the numbness him study the numbness
and you might say but it's harder for me to study the numbness because i'm feeling numb well yes for it
even so you can study numbness to know if there is calling first compassion and are also wants to be understood they want you to wonder about it
call that that was yeah
the your several okay great great awakening to a numbness is buddha
thinking with him o'clock the phone is for your hair your can greatly and pepper and was as good as was carrying a and okay it okay yeah real to me to hang out there has to see him

here in the same time am sorry i'm pam
yeah so because i feel that ah it's been very difficult for me too
the a and kind of scared to or m
the very worried to lose connection with m
my sensitivity and n and also go to compassion because i feel like compassion am
i feel like it over is often kind of embraces my pain and and now when i feel that their compassion
okay that connection so strong and and i when i've really kind of sense that i that i have really attached to to compassion and to be to be feeling this warms and this embrace
so i guess that
but and i think that that attachment has really stared with my mind up
and it made me
yeah but again you your your awareness of this hmm i see as showing that you're studying your mind
when you're aware of this attachment that's good that's that's part of your responsibilities to be aware of attachment and also to be aware but the attachment causes disturbance in the mind
hmm so those both of those observations are showing that you're studying your your karma consciousness is good and then also you can be compassionate to the attachment and you can be compassionate to the disturbance that the attachment causes because attachment normally causes disturbance
and you're seeing that
this this observation has been made for thousands of years and you're making it today attachment creates disturbance you're seeing this is your studying this is good
if not if not pleasant to see the attachment is painful and it's not pleasant to see that
it's disturbing but i find it pleasant to hear that you're studying
i'm happy that your study and you can report this because you're nodding your taken care of your karmic consciousness
you're meditating on it
oh makes me very very happy to hear that because i kind of feel like maybe now
i cannot really practice the way the right yeah will you are the you actually are practicing
if you weren't you wouldn't be able to tell us this
because you're practicing you can tell us you notice attachment to compassion and you notice that the attachment is disturbing this means you are meditating you are paying attention to your car consciousness you are still seeing your karma
him and his hard work
but you're doing it
that because i feel like maybe i had this am
ah yeah i'm kind of have had this worry that is the lack of sensitivity is gonna read and that harmful to into her quickly good worry your former the worry is another opportunity
for you to observe the pattern of your consciousness and you and you have been observing it that's how you can tell us so you're telling us this is another observation of your karmic pattern ah
so i'm not here to get rid of the worry or to make things so that you don't worry we're here to remind you that you your job is to study that worry
mm-hmm and you and you are at the and you arse or where you are starting as somewhat but i want you to be more confident that you that the study are doing that it's awareness you have is the practice
and also there's nothing to gain in this study
was more worries are coming you not studied to get rid of the worries were coming studying to awaken to them
so if this is another example of your awareness of your mind awareness of the patterns of your consciousness this is another example of you studying
you come
romeo up your columbia law at the for it to go this some the book gratuita y
yeah so am
so you don't think
i wonder if
if you would have any
thoughts about m prozac if it how it if it's not an
we're in a relationship questions
really hesitation there
the matter of your no matter the hitting both the summer on the candidates on the bullet okay okay
when you think know the
my feet of a
we'll krauthammer rarely the krauthammer reb okay i'm sorry i'm sorry okay now on your mind
the thought
taking some medication
what economy supported some keto that thought of taking the medication should also be a with compassion and that should also be studied this is another comic powder
and this study will lead you to frame wisdom
in the meantime if you'd do or do not take medication in both cases the practice is to observe the mind which is thinking of taking the medication or not
i bought a tiny
why a lot i have caught me in the plan with the thought
you practice with your thoughts and was awakened
thank you so much red is open
and i'm sorry this bug message
this experiment consciousness
thank you dear him to water my mama
our next offering is from charlie
hello rob i took over good assembly
i'm i looked in the collections morocco and i found this recording of physically roshi ordaining you and paul disco great and i will wanted to share that with the class and amanda can send the link to it afterwards
is an american pie yeah
and it is a it's it's a recording taken from the original reel to reel tape so it's hopefully better quality than that can serve you have
but there's indications of several times that there's gaps of be missing so maybe or cassette will have some thing it was not there before color so i've looked at the places where their pauses
when i think i know it was going on during the pauses i think that it wasn't a fault of the recording i think they'd turn the recording off
because like one of the places where in the transcript there's nothing in the transcript about receiving the robs in the balls
yeah and that's it so there's a bright when the right in the transcript right the place of giving the rogues in the balls he stops
so there's various places where suzuki roshi wasn't really talking and that's usually corresponds to the to the to the gaps so i don't think it's a problem with the recording i didn't happen instead they get decided to turn it off day during the parts where there is physical actions then that were joined together so i think
it's i think it's okay and my maya cassette also has the gaps
great yeah for example there's not there's does not recitation of the receiving of the precepts
which were warned back and forth that's not in the recording but course i was there so mostly what's on the recordings when he's talking
it's wonderful here out we were interacting a physically and verbally that part is not recorded
it's so interesting thing to hear that the the way that this new know that his precepts are transmitted so many decades ago
and an especially to years the security voice album so i encourage everybody to check it out
and i didn't you know i'm going to take a look maybe there's some other our nation ceremonies that are recorded and we didn't hear more of how of house accuracy presented those them thank that's all him on his share a lot of gone much

pine staffing is from susan

i read hello great assembly thank you so much for be here today read really nice to see you and the sun welcome thank you for joining us i had have questioned before this id new you were talking about today i wrote it in my in my book and i said read the
you talk about mindful self-compassion says i didn't know when it comes to the point where your ego takes over vs when it's very confusing on how it came up with that i'll like the said the person i there was a betrayal that when our undertones
or something yes so part of the confusion of karmic consciousness
where what where there might be a wish to practice self compassion part of the confusion occurs around the self's role in that compassion of hey there is och there's commonly idea that the self is doing the compassion
towards the self
and that's confusion yeah yeah but it's not the self that during the compassion yourself but when you start to allow or invite self compassion into the karmic consciousness
it comes into a realm of confusion in one of the confusions is that the eagles doing the compassion to the self
that's part of the confusion that should be treated with compassion
but it isn't the eagle is doing the compassion towards the ego or towards herself is a delusion that's a delusion and the delusion also is calling for compassion
but that's an example of the confusion of karmic consciousness that when the idea of self compassion which is a good one arises then it seems to be confused about
who's doing the self compassion rather than the self compassionate by it is is the self compassion not somebody's doing it okay that really helps even though it's confusing a house confusing but
confusion and you will begin clarity will come okay that's why that confused because this person is it's happened a lot with the her doing this kind of thing and and one of the times was when the time change happened and they went to go see a doctor and the doctor was never told those coming in early as the post
the be at her place and i was first began giving her something and and when the present them the doctor came in his oh i have to see this other precise have no problem with whatever this thing and then i'll come back and so that was fine and then when i went to go see her she's she is she said i've already sent your tax id
want you to come which happens ninety nine percent of the time he saw are you where are you are you aware that you're telling us about karma consciousness right now yes a hundred percent aware of it that's why i just the good eight mental of karmic conscious make rapidly
exactly so i said to myself well i mean after her chance i went back to the doctor i had chance to kind of calm down and i thought to myself
what she's asking each time is not the same way great better way for this to to happen so that we don't get to this confusion why i need to bring this thing that i can not eat because i'm allergic to it says getting it just or and i thought i'll just leave that out she hasn't
return any my messages even i've reached out and i said and like to know what happened this is what happened with me but i have to learn with that loss that may be a loss the best part of the craziness consciousness and though if they aren't you you said part of the equation as you can also use it is part of the
consciousness yeah same thing this is carmen consciousness which could be called crazy he right exactly thank you that that really help thank you so much of luck
our next buffering is from josh
thank you halloween
follow josh
i'm i'm
just sitting for moment with go back to where i was when i raised my hand after listening to the people in between and also
something about the word offering that that so i don't know what i'm thinking that i made by hand whether i'm thinking i've gotten offering by hearing the word offering ah what it makes me want to say it was me to express some my appreciation her all the people that have been talking just before me and there
the evidence of them
studying their minds and how wonderful eyes to hear it's really supported to me to hear the other people are working at that
i'm and yeah there's another aspect of practice that's important to me as well as this study and comic consciousness and i guess what made me made my hand is wanting to hear what you have to say about how these things fit together and what came up for me when i make my hand with it as
then story that i really like has been playing on my mind a lot recently and it's the one where at the end the monkeys raising his brush any he has which moon is this
and so game back in the story his fellow monks as some i see you're very busy and he says you should know there's one who isn't busy so one of the instructions that i've had from another teacher is to attend to that to studying the one who isn't busy you could say to studying where you
could take studying the true dharma i supposed to seeing the true dhamma so as a practice of attending to the fact that as one who
the bedroom aspect of consciousness here that is in comic consciousness and a how does that fit together with two things that you spoke of his fake of one attending the comic consciousness and you also spoke of attending to this wish but present incoming consciousness to wake up something as three things there and i hope i've expressed that
clearly and i'm wondering how you see them relating to each other
oh how i relate the the busy one to the on busy one of our juggler or are we talking about how to relate
studying the busy one to the wish
so at which which is which which which do you want me to comment on i've put are most interested in the first what you said in in that the the one who's not busy by the two moons there's not really two moons
no there are two boys but they're not they're not a separate
they're their their pepper pivoting on each other
hmm so you can say busy one are not busy one you can also say carmack consciousness and awakening
who where you could say delusion an awakening
wakening isn't really doing anything and awakening even as the understanding that nothing's really been done
but the understanding that nothing's really being done is pivoting with the mind that doing things
the deluded mind that it of doing things they're pivoting they lived together and so the first monk observing the second didn't know the second one monk observing the other says you're too busy
and the one that's being accused of being busy says you should know that this one is not this
and then the monk who accused says are there two moons
is either is they're busy one hundred and not busy one and the one who is accused of busy-ness raises his brood
it as which moon is this is this awakening or is this confusion
which is it
but they're not to because awakening as understanding the business
and of the the monk who was accused of being busy and in sweeping are thinking
did you should be the one who is not thinking
he didn't say you i shouldn't be the one who is busy
i should be the one who's not busy he just says know that there's one who's not busy
and if by any chance someone came and said to him you're not busy he promised he'd say you should know there's one who's busy
and away you but when we have the busy one we have to take care of the busy one if we don't take her the busy one will forget that there's one who's not busy or we won't realize that so we take care of the busy thinking one the karmic
consciousness but all that while that is a cosmic consciousness there's also
an understanding of karmic consciousness which is called buddha
and buddha's not busy would as just understanding busy-ness
i'm getting an interpretation coming up from me for what you said which is not what you've said but it's my interpretation that's coming up which is about almost there are two ways or two views of studying comic constantly kind of karmic consciousness studying itself and they've kind of put a mind looking at comic consciousness
and it's not really care much damage is not really karmic consciousness studying itself
is it during the study is actually not come so there can be unawareness of karmic consciousness which is not the karma
so when we say steady karmic consciousness
the actual study of that is not the karmic consciousness it's just an awareness of it
and i'm an earnest becomes profound is called we call an awakening so the realization of the thing
is inseparable from the thing but it's not the thing looking at itself
it's realization looking at delusion
it seems to me and my in a experienced as a distinction between when i'm looking at confusion was caught in it and when i'm aware of confusion and also aware
oh wow off the awareness that so aware of computers that can be that so you can be that you can be aware of confusion and that might be enough most of the time you could also and then sometimes people as you seen report to me that they're aware of their confusion they report the confusion they report their wish to gain something this shows that there's a way
china's of that but they could also in the i point up the data what i've been i'm aware that there were and i tell them this and then they're aware that they were aware so they can be all that
but you also could just be aware what's going on and watch how the awareness is working with it is it a compassionate awareness great is that isn't a compact so what's going on is
kind and curious
but you don't if you don't even need to know that it's kind in a kid can pick and curious me
but you can also view than you can turn around with all this awareness is kind and curious know nice but then you'll then there's looking at that so it's very complex and understanding all this is called buddha
and we're doing we're doing the study this is the study that meant that is buddha when it's when is fulfilled when is complete
thank you that knows perfectly answers my inquiry and give rise to a million more questions grew a hero

extortion is from susan and power

hello thank you so much for everything your kitchen is today on i do have back to that original question of the desire to save all beings on fiscal strong a nuisance for as long as i can remember the to was
distances that come up most for me are one is it's not safe to go outside the bounds of what is sort of every day
in the other has to do with the question of lot being gluten loss and i wonder if you could share some insights on any of that thank you so much while so we just stay here
could you stay here i'm here
coverage i'd like to look at you while i talked to give me so you had this thought that it's not safe to god's side of the ordinary is you said yeah yeah i'm not saying it's safe to go outside the ordinary and i'm not saying it's not okay
but the or a but also don't say that the ordinary safe
so i'm not saying that ordinary safe and a machine ordinary is not safe
what's not safe is not to be aware and kind to the ordinary that's not safe
and if the not ordinary comes then the safe thing to do the good thing to do is to study the not ordinary but i'm not saying that not ordinary safe
and i sang that
but also that i don't say the ordinary say ordinary if we don't if we're not careful and kind of the ordinary than that's not say it's not so much that the ordinary is not safe is not been kind to it is not safe
the problems we have is when we were not kind to the ordinary and also more not kind to the not ordinary that's where our problems come from from the lack of kindness in a lack of then after being kind to the ordinary or not then from them being coy
kind of the ordinary to wonder about it to question him
that's the path to peace and freedom
your second point
oh the other point is the not good enough yeah not good enough is another one of those things which cup here in many people's my consciousness
not good enough is a good enough
those of these rich appear especially in minds or that wanna do good if there's a deep wish to do good and what good in the best thing that most good thing is to free beings from suffering that's somewhat some people feel is the ultimate good is to free beings from suffering
that's good but so then if that's good than am i doing enough good
the question might arise it's a normal question
to arise like i'm paying attention to the suffering but it is my attention good enough that's a not normal thing but when that question arises that's another thing to practice compassion towards
i've heard pitch a thousand times i've heard people say is it good enough i feel like it's not good enough that question naturally comes up for people who are trying to practice good
when that question arises or when the statement it's not good enough for rises
don't question if that question is dealt with compassionately i'm not saying it makes it good enough i'm saying that can that compassion towards the statement this is not good or not that compassion is the practice
we start by being compassionate towards the statement this is not good enough to be compassionate towards the question is this good enough though should be dealt with with compassion then they won't be karmic hindrances and we can awaken to them
awaken with them you can awaken with the question is this good enough
there can be awakening with the statement this is not good enough
and you can also be awakened to the statement this is good enough that you also get compassion and be examined
that minutes since very much so thank you very much very welcome

or an extortion is from yona

hello wreck law yana and hello great assembly
i feel like i have something arising after your conversation with josh
a good kind of like a continuation or some kind of cause some confusion and and i would like to try to put some words to it and see where i end up
so i'm at the present there's a lot of time in my life and sewing the afternoons i i sit in my kitchen and i notice that and
this little story we're we're studying the the third turning of the wheel in my study group and i remember the story where
that's azuki roach said to somebody that don't you ever say that you are doing season or that you are practicing meditation
and and also i think in the same chapter does something about receiving life
instead of doing or or being in life could kind of ina or maybe more as the south sort of driving it
and i've noticed that am quite often this comes and it seems like there sir
there's a change sort of in the intention in the practice
i think i have something i'd like to say before you finish if i may yes so the way i understand says cover she sang don't say
i do compassion i mean some don't say i do zazen the way i understand that is if you have this thought in your mind
like i do zazen
don't say that look at that thought and see how silly that is
ideas if you look at or i have to start high desert
a sergeant not something as small enough for me to do is hot as as and has done by me together with everyone so i think the and and standard today is don't say that examine that thought before you express it
but that person said to him out loud i do zazen in sucre she said don't say i do zazen he i think he said don't say you desire to predicament don't say i do zazen
i practice zazen
zazen is not something done by the self
it's done together with all beings
i agree however
i am i'm saying today please examine that thought i'd use him
yes and and what i wanted to come to was that if those days where it seems like i can settle into somehow receiving practice rather then buries young mother has a new passion to do practice there's a big flip and there
a big change in it and there's a settling down on in the practice where there is a big change and it almost feels like it's like a completely
yeah it's it's kind of from it some something different happens and quite often there is a at the present there seems to be like or a settling in where i end up kind of being or hanging in there
man and and as a quieting down and and and there is a process taking place that i can't grasp or there is just something but but the thing that my question was is that am
at the moment i feel like you you were speaking in one place about how actually i asked you this question a long time ago how we do things in the conscious mind and that transforms the sub conscious but somehow it feels like when this receiving or the practice is taking place
there is a transformations taking place straight away but i don't often know or understand what it is but maybe the next day i will realize that there is some insights are very some understanding
that has come from it maybe
from that practice and or being able to receive
the practice and
the question i had was that am
i feel like a lot of words and constructs that i've had in my mind our are
it's like i don't understand what they mean anymore like subconscious or conscious but still there seems like ah i don't know

there ceased like there's a beach curiosity about that place
that arises
there is like a ah a curiosity and and
i kind of i want to do practice because i'm really curious about this that's taking place and it also seems that the wish that you were speaking about a about wanting to do the practice for others or for am sharing it with others
somehow arises in that place
and that may be makes me want to do practice more
but my ah
yeah maybe i don't have a question at all
i can just continue like this
very good very good great curiosity

our next offering is from dc
hi i
my offering is
really privileged to hear your teachings and to listen to or the people sure am and so i feel a lot of gratitude and i also feel like i'm experience in a
love synchronicity around different issues from mental health i'm to disappointment and reconciliation and and i can really identify with so
so much of what has been sad and something that i experience in my practice is something a by observing and be aware of the one those bearing witness house
have a difficult and distressing are joyful and experience may be i'm aware of this one that bears witness to that
at the same time i spend a lot of time by myself and in silence and i'm still find in after many years that i have a tendency
to spiral into a catastrophe rising and really be come in
encompassed by that and i think
i think i would like
may i ski for some encouragement
to not lose hope when that happens again and again and
so i heard you say that catastrophizing has been observed
prepac catastrophizing has been witnessed
and i also heard you say something about the thought how can i not lose hope
i would suggest that the same witnessing of catastrophe facing
not didn't i say wish the same witnessing of catastrophizing the given to the wish to not lose hope
i'm not saying i'm not saying get rid of the wished to not lose hope or get rid of the wish to have home
if there's a wish to have hope i i would encourage witnessing that wish to have hope the same way that i witness catastrophizing
catastrophizing is a common event in karmic consciousness i wish to have hope
is a common event and kind of consciousness i'm recommending bearing witness to to those two and everything else
bearing witness to the wish
during wish bearing witness to the wish to not lose hope that's what i'm recommending
the wish to have hope or the feeling that that love lost hope may arise
despair is another word for losing hope
i'm not trying to get rid of despair
i'm not trying to get rid of hope
i'm trying to encourage and remember
compassionately witnessing despair compassionately wishing we witnessing hope compassionately witnessing catastrophizing
that witnessing then can lead to a clear and observation
and more witnessing and more witnessing and then finally wisdom of understanding catastrophism and understanding despair and understanding hope
yes really
that feels
really nurturing thank you
the i agree it's nurturing
thank you welcome

our next offering is from oscar
thank you read
and master
i feel like i'm repeating story
the project with governing branches
i feel like amazon a word from another document
so on
i also appreciate all of the deal witnessing have heard last a couple hours
i recently had an experience with karma consciousness who is
on this particular occasion i was in bed about three thirty this morning
would have preferred to been asleep but i was engaging with karma consciousness and i'm trying to study it in my observation was that
the cosmic consciousness appropriated the study process
ah says ended up and can circular oh
circular process
said some point or n and there was no and this karma consciousness involved also some ill feeling towards another being sent yeah thing and it was aware of that and
and didn't wish to perpetuate that but it was there and
so at some point i gave up that mode of study
which was karnak
and ah
and of let myself i'll say so to speak
engage with them with the felt sense of what was going on
without any ideas about it
and and the felt sense was ah
to put it into words which don't really work but it had to do it but if there was an impression of a very large massey dark
presence kind of like a mountain
ah dark mountain and and or just relax into that for a while and i fell back asleep and and and i woke up with some that with some useful thoughts about the situation nothing
so i i just report that and and ah my question is
you know you'd recommend a course i'll try that and on doing that
did you have any thoughts on that are and i island by saying at one point you gave me some excellent advice which is don't come to conclusions
which i perpetually talked to try to do
so i asked the question also in that frame
thank you very much for your teaching through
so not come to conclusions means continue to study
yeah so i encourage you to continue to study this comic conscious these kind of consciousness is that are given to us
thank you very much michelle

when your next offering is from leslie
hi everyone
mostly ivan
an offering on just thank you today it was quite moved by everybody and and and also very thankful i
attended your tuesday talk and i have a confession i was so confused i fell asleep
and then i vow today to stay awake be awake it's easier in the morning of
and i'm so grateful because i i heard everything
it means alive and then i especially wanted to think allison
about this looking at be trail and just had a moment this morning have fabulous tenants and then they keep putting plastic in the compost when they moved in i said
just pleased off the plastic in the complex
and then i keep finding it i was gonna make a story out of and tell friends decide that this one tenant is a bad guy he put plastic and compose niger smile
start like to say i mean let's figure something out because whenever we talked about his work and it was kind of similar to what alice mostly just thinking
thank you

my next offering is from maggie

hello rep
hello maggie
nice to see you and very great for to hear your teaching today
so do to share and also to ask my questions and about my practice and
to put it in the town tax do you have
mentioned today
it is it is the teaching and put a station that is studying the atomic consciousness
there are many tuitions of course earn so with me and these days it is the kitchen of a dependent colorizing that is studying
the comic consciousness
often in the same context that yana as mentioned the m i am part of the study group of this they're turning up the wheel
and ah so
i'm going back to the contexts
that sure is also be set don't say that you're doing zazen and later on
i remember you also had a comments that we're not doing and nobody is doing
a buddhists buddhism or meditation but everybody is receiving that receiving as receiving meditation
this is for me very inspiring and because it's an it's is it looks like it's it's from another is from the perspective of the of the universe and
on the on people or individual were when we were we were saying i am dependent on everybody else
and everybody else's dependent on us
so this is a this is around this is a taken a center of human being the perspective a he remembered if i look look at look at look at it from the perspective of the universe and
i also at a certain point in an a book you mentioned
and the whole universe is
so meditation is a gift from the universe the universe is giving us this gift or or buddha is giving us this gift
instead of we doing it we are receiving this gift
this is very hot for teacher for me in the and in a way that
a my my life and
there are from time to time that i have difficult moment in a was my am familiar relationship am
when my mother asked me something and i know that i'm going to say no to her and it's always an app it's always at an intensive moment m
every time i
it's a big houses it it is a big job for me to am to prepare myself to be able to respond to my mother
so this this preparation process
is my big practice right now and
from to yes even yesterday and today am
then i was thinking about this teach and i tried to bring the station to to my preparation process
my i could feel that my whole body was tensed up every time you every time when this happens that i need to respond with a no then am today i was contemplating this
and job of saying no
probably it's a gift from the universe that
iris i received this gift and i just need to present it and the test up
is probably from the imputation of self there is i i there are so many worries around this i how could i respond can i stay friendly can i stay a yeah stay present with loving kindness although i have to say no i'm not
sure i don't have confidence for myself to say compassionate in that difficult conversation that's that's our
makes my body and my my or test up and i'm not relaxed but when i when i tried to contemplative he has the saying no is a gift there is a there's a relaxing relaxation and
suddenly not fully yet that the tension is still there but there are some relaxation
this is this is this is in a in the context of of the three
characters of phenomenon that you wrote in a book
yeah and us awesome you're describing you're describing witnessing your current consciousness
you've told us about various patterns of karmic consciousness
well and i hope i think you you are studying
your a we are witnessing it you're noticing how attachment to your ideas of what to say and what to do create tension you're observing this good
but and i know next time that there there's always going to be this tension is another yeah new you just said i know next time there's going to beat his dungeon
that's another pattern of cosmic consciousness
and it that you that you can study with the pattern i know there's going to be this tension that's not true that's a delusion
it's arising in your consciousness now to story
and the study is to be compassionate towards that but i know there's gonna be attention in the next time i talk
and you are aware of it but i don't know if you're being compassionate if you're loading compassion come to that thought
the thought was the thought i know i'm gonna be tense again in the next conversation that's not true that's a delusion and cosmic consciousness is their compassion for i pray that there will be i forgot the i just noticed i forgot that's why the thought that
illusion that the very saw that i'm going to have changed next time just at the sword i i had tense up again because the as a backup compassion now
and i don't know what's gonna happen next time you talked to her but right now when you're telling me what's it what it's gonna happen happen if there's compassion for novel
there might be compassion for when it comes up in the next conversation and then when those compassion there can be curiosity and study and relaxation
yeah yeah i'm a new and you you caught it as great you noticed it and i pray that you notice it again and again
and please examine where
everyone was think i so this this idea or the station that and everything is a gift from the universe including the pan including saying no
is it really so i
i have faced in the season but i also have found question is another gift
is it really so that's another gift
and if you would think that's not so that would be another gift
and if you think or that really is so that's another gift
so the gifts or not to be like believed as reality there to be stood there their gifts to study everything is a gift to study everything is a gift for your compassion
are not even your compassion everything is a gift which is an opportunity for compassion
the thought this is not a gift
it's another gift i wonder if this is a gift that's another gift
everything is being given to us for compassion everything is calling to us for compassion
including i don't believe that
as another gift
including you're crazy old man
thank you you're welcome
thank you for your karmic consciousness
pete what i think we're a little bit over time now
thank you everybody for your presence new your questions
may our intention to liberate all beings equally extend to every being and place with the true merit and bhutto's way beings are numberless
we wow
afflictions are inexhaustible out to meet them with compassion dharma gates are boneless we vowed to enter them boot away is unsurpassable we out to become the unsurpassed

thank you so much