I'd like to read the beginning of the Lotus Sutra to you. And I'm going to edit it quite a bit. Lest I have heard at one time the Buddha was dwelling in the city of Rajagriha on Gurdiputra mountain together with 12,000 Great bhikshus, all were arhats, their outflows already exhausted, never again subject to anguish. They had achieved their own advantage and annihilated the bonds of existence, and their minds had achieved self-mastery. Their names were Mahakasyapa and so on. And then it goes on to tell more about how great these arhats were.

[01:04]

And then it tells about the great bodhisattvas that were there. And then it tells about various kinds of other groups, like Garuda kings and gives their names, Titan kings, Gandharva kings, and so on. Various kinds of beings were assembled there. A huge assembly was there on Ultra Peak, Vrindrakuta. At that time, the world-honored ones, surrounded by the fourfold multitude, showered with offerings, deferentially treated and revered, for the bodhisattvas' sake, preached a scripture of the great vehicle named the immeasurable doctrine, a dharma to be taught to bodhisattvas, a dharma which the Buddha keeps ever in mind.

[02:22]

When the Buddha had preached this scripture, cross-legged, he entered into the samadhi the absorption in the abode of the immeasurable doctrine, where his body and mind were motionless. At that time, the heavens rained down coral tree flowers, great coral tree flowers, and various kinds of celestial flowers, scattering them all around the Buddha. Various other wonderful things happened. At that time, the Buddha emitted a light from the tuft of white hair between his eyebrows that illumined 18,000 worlds to the east.

[03:27]

omitting none of them, reaching downward as far as the lowest Avicii hells and upwards as far as the highest Akanistha heavens. In all these worlds there could be fully seen the six kinds of living beings in those lands. There could also be seen the Buddhas present in those lands. and the sutra-dharma preached by those Buddhas could be heard. At the same time, there could be seen among those bhikshus, bhikshunis, upasakas and upasikas who, through practice, had attained the path. Further, there could be seen the various background causes and conditions of the bodhisattva mahasattvas, their various degrees of belief and understanding, and the various appearances which they trod, the various appearances with which they trod the Bodhisattva path.

[04:44]

There could also be seen those Buddhas who achieved parinirvana, perfect extinction. Further, there could be seen how, after the Buddha's parinirvana, a stupa, of seven precious jewels would be erected for the Buddha's relics. At that time the Bodhisattva Maitreya had this thought, now that the World Honored One has shown these extraordinary signs We must ask, for what reason have they happened? What are their portents? Now the Buddha, the world-honored one, has entered into samadhi, silent and still. Whom shall I question about these rare appearances beyond reckoning and discussion?

[05:49]

Who can answer? At that time, the Bodhisattva Maitreya wished to resolve his own doubts. He also considered the thoughts of the four groups, the bhikshus, bhikshunis, upasakas and upasikas, as well as those of the assembled multitudes of gods, dragons, ghosts and the like. Then he questioned the Bodhisattva Manjushri, saying, For what reason do we have these wondrous spiritual signs. A great ray emitted which illumines 18,000 lands to the east, making visible all the adornments of those Buddha lands. Maitreya asked Manjushri because he thought Manjushri

[06:59]

the prince of Dharma, having already approached and served incalculable Buddhas in the past, must surely have seen these signs before. At that time, the Bodhisattva Mahasattva Manjushri said to the Bodhisattva Maitreya, and the sundry great worthies Good people, I surmise that the Buddha, the world-honored one, now wishes to preach the great Dharma, to precipitate the great Dharma rain, to blow the great Dharma conch, to beat the great Dharma drum, to set forth the great Dharma doctrine. You people, once before, In the presence of past Buddhas, I saw this portent.

[08:03]

When the Buddha has emitted this light straight away, he preaches the great Dharma. Thus, it should be understood that the present Buddha's display of light is also of this sort. It is because he wishes living beings to be able to hear and know the Dharma, difficult to believe for all the worlds, that he displays this portent. Good people, it is just as it was, incalculable, infinite, inconceivable, aksapyam heya kalpas ago, At that time, there was a Buddha named Sun and Moonlight Buddha. A thus come one, worthy of offerings, of right universal knowledge, his clarity and conduct perfect, well gone, understanding the world, and unexcelled worthy, a regulator of people of stature, a teacher of gods and people, and a Buddha,

[09:24]

a world-honored one, who expounded the true Dharma, which is good at its beginning, good in its middle, and good at its end. Its meaning, profound and recondite, its words subtle, refined, pure, and without alloy, fully endowed with the marks of pure white Brahman conduct. For the sake of bodhisattvas, this preaching corresponded to the six perfections with which he caused them to gain unsurpassed, complete, perfect enlightenment and to perfect the knowledge of all modes. Then again, there was a Buddha also named Sun and Moonlight Buddha. Then there was again a Buddha also named Sun and Moonlight Buddha.

[10:28]

In this way, there were 20,000 Buddhas, all of them having the same name, Sun and Moonlight, all belonging as well to the same clan. It should be known that the first Buddha and the last Buddha both had the same name. sun and moonlight. Both were fully endowed with the ten subsidiary signs, both preaching that which is well to preach, the Dharma, good at the beginning, the middle and the end. Before the last of these sun and moon glow Buddhas left home, he had eight princely sons, The first having the name having a mind. The second named good mind. The third named inconceivable mind.

[11:32]

The fourth named jewel-like mind. The fifth named superior mind. The sixth named mind free of doubt. The seventh was named echo mind. And the eighth was named dharma mind. These eight princes, each holding sway over four heavenly spanning realms, were men to whom regal bearing came quite naturally. At that time, the Buddha's sun and moonlight preached the scripture of the great vehicle named immeasurable doctrine. A dharma taught by to the bodhisattvas, which Buddhas keep in mind. When they preached this doctrine, straight away, in the midst of the great multitude, seated cross-legged, they entered into a samadhi called the palace of immeasurable doctrine, body and mind motionless.

[12:44]

At that time, the gods rained down these jade tree flowers and so on, just as we've seen here today. At that time, the thus come one emitted a glow from the tuft of white hair between his eyebrows and illumined 18,000 Buddha lands to the east, omitting none of them, just like the Buddha lands now visible. Maitreya, be it known that at that time in the assembly there were two thousand million bodhisattvas who wished to listen to the Dharma. These bodhisattvas, seeing this light emitted and illuminating the whole Buddha land and gaining something they had never seen before, wished to know the reason for this glow, for this light.

[13:50]

At that time, there was a Bodhisattva named Sublime Light who had 8,000 disciples. The Buddha, Sun and Moon Light Buddha, rising from his samadhi through the Bodhisattva Sublime Light, preached the great vehicle scripture named the Lotus Flower of the Sublime Dharma. a dharma to be taught to bodhisattvas, which Buddhas keep in mind. For sixty minor kalpas, not rising from his seat, at that time those assembled listened also and sat in one place for sixty minor kalpas, motionless in body and mind, listening to the Buddha's teaching as if for the space of a meal. At this time,

[14:52]

There was none, not one person within the assembly who felt weariness, whether in body or in mind. The Buddha, sun and moonlight, having preached this scripture for sixty minor kalpas straight away in the midst of the multitude, proclaimed these words, this day at midnight I will enter into Nirvana with no residue. At that time there was a Bodhisattva named Womb of Excellence. The Buddha's sun and moonlight straight away conferred upon this Bodhisattva the prophecy Announcing to the Bhikshus, this Bodhisattva, womb of excellence, shall next become a Buddha named Pure Body.

[16:00]

When the Buddha had conferred this prophecy, he then, at midnight, entered nirvana with no residue. After the Buddha's passing into extinction, the Bodhisattva, sublime light, kept the scripture of the lotus flower of the sublime Dharma for full 80 minor kalpas and expounded it to others. The eight sons of the Buddha's sun and moonlight all placed themselves under the tutelage of sublime light. Sublime Light's instruction enabled them to solidify their complete, unsurpassed, and perfect enlightenment. These princes, having made offerings to hundreds of thousands of myriads of millions of Buddhas, all accomplished the Buddha path. The last to achieve Buddhahood was named Torchbearer, Dipankara Buddha.

[17:08]

Among the 8,000 disciples of the Bodhisattva sublime light, there was one named Seeker of Fame, who craved advantage and profit, who, though he read and committed to memory a multitude of scriptures, derived no profit from them, completely forgetting most, for which reason he was called Seeker of Fame. This man also, since he had planted roots of goodness, was able to meet incalculable hundreds of thousands of myriads of millions of Buddhas, to make offerings, to revere and honor them, and to praise them. Maitreya. Maitreya Bodhisattva.

[18:18]

the next Buddha, be it known, at that time, the Bodhisattva sublime light, could he have been anyone else? I myself am he, and you, yourself, are the Bodhisattva fame-seeker. We see these portents now just as we saw them before. For this reason, I surmise that the Buddha will this day preach the scripture of the great vehicle named the lotus blossom of the sublime Dharma, a Dharma to be taught to bodhisattvas, one which the Buddhas keep in mind. I can't help but comment, I didn't intend to, but Maitreya Bodhisattva, the next Buddha, used to be called Fame Seeker.

[19:33]

He worked hard and memorized, he tried to memorize scriptures and he couldn't remember anything. But he got a chance to serve all these Buddhas and meet all these Buddhas, and now he has become the great Bodhisattva Maitreya. Now, one thing it doesn't say here is that Shakyamuni Buddha, the Buddha who's teaching in this scripture, in a past life, served many Buddhas but in one particular life when this Buddha in this story the last of the eight sons who became Dipankara Buddha when that Dipankara Buddha was teaching in his assembly was Shakyamuni who was not Shakyamuni at the time but that Dipankara Buddha that Torchlight Buddha predicted

[20:41]

just as this Sun and Moonlight Buddha predicted upon his death, that Shakyamuni would be, that this young man would become Shakyamuni Buddha. So, this light that Shakyamuni Buddha is emitting in the Lotus Sutra was transmitted to him by Dipankara Buddha. And Dipankara Buddha It was transmitted to him by Sun and Moonlight Buddha. So in the grand vehicle presentation of the Buddha, this light is what has been transmitted from Sun and Moonlight Buddha to Flaming Torch Buddha to Shakyamuni Buddha. This light goes out from between the eyebrows to the eastern direction and illumines 18,000 Buddha lands completely from the highest heaven to the lowest hell and shows everything.

[21:49]

But of course the way it illuminates it is it shines out to the 18,000 Buddha lands and just it shines from their back. It doesn't just go out, it goes out and returns. So, that took a long time, so it's almost time to stop. No, we can sit for 16 minutes. Think for yourself. motionless without the slightest weariness so I brought this cup

[23:20]

I brought this bowl and I asked the question, what is this light? Holding this bowl in my hand, I say to you, the light is this bowl when you leave this bowl alone. Or the light is not even the bowl, but it is the seeing of the bowl, and nothing more than that. It's not the light that comes from the sun, bounces off the bowl and into your eye. That's light too. But the light which we're talking about here is the light which is from us simply leaving things alone.

[24:28]

Picking it up, here's a bowl. The light comes when I make my mind a wall. I make my mind like a wall. A wall between this cup and all imagination about it. A wall which lets this cup which appears in our life under the auspices of our lunch, our eyes, the potter, and the sun. That cup. When we know this cup, what we know is simply an image. It's empty, but there it is, appearing as it is. Simultaneously, there is a mind capacity to attribute something to that cup.

[25:41]

As soon as anything's attributed to this bowl, everything's dark. When this wall or when this separation between this cup and all imaginations about it is realized, that is the light. The light is this bowl before you have a chance to say anything about it. The light is your mind, is your experience, before you attribute anything to it. This light illumines 18,000 Buddha lines to the east. This can be demonstrated.

[26:59]

I once saw a I went to a training for tea teachers once and a visiting tea teacher from Japan was there and he was in the room with the other tea teachers and he was watching them and giving some comments as they performed the tea ceremony he was teaching them And at the end of the teaching session, there was a little time left over. So people didn't know what to do, so they thought, well, or he thought, well, I'll do it. So he did the ceremony. And he did the simplest, most beginning ceremony. which is really what everyone most wanted him to do, to see how he would do the most simple thing, the thing that everyone does. And he did it.

[28:07]

And as you might guess, he looked completely ordinary. He didn't look better than most of the other tea teachers. He didn't look worse. I didn't notice anything. But my tea teacher said afterwards, he was just the tea ceremony. Prajnatara said, this poor wayfarer does not dwell in the realm of body, mind, when breathing in.

[29:39]

Does not get involved in myriad circumstances when breathing out. being totally devoted to breathing in with the whole body and mind totally devoted to breathing in without dwelling in that body and mind totally devoted to breathing in when breathing in with whole body and mind and then not dwelling in that body-mind. The more we don't dwell, the brighter the light.

[30:50]

Totally committing ourselves to this action, to this breathing body. Without dwelling, The body is filled with radiance. Just like this teacup. To totally let the teacup be the teacup without dwelling in it. The more you don't dwell in it, the brighter it gets. Hejo says, trust everything to the breathing and then throw body and mind into the womb of light. Throw body and mind into the womb of light means not dwelling in body and mind.

[32:00]

Not dwelling in body and mind is how you throw yourself into the womb of light. Not dwelling in body and mind. Entering the womb of light and dying. Dying means you're willing to live. Now there's two things I want to talk about.

[33:43]

One I want to talk about is I want to go back over case 14 again, the story of Deshan. I want to tell you more about Deshan and what happened between him and the attendant. But I also want to tell you about a Zen teacher I met named Mumon Roshi. And I can't decide which to do first because I probably can't do both. I'll do this one. So we already know that he was a very intense scholar of the Diamond Sutra, and he was going to go down from East China into South China and destroy the Zen devils.

[34:52]

On the way, he got cut down by an old lady at a snack stand, and after that, she referred him to the Zen teacher, Dragon Pond. where we left off last time, he had come to see Dragon Pond. He went into Dragon Pond's temple and said, although I've heard for a long time about Dragon Pond, I don't see a dragon and I don't see a pond. Then Dragon Pond stepped out from behind a screen and said, You have already arrived at Dragon Pond.

[35:55]

Dushan bowed and withdrew. During the night, Dushan entered Dragon Pond's room and stood in attendance till late at night. Dragon Pond said, why don't you go? Deshan bade farewell, lifted up the curtain, and went out. He saw that it was dark outside, so he turned around and said, it's dark outside. Dragon Pond lit a lantern and handed it to Deshan. As soon as Deshan took it, Dragon Pond blew it out Dasan was vastly and greatly enlightened. Excuse me for pointing out the obvious, but Dasan was enlightened when the light went out.

[36:59]

When he first saw the darkness, all he could see was darkness. The second time he saw the darkness, he saw the light. The light he saw was the light which is simply leaving the darkness alone. Darkness itself is light. For a moment, his body and mind were a wall. And he didn't try to make anything out of darkness. He just let the darkness be darkness. If we can let darkness be darkness, that's our job. Upon this enlightenment experience, he immediately bowed to Dragon Pond, who said, what have you seen that you bowed?

[38:11]

Deshan said, from now on, I will never again doubt what's on the tongues of the venerable teachers of this world. The next day, Dragon Pond went up to the teaching hall and said, there is one among you with teeth like a forest of swords and a mouth like a bowl of blood. Even if you hit him with a staff, he won't turn back. Someday he will ascend the summit of a solitary peak and establish my path there. Then Darshan took all his commentaries on the Diamond Sutra out in front of the teaching hall and raised a torch above them and said, even to plumb all the abstruse locutions is like a single hair in a vast void. To exhaust the essential workings of the world is like a single drop of water cast into a vast valley.

[39:19]

Then he burned the commentaries. Later, Deshan heard of the great teacher Guishan. He traveled to Guishan to meet the adept. When he arrived at Guishan, Guishan's the name of the place and the name of the teacher. When he arrived at Guishan, he carried his bundle with him into the teaching hall. Usually when a monk enters a teaching hall, he would take off his backpack put on his robes, and go and pay his respects to the teacher, offering incense and bowing. He didn't do that. He walked right into the teaching hall with his backpack on. Can you imagine that? Somebody coming to Green Gulf with his backpack on, a Buddhist monk, coming in here with his backpack or his suitcases, walking right in here with all of his stuff.

[40:27]

And when he got in the hall, He crossed from the east to the west and from the west to the east. He looked around and said, there's nothing, there's no one, and he went out. But when Deshan got to the monastery gate, he said, still, I shouldn't be so coarse and rude. So he re-entered the hall with full ceremony, taking off his backpack to meet Guishan. As Guishan sat there, Deshan held up his sitting mat. So this is the sitting mat that you carry around. He came in, held up his sitting mat to Guishan, and said, teacher. Guishan, the great teacher, reached for his whisk.

[41:33]

He often reached for his whisk and went like this to people to enlighten them. He reached for his whisk but before he got it, Deshan shouted, shook out his sleeves and left. Shook out sleeves partly because they used to wear these long sleeves, right? So you go like this. You bring your sleeves up to your hands like this. This. And do this. Teacher! He reached for his wrist. He shouted and shook out his sleeves. In other words, pulled him back and left. Deshan turned his back on the teaching hall and Guishan put on his straw sandals and his backpack and departed.

[42:38]

That evening, Guishan asked the head monk, Where is that newcomer that just came? The head monk said, At that time, he turned his back on you in the teaching hall, put on his straw sandals, and split. Oh, said Guishan. After all, that lad will go up to the summit of a solitary peak, build himself a grass hut, and go on scolding Buddhas and reviling patriarchs. That's Darshan in the early part of his outstanding career after the lights went out. Now, that you know Dishon a little bit better, when you hear this story, when you hear this story about him in case 14, you have some background.

[44:22]

The introduction says, carrying a probing pole or a searching pole in his hand and a grass cake. Sometimes he wraps something soft like a cotton ball or a silk ball in iron. As you saw in the early stories, he wrapped the silk ball of the bodhisattva's heart in iron.

[45:29]

Sometimes he wraps something hard which lets darkness be darkness. Sometimes he takes that hard thing and wraps it in silk. It's always been that hardness overcomes softness. But what happens when something soft encounters strength? What happens when weakness encounters strength? So the attendant says, to Darshan, where have all the sages since antiquity gone?

[46:35]

And Darshan says, what? And the attendant says, the order was for a flying dragon horse, but a lame tortoise showed up. And Darshan let it go. Deshan usually thrashed the wind and beat the rain, hollering at Buddhas and ancestors. This month's errors fill the sky. Why did Deshan let him go? What is hardly realized is that Deshan wrestled down oxen without a rope and killed people without using a sword.

[47:43]

How many has he ever let go? This young, this person, this attendant, they say sometimes he's like He's like trying to take a jewel from under a jet black dragon's jaw at the depths of the abyss. Getting there just as the dragon's asleep. If the dragon wakes up, he'll surely be chopped into mincemeat. When I first talked about this story I thought maybe this attendant doesn't know who Darshan is. But another possibility is he knows who Darshan is and he's sneaking into the dragon's cave thinking the dragon's asleep and trying to get by with it.

[49:00]

Try to pull a fast one and grab a jewel and get out without getting hurt. Now I like that one better. I like the idea that he knows that there's a dragon here, but he's going to try to get in and pull one over. This monk's errors are great. I feel that he's really stupid. And he's going to try something which no one else would be so stupid as to try. No one else would try to pull this one on Guishan, on Deshan. Because they know that he can chop them up into mincemeat. But this guy is so stupid as to try this. And as you know, in the stories, where the king or the queen sends out, has three sons.

[50:13]

The first two are pretty good. Smart, strong, and intelligent. Skillful. They go out to get the dragon, and they never succeed. They get lost or gobbled up. But the third son... the stupid son who no one even thinks of sending, who rides off on his horse facing backwards. This son is the one who makes it. And how does he make it? Not by himself, usually, but usually on the way he runs into some old lady who's so ugly that everyone's afraid of her. he doesn't even know she's ugly and sits down and has lunch with her and she slips him a little pill or a little jewel or a little sword or a few words of advice which he can barely remember he's so stupid or even notice that he's received but he goes and he meets the dragon

[51:23]

and he's safe. You got to be stupid in order to see that the light, that the darkness is just darkness. Everybody can think that darkness is something better than darkness, except the most stupid person. So I'm going to tell the story, but why don't you, if you're in pain, why don't you make yourself comfortable or even leave the room? while I carry on.

[52:27]

This is a story about Mumon Yamada. And I just hung up a scroll in my room. And the scroll is his calligraphy. And the calligraphy is one character which says the moon, Chinese character for the moon. which he gave to me one time when I was visiting him. He first came to Zen Center, and I think the first time he came, I think the first time he came, we just, Begroshi and I went to visit him at the Hilton Hotel. We went to see him in his room in the Hilton Hotel.

[53:31]

And he was just, you know, in a regular hotel room there, with his attendant, and we talked to him for a little while. And he wanted to do some calligraphy for us. And he had some calligraphy stuff, some paper and a pen. And he sat on the bed and took the paper in his hand like this, and the pen, and started writing. on the paper doing some calligraphy. But of course the paper was moving around like this, you know. And the calligraphy paper was even softer than regular paper. But he was writing on this paper and did a very nice job. I thought that was really... And also, it was kind of a crowded room, and there was quite a few people in the room, and he was just sort of hopping around the room, very lightly, between the people and around the furniture, getting various things ready to do his writing.

[54:41]

And his lightness, he was quite small, like Suzuki Roshi, and light like that. I think the next time he came to visit, he came to Tassohara. And since he was an important Zen teacher of the Rinzai school, we made a lot of preparations. We actually rebuilt a cabin, cabin five at Tassajara. Pretty much rebuilt it. We put tatami mats in and everything and put a new ceiling on just for his visit. At the time, we thought it was a little bit like the scene from that movie, Trishangura, where they redid all the tatami mats in the palace before the shogun came or something like that. Anyway, it was a big visit and he gave a talk and it was in Japanese and it was translated, but anyway, I didn't notice too much what he said. But afterwards, one person said that what he said was that complaining is confusion.

[55:48]

If you're a bodhisattva, This is a bowl. If you're not a bodhisattva, this is a bowl. What's the difference between a bodhisattva and another bodhisattva? Bodhisattvas don't complain about this. The reason why they don't complain is because they leave it alone. Or, leaving it alone is not complaining. They're just as confused as the next guy. But that's it. They don't complain about the confusion. They don't mull over the confusion. They don't think, well, maybe this is not really confusion. Maybe this is good confusion. Maybe this is true confusion. Maybe this is bad confusion. Bodhisattvas, confusion is confusion and a bowl is a bowl. No complaining. Now there is confusion about confusion.

[57:02]

That's called complaining about confusion. And there's darkness about darkness. That's thinking that darkness is real or unreal. But for darkness to be darkness, that's called not complaining. That's what I remember from his talk. The story of Dushan and the attendant in one sense makes the attendant look sharp and Dushan look weak. In another sense it makes the attendant look really stupid and Dushan being quite friendly and enjoying the attendant, listening to the songs of a child. But the point is, for me, that the story is about the two of them. It's not about Dushan being right or wrong, or the attendant being right or wrong.

[58:06]

It's about those two people doing something together. The next time I went to see Momon Roshi, it was on his birthday in July, in Japan. And we had a feast for his birthday. And they play a game, at his temple anyway, of trying to get the guests to drink as much sake and beer as possible. And his attendants, he had several attendants, would keep coming back again and again. offering sake and beer. And if you didn't drink it, they'd keep pushing you to drink.

[59:09]

And as soon as you'd drink, they'd fill the glass again and push you to drink some more. And they did that very strongly and very cleverly, very skillfully, and got you to do it. Made you feel like you really were rude not to take it. And at one point, Big Roshi leaned over to me and said, if you accept it, they'll leave me alone. So for the sake of the assembled guests, I stopped resisting. I was resisting a little bit because I didn't want to get totally smashed, you know, and spill all these Japanese delicacies all over myself. But I stopped resisting. And I just drank and [...] drank. And at one point after just about finishing my intake, I looked out the window.

[60:12]

I mean, I looked out over the room, out into the, I looked out through the open wall there into the garden. And I thought, here I am sitting in the temple, which was founded by Banke Zenji, another great Zen master. And I've just been fed all this alcohol. This is not my idea of Zen. And then it was time to go. And I stood up. And I walked out. And we got to the parking lot. I noticed, ladies and gentlemen, that I was not the slightest bit intoxicated. The next time I visited him I was the only American in the room.

[61:12]

There was no one to protect me or say that I should protect him. So I was among many Japanese guests. And again, the same thing happened. But they put more pressure on Western people to drink than Japanese people, because I think they want to see if Western people can really drink more than Eastern people. We have a lower tolerance to alcohol, supposedly. Anyway, so they kept giving me the alcohol and the Japanese people get redder and redder. And then at the end of the meal, after doing that for the whole meal, Momon Roshi had his attendants collect all the empty bottles of sake, not empty, all the unused bottles of sake and beer, collected them all together and filled two huge bowls with one full of sake and one full of beer. And I looked at them and I said, in Japanese, umides.

[62:18]

I said, it's an ocean. And he said in English, you must drown. So I drank both bowls. And then he wanted to do some calligraphy where I was sitting. So I had to move, right? So again, I stood up and I walked to the other side of the room and I sat down. I think I drank more this time than the other time. Anyway, I sat there and watched him do calligraphy for a while and then I excused myself and it was a hot summer day again and I walked from West Kyoto to East Kyoto, and from East Kyoto to West Kyoto on a hot summer day. And by the time I got back to West Kyoto again, at the front gate of Myoshinji where I was staying, I was kind of normal.

[63:26]

The next time I visited him, was when he became installed as abbot of Myoshinji. He was already abbot of Bankei's temple, and he was already abbot of another famous temple called Reunin. But then he became abbot of Myoshinji, which means to be abbot of 3,500 temples. So it was a huge ceremony. And the emperor wasn't there, but the emperor's messenger was there. He was on TV. Thousands and thousands of people there. And in this magnificent temple of Myoshinji. And he climbed up on the Dharma seat of the Dharma hall, you know, which is like 20 feet, not 20 feet, 15 feet high or something, sitting up there, this little tiny guy, the great Zen master, the great cultural treasure. And that was that.

[64:32]

And he would always do calligraphy in one of the ways, he'd do the character for longevity quite often, and he'd write at the bottom, I will live to be 99. And then he would laugh. Anyway, he didn't make it to 99. When he was 88, I visited him again. I wasn't intending to visit him. I heard that he had become very old, and they said very old, He's become very old, they say. So I went to see, I went to visit his temple, but I was going to visit his disciple. I didn't expect to visit him because I figured he was in bed. And his disciple said, I want you to come and visit Omon Roshi. And they did something that took a little while. They got him ready. So I went to see him and there he was.

[65:40]

They sat him up in a chair and he had his robes on, but he was kind of propped up in the chair. You know, he would fall over if they didn't kind of prop him up. He was still alive, but... But he was drooling and there was nothing there. And they yelled at him saying, you remember this guy? Nothing. And the next day I came back again in the morning this time. That was in the afternoon. I came back in the morning and again they wanted me to go see him. And it was pretty much the same except this time I talked to him and I talked loudly and I said some things and he was ... something registered and he kind of ... there was something.

[67:07]

It was different. And a few months later he died. But I must say the thought did run through my mind. Even this national treasure, great abbot and great Zen master, comes to this. And what is this? He was the product of a strict Rinzai training and became a great master of the school, perhaps the most noted of his time.

[68:08]

One of the most noted and quite open to Westerners. Very nice person. But still, he got old pretty much like we're getting old. And he drilled pretty much like a baby. So what is the light? And I there, a younger man, there wasn't much of a jewel there that I could see to steal from the dragon. But was there anything more or less than before?

[69:16]

I don't know. I wouldn't say exactly that I was disconcerted by the meeting. It wasn't that, it was... You know, I really felt like this is real. This is real. He really is getting old. He really is drooling. And he really is Mumon Roshi. And I don't know what's going on. And neither does he. And neither does anybody else. We don't know what's going on. When the old ladies come in the room and talk to him and cry,

[70:24]

That's maybe easier to think, oh, I know what's going on there. This is old ladies crying when they see their old teacher in that state. It's easier to understand. You know, and also when Shakyamuni Buddha was old, he had back problems. And sometimes he couldn't give his talks. He had to lie down and have Ananda talk for him. Maybe you people don't have this problem, but I do somewhat, that I sometimes think, you know, when you get enlightened, you're not going to drool anymore. Your mind's not going to get sort of washed away by the chemistry of aging. Or something like that.

[71:27]

Making too big a deal out of it. So I ask again, when the great white wave comes crashing in, what are you going to do? How are you going to take care of yourself? When your body chemistry gets all rearranged, How are you going to handle yourself? Well, you know what the recommendation of Ejo is and what the recommendation of Prajnatara is. Dedicate yourself completely to your breathing in and breathing out and don't dwell in this rotting corpse. also don't dwell in this recovering corpse or this healthy body or this body which has just been jacked up a little bit by some caffeine and seems to be going in the opposite direction of old age for a few moments.

[72:41]

Ah, youth has returned. In other words, as they say on TV now even, go for the light. or go for the light. And remember, that light is not the light that gets brighter when a thousand suns appear, and it doesn't get darker when the electricity goes off. It is the indestructible light of things as they are. So let's go for it. Maybe this is one thing that you can be totally devoted to.

[73:48]

Maybe. And not necessarily forever, but at least moment by moment be totally devoted to this womb of light. And the Buddhas say this is what helps people. Yeah.

[74:25]

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