It will be the seventh day of a seven-day retreat. I thought I would, hopefully, for the benefit of those who have been here all week, And to include those who are coming in just for the day, look over the whole range of people that we've been looking at. Is my level of volume okay in the back? Is that okay? Last Sunday, here, I introduced a kind of... I don't know what it was, I get an image of the principle of practice, which is that when...

[01:26]

completely become themselves they naturally thusly transcend themselves and this is the practice principle but it's also simply the way things are and as I mentioned Someone asked me, well, if things are constantly being thoroughly themselves, and thereby liberating themselves from themselves, what is the need for practice? And there is no need for practice in addition to that. That is practice. Practice is just simply that way things are. that they're being themselves and freeing themselves, liberating themselves.

[02:36]

When a human being participates in this, this is called practice. This is called a way of taking care of your life to be like that. to be dust. This is the teaching of dust. I think I mentioned last week and throughout this week that we would, on the 8th of December, open the eyes of a statue which has been given to us, which you can now see seated here in the center of the room, a statue of Shakyamuni Buddha in the posture of cross-legged sitting and touching the earth.

[04:01]

sitting in front of Manjishri Bodhisattva. And Manjishri is both Buddha's child and Buddha's mother. Buddha is born from infinite compassion, and infinite compassion is the child of Buddha. So yesterday, I took a beautiful statue that belongs to a person named White Buffalo, and put the statue of Manjushri, of infinite compassion, in Buddha's hand, so we could see that infinite compassion, infinite wisdom, is the parent of Buddha, and Buddha is the parent of infinite wisdom. On the 8th of December, we did a ceremony to open the eyes of Buddha, and one of the things we do to open the eyes of Buddha is chant a mantra,

[05:07]

And the mantra is, eyes of compassion observe sentient being. Assembling happiness in ocean beyond measure. Eyes of compassion observing sentient being. Assemble blessings in ocean beyond measure. eyes of compassion, observing penchant beings, assemble an ocean of virtue beyond measure. Seven times, and the Buddha opens the eyes. This can also be done for bodhisattvas of various kinds, too. When Buddha's eyes are opened, Buddha, of course, sees Buddha. And in order to see Buddha, one recommendation is to practice all virtues, be upright, honest, or straightforward, gentle, and flexible.

[06:39]

Those who are Those who practice all virtues, are upright, straightforward, honest, gentle and flexible, will see the Buddha. The mantra, eyes of compassion, observing, attention, being, is saying the same thing as what I just said.

[07:43]

The eyes of compassion are opened and see Buddha. How are they opened? By practicing all virtues. How do you practice all virtues? Practicing all virtues means To enter the mud, the mire, in order to help those who are stuck there. To enter the mud and get dirty, in order to help those who are in the dirt. To enter the water and get wet, in order to help those who are drowning. Enter the mud of your own interpsychic stuff. Enter the mud of the, oh no, your own, it's intrapsychic, right? Enter your intrapsychic stuff.

[08:49]

And then enter the mud of interpersonal stuff. Entering all these situations, intrapsychically and interpersonally, this is called practicing all virtues. This is called entering your life. And then when you get there, don't just, you know, hit your head against the wall, although that may be part of what happened. But when you get there, be upright. Don't be a little bit ahead of your mud. Don't be a little behind your mud. Don't be a little bit to the right of what's happening to you inwardly. Don't be the little bit left of what's happening to you interpersonally. Be right there with what's happening. And in order to be there, uprightly,

[10:00]

You need to practice other all virtues. You need to practice patience, for example. You need to practice giving. You need to practice ethics. You need to practice enthusiasm. You need to practice concentration. You need to practice input. in order to straightforwardly exist in the midst of these situations. Just throwing yourself into the mud is a kind of enthusiastic thing to do. So just getting in there in the first place is kind of practicing enthusiasm. And also giving your body and mind over to what's happening is already practicing giving.

[11:02]

but it's not necessarily practicing patience. When you get in these situations, they're often painful, especially the interpersonal one. Patience is part of what helps you settle and not cringe and shrink back from the pain of our relationships and not rush ahead of them, hoping that we can leave them behind, but to sit there and feel what it's like to feel the temperature of the mud the texture the smell perhaps even the taste the pressure the sound and the color And to feel in your mind all the mental reactions to the mud of your own existence and your relationship to others.

[12:13]

And in order to do this, you need to be gentle and flexible. Another notion to help us do this work that we've been walking around this week is the notion of an infinitely gentle, infinitely suffering thing. It seems to me at this point that in order to settle into this place, which is the essence of our life, the essence of our life is being willing to be what we are, having that much compassion to be who we are.

[14:00]

And that essence of our heart or our mind is ultimate or infinite loving kindness and infinite compassion. But in order to settle into that place, we must be infinitely gentle. In order to really settle down into that place, we must be infinitely gentle. And that place is infinitely suffering because as we are infinitely gentle and settle into our place, that place becomes itself. By infinite gentleness, we can become completely ourself. And then as soon as we become completely ourself, In one sense, we're relieved, but in another sense, our self is taken away from us.

[15:11]

We lose it. Settling in hurts. Because as long as there's the slightest separation between ourselves and ourselves, ourselves and others is hurt. And since there's infinite others, it's infinite suffering. And each suffering requires a gentle adjustment. Roughly pushing ourselves into this won't work. We'll just recoil. We'll just cringe, shrink back, or rush ahead, or lean to the right or left to avoid. We won't be upright if we're not gentle. Even gritting yourself is a bit of a kind of a shrinking or rushing ahead to completely relax into the situation.

[16:12]

Someone told me that at the beginning of the Sashin, what he adopted for his practice was to as an expression of his love. And when the pain got strong, what he did was he remembered that his sitting was an expression of love. And that was the best way he had ever found to adjust and deal with the pain. One of the most compassionate then-teachers in China went to his teacher, who was another one of those most compassionate teachers, and said, teacher,

[19:09]

morning time, and I'm going to go away now. The teacher said, where are you going? And he said, I'm going off on pilgrimage to deepen my practice. And the teacher said, what's the purpose of going on pilgrimage to deepen your practice? And the monk said, I don't know. And the teacher said, this non-knowing is most intimate. And the wording used for intimate is also sometimes

[20:14]

translated as, can be translated as kindness, although it's usually translated as intimate or closest. Closest. But it, it means also kindness. Not knowing it, closest. to the Buddha, to this place of infinite suffering, to this non-abiding place, which is so much itself that it's infinitely gentle. It's so gentle that nothing can know it. It's so gentle that there's no knowing there.

[21:19]

There's no clamping down on it and making it into something that can be known. Because it's infinite suffering. Although it cannot be known, it is nonetheless the essence of our heart. Although we cannot know the essence of our heart, not knowing it is the closest we can get. And we can get so close that there's no separation. And we can get so connected that there is separation. This word, which means intimate and also means kind, is made of two Chinese characters.

[22:31]

One means intimate, and refers to the intimacy of parent and child. The other means intimate, but also means to cut, or means sharp, or toon, or acute. And it's made of two radicals. One radical is sword, and the other one looks like a cross. Looks like the Chinese character for seven. This character means intimate and related. It also means to cut, or slice. Intimacy requires that we can suffer enough and be gentle enough to get down to that place where things are separated, where things are cut, where our mind is cut, where our heart is cut into self and other, and to get down to the place where we are separated from others.

[24:01]

cutting place is the same place where we're intimate. And the first part of our practice then is to temporarily heal that cut, heal that wound in our heart by taking some example of this separation, of this and temporarily uniting it or feeling the wound. We often take self in breath, or mind in breath, or mind in posture. And by sitting, we can see how these things which are rent also

[25:07]

meet and appreciate that can thus verify and realize that the mind is calm always and enjoy that peace and that tranquility and that composure and then when that's sufficiently deep and wide and blissful to then look again at the cut and in looking at the cut to appreciate the two sides of the cut and to start to feel the pain and the agitation of the separation just a little and from this calm place to study the painful pain the painful cut in our heart which is unavoidable because of the way we speak.

[26:11]

To reactivate our thinking, which separates self and other, subject and object, mind and body, just a little and study it. And to study it thoroughly. In other words, get into the mud. To study it clearly and to study it with patience, to give ourselves entirely to it, to be enthusiastic about being in the field of self in all other things. be in the field of delusion, because this is a delusion, this separation.

[27:14]

This is the mod of delusion. And there is suffering associated with it. It is the basic definition of suffering. By studying this situation thoroughly, one finally sees Buddha. By entering this situation and being upright there and gentle and flexible, one sees Buddha in the mud, in every speck of mud, in every speck of pain.

[28:35]

because Buddha is sitting in the middle of this infinite pain and infinite gentleness. I heard that things come into us sometimes, that we have trouble protecting information that comes in in a peripheral vision. So a lot of good music, not music, but movie producers or directors work the edge of the screen a lot. And they do things at the edge of the screen to send the messages which people are usually defending again. Because

[29:37]

peripheral vision, people aren't so defensive, which is one of the reasons why home videos are sometimes not as moving, because the smaller screen doesn't get in your peripheral vision. If you walk directly at this place and try to look directly at Buddha or directly at the suffering of your life, Your defenses may, you know, keep you away from it. So walking around it is nice because you can look at it out of the corner of your eye. Walking around it means, well, actually, it means not backing away and not grabbing it. You don't want to grab this infinite suffering. But also you don't want to run away from it.

[30:42]

I mean, I say you don't want to, but probably most people do want to, but that's not the point here. So we walk around it. We walk around it. And the way we walk around it is by not moving. Funny way to walk around things, but that's the way we do it. Just sitting still is a way to walk around it. Another theme that I introduced, I don't know if I introduced it last Sunday or it was Monday, but it was just a couplet through Shakespeare, which I thought was very applicable, and that was to give yourself away.

[32:07]

I said, keep yourself still. But actually, what Shakespeare said was to give yourself away yourself still. But I like both ways. To give yourself away, keep yourself still. In other words, you can hear it as an instruction. If you want to give yourself away, if you want to make yourself available, if you want to give yourself to all living beings, and also if you want to give yourself away In the idiom of revealing yourself, keep yourself still. Exhibit yourself to all being. Keep yourself still. Don't move around too much so they can get a good look at you and they can find out who you are.

[33:09]

And also, you can find out who you are. To reveal yourself to yourself. To give yourself away to yourself. to show yourself who you are. Keep yourself still. So both in revealing yourself and donating yourself, keep yourself still. But another way to hear it is, not to hear it, but the way it says it is, keep yourself still. So when you give yourself away, you get to keep yourself. The other one is, if you give yourself away, that giving away, that's how you keep yourself still. Usually people think, oh, I'm going to get myself to be still. But it's kind of a common idea that to give yourself away would keep you still, would make you immovable.

[34:15]

But I like that because Giving is actually getting still. He said, to give yourself away, keep yourself still. You must live drawn by your own sweet skill. Keep yourself still. You reveal yourself to yourself. Once you see who you are, then you can live your life. Then you can use your human capacity appropriately. Until we know ourselves, the full flowering of our ability, the full flowering of our gift, is not possible.

[35:26]

does not mean we shouldn't try now to give our gifts. But if we really want to appropriately use our abilities, use our capacities, use our gifts as human beings, in order to do that appropriately, we need wisdom. We need to know ourself. To keep yourself still, you will reveal yourself. You will give yourself away to yourself. And then you can live by your own sweet skill. Then you can do the appropriate thing to help people. This will be the full flowering of your ability. So I... what I want to do, I want to tell you that I think that I'd like you to just take a moment for a while and either be still and watch yourself giving away or think about giving yourself away and see if it makes you still.

[36:55]

When you first think of giving yourself away, you'll probably feel agitated. And in particular, I was thinking of giving some of your money away. And as I mentioned last week, a lot of people here with Siddhi Faisin do not bring money into the meditation hall when they come to sit. So, I know you don't have... I wouldn't be surprised if nobody had... I'd put it the other way. I'd be surprised if anybody had any money in their pocket. We've been sitting in Sashim. But I'd like you to think, and you people have paid for the Sashim, too, already. You know, that's enough. Don't worry. We're not going to ask you, we're not increasing the price of admission. But I'd like you to consider giving yourself away. And it doesn't have to be money, but I would suggest you, first of all, consider it in terms of just regular money, American money.

[37:56]

Just try that out. Just contemplate giving some of your money. And then watch that relationship between thinking of giving your money away and does that make you feel more still? Or does it agitate you? And what I kind of would like you to see is as you contemplate giving things away but you still haven't given it away, you're still holding on. But that probably makes you agitated. But at the point, if you think of something that, think of the amount of money that you could give, that you really feel good about giving. Like, I don't know what that would be, you know. I thought myself this morning, I feel actually, I feel definitely, myself, good about giving a dollar. I mean, I have no problem giving a dollar. And when I think of the giving of the dollar, and I think when I do actually write down, I do write a dollar.

[39:03]

When I write down, I pledge to give a dollar. When I put the dollar in, I'm going to watch and see if when I give, that makes me feel still and present. I'm going to watch and see. But before watching, I've already contemplated and I've checked, and I don't get too upset at the idea of giving a dollar. And then I thought, well, how about five? And I got a little upset. So I'm going to work out that space between one and five dollars myself to see if I can give. I know one's okay. I'm going to see if I can give five and really give it and then see if I feel still in that giving. And I'm also going to try it the other way of being still and see if when I feel still, in that stillness, I feel like, hey, fine, five. And so I'd like the people in the Sashin who weren't expecting to happen and all for the people who come here to think about that.

[40:13]

Now, one problem with thinking about it is I'm talking, so I'm sorry to detract you from this concentration, but after you leave the room, you can think about it out in the grass and stay in the parking lot for a while. I don't care where you put the money. You can give it to each other. You can leave it in somebody else's car. You can give it to the told person as you go over the bridge and tell them to take the person behind you. I don't care where you give it. I would just like you to take the opportunity to help the world by practicing giving. I don't care where the money goes. I really don't. I would just like the stuff to get flowing and for everybody to enjoy that this money flowing That you, that giving yourself away, although it seems like a movement, actually realizes it's still good. And I'd like you to look the other way, too, and see if when you're still, you have any problem giving yourself away.

[41:15]

So, today, to whatever extent there's a question and answer, I would do it here, so if anybody has any... you'd like to discuss or questions you'd like to ask you can do it now yet Michael there's certain things you feel more comfortable giving money to? How does that fit into this? He said there's certain things he feels more comfortable about giving money to. Could you give us an example, please? You feel more comfortable giving $5 to a homeless person on the street than somebody who...

[42:29]

think to be not homeless. And what do you do about that discomfort of giving to the person who doesn't seem to need it as much? Is that what you're asking? The comfort of giving to the homeless person is not a problem, right? Right, that's important. When you think about the object, that has an effect. For example, if you think about giving the money to yourself, that makes a difference. Or if you think about giving money to your own children, that makes a difference.

[43:30]

So the object makes a difference. Giving yourself away, basically, is that you do not think of the object. As long as you're thinking of the object, you're still not giving yourself away. The funny rule, it's kind of ironic, is that when Buddhist monks go out begging, they're not supposed to choose the place they beg. They're supposed to beg from house to house, neighborhood to neighborhood. Now, you might think, that means they're not supposed to just go to the rich neighborhoods. They're also supposed to go to the poor neighborhood. But one monk had the problem in the other direction. He only went to the poor neighborhood. In other words, the point is to not be concerned with where you're going to get the most money. The point is you're giving the people the opportunity to give you money because it's meritorious for them to give you money. So you don't take away the merit from rich people by not going to their house and letting them give you. And of course you don't take away the merit from poor people.

[44:33]

Now, poor people can't give you as much, probably. They don't have as much resources. They can't give you as much material anymore. But you still go there, and for them to give you a little bit with joy is very meritorious to them. So, giving yourself away, when you really sit still, the giving yourself away that you give away is you no longer would think of the object. Or you would think of the object, but when you are still with yourself, you can give... The object doesn't stop you anymore. Now, there's another factor, which I mentioned the other day, is that sometimes people ask for things, but if they won't give it to themselves, sometimes you can't give it to them. That's another factor. More complexity. You can't. You just can't give it, because they won't give it to themselves. Did you say that sometimes you give things away and then sometimes you take them back?

[45:57]

Right. Right. Well, that Great that you said that. I think a lot of us probably can identify with that. I've had that experience myself. I remember quite recently I was at a store, and a person gave me too much change, and I said, oh, you know, I walked a little ways and realized, you know, I was some distance from the cash register, too, you know, and I realized that I'd gotten too much change, and then I walked back and gave the person the extra money back, and she said... good. And then I walked out again, but then by the time I reached the street, I kind of regretted giving it to her. Anyway, that's my problem, right? I couldn't get it back because it wasn't mine anywhere then. So I thought, I can identify with that, okay? Anyway, that's called Maybe you and I didn't really... See, what might have been better for me to do is to go out in the street and just stand there for a little while and just sit still on the street.

[47:14]

And then really think about whether I really wanted to give it back, whether she's going to say that the world is a better place if there's more people like me or not. Just sit there and think. Just sit there and contemplate and be still. and then see if it arises in me to give myself away. This is now my money, in a sense, to give this away, regardless of the object, regardless of the store, how rich the store is. And then maybe I decide, hey, I don't want to give it. But look at that place to see if giving it away really settles with you, really sits with you, or not. If it does, it doesn't matter so much what they do afterwards. One of our ancestors in this lineage, his name originally was Aryadeva, which means, what do you call it, noble divinity, noble divine one.

[48:22]

He was quite a standing creature. And his teacher was Nagarjuna, who... is also a great teacher in our lineage. And one time Nagarjuna, his teacher, got invited to a debate. And he said, you can go to the debate for me. But on the way, you may be asked to give something. If you give it and have no regret after you give it, you will get it back. This is the principle. If you give something and have no regret, you will get it back. We can sometimes say a thousand times fold or double. But anyway, you get it back and you get it back better than what you got.

[49:26]

The more you give, the more you get. That's the principle. I haven't heard of any religious person, any sage of any part of the world that has not confirmed this. The more you give, the more you get. The more merit you get, the healthier you get, etc. Anyway, he said, if you give it away and don't regret, you'll get it back. I don't know if he told him, don't regret, or I don't know if he told him, be sure to give, but anyway, he told him that. So he was walking along and sure enough this guy came up to a blind beggar and said, Great sage, please give me one of your eye. So he took the eye out of his head and gave it to the blind beggar. And he walked on. And as he walked, he heard the beggar grumbling.

[50:29]

And he saw the beggar who, you know, in those days they didn't have the surgical techniques that we have today to transplant eyes. The beggar was quite upset trying to implant the donated eyeball. he got so upset not being able to get it to work in his head that he put it on a stump and smashed it. Arideva, unfortunately, had turned around to see what was the matter. When he saw what the beggar had done with his rather valuable gift, he regretted having given it. Of course, he couldn't get it back now. And in fact, didn't get it back. He never got his eye back. His teacher told him that he would if he didn't regret.

[51:32]

He didn't regret and he didn't get his eye back. His name got changed from noble divinity to one-eyed divinity. So now we call him Kanadaiva instead of Aryadaiva. Kanadeva instead of Aryadaiva. Because he had one eye. As the story goes, it's a happy ending. He never again regretted his gifts. When he gave something, he made sure, especially if it was valuable, that he didn't regret it because we do want our valuable back, let's face it. We don't want to lose anything. On the other hand, if you don't give yourself away, you're going to be constantly upset. You will not be still if you hold on to your stuff. You will be always frightened and upset if you hold on to your stuff.

[52:36]

If you don't give yourself away, you can't be still. But if you're not ready to give yourself away, then just be still. Just practice Zen and you'll be able to give all your money away. Practicing Zen will not make you rich if you really do it, but it will make you able to give away all your stuff, which will not make you poor and will not make you rich, although people will bring you lots of stuff, which you will immediately give away. But don't worry, just smelling the stuff as it goes by will keep you alive. People take care of these processed units. You know, they take care of them. They make sure they stay alive because they keep the world flowing. These beings who sit still and receive gifts and give them away.

[53:36]

We have all been given gifts. Everything we have is a gift. It's supposed to be given away. All of it. If you want to give it away, if you want to give your life to all sentient beings, sit still. If you want to sit still, give yourself away. I think I'm ready now to give five. See, I had to work myself up into it a little bit. You know? You have to meditate on it for a while until you get into the joy of giving something away. I'm not ready to pretend yet, though. Yes? Yes, you. Yeah. Giving pagan, yeah. Right.

[54:50]

Right. This person actually may walk a few steps away and get in his Cadillac and go home. Definitely. Definitely. Let him take you. That's the point. Give yourself away. Not only give your money, but give your intelligence. Don't even be smart enough to figure out what they're going to do with it. If you want to give yourself away, keep yourself still. If you want to be still and calm and be able to look at reality and be a light, give yourself away. You can work at it from either angle. I prefer to work at it from the stillness myself, but, you know, from working up to the general elasticity part, too.

[55:53]

Yes? If you think while you give it away that you're going to keep it, it's not giving it away. You have to, like, actually at that time, take the leap and, like, give it away. Like, pull the eye out of your head and give it. Not like, well, okay, it's staying there, so I'm not really going away. That's why, you know, you have to actually give it away. It isn't that you keep it, actually. It comes back to you. It goes around a circle. It comes back to you. You give a dollar and somebody gives you, you know, something better than that later.

[56:57]

Somebody else, people hear about you giving it and then they say, yeah, like, you know, however it happens. It happens in millions. You can't figure out how it happens. You know, I guess a fully enlightened Buddha can see how it works. And the fully enlightened Buddha says, if you people knew what I know about giving, you would be giving all the time. You can't see it. how it works. But in my omniscience, Buddha said, I can see how it works. And if you knew how it worked, you could see what I'd do, that's what you'd be doing right now. Because it's not only helpful to other people, it's really helpful to you. It's a great thing. Yes? Yes? You see, there is a Buddha.

[58:05]

Arlene's acting up back there. What, Arlene? Oh, Carrie said... He said, Connor Diver actually kept one eye and then my eye fell out. And now it came back. See? I won't say I told you, yes? What would he have said? Well, it depends on when he got asked. After he calmed down from that, then he would probably think, okay, you want the eye. Then we'd think, okay, now, the last time I gave it and I regretted it and I wouldn't give it back. Now this time, let's imagine this time. Now this time, what happens if they do not take good care of this eye?

[59:09]

Is this going to be a problem for me? What happens if they sell it on the black market? Is that going to be a problem for me? Do I really feel okay whatever they do with this eye? I would think that he would contemplate that. I would think the next time, especially if they asked him right away, like a few blocks down, if some other beggar came up and said, can I have the other one? I would think he would say, give me a little time to think about this. I think he would sit in meditation for a while and consider whether he's really ready and whether he really trusts his teacher's instruction. And if he trusts his teacher's instruction, Then the question is, is he able to give it, and no matter what happens with it, that he wouldn't regret it? And if he verified that that was the case, then I think he would have given it away. And I think his life is that he gave himself away after that very nicely.

[60:10]

I don't know if anybody asked him for the other eye. It might have happened, and then he gave the eye, and then he got it back. I don't know. didn't hear that story yet but I think the point is you have to consider now and sometimes when people make donations to Zen Center or someplace like that if they come in the door and they say okay this is slightly different from the Moonies here or I don't know what other groups where you can actually come and they come and you give all your stuff away right and Zen Center I think we would say you know especially if they're going to give like a lot right like let's say A lot. And not only a lot, but a high percentage of what they have. So let's say they have $100,000 and they're going to give $100,000. You might say, maybe you should keep a little bit, because if they regret giving us all their money, or I should say, they might regret giving us all their money. Right?

[61:13]

Like giving your eye You get really sensitive of how they use it. But if you give a dollar, well, you know, if you give a dollar and you regret it, then you get in trouble for regretting it. But you don't necessarily regret it so much. If you really gave it. Really giving it means that there's no regret no matter what they do with it. And so, if someone's giving it something very valuable, People often counsel them, are you sure you're going to feel okay about it no matter how the group uses it? Are you going to feel okay about it if the group folds? And your money goes to help an organization that falls apart and goes bankrupt? Do you feel okay about that really? Would that be okay with you? The person might say, well, no. But I think it would be okay with me if I get a tenth of my money or a hundredth of my money folded.

[62:14]

Well, then give that. And that's a moment of giving. If you give it to something or somebody and you really feel okay about however it goes. And each person has to look in their own heart. And so I'm not telling you, don't give if you don't feel like you can do it without regret. I don't want to say that, even though that's how I feel. I think... Giving is that you really feel joy at giving whatever you give at that time. And the joy is the greatest when you really feel that no matter where it goes, it's okay with you. That the dollar could be ripped up, eaten, licked, or whatever. Okay? And Gary Sengilla said, people in Florida lick their money. And then he said, well... That's as true as the things that people in Florida say about people in Minnesota.

[63:19]

You know what they say? They say, Minnesota struck by a blizzard. They say, we are not struck by blizzards in Minnesota. When blizzards come, we relax. We sit by the fire and look out the window. We're not struck by blizzards. We enjoy blizzards. They should say, Minnesota, blessed by blizzards. And if they don't, we're going to say, people in Florida, lick their money. Yes? Could you say that again? In giving?

[64:29]

Can there be irresponsibility in giving? Yes. For example, giving someone the keys to your car who doesn't know how to drive is irresponsible. taking out that component, then there's no irresponsibility in giving. That's the only thing... Well, uh... Yeah, well, I mean, if you give it to get something, you know, then there have to be personal irresponsibility. If you do it and it would hurt you, then it's personally irresponsible. If you give it to them and it would hurt them, then it would be personally irresponsible. As I said yesterday, actually, to give something to somebody who won't yet give something to themselves is kind of irresponsible. And in Zen, you know, the traditional thing in Zen is the teacher giving approval to the student.

[65:34]

The Zen teacher is saying to the Zen student, you're a Zen teacher. The student wants the teacher someday to say, you're my equal, you're even better than me. Students want that. They want the teacher eventually to say, you know, you're really a worthy person. They want it. And the teacher feels it from early on. But if the student can't give it to herself, and you give it to her, you're giving it to her probably because you just can't stand the pain of them asking and you're not giving it. And you try to get rid of your pain by lying to them and saying, Yes, you can have it, but they can't have it because if they don't give it to themselves, they don't get it. The Zen teachers give to people what they don't need because they've already got it. And they withhold from them what they do need until they will give it to themselves.

[66:36]

And it will be irresponsible to give it to them before they'll give it to themselves. Just like the car key. It's irresponsible to give the person the keys to the car before they've given themselves the ability to drive the car. But when they can drive the car, then you can give them the key. Not only drive it, but drive it safely. And they're not intoxicated or anything else either. And same with yourself. To give yourself something that you can't take care of, it's irresponsible. To take on a responsibility that you can't fulfill, that you don't think you can do, irresponsible. You shouldn't give it to yourself. And if other people give it to you, you should say, no, thank you. I'm not ready. Then they've got to talk you into it. And maybe they'll convince you. And then if they convince you, then you'll give it to yourself. What time are we supposed to stop? No? What time is the next period of time?

[67:39]

No, but really... But not right away. There'll be a break between, right? Yeah. Donation break. But pretty soon, right, you're kind of thinking of... Anytime? Okay. It's time to stop. Unless there's a really good question. DJ, this better be good. It better be. What? Can I say something? Start with who you think you are. Work with who you think you are. That's called the intra-psychic work.

[68:41]

Then start to be who you are with other people. The way I am with other people sometimes surprises me, the things I say and do with other people. So then start being who you are with other people. By going back and forth, you can gradually become thoroughly who you are. And it's very painful and frustrating to do that. And if you're not sure if you've become thoroughly yourself, you can go ask a Buddhist teacher. And before you give it to yourself, they won't give it to you if they've got guts. And they say, DJ, You don't even think you fully become yourself. What are you asking me for? And you can answer that question. I won't ask you that in public right now, whether you think you've accomplished that. But when you have accomplished that, when you become fully yourself, I'd be happy to receive a visit. And I'll tell you what I think. How's that? Pardon?

[69:47]

Is what in the direction of discovering who we really are? Yes. Yes. Practicing giving. Practicing giving, you get a lot of information about yourself. You find out what parts of yourself you're willing to give away and what parts you aren't. The parts you're willing to give away are, generally speaking, not yourself when you put when you pine the when you find the parts that you don't want to give away you now found some part of yourself that by giving helps you locate yourself you can find the actual exact shape of yourself by finding the where you don't want to give and then also if you find a place where you don't want to give and you and you go ahead with that not giving you'll notice how that educates you but contemplating that place where you're educated by what you don't want to give you start to understand the relationship between yourself and others and you see how others make yourself and you start to learn what you are namely you're born from these things which you don't want to give to and your vision of yourself gets clearer and clearer when you can finally see who you are exactly and you realize that's not who you are and you give yourself away

[71:17]

And it takes compassion, and compassion is giving, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, and concentration. And then there's wisdom, which helps compassion stay on course, so you aren't dreaming about these five practices. Being concentrated is compassion. Giving is compassion, not just to others, but to yourself. So practice those perfections, those profound activities, That's compassion. And that will help you become more and more yourself. We're all looking forward to this moment. Okay, enough. Yes, one more. I don't know how I view it.

[72:31]

With pain, I would suggest with pain that you be very gentle. Be very gentle. Be infinitely gentle with all pain. At least find out what gentle means. People here have been in pain all week. Some of them anyway, two of them at least. Actually, quite a few have been in quite a bit of pain. And they've been quite gentle with themselves. And because they've been gentle with themselves, they survived. Pretty much. I haven't seen any casualties yet, have I? People have taken good care of themselves. They've been quite gentle with themselves. They haven't beat themselves up with this schedule. And I think they've done really well. Be kind to yourself. Get close to the pain. Figure out what to do about it. Study it. And that will teach you how to take care of yourself under the circumstances of being in pain which is the regular circumstance of human beings the pain sometimes is subtle the pain sometimes is gross but it's pretty much there all the time because of this fundamental rift this wound in our heart there all the time so with gross what do you call it

[73:57]

with the word seat located, badactal pain, with those pain, and with heart pains, and with mind pains, and conceptual pains, and theoretical pains, money pains, girlfriend pains, all these pains. Be gentle with yourself around these pains, and the gentleness will help you settle with the pain. And when you settle with the pain, you will be liberated from all pain. Or initially the one at that moment. But being gentle takes courage and concentration. It's not a vague pain. It's a specific pain. It's pain right here. It's gentleness about the pain that's right here. And you have to have enthusiasm to take care of that pain. You have to be enthusiastic about being gentle. And you have to be patient with the pain in order to be gentle. If you get impatient with the pain, don't be gentle.

[75:01]

Flare up, do something rash, which will make the pain worse. I can imagine myself hitting my finger with a hammer or something like that and then hitting my finger again with the hammer. To punish myself for this stupid thing. There are many fantasies. and...

[75:33]

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