One might say that there are two kinds of meditation practice in the Buddha way. One kind is a practice based on belief in self, or a practice where you still believe that you exist independent of all other living beings. Another kind of meditation practice is the kind of practice that comes from a person who no longer believes that she is existing independently of all beings.

[01:03]

The first kind of meditation practice is a practice that the person, based on belief in self, thinks that she can do by herself, by her own personal effort. The second kind of practice is a practice done by a person who realizes that meditation of the Buddhas and the ancestors is not a meditation done by an individual person. The meditation practice of the Buddhas is realized by the entire interdependent world. The meditation practice of the Buddhas and ancestors is intimacy with the total concerted activity of all beings, which of course is not something that a person can do.

[02:35]

It is also not something that a person can avoid being, because actually what each person is, is the total dynamic, interpenetrating functioning of the entire universe. Every person is like this. Every plant is like this. Every rock is like this. All things are this way, and the way all things are is the meditation practice of the Buddhas. Okay?

[03:52]

Okay? Okay? The meditation practice from the understanding that I don't do anything by myself is not another kind of karma. It doesn't accumulate karma. It is beyond karma.

[04:58]

The meditation practice which is karmic and which I can do is sometimes called by the Zen master Dogen, the near. It's near, right? Some of you may know about this practice that you think you can do, or a life that you think you can do. Okay? And a life or a practice not based on self, a life and a practice that emerges from being free of the idea of independent existence, a meditation practice that spontaneously emerges from understanding your interdependence with all beings, that kind of practice might seem far away, and actually Dogen Zenji calls that the far.

[06:14]

But he doesn't say that we should dislike practice and life, which is from the point of view of what I can do. He also says we shouldn't like or think that that's good. Rather, without esteeming or despising the practice and life which we now live by our own effort, by our own personal power, he says, rather than esteeming it or despising it, we should become adept at it. We should do it wholeheartedly. Even though our karmic life is based on the delusion that we're independent, we should not despise our deluded activity. We should be adept at our deluded activity.

[07:30]

We should do our deluded activity impeccably. And by being wholehearted about everything we do, about all our karma, this world of karma naturally reveals itself in its illusory quality and becomes the stepping stone to jump into the practice. Which we can't do. The impeccable practice of the world of karma naturally transcends itself and leaps into the ineffable practice beyond karma. So in traditional Buddhism, they teach the monks, they teach the meditators to become more and more proficient at the path of personal effort, until finally you see that personal effort is nonsense.

[08:35]

That the whole basis of it is simply a misunderstanding. But it's hard to see that unless you wholeheartedly exert your delusion that you can do something all by yourself. If you half-heartedly exercise your independent operation, you will probably stay sunk in that delusion forever. If you completely exhaust that delusion to the end of it, you'll see that it's just a delusion and you'll become free of it. So we don't despise our deluded self-centered karmic practices.

[09:38]

We study them and practice them to their end and then we can leap beyond it. We naturally leap beyond it. Similarly, Dogen Zenji says, we should not esteem or despise the far. We should not dislike a practice of Zazen which we cannot do.

[10:46]

We shouldn't dislike it and we shouldn't like it. We shouldn't esteem it and say, oh that's the best practice. Or the worst practice. Some people think it's wonderful and it is. And then they like it. Some people think it's wonderful but they find out they can't do it and then they hate it. But without hating this Zazen of the Buddha or loving it, Dogen Zenji encourages us to become adept at it. How do you become adept at what you can't do? You give yourself entirely to the world that you can't do. You devote yourself to a practice that you can't do. You become proficient at a selfless practice.

[11:51]

You practice just like a Buddha. How does a Buddha practice? Well, a Buddha doesn't try to be a Buddha. So you practice without trying to be a Buddha. Also, a Buddha doesn't try to be himself. He just is. She just is. So you can devote yourself to a worldly karmic practice. And if you do it completely, you naturally transcend it and enter into a practice which is beyond karma. If you give yourself entirely to the karma which is based on self-delusion and exert it to the fullest, you realize the illusion of it and enter the practice of Buddha. Or you can immediately enter the practice of Buddha. It's just that you can't do it. So if you want to do practice, go ahead. It's all right.

[12:54]

I don't esteem you or despise you for doing it. But if you do it wholeheartedly, I do esteem you. Because in your wholeheartedness, you're Buddha. Or you can do a practice which is immediately Buddhist practice, which is a practice that you can't do, that you can't get anything from, and that you do by becoming intimate with all beings and all Buddhas. You just throw yourself into Buddha's house, which is nowhere other than here. You throw yourself into here and now, with no way to do that. You give up personal power and you make the big transition to intimacy with the total concerted activity of the universe, which is already where you are. Either way, they're not really different.

[13:57]

Only the mind makes it different. Practice the near, practice the far. Practice the near, which you can do. Practice the far, which you can't do by yourself and nobody else can do for you. Personally, I prefer to practice the far. And whenever I find myself in a need to practice the near, I try to do it wholeheartedly. Including that I feel a little ashamed of my delusion that I can do something. But when I am deluded into thinking I can do something by my own effort, by my own power, I try to be wholehearted about it and admit it. That's a quiet shout.

[15:06]

I didn't want to frighten the guests. So, in this Soto Zen school, you know, one of our main texts is called, in Japanese, Fukan Zazengi, and this text is chanted every night during practice period, I believe, in the head temples of the Soto school, of Heihei-ji and Soji-ji. Their last period of meditation, monks chant this Fukan Zazengi in Japanese, because they're in Japan. We used to do it here in Tassahara in Japanese, but we stopped because we're not Japanese. But now we chant it in English, don't we?

[16:15]

But not every night, do we? But you could do it privately, yourself, every night. It's a wonderful text. In English it's called The Ceremony for the Universal Encouragement of Sitting Meditation. The Ceremony for the Universal Encouragement of Zazen. And usually when it's translated into English, they don't translate the most important word, Ceremony. Gi, Fukan Zazengi, that Gi means Ceremony. But usually they forget to translate that word. I think they think, oh, people don't like ceremonies, so don't call it a ceremony. But what Dogen Zenji describes in that text is a ceremony. The Zazen which we do when we come into this room and we bow, you know, and walk to our seat, and bow to our seat, and have the cushion, and sit cross-legged, and observe the points of posture.

[17:17]

These yogic points of posture which we observe are ceremonial procedures which we follow. It's a ceremony that we do in this room. The ceremony we do in this room is not the Zazen of the Buddhas and Ancestors. It is a ceremony which celebrates the Zazen of the Buddhas and Ancestors. Now you can do this ceremony or you can join all beings doing this ceremony. But the ceremony is not Zazen. However, even though it's not Zazen, when we give ourselves entirely to the ceremony, Zazen is realized in this room. It comes alive in the ceremony, but it's not in the ceremony.

[18:19]

Now, as it says in the Jewel Mirror Samadhi, the meaning is not in the words, but it responds to the arrival of energy. It says, responds to the inquiring impulse, responds to the giving of your energy to a practice. It's not in your effort, it's not in the ceremony, it's not in the sitting posture. But when you sit like that, the meaning of that sitting responds to your sitting. And the meaning is actualized in the response between your effort and all beings. And the response is immediate, so you can't see it later. It happens exactly at the moment you sit. The moment you sit. The moment you sit. The meaning is responding to you, moment by moment.

[19:20]

. A ceremony that celebrates the wondrous interdependent world of the Buddhas. And celebrates means to frequent. It's a ceremony that frequents the world of Buddha. Sometimes we also speak of the Zazen practice, which you can do as a carved dragon, or a carved version of real Zazen.

[20:21]

And that refers to an old Chinese story about a man who loved dragons. He carved dragons and he had dragons carved for him. He carved dragons out of wood. He carved dragons out of jade, out of lapis lazuli, out of coral. He had a wonderful collection of carved dragons. And one day, a real dragon was flying through the air above his house and saw this collection of carved dragons and said, Oh, he probably wants to meet a real dragon. So he came down to the man's house to visit him. When the man saw him, he was shocked and fainted. But the real dragon comes to the person who makes the carved dragons.

[21:32]

He doesn't come down to visit people who don't have carved dragons because he figures they probably don't want, they probably don't like dragons. There's no dragons in the house. Probably doesn't like dragons. The dragons up in the sky, no matter what, flying around. It isn't that they don't like you. It's just they don't feel you want to see them because you don't put out an invitation card. Buddhas don't want to bother you. If they see you practicing, you know, sitting like a Buddha, kind of like sitting like a Buddha, but say, well, I really don't like this. They say, Oh, he doesn't like Buddha. Oh, well, don't visit him. He wouldn't want Buddha to show up because he's kind of ambivalent about this Buddha thing. But when Buddha sees a wholehearted person, Buddha is there.

[22:44]

And when a person is not even wholehearted anymore, but simply dives into the world of all beings, then there's no other Buddha. Then Buddha doesn't even come to visit anymore. Then Buddha is just what's happening. So either way, whether you make a carved dragon or you jump into the house of the real dragons, either way, the dragon comes to visit. Now, during the summer, as you know, we don't have the ceremony of Zazen very often. Just one period in the morning and one period at night, except for optional opportunities, which many people are so tired, they don't take advantage of because they're so tired.

[23:50]

But as Dogen Zenji said, sitting meditation has nothing to do with sitting. The sitting meditation of Buddha has nothing to do with sitting. Sitting, in the usual sense, is just a ceremony that celebrates the sitting of Buddha. So no matter what posture you're in, standing, sitting, walking or lying down throughout the day, you can practice Zazen. And you can do it from the point of view of you're doing it, or you can do it from the point of view of I'm intimate. I feel, beyond my feeling, intimate with the working of the entire universe right here. And I trust that intimacy has my life,

[24:56]

or my life has intimacy with all beings. Standing, sitting, walking or lying down, you can practice that way, which is not a practice you do. Or you can do a practice like that and do it completely and become free of the idea that you're doing it. In either case, it's a matter of total devotion to completely being yourself. . Completely being yourself as an independent person who does things, or completely being yourself, which is the total concerted activity of the entire universe. Either way,

[26:00]

they're really the same thing, but they sound different. . Okay. I could say quite a bit more about this, but maybe you have some questions. Yes. Well, it takes a while,

[27:04]

but I could do it. Well, we could all do it, actually. I think it would be better for all of us to do it or just me to do it. Pardon? Before we recite this text, any other comments or questions? Yes. Karma is action. It's the activity, like, you know, raising your hand or saying hi, talking or thinking, thinking, physical postures, or speaking, in terms of, I'm an independent person, like, I'm independent of you, and I'm doing this by my own energy. So it's the activity of a being, particularly a human, based on the idea of independent self.

[28:08]

Beings who are free of that idea of independent self, they can also raise their hands and stuff, and, you know, pull their earlobes and wave, talk, think, but they don't understand it as their own personal action. They know, you know, that these arms are moving and the voice is coming, but the voice and arm gestures come up out of interdependence rather than by independent action, and that's not karma. If you act from the belief in self, then the consequence, then you live a life of consequences of acting from that delusion. And that's the world of karmic accumulation, which is more and more bondage to the world, you drive yourself deeper and deeper into the world of where you're isolated from other people, independent of other people, and plants and animals and so on. And this is the world of misery. The world where you act

[29:11]

out of interdependence, out of an understanding of interdependence, I say you act, but where action emerges from interdependence is a world of freedom, peace, and happiness, fearlessness, freedom from anxiety, wisdom and compassion, and so on. Yeah, if you look at a Buddha, a Buddha can walk around and talk and stuff like that, but the Buddha does not believe that she's doing it by her own power. Who's talking to me by the way? But if a person does, you know, if a person walked right next to a Buddha and did exactly the same moves as a Buddha, talked the same words, same tone of voice, perfect imitation, but thought that she was doing it by her own power, she would be doing karma, and the Buddha would be expressing wisdom and compassion. But if that person would switch over and act from interdependence, that person would be a Buddha,

[30:11]

and their actions would no longer be karma. So, you can either switch right away, jump into the world beyond karma, which of course you have no way of doing or understanding whatever, but just only way you can do that is just sort of wholeheartedly do it, without any proof or figure way of figuring it out, other than crawling to your teacher and asking if you're doing it. And of course he says, no, you're not. But is it happening? Yes, it's always happening. Or you can stick with the world of karma, you can do it all the way to the end, you'll realize that it's just pure illusion. But you have to do it all the way, you have to be like ignorant and deluded all the way to the end of that, to see that you can never do anything by yourself. You have to try, you have to do something by yourself so completely, that you can't do it anymore fully, and then you'll see that you don't do it by yourself.

[31:15]

So, you can go the way of karma all the way to the end, and jump off, or you can just switch right now to a life of intimacy with all beings, and give up the idea that you can do anything by yourself. Just forget about yourself in other words, right now. You can switch tonight. If you're not ready, then do this other thing, and that will provide a transition over to the world of interdependence. Okay? Hmm? Do you understand? You're still thinking? Oops. Well, do it all the way. Anything else? Yes? A lot of times it seems like um, um, it's kind of mysterious, and it's more like a gift. And I kind of actually... It's mysterious and it's a gift, yes.

[32:16]

It's a gift. And you're getting that gift every moment. Congratulations. But do you trust it? Or do you trust it? Did I cut you off? A little bit? Please continue. Would you say that again louder, please? Okay.

[33:30]

Yeah, right. And at the moment when you see something, when you see effort happening, you see activity happening, okay? At that time, you're not so sure where it's coming from. Like you're not sure it's coming from you, even though it's so-called your hands, okay? You see your hands raising up in the air, but you're not so sure you're raising them. At that moment, it might be a time... You can't recognize the whole universe making this happen. This is too much. It's inconceivable how the whole universe raises its hand. Nobody can see this, how the whole universe is helping this. And yet, you can understand it. You can see. And the way you understand it is you can see, I'm not doing this. I can't lift my hand up. Buddha cannot lift his hand up. Buddha cannot stand up or sit down or walk. Buddha like totally

[34:31]

incapable of doing anything. But Buddha's hand goes up like this. And Buddha sits up. And Buddha, you know, lifts their eyebrows up and down and blinks and talks. But Buddha cannot do that. And Buddha knows, I can't do anything. Where does that come from? Buddha wonders. How does this speech come out of my mouth? That's a good time to check out where it's coming from. It can only be coming from everybody and everything. You can't see that, but you can understand because you know you didn't do it. I know I'm not doing this talking. I'll tell you that. I know that. But maybe Liz is doing it. Maybe I'm Liz's puppet. She's a ventriloquist. Well, I don't think so. Not Liz. Maybe Jeremy. I don't think so. Maybe Liz and Jeremy. Maybe Liz and Jeremy and Robert. This is getting closer.

[35:32]

Maybe all of you and the entire world is causing the speech. That's what I think is true. And at a time when I really see that this is not my words coming out, I'm not doing this and I don't get that I'm doing it and I can't do anything, it's a good time to sort of appreciate that the whole world is giving me my life. Giving me my life as a talker and as a silent one. Giving me my silence. Giving me my stillness. Giving me my movement. How about that? How about living like that? How about thank you very much for my life? Say you're welcome. Come on. How come you didn't say you're welcome? Are you resisting me? Don't you want to admit that you're giving me my life? You don't want to? I'll say one more time. Thank you.

[36:34]

Thank you. I don't mean to scare you or threaten you. I really don't. But I'm about 54 and when Suzuki Roshi was about 10 years older than me, he started telling people, you know, I'm not going to be around forever. So I'm not going to be around forever. So please you know get with the program soon. Would you? Give yourself completely to a way that directly indicates the Buddha. Would you please? Because I'm not going to be around much longer. To harass you. Matter of fact, I'm going to Japan tomorrow morning and my airplane might crash. So you might never see me again. So please, do me a favor and

[37:36]

completely start practicing. Every moment of the day. Please. Okay? Anybody have any problem with that? Good. I know you get sleepy, but you know. After you wake up, give it a try. Did you have a question over there? Somebody? Yes? Could you speak up? If you're a Buddha, you can't raise your hand. No. If you're a Buddha, you can you think you can raise your hand. If you're not Buddha, you think you can raise your hand. Thinking that I can raise my hand is called you know a deluded being. Okay? And it's okay to be a deluded being. Buddha allows that. Matter of fact, Buddha loves deluded beings.

[38:38]

But to think that I can raise my hand is delusion and for the hand to raise up and knowing that I'm not doing it is Buddha. You see? What? Confusing. Well, that's reasonable. What are you confused about? Tell me what you think. Tell me what wouldn't be confusing. Okay. What wouldn't be confusing? Yes? So what's the theory? No, no. Okay, so here's the theory. You don't have the theory straight. The theory is that when you can't raise your hand when you realize that you cannot raise your hand by your own power

[39:40]

the theory is that you'll be Buddha. Okay? So when you get to the point when you realize that when your hand goes up you don't raise it at that time I'm telling you the theory says you will be a Buddha. In other words when you get to the point where your hand goes up and down your mouth opens and shuts your voice comes out of your mouth when that happens not by your power and you don't do that I'm telling you you will be totally happy totally compassionate totally wise free and just a Buddha. That's the theory. So when that happens to you check it out and tell me if that's not Buddha. Okay, good. The other part is if you raise your hand by your own power you're not by that power trip you're stuck in being an ordinary limited person and you'll suffer. That's the other part of the theory. So you can test that right now. Okay, so what's the conclusion? Sounds like both... You still...

[40:43]

You mean it's a problem that you're still suffering? Yeah, it is a problem. And what I'm saying to you is if you will completely put yourself into this is not easy but completely live this life of where you lift your hand by your own power and completely feel that pain and anxiety of that kind of life which we all feel when we live that way. Okay? You following this so far? Completely devote yourself to admitting what it's like to be a person who thinks he can do things on his own which means you also have to completely feel the pain of living that way. If you do that completely you will leap beyond that world and enter the world where you can't do anything and where everything happens through you by the virtue of all beings and then you're a Buddha. Okay? Yes. Right, exactly.

[41:53]

And we believe it's a reality that we can raise our hand. That's it. That's the point. It isn't just that it seems like you can raise your hand. Okay? Because a Buddha could see that it seems like he can raise his hand. Okay? It's that you believe we, you and I all of us people believe it. We think it's a reality. That's the problem. You're right. That's why it hurts. It's not just kind of like a show. Like if you did a magic trick Okay? You did some magic trick where you kind of created an illusion you wouldn't believe it. You'd just know it was an illusion, right? Not a reality. The problem is we think it's a reality that we can act by our own power. And whatever we think is a reality is a delusion. Because Buddhas know that whatever they think is not a reality. It's just a thought. Nobody can think a reality. There is cause and effect. The cause of the pain

[42:57]

is a belief in independent action. That's the cause of suffering and bondage. That's the cause the effect is suffering and bondage. Buddhism Buddha is all about cause and effect. The cause of bondage and pain is belief in independent existence. Matter of fact this is great because you could say that the cause of suffering the cause and effect of suffering is that you don't actually believe in cause and effect. You don't believe in causation you believe in the reality of yourself. Not that you're caused but that you're an independently existing thing. You forget about causation when it comes to yourself. You think you're a reality you think your thoughts are a reality rather than just something which is conjured up by causes and conditions. So causation if you study causation you will realize that there is no independent action. And the way you and so you can study causation

[43:57]

means study how thinking that there is independent action causes suffering. Watch that causation and you'll see all you need to see. But you have to do it wholeheartedly which means that that's the highest priority in your life. But it's really worth it because it will set you free and help all beings. What do you think? Still got a problem? I think you better come live at the exam center for a few, ten years. I'll work on you. You'll get it. Everybody else does. Right? Well, maybe twenty years. Yes? Does Buddha feel responsible? No. Buddha does not feel responsible. But Buddha even though Buddha doesn't feel responsible Buddha responds to all beings.

[44:57]

Buddha is totally devoted to all beings that doesn't feel responsible. Feeling responsible is based on sense of self. But if you have a sense of self and you're acting from there you must take responsibility for your belief. Buddhas are those who are not doing anything by their own power so they're not responsible for anything. They are the enactment not of irresponsibility but of pure responsiveness. They're nothing but response. All of us are nothing but response. We're just we are just the response to all things. Each person at each place in the universe is the response to all things. Each one of you is the response to all things all day long. But you're not responsible for that. You're you're a total you know gift of the universe. The universe is responsible for you. And the universe

[46:02]

is happy with you. I just wish you would say thank you. I know you're shy so you don't want to say thank you but you really should. It would be good for you. Thank you universe. Thank you for giving me life moment after moment. In Zazen practice is to sit there to sit still and say okay I'm just gonna sit down here and say thank you to the universe for life. Thank you for this life. Thank you for this life. Thank you for this life. Let me let it now be given back to all beings who gave it to me. Who let me be me. Weird, huh? You have another question? Go ahead. Pardon? Yeah, she got two you get two. Everybody gets two. What? Thinking about suffering? Okay. Me too. That's right.

[47:07]

It's our mortality that's causing suffering? Uh-huh. What did you think? Well this realm though is mind determined. You got in this realm by your mind. So it's kind of the same thing. I mean Pardon? You were born and probably you'll die, right? But and so you're saying that the main problem is you're gonna die? What's the problem? That you're born? You're right. Suffering comes suffering comes from being born. You're right. Suffering comes from being born and dying. Okay? That's how it comes. But it comes not just from being born and dying but being born and then thinking

[48:18]

that you're independent of all the things which gave you birth. That's what causes the suffering that Buddha is trying to teach you to be free of. How you doing? Still thinking? Go right ahead. Wait. In the back there? Somebody? Is that Kendra? Kendra. You feel trapped? Yes. Yes. Yes.

[49:22]

Uh-huh. So she said she feels trapped or she feels some she feels some conflict because I suggest that she betrothed herself but part of herself which means she understands to accept herself completely. All of herself. Right? And part of herself wants to change or not be the way she is. Right? So in other words you have to accept that you have a mind which has conflict in it. The kind of person you are is that you're like the rest of the people. And everybody has conflict in their mind. Everybody has one part which feels okay, this part is okay and this part is not okay. And I should take the part that's not okay and get rid of it or you know fix it up or something. You can accept that you're a person who has a dynamic mind which has lots of conflict in it. You can be a person who has a lot of conflict which means it's difficult to be a person who has conflict. We'd rather be a person who has a mind which is all homogenized with no conflict. Wouldn't that be easier? Huh?

[50:24]

Seems like it? It might but that's not the way people are. People's minds have conflicts in them because they think they're supposed to be two kinds of people. They think they're supposed to be like unselfish and kind and Buddha and they think they're supposed to be you know also selfish and you know self-centered and independent. So we have these conflicts in our mind that's the kind of mind we have. We need to become intimate with that mind. And when you're intimate with that mind you have done what I'm suggesting you have become intimate with yourself you are totally yourself and at that point you will become Buddha. Is that hard? Yes. Why is it hard? Because you think you don't have to do it. You think you can sort of hedge on being yourself and nothing is more difficult than being yourself. Now if somebody told you okay

[51:25]

if you're yourself we'll you know pay you a lot of money or something maybe you'd try it but you know all you're going to get is freedom out of this. So how's it going Kendra? I can't see you very well. Does that make sense? Yeah. I mean it's too good part of me I think it's a part that wants to change part of me I want to change the part that wants to change. Right. And it's going to have to be like I'm sort of part in the effect that I want to change and all these parts that I want to change. You know where I'm and then that I'm Yeah. I'm not supposed to want to change any of it. No it's not it's not that you're not supposed to want to change okay because that's the way you are. You're not supposed to be different from who you are. The universe has has carefully created you just like you are. Okay. You're perfect. You're not supposed to be different. All right. You are changing all the time. You're not supposed to be different from the person

[52:25]

who's changing all the time. And the way people are is that most people especially people who are interested who notice their suffering and see some reasons why they're suffering would like to change and stop being the way they are that's causing suffering. Right. But you can't stop being the way you are ever. However if you completely are intimate with the way you are you're immediately liberated from the way you are without even stopping being the way you are. The way you are right now without changing anything is itself Buddha including that you want to change this. What do you think of that Kendra? Yes. Yes.

[53:30]

Yes. That would be the way that would be the way to be if you want to become free of that kind of thinking. You're welcome. Good luck. Yes. What creates I mean what's the causation of a separate self? Human evolution I would say. What was the second question? What's the purpose? It's purpose I would say is what do you call it transmission of genetic continuity. If you take a complex society like human society okay and you have some people in the group that have idea of self and others who don't the ones who have the idea of self will predominate. They'll reproduce more effectively they'll create

[54:37]

more inventions they'll take over the group. The idea of self is self-promoting. So it has happened that human beings have taken over the planet because they have this powerful thing this powerful delusion called self and they have promoted them they have promoted that idea. The drawback is it causes all kinds of war and conflict and fear and anxiety and you know the whole smear of suffering. We can't go back and deconstruct our evolution. We have to understand this person and if we understand this person who was built on selfishness and rewarded for being selfish we are rewarded for being selfish and we are rewarded for hiding our selfishness. To selfishly pretend like we're not selfish we're rewarded. People like people who aren't selfish. So if you're selfish

[55:38]

you'll do better if you don't tell people you're selfish and whenever they're looking act unselfish. And if you've got a self you'll be more effective at pretending that you're not selfish. Unselfish people don't go around pretending trying to look unselfish. Unselfish people you know could act in such a way that they look selfish like an unselfish gorilla. You know you go see a gorilla what does the dude say give me your purse. What do you got to eat there? A Zen master will do that too. Oh you have a purse oh and you got a barrette in there can I wear the barrette? But you don't have any hair oh sorry. But people would say oh a selfish gorilla selfish Zen master he wants to get the barrette and the purse and the cookies for himself. So they would look selfish so if you got a self then you could say oh how can I look unselfish

[56:39]

oh welcome oh you have a nice purse there it's nice where did you get it? I don't want your purse. Here take my purse. Oh you're very you're very unselfish no you're really great here take my purse thank you. Self is a thing that human beings have created to develop and protect their own individuality their own animal survival and it turns out it has created an amazing thing called a human being which can be who can be a Buddha by understanding what a human being is not by trying to not be a human being Shakyamuni Buddha was a human being he had a self he suffered he understood that he became free and became a great teacher to other people about how to find out what you are and become free of it so you could say

[57:41]

the human self was created for the reasons I said but also in order to make Buddhas humans make very good Buddhas I'm not saying the best I'm not saying the best there may be Buddhas in other planets that aren't human that are just as good but we make very good Buddhas because we really have to understand a very complex tricky situation of our self interest what do you think? understand now? yes you mean on the ceremony? the ceremony of sitting? yeah, be careful don't yes but the whole eightfold path is contained in sitting but the whole eightfold path is also contained in walking and lying down

[58:42]

and cooking and sleeping and jump roping it's contained in all activities in the interdependence you can put too much emphasis on anything yes gotta be careful but if you're putting too much emphasis you should you should understand and thoroughly put too much emphasis so you can realize that it's an illusion that you put too much emphasis you can never put too much emphasis but the universe can use you to put too much emphasis and when you realize that you won't be putting too much emphasis so whatever you're doing you can use that as an opportunity no matter what yes you have another selfish question? well, welcome you have an illusion

[59:45]

that you're quite happy? yes yes yeah, maybe a little pretty good yes I think I think it's just that you think that I mean, I'm not saying you're wrong or right but you do feel that way and you look pretty good to me too you don't look that bad most of the people in this room are pretty healthy I mean, here you are sitting up late at night you're a pretty healthy group so you're pretty happy people now some of you yesterday were totally miserable but right now you look pretty happy alright that's fine okay that you feel that way

[60:48]

so what's the problem? pretty happy? what's the problem? what's the problem? he has a little bit of you have a little bit of pain, right? a little bit but he's okay with it so what's the problem? am I trying to blow his am I trying to blow his pain up to be some big deal? why can't I just leave him alone let him be sort of okay with the little bit of pain he has? huh? well, I'll tell you the reason is that when you when you understand a little bit and when I understand a little bit about what you can be or how you can live then this okay with this pain that you have and this okay with the pain that I have okay is extreme agony compared to what life can be like it's not okay at that point

[61:53]

because you are missing the opportunity to be a person who is not just okay with his own suffering but who can embrace fearlessly all beings with great compassion and wisdom and compared to that life this life of being okay with my suffering right now is a tight unhappy frightened selfish petty miserable existence and not only that but it's going to get worse you're not all your pain that you have now is not going to stay like this you're going to get really sick pretty soon you're going to get Alzheimer's you know and then at that point it's going to be very hard for you to study your Alzheimer's you're going to have strokes you know all kinds of difficult things are coming to us pretty soon we're going to big wave is coming which is going to come crashing down on us we're going to have heart problems and cancer and even if we don't our close friends are big suffering is coming

[62:54]

and then you still might be okay with it okay you still might be okay with it which is fine but I'm talking about not just being okay with your suffering I'm talking about being able to be tremendously compassionate whether you're greatly suffering or minorly suffering I'm talking about the freedom from all this which is an inconceivable joy and beauty and which can help you cope with huge overwhelming misery physical deterioration mental deterioration and tremendous suffering around you which you can help because you're overcome your selfishness we do we sometimes feel incredibly frightened and terrible when we're confronted with certain situations which push our selfishness right now here we are sitting it's not that bad nobody's actually coming over to us

[63:55]

and asking us for a kidney but what are you going to do if your wife or daughter asks you for a kidney what are you going to do how are you going to respond is this going to be another joyful moment of life or is it going to be something that you're going to be okay with kind of like well you know I'm sorry I'm not going to give it to you but I'm okay with that so anyway it's okay that you're okay it's good to be okay and I'm glad you're okay with it but this is not your full potential my friend you can be much you can be much greater living being than just somebody who's okay with this present minor pain you can understand that your pain is actually infinite and you can meet it and embrace it and become intimate with it that's your potential people have people are Buddhas we are not ever happy until we realize Buddhahood and I will never be happy until all beings

[64:56]

realize Buddhahood and you won't either you'll always be bothered no matter how happy you get you'll always be bothered until all beings realize Buddhahood now it's okay you can be okay with that that's okay but not too okay we're not okay with it just sort of okay free oh my God what time is it it's getting late no feeling the pain of others is not compassion feeling the pain of others well first of all feeling the pain of others I think is impossible but when someone is suffering if you feel pain looking at them that's what I would call empathy empathy is connected to compassion but compassion is not just being empathic okay so number one I say you don't feel other people suffering I don't think you feel my suffering but if you see me writhing in pain

[65:56]

you might be sympathetic to me and feel empathy for me and feel pain seeing me suffering that's not compassion but that's part of that's related to compassion once you see me suffering and you feel pain seeing me suffering compassion is not just feeling pain you feeling pain seeing me suffering but it's also your happiness is undermined by my suffering it's dented and limited by my suffering you feel that realizing your full potential requires me to be happy this is starting to be compassion and compassion is more than that though compassion is also that you want me to be free of suffering and great compassion is that you not only are undermined not only is your happiness limited by my unhappiness not only do you want me to be free but you will give your whole life to help me be free that's great compassion that's the way I understand the word compassion what do you think? when you feel

[67:09]

your pain at whatever level you feel it embrace it okay but the more you embrace it the more you settle with your pain the more it grows the wider it gets the bigger it gets until you realize that your pain is infinite and you're not running away from that either then you're set then you're not afraid anymore then you can face your life what do you think? that's how you're breathing that's good keep breathing it's one of the main things you have to do keep breathing through this process and you'll get there I really appreciate your enthusiasm for all these questions but some people want to go to bed right? so I think we have to stop but if you want to I'll talk to you afterwards okay? and give that man an escort over to my house would you? so now

[68:12]

since it's late it's kind of late to recite this wonderful text so I'll just do some of the high points the way is basically perfect and all pervading how could it be contingent upon practice and realization the Dharma vehicle is free and untrammeled what need is there of concentrated effort indeed the whole body is beyond the world's dust who could believe in a means to brush it clean it is never apart from one right where one is what is the use of going off here and there to practice and yet if there is the slightest discrepancy the way is as distant as heaven from earth if the slightest like or dislike arises the mind is lost in confusion we must give up

[69:19]

the slightest like or dislike in other words we must completely accept what's happening and all likes and dislikes accept them too but that is accepting them not getting entangled in them then you can realize the way is pervading through you constantly there are more high points but I think I'll stop is that ok? you can come and get this out and read it yourself ok sorry for keeping you up so late and for yelling at you I wasn't really yelling at you was I? I was just yelling I didn't mean it to be at you although I did notice I kept you awake that was good so I'll see you soon

[70:22]

I'll come back and talk with you about the eightfold path ok and in the meantime please devote yourself totally to being yourself moment by moment as you come into being ok? why don't you answer me when I ask you a question? is that too hard or do you feel coerced? you feel coerced? it's ok to feel coerced just say so but I can't tell if you don't say anything whether you feel coerced or you didn't hear me or you're scared or what I need some help here I'm not doing this by myself there's not much time left I have intention

[71:26]

to live in every being and place with the true merit of love's way beings are numberless I vow to save them visions are inaccessible I vow to end them Dharma is boundless I vow to enter them Buddha

[72:07]

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