Intimacy with Birth and Death: The 39th Yearly Memorial for Suzuki Roshi 

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it seems that is still
december fourth
we have
respectfully performed the
thirty nine memorial and memorial ceremony for our their future
and that we had a lovely day together
i thought i might turn
just bring up again for your consideration
how to paint the portrait of a bird
invite you to
think about
it would like to pay the courage
for you yourself to enter
and perhaps some others to enter to

ah imagine imagine a cage that you would like to go into imagine a curve that has something inside that's pretty
that's beautiful
so attractive that you're willing to go into the cage

many of you have entered coaches in the past
ron rescue to think of a coach who like to enter maybe next year
and then
and also suggested that cages ah
exist in time and space or space and time
there can be a cage of space in a cage of time
like tassajara this fall we are three months time courage
we have seven days within the three months we have seven day session pages
there are many things for as we commit to her awesome and part of the commitment is is a time commitment
so when you make your commitment if you do make a commitment to do make a close think of time as part of it
where what and how long
can be part of the
the cage you make
for yourself to enter settled down
painter way and thing

another image which i didn't talk about so much but how often you also
is the image of the
of our boundaries or limits formal limits would you offer
in your life
ah limits in regard to your work to become intimate with something
your your bodily challenges
and i
a written it has her i used the example of
the practice of goal of becoming intimate with cold water
so i have done that practice of going into cold water
i'm done it for quite a few years
there's some stories about me going into cold water at tassajara
which i'm not going to for the caught on i'm not going to
destroy the legend
but anyway i i also went into the san francisco bay been doing that for about thirty some years
i started to go into the bay in august
so by going in an august and sometimes i
i recognize my limits
and worked with my limits i thought
august is a maybe a good time the water's cold but not so called so i went in in august
and then i
and i went in regularly in august and then i went in his september
when i went in regularly in september and then i went in october and i went regularly october then i went in november and so on in december
and then
and then february january february the base is it as its coldest
and i did that
so that i could go into colder and colder water i work with my limits carefully
so i had gotten colder and colder water
he can go into really cold water you're not used to it yeah i heard you can cause a over activation of your vegas nerve which can cause cardiac arrest
not a heart attack but cardiac arrest
even it could happen to a child
so the same with entering your own ill your own disease or your own pain
our difficult relations
part of becoming intimate
and finding peace with our challenges
our diseases
is to carefully honor our limits
work with our limits and then find that now we can move beyond them to another limit different limit under the same with that in this way
we have an ongoing flow of limits to work with
and it's also this is part of
becoming intimate
sauce some people are
i'm not ready to get into the cage it's to to are they can't think of a cage
are they think of occasion had become terrified
so maybe are not ready or maybe you need to make a different kind of a cage
some people maybe only thing to a one day cage or one minute cage or a five minute cage so i'm working with these images of ring of recognizing and respecting your limits together with the understanding that we need some form
to test
our limits and become intimate with them and become three of them maybe you can think for the rest of the for december for the rest of december maybe think about
what forms like ceremonies do you wish to become intimate with in the next year
hopefully for the are just the first part of a year and then and then reconsider and commit to other forms for later in the year
but we do need some forms to nurture
nurture our
meeting ourselves nurture intimacy with ourselves and nurture intimacy with each other

so i i will be doing that myself
i will be and i have been all i have friends
i've been working on all year to figure out what
cages i'm gonna get into next year
people invite me to come into various cages
some cages i've said i don't think i'm gonna go in that cage this year
and then
that has caused considerable
for example when i i went to touch hard as ball and thought as hard as for but i do i to work quite a bit to get myself in that cage
for example
and with march five five priests were ordained to train with me and i didn't want a good and for me to go into the tatar cave cave or cage without as five priests i was not attracted to that
there was one kind of beautiful thing i wanted to have in a cage i didn't want to leave
those people behind when i went into the cage
so that was a limit i said i said i would be want to go into the cage but only if you send those five people down with me
and there was a big a big big deal to get them in the cage to and have them be part of
i was in the cage i didn't want to commit to train them and and go away into a training experience without them so that was part of what i needed to feel about all care by going to toss a her
and all of zen center was
more or less involved in making that possible for those five people to leave bring got was a big big change changing green gulch because they're kind of like
muslim had positions of responsibility in the community but apparently it's worked out okay but it took i took a long time
i went
because ah
i kind of knew what i needed to get myself interested
the needs were met so i could go so what do you what do you want what kind of a cage are you being invited into what kind of a cage do you want to enter and what do you need to
make the commitment to a particular kind of training experience next year
and it may be some of you say i don't want to go into any cage
i accept that


you think that there's not no cages
that's that's right there's a cage always and also there's also always
a cage it's painted away is that too
and there's a bird singing
beautifully all the time to


that is a possibility but that's not what we call the boot away the boot away is the way of the other bodhisattva
who if anybody's in cages
the boy sought that paints cages and goes into the cages
and most people are not clear about their cages so they are kind of in a sense they're trapped by their lack of consciousness of the cage
twenty sought per se i wanna go into the cage with those people
i willingly and knowingly enter into a cage
in order to help people wake up to the fact that they're in cage
but they don't go into the cage
they go into the cage because there's something very attractive in the cage and if he is attractive is the suffering means the boys office are attracted to this beings who are trapped in his confinement our mental construction
the cage is a mental construction
things are in those constructions and they're not able to see the construction study of skillfully and bodhisattva willingly entered the construction area
the teach people to become aware of it so that they can pain away the construction and
thing and then enter other constructions in order to help people don't not a senior
an urgent will actually help first of all help people wake up to their enclosure and then
but in order to gain to wake up the enclosure they gotta get him to
willingly enter their enclosure they don't think they're an enclosure they don't think they made a commitment synonym
then you go into their enclosure and get them to commit to enter their enclosure
and when you enter an enclosure and become aware of it when we enter we're we're we're aware of it and we closed the door so we can like settled down in it and then we paid away the bars by understanding that they're just mental constructions and we start singing
started singing
so it's not just to get rid of that mars is to give her the bar so you can sing and then attract other people who are in cages to become aware that their cages and part of the way they become aware of the cages is to willingly enter a cage practice cage a practice commitment the cage is already there but also the cage
cannot be found
but if you don't recognize that the cage appears to be there and you don't really understand that it can't be found
when you realize that it can't be found then you realize actually were all singing
for all three of the cage and while singing together happily
which was always the case
but because we were in this confinement which we didn't recognize we will cut off from me
the bodhisattva just goes round and round in that way until everybody is singing and knows it
but since it may take a while but everybody to realize that song but he said was have as i often say job security

and i want to say one more thing before caravan speaks with between i forget and that is suzuki roshi kindly on died in the fourth instead of the fourth of december instead of the eighth could have died on the eighth tony would have died on voters bird on buddha's enlightenment day
which would have made you know things kind of ceremonially
the intense
which is your go-to which is your birthday
well that's that works on quite well actually
which is i was gonna say we say that buddha's birthday is on april eighth we often say or in some traditions they say may fifteenth
but anyway in in japan is the april eighth his daughter's birthday but it's not actually buddha's birthday it's a bodhisattva his birthday
it's the birthday of the body sought for who became the buddha
really buddha's birthday is the same as simon's that's when the boot is actually born the boot is born on december eighth the birth of buddha is enlightenment so when buddha attained the way that was the birth of buddha so against the a you didn't die and put his birthday but so
simon guy in there
and had his birthday the same day as good as birthday
but in the ruined i think in the spirit of celebrating your birth and buddha's birth are quite compatible
celebrating your death and buddha's birth is you know that the hard to be really that cheerful
about it
today we're not depressed
about the garage is passing were inspired by his life we're grateful for his life the honor his passing
and were inspired by his coming and going
and we're getting ready for same his birthday
the birth of the good and the birth of simon
the birth of enlightenment
the carolyn and jane

enter the cage of the theater
here the birdies sing
you're going to sing the robinson
you mean
when the red red robin comes bob bob bob and along a long time when
there'll be no more saab and when she starts throbbing her old resolve that one wake up wake up you sleepyhead get a get out of bed in up cheer up the sun is red live love laugh and be happy
we know i've been blue now i'm walking through fields of flowers rain mag listen but still i listened for hours and hours i'm just a kid again do and what i did again
singing a song
when the red red robin comes bob bob bob and along pop pop pop pop in long


thank you for
bring your blessings to know darling

do every day

the numbers
the wrong to say
really nasty wrong
no to run down
the founders
no to around
here is unsurpassed at all
to become