In this final offering, can you hear me all right, John? Yes. Can you hear me okay? In my final offering here this morning, I'd like to talk about, excuse the expression, take this flight, Soto Zen. Soto Zen. Do you hear that? Soto. Why don't you come closer? No, come on. Closer, closer. Come up and sit next to Lisa. What? Before the word sotozen is what we're wondering what you said.

[01:01]

In his final offering, I'm offering you something now. Yes. And then you said, take this life, sotozen? Life. Take this life. Take this life. Don't take this kind of a... Take this life. He's thinking about sotozen. Life. It's kind of a heavy thing, sotozen. So what is Soto Zen? Well, let me tell you that nobody knows what Soto Zen is, and nobody knows what actually anything is. But anyway, Soto Zen, as I see it, is something that has to do with a lineage. of people being in Japan, the lineage goes through Dogen, the Zen teacher Dogen, and now the lineages, quite a few lineages from Dogen have come down to actually 2004 by Western calculations.

[02:11]

And one of the lineages is me. I'm one of the lineages. And then coming from me is some other lineages. I have students who are now, they're not me. They're new lineages. They're going to have new lineages. So their sotozen is coming through me, but it's not going to be the same as me. So I'm not saying I'm like all other sotozen. This is one version of sotozen I'm going to tell you about. Actually, I'm telling you about me, actually. I just happen to be in his lineage. I'm also in other lineages, too. like I'm a lineage of American male, white man, and so on. That's another part of my lineage. But I'm talking about Soto Zen part of my lineage. But really I'm talking about me, not all of Soto Zen. I wanted to say that part of the reason why I want to say it is because this retreat was organized by this thing called the Neo Soto Zen group or something like that.

[03:24]

Yeah, Neo. And I thought, that's a big title, isn't it? Northeastern Ohio Soto Zen. I thought, why do you have to say Soto Zen? Are there, maybe there's other kinds of Zen centers in Northeast Ohio? Yep. Yeah, it's amazing. Anyway, Neo Soto Zen is cool. And then also, now, still point, I don't know, is still point Soto Zen? Yes. Yeah, so Soto Zen is kind of an issue here for the still point people and the Neo people. We're also known as Nosey G. Nosey G, wow. N-O-E-S. Oh, Nosey G, cool. That's what the homeboys call him. I think Nosey's better.

[04:25]

Oh, oh. I'm going to just say nosy, that's cool. I won't get into the nosy mood. I would suggest to you, which I brought up yesterday quite particularly, that there's something about Soto Zen, I think there's something about Dogen and me, me and Dogen, that we're really into grandmother mind. In other words, I'm suggesting to you that a big part of this lineage is to try to be mindful, to have this grandmother mindfulness, or grandmotherly mindfulness. In other words, to try to remember to make everything you do an act of intimacy.

[05:28]

Make everything you do an offering to the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. So I think that's what Dogen was really concerned about, and I think that's really a wonderful teaching. Last night when I was eating those baked potatoes, I was making effort with every bite of that baked potato to make an offering to Buddha. I was concentrating on that. of making my eating of the baked potato an offering to the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. I had to remember to do that, actually. But after a while, sometimes you get into the mode of making what you're doing an offering to Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Or put another way, that you feel like you wish to take care of the triple treasure while you're eating. You wish to take care of the triple chakra while you're walking, while you're sitting, while you're bowing, while you're driving, while you're talking.

[06:34]

You wish to, and you kind of remember it, and after a while you get in the groove and be sort of like, you're really just talking. You're just eating. And you're there, and you're doing your eating, but you feel like you're doing it for the triple chakra. And it's just very ordinary, but you're not... You wouldn't be surprised if Buddha showed up. And you might be surprised, but it wouldn't be a fuzzy surprise. And you wouldn't feel like, oops, I wasn't on the job, sorry. I've been waiting for you, in a sense. Nice that you showed up, because I've been here for you. Welcome. So you're practicing intimately with everything you do. I think it's a big part of Soto Zen. And again, we have forms in our practice like ways of picking things up and putting them down. Like Dogen says, for example, when you put something away, put it back where you got it. That's a form. And we also teach joining the palms in a certain way.

[07:39]

So these are forms we do, but the point is not so much to make the forms. The point is that when you join your palms, you remember to do it as an act of manifesting the Buddha. And then we have these forms so that we can help each other. So that if I join my palms and I don't give my full attention to it, my teacher can see me and say, were you really present when you joined your palms at that time? And I can say, yes, or thank you, or no, I wasn't, but thank you. So we have these forms. so that we can help others, and others can help us, check out whether we're actually intimate with what we're doing. One of the first Zen stories I heard about, I don't know if this is a Soto Zen person, but he was a Zen monk. He went to visit his teacher. Actually, this guy had studied with his teacher for quite a few years, six to ten years, and he kind of graduated, and he left his teacher and came back to visit.

[08:50]

And then it was a rainy night. He came in to see the teacher, and he sat down and said, I hear, teacher. And the teacher said, which side of the doorway did you put your sandals, and which side of the door did you put your umbrella? And he didn't know. He wasn't there. OK, I'm putting my shoes here. He wasn't present when he did it. And he said, I don't know. And then he stayed and studied for six more years. So we don't actually have a form necessarily of putting your shoes on the left side of the door or the right side of the door, an umbrella. But we do have the practice of being intimate with wherever you put your shoes. So if you get questioned about where you put your shoes, you could say, I put them on the left side of the door, or I put them in the middle. Because you were there when it happened, and you enjoyed it.

[09:57]

So you have a memory imprint, because you were really there. And if you never got to see your teacher, if you died in the entryway putting your shoes down, you died happily, because you're there. When I was a kid, there was a TV show called You Are There. And they reenacted various historical scenes, like Cleopatra and Mark Antony, you know, poisoning themselves, or Socrates dying, or the discovery of Walton, various historical events. And then Walter Concord was the moderator, and he would say, well, here we are, blah, blah, blah, and we've seen this historical event. And everything, just as it was, except you are there. And I thought, I want to practice that way. So anyways, I'm not speaking for all, but my understanding of Soto Zen is very much about regular Zen, right?

[11:08]

Be there. Don't be distracted by the past or the future. Live your life right now, fully, intimately. And we have these forms to help us Learn how to do that in the temple. But the point is to do it everywhere. So when you go to your computer and you put your tea cup down or your coffee cup down, you put that coffee cup down or you pick that coffee cup up, eat them quick. And sometimes if you don't practice in a group or you don't have friends to practice with, you can go for hours and hours without really being intimate with anything you do. You can put cups down, pick them up, put pistols down, press buttons, talk on the telephone, without actually, my God, I'm here with you, a method. It's possible to go quite a long time without actually checking in on, of all things, your life.

[12:15]

So we have these forms to encourage that. And sure enough, even with those forms, we sometimes miss. And so there is job security for teachers and students to catch their teacher to see, hey, teacher, did you actually, did you, were you conscious when you sat in that seat just then? Did you feel your butt touch the cushion? Thank you. Or, I wouldn't dare you ask me. So that's the grandmother mind that I would like to emphasize. It's a really important part of Soto Zen. And on the feeling side, I just want to tell you that, again, it's not easy to practice intimately, because as you become more intimate, you start to have certain feelings like you start to feel vulnerable.

[13:18]

Because when you cut away past and future and all the distractions from being where you are, you start to realize how changeable everything is and how easily you can be hurt. Because you're like there. And you start to feel more vulnerable. You're not actually any more vulnerable right now than you were the last moment, as far as I know. You're not going to get more vulnerable. you're just going to become more aware of it. And if you're not used to feeling vulnerable, there's a challenge there to adjust to being aware of it. It's one of the nice things about getting older, is that you start naturally to feel more vulnerable. Teenage boys particularly, they think they're indestructible. So it's really hard for them to sometimes open to that. Even though if they would just sit still and talk to somebody, they'd feel very vulnerable. Start wiggling, talking, blah, blah, blah. They can actually do it. They just are usually unconscious of it.

[14:23]

It's not easy to feel your vulnerability. It's there all the time. Or another way to put it is to feel how tender you are. People are actually quite tender. You know, touch them, see what happens. If you're a big, strong boy, you touch them a little bit with a word, you know, a comment. Big, strong men, you know, really freak out when you just say a little thing to them sometimes. Because they're actually so tender, they don't even notice necessarily that you did. But people are tender and vulnerable. And when you become intimate, you start to feel that. And if you're not used to it, it's kind of... kind of a shock. But it's a sign that you're starting to open up to your life. As I mentioned to somebody today, Suzuki Roshi said that zazen is a great tenderizer. When you sit a lot, you become more tender.

[15:24]

At the end of a retreat, you're more tender, and that's part of what you have to watch out for now when you leave here. You're more tender. You get in your car and drive out on the highway, it's kind of like if somebody, like, popped in on you, right? Makes various obscene gestures to you. You're more tender. It might hurt more. Not it might hurt more. You might be aware of more how it probably hurts for someone to be rude to you, disrespectful, because you've taken down their shield by sitting. So when you're intimate, you're more aware of how painful it is when you're away, you're interactable. So that's kind of the price of admission to intimacy as you start to get in touch with your pain. It doesn't mean that everything's going to be ducking after that. It's just everything's going to be alive. So it doesn't mean you're off base when you start feeling vulnerable, it's just actually you're starting to wake up when you start to feel vulnerable.

[16:35]

You're starting to get actual first, you're starting to feel what likes to be an impermanent thing. To feel. Experience impermanence, actually, moment by moment. Rather than just, oh yeah, I know, I know. Another thing I wanted to say is, not everybody was here for morning service, but I asked us to chant the Pukan Zazengi, which is translated here as Universally Recommended Instructions for Zazen. And the people who did this translation, I said something to them about it, but they don't want to say what it actually says. or, you know, what I think really the meaning is of Zen is the word instruction is a translation of gi. Pukan means universal admonitions or universal... Or maybe, excuse me, maybe by kan they mean recommended instructions.

[17:49]

Yeah, so kan could be translated recommended instructions or recommended... Admonition, admonition. So fu is general, han is like recommended instructions or admonitions. Zazen is sitting meditation. If they don't translate yi, the last word, which is pretty important, it means ceremony. This is the universal instructions for the ceremony of sitting meditation. This is a ceremony being described here. In other words, you're making sitting meditation into a ritual, in this case. You're putting it in a form, and then he gives you the instructions on the form, and he tells you about the form. And so part of what I'm telling you, these instructions are another example of how the practice is a ceremony, is a ritual.

[18:54]

And another thing I want to draw your attention to is that Soto Zen, or Dogen Zen, Zazen, is a particular type of meditation. And in this text here, he says, once you have adjusted your posture, take a deep breath, inhale, exhale, Rock your body right and left and settle into a steady immobile sitting position. Settle into steady immobile sitting. And then he says, Think of not thinking. Not thinking, what kind of thinking is that? Non-thinking. This is the essential art of zazen. So for Dogen, in this text and I think other places too.

[20:02]

The zazen he's talking about is this kind of zazen, where you think of not thinking. How do you think of not thinking of non-thinking? Then he says a little bit later, the zazen I'm talking about is not meditation practice. And I think what you mean by meditation practice is what we sometimes call shamatha practice or tranquility practice. But I would like to say that although he said the zazen I'm talking about just then, that's the essential part of zazen, is not tranquility practice. But tranquility practice is an important ingredient in all of Buddhist practice, including Dogen Zen. It's just that what he just talked about, that the essential art is not tranquility practice. And if you look before, just before he talked about the essential art comes out of Zen, just before that, he was actually giving you instruction in tranquility practice.

[21:11]

He said, settle into a steady and mobile sitting. And then before that he gave you other instructions which are tranquility practice instructions. Tranquility practice instructions are instructions about how to let go of discursive thought. So he says, Put aside all involvements. Suspend all affairs. Put aside all involvements. Put aside discursive thought. Suspend thinking about your daily life. Do not think of good quotes or bad quotes. Do not judge true and false. Give up the operations of the mind, consciousness, and intellect. Stop measuring with thoughts, ideas, and views. This is tranquility practice. This is instruction on how to calm down. So he actually, first of all, he gave instructions on tranquility. Then he says, once you've achieved this, then do this practice.

[22:13]

And this practice of not thinking or non-thinking, this is a practice, this is an insight practice. And this is the essential art. The essential art in this text is insight practice. And then he says again, the insight practice I'm teaching is not tranquility practice. Okay? So, those people asked me about Zen center or Zen practice, and they said, well, what meditation do they do? And in fact, in a lot of Zen centers, a lot of Zen institutions are practicing tranquility. And there's various ways to practice tranquility. The way Dogen teaches practicing tranquility is by suggesting that you give up the operations of mind, consciousness, and intellect. That's the way he can do it. If you give up, if you're sitting, if you're doing the ritual of sitting, and you're sitting, and you give up the operations of mind, consciousness, and intellect, then you're sitting, training in tranquility.

[23:14]

So, in Soto Zen, Dogen does teach tranquility. He does not teach following the breath, accounting the breath. Dogen does it. However, some Zen teachers do. But that teaching of following the breath and this teaching of tranquility which he's giving here is not reading Zen teaching. It's not Soto Zen. Soto Zen people teach tranquility, but it's just the same tranquility that's taught all around the planet in other forms of Zen, in other forms of Buddhism, and in yoga. Tranquility practice is really just a yoga practice which applies to all people. Where is the Zen instruction in this text? The Zen instruction, what's actually Zen meditation, is think of not thinking. How do you think of not thinking? Non-thinking. That's the Zen part. And the reason why it's Zen is not because of Vipassana, because Vipassana is also taught all over the Buddhist tradition.

[24:16]

The reason why it's Zen is because it's the words of a Zen teacher. It's actually a Zen story. So Zen, when people use Zen stories to teach meditation, that's Zen meditation, in a sense. That's what makes it Zen, is that it's the words of a Zen teacher. And when did that Zen teacher give that words? He was just in his daily life sitting, somebody comes up to him and talks to him, and intimate conversation with his student, the Zen teaching comes out. And then that Zen teaching we just came up through the relationship, then that becomes, for centuries afterwards, instruction in essential art. So this is one of Dogen's favorite Zen meditation instructions. Maybe his most favorite. And there's earlier versions of this text where he gave other teachings at that point in the text.

[25:18]

But in this version of this text, there's the Zen teaching, there's the Soto Zen teaching. And it's the instruction in the form of a conversation between a Soto Zen master and a student. And then that instruction becomes the instruction and wisdom used after that. So part of what makes a Zen teaching, two ways it gets to be a Zen teaching. One is that the teaching which has been transmitted, which are basically conversations that occurred in the past or are said to have occurred in the past, or it's a conversation that comes up. It's a conversation that comes up between the student teacher and the present. And the conversations that happen in intimacy are really the stuff of transmitting intimacy. Transmitting and verifying intimacy is through conversation. That may be true in all forms of Buddhism, but it's really characteristic of Zen.

[26:22]

Intimacy, to realize intimacy between all of us and all the Buddhists, to realize the intimacy of unenlightened beings and enlightened beings is realized through conversation. It isn't just realized by you sitting in a cushion and feeling deep confidence that there's no duality, between you and Buddha, which is a wonderful feeling. It's not that part of it, that when you're sitting and walking, you feel the Buddha's with you. When you're sitting and walking, you feel even with all beings. That's part of it. But another part of it, a big part of it, is when you start talking to people, to verify it, to see it when you have a conversation, you can feel it too. See, so part of it is you sit there and you verify the non-duality of enlightenment and delusion. of ordinary and whole, of sentient being and Buddha. You feel that, you have confidence in that, and then you go talk to somebody.

[27:25]

You usually start with the teacher, go talk to somebody and have a conversation and see if the conversation also verifies. The teacher might say, You know, I still feel a little duality in the way you're talking about this. Or I get the feeling like you still think you're separate from me. or separate from the Buddhists. Even though you're telling them you don't, the way you say it, it sounds kind of hollow. You sound like a bonnie. And then see if you still feel intimate with the person when they're calling you a bonnie. And then you do, you say, oh, wow, that was great. That's just what I needed. And then, poof. And then the teacher says, I changed my mind. You're fine. Don't hit me again, please. You're too strong. And then that gets written down, and then it becomes a meditation instruction, the Zen meditation instruction, that interaction. So, in Zen centers, you have people following their breath, counting their breath, and sometimes they get instructed to do some, sometimes they hear about it.

[28:29]

It's okay. It's allowed to practice, tranquility practice in Zen centers. But the tranquility practice isn't really Zen. It's pan-Buddhist. Not only just pan-Buddha, pan-yoga. And so it's practiced in Zen centers, in Vipassana centers, in Vajrayana centers, in Shambhala centers, in yoga centers. It's a universal human activity. It's a wonderful thing. It's very helpful. And we need it. And Buddha was totally committed to that practice, and he recommended it to his monks. But what he taught his monks was nothing new. He learned that before he was enlightened. And so it's just part of the accomplishment that we have that yoga practice. A particular thing that Buddha taught, however, some of the things he taught me, I never saw before. And some of his disciples also taught things which were never seen before.

[29:30]

And the things that the Zen teachers came up with, that we've never seen before. Those are the Zen teachings. And most of the stuff is what came up when they're interacting with their students, just like Shakyamuni. Most of his teachings were basically just came out of his interaction. I often say to people, you know, I don't walk around the street talking like this. Usually when I'm walking around, I'm actually quiet. So I'm not even thinking much. Just walking around. But I don't go down the street mad at anyone. But when I get in a situation like this, as you see, I talk quite a bit. But when it's over, I shut up. I think Shakyamuni was also quiet when nobody was around. Occasionally I'd say, wow. But anyway, he was quiet most of the time. His name was Muni. That was his name, Muni, which means quiet one. He was the fount one of the Shakya clan. But he was also talkative in certain teaching settings, quite talkative.

[30:33]

And his talk is, you know, one of the best things that ever happened on this planet for everybody, for the humans and the squirrels and the cockroaches and the mosquitoes. Republicans. I think it's good to not really say Republicans, but rather George Bush. He's not really Republicans. It's just him and his friends. They're not Republicans. There's a certain group of people that are I think a condition, that one condition, which we hope if that condition was changed, that certain horrors would be modified. But it isn't made, it didn't make the Republicans, so it's not the Republicans. The Republicans should vote for somebody else too. They shouldn't vote for this person.

[31:36]

So please get Ohio to vote for somebody other than George Bush, please. Pennsylvania, too. Please get Pennsylvania to vote for somebody else. Go over to Michigan. That would be nice, too. You got the whole speech. Thank you. And Illinois. You know, maybe I'm asking too much for Kentucky, but anyway, it seems like there's a possibility to get Ohio to go to vote somebody else for president. Somebody to get us out of Iraq. So please do that when you're not in the center. Lori says we already got Illinois in the right direction. And then there's Minnesota, I guess, is also kind of iffy. And to some extent, I feel like, especially the Bay Area, it's kind of like I'm wasting my breath to say anything, but who knew that California could go black hole?

[32:51]

Here in California, we have to, like, have a resident. So I just, I wonder if that is, whether you agree with me or not, is it clear what I'm saying? About what Zen is? I have one question. Yeah. So does Zen? In said practice, you stated with none thinking. Correct. I'm saying that in this text, when Dorian shifts from his instruction on tranquility practice, he shifts at the point of saying, think of not thinking. How do you think of not thinking? Non-thinking. I'm saying that that is instruction in Vipassana. That's insight instruction in this text. In this text. And then he says, this is the essential art of zazen. So in this text, the place he's pointing to the essential art of zazen Of course, you could push this description of the essential art of development back further if you wanted to, and you could say, it includes being in tranquility.

[34:05]

And then practice an insight, according to this instruction. He follows up by saying, I'm not teaching you meditation. So I think he's kind of saying, the essential part is the insight, the wisdom part. But I just taught you the tranquility part. So that's the context. The essence of it, the place where things are going to turn, is in this insight instruction. And insight instruction is based on the pinnacle of rising? Insight instruction is instruction to help you understand the pinnacle of rising. So that insight meditation, It's insight meditation. Yes. When you take, if a thought comes in, then you contemplate on how that dependently co-arisen might go on more or less. Yes. Meditating on dependent co-arising is an insight meditation.

[35:09]

Tranquility meditation is you're not meditating on dependent co-arising. You're letting go of thinking about teachings. You're letting go of thinking about anti-teachings. You're letting go of all your discursive thought. But when you take your discursive thought and then apply it to a teaching, like teaching of the pinnacle arising, and teaching about how to understand the pinnacle arising and observe the pinnacle arising, now you're using your thinking to contemplate the teachings. Now you're doing insight practice. Now, using discursive thought is not necessarily insight practice, because just sitting there and thinking about whatever is not necessarily insight practice. But in particular, listening to in your mind a reading or listening to with your ear teachings about the nature of reality, for example, that all things are dependent co-arising, listening to that and thinking about that, that's insight meditation, that's wisdom meditation. And that's what Dogen's pointing to, but instead of saying dependent co-arising,

[36:13]

He tells you a Zen story, which is doing the same thing, but just in a Zen way, rather than the way the Buddha talked. He's talking the way a Zen teacher talks. So you're getting a different Zen instruction than Insight Meditation. But if you study this same statement here, I suggest to you that you're really going to be studying Dependent Core Rising, because to make a long story short, I would suggest to you that my Dogan story, Non-Thinking, He means meditate on dependent core rising. Did you have a hand raised over there? Yes. I was kind of curious how this relates to different kinds of samadhis that one might read about. Yes. Like I was thinking about, sometimes samadhis are described in very specific ways, like in Avatamsaka Sutra, and I wondered if if that is a particular kind of one-pointedness, but a meditation on a particular thing like suchness, that that's what they're referring to.

[37:18]

In this particular text? Not just one, but just kind of in general. Well, um... Or a token. Yeah, that's a good thing. Basically, you know, I should say, ultimately, all the insight meditations are kind of trying to cozy up with suchness. Because, actually, intimacy is suchness. Suchness is intimacy. Suchness is the way everything's intimate. The way everything's intimate is suchness. And meditating on intimacy, or the way everything's intimate, is a way to approach meditation on suchness. Meditation on suchness is a way to approach meditation on intimacy. And this practice here, think of not thinking, how do you think of not thinking, not thinking, that's a meditation on suchness. That's also a meditation on intimacy.

[38:20]

Now, it's basically the same as some of these other samadhis which you can read about in this book, for example, the Precious Mirror Samadhi. It's also about the intimacy between various things I've mentioned. It's intimacy between light and dark. It's the intimacy between teacher and student. It's the intimacy between relative and absolute. So that's also a book that starts out by saying the teaching of suchness or the teaching of thusness, that's what's being taught in that samadhi. So concentrating on those words in that text is a way to induce the samadhi of suchness. And that was written by a Zen teacher, so in that sense it would be a Zen meditation to meditate on a poem written by a Zen teacher. So people meditate on that, and then you're doing Zen meditation of the suchness type, which is a wisdom meditation. But this short little story here also

[39:23]

an inducement to meditation assumptions. So in a sense, all the Mahayana samadhis are tending towards meditation assumptions. Yes, Michael? It is for Shikantaza. Say it again? Shikantaza. Yes. That's part of it. Shikantaza. Sometimes there's basically two ways to think about that I've been talking about, shikantaza. One way is when you're just sitting in intimacy. That's shikantaza. When you're sitting and you don't feel any duality between the subject that's sitting and the body that's sitting. You've given up the sense of duality between your awareness of your body and your body. When you're sitting, and there's just your body sitting, and there's no subject separate from your body sitting, you're just the body sitting, then we have just sitting.

[40:33]

Just the body sitting. But that means that you've entered into such intimacy with the body, that there's no sense of a subject separate from the music. That's just sitting. That's one way to understand just sitting. The other way to understand just sitting I said, no, let it be that. And then the other aspect of the practice is go see the teacher to verify that you'd actually attained just-sickness. So see if you can go see the teacher and then do the same thing with the teacher that you were doing with your body. See if you can meet the teacher and have her just be the teacher. You've got you and the teacher. And if the teacher says, you know, something to you, see if you can listen to that without making that something out there separate from yourself. Then you can verify... The feeling of sitting, whether it's just sitting, it verifies that in a conversation. So the conversation with the teacher is a way to test whether you really are practicing just sitting.

[41:39]

So another way, also, I was recently quoted as saying, among the various teachers of just sitting, Suzuki Roshi was unique in teaching that just sitting, shinkantaza, was just to be yourself. I hadn't heard other teachers say that, that particular way. So when you're just being yourself, and being yourself isn't anything dual, that's just it. And that's the same as intimacy. And that's the same as, now I'm thinking. That's the same as meditating on the Pentecostal writing. If you meditate on the Pentecostal writing and you understand it, you understand that there's nothing happening separate from you. And you're not separate from anything. Particularly separation. So all these meditations are different ways to get at the same suchness. In other words, the same way things really are.

[42:42]

And the way they are is that everything exists only in dependence on other things. The only way anything exists is dependently. That's the first way that things are. And the second way that things are, the ultimate way that they are, is that anything, even what I just said about the way things are, doesn't reach the way they are. But the way they are is never reached by anything anybody thinks or says about anything. And the absence of anybody's ideas, or put it, I'll just say it that way, the absence of anybody's ideas about even what dependent colorizing is or suchness is, or just sitting is, like I just told you about just sitting, but really, just sitting is like never reached by anything I just said about it. Anything we say or think about is absent, and that absence is the ultimate way of just sitting is, you are, I am. Another way I like is that all things are innocent of any concept you have about them. That's just sitting, too.

[43:47]

Okay? Are you just sitting? I hope so. I want you to. Yes? So if I come to see you, and I say I am just sitting, If you're not, you really can't tell whether I am or not. Well, actually, if I'm not just sitting, then I might think my opinion about you sitting is really the way you are. And I might think you're not just sitting, and I might think you are sitting. But if I believe that what I think of you is what you are, then I'm not just sitting. But if I was just sitting, I also wouldn't be able to tell. If I'm not just sitting, I might think that you are or are not just sitting. But if I believed that, and if I wasn't just sitting, I would think that that was true or false. I would be caught by that.

[44:51]

But if I was just sitting, any idea I've had about whether you're sitting or not, I wouldn't go for. So I wouldn't know that you were just sitting. However, I would be intimate with you. at that time, and something would happen between us. A tear would roll down my cheek, you know, or drool would come out of my mouth, you know. Something would arise from that intimacy, but not me. The main thing is not me sitting over there thinking, oh, Amy's practicing just sitting. But I still might say, if the words came out of your mouth, is this just sitting? The word might come out of my mouth, yes. Or it might come out, who cares? Or it might come out, your name's Amy. Or it might come out, hi. Anything can come out of that space. and we both can enjoy it in intimacy of our just sitting together. But we're not into grasping our opinions of each other at that point.

[45:53]

Even though we have opinions floating around, coming up out of our brain about what's going on, that still may be going on, but neither one of us are thinking that our opinions are what's happening anymore when we're just sitting. We're not, you know, because we're understanding dependent co-arising at that time. That doesn't mean... So we're not really into, like, well, I know whether she's sitting or not sitting or just sitting or sort of sitting. Those thoughts may be there, but I'm not identifying with them or disidentifying with them. They're just floating around the room. They're like the birds in the trees and a fan of the sea. It's like not something to grab onto. And yet, if you come and say something, I may say something back. And when we say that, that deepens our mutual realization. We feel like, wow, that worked too. Amazing. So there is this unfoldment and confirmation without anybody like grasping discursive thought.

[46:57]

So discursive thought is not the criterion. What's the criterion is this, the criterion is what we call the self-fulfilling samadhi. It's this awareness of how we're fulfilling each other. That's the criterion. So you have just sitting, I have just sitting maybe, if we're lucky, and when we get together we have another just sitting together, and that's a deeper just sitting. So we also have this teaching in Soto Zen coming from the Lotus Sutra. So this isn't Zen, this is the Lotus Sutra, which is that only a Buddha and a Buddha can thoroughly exhaust the Dharma. So if you realize suchness, that's great. If I realize suchness, that's great. When we come together and realize it together, that's necessary for the deeper realization. Because we want to share this with the whole universe. So it's two people together practicing suchness. That's the complete picture in the practice. It isn't just one person realizing suchness. That person goes and meets a friend who also is committed to that practice, and then we see if they can mutually verify.

[48:07]

And they may say nothing, or they may exchange tears, or they may exchange laughter. What attracted me to Zen was exchanging laughter. They exchange non-duality, they exchange non-attachment, they exchange compassion, they share all these things, and nobody's grasping anything, and everybody's like being born and dying together. But that can happen. There's no limit to the way that can manifest. But it can be verified that such people are happy, fearless, generous, flexible, beneficent, etc. That's the way it is. And when they're not that way, they're just sitting. They lost it for a while. People do lose it.

[49:11]

You can get there and then step out. Some people get there and kind of like get to a state of development where they don't step anymore, apparently. But most people probably have had no taste once in a while and question it then. As it says at the end of the Precious Mere Samadhi, when you achieve continuity. So I teach you about this teaching of satsang, the samadhi of concentrating on the teaching of satsang. But then, because we got to now, let's see if we can have continuity in this. That's the biggest thing. For how long? For how long? How long? Continuity. It means continuity. But even the greatest Zen masters usually only claim it after about 40 or 45 years of practice. And some other people, even after 45 years of practice, haven't got continuity.

[50:16]

But you get little visitations, which is great. Big encouragement. But it says also at the end of the... self-fulfilling samadhi, which we read on, I guess, on Monday's service here, Saturday's service, if all the Buddhas in the ten directions gathered all their wisdom together, they would not be able to measure the merit of one person's zazen, you know, completely. How does it put... You can measure the merit of people's zazen, but you can't completely measure the merit of one person's zazen, even if all the Buddhas tried. There's no limit to it. They would not be able to fully comprehend it.

[51:22]

If all the Buddhists tried to measure the merit of one person's object, they would not be able to comprehend it. But also if somebody tried to measure the demerit of one person's self, they wouldn't fully comprehend it. You can't fully comprehend anything because the way things are is beyond our grasp. That doesn't mean that things are beyond your grasp. You can't be devoted to and kind to and love. my grandson's beyond my grasp, and I can be devoted to him. I can't get him, but I can be devoted to him. But if you think things are in your grasp, then this can interfere with your devotion. You can still be devoted to things, even if you don't think you can grasp them. But the idea that you can grasp them kind of erodes the enjoyment of your devotion. So again, remembering that things are undrastable, is meditation on the pinnacle of rising.

[52:26]

And that helps you be appropriately devoted to beings. Anything else you want to bring up this morning? Yes? You stated that you never answered the question why. Did I hear that right as to it? I didn't say I never do. I just said I don't. You don't? I didn't say never. I just said I don't. Can you elaborate? You notice I didn't use the word. I generally think that in spiritual practice, why questions, if I start answering them, I generally find that it goes into kind of like a philosophical depression, excuse the expression. I think it's better to say how. How does this work, rather than why? It's, you know, just generally... And children say, why, which is, you know... And then... But as you know, sometimes you answer, then they just ask again, and pretty soon you start to get a headache.

[53:42]

But if they say how, somehow, it doesn't seem to cause the same... problem in the brain. How do we practice? I have no problem. But why do we practice? What do you mean, why do we practice? You tell me. Because then you say, what, what, and then what? No what, no what, but what? It tends to go that way. And it seems to be, usually it's a little bit off center. In science, is into why. And I don't want to be separate from science. Actually, I should say a lot of scientists think they're into why. But I really think it's better for science to get into how. But a lot of scientists like why. I, in my work, I find it's better to say how. And when I tell my wife when she asks me why questions, I say I don't answer why questions, and she says, yes, you do.

[54:46]

And I say, yes, I do. Your answer to my question? Yeah. After saying that you don't answer what questions, you did answer one question. It was a little... Well, the thing was, I can be... I'm totally... I'm not under control. I can't control myself. I just occasionally say, I don't answer that. But then you see, I do, but I just say that. It's like I say a lot of other stuff. It's not what I do. It's what I say. I just wondered what your thought process was. Do you know now? Yes. Okay. Very helpful. Can I add to that? Can you? Sure. Because one of the things I've noticed having heard this many times, I don't answer white questions, is that it puts the questioner or the student in the position of thinking what the question really is, because often it's not really why, it's kind of shorthand, for I have a question, why, blah, blah, blah. And then you think, well, am I asking how, or am I asking what is the cause, or I mean, what are the conditions, or... Is there more to what you just said?

[55:49]

Would you elaborate? I mean, so it actually makes the question more specific. So in other words, using the word why is sort of the easy way out. Sometimes it's the first thing we reach for. And then I stop and think, well, how to put the question without, you know, so that I can maybe get an answer. Then I think, well, what am I really asking for in this? that we do not care for weeds is also Buddha's activity, though. Because when you're not caring for the weeds, the Buddha nature is lacking in that. And it isn't abundant in that. It's just there. So he said we should accept weeds despite how we feel about them. If you do not care for them, If you do not care for them, do not love them. If you love them, then love them. So this is .

[56:51]

I thought that's great mind. Great mind can remember that all things, Buddha nature, is pervading everything. The spring winds, the summer frost, insults and craze, wooden etchings pervading it all. And then the question's basically, let's get intimate. Whatever's happening, let's get intimate with it. It's not like some things are worthy to get intimate with and others aren't. But at the same time, intimate with a poisoned snake doesn't mean necessarily you put your hand in it. You might be intimate about six feet away and just be really intimate with it, which means that you don't believe you're separate. But it's not good for the snake or you.

[57:52]

The snake doesn't really want to bite you because it loses its teeth often enough. The snake doesn't want to bite you. And you don't want to be bit by them. But you do want to be intimate with them, and they want to be intimate with you. And they'd rather not do it by biting you. They'd rather be intimate with you at a distance. They'd like you to stay away, actually. Now you say, what about those boar constrictors that like to eat people? They also want to be intimate. They want to get you inside. But, you know, it's a bilateral situation, this intimacy thing, and you say, no thanks, I appreciate the way you want to, like, just eat me up, but I don't want to. And I really want you to, like, agree to that form, would you? And sometimes they do, and sometimes they don't. Great sages probably can get the bones constrictors to relax and, like, pass up on their evidence. Okay, anything else you want to bring up today?

[58:55]

This morning, anyone? Oh, yeah, one more meeting after lunch. Does anybody have to go before lunch? I mean, before the final meeting after lunch? Yeah, we do. You have to go? Well, I am for the end of it. Huh? You have to go? It's late at 1.30. It's late at 1.30? Okay. Well... Is that everything you're going to do about Haiku? Yeah. We can meet at... If everybody's got their Haiku, we can do them now. Or we can do them at 1 o'clock. I have mine, but I don't know if I like it. I don't know.

[59:55]

Does anybody not have those that would like to have theirs by 1 o'clock? I don't get it. Huh? I don't get it. Do you want to do it now, or do you want to do it after lunch? Okay. 1 o'clock. We can do it at 1. You can leave it at 1.30. Huh? It seems like a generous place to do it. We could take a little stretch while people pick them up. Maybe some people would like to write them. Oh, maybe so. How many people would like to do it now? How many people want to do it at one? One. One person want to do it at one? Two people. How many people want to do it now? How many people want to do it? How many people want to do it? Young people will do it whether you want them or not.

[60:57]

Is there anything else? Yes? I have a question about the form. Yes. What is the form again? I wrote one that I'm not sure if I used the right form. The form is, the first line is five syllables, second line is seven, third line is five. So 17 syllables in total. And, of course, the lines really don't mean much, but it's sort of like when they write them, I think they write in those lines, but when you say it, it just all flows together. And it's supposed to be, again, about concrete things. There can be plenty of feeling evoked, but you don't actually say necessarily sad or happy. Just a picture is the way you convey the feeling of poignancy or nostalgia or grief or whatever. I didn't understand this until after I'd done mine.

[62:00]

I was thinking it was three separate sentences. It could be. It doesn't have to be. But someone else explained to me that it could just wrap kind of around. It could be one sentence. Yeah. It could even be more than three. You know, you could make a two-syllable sentence and then a three-syllable sentence in the first line. It could be a wrap. Are there rules for it, too? Aren't there many, many rules for it? No, it's like it should be a seasonal thing. It should go to the lake. It should be spring, fall. Wabi-sabi. Wabi-sabi means... in Japanese, something beautiful yet ugly at the same time. I'm sorry.

[63:00]

I believe that's what I was going to ask you. I don't know. It's enough for this. It's enough for this. All I'm asking is three lines, 70 syllables. And actually, it doesn't have to be really 70 syllables. But it really doesn't have to be eight, nine syllables, because we won't get through. The nice thing about this haiku is that a group can go through it pretty quickly. And they're not too difficult to write. Is there anything else they're not going to be doing? I wanted just to say that the retreats like this require a lot of effort, a lot of work and planning.

[64:05]

And I don't know who did all the work, but I'm pretty sure that Nancy Wolf did quite a bit of work. And I'm pretty sure that Jenny did quite a bit of work. And I'm pretty sure that Matt did quite a bit of work. I don't know who else did quite a bit of work, but she did mention in particular. But for those three, that's why I say, great work. Thank you. And if you organize another one of these things, I'm sure we'd like to come back and join you again. So it's been a really well cared for event, well organized, generously organized. Thank you. Anybody else you want to mention? We need to dig up all these people. Oh, yes, the room.

[65:09]

And thank you all who did other things, too, like... Brannigan brought these flower arrangements. Really nice. Thank you. And Lynn brought all those roses from her garden. Thank you. And a number of you brought your friends. Thank you. I'd like to thank John for helping out so much in the kitchen. Yeah, thank you, John. Really showing that spirit of joyfulness and generosity. Yesterday, we were washing dishes, and one of the pans had done something to really burn out some grease on the pan, and John was scrubbing away back there, and I went and I said, I'm sorry that I burned it on so much. And he looked up and he said, this pant is my only child. But then he said, my next child will be cut by COVID. Thank you for your great, great effort.

[66:10]

Thank John for listening to the teaching. Well, I guess I might add this. The people with Stillpoint, who really gave us a lot of support, especially initially when we were completely clueless about how to even start, and their support throughout this, and for allowing us, pathing on the torch to us this year, and giving us this opportunity to host this retreat, because they have been doing this traditionally for several years at this time, so... I'm really grateful it worked out. You gave the opportunity. You can. Yes. While we're thinking, I have this moment at breakfast this morning where I felt like Stillpoint was the mother. I was in my practice and training life before Stillpoint gave birth to me. And I felt like Stillpoint was and is my mother.

[67:27]

Thank you. Thank you. I have one more piece of gratitude to all the participants. I know that work practice seemed a bit grueling, but we had so many people to take care of, and everyone showed up for their shift. Or if they did, I know it was a mistake. But I really appreciate it, because there's no way that... That's what happened. If everyone didn't show up, how about even when you weren't supposed to show up? I know. Bob came one day. Would you like some help? I'm like, yeah. I'll be watching the audition. So thank you all. It really is a group effort for everyone here.

[68:30]

Or should we do some water meditation? May our attention be where we are at here at the opening of the blackened place with the truth we have come to get at this place. Thank you. That's it. But some people actually don't want their age to go right to catch their air impulse. So, yeah. Do you have any final announcements?

[69:48]

At this moment, I don't know. Maybe afterwards I'll have to let out. There's one or two. I don't have one. I'll still have to wait for you guys. Oh, for Cameron? Oh, sorry. They didn't want the big picture. Oh, the roof picture. Yeah. Okay, well, I got to go to bed. I need to rest. Okay. Because I'm worried. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. How do we want to go to bed? I do. We're going to go out and rehearse. I'll go first. Blue heron tiptoes. Circumambulating pond. Gulp. Gulp brought the breath. Actually, stop. Hold on. Okay. Another second. Tamari almonds.

[70:51]

Smushed with raisins in my mouth. Oh, I like it. Okay. Crescent moon. It looms on its morning father. Hold camp. We're nursing secrets. Next. Thinking head on grass. Neck is poked by blades of grass. Buzz. Mosquito. Eater. Um. This one's entitled, Grandfather. Playing, laughing, jumping, running. Grandfathers have a way of making life worth living. Will you be my grandfather? Green lovers, green frogs, stood up like players to mess.

[71:58]

Fun was built. Cocktails, lily pads, riding farts, the whole time six, no sound, flying, moving 20. This one's entitled, Our Life Shook Gone on 6-7-2004. On Rhett's mirrored face, the playful, light delusions, he smiles, nothing claims. I've got my 17-year-old that told me that. Rhett, Jenny, Matt, Nancy, other song members too. One song opened. Right. Sunlight falls on dew.

[73:02]

Moonlight glows through wispy clouds. Wisdom flows through all. At the end of the day, we'll meet. In the sky, the days will fill the clouds. Presence, absence, wake. Late lunch arises. Hungry beads fouling. Tom meets Sarah Crowley. I'm not lying. We'll surprise somebody. No, no, no. This is kind of my side of the relationship. The great eastern sun shines from you, then from me too. Currently, I bow. Gossamer wall sways, golden candle shadows dance, strikers steal fights.

[74:17]

Walking in sunlight, two students are in the field. Who are they? Silent eyes walking, children on the ploy to sleep, Grandma was waking Putney. Eagles fly. I'm free. The weasels never get sucked in the jet engines. Bowie and Alice seeking intimate swingers. We can and Fred, we can call. Sitting in the line with a cool breeze in the doorway on my left.

[75:45]

Squirt your foot. I go, score somersaults. Smug. Squelch exes are a talent we... Put... [...] Mouth somewhat golden.

[76:48]

Words seem to be counting. Stagnifying what? Thank you, everybody, for giving me the homework. Hey, Bob, why don't you sing that song you sang the other night? I mean, would you? The one he wrote. I am the earth and air. I am every breath.

[77:50]

I am everything. I am your voice and what you say. I am your singing. You're all that works with me and more. I am what you give me, for I am the Son of God and of the Holy Spirit.

[78:23]

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