As you may have heard many times, sometimes Zen is, the Zen school, the Zen tradition is characterized as a special transmission outside the scriptures. Many of you have heard that, right? And so one time, I heard that one time in China our ancestor Dogen asked his teacher, his Chinese teacher, Ru Jing, about this phrase. What's the phrase? The phrase is a special transmission. Yeah, so special transmission and also outside the scriptures. And the next part, not depending on words. a special transmission outside the scriptures, not depending on words.

[01:06]

So he asked his teacher, what does that mean? And the teacher said, this outside the scripture means not inside or outside the scriptures. This transmission, this communication, This communion, Zen is a communion. It's a transmission. It's a communion. It's an intimate interaction among all beings. And it's not inside or outside anything, including the scriptures. So we have this transmission. That's not inside the scriptures and not outside the scriptures. And also, in this tradition, many of us praise, read, recite, memorize, and discuss scriptures.

[02:19]

But we do that in order to realize the special transmission that's outside and inside and neither So now for some time, we've been discussing this great sutra. Did I say your name, Linda? Welcome, Linda. We've been discussing a scripture called, did I say your name, Tracy? We've been discussing a scripture called the Flower Adornment Scripture. And many of you have been attending these discussion groups. And for now, I'm wishing to continue this discussion for about eight more years.

[03:20]

I've committed to 10 years. And we've done more than two years now. And in this study, by the way, there has surfaced in various wonderful people resistance to this study. And right now I feel like resistance to this study is also resistance to this so-called special transmission of the Zen school and also special It has also double meaning in that special, it's only this. So it's special. But it's really special because it's everything. It's a transmission of everything to everything. It's a transmission of everything to each thing. That's the Zen transmission. And that's the transmission of the scripture. The scripture is a transmission of each thing to everything.

[04:26]

and everything to each thing. It's the transmission of everything to each of you, and it's the transmission of each of you to everything, every being. So that might be really simple and really clear, and also very difficult to understand, and also very difficult to trust. So I'm offering you this opportunity, if it's possible, to discuss and look into this teaching for about eight more years. Now, in the first two years, we have gone through quite a bit of the text. And in the last meeting we had here online, which I think was July 26th, and many of you were here at that time, we talked about chapter 14 of this scripture.

[05:52]

So... Just to give you some context, because today I'd like to start chapter 15. So chapter 13 of this scripture is called Ascent, the Ascent to Mount Samaru. So there's this great mountain in this world, and there actually is a mountain called Meru, which is very difficult to climb. I think there's a movie called Meru about these people who climbed Meru, which I think is like... in India or on the border of India and Pakistan or something. Anyway, it's very difficult to climb a mountain called Meru, or in Buddhism we say Mount Sumeru. There's a great called Polar Mountain in the cosmology of early Buddhism. And so in the scripture, chapter 13 says that there's a palace on top of this mountain where Indra, or sometimes it's a chakra, lives.

[06:54]

And Indra, the king or the monarch, the sovereign of all the gods, invited the Buddha to ascend the mountain and enter the palace. That's chapter 13. And the Buddha did ascend the mountain and did enter the palace. And also... innumerable Buddhas throughout space and time also entered, climbed up, ascended Mount Sumeros all over the universe and entered palaces all over the universe. And of course, when Buddhas come, everybody comes with them. So with those Buddhas are a very, very, very, very extensive assembly of bodhisattvas. And bodhisattvas are people like you, as I've mentioned before.

[08:00]

You are all bodhisattvas, according to certain bodhisattvas, who say you're all bodhisattvas, and you will become Buddhas. So this great assembly of one Buddha with innumerable bodhisattvas and also with innumerable Buddhas. That's the context of this assembly. And then in chapter 14, we have what's called the praises or eulogies up on the peak of Mount Sumerian. So it's about the praises and eulogies that are given on all of these peaks to all these Buddhas with all these bodhisattvas. Just like today, there's been some praise already in this assembly. Did you notice the praise?

[09:05]

I started by saying, an unsurpassed, penetrating and perfect dharma is rarely met with even in a hundred thousand million kalpas. having it to see and listen to, to remember and accept. We vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. That was a praise of the teaching of the Buddha. And it was a praise of the Buddha. And I hope it was done with care and respect. Now today, and also the title of the assembly on the 26th, the title of that meeting is Ways of Praising and Seeing and Not Seeing Buddha.

[10:11]

So the name of the chapter is basically Eulogies on Mosumero. eulogies and praise of Buddha. But also besides praising the Buddha, the chapter goes over and over again about ways that we don't see Buddhas and ways that we do see Buddhas. So you can look at that chapter and you can also look at that talk which discusses ways that we don't see Buddha right in front of us right now. and ways that we can see Buddha right in front of us, right now. For example, you can see Buddha in every person if you do the practices described in chapter 14. And in particular, I just mentioned one of those chapters, one of those verses. It's mostly verses, which is the Buddha...

[11:15]

Dharma cannot be perceived. The Buddha Dharma cannot be perceived. Understanding that is called perceiving the Buddha Dharma. That's one of them. And seeing Buddha Dharma is seeing Buddha. And seeing Buddha is freeing all beings. So you can check out that talk and read chapter 14 if you watch it. Now chapter 15 is called, today I'd like to talk about chapter 15, begin to talk about chapter 15. I'm going to give an overview and I'm also going to land on a few particulars. But I won't be able to do much in this short meeting. But I'll start. Chapter 15 of the Flower Adornment Scripture. Are you ready to hear this about this chapter?

[12:16]

Yeah, good. I see some smiles. Yeah, mostly smiles. I don't see any resistance right now. It's amazing. Anyway, here it is. Chapter 15 is called... What's it called? It's called The Ten Abodes. The Ten Abodes of what? The Ten Abodes of Bodhisattvas. For example, it's the ten abodes of you. It's your ten abodes on your path to Buddhahood. Okay, so again, I just want to remind you, chapter 14, about the eulogies on Mount Sumeru. And in that chapter, there were ten bodhisattvas from ten directions who did the eulogies and who explained how to see Buddha. And the first of them is called Dharma Wisdom Bodhisattva.

[13:26]

Dharma Wisdom Bodhisattva. This is a very important name, which is the first Bodhisattva mentioned in chapter 14. And then nine more are mentioned. Now in chapter 15, get ready for this. This is a big one. Chapter 15 starts with, at that time. That's the first thing it says. Now, some people clearly, I think, translate it. Instead of at that time, he says then. That's okay. Zen. At that time. At what time? At the time of this great assembly. What great assembly? The assembly on Mount Sumeru. With the Buddha and all the Bodhisattvas. At that time... There were these ten bodhisattvas, and the first was named Dharma Wisdom Bodhisattva. Chapter 50 starts.

[14:28]

At that time, Dharma Wisdom Bodhisattva. So it probably would be helpful to the universe if you would learn that name and venerate that name, Dharma Wisdom Bodhisattva. Thomas clearly translates as truth wisdom bodhisattva. The Chinese character is dharma, which can be translated as truth. So you can say truth wisdom, teaching wisdom, reality wisdom, or dharma wisdom. I'm going to say dharma wisdom. Is that okay? All right. Dharma wisdom bodhisattva. At that time, what happened with dharma wisdom bodhisattva? Dharma, wisdom, bodhisattva received something. What did she receive? She received the Buddha's awesome spiritual power. The bodhisattva, Dharma, wisdom received the Buddha's awesome spiritual power.

[15:40]

and thereby entered a samadhi, entered a concentrated awareness called the samadhi of the bodhisattva's limitless skill and means. The name of the samadhi is The bodhisattvas limitless skill and means. So in this samadhi, the bodhisattva receives infinite ways to help people. It's transmitted to the bodhisattva in this concentrated state, this open, relaxed, undistracted state called limitless skill and means of bodhisattvas. Now, who again, who entered?

[16:49]

Dharma wisdom entered. How did the Dharma wisdom enter? By the spiritual power of Buddha. But also, also he entered by coming to the assembly and being with the Buddha. Just like today, we have come here into this assembly. to receive this awesome spiritual power of the Buddha. No need to wait. And by receiving this awesome spiritual power, we enter the Samadhi. And then, It goes on and says, through the power of this samadhi, there were, in my words, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, [...] many Buddhas.

[18:04]

That's my way to put it. Many Buddhas were There, in the samadhi, which Buddha welcomes us to enter. And all these Buddhas had the same name. And the name was Dharma Wisdom. I've been kind of shocked that the sutra says this. I've been shocked for a few weeks now. I read this before, but just a few weeks ago, it's really like it got to me that all these Buddhas have the same name as this Bodhisattva who's kind of the main figure of this chapter.

[19:08]

But their names are Dharma Wisdom Buddha, Buddha Dharma Wisdom. And his name is Dharma Wisdom Bodhisattva. And they, who's they, the Buddhas, the Dharma Wisdom Buddhas, they appear everywhere in front of Dharma Wisdom Bodhisattva. And they spoke to Dharma Wisdom Bodhisattva, saying, good indeed, good indeed, good person, that you are able to enter the samadhi of the Bodhisattva's limitless skill and means. Good person, Buddhas in ten directions use their spiritual power and together help you enter the samadhi and cause you to speak the Dharma.

[20:18]

And for the sake of increasing and growing Buddhist wisdom and being able to hold and speak all dharmas that are set to arise, ten abodes of bodhisattvas. At that time, same time, at that time, Buddhas gave, gave, and excuse me if you're saying, Excuse me for saying, at that time, Buddhas give dharma, wisdom, bodhisattvas, many kinds of great wisdom. So many kinds of great wisdom are spoken of in the sutra, and they are given to who? To dharma, wisdom, bodhisattva.

[21:34]

And then it says... Why is this? And the answer is it is because through the power of samadhi the dharma is that way. So we are invited to enter this samadhi and by the Buddha's power we can enter it and we will be given many kinds of wisdom in that samadhi and how come It's because that's the way the samadhi is, is that in the samadhi, you receive all these kinds of wisdom. And then one more part of the sutra for you is then at that time, and there's only one time in this sutra,

[22:38]

And it includes infinite past, present, and future. At that time, Buddhas, from all ten directions, extended their right hand and rubbed the crown of dharma, wisdom, bodhisattva's head. This happens in Samadhi, in the Bodhisattva Samadhi. The Buddhas extend their right hand and rub the top of our head, the crown of our head. Right now, Tayo is feeling the top of his head. This is just the beginning of the chapter.

[24:00]

So let me just welcome, Alex. Let me just say again that All the Buddhas in this chapter have the same name as the Bodhisattva who will be giving the teaching. Now, the next step is, I would say to you that when you enter this Samadhi, all the Buddhas come to you and give you many kinds of wisdom. They rub your head, and they have the same name as you. In this samadhi, when Leon enters this samadhi, all the Buddhas have the name Leon.

[25:20]

And they pat their bodhisattva, Liyan, on the head. All the bodhisattvas have the same name, Tayo. All the bodhisattvas have the same name as Mark. Excuse me, all the Buddhas have the same name as Mark Bodhisattva. And this is not something to be taken personally. Because this is the case with all the bodhisattvas in this samadhi. The Buddhas have the same name as you. As someone said to me recently, names are important. Names are opportunities for the special transmission of Zen.

[26:31]

Each of our names cannot be different from the names of Buddha. And Buddha names are infinite, and our names are infinite. I've been going on for quite a while, and I just wanted to say that much, and I could go on now more on the sutra, if that's not too much for you. Some people say, okay, ready, here we go. Okay, what's happening now? Maybe you remember. Somebody has entered samadhi, and a lot happened there. And that somebody who entered samadhi in this chapter is called Dharma Wisdom Bodhisattva. And all the Buddhas come and meet that bodhisattva face to face, and they have the same name.

[27:40]

And then Dharma Wisdom Bodhisattva arises from the samadhi. And I like to emphasize that he arises from the samadhi. He doesn't leave the samadhi. He's born of the samadhi. But now he's being born of this samadhi, from this samadhi, and he will now start talking. Yeah. He's been empowered by entering this state of mind. He's been empowered by entering this communion with Buddhas, and he's been empowered to speak. So he arises. Yeah. He arises from the samadhi, and then he declares, disciples of Buddha, bodhisattvas, children of Buddha,

[28:47]

The Bodhisattva abode is vast and great like all of space and the Dharma realm. The abodes of the Bodhisattvas are vast and great. Bodhisattvas dwell in the house of Buddha in three times. That's what Dharma wisdom is saying to us. There's a new book by a highly esteemed Zen teacher named Tangen Roshi. I think it's Harada Tangen Roshi. He's a wonderful teacher who passed away not long ago. And some of you may have studied with him. And a book of his teaching has recently come out. And the name of the book...

[29:55]

of Tangen Roshi's teaching is, throw yourself into the house of the Buddha. Bodhisattvas are invited to throw themselves into the house of Buddha. Into the abode of the Buddhas. The abodes of bodhisattvas I shall now explain, says Dharma Wisdom Bodhisattva. I shall discuss the dwellings of the bodhisattva abodes, which of course are so vast, they're not graspable, measurable, but we can live them and we are invited to live them. Then, guess who?

[31:00]

Dharma wisdom bodhisattva says, disciples of Buddha. And the Chinese characters, the character there is, can be child or disciple. You're being addressed by Dharma wisdom bodhisattva. Disciples of Buddha, children of Buddha. There are ten kinds of abodes of bodhisattvas. which all Buddhas, past, present, and future, have explained, have discussed, will explain, and do discuss. What are the 10? So if I give you the names of the 10 stages or the 10 abodes, maybe that's too much. You know, maybe just hold up. Charlie's saying yes.

[32:00]

Maybe saying all ten's too much. So maybe I'll just say the first one for now. Okay? Because the first one turns out to be immeasurably wonderful. The first one is called the abode. The abode of the initial... generation of the mind of awakening. Another translation would be the initial generation of the mind that's determined on unsurpassed awakening. The initial resolution to attain the Mind of Buddha for the welfare of the world. The first stage of the Bodhisattvas, this is the first abode of the Bodhisattvas.

[33:03]

The initial arousing, the initial determination, the initial resolve of Bodhi. And again, this first abode of bodhisattvas is dealt with in prose in the chapter. And it's not a terribly long presentation, but it has a lot in it. It's dealt with in prose. And then after all ten are dealt with in prose, then all ten are dealt with in verse. And the presentation has three parts.

[34:07]

One part is speaking about the conditions within which this mind arises. Speaking about the conditions in which this mind of great awakening first arises and there's lots of different conditions so it isn't that there's a fixed condition some of you may arise by one of these conditions some of you by another some of you by a way that's not mentioned in the sutra but this can this mind arises through certain conditions through certain causes and And let me just say, to make things simple for you at the beginning, the basic condition for the arising of this wish, of this desire, of this determination to attain Buddha, the basic situation is a special transmission outside the scriptures.

[35:24]

It's a communion with all beings. It's a communion with Buddhas, with peaceful beings. wise, compassionate Buddhas, and his communion with all suffering beings. That is a situation in which this mind first arises. And the next section describes various kinds of knowledge, various kinds of wisdom that are cultivated together with this wish. And then the next section is talking about various practices to encourage and learn in order to grow and protect, nourish, and mature this first wish to attain Buddhahood.

[36:29]

So now I feel like that's about enough. That's a little taste of this chapter. And maybe now I'll just take a little break here and see if there's anything you want to bring up before we go a little bit deeper and into more detail. About what? About the situation, about the teachings, about the first abode of bodhisattvas, which is the first arising, the first generation of the mind which wants great awakening for the welfare of this world. Well, nobody's saying anything, so I will. He says, Reb Anderson is talking.

[37:35]

And what he's saying is that I really understand how some of my dear friends are not interested to come to Zoom meetings. That they have some resistance to Zoom meetings. That they want to meet in person. And I really appreciate that people who What do I say? Who have resistance to Zoom meetings sometimes get over the resistance and come to the Zoom meeting. I personally have resistance to Zoom meetings, and I came today. For you and for all beings, I came, but I have resistance, and I appreciate that some other people who have told me about their resistance have got over it and come to this meeting. Thank you for coming, resistant ones. Okay, I'm ready for Denise. Welcome, Denise.

[38:47]

Thank you. Last weekend, we had our funeral for Eva at Green Gulch. And... Could everybody hear her? Good. Thank you. Many people said... And I felt it too, that the ritual enabled a kind of unity among everybody present, unity in our sorrow, and a kind of transcendence also from that sorrow. And it was very mysterious. People couldn't really... say how it happened they felt like it was all leading up to some people said it was leading up to a kind of release and Norman officiated and he gave precepts to Eva and he gave her a Dharma name butterfly wisdom radiant spring and

[39:59]

It felt like the ritual tapped into some greater mystery of existence and that it was shared and it seems related to what you're saying. Yes. Or it's exactly the same. You said unity, right? Yeah. Or you could say transmission. With everybody there. Yeah. Just like this meeting can be a ritual. This meeting can be a ritual of unity. a ritual of communion with everybody here for the sake of realizing a ritual that's unlimited beyond just these, what, 75 people.

[41:21]

Yeah. So is there something there about the, like, it seemed like every person was important there in the room, including Eva? And it seemed like it transcended the personal, but it was through the personal. Like it was through showing up and opening one's heart. Yes. We realize the universal by thoroughly embracing the particular. Which already includes everything. But if we don't embrace the particular, we close the door on how, not just the universal, but how the universal is included in the particular. It's already there. But we, generally speaking, well, actually, people resist particulars, a particular life, a particular death.

[42:34]

They resist a particular. But also some people resist the universal. And some people even resist the harmony between the particular and the universal. So we can resist all over the place. We can resist the sutra. We can resist the people here. But we can also let go of the resistance. And it looks like that ceremony. And I hope that this... Assembly is a ritual to let go of resistance to particulars and let go of resistance to the universal too. An interplay, you're saying it's an interplay. Yeah, and also let go of resistance to the interplay. Like some people say, I have no problem with this particular.

[43:35]

I just don't want the universal to come in here. Because that would bring certain particulars with it that I don't want. I like this dog, but I don't want all those people here too. Okay, we're with you. I often think of, after a funeral ceremony that I officiated, somebody who I never met before, came up to me and said, that was a wonderful ceremony. I'm really glad to meet you. Sorry it had to be under these circumstances, she said. She really appreciated the funeral ceremony, you know, this unity. But sorry, it had to be under these circumstances that we realized the unity. And I didn't say it out loud, but I thought, if it weren't for this ritual, we never would have met.

[44:41]

Yeah, the rituals are a gift. And also the death is a gift. So we can do the ritual. Very, very sad things are occasions for very, very good things sometimes. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Thank you, Denise. Thank you, Rev. Hello, Rob. Hello, Green. I'm not totally sure what my question is, but I've noticed that recently you've been bringing up resistance, which is something I relate with and I'm interested in.

[46:01]

I think some of the things you just said to Denise kind of addressed my question. I appreciated that you were talking about resisting the particular, resisting the universal, resisting the harmony of the two. But I think before I heard you say that, the question that was coming up for me was something about... this first arising of the determination that you mentioned? And is there a relationship of resistance or is that like a separate experience? Let's see. I didn't see this example in the sutra, but there could be the example of seeing suffering beings, seeing beings who are resisting the particulars of their life and thereby suffering.

[47:17]

So one could be observing a living being who's resisting pain or pleasure. Some people do resist pleasure. Some people resist, many people, of course, resist pain. But resisting, and also some people resist neutral sensation. But no matter what we're resisting, resisting is painful and stressful. We're closing our life. So one could observe the resistance that other people are participating in and the suffering that they're having. But one could also observe one's own resistance. And observing this resistance and how it's painful, the wish to attain awakening could arise right at that time. Which is similar to what the sutra does say is seeing suffering sentient beings.

[48:22]

Which could also be seeing resistant sentient beings. This mind arises. That's how it arises for some people. Yeah, there's some wonderful stories about people resisting something that's happening and then completely waking up to how silly that is. So the mind of awakening can arise right in the midst of our resisting, or observing other people's resisting. Okay, thank you very much. Thank you for your question. Nice to see you, Reb.

[49:33]

Great to see you, Anthony. I have a little heartache knowing that you're a little further away from me now. Yeah, me too. I'm having this heartache too. And maybe some resistance to it. To the heartache. Being farther away. I'm also trying to open up to the heartache. of driving on freeways at a high speed, trying to open up to some resistance to freeway life, which seems, I guess I could walk from Enso to no abode, but I might never get there. Resistance. I've been noticing how still I need to really have a sense of the resistance that's hard to know otherwise.

[50:47]

Right. Yeah. Living here, I actually don't have such a busy life anymore. So it's easier for me to notice resistance here. Not easier. It just happens more often. Because I think I'm a little more quiet here. Because I don't have so many places to go. I never imagined you were waiting to be quiet somewhere. I think when I... Maybe if I was doing backflips, it might be hard to be quiet. At least just before I jump. Well, I don't want to be overly bold speaking for the Sangha, but we are here for you.

[52:03]

in whatever way we can be of service, because we're bodhisattvas. That's what we do. Yeah. And by the way, in the verses of this chapter, in the first verse celebrating this first abode, it says, Thus bodhisattvas boldly arouse the mind of awakening for the first time. It's kind of bold to say, I wish to attain unsurpassed awakening for the welfare of the world. I want to know authentic, genuine truth. I want to join the work of freeing all beings. This is kind of a bold thing to feel, to say, to think. Thank you. Thank you. Good morning.

[53:18]

Good morning. I second what was just said about wishing to support you in this. And I am amazed that you only took one book with you. That was interesting to hear. The one book I took, well, was only... a third of the Avatamsaka Sutra. However, I must admit, I forgot to mention, I do have the sutra on this computer. But that's still, I just brought that one, I just brought the one sutra on the computer. But actually, there's actually some other books on the computer. So actually, in my computer, I brought more than one book. But I only brought one paper book. And it's a different life.

[54:19]

Also, one book fits into this little apartment. But I have some other books which do not. And they are over at No Abode. So I move many books to No Abode, which I will be giving away to you, to the Great Assembly, when you come to visit. I'll be giving you books. I remember there being a lot of books there already. There's a lot of books there already, and now there's... Now there's more. And they would not fit in this little apartment, which is why I did not bring them. But perhaps you've absorbed them, you know? They're part of how you think. I have totally absorbed them, and so have you. I hope so. I wanted to ask you about this wish, this initial wish, because it seems to me partly an act of will, partly a miracle, partly a result of karma.

[55:26]

Where does it come from? How does this happen? I would say for ordinary people, it's inconceivable. And Buddhas know things that are inconceivable, but they don't know them conceptually. So it comes from the whole universe. This arising of this particular thing happening to a living being, like a human, the way it happens is inconceivable. But for short, we call it, it arises in the communion between sentient beings and Buddhas, which means between sentient beings and sentient beings and Buddhas. It arises, but also it arises from one's past karma. So our karma is one of the things that contributes. Other people's karma is something that contributes, like, of seeing them suffering. That's seeing their karma, seeing them hurt themselves.

[56:30]

It all, this inconceivable special transmission is where it comes from. Emphasis here is when it comes first, because first is really important so that we don't think that first is better than the second or the millionth, or worse than the final Buddha mind. So there's a strong emphasis in this sutra on the first one, because this sutra is really emphasizing two things. One is, it's happening right now, and also there's many stages. So the first abode is everything's right now, but then there's nine more. So, you know, you can look and see that there's a lot more sort of following the first one that includes everything. But unless you mention the next nine, you wouldn't necessarily understand how they're included in the first one.

[57:37]

Well... The sutra mentions will a great deal, resolve. Yeah, will, resolve, will, resolve, wish, wanting. So in the verses in this chapter, it says over and over again, wanting, [...] wanting. 36 times it says, wanting, wanting, wanting, various wonderful things. Wanting. The bodhisattva first arouses the mind of awakening. Wanting. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Desiring, wishing, willing, determining. Wanting, then determining. Wanting, then committing. Wanting, then resolving. Wanting, then wishing. So, yeah. Looking into this. It seems sometimes like it's a discovery of the wish that maybe was always there. It's always there. But still, what's emphasized here is the first time you're aware of it.

[58:43]

And, you know, appreciate this right now. So this is chapter 15, and then chapter 17 talks about the merit of this first arising. That's chapter 17, which will... Well, I don't have to say, just it really, like... emphasizing how infinitely wonderful the first time is. And the first time is just an ordinary thought in a human being's mind. There's a whole chapter on the merit of this thought. This chapter gets into it a little. I don't know if it's okay to ask this, but I'll just say it and you can ignore it if you want. But do you remember the first time you were aware of that thought? I think I do. But I didn't call it the thought of unsurpassed awakening.

[59:56]

I just had the thought, I want to be like that. About certain Zen people's behavior. I wanted to be like that. Now I see what that was. was Unsurpassed Awakening. I didn't call it that then. You're welcome. I don't have Ray's hand on my video. But you want to raise your hand? But I'm raising my hand. Okay, we see your hand raised. May I hear your voice. Thank you. This is Sonia.

[60:59]

I'm having a thought about the first awakening. And it seems to me that maybe the first awakening and the resolve would come out of personal suffering and the great search for how to be put salve on this surfening and out of that communion or understanding the self and the connection with others becomes this greater wish. So it seems to me it's really a personal for some, a personal entry, and how do I deal with this resistance or this pain? What do you think about that? I think that's one of the examples. But some people don't have it with that.

[62:00]

They don't have it from personal suffering. What they're going through is they see somebody who's just really acting in a wonderful way. And they just think, that's great. I want to learn that. I can, yeah, I can see that. So it just, that's why they have 36. That's why they had this big book, is to show that there's infinite situations, and one of them is what you said. So you're exhibiting one example, and that's the way it is for some people sometimes. It starts your personal suffering, but somebody close to you. It could be somebody close to you. That's another one. It could be your personal, somebody close to you, or it could be somebody you never saw before. I remember, you know, just what came to my mind just then was there was a poet, one of the beat poets, his name was Lou Welch.

[63:05]

And in one of his poems, he's talking about... walking down the streets in San Francisco and seeing a black man sitting on the steps of his house with his head in his hands, you know, in agony. And he saw that, but the thought of enlightenment did not arise in him. What he thought was, if I ever see anything like that again, I'm out of here. And I think he did see something like that again, and then he was out of here. So some people see this suffering and they say, they really resist it. I'm not going to see any more of that. That's not what's happening here. Here it's like seeing the suffering of yourself, of somebody close to you, of somebody you don't know, and saying, I want to be in this world for that

[64:09]

To help that person. I want to help this situation. I want to liberate this suffering person. Myself, my child, my mother, this person on the street I don't know. I'm happy to stay here. I want to learn how to be here. And I need awakening in order to do that. So I aspire to awakening so I can happily stay in this world of suffering. Not because I like suffering, because I like to be with the suffering people. That's in this chapter. Seems like just thinking about different causes and conditions of someone feeling as if they actually have some agency or some power and some kind of helplessness has not been felt or... Anyway, that wish to do something seems like it needs to come with some empowerment or some agency as if you could or as if you are able.

[65:22]

Well, that's why it says this through a communion. Yeah. Isn't that... Right. When in the communion suddenly you feel support to have this wish. Yeah. And you... Because of the communion. The bodhisattva does not enter the samadhi by herself. Even people who have a sense of agency, they can't enter it by that agency. And the people who don't have a sense of agency, they can't enter by their sense that they don't. Everybody enters through communion. Nobody enters through feeling like they do or do not have agency. People who feel that way, both of them, everybody can be in this communion and enter this amazing mind of awakening. I wanted to say one more thing, separate from this. Earlier on you were talking about Dharma wisdom.

[66:27]

Yeah. Or the part... And I think of Dharma wisdom as more of an energy. And when I heard he a lot, then became a person, which I understand the person, the particular and the universal. But I thought of Dharma wisdom as more arising, and it's not a he or a she or a they. And when I heard... I'm just saying for myself, when I heard he, I felt a little separate from Dharma wisdom. I had to remind myself. Maybe it would be helpful to say she. No, I think not even she. No, it's not she. It's not he. You said he made you feel separate. So maybe she would be helpful. If she doesn't help, they. If not, just forget the pronoun and just say Dharma wisdom. Yeah, I think of it as an energy that's intimate and arises in each... And then observing the people who are having trouble with pronouns, this thought arises.

[67:40]

That's one way. Well, that's the way you just talked about. There's no pronoun there. Yes, I think that that's true. Observing how people who are having trouble with pronouns... the thought of awakening arises. That's how it happens sometimes. No argument. No resistance. Thank you. Okay, it's eight. I see it's 1122, and I see three people, so we need to be quick. Yes, Basia. Hello, Rob. Hello, Basia. Roshi. And the assembly. So nice to see you. Really appreciate about this.

[68:47]

So good to have your teaching coming across Zoom. I'm really... I wanted to ask you about your situation and why you left the place where you lived most of your life. But since you're saying that we're pressed for time, I don't know, maybe some other time I'll ask you that question. Because probably a lot of people from your sangha already know it, but those who are away, like myself, far from you, don't know why you left. I never imagined that you would leave I don't really know the reason. You could tell a story, you know. The story is that Zen Center administration had a policy of the senior people leaving Zen Center and going to a retirement community. That's one story. So about 20 people from Zen Center, the senior people,

[69:56]

were in various ways invited to leave Zen Center and go live in this community. And almost all of them said okay, for various reasons. But how it really happened, I don't know. But that's one story. It wasn't like I wanted to leave Zen Center and go live here, but that's what happened. Okay. So I'll go back to the topic of awakening. Yeah. Because that's most important. And, you know, when I listened to everyone wondering about it, I kind of remembered, I don't know, I don't think it's just being an adult that happens, that it happens to us. I think I had that desire.

[70:57]

to live a different life than what I saw around me. Right from childhood, when I listened to my grandma's, you know, she was a really good talker, she would tell me fairy tales. And the wisdom in those fairy tales was so much more convincing and alluring that at some point, that's what I wanted. And at some point also... This big book is, you could say, is a fairy tale. In a different language. At some point, I remember when I was maybe in grade two or something, I learned to read. In Poland, we had these one-page-per-day calendars. A lot of times, under the number of the day, was also some kind of proverb. folk tale, you know, some kind of a wisdom. And I would collect those.

[71:59]

And as I was doing it, one day I said, I need more wisdom. I don't think I'm going to get it from my home, from my parents. They were suffering. They were caught up in their own personal dramas. So that was my theme of all my life, looking for wisdom. So maybe it was way back. Maybe your first one was way back. Very, very. But then, of course, all kinds of resistance is coming up, right? Because we do not understand the fact that to find wisdom, we have to eat the resistance. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I think when you told a little story of Lou Welch, I felt I understood what made him leave.

[73:16]

It wasn't just like depression leading to suicide. It reminded me of something that happened to me. Once, you know, there was a person who made a nine-hour film about the... It's called Shoah. It's about the, you know... extermination of the Jews under the Nazis, and not only the Jews, but others. And I went in, I watched a few hours of that, and I walked out in a daze, and I remember distinctly having the thought, if that's what human beings are, because it showed the total assent to this cruelty, the embrace of it by ordinary people, millions of them. I thought if that's really what humanity is, I should kill myself. That distinctly came up. And so the weight of that kind of evil, cruel, violent karma that's both inside us and outside of us, I think that first awakening you've been talking about,

[74:34]

I think the first awakening comes many times. Every time that extreme, dark, violent karma that fills the earth kind of, you know, we get, if we inconceivably may get the very first thought of awakening again. What do you think? I mean, I say whatever you think because it's supposed to be a question, but it's really just a description of experience. Yeah, I think I appreciate your description of experience. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks. You're welcome. Thank you. Last night, some friends arrived at our house.

[75:47]

And the woman was telling me of her suffering and her pain. Maybe not even... I don't know if she knew how much I felt like suffering and pain to me. And I... I was listening and feeling it and wanting to be present with it. But also feeling the kind of resistance, like wanting to see myself. I want to get away a little bit. This is scary. This is big. How do I just be right here? Yeah, so I guess I just am really feeling the weight of that, how big it is to be present with just one particular thing right here, right now.

[77:02]

It's a big deal to be completely present with one particular particle of suffering. But if you're not able, if we're not able to be fully present with one particular atom of suffering, we might be able to be present with a particular atom of resistance, of trying to get away. That might be more, we might have the ability to be with the resistance. Like sometimes I talk about, you know, being generous with everybody. And then someone afterwards, somebody comes up to me and says, yeah, I heard that and I want to be, but I can't be generous with, and then they mention somebody, I can't be generous with that person. I can't feel compassionate or wish to feel compassionate to that person. So then I say, well, can you be compassionate to your lack of compassion?

[78:04]

And they often say, yeah. And telling me about it is actually, compassionate. You're paying attention to the resistance. You don't want to pay attention to that person. You just wish they would evaporate. But you are paying attention to your resistance to being compassionate with that person. And then opening to that, being completely present with that, promotes our ability to be present with certain other particles of suffering that we cannot yet, that we're still resisting. So expand what you can be present with to include the things which you're not quite ready to be present with eventually, or to open to the things that we cannot yet be present with. Thank you for sharing your compassion.

[79:10]

and resistance. Thank you for sharing your compassion. All right, Rabbi, Adam, myself, after you said we had only a few minutes left, is that okay, or are we out of time? Somebody came up and the talking about resistance and a practice that has really helped me recently and I wanted to offer. I read that. I read in a book and I don't know the exact sutra that the Buddha said it, but that he said there's three ways that we, I'm going to say resist here, but I think he was run from ourselves. It's we seek pleasure. We seek a different life or we seek oblivion. And. You know, as of late, when I'm resisting, I know I'm resisting, and sometimes that feeling is vague, or I don't even know what I'm resisting, or it was something a little while ago, and now it's something different, and I don't even know what it is anymore.

[80:26]

You know, am I asking myself, am I seeking pleasure? Am I seeking a different life, or am I seeking oblivion? And oblivion to me has a broad meaning. And the author that was talking about the Buddha's statement talked about spiritual oblivion, how we can seek to just kind of dull our minds or that oblivion could be suicide or dulling our minds or simply just getting away. And anyway, I just wanted to share that having those three categories and um being mindful of them and asking myself when i'm feeling resistance which of these does this into which of these does my attention fall into what am i doing at the moment has been has been really helpful i just want to share thank you thank you yeah sometimes that's called the three outflows so one is wishing for existence one is wishing for non-existence

[81:30]

and the other is wishing for sex. Those are three, which is like bhava, bhavaraga, wishing for being, abhavaraga, wishing for non-being or extinction, and wishing for sex, karmaraga. So he talked about those three quite a bit, and it's very good to identify which one might be arising. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everybody, so much for joining this ritual of communion with the Great Assembly and with all the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.

[82:21]

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