to how something so vivid and so present and so clear be so... What's apparent? Like you don't see it. It's not apparent. I'm scared. Yeah, not... I mean, it's so vivid, but at the same time, it's so non-apparent. And how could... What's the story? Yeah, the story is... What's the story? The story is that the stories we tell have to obscure the vivid truth. The brilliant truth of our life is obscured by our storytelling from ancient past. So we have minds that do create stories. and as a consequence of the stories we have had before, is some more or less obscuration or curtain around us so that the brilliant world of our true relationship with beings is obscured.

[01:19]

And there's also stories about the causes that gave rise to us becoming storytellers. There's some payoff in terms of, you know, biology of having stories, storytelling ability. But one of the of our storytelling ability is that it creates a curtain which surrounds us, a cognitive enclosure in which we can't see the vivid truth of our relationship with all beings. Like someone just told me, kind of generously confessed that in the animal world, the stories he told have created a kind of animal world that he lives in. I said, yeah, that's possible. But if you practice generosity in the animal world, the animal world curtain will part. and you'll meet, you'll enter the vivid true relationships. However, that world is not a world you can recognize.

[02:25]

That's one of the things that's nice about animal world is you can recognize it. Or human world, you can recognize it. Kind of like, oh, that's this and that's that. But in our true relationship, you can't really find anything. You're just, you know, this intense intimacy with everybody but you don't get to grab anything. But we can get used to that and handle it. So if you're generous with the enclosure, you can be generous with the non-enclosure. If you're generous with the obscuring enclosure, the obscuring enclosure parts and you get entry into the non-enclosed radiance. And the practice of generosity, if you continue it, you can tolerate the light, the radiance of your intimacy with all beings. You can tolerate it by continuing to practice giving, ethics, patience, concentration.

[03:28]

That's the way you can cope with enclosure such that the enclosure opens and cope with the open world of truth when it dawns upon you. Be able to cope with that the world of truth is not something you can recognize and get a hold of. But generosity is basic to being able to tolerate not getting hold of things. So even when you live in a world with a body and relationship with other bodies and you can get a hold of them, if you practice generosity like that, you can start being ungrasping with your own and other people's bodies. Be generous with the body rather than holding the body. And then you're open to the body which can't be grasped. true body which cannot be grasped but which is surrounding us all the time and which we're supporting. So generosity opens to that world and it's the way we live in that world once we enter it. Generosity makes us more and more fearless or less and less afraid of not being enclosed.

[04:37]

You know, we're afraid of what happens in the enclosure But then when the enclosure starts to part, we think, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'd rather be enclosed and have these problems than have who knows what. At least I'm alive here. I don't even know if I'll be alive if the curtain parts. So I'll just stay in here then, even though it's painful. So, make sense? You're welcome. You want to come up and get the microphone? I have a question about accepting. I can grasp everything you said about giving. Now the question comes up, why is it sometimes so difficult to accept gifts from mothers, and yet

[05:44]

I sense that part of that is also generosity to be able to accept these gifts from other people or other beings. Right. That's right. And I found not solution but incident is that when a great tragedy happens, what I can perceive as a great tragedy, I'm suddenly open to more accepting. So how does all that work? Did you say when experiencing a great tragedy, you feel more open? To accepting from others. you feel more open to accepting from others? Yes. Well, maybe in... maybe you accept it by allowing that you're having a tragedy. There's some openness in that.

[06:47]

If we're trying to avoid tragedy and close off tragedy, that's kind of an un... what do you call it? It's an ungracious way of relating to the possibilities of a tragedy. When tragedy actually happens, that means, well, we kind of like, oh, oh, oh, okay, okay. And it's kind of like, no, no, I don't want this problem. No, I don't want this problem. No, I don't want, no, let's get away from that problem. And suddenly somehow something comes and kind of like, oh, I get it. It's time for acceptance. Or, no, I don't want to accept now either. Well, how about this? No, I don't want to accept that. Well, how about this? Okay, okay, I get the picture. How bad does it get before you start accepting? And usually if it gets, I shouldn't say bad, if it gets tragic, if the change gets big enough, usually we finally go, okay. Now that's what's often called death.

[07:49]

But finally, in the end, we start accepting change. But it's possible to start today rather than wait till right to the gates of death to start practicing what we will eventually do. We will eventually say, okay, I'm letting go of this body. But you can start now, letting go of this body, because it's actually constantly going away. Why don't you join the program? You're giving it away. You're giving it away. Join that. But sometimes we don't give it for a long time, but then suddenly we do give it, and then we notice, oh, and then I'm open to other things too. Like I often, not often say, but I noticed when I used to go to receptions after funerals, I'd do a funeral ceremony, particularly when I do the ceremony, or I'm the official for the ceremony, people come up to me after the ceremony and they say,

[08:53]

They say something like, I'm so... I'm so moved, I'm so grateful to have this. I'm so happy to meet you. And then they say, I'm sorry. In other words, I'm happy to meet you means I feel like I'm having a deep meeting with you. In other words, I feel like I'm open to meeting you. And it's very meaningful to be open to meeting somebody. A person often says, sorry it has to be under these circumstances. And I don't usually say this, but I think, if it weren't for these circumstances, you wouldn't be meeting me. You not only wouldn't be meeting me, probably, but you wouldn't be open to me the way you are. The fact you're a priest and you work as a priest comes because you're opening to the death of your friend. And you come here and you... So, I mean, I don't think it's a problem to be... meeting some other situation, but probably we wouldn't.

[09:57]

And also felt around funeral time that feelings of sexual feelings come up during funeral ceremonies. Now people are familiar with sexual feelings coming up at wedding ceremonies, I think, perhaps, but more come up at funeral ceremonies, I think. Well, it's partly a compensation for the loss, you know, but I think it's that we open. When we come to a funeral ceremony, we're opening a little bit to death, usually. And you open to death, you also open to sex. And, you know, and a lot of other stuff, too. So usually we're trying to cope with death and sex, keep it, you know, keep away from it, keep it out there. And that's not the generous way. If you don't want to use it, you don't have to use it. The people in the back might not be able to hear you.

[11:02]

There's people way at the back. Thank you very much for taking my question. Receiving your question. It was a great message. Thank you. And talk about accepting whenever, where you are. It's easy to practice to have my consciousness by my own, to give and receive by myself. But I'm confused that when you're accepting where you are a certain time, I do feel like I need to get out that accepting period. that is between your centered and you desire of comfort. When tragedy happen, you're accepting what is happening, accepting this is happening, therefore we meditate more, chant more, to center us more, to nourish us more.

[12:19]

To conscious thinking, to let go, to comfort ourselves. But when the time, I think I'm at the time that I need to get out, that comfort level, that's why I love to come over here. Over here, I can escape myself from the real world, from the corporate environment. But yet, every Monday when I go back, That's not my own world. And I felt I don't want to be lazy, but I'm confused if I want go back to accomplish more I think is not materialized.

[13:19]

Go that certain things In intellectual level, in corporate level, I think I should go back there again, but yet, I don't want to. And I feel comfortable, very loved to stay in this present. But this present does not support me that when I go back to work on Monday morning, meetings, I guess it's... Do you feel that this presence supports you when you go back Monday morning? Monday morning meetings, I can control myself. I can consciously see where I'm at or what I'm doing. But interact with other people, sometimes you have no control of it.

[14:23]

yet you have to be there, yet you have to do more. So that's where I'm stuck. Mm-hmm. Well, you also now brought the word control up. You said talking about control, that you can control yourself and so on. So part of giving... is part of what you can give is you can give away trying to control. And then you say, well, how can I go to work and give away trying to control because my understanding is work is about controlling myself and controlling certain accomplishments. So I don't see how I can give away trying to control. And a lot of people... So being in the world where you're trying to control is a world that's created as a result of thinking in terms of trying to control.

[15:33]

And we grow up, most of us, having lots of stories about trying to get things under control. And people say, you know, come to this motel, you'll be in control. If you come to this motel, you can control the thermostat and the heat. You can choose what TV show to watch. You can take a bath whenever you want to. That's the advertisement for one of the hotels. You get control here. People like that. So anyway, if you find your place right where you are, here or at work, if you find your place right where you are, the practice of giving occurs. And the practice of giving means you start giving yourself and receiving from others, gifts from others. You enter into the giving process and in that process you give up trying to control.

[16:35]

And you give up thinking that you're in control. But it takes a while of practice before you actually are able to dare to make the idea or to make the thinking of controlling, to actually not destroy the thinking of controlling, but just say, oh, here I am, and I'm practicing giving towards this idea of trying to control. So I'm going to go to work, and when I get there, I'll probably try to control things to go a certain way, because that's what they're expecting me to do. So I'll probably go along with that. But along with my trying to control things, towards it. I'm going to be gracious towards me trying to control and I'm going to be gracious towards the other people who are trying to control themselves and me and the product or whatever. I'm going to practice generosity. The horse is going to arrive before the donkey leaves. So the donkey, the habit of trying to control things, not to give things but to get things, to get accomplishment, that donkey is going to be there for a while.

[17:49]

Hmm? That's most people. Most people are children who are trying to get something. We've been children since we were little. We've been children since ancient times trying to get something. This is human delusion. Now the Buddha is giving to us and we are giving to the Buddha. Even selfish children are Buddha says that. And also Buddha gives to selfish children and Buddha sees that all the selfish children are giving to each other. Buddha sees that. Buddha understands that. Buddha is that. So then Buddha sends us a message. The message is practice giving in the world where you're trying to get and the horse will arrive. The horse of giving will come to the to the corral of the donkeys and that horse will come to

[18:50]

teach the donkeys that the horse has arrived. And the horse is getting bigger and more beautiful every moment. Practicing graciousness towards the donkey. So if you go back to work and you notice this getting, getting, getting, getting thing happening, just like if Buddha was there at work with you, and I'm telling you, Buddha is at work with you. Buddha's right there with you. Not just Buddha, all Buddhas. And they're all graciously loving you while you're trying to get something. And they're sending you the message, also, join the graciousness towards this person who's trying to get something and join the graciousness towards everybody else in this corporate world who's trying to be gracious with them. And the graciousness will grow and grow and grow and grow until it's big enough to open the gates of the world and realize a giving which is so great that no one can ever... It's an inconceivable, brilliant, unlimited, mutual assistance among all beings.

[20:08]

Then we let the Buddha totally in and we give ourselves totally to the Buddha. In the meantime, we still feel somewhat enclosed by this violence, chaos, gain, and loss. Our mind continues to make that story. But we can start growing the practice of giving in that very environment so the lotus can grow up in this muddy world of get, [...] control, control, control, protect, protect, protect. In that muddy field the lotus can grow up giving, giving, giving, patience, patience, patience, all these practices. until finally this beautiful lotus is blooming in the mud of human delusion. Loving the mud, putting your roots down in the mud generously makes this beautiful blossoming and opening.

[21:12]

So, yeah, patience. Another practice to do in the mud, patience. Ethics. Concentration. Enthusiasm. How wonderful we can do these practices. How wonderful. And the perfect place is in the mud. This is the place where lotus is growing mud. They do not grow in sand. They don't grow in, you know, in what we call sand traps at the golf courses. They grow in the swamp, in the mud. And then they reproduce there too. They go down in the mud again and new plants come up. This is the process of the Buddhas. You want to pass your... Oh, this lady Next. Is it on? Okay.

[22:25]

Yeah, it's on. I actually want to thank you for bringing that up because I had the same issue and you answered. And also in regarding to patience, I want to admit that that is my biggest problem in life, to be more generous toward myself and therefore to others by being patient. And this kind of allows me to see this first. And my biggest challenge right now is how do I, from theory, which I'm aware of it, and knowing it, to practicing it every moment, and appreciating whether I am patient or appreciating that giving that you were talking about. But I think in this journey, I sense that sense of patience. I miss that in my life. That's one thing I want to bring up.

[23:28]

And then the other thing is you brought something that has always affected me to see the world as nonviolent, which I do see that. see that the world could be non-violent and i appreciate that but i've more than half of my life i lived in two countries that have always been in war and realistically when i look at it killing people realist just looking at it violence to me by just my eyes seeing it but i could also see why it's happening and if i take a shift in my thought process maybe i can see it's not violent but at times i have very much difficult seeing it that way and i want to be able to see beauty and lotus in every That's the part I want to be taught. How do I practice that? How do I practice seeing and believing the lotus from the mud?

[24:30]

That's the part that I have problem doing. It comes and goes. So those two things. Thank you. If we are generous and patient with violence and fear, because they go together. That's the same world, the world of fear and violence. When we see that world appear, generosity towards that world and towards those phenomena, that tends to give rise to fearlessness and nonviolence and more generosity, which tends also to quell the fear and quell the violence. right in the context of the world where you see the violence and the fear. And then mark patience, first of all giving, and then virtue and patience with this violence and this fear.

[25:42]

and just keep doing that and doing that, and this finally leads to actually realizing fully the world of nonviolence and fearlessness. And then you can start giving wholeheartedly nonviolent reactions to go with the violence. So violence comes up, you give nonviolence. Fear comes up, you give fearlessness. But the ability to give fearlessness when fear and violence comes up is not born from trying to get fearlessness and get nonviolence. Generosity is the first way to really start to loosen and let go of fear and therefore violence. And then we more and more realize the world where we're and we're not being afraid that comes into this world through the practice.

[26:48]

The practice is the way it manifests in this world where we still see violence and fear. And also, practice part of the patience is practicing confession that I saw fear and I wasn't gracious towards the fear. I saw fear and I looked away. Looking away from the fear is not really gracious. Or I saw fear and I stuck my head in it. That's not gracious. Gracious is really like fear, welcome fear. You can be here since you are I'm going to be friendly to you. I don't like you or dislike you, but I let fear be here. I don't try to talk anybody out of fear. I try to look towards it. And I feel generous letting fear be fear. And letting fear be fear is giving.

[27:50]

And then the giving starts growing, and the fear doesn't necessarily get weaker. Because that's the mud we're growing this giving out of. The fear may be still just as potent as it was before, but the lotus gets bigger and bigger. The giving gets more and more wonderful. So the fear almost like it's insignificant compared to the joy. And the joy kind of like in a sense it transforms the fear into a delicious fruit. Like we sometimes use in Zen the image of persimmon. Persimmon is bitter when you eat it unripe. But if you take care of it with warmth and kindness, it becomes a very delicious fruit. And part of its deliciousness is the bitterness which it has matured from. that help a lot.

[28:58]

Thank you. Thank you. Give it to somebody else. Yes. Press it until it's green. Yeah, this gets back to the tragedy thing. I have a lot of feelings inside of me right now because my son died. He just fell on a rock in his garden while my sister was at the nursery, and he died. And it was such a shock to her. And so I tried to see if there was some way I could...

[29:59]

help because i know that it was just really so hard for her and um so i sent her a necklace of my mother's and uh i wrote her a nice card and i put that in there because i thought well i can't exactly say happy birthday merry christmas i just sent it you know with a card and um i never received any like i got it or thank you or anything like that you know can you hear her It just... You can? So I went to the postal place and I... Can I say something now? They found out that she did get it. Can I say something now? It's like... It doesn't feel right for some reason. I don't know what... Do you want some feedback? Yeah, yeah. I think what's not right is that you're expecting something. Yeah, yeah, the expectation and then maybe... More generous with her.

[31:02]

Well, also you expected some response. Well, you know, maybe with her not so much. Oh, okay, good. You know, when coming to think of it, I'm always the one to break through, you know, because we're very different. So what's the problem then if you weren't expecting anything? Well, I kind of am expecting her to break through a little bit. There was a little bit of expectation? Yeah, there was because... A little bit's enough. You know, a little bit, just a little bit of something because... Yeah, because she's really difficult, you know. She's going through hell. She really is. And, you know, I mean, I'm here and, you know, I'm an okay person. And, you know, I know her enough. You know, it's been like we're sisters and we're the only two. And I know how she gets, you know, like when my father died. She needed to get healing and to get... So she needs somebody to be generous with her.

[32:05]

Somebody to show her generosity. Yeah. And I don't know how to, I don't know how, and before my mother died, my mother died not too long ago too, she said, your sister is going to need you. And I keep thinking that. And I thought, way, and I don't know how, you know, and I got stuck. I got stuck. She needs you and me. She needs you and me and all of us. She needs us to practice giving. That's what she needs. And that's what she's got. And so we need to join into that reality by practicing towards your sister. But that means no expectation. Yeah. That means not trying to get anything called helping my sister. Yeah. I just thought, well, you know, here I am, you know. Yeah, that's right. Whatever I offer myself. That's right. But she's got these secrets that she knows I know about. That's where you get off right there.

[33:07]

You got into something about her. Just give yourself. Well, that's what I did. That's good. I think it stirred up the muck. Yeah, it does stir up the muck. The lotus didn't quite happen or something. I don't know about that. Maybe the seeds are in there, you know, germinating. Things are getting stirred up a little bit. You've got to keep taking care of them, those seeds, by continually practicing giving towards yourself and your sister. That's what she needs. That's what we need you to do. We need you to keep giving yourself to your sister and also give your sister to your sister. Keep letting your sister be who she is. Be who she is, yeah. That's a gift from you. We're also letting your sister be who she is, right folks? But it's really, you're really important too to do that because you're so close. It's easier for us than for you to let your sister be your sister.

[34:09]

So you let yourself be yourself, that's giving, and you let your sister be your sister and we'll join you. Thank you. But we know that for you it's more challenging probably than for us. But on the other hand, it's easier for you in certain ways because she's your sister. It's hard for us to remember your sister all the time. But maybe for you it's not so difficult. You know what? It's always there. That's good. It shocked the whole family. Every family member has not gotten over it that I've talked to. They just can't get over it. Even if they're a more distant relative, they share. We share with each other that we can't get over it. Let's be generous towards people not getting over it. Yeah, can't get over it. Let's graciously let them not get over it. Okay. And if we're gracious with their not getting over it, the lotus is growing. The lotus of getting over it is growing. right in the mud of not getting over it.

[35:12]

And giving is the way to start the germination process of this beautiful realization without messing with the mud of people being in shock and not getting over something. That's where we work. That's where we work. That's where the practice lives in that rich, challenging muck. So you're in the right place now. Turn the generosity on. And also turn it on and also receive it. Realize that your sister and this shock is a gift to you and us. It's a gift to you that the shock has happened. And to say, thank you. I have no complaint whatsoever about this. And if I can't say that, then I admit, I can say thank you very much, but I can't say I have no complaint. Okay, be generous towards her. If you've got a complaint, be generous with it. If your sister's got a complaint, let her have a complaint.

[36:17]

Then there's generosity with the complaining. Complaining? Okay. I welcome your complaint. You're complaining? Okay. Rather than, stop complaining. You can also say stop complaining as a gift. I say stop complaining, but I'm not trying to stop you from complaining. I'm just saying that. It's a little joke to liven things up a little bit. Thank you. Would you pass the mic to that gentleman there with the hand reaching for it? This is a little bit more theoretical, not so personal. listing the types of Buddha practice, generosity and ethics and graciousness, at least once you said, and being supportive. And I never could really understand what that means to be supportive of what another individual is doing.

[37:26]

irrespective of what they're doing? Or do you mean by being supportive, supportive in a general way of supporting Buddha practice? I would say it means supportive of them. Be supportive. But absolutely supportive can include giving someone a gift called, I would like you to stay over there, please. And you give that as a gift, not as a control. You don't expect them to stay over there. You just tell them you want them to stay over there. Or I'd like you to stop doing that. But you say that as a gift, not as a controlling thing. You're just telling them who you are. I'm a person who would like you to stay over there. I'm a person who would like you to stop that. So you give boundaries to people sometimes. you know, and if the boundary doesn't work and they don't respect it, you've got no problem. You weren't expecting them to follow it. You're just giving them a gift called, please stop punching me or whatever.

[38:33]

You know, and you feel generous when you gave it and don't follow what you asked. and you really are okay with that, you feel, wow, I think that was actually a gift. That's great. I gave it without expecting, and they didn't do what I wanted and asked. They didn't do it. And I'm okay with that, and now I can ask them again to not do it. I'm just giving them another gift, another request. My requests are gifts. They're not manipulations. But I feel fearless about that. People are not under my control, but I ask them to please be under my control. So what exactly are you supporting when you do that? What am I supporting? I'm supporting the person. I'm supporting the person I'm talking to.

[39:33]

I'm supporting me. I'm supporting everybody. And I'm supporting everybody anyway, all the time. And everybody's supporting me anyway. practices like this, I can get distracted from that and feel like I'm only supporting some people some of the time. And some people feel like they're supporting nobody ever. This is really, you know, depression. Like, people are not under control, and if I get them under control, then I won't get depressed, but this is the seed of depression. So, practice supporting people by being generous with them, and realizing then that they're being generous with you. People who sometimes don't feel like people are generous with them usually recommend that they start being generous with the people they think are not generous with them. Then they start to see that the people are generous. And some people who are practicing generosity towards someone and still don't see that the person is generous enough, do it more.

[40:36]

You will eventually see you'll actually realize that other people are supporting you. The Buddha does not teach that people are not supporting you. The Buddha does not teach that you're not supporting people. The Buddha teaches interdependence. And it's not like some part of the universe is interdependent and there's another section which isn't. It's all interdependent. But the Buddha also teaches, if you ignore this truth and then act in ignorance of it, then it'll seem like you live in a world where it's true that you're not supporting people and they're not supporting you. Or just a few people are supporting you, or some people are supporting you. The way you think, the story you tell will create a world like that. And you'll live in that world. And you'll live in that world with other people who are thinking that way, too.

[41:36]

So we have a shared world where only some people are supporting me and I'm only supporting some people. So that's a karma. And other people who have similar karma live in that world with us. So we say, yeah, there's violence and hatred and fear here. Yeah, I see it because I have similar storytelling to you. Now if we all start practicing this, practicing giving, we start to realize that this is not the world of Buddha. The world of Buddha starts to manifest without changing anything, starts to manifest right in this world. We start to realize inconceivably wonderful mutual support. And the people in the back want to talk, they come up and get a microphone. Somebody's already got one. Okay, here. Could you give it to this lady, maybe in the red? Okay, you got it?

[42:39]

Hi, my name is Carmen. Carmen. Yes, thank you for receiving my question. Okay. I believe that most human beings have dreams and want, especially in the new year, you have new resolutions for the new year and you have dreams and you have goals. Yes. I do believe that the way of the Buddha is not trying to control and not trying to push anything or just, you know, you're just driven anything. Being driven is not the right attitude towards accomplishing your goals. But how do you manifest your dreams and your goals if you're not trying to do anything? In other words, attain against the Buddha nature, isn't it? Trying to attain something. I think, again, trying to get something. Get something, right. Okay, so in a way of how... Let's say I meet someone who's sick and I want them to be well. I go to the hospital and I want them to be well.

[43:43]

I really want them to be well. And I go visit them in the hospital. But I don't expect them to get well. And I'm not trying to get them to be well. I want them to be well, but I don't try to get them to be well. It works with another person, but within yourself. Okay, myself. I'm sick. Right. I'm getting old. I'm losing my various things. Right. Stop that. I don't want to lose these various things, and I actually don't really want to lose them. these various things, but I do want to die with dignity. I want that. But I don't try to get that. I don't, well I should say, I'm not primarily trying to get dignity, I'm trying to be generous with my loss of my life. And if I'm generous with my loss of life, there will be dignity and there will be joy.

[44:46]

So I wish to practice giving, without trying to control myself into giving. I wish to practice giving in order to be dignified about dying or being sick. I wish to be dignified in my sickness. I wish to be, but I'm not trying to get the dignity. I'm trying to be generous with my sickness, and dignity will be there with that. If I try to get dignity, I will be less dignified. Dignified person isn't trying to get themselves. They're trying to give themselves in their sickness. So a person who's sick is being generous towards their own sickness. We will feel respect for that person. We will be moved by that person. We will be inspired by that person. We will see the dignity of that living being in the face of their suffering. And this will be wonderful for us and for them. And they want to be dignified, of course.

[45:47]

They want to be generous, but they're not trying to get generosity or dignity. So, we, the Buddhas, want the best for all of us and for themselves. And this is difficult for us. We think, well, if I don't want anything, then I wouldn't try to get anything. So, but the Buddhas are saying, yes, go ahead and want because you do. You want the best for all beings. Yes, go right ahead. And then try to, like, get rid of that Let go of the getting the best for everyone. Let everyone be the way they are. And this practice will culminate in the best for everyone. If you want the best for everyone, be gracious towards the way everyone is. If they're sick, be gracious towards their sickness. If they're violent, be gracious towards their violence. This way of being with the way people are will realize the best for everyone. But it's tricky. It is tricky. Especially when you really, truly, wholeheartedly want the best, it's easy to slip into trying to get the best.

[46:50]

So, that's what the teaching is here for, is, yes, want the best, that's what Buddha wants, but no seeking, no grasping, no... And if there is a seeking and grasping, then be gracious with that. start with graciousness start with giving towards whatever and the best will follow from that but giving again is not with no expectation go visit a little hoping that your visit will be helpful but no expectation that it will be and no expectation of how it would look if it was helpful so if they say get out of the room i don't want to talk to you anymore hey i gave my gift and you accepted it in the form of, hey, get out of the room, I don't like you, you're on a big paper. Okay? That isn't dealing with another human being. What about dealing with yourself when you want something? When you want something and you don't actually... I mean, do you believe that you have, for example, in sales, you have to do a certain amount of sales to get a certain amount of commissions?

[47:55]

Whatever. Be gracious with yourself. Okay. Don't like yourself. Don't dislike yourself. Love yourself. Be gracious with yourself. Accept yourself and give yourself to yourself. Moment by moment, give yourself to yourself. Give yourself to yourself. Give yourself to yourself. Give yourself to yourself. Every moment, give yourself to where you are. Okay? And then you find your place and then you realize, someday you'll realize, oh, this practice is opening me to, that I am giving myself to all beings and all beings are giving themselves to me. Now the Buddha is realized in this life. To continue this practice with everybody's support and with me supporting everybody with everybody's support and me supporting everybody on and on until everybody is immersed in this great compassion.

[48:58]

which includes any kind of desires. Give me a desire, graciousness. Another desire, graciousness. Whatever it is. And graciousness is patience and acceptance. Well, it's first, yeah, it's... and a warm feeling of not just acceptance, like, okay, but okay, yes, this is who you are. This is who I am. Yes, warm, totally supportive, appreciative of this precious life. And patience with that, it's a real irritation, this person, me. I'm a very irritating person to a lot of people. And so they get an opportunity to practice patience because of me. Okay. All right. Well, it's... Four minutes, right? Four more minutes.

[50:03]

Give that thing to somebody. The lady in red, maybe. Hi. Hi. Can you speak of what is the Buddhist practice around sexual desire? Same practice. Be gracious with sexual desire. In the relationship? You are in a relationship. Right, I know, but, you know... What? Okay, go ahead. You're in a relationship already with all beings. And if sexual feelings arise in you, I would say the Buddha way is to be gracious with sexual feelings. Like if you saw a little child with sexual feelings, you'd be gracious with them. You don't say to them, sex is bad, stop that. You know? You evil little creature feeling sex. You're not supposed to feel sex until you're 21 when you're married. No, no, no, no. Little sexy creature, be gracious with them. Let them be a sexy creature.

[51:06]

And if you're a sexy creature, let yourself be a sexy creature. really give yourself to that. And then, when you get good at that, you also... Now, someone says, well, a sexy person is fearless. Maybe she'll like, you know, what will she do, this sexy person, if she's not afraid anymore? Well, she'll just keep being generous. And she'll give herself to all beings in this fearlessness and this great... while being sexy. having sexual desires, sexual feelings. She'll be giving herself. But she will not, in this great sexual being, this enlightened practice of being generous with sexual feelings, she will not, in that moment, be trying to get anything related to this sexual feeling. She won't be trying to get something. She'll be giving the sexual feeling. And she'll let other people be sexually who they are.

[52:10]

should be generous towards them. And from this will come fearlessness, non-violence, virtue, patience, and all those other... Isn't that amazing that I would say that? Thank you. But not easy, you know, not easy to be generous with sexual feelings. Like, I would like to be closer to this person. drawn to this person's body, you know. Be generous with that feeling. But generous does not mean looking away from it, pushing it away. And generous does not mean leaning into it. Like, okay, here I go. No. It's being generous with the feeling of I'd like to be close. And then maybe you do get close to the person, but continue being generous. Don't try to get anything. Don't try to take anything. Don't try to control the other person.

[53:14]

And don't try to control yourself into being this or that. Be generous with yourself and have sexual feelings with. And from that, appropriate, I propose, from that, appropriate sexual relationships blossom. I would say to you, you have a sexual relationship with everybody in this room. generous with that, and then it will be appropriate with everyone. That's just what I think. Don't worry about it. So is it time to stop now? All right. It's nice to be free, yeah. It's nice to be free. So now you know. Giving is the way to freedom. I want to begin by offering you a kind of theory and I hope to also discuss practice, theory and practice.

[55:17]

Theory of the way of Buddha and practice of the way of Buddha. Just a few minutes ago a memory of two movies came to my mind. One movie, both movies involved or I think and were directed by a German director named Werner Herzog. And The first movie, I think, is called Grizzly Man. And it's a movie about a man who filmed himself relating to grizzly bears, I think in Alaska.

[56:26]

And the second film was a film, I think, I think the movie was Grizzly Man. And the name of the second movie was, is, I think, Escape Dawn. Is that right? Rescue Dawn. Rescue Dawn. A movie about a German-born American Air Force pilot who crashed in Laos and was rescued. And I remember when the first movie is a documentary about this grizzly man and it's a combination of this man filming himself was setting up a camera and then going over and interacting with grizzly bears.

[57:38]

And the movie's conclusion, in a sense, is that he finally was eaten by grizzly bears. But it was a documentary, in a sense, and at one point Werner Herzog said, something like the world is violence and chaos. And when he said that, you know, I respect him. And so when he said that, I thought, hmm, do I agree with that, that the world's violence and chaos? I don't know if I agree, but I certainly can understand how a human being would, in a very deep human being, the world might appear as though it were violence and chaos.

[58:49]

Chaos means disorder, a disorderly and violent world. But without going into detail, at this time anyway, I just want to say that this recent movie, Escape Dawn, the movie's one thing, but I heard him comment on the movie. And the world he saw of him working together with his community of practitioners in making this film, him working together with the actors in particular, and nature in general. In the kind of documentary about the film where he's commenting, I think he didn't say it directly, but I think he indirectly said, I saw another world, or I realized another world.

[59:58]

He didn't say this, but I think he saw a world that wasn't violence and chaos. And in the first movie where he saw violence and chaos, he was an unhappy man to see the world that way. In that world he felt that when it comes down to it, at the violent, chaotic point of our life, all human dignity is lost, and our life is really a degraded form of being. But in the second movie, he saw, I think, the nobility and greatness of the human opportunity. So I would like to tell you a theory about Buddha and a theory about the Buddha way.

[61:17]

Buddha, I proposed to you the theory that Buddha is the practice of Buddha. Buddha is the conduct and activity of Buddha. And the practice of Buddha, which is Buddha, it's not like there's Buddha and then there's a Buddha practice. The Buddha is the practice of Buddhas. And the practice of Buddhas is the same practice as all beings. That's the practice of Buddhas. And it is also the same enlightenment as all beings. What Buddha is, is Buddha is the same practice and the same enlightenment as all beings.

[62:29]

Buddha is the same kindness and generosity and virtue and concentration and wisdom and freedom as all beings. Buddha is actually, or the Buddhas are the beings who are teaching in the world of peace and harmony. The basic body of the Buddha, the basic actually embodiment of this thing called Buddha is the way that we're all helping each other in a given moment. And then again, the way we're helping each other, the way we're living in peace and harmony,

[63:44]

the way we're being generous with each other and patient with each other and ethical with each other and concentrated with each other and enthusiastic with each other, that way that we're that way with each other, that is the basic body of Buddha. It's called the true body of Buddha. And that body, that physical body, is the body is the physical, substantial, you know, that we're helping each other. It's a body, but it's not matter. It's beneficence. It's kindness. And it's kindness between bodies. And it includes all humans. plants, all mountains and rivers and trees and oceans and planets.

[64:47]

The way all beings are helping each other is the basic body of Buddha, the true body of Buddha. That body can be transformed, can manifest, for example, as a human being. like the historical Buddha in India 2,500 years ago. That is a manifestation of this basic Buddha. And that person, being human, could talk to humans and tell other humans about the Buddha, the Buddhas. But this basic Buddha body can be transformed into infinite other forms besides humans. But for humans it's important that it be transformed into a human because humans can hear and understand humans in a special way that we cannot understand mountains.

[65:56]

The way they're teaching us is not the same as the way a human being can teach us. But they are teaching us too and mountains and rivers are also, can be, the manifestation of the Buddha's teaching according to this theory. Once again, the Buddha is the practice of all beings. It's not the practice of just one being and also the Buddhist practice is not even like Shakyamuni, living in India 2,500 years ago. The way he was walking around on the earth teaching people and helping people, that one person, that's not the practice of the Buddha. That's the practice of that one person who is telling people that the Buddha is the practice of all beings.

[67:02]

The practice of the Buddha is not the practice of one person, but one person can open and enter the practice of the Buddha. One person like you can open and enter the practice of all beings. And one other theoretical offering is that the Buddha way, the way of Buddha is not, in a way, is not just the Buddha. The Buddha way is the way people, human beings for example, it's the way they with the Buddha. with the practice of all beings. It's the way each of us who has our own individual life, our own individual action, it's the way we act in relationship with all beings.

[68:21]

That's the Buddha way. And although the Buddha way includes us all, whether we want it to or not, if we don't line up our with the Buddha way, we will tend to see a world, not necessarily all the time, but we will tend to see a world of chaos and violence. So again, the theoretical proposal, the theory is that we are living in a world of reality or we are living in a world the reality of which is how we're helping each other and supporting each other and being supported by each other.

[69:30]

And if we practice according to that world we will realize And if we don't practice, we more or less will not. And when we don't realize that world, we feel, you know, that the world is more or less a dangerous, chaotic, violent, and we should try to control it, etc., to minimize our fear and distress. within that world. However, if we do certain practices within the world of violence and chaos, if we do certain practices, not just with the idea that we're doing them by ourselves, but in relationship with all beings, we enter, we open to and enter

[70:39]

the world of Buddha. And that way of practicing in this relationship is the Buddha way. So an example would be in the world of Buddha in the realm of Buddha activity, which is the realm of how all beings are in practice and same enlightenment in that world, one of the things that's going on all the time, every moment, among all beings is that all beings are giving and receiving. beings are immersed in the process of graciousness and generosity.

[71:46]

The world of Buddha is totally, totally penetrated and pervaded by... And this world, by the way, is not something that can be met with recognition. The world that we can recognize is a world where there sometimes is generosity and sometimes not. It's the world where there's sometimes kindness and sometimes violence. And sometimes order and sometimes disorder. And where we're afraid of the violence and disorder and lack of kindness and lack of generosity. Out of our fear, we feel drawn into unkindness and violence. In that world, if we practice giving, the practice of giving opens us to and allows us to enter the world we're already in.

[73:01]

We're already in this world, but if we don't practice, we don't realize it. And the world, the dharma world is always, every moment it's going on. And when we practice, we have a chance to realize it. And if we practice and realize it, we become fearless and non-violent. And we manifest, we realize the practice of all beings. And when we practice, and grateful and fearless and non-violent. However, if the next moment we somehow get distracted from being generous and get into like giving something, we get into taking something rather than receiving something, just that one moment is enough

[74:10]

to basically, in that moment, we lose our contact, our intimacy with which is the same practice as all beings and the same enlightenment as all beings. We live in the same practice and the same enlightenment of all beings practice, we realize that when we get distracted from practicing, we feel alienated from it. And again, the ways of practicing are giving first then ethics, then patience, then diligence, concentration, and finally wisdom.

[75:23]

These are the practices which we can give ourselves to generously, and through these practices we realize the truth. We don't make the truth by those practices. The truths are already around us, we realize it. And if we don't do these practices, we realize it less and less, sometimes hardly at all, sometimes. And the practice of giving can be, and according to this theory, can be every moment. And according to this theory, if you wish to be consistently fearless and non-violent, because fearlessness and non-violent go together, if you wish to have a steady happiness and kindness and generosity, then

[76:44]

it would be to learn to practice every moment. Every moment, just pretty much every moment, we're active. We're thinking. We're imagining a relationship with the world. We're doing that more or less non-stop. That thinking, which is our action of our mind and the body and the physical, the postural and vocal expressions of our thinking, when our thinking in terms of mind or mental thinking and verbal thinking, which is our karma, when our actions line up with, for example, giving, when all of our actions are offered up to and lined up with giving,

[77:58]

then we open to the giving, which is going on all the time. But if I think I wish to be generous to one of you or all of you, that thinking to you or that thinking of giving you a gift is the activity of my mind at that moment. is not the fullness of the giving that's going on.

[79:07]

But it could be an example of my thinking about giving, of my personal action, my personal way of imagining and telling a story about my wish to give. Or I might even think, I did give something to you. I did offer something to you. I might think that. I did offer you something, and I did offer you something. And I wanted to give you something, and I think, I have a thought that I did give you something. I have a story that I gave you something. Like, I could have a story, and actually I kind of do have a story. I gave you some words this morning and I gave you my body this morning. I brought my body in here and gave it to you. I could have that story. But I also have the theory which is that my story about what I've given to you is not the actual giving that's going on.

[80:28]

I could also have a story that I gave you my words and my body and my presence and you gave me your listening and your body and your presence. That could be another story I have of the giving that happened here this morning. I came and gave myself to you. You came and gave yourself to me. And you came and gave yourself to everybody else in the room. I could have that. And actually I like that story a little better than the first one. That you came and gave yourself here this morning. I came and gave myself. I gave words, you gave listening. Later you may give words and I'll give listening. But this is a story and it's not giving. That is, it's a story about Buddha. It's a story about how we're helping each other. It's not a story about how we're not helping each other.

[81:33]

I could tell that story but I didn't tell that story so far. But the story about the giving is just a story about giving. It's my action, my storytelling action applied to the theory of giving and not just a theory of I'm giving to you but also to the theory that we're always giving to each other We're always giving to each other. We're always giving to each other and receiving from each other. And I make this offering now of my thinking about that. And again, if I don't make this offering of my thinking about it, then I give, then I think something else. If I don't think about giving to you, then what do I think about? Am I thinking Even if I don't think of giving, do I kind of like believe and understand that I'm giving and believe and understand that you give? Well if I do, I would say that that's a subconscious level of thinking.

[82:39]

So I would like to actually get my subconscious and conscious lined up with giving. And I start with my conscious. storytelling that you and I'm giving to you moment by moment. I have that story and now am I remembering at this moment? And if I don't remember it, then I have a break or a slipping from the practice of thinking and having lined up with the reality of the Buddha. The reality of the Buddha is, I'm saying, that we're constantly involved in the same practice. All beings are involved in the same practice of giving, of virtue, of patience, of diligence and enthusiasm, of concentration and wisdom.

[83:51]

All beings actually involved in that. But if they don't practice those practices, they generally do not realize it. But again, by doing these practices, we open to and we align ourselves with the truth of Buddha, the practice of all beings. And again, the practice of all beings is not something that can be met with recognition, but my personal story can be met with recognition. I can recognize whether I have a story of giving or I don't think I'm giving. I can recognize if I have a story of, I'm actually kind of, have a story of trying to get something from somebody. That's my story. That's the story I've got.

[84:53]

Now, if I've got a story that I'm trying to get something from someone, is it possible to have a moment where I'm kind of concerned of getting something from someone? But that's the activity of my mind now, and my body maybe too, that I'm trying to get something from someone, some person, or trying to get something from a mountain, like gold, or copper, or gold. I'm trying to get something. Is it possible while I'm trying to get something from a living person, or from a mountain, to practice realizing giving at that time? And I would say, yes. that the can be practiced right along with the story of taking or trying to get. The giving can grow at the same time. So we have this expression, the horse can arrive or does arrive before the donkey leaves.

[85:55]

So you don't have to get rid of being who maybe thinks of trying to get something from other persons or get something from lunch or get something from the earth Some people think about getting something from the earth. Right? Even though in the Buddha's world, the earth is always giving to you. The earth is supporting you. Every moment of your life, the earth has been supporting you and you have been supporting the earth. You never weren't supporting the earth. The earth wasn't supporting you. Even if you go up in a spaceship, the earth is still supporting you. and you're supporting the earth. You can't get away from giving. But you can forget to think of it. And you can think, I'm trying to get something. But while you're trying to get something, you can also practice giving. You can give a confession.

[86:59]

Get something from you today. I was having a conversation with you, but I was really trying to get something from you. I admit that. And I give my admission. I make a gift of admitting that I was trying to get. And also I was now I'm generous and gracious towards myself who is a person who's trying to get something from another person or from a plant or from an animal or from a mountain. I graciously allow myself to be who I am. as a human being habit of trying to get something. So I'm practicing giving right while I'm trying to get or even take or even steal. So if a person is trying to steal something, they're actually living in Buddha's world at the same time, they're ignoring it, they're thinking, their mind, their activity is stealing.

[88:04]

That's what they think. simultaneously everyone is supporting them and being generous with them and they in their stealing are supporting everyone and being generous with everyone but they don't see it. Stealing is when you don't feel generous towards others really and you don't think they're being generous towards you. But if in the moment of stealing you could be honest and notice it and then also be gracious to others. Then there's giving simultaneously with stealing. And then in another moment there could be stealing with giving. And then in another moment there could be maybe not stealing but trying to get. But again giving, and again giving, and again giving. And the giving can get bigger and bigger and bigger. Generally speaking people who steal are afraid. So there's probably fear too.

[89:06]

People are not giving me, I'm going to get, I'm going to steal, and there's fear. I'm getting fear along with this. I'm afraid of getting caught, afraid of not getting what I want, afraid of being me, afraid of what's going to happen to me. But there can be giving at that time too. Graciousness with my fear. so that you can grow up in the context of all kinds of unskillful ways of thinking. The skillful way of thinking can grow in the unskillful way of thinking. The way of thinking of giving can grow in the way of thinking of stealing. and the way of thinking in terms of taking and getting is already quite strong.

[90:13]

So that's the way it is for many of us, that's quite strong. But we can practice giving practice and it can get stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger until finally the previously strong getting practice is kind of I don't know what the word is. It's not much of a problem anymore because the giving is so that it practices graciousness with this pettiness. Every time there's a pettiness, the graciousness grows stronger because it keeps loving the pettiness. It's kind to the pettiness. And the pettiness is quite frightening to us, our pettiness. And sometimes other people's pettiness is quite frightening. But as the giving gets stronger, the pettiness is less and less frightening. And in that sense we love the pettiness, not like it, but love it, like loving a petty child.

[91:31]

And by loving the petty child we realize that the petty child, the frightened child, the frightened child therefore petty child, that child lives in a world where that child is supporting all beings and all beings are supporting that child. We realize that even though we can't recognize it. Our mind, our thinking is never big enough to recognize it. But we can open to it by having our thinking be steadily aligned with that way of thinking, which is a thinking about being generous with every thing that comes. So as we conduct our life, or as our life is conducted, as we live our life, every moment of practicing giving, of to think, I want to practice giving right now.

[92:50]

And I make this moment of action giving. And if I can't see that this moment of action is giving, then I am gracious towards this moment, this action, which I just can't see as giving. It looks to me like stealing. I have to be honest. It really looks like stealing. Okay, then practice giving feeling by letting that feeling be stealing. Graciously let the stealing be stealing, and then that's a gift. Let what you don't think is giving be that you don't think it's giving. And then you have giving. And this is in alignment with giving is what is always happening. Stealing is only due to human imagination.

[93:52]

There really is no stealing that can be found. And also, there really is no giving which can be found. Giving can't be found. But even though you can't find it, because giving actually can't be met with recognition, you can realize it together with everybody else. It can be realized but and also stinginess or stealing and violence also cannot be found and seem to be realizable. We seem to be able to realize unskillfulness and harm. No shortage of that. But we can also realize that there is a world where there is no stealing, no lying, no killing,

[95:01]

no misuse of sexuality, no intoxication, and so on. There is a world like that, that that's the way things are. The way things are is that things aren't that way. And we can realize that world by these practices. And once again, every moment, because every moment is the point. What you think, if you think that this is not the moment, that's the world of violence and chaos, that way of thinking. This is not the moment for giving. There isn't giving going on here. It's a violent, dog-eating chaotic world. Even though dog-eat-dog isn't too chaotic,

[96:05]

So the Buddha way is not exactly in a sense the Buddha way is not the world where we are living in perfect peace and harmony. The Buddha way is in a sense the communication or the relationship between our little world where we about trying to get something, in that world of our thinking, how that communicates with the world where we're always generous with beings who are always generous. How those worlds communicate the relationship there. how we give our limited world over to practicing in accord with the Buddha way. With the Buddha is the Buddha way.

[97:17]

And the Buddha way is nothing in addition to that. And also, once again, if we think about, if we act in the form of thinking about practicing this way, we may think it would be difficult to be consistent. And I understand that. I could think that too.

[98:19]

Or we might think it would be easy to be inconsistent. probably I could do this once or twice, but to do it every moment, probably I wouldn't be able to. I would just guess that I wouldn't be able to. And if I try it, I find out, yeah, I wasn't able to be consistent. There were many moments where I didn't actually say, I'm giving myself to this conversation. I'm giving my thoughts, or my thoughts are of giving, and my speech is of giving, and my posture is of giving. I missed a moment of remembering that. And actually I slipped into, I went to sleep and I slipped trying to get something again. So now again I give myself to the practice of confessing that, that I forgot. I met someone, there was an opportunity to think of giving and I didn't think of giving. I confess that. Actually I thought of what I was doing or I thought of what

[99:22]

they were going to do to me. So I confess that that was my orientation. By the way, I think also one could practice not so much trying to get something but also being look to see how other people are giving to me. I want to give to everybody that I meet, every being that I meet. I say that, I think that, and then a moment arises, I meet someone and I say, now I want this to be a gift. I give my presence to this person. I give my life to this person. This person's giving herself to me. This person's giving herself to me. This person's giving herself to me. He's giving me his speech. He's giving me his body. He's giving me his thoughts. He may not think he is. He looks like maybe he doesn't think so. So his thinking is not lined up with the fact that he's giving himself to me.

[100:25]

So he looks afraid because he doesn't look like he's thinking he's giving me a gift. He looks like he's about trying to get something from me and he's afraid he's not going to get it. That's what he looks like but he's actually a gift to me. He's giving me an opportunity to see that he's giving me to me and he's giving me an opportunity to give to him. Everybody who comes brings the gift of giving me the opportunity to give to them. They always do. So I can also think of my activity, my mental activity to think of how you're all bringing me gifts every moment. And also make my body like a body which is like a gift-receiving body. And make my voice a gift-receiving voice. It's both a gift, it's both giving and receiving. My body is both giving and receiving.

[101:27]

Your body is both giving and receiving. That's the theory. That's the teaching today from me to us, from you to us, about what the Buddha is. So the practice is to line up your karma, to line up your story with that teaching if you want to. And once again, if my story does not line up with you're giving to me, I'm giving to you, then I'll have another story, which is not such a happy story. It could be a story like, occasionally you give to me, and occasionally I give to you. Or even, you never give to me. You never give me anything. You just try to get stuff from me, and because of that, I don't want to give you anything. But even if I say, I don't want to give you anything, I could still say, I don't want to give you anything, but I can't help it. I don't want to give you one single thing, but Buddha is forcing me to give to you all the time.

[102:32]

I'm dragged into, by Buddha, being generous to you non-stop, even though I don't really want to give you anything. Because I don't see yet that you're being also dragged by Buddha to be generous with me all the time. So I have to train my mind, train my body, train my speech. These words are a testament to my constant giving to you and your constant giving to me. That's what this word is for. This word, these words are for testifying and witnessing to my constant giving to you and to me. So it's a testament of faith in this teaching of Buddha. This teaching of Buddha, this teaching of what Buddha is. What Buddha is, I'm saying, is inconceivable, mutual, constant giving

[103:37]

constant effort, constant virtue, constant patience, mutual patience, mutual patience. You're being patient with me. I'm being patient with you. My speech, my posture, my body, my posture and my thoughts are dedicated to that. And if I slip, I do the practice of confessing. That thought was not dedicated to that. And I don't feel so good about that. I lost track of the giving and the patience between going in both directions, all directions. I lost it. I admit it. And I wish to sign up again for the Buddha Way.

[104:28]

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