We just chanted what can be translated as a verse to arouse the vow. We've been using the word intention a lot and related to and kind of related to and not exactly the same, but related closely to the word intention and vow, is prayer or pray. And again, we may not think, yeah, I don't know, pray often means to pray to beg or beseech or request.

[01:05]

That's one way that we often think of it, but a prayer can also be an intention. So when we say, may we this, may we that, those are vows, those are prayers, those are intentions. So it's kind of like, we often think of intending as going from the consciousness of the intender towards the world situation. But also it's requesting. So it's both an outward intention and also inward intention. People often ask me, is it okay to pray in Zen? Does prayer have any place in Zen?

[02:14]

And I say, well, in a way our sitting is our prayer. Sitting upright is our intention. We intend to sit upright, but when we're sitting upright, we intend uprightness in the world. When we're present in our sitting, presence in the world. And we request presence in the world. We beg for it We beseech it. We want everybody, we want people to be present and we want people to be present. We want all the Buddhas to come and be present. And our sitting is an expression of our wishing for the presence of awakening. Or I could say that there is that understanding, there is that intention, which is a certain kind of sitting called the Buddha's sitting.

[03:25]

That's the way my understanding would be. That's how the Buddhists sit. The Buddhists say, come and sit with us and we intend to sit with you and we intend for you to be present with us the way we're present with you. We intend to be as upright as we are and we intend to be upright with you as you can be. We wish to be that way too. Such things are cognitive activities And I wrote prayer down partly because I want to invite the abbess to come up here, please.

[04:25]

And anybody else who knows the song, Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? No, anybody else who knows the song, As I Went Down to the River to Pray. Does anybody else know that song? I can't remember the word. And we got the words. We've got the words. Anybody else know the... I know the Alison Krauss version. Yeah, that's the one. So this is about praying. This is a song about praying. This is a song about karma, about intention. Somebody want to hit a nice pitch? Down the river to pray, standing up the good old way, and who shall wear the starry crown of good Lord in the way?

[05:42]

Oh, sisters, let's go down, let's go down, come on down. Oh, sisters, let's go down, down into the river to pray. The river to praise, setting out that good old way, and who shall wear the robe and crown, good Lord, show me the way. Oh, brother, let's go down, let's go down, down. Oh, brother, let's go down, down in the river to praise. I went down to the river to pray, studying about that good old way, and who shall wear the starry blood, showing me the way. Oh, Father, let's go down, let's go down, come on down.

[06:52]

Oh, Father, let's go down, down to the river to pray. Went down in the river to pray Studying about that good old way And who shall wear the robe and crown Good Lord, show me the way Oh, mothers, let's go down Let's go down Oh, mothers, let's go down Down in the river to pray I went down in the river to pray, studying about that good old way, and who shall wear the crown? Good Lord, show me the way. Oh, sinners, let's go down, let's go down, come on down.

[07:53]

Oh, sinners, let's go down, down to the river to pray. And I went down in the river to pray, studying about that good old way. And I said, where is my great-grand-grandfather? Show me the way. Thank you. In various traditions, robes are worn. We speak of people of the cloth, men and women of the cloth.

[08:58]

In various traditions, beings wear starry crowns. I sense and I really understand quite deeply that it's somewhat difficult to understand what intention is, what vow is, what prayer is, what the activity of mind is, partly because we have not been well educated to meditate on these topics. Now we are being educated to meditate on these topics and it's a new kind of experience to some extent for many of us. And even for those who have been meditating on the mind and its activity, it still goes deeper and deeper.

[10:05]

But I think the English word vow, intention, and action we don't usually think of as, you know, the way the mind is shaped. But fundamentally, it's been proposed that that is what it is. I also thought as I was walking up the deck here about this, I often watch a movie called Hana and her sisters. In the end of the movie, I think it is, is Hana's 40th birthday. And they're having a birthday party, she and her sisters. And they have the cake with the candles. Something like, make a wish. And she says, well, okay, it's not exactly a wish. It's not exactly a vow.

[11:12]

It's not exactly an intention. It's not exactly a wish. It's not exactly a request. It's not exactly a hope. It's not exactly those kinds of things. But it is those things. It's just that, in other words, it's not what we usually think of as a wish. It's a vision, she says. It's a vision. We usually don't think of a vision as a wish. But you know, you can vision something and you kind of go like, may it be like that. Or you can see something, may it be like this. Like at the end of the Bodhisattva initiation ceremony, we say, the officiant sometimes says, may your practice of the precepts always be like this.

[12:13]

These people are like, they're wishing to practice these precepts. They're like, do you want to practice these precepts? Yes. From now on, and even after realizing Buddhahood, will you continue to practice them? Yes, I will. [...] Will you? Yes, I will. Will you? Yes, I will. Will you? Yes, I will. May you be like this. May you practice like this. Maybe you won't always practice like that. Maybe sometimes you say, just a minute, let me think about that. But sometimes we see something and we say, we pray, we pray, you know, we pray, we wish, and we say, it's good. We want that. This is what we're here for. This is a mental activity. It's not just being aware of the person. It's lining up with it. It's not being aware of the situation.

[13:16]

It's saying, I want to be like that. That's karma. That's action. That's intention. That's a prayer. That's a vision. And it's a vision which you're lined up with. Sometimes you see a vision, like you see somebody doing something really good and you think, That's another vision. Sometimes you see someone and it looks like they're doing something unskilled and you say, I don't want to do that. That's another vision. That's another prayer. And all these prayers, all these visions, all these intentions have consequence. Have consequence. And they also depend on past visions. past intentions, past vows. Every moment there is a vow, it depends on past vows and has consequence of future vows.

[14:18]

And it depends on this world, it arises in this world, it depends on this world, it depends on past worlds and causes future worlds. And it causes it together with everybody else. That's why we want everybody to join our good vows. We want people to join the good, which means we want people to join awareness of their vows, awareness of their wishes, awareness of their visions. Every moment we have a vision, every moment we have a vision of our world and our place in it. We don't ever not have one. Attending to that is the practice. And what was her vision, by the way, around the birthday cake? She said, it's not a wish. It's not exactly a wish. It's more like a vision. Of the three of us standing by this birthday cake together in harmony.

[15:27]

It's the three of us being here loving each other. That's the vision I have now. And it's kind of like a wish too, but it's actually what I see right now. And she said, and it's just for now. It's just now. So that was a nice ending to that movie. But anyway, I understand this is hard to understand. It's a different way of using the words, but I'm trying to connect vision with action and action with vision. If vision and action aren't connected, I would say generally speaking we're going to have unhappy visions and unhappy actions because they are connected. The way we understand affects what we want and what we pray for. What we pray for affects what we want and what our actions are.

[16:30]

Fundamentally, the fundamental action of mind is intention, is vow, is prayer, is a request. And the more we study these requests, the more the request on the surface reflects what Suzuki Rishi called the inmost request, the deepest request, the most fundamental request, is here every moment in reality. And the more we study our request that we can see easily, or that we can see, and see more and more deeply, the more we see the deeper, deeper, deeper vow. request. It's in our nature, by our birth, by our origin. During the Tathāsara practice period I brought up this

[17:35]

this meditation called the Self-Perceiving and Employing Samadhi, and in particular I brought up how that meditation can be seen as meditation on light. And after talking about it for a while, one of the people, a very sincere person, said she felt like this talk about light was kind of airy-fairy, or the 60s, or was it Kumbaya or something? She said, you know, it just made me feel like the 60s again. I felt a little uncomfortable. Anyway, when you talk about light or even sweetness and light, people sometimes feel a little uneasy in a different way than they feel uneasy when you talk about bitterness and darkness. But when you talk about bitterness and darkness, they don't feel like we're, you know, they don't worry about being back in the 60s. So there is that danger when I bring up the issue of light.

[18:58]

But anyway, in the tradition of the Buddha Dharma, we have a Buddha, our main Buddha in a way. We have Shakyamuni Buddha on this planet, you know, but in terms of cosmic perspective on our practice here, because this practice is a cosmic practice, because we are born cosmically and we express ourselves cosmically. We have cosmic effects and we are cosmic effects. Our actions have cosmic effect and we are the results of cosmic effects, cosmic conditions, cosmic causes. Our cosmic Buddha is not Shakyamuni Buddha, Our cosmic Buddha is Vairochana Buddha. And Vairochana Buddha sits on a lotus with a thousand petals, and on each petal sits Shakyamuni Buddha. They're working together.

[20:01]

Shakyamuni Buddha comes and goes, or came and went. Vairochana Buddha doesn't come and go. He's the Dharmakaya Buddha. Someone just gave me a painting of Vairacchana. Japanese is Dainichi Nyorai. Dainichi means big sun Buddha. Vairacchana means universal or cosmic light. Anywhere is a starry crown and robes. He's a light Buddha. He's the Buddha of light. He is, that's the Buddha's name, cosmic universal illumination. So maybe during Sashin, you know, we'll go into the womb of light more.

[21:12]

I just wanted to tell you, get you ready for the light. And just tell you that There's a chapter also called Awakening by Light. And the Buddha in the Avatamsaka Sutra is Vairocana Buddha, the light Buddha. So a little bit about light. So, the Zen master Yun Men says, I think he said, you all have light, or you all are light. And he all answers questions for himself because he had really lousy students. He said, the kitchen pantry, the front gate, the Buddha hall, that's the light.

[22:15]

story of the coming into being of cognition, which is the story of the coming and being of what? Intention. The story of the coming and being of cognition is the story of the coming of being of what? Light. Light, yes, but what else? I didn't tell you that before. Light. What? Life. Life. Life. The coming into being of life has the same story in the Buddha Dharma as the coming of being into cognition or consciousness. Same birth story. And it's also the story of light. And so what's the story of the coming into being of cognition? Huh?

[23:19]

Not basically. What? A sensual world? Yeah. Interacting between the sensuous or sensible world and the sensual body. That interaction is the coming into being of cognition. Now that comes with it. Karma comes with it. But that's basically just cognition itself, life itself. Life and cognition come with action. activity. But the basic living thing itself is knowing, is perception, life. And that's the story of its conditions for being. Oh, and also there's the past.

[24:24]

A past cognition is also a condition. Sensuous body, sensible world and past cognitions. Past cognitions. We now have a new cognition. So sensuous body, sensitive body, body sensitivity, sense organs, sensible world interacting with the previous life. Previous life, New life now becomes a condition for next life. So this is the story of life and cognition. Where's the light? Well, the light is the interaction between your body and the world. It's the way you're dancing with the world.

[25:26]

That's your light. your consciousness is actually clear, light. But also, the world you are on is light because it is inseparable from the interaction which is involved with, which is your light. And your body, your body, particularly your sense organs, are light. So your physical organs are light. What's stimulating them to function is light, and the interaction is light. This light is vairucana. This is cosmic light. It's not physical light. Well, the physical light has a light. One of the types of gross materiality is physical radiation.

[26:27]

that turns bodies like ours on. That light has a light. But smells have a light. Sounds have a light. Tastes have a light. They all have light. And the sense organs have light. The interaction has, consciousness itself, life itself has light. Definition of light? Light is a quality, actually, in this case, of it's clear, you can't see it, and it illuminates. And so consciousness is clear. It doesn't have a color or a texture. You can see through it. It's clear. And it illuminates. So light illuminates.

[27:29]

But you can't see light. You can't see physical light even. You only see what it bounces off of. You only see what reflects it. You don't see it. You see what reflects it. However, it illuminates things, and you see what it illuminates, and in that way you know it. So the process of illumination in this universe is the way you interact with the universe. That interaction is the process the universe uses to illuminate itself. and it illuminates itself in the gross physical, and it illuminates itself in the subtle physical, and it illuminates itself in the cognitive. And it can illuminate the activity which arises with consciousness, which we call karma. Karma is the type of cognitive activity which is moral.

[28:34]

The moral action is karma. So by studying karma, we come to appreciate the process of illumination, which is going on all the time. Karma also has light by its origination. But if we don't study karma, even if we don't, basically we think this light business is silly. We might think the light business is silly if we don't study karma, because we don't see the light. By studying karma, we come to see the light, and by not studying the karma, we come to be blinded to it. We come to be blinded to our own light. We come to be blinded to our own brilliance. And that's another thing.

[29:39]

Marilynne Robinson pointed out is she can kind of see the brilliance of her students, her students of storytelling and story writing, but she can see how they've been taught to not know about their brilliance and not to enjoy their brilliance, not to know about their light. they've been taught in such a way that they're distracted from their own brilliance, from enjoying it and knowing it. So I want us to not be distracted from our light. And studying karma is actually studying this kind of visioning which we're doing. We're doing this visioning. Studying the visioning that we do every moment is path to the revelation of our intimate relationship with Vairachana Buddha, with enlightenment.

[30:52]

I can that you raise your hand. You don't have to keep doing it over and over and over. I won't forget. Well, do you have a piece of paper to write them down? One, two, three, four. But do you know now that I can remember? I can remember these kinds of things? But I wanted to say some things before I respond to the questions. Is that okay, Raven? Unless that's enough for everybody. Is it enough? Should I stop? Once again, if you give close attention to the activity of your cognitions, I predict that you will experience the brilliance of your cognitions.

[32:25]

And this will be very enjoyable to you, as it is to your teachers. who are watching your activity and seeing your brilliance and finding it very nourishing and delightful. It's possible, as you know, to watch somebody else's activity and see the brilliance, which is not that bad. But if you aren't looking at your own action, Then you might stop even being able to see the brilliance of other people's action and think actually that they're dark, sinister figures without light. But if you study your own, you will discover your own and you will discover that it's fresh and the true nature of your life and also then you'll be able to see it in others.

[33:31]

I also want to mention, to encourage you to, as I saw on the cover of a magazine a few minutes ago, I would encourage you to befriend your breath. Befriend. Befriend your breath. Friend your breath. Befriend with your breath. Close friends with your breath. Why not? I would encourage you to befriend your breath and thereby let your energy be focused. That will help you with your focused energy. ...being your actions more accessible and interesting. You will be less likely to be distracted from your own brilliance if you're more concentrated

[34:33]

at some feedback and I want to ask for some more but some of the feedback I've gotten is that some people feel like the classes this time have been easier to understand or that they're understanding more easily or that they're understanding or something like that. I don't mind. I'm not primarily to talk in ways that you can never understand. I don't mind if you're having a good time. And so then I didn't bring up this thing about the Samdhi Nirmacana Sutra's three aspects to make it hard again. I actually thought it might be good to bring it up to tie some things together. And I wanted to bring up a little bit more of it now before I open to questions. And that is, I talked about how direct experience, direct cognition, itself, but also not just direct cognition, but any cognition is kind of basic.

[35:46]

And then upon that basic cognition, our mind constructs visions, visions of our relationship visions of a pattern of relationship between us and the world. Every moment our mind does this, and this again, this vision or this mental construction is moral activity. The type of vision that our mind constructs has consequence, moral consequence. This kind of vision has good consequence. This kind of vision has unfortunate consequence. Okay? And in a sense, that process is parallel to what we maybe call road building. A way of making the light something you can get a hold of.

[36:53]

Because this light, again, we talked about being afraid of the... change of interdependence, but also we are afraid of the light. So we build a road in the light so we can kind of get a hold of the light. So what I want to point out is that in these characteristics, the basic cognitive process is an other-dependent phenomena and is the other-dependent phenomena. The road building or the mental construction is the way we put something on top of transient radiance, because even radiance isn't permanent, pulsing transient particles, waves of particles and so on.

[37:56]

The the way we put that projection on this process is mental karma, cognitive activity. Sorry. Can I go on? I wish you would go back and set it. You lost something? Yeah, I did. The role building is the amputation. Yeah. The other dependent character? is cognition. Cognition doesn't make itself happen. It depends on past cognitions, but cognition doesn't make itself happen. It is the interplay of bodies and bodies. It's a dance, but you can't get a hold of it. And it's brilliant. It's brilliant and ungraspable. And the person who is this living being is this radiance and is this ungraspable dance.

[39:01]

And the person still can be afraid if the person doesn't understand this radiant, transient dance. The person can still be afraid. And then the person wishes to construct something so the person can talk about it or think about it. Or the person wants to think about it so that... when you project the imputational character upon the light, you can talk about it then. Say, there's the light. That feels good. It doesn't completely eliminate the fear, but in order to talk about the light, you have to put the imputational character over it. Okay? And then as a result of that, we get a world which has affliction in it. If we very tentatively, just for the moment, project something on top of the other dependent, if we put the other dependent so we can talk about it just very tentatively and then don't hold to it any longer, then we don't believe that what we put on it so we can talk about it is it.

[40:08]

Once again, if you put it on so you can talk about it and then you pass it along, don't hold on to it, and don't forget you put something on somebody to talk about her then affliction doesn't come up. But when you put something on something to be able to talk about it and then you hold to it, then affliction arises. And we forget the tentative provisional quality, projection, and then affliction arises. So what I want to point out, and this is kind of a review, I think, but what I want to point out today is that the road building itself, the mental construction, if we grasp the ungraspable, boundless experience, it also has another dependent character and an imputational character.

[41:14]

So this is a little bit more instruction about how to study because as you look at the imputational character, it also is another dependent character. In other words, it's a projection upon dependent core arising that's happening at the moment so we can grasp and talk about what's happening. But it itself is a dependent core arising But in order to study the projection, we then put a projection on the projection so we can talk about the projection. So the projection also has a thoroughly established character. Just like any phenomena has a thoroughly established character, which is that our projections about it are not in it. Similarly, our projections on things have a thoroughly established character. Namely, our projections on our projections are not found in our projections. Our projections are also boundless. Which is, this is part of what makes it very complicated how we imagine what's going on in a way that we can talk about it and then to study how we can do it very tentatively and let go of it and do another one

[42:32]

Or we can do it tentatively and forget it's tentative and hold on to it and make it permanent and suffer. And then also realize that also in order to study it, we need to put a projection on that to get a hold of that. But it's also possible not to do that same way there. So I just thought I'd add that additional layer of complexity into the picture. And I add this in because this is how I think your mind works. It is complicated like this. by this teaching, you see. This teaching would say, everything has its three qualities and each of these three qualities has its three qualities. And when we're talking about these three qualities, then we're doing imputational character on all three. But all three are really other-dependent qualities. and all three of them are perfectly pure of any imputation, actually. It's just a little confusion that we think that the imputation and what's imputed upon are stuck together.

[43:34]

And that's the thoroughly established, that we think they're stuck together? Thinking that they're stuck together is confusion. It's confusion. But holding them together is confusion. But they're not actually together. And by studying how you hold them together, you get to see how they're separate. How the one is absent in the other. And seeing that is seeing the thoroughly established character. And that's not confusion. That's not confusion. That's wisdom. And so that's quite a bit. The one more thing I wanted to say was, before I open up to the questions, is my wife said to me, I think she said something like, I can't remember what she said, but one thing she said was, she said, are they having a good time?

[44:38]

I said, I'm going to ask them. She said, are you going to tell them that I asked you that? I said, yeah. And I did. Are you having a good time? Yes. Hallelujah. So that's another question. Do you have any feedback? Or questions? Really? All of them? The other one was that I thought before we build the world, things are dark. And only when we look at the world building, it lights us up. But I understand it now that it's already light. It just sort of gets dark by the karmic activity. But then it gets kind of re-enlightened.

[45:43]

It gets re-enlightened, and part of the complexity of our imagery and language is that the re-enlightenment or the enlightenment about the light often happens through seeing the darkness. And the darkness, in some sense, the thoroughly established character is sometimes called darkness, because it's an absence. You can't actually see it. So by seeing the absence of the imputational character in the other dependent, or seeing the lack of self, seeing the impermanence and lack of self in our activity, in our pictures, seeing that opens our eyes to see the spiritual light which is always there. But the thing is, among the many things to study, if you don't your visions if you don't study your mental constructions, your karma. But not studying that makes it so you can't see the light of anything.

[46:51]

But studying that gradually or whatever suddenly drops away so you can see. Plus it also causes a positive evolution of the visions But the visions, no matter how good they get, are always kind of a problem, kind of in closing. They're still a little bit of a problem. But if you pay attention to your conscious constructions, you will be able to see, in a sense, through the phenomena of mind. So, in one sense, it's totally wonderful and mind is light, body is light, all phenomena are light, body is boundless, all phenomena are boundless, mind is boundless.

[47:54]

But in a sense, the main problem is because the mind, untended, The consequence of not tending to the mind and its constructions is not being able to attend to the mind and its constructions. And not attending to the mind becomes an obstruction. Did somebody raise his hand and leave? You're still here. Yes. In general, and in particular in life, there's Befriend your breath? Befriend my breath. Good. But I find it sort of confusing to switch and go back and forth between focusing on my breath and then trying to think about what my intention is. I would say basically that... that if you bend your breath, your energy gets focused, you feel tranquil and, you know, bright and alert and relaxed, that in that situation you could then look to see what your intention is, namely, how do you see yourself in relationship to the practice, to the world, to the tradition, to the… look at it.

[49:21]

If you look at it and you continue to feel relaxed, concentrated, focused, alert, and bright, and joyful, continue. If you start to lose your sense of focus, drop the looking at the intention and go back to just giving up being involved in your intention. Giving up being involved with your intention is similar to giving up your thinking. giving up your discursive thought. But another way to say give up discursive thought is befriend your breath. Just inhale, exhale, just be with that in a friendly way. And if thinking arises, you just let it go. And keep doing that until you feel quite calm and alert and so on. And then you can look at your thinking, what you've been letting go of. It's been going on to some extent the whole time, but you've been mostly doing child care for your breath and not looking at all the people, all the conversations in the neighborhood.

[50:34]

because you're focused on caring for this phenomena of the breath. You can start listening to these stories and looking at them. and thinking, ah, hmm, hmm, hmm, that's that kind of story, that's that kind of story, hmm, hmm. I see myself related to people and people related to people in these ways, kind of like this way and that way. And then if you can just continue. But usually it's good just to occasionally check back on the focusing just to make sure you haven't lost touch with focus. Because when you lose touch with focus, you may lose touch with what it's like to be focused, right? So it's one of the advantages of being focused is you can tell when you lose it. Because you're kind of used to being balanced and calm, and then suddenly there's this big turbulence, and you go, whoa, this is unfamiliar now.

[51:36]

This is not my usual. Oh, this is like agitation. Oh, yeah, agitation. Or depression. Yeah, that's what that is. But if you don't know the concentrated, buoyant, relaxed mind, it's hard to spot when you lose it. So losing it is Being able to see when you lose it is very nice because not only do you notice that you lose it so you can reconnect, but you can notice what kind of things cause the disturbance of the tranquility. And often what disturbs the tranquility is strongly adhering to the story you're telling about what's going on. like, you know, whatever. These people are really great meditators, could really throw you for a loop. Not to mention, these people are low-quality meditators. And to have that thought's okay.

[52:39]

As a matter of fact, some of you may have had thoughts like that. Or Buddha's a great meditator, right? Even the thought, Buddha's a great meditator, if you grab that, it'll throw you for a loop. And if you're calm, you'll feel yourself going through the loop. But if you're going through loops and you grab... That's the kind of thing that causes you to go for a loop. Does that make sense? So even if you feel pretty good, it's good to check back and stop holding on to any thoughts for a while and see if that makes you calmer or not, and then see if you are comfortable staying that way or not. And if you are calm... And once again, sometimes you know you're calm when you get disturbed because you realize, oh, this is really different. This is a disturbance of my calm. Yes, Scott? Along the same line, a problematic situation that arises for me is when the story that I'm already very conscious that I'm playing to and trying to work with, essentially just letting it be, letting it go a little bit, coming back to my breath,

[53:53]

A story of letting be? Yeah. You can have a story of letting be, yes. The one that's removed from that, like a really conventional story, that's even more even is even the one that I'm trying to let be. A little slower. A little slower, please. Okay. How about this? Okay, let me say it. First you said you had a story about let it be. Okay, now, another example? Another example is, this is my job. Uh-huh. Right. If circumstances require me to participate in that, like that particular story, Again, I got it. Let me say something. May I? Circumstances, did you say require? Require? Circumstances require me.

[54:53]

So that kind of additional language into this story about this is my job, this is my job, it sounds like we're starting to hold on to this story a little more tightly here. It does sometimes happen that people hold on too tightly to the story, let it be. Sometimes they do, like hold on to that story too tightly. The one about let it be, relax. They sometimes hold on to it, but not very often. It's kind of antithetical, you know, let it be and hold on to it tightly. But this is my job. Some people say this is my job and they're relaxed when they say that. And then they say, but it's required to me that I, you know, do this job and then I hold on. Now it's starting to get tense. Now the relaxation is starting to get eroded, maybe. Now the tranquility may not yet be eroded, but the relaxed way of being is starting to get eroded. So now, actually, you're not doing tranquility meditation, but you could switch now to look, okay, I got a story that this is my job.

[55:59]

I even have a story that I'm supposed to be uptight about this a little bit, that people are actually requiring me to really be rigid about this. And some people say, yes, Scott, we want you to be rigid about this. We want you to take care of this really well, and we don't want you to loosen up. Somebody else would say, I want you to do it well, and I think part of you doing it well would be if you relax a little bit more. But some people give you kind of a potentially harmful stories, like tense up around your job and do not ever veer away from it. But we also have internalized this stuff. You know how to say that yourself. So now you watch this story and notice this is not such a skillful story, potentially. But even that, don't be too rigid about that it's not skillful, because it might be not that bad. That attitude, again, is more the way of studying, more skillful way to study your intentions.

[57:07]

You want to go on? Did that take care of it? I think I'm not going to go on. People do kind of like tell us to do things in such a way as to distract us from our radiance. There's a lot of anti-happiness teachings going around in our workplaces. So work's a very good place, of course, to work. Because you're working, so pay attention to your work. You are doing something, so pay attention to how you're doing it. Now, if you're tranquil, you're going to be more effective at paying attention to it because if you're paying attention to it in a way that's... If the action is not so good and you're paying attention to it in a not-so-good way, your tranquility gets eroded. But you can stop on the job, especially in a place like this, stop that and return to tranquility and then re-enter the work in such a way that it doesn't disturb you.

[58:15]

I don't know who was next. Bernard, maybe, yeah. I talked to you earlier this morning about faith. Yeah. Since we opened up the class with the nice faith song, I was just thinking, and then I was actually, as we read the sutra, or attended the sutra, there was the paragraph about revealing and disclosing our lack of faith. Part of the thing I didn't mention to you this morning was... When I'm practicing, there's this deep faith, but when I don't practice, there's still a faith there, but part of what kind of gets me is this faith also. But there's an aspect of faith that seems to fall away when I'm not practicing. And so in terms of the last part of the sutra, revealing and disclosing this lack of faith, I think you just actually, the last two or three questions, there was a lot of material in there that kind of spoke to that, too.

[59:24]

So I wondered if there was any more. Well, one thing that just came to my mind just now was that I was reading this, I've had this book for 35 years or whatever it's called. It's called, and Elaine is, I decided to look at it after having it all these years. It's called something like I think it's called Initiations and Initiates or Initiates and Initiation in Tibetan Buddhism by Alexandra David-Neal. She's talking about faith. She's talking about that in the Catholic tradition, they sometimes have people do rituals, people who do not believe to do rituals. And then they kind of have the theory, and maybe some confirmation of this theory, that if we do these rituals, as they do them more and more, they will come to believe while they're doing the rituals.

[60:26]

And she thought, oh, that Tibetan Buddhism, or maybe you could say Buddhism in general, has a totally different view of it. It isn't that we do these rituals so that we believe, but doing these rituals So it isn't that you do the practice and then you believe. It's that you do the practice, and that's what he wants you to do, is the practice. Doesn't Dogen suggest that? Yeah, he does. But the belief is actually that you do the practice and then you believe. The belief is actually that you're doing the practice. And right in the practice is the realization. It's right there. So I don't know if that really characterizes the way all Catholic sages see things, but that's what... Some of them see it that way. Take the unbeliever, get them to do it, but in some sense, when you get them to do it, that's enough belief right there.

[61:31]

And if they do it, it isn't that they will believe, because that's really what the belief is, is the practice, but they will realize the practice and realize No realization in addition to the practice. They will understand that. So it's a little bit different, and there's a tricky little thing in there about that. And also it says in this text, it says lack of faith practice. Is faith in practice, faith and practice, or faith practice? All those ways. lack of faith. I kind of like at best faith and practice, but I also kind of like at best faith practice. In practice is a little bit… I guess that's my least favorite of the three ways. Anything else?

[62:32]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay. Eric? Can you talk a little bit more about Virochana Buddha, the pure dharmakaya? Talk more about Virochana Buddha? Can you just write, I mean, tell me, because I missed sort of... Okay. Virochana, yeah, literally, you could translate Virochana as cosmic light or universal light. Okay. and Vairocana Buddha. Another nice thing about, another word to bring in here is Tathagata. Vairocana Tathagata. And Tathagata is a really nice word in our tradition because, one of the reasons is because Tatha means thus. Ta-ta-ta means thusness. Ta-ta-gata means thusness gone.

[63:41]

Ta-ta-gata means thusness gone. Ta-ta-a-gata means thusness come. So ta-ta-gata, you can't tell by looking at the word whether it means thusness gone to thusness, or thusness come, come from thusness. That's a very nice word that we have in our tradition. That the epithet, one of the main epithets for the awakened one, is tathagata. It isn't just somebody who has gone to the truth. or is the truth having gone, but it's also it is someone who returns from the truth, or it's the truth coming. So there's light of going to the truth, and it's the light of the coming of the truth, or it's the light going and the light coming.

[64:48]

So there's two ways to practice, in a way, around this word. One is study all your actions. Study yourself until you forget yourself. In other words, study your actions and yourself until you see that they're light. Study them until you see the light, which they are. That's like going, that's like, Buddhists do that. They study the light, they study the karma. They see the dustness of their actions. That's tathagata. That's the light going out and illuminating things. But also, study your actions as the coming of the light. Study your walking, study what you're doing here as the coming of the light. This, what you're, you sitting here right now, awake or asleep,

[65:52]

is the coming of the light, is the coming of suchness. So Vairocana is very much meditating on how the light is—and for Vairocana Buddha, it's how the light is illuminating the truth inwardly in the Buddha and how the Buddha's body goes out to sentient beings. But the same applies to sentient beings who aren't yet Buddhas. The light is illuminating the truth in us, and our bodies are sending out a light which illuminates all beings. Meditating on that is meditation, is power. I'm Virochana Buddha. Is that enough? The pure dharmakaya, does that mean, what is the dharmakaya? It's the dharma body. This is the dharma body, the true body of Buddha.

[66:55]

Shortly before you started to talk about the life, I heard you say that we lay ever closer attention to our own intentions. This kind of vision will open up and eventually we will start our most fundamental intention. We use it if we want to. Yeah. If you look at your intention, if you give close attention to your intention, you have an intention. If you give close attention to your intentions, you will see deeper and deeper intentions in your intentions. And if you look at the world in the same way, you'll see deeper and deeper worlds. So it's interesting, this thought, this vision was followed by the talk about life. Okay. How do I see the study of our intention and deepest intention with the study of light?

[68:22]

The same study, exactly the same study. different language. I'm trying to connect. A lot of times you may hear discussions of meditation on Vajrachanabuddha without much emphasis of meditating on action. And so I'm emphasizing meditating on action and now I'm connecting it to this in some sense, transcended metaphysical meditation on Vairacchana by trying to show you that they're the same meditation. But the imagery is somewhat different. It suggests to you that if you don't study your action, you'll feel very obstructed in studying Vairacchana Buddha, probably.

[69:29]

Like you'll think it's, I don't know what, Airy Ferry or something. Or that's the 60s or whatever. Or let's take some drugs. I would like to say something else. This is not what I think. It's like Airy Ferry or 60s. Actually, this is very important to me. I don't know if I can express why, but I think it's like this. In my own experience, When I study my intention, but also sometimes when I listen to friends studying their intentions, there can be a phase when this becomes very gloomy. Gloomy? One starts maybe to have a vision of complete imperfection. Yeah, well, and again, to have a vision of perfection, did you say complete? Yeah, complete imperfection. When you have a vision of complete imperfection, and you feel gloomy, you're probably good to drop the practice for a while and go back to practicing tranquility.

[70:34]

We need to be joyfully, buoyantly, happily, relaxed and playfully studying complete... What was it again? Complete... Yeah. Studying complete imperfection or partial imperfection, studying tough topics like that, Topics that you get a grip on. Get a grip on that, Bernd. That kind of situation, you should approach it with relaxation. That topic, you know, Bernd, I'll take care of that for you. Hand it over. You go practice tranquility. If you want to practice meditating on this, come back later when you're... Some topics should not be studied when you're not in a certain state of mind. So that's a sign that you should actually drop it. and go back to tranquility, I would say, usually. I agree.

[71:34]

Yet, coming back to the practice of yoga, I would also say that in a situation like that, meditating on light actually purifies this tenseness of seeing imperfection. Fine. That's what I just told you. Get out of the gloominess about the imperfection. Meditating in light is one way to do it. Then you're not getting gloomy. I mean, you got gloomy, and you're medicating the gloominess by meditating in light. That's tranquility practice in this case. That seemed really simple to me. You don't look at the... You must be someplace... That was simple.

[72:39]

Yeah, well, take care of it. Which actually is... I just want to come to the end and stress, which is that I often feel... in tranquility. Actually, it's possible to see the... within any thoughts. Great. That's true. I agree. Maybe Miyoki's next. I'm not sure. I'm not sure if we want to get into this or not, but it started for me at Kassahara, and I'm curious the more that I study my intention about intuition. And when, and I know, I mean, I know I'm looking, I'm supposed to be looking at the boat, but I'll use the example I used at Tassajara again.

[73:44]

Um, sometimes when interacting with someone, you know, there can be this feeling that there's something behind, that there's a different intention behind what's being said. Yeah. And I guess my question is, at some point, I feel in my body very strongly. And maybe I'm going on something, but I feel really that at some point, we just know. that someone else's intention is actually harmful in some way to our vote, and we just need to kind of go the other way. Okay, could you wait for a second? I'm at a higher altitude than most of you are. It's hot up here.

[74:44]

Is it possible to open any windows or anything? Like, if you don't want it on you, Catherine, I could open it this side. Would that be better? Okay. It is? It's fine with you? Okay. So, could I speak to this now? Okay, so, we're talking about, so she's sort of saying she's not sure if what she's bringing up is looking at the boat or looking at the shore. And intuition is not the shore. Intuition is in the boat. If someone says, good morning, I hope you're well today, and you have an intuition that they actually are feeling like, I want to hurt you, and you have that intuition, then looking at it, I have this intuition that they're that way. It's different from saying, they are that way.

[75:46]

I have an intuition that they're that way. Now, the intuition that they're that way is based on the way they are. They are some way. But if you see something, and it's possible in this example, just to make it simple, that maybe if I ask that person, when you wished her well, were you really meaning that? Was that really your intention? And the person might say, no, actually I said I wish you well and I was hoping that that would make her nervous and upset. And then I might say to you, did you think the person was saying I wish you well to make you nervous and upset? And you might say, yeah, that's what I sensed. So they might agree with you. But what I'm saying is that even if they do agree with you, even if, you know, still, There is something about whether they agree with you or not of whatever you think about somebody. What you think about them is based on them. But no matter what you think, whether they agree with you or not, what you think about them is not them.

[76:55]

What their actual intention is is not your interpretation of it. Now, your interpretation of it, if you vocalized it, they might agree with your vocalization. But it's still not what they're actually feeling. And to think that what you think of someone is actually them is to be looking at the boat, not taking the boat into account. So it's subtle. We have to realize, I have a view of the shore is looking at the boat. And my view of the shore I cannot have my view of the shore without the shore. I need the shore to have a view of the shore. My view of the shore is not the shore. If you take me away, that view of the shore isn't over there on the shore. And actually, and there's a connection between the shore and my view of it. Actually, the shore is not there when you take me away either.

[77:58]

But just because we're interdependent, I think of you as what you are. Being aware of that, I'm looking at the boat. Now, being aware of that, it isn't that I then say, this person looks like they're dangerous, so that I deny that I have this story that they're dangerous. I realize I'm going to use my story that they're dangerous. This is a tentative story I have about this person, that they're dangerous, and I would respect my stories that you're dangerous. But I'm respecting what's in the boat. In the boat is a story that you're dangerous. I respect that. And honoring that, I get ready for danger. Now, if I have a story that you're not dangerous, I honor that story, and I get ready for not dangerous. But I'm getting ready, knowing that all I've got here that I'm looking at is a story of you.

[78:59]

I'm in danger because I don't have direct access consciously. I have a story. That's what it's like to be aware of the boat. I meet you, I meet you, I meet you. I'm actually looking at my story of you. I'm studying the boat. But if I have a story, or that you're being duplicitous or that you're being deceitful. If that's my story, I don't deny that story. I recognize that story. And then I say, well, I got a story that you're, I got a story that you're happy. So I'm going to ask you, are you feeling good? Are you having a good time? And you say, yeah, you know, say various things. But I check on my stories. But first I check the boat. Then I ask the shore, how you doing? Shore. And if I... Huh? What? I said, who are you calling sure? What do you mean? Oh.

[80:02]

Sorry, it was too quick. It was too quick. But anyway, can I call you sure? If you ask me like that, yes, you can. May I call you sure? Every now and then? How about, how's the Anja sure? Okay so far. How's the Jisha? How's the Jisha? You find out various things when you check the shore. But the main thing is that we will do better checking on the shore when we realize, okay, I got a story here. So, okay, now I got the story. You're depressed. Okay, given that, now, who knows what you are? My story is based on you, but you are not my story. So now I'm going to start wondering, what are you? How are you feeling? How are you feeling? How is the practice going? But if my story is based on you, then I maybe stand a little further when I ask. You know?

[81:04]

And that's okay. And I realize it's not because you're really such and such, but I'm respecting my story. My story is not totally cut off from what you are. There's some reason about why I come up with this story with you. So I don't devalue that story. only thing that there's no connection to is that you're a separate self. I had that story too, that you're separate from me. That story, there's no basis of that story at all. There's conditions for that story, but no basis for it. Conditions for it are what? Right. The conditions for it are ignorance. The conditions for it are not studying These stories, that gives rise to the story we have that someone's separate from us. That story is not based on anything. But the story that somebody's friendly, that somebody likes you, don't like you, that someone's good or bad, all those stories have a basis.

[82:04]

But just because they have a basis doesn't mean that they're true. They're a way for us to cope with our relationship with the world. And they're a door will open to the realization that the person or whatever is totally empty of our story. And when we see that, we will open up to the amazing thing that the person is and how they're amazingly giving us life and we're giving them life. So the vision of, the Buddha's vision of interdependence opens when we find out that our mental constructions are absent in everything. But we first of all have to honor our mental constructions, be calm and relaxed with them, and if we can be calm and relaxed, look at them and continue to be calm and relaxed, then we can study them more and more deeply. And when we start to get gloomy or tense, we need to take care of our state of consciousness.

[83:12]

And when we feel good again, and buoyant and relaxed and bright, then we can go back into... Is it getting this clear? Yes? Yuki? Even though sometimes I realize this is my story, but in that moment, even I realize that, but I cannot say the words such as I'm sorry. What's the leap from that? I recognize that this is my story about negative story towards that person, but still I cannot jump to say something. Thank you. I'm sorry. How do you do that? The jump? Actually, maybe first, before you take a jump, maybe just a step. And the step is confession and repentance. That's the step. So I'm feeling I have a negative story which I'm holding on to at least a little, and so then I take a little step and I admit, I confess, I have a negative story.

[84:21]

That's a little step. If I confess and repent my negative stories about people and my belief in them and the tension I feel because I believe in them, if I confess those, it melts that away. So then, the more that happens, the more stories you will be able to leap. In other words, I have a negative story about you, but it doesn't cause any hindrance at all. But still, I have one. Yeah, you could have one. Like, there's some people, like, sometimes maybe you have a negative story about someone, but you don't hold it at all. It's really like... You know, like if someone might say to you, do you have a negative story about me? And you might say, yes, I do. And you say, would you give your life for me? And you say, no problem. I'd be happy to. Like my grandson, I'll use as an example. I often have negative stories. You know?

[85:22]

But if he would say, granddaddy, give me your life, I might say, here it is. I can leap with him because I don't hold on to my stories about him very much. even the negative ones. You can construct, and sometimes it helps people. A Buddha might help someone by constructing a negative story about them, but to help them, and not to hold on to the story after creating it. And then there's no hindrance of compassion. But if we hold the stories, then we get... ...happy and stuck. And then it's hard to, like, be generous and relaxed and so on. So in that case, we practice confession and repentance. Not only do I have a negative story about this person, but I'm holding it. That's the real problem, is to hold it. And I feel... And then that's... First of all, I'm holding it.

[86:24]

Next is, I feel affliction. So that's the repentance part. I feel pain. at holding it. And we do this not by ourselves, but with the Buddhas. Because it isn't power that I'm going to confess and repent and revolutionize myself. I'm going to do it together with everyone. So that's a step and a step and a step of noticing, confessing, repenting, and then again noticing, confessing, and repenting these stories. until we get to the place where we actually start making up positive or negative stories of people. You use the example of a negative story, okay? Sometimes you can have a positive story of someone and also not be able to say thank you. Do you understand that? You're paralyzed by holding on to your positive story. This great person is here and then they give you a gift and you can't say anything because the great person has given you this wonderful gift and you're totally stuck in your story of this great person.

[87:34]

You're equally stuck as in the story of negative person. In both cases, you have your deep intention to be compassionate because of holding to the story of great person or not great person. The more we meditate on this, the more we put the stories on and then say, that's my story, you know, negative story, negative intuition or thinking about this person. And like, I'm over that. That's gone. I'm not that way anymore. And in fact, you're not. If you don't pay attention, you think you're still the same person you were a few moments ago when you didn't like it. If you look carefully, you see I've already moved beyond that. Did you have a negative view of me a few minutes ago? Yep. How about now? Nope, it's gone. And I didn't believe it when it happened. I tell this story about one time I was talking to someone at Tassajara.

[88:36]

This is about 20 years ago. I was talking to this person. I was saying, I do not believe what I think of you. I do not believe what I think of you. I do not believe what I think of you. Because I was thinking something about her and I was... I was on the verge of believing it. So I had to actively tell myself I didn't believe it. I had to pray not to believe. In a sense, I had to pray not to believe my prayer. So we pray, but you shouldn't believe your prayers. Don't believe your prayers. Because then you're getting sunk in your prayer and you'll get depressed. You get some depressed. This is another point that Marilyn Robinson points. She didn't say it that way, but she proposes that maybe depression is the inability to sustain the narrative. What?

[89:38]

Inability to sustain the narrative means inability to move on to the next story. So you've got a story like this person's this way, this person's this way. You can get depressed thinking somebody's a nice person over and over and over. Nice person, nice person, nice person, nice person. That's a stuck narrative. You get depressed if you keep thinking nice person, nice person, nice person. Get depressed. Make sense? Maintaining the narrative means You know, Jisha, Anja, assistant, the walrus, you know. Let's move on here. In fact, you are moving on. Get with the program. You are a moving, you are a constantly moving creator of new stories. Get with it. If you get stuck, you get depressed. Does that make some sense?

[90:43]

Yeah, okay. I don't know who is next, but maybe, did you have a hand up, John? Yes, it's gone. It's gone? Okay, well, Monica, Shoho, Sala. Okay, that's it. Should I answer those questions or should we stop class? Well, I wanted to say something, and that is I'm a little concerned for the servers getting a break. I realize the servers don't get their break. So... You're a server? Okay. So we should be concerned for them getting their break. Servers, if any servers want to take a break, take a break. Want to take a break? Okay, yes? I was thinking about what you said about the light, and I wanted to ask if there is any relation between the light and basic goodness?

[91:55]

Is there a relationship between the light and basic goodness? Yeah, there is. Like again, look at a dance between people. The actual dance, that's light, right? We love dance. We love that thing that happens when people are dancing, that thing, that dance. It's ungraspable. In its origin, it's ungraspable, it's radiant, it's joy, it's goodness. In that dance, nobody gets hurt. Nobody can harm anybody. Nobody can gain anything or lose anything. That's goodness. That's happiness. That's reality. And it's radiant. It's brilliant. And it's there all the time. But we can get distracted. So basic goodness, illumination, wisdom, compassion, they're all kind of like the same dance.

[92:58]

They're the same. They're cognition. That's what cognition is. It's clear, light, and it's joy. And there's no way for anything to get... attached to, so nobody gains or loses or owns, no harm, yeah. I see your hand, Lisa, but Choho, I think, is next. Sorry, James. I'm speaking. I do feel right. I do feel right. And I just want to give it to you. You feel right. Right. Two things.

[94:03]

One, there are three copies of the Robinson article on the table in the library. Please leave them there unless you're going to take it to copy it. That's one. Two is, and you brought one, so. What does it mean, you know, I confess it with everyone, but whenever we say that, I mean, we say it, but what do you mean, I don't know what that means. What? You just said this is the problem, you know, for holding on to it. Anyway, I confess in holding on, and I confess and repent. And then you said with everyone. I confess and repent. What does with everyone mean? I don't know what that means. Oh, well, one way is that you, like, for example, you might go confess to one person. Right. And you might... that one person, you might also feel you're confessing to this person sort of in the ritual of confessing to the Buddha.

[95:08]

So you might feel that the Buddhas are there with this person, like quite a few Buddhas. So there's something in this tradition saying that the Buddhas do this practice, have done this practice, and recommend it. And they're there to support it and receive it. So when you... You can also not have a person there. Just do it with no Buddhist statues or anything. Just feel like, okay, guys, come on here. I got a little... Here it comes. Okay, here it is. And as soon as you do that, as soon as I do that, I feel really different. Here they are. This is their job. They're listening to me. I've been listening to them, and by listening to them, I understand that they want me to tell them about this. So I'm telling them, they're here. And having somebody in front of me, like a coach, like, you know, finish the sentence, go on, keep going. A person, kind of like representing the tradition, so they go and teach, so-called teacher, okay? Teacher's not the Buddha. Buddha's not the teacher, but they're not separate either, so then you do that.

[96:11]

Also you can do it in a group. You can say it to these people, but it's not just these people. By confessing to these people, you confess to other people. So you warm up with these people, where you feel, I feel ready to confess to these people. And the more you confess, I would say, and feel good about it, and feel like that was helpful, and other people say, oftentimes people That was a good confession. Thank you. The more you get, so you feel eventually like you can do it any place, any time. But if you confess and don't have a good time, then you feel, I'm not going to do that anymore. But then you should confess, I got the story. I'm not going to do that anymore. Somebody really wasn't very nice to me and so now I'm not going to do it anymore. And I feel bad about not practicing confession now because I said I would. And now I'm over that. That's not my story anymore.

[97:13]

As a matter of fact, I just did it again, didn't I? And Lisa? Yes? You find the most contraction when you're attached to something? Yes. What I'd like to ask about is this study of light. I'm using my question as you got closer.

[98:16]

That's the light. When you lost the question, when I came closer, that's the light. Ungraspable, but radiant. and it's yours, and it's mine, and it's ours. Nobody owns it, but everybody's got it. And you watched, and you saw that. You were paying attention to your question. That helped you see it. And then your activity changed in relationship. I have a portable, you know, recording setup here, so I can move around the room. Can't I? Yes, you can. Yes?

[99:27]

Can you just speak of what, where is the... I've just been learning about morals. It seems like I'm just waking up to morals. Yes? Yes? And so a lot of the contraction is when I go towards, when I do an action or a thought that is... Excuse me, excuse me. She said opposite to morals, and I understand that people talk that way, but all actions are moral. It's just that some actions are moral in a way that's called bad, and some actions are moral in a way that's called good. Morality isn't just good, it's the process, it's the aspect of our life that has to do with harm and benefit. So action is moral.

[100:30]

The type of action which is moral is the type we're focusing on here. And cognitive activity is moral. It either is good or it is neutral. It either benefits or it doesn't. And it doesn't either by being neutral or being harmful. So meditating on your action is meditating on the moral process of our life. It's the moral dimension. Our life isn't totally moral in a sense. Some of it is somewhat neutral. Intention is morally alive. So when you pay attention to your intention, you're looking at the moral core of your existence. And then there's morals, like rules, that have been created. I would say the positive way of doing it is to help people look inward at their action, to help them see their action, to see the moral quality of their action. But our action always has a moral quality.

[101:33]

It does. I mean, our action that's cognitive always has a moral quality. When you see yourself in relationship to the world, that has a moral quality, no matter what the picture is. And we do all day long. We see ourselves in relationship to each other, and that has a moral quality. Sometimes it's very beneficial the way we see ourselves. Sometimes we see ourselves as I can be totally of service and I love this person and I'm not afraid of them. We see each other that way sometimes. This is called a very beneficial moral vision. Sometimes we see, I don't know if that person is my friend or not. I feel hindered about being generous and so on. That's another moral situation. Meditation is meditating on our moral core. And also it's the evolutionary core. This is a place where we develop positively or degenerate.

[102:34]

This is the place. Okay? I was thinking that the question... I'm close, but they're far. I'm thinking that the question... Can you hear her? Great. Great. It may have some aspects to it that may be a little bit embarrassing to me. Okay. Anyway, you don't have to. Okay, I'll try. Do you want to? No. Don't then. I don't, but I think more don't than to. Well, it did take a little time then. Yeah. Okay, should I move on? Yes. Okay. Thank you. Write it down. Well, oh yes.

[103:42]

Does the, I'm curious why I'm having a thought of separation. Why, does that seem to bring up, is there a tendency that that brings up fear simply because that's not the way things are? Like I'm curious why fear arises in response. Okay, so I'll tell you a story about that, okay? So this is a story about how that works. The story or the image, the vision that we're separate, substantially separate, and then that itself does not necessarily become a condition for fear. But to believe it as a reality rather than just an idea, that is definitely contradictory to reality. Plus also, coming along with that is, since we're substantially separate, you're not helping me.

[104:55]

You're not supporting me. Not officially my assistant and supporter. You know, like your job is, you know, you come and say, can I have this job of being your assistant and supporter, you know? Uh, And will you pay me a lot of money every month to do that? And I say, yes. You take the job. And that's your job, is to support me. She's separate from me. She doesn't really help me. She's cut off from me. On that deep level, I don't really think you're helping me. And also, she doesn't like me. She's helping me, but she doesn't like me. And her not liking me is over there, cut off from me, to support me. Plus, I don't support her. I give her money to help me, but I don't really support her. And so on. This way of seeing our relationship is not very much fun. Plus, it insults this magnificent relationship we have.

[105:57]

So it's not fun in itself, not helping each other in a deep way, rather than maybe a superficial way. I pay you, you pay me. But denying the deep inconceivable mutual assistance between us is not fun, is not happy, is not happiness. It's not happiness. But more than that, we long for that, we desire to realize that, and we're afraid of this superficial situation breaking up and getting really bad. So that's the story about it. And I could tell other stories. Does that give you some feeling for how that might be? Yeah, I guess I have a story that's a bit of a silly question. I'm not sure exactly what I'm trying to get at, but I have some curiosity as to... you know, that the light, that that's equated with joy and happiness and sort of all these things that I think of as good things, and I'm curious why we're imagining that the way things are are just located on this side of all the good things.

[107:15]

What about... What about... the darkness and the so-called bad things. Are they the character of the way things are? No, they're not. But it's not that we deny that they appear. It isn't that we deny that pain appears and pain appears. So we're not denying any of that tough stuff. And we're not saying pain is not light. Pain is light too. Pain is brilliant too. Fear is . It's just that all negative things are also light. I see it in terms of light but not in terms of joy. When you see the light, if you see a good thing, if you see a good thing and you don't see the light, you can very easily be quite unhappy.

[108:18]

Because you can feel good. Many people have strong emotional afflictions in relationship to something they see as good. They're greedy for it. They're afraid of losing it because they don't understand it. So they do think it's good. They do think it's beautiful or wonderful. And they feel really heavily stressed because of the way they understand it. But if you see harm and things like that, and you see the light, you feel happiness from seeing the light in the harmful, negative, evil situation. You see the light there. It isn't that you're happy that people are being harmful. You're happy because you see the light. And because you see the light, you can love people who are being harmful and help them. And also, if people appear to be good, you can help those people too. because you see that it's an illusion that you're separate from these people and that they're separate from you.

[109:28]

You see how you're helping them and how they're helping you. That's the light. That's the dance. The dance is how you're giving me life and I'm giving you life. The dance is how the world's giving me life. That's the dance. That's the light. When you see that, you see that in everything, in all manifestations. And people who don't see this sometimes get very depressed, very paranoid, very stressed, very violent and afraid, or I should say, they get that way. When we're cut off from this, we become violent. Or at least we're at risk of it all the time because we're afraid. Does that make sense? It makes sense. I guess I have some kind of... I guess I'm... It makes sense to me logically and there's some way that I have some, I guess that I don't know if I believe or want to believe that the end result of seeing light is necessarily that we're happy.

[110:38]

Anyway, I hear what you said, and let me see if I... I heard you say something, that you have some resistance to the presentation, that to see this light, this spiritual light, that you would be happy when you saw it. So I understand that you have that resistance. And I'm saying to you... that when you see the light, when people see the light, they become happy. Do we know this just from Scripture? I know it from personal experience. I've seen the light, I'm happy. When I see the light, I'm not afraid. When I see the light, I'm not stingy. When I don't see the light, I'm afraid, stingy, and etc. And also the Scriptures say this too. And when I see other people see the light, I see them incredibly gifted. They receive the gift of the light, they see it, and they're able to be generous and fearless with other people. I see this. So I read about it, I see it, I experience it, and I also understand that you have some kind of dynamic with it.

[111:56]

Because I think when I hear that story, then it's easy for me to just go, oh, it's going to be happy and separate from the other stuff that's Yes, but it's easy for you to do that without hearing the story, too. Because that's a normal human habit, is to feel separate. So you're just applying your usual separation technique to this, which is reasonable. We do it to everything. But I am saying that seeing this light, in other words, seeing your relationship, seeing how you're dancing with everybody, you're happy. And the way we're dancing has a radiance to it. And it's very tentative, very fleeting. Another burst of spark of life happens again, and it's mutual, and there's no cutting off there. And seeing that and experiencing that is happiness. Not seeing how we're helping each other.

[112:58]

I don't know anybody who... who doesn't feel like they're helping people and doesn't feel like people are helping them. I don't know people that are happy that don't feel that way. And people who do feel that way are happy. And Buddhists feel that way, and they're supposed to be happy, and they recommend learning how to see that. But they don't just say, well, just think about that all the time, although they sometimes do. They say, also meditate on how you don't believe that. Meditate on how you don't see that you're helping people. Meditate on how the vision you have is how we're not at the birthday party loving each other, but we're at the birthday party in a competitive sibling rivalry. That's the vision I have right now. But that's not what she saw, and that wasn't her wish. Her wish is that we would be dear sisters right now, and that's what I see right now. We know quite well how to not feel like we're dear sisters. We know that quite well. Most people know how to be competitive.

[113:59]

Little kids... And then we get confused and actually kind of distracted from noticing that we're doing that because we're told it's bad. So then we get out of touch with our karma. And then it causes more obstruction because we're not aware. So that's why I feel good about my daughter because she continued to be in touch with her evil throughout her time with us. She was not forced to be a girl without evil. So she could actually tell you about her evil as she was growing up. She could see it and she could say, I'm doing this bad thing and that bad thing. She still can see it somewhat. It's good. It's good to be able to see our evil and our good. This is relative evil and relative good, but to be able to see it is good. Seeing this kind of thing opens our eyes to an inconceivable good, which is the way we actually are relating.

[115:02]

And so I welcome you to express your resistance because that will be, I think, help you get in touch with your resistance and see that there's light even in your resistance to whatever things in the kitchen pantry, in the front gate, in everything. Because everything arises in this inconceivably wonderful way. So things have seemed to have calmed down. Might there still be pain in happiness? You see the light and there's happiness, but there might still be pain with the happiness? Did you hear what he said? Yes. The answer is yes. I just thought that might help Lauren out a little bit. It's not like it's pain-free happiness. No. No, it's not sugar. It's like brown rice happiness. In this mind, in this light, in the light there is a compassion.

[116:22]

And that compassion has pain in it. And it's the pain that you feel for everyone that does not yet Understand. But you love these people in this light. And you're very happy to love them, but you're very happy that you also feel pain. You don't feel their pain exactly. You feel pain because they're in pain. There is pain in the Buddha's heart. And right with that pain is patience. Big time patience. Buddha patience with that pain. Pain is the greatest happiness. The happiness that comes from a happiness that is brought to perfection by feeling pain for everyone who does not yet feel this happiness. And who does not feel the pain for all beings and the happiness of that. So there is pain there. Yeah. Because everybody's included. So it isn't like, okay, get rid of all these unhappy people in this light area.

[117:29]

No. and to get rid of these unhappy people because it would be painful to see them. No. They're all included and it hurts the pain and that hurt is the source of the greatest happiness. And to open to that great mind we have to work with our karmic hindrances which seem to cloud it or block it. And the way of opening to it is through becoming very close to our, intimate with all our actions. Is that enough for today? May our attention equally extend to every being and place.

[118:28]

@Transcribed_v005
@Text_v005
@Score_85.2