here at this temple, we're having an intensive period of meditation and teaching and study. Could you hear me in the back? How about now? Does that make a difference? Not yet? How about now? Now? [...] Can you hear me in the back now? Nope. We're intensively practicing patience.

[01:19]

How is the signal? Okay? All right. So we're in the kind of, in the midst of a three-week period of intensification of our meditation and teaching practices. I noticed a notice about this intensive, and the notice said that the intensive was about the authentic practice, the Buddha way. The Buddha way is described as the way, the path, the practice of studying, thoroughly encountering, and enlightening delusion.

[02:43]

our own delusion. Delusions which are the cause of suffering. Another way to put it is that the Buddha way is to study and thoroughly enlighten the afflictions, the suffering which arises from delusion. I imagine that Buddhas, that there are such things, such beings, And I imagine that these Buddhas are very good at benefiting beings, are very good at benefiting many beings.

[03:52]

I imagine that there's such a possibility. And those beings who are very good at helping suffering beings are very good at studying their own delusion and have enlightened it completely. by that study. Not by their power, but by the power of studying fiction. So last week I said something, I used a phrase, being authentically deluded. And there's a teaching that all living beings only have, all they've got to work with, really, is karmic consciousness.

[05:01]

They often wish they had something else to work with, and they often think that they have something other than delusion to work with. In other words, sentient beings often think that they're not deluded. Buddhas may think they're not deluded too, but they don't believe that. They study the thought, I'm not deluded. So I proposed in today that the path to the actuality of being able to benefit many beings is the path of authentically actualizing delusion. In actualizing delusion, we realize ultimate truth. Another expression which I used since last week is that ultimate truth is not nothing.

[06:19]

We call the ultimate truth in the great vehicle of the Buddha way, we call the ultimate truth sometimes emptiness, or voidness, or insubstantiality, or selflessness. So the ultimate truth is disciplined form. It's not nothing. Selflessness, emptiness is not nothing. It is disciplined form. For example, one form, for example, is delusion. Another is the affliction that arises from delusion. Ultimate truth is when our afflictions have been thoroughly disciplined. When our delusions are thoroughly disciplined, we realize that they are ultimate truth.

[07:22]

You could say we realize that they are ultimate truth, or we could say that we realize the ultimate truth of our delusions. We realize the ultimate truth of our suffering. And realizing the ultimate truth of our delusions of suffering and realizing the ultimate truth of suffering, we realize freedom from delusion and suffering. We are deluded. I am deluded anyway. Don't thoroughly engage my delusion if I don't fully encounter it and actualize it I'm just deluded. I'm kind of half-heartedly deluded. Most people are half-heartedly deluded to me. The Buddhas are wholeheartedly deluded.

[08:28]

And thereby, by this discipline of wholeheartedly being a sentient being, we can become So I propose the path, the authentic path of Buddhahood is the path of studying and actualizing delusion and thereby benefiting all beings. Studying delusion, not encountering our delusions and our afflictions, is the general path of living beings. Living beings are deluded and suffering, but they don't discipline their delusion and suffering.

[09:39]

And this is not benefiting all beings. You could benefit a few beings. It's possible. It's not that if you don't encounter, if I don't encounter my delusion and actualize it, it's not that I can't benefit. Because it is of some benefit to demonstrate to people what a mistake it is not to study delusion. So if a deluded being like me does not study my delusion, other people can see, oh, poor guy. He's deluded, but he's not aware of it. And look what he got into. How sad. Maybe I should study my delusion, even though I can hardly find any. His are obvious. Mine are very subtle. But maybe I have some.

[10:44]

So we can be somewhat helpful by walking the path of not encountering delusions. tonight, well, today and tonight, there's eight people in this intensive community who will receive some instruction, some teachings, some practices for how to encounter their delusion and affliction, to assist them in their wish to benefit all beings. The ceremony is to initiate them into the path to Buddhahood, the path of what we call bodhisattva.

[11:56]

A bodhisattva is a bodhi, means a bodhisattva being. It's a being who is on the path of enlightenment. And we have a formal ceremony for entering the path and receiving teachings to practice. these beings wish to enter this path in order to do something really good. In other words, to live for the welfare of all beings. They wish to do that. They wish to declare that intention and receive teachings to practice on this path. someone said to me, I'm retired now.

[13:07]

I'm retired from my work and so for the rest of my life I want to do something really big, something really good. But, you know, like I want to really be beneficial to many beings. But I have a problem because I don't like people. Not liking people is a problem, but also liking people is a problem. Nobody has said that to me. I wish to live for the welfare of many people. For many people, I want to devote my life to the benefit of many people, but I have a problem. I like people. I haven't heard that one yet, but I would say, yeah, that is a problem. And now I would say, if you don't like people and you want to benefit many people, then the Buddha way is to encounter your dislike with great compassion.

[14:29]

To actualize your dislike authentically. Discipline to train your dislike or to train with your dislike, to use your dislike as a sharpening stone for your compassion. You can dislike everybody and become a Buddha. if you practice compassion toward your dislike. And if you like everybody — there are people like that, I suppose — if you discipline your affection for people, if you actualize it thoroughly, discipline it thoroughly, it will become ultimate truth.

[15:35]

But if you don't encounter and discipline your likes then you just have affliction, like most people. Then your likes and dislikes will not be the doors to ultimate truth. And you will not be realizing many are all beings. it seems quite reasonable that if you don't like somebody, not to mention if you don't like anybody, you wouldn't particularly want to look at that all day. And if you do like people, you might not want to look at that either. You just want to go hang out with these people you like. Wouldn't that be nice if you liked everybody? Then everybody would be like, you know, you'd like that. But you might be overlooking something called the Buddha way. You might be overlooking your affection.

[16:41]

Not disciplining like punishing, discipline like training your affection so that it's completely actualized so that it's ultimate truth. But that means study yourself. But, of course, most people don't like everybody all the time. So most people like a lot of people all the time, but they dislike a lot of things about themselves and dislike a lot of things about people, about the world situation. So most people have a variety of afflictions and a variety of delusions And the Buddha way is to thoroughly meet and actualize them all. If you wish to enter the path of the benefit of all beings and you have no conflicting intentions,

[17:51]

That's possible in a given moment, but if you don't find any conflicting intentions, you're probably not looking very carefully at yourself. For example, if you wish to benefit all beings and you don't want to be petty, that wish to not be petty and small, if you don't take care of it, will trip you up. So I might say, don't be afraid of being small, but I would take that back. I won't tell you what not to do. I would say, if smallness comes, totally be small. Totally actualize being small.

[18:55]

I'm not telling you to be small. I'm not telling you to be bad. But if bad comes, I'm saying totally encounter it and actualize it. Don't be half-heartedly bad when you're bad because actually you're not half-heartedly bad when you're bad. You're always 100% what you are. But when what we are seems to be just like 10% bad, we're afraid that if we're bad and we would be authentically bad, that we would be worse than we are now. But we can't be worse than we are now. Now. But we can be half-hearted about how we are now. Now. That's easy for us. It's not easy for us, it's actually painful for us, but we know how to do it and we're used to it.

[20:04]

There's some writings which are attributed to a French person named Montaigne, Michel de Montaigne. And he reflected upon the life of his father. And his father was totally devoted to the welfare of others. And completely, he said, forgot about himself. And You know, he was such a good and dear person, but he was also miserable and didn't really help anybody much, even though he really wanted to. Montaigne says that most of the precepts of the world take the course of pushing us out of ourselves and driving us into the marketplace.

[21:14]

for the benefit of public society. These precepts, these teachings to drive us away from ourselves into the marketplace to benefit society are thought to achieve a fine result by detracting us from ourselves. Assuming, and I add this correctly, that we are attached to ourselves only too much and by a natural bond. That we are attached to ourselves too much by a natural bond. So then people say you should forget about yourself and go into the marketplace. But if you forget about yourself and then go into the marketplace, you just take your attachment to yourself with you, unexamined, unencountered, or partly examined and partly encountered, and you go into the marketplace and promote, well, I don't know.

[22:31]

Again, it might be somewhat helpful to show people what a mistake your life is. If our ordinary consciousness, our ordinary consciousness is unclear, vague, vast, giddy. And giddy means excited or excitable. to the point of distraction and disorientation. We're used to this, actually. We're living in a disorienting, distracting, unclear state of mind. And we're used to it. Teachings about this mind, teaching a disoriented, distracted mind,

[23:39]

and thereby reorienting itself to look at itself is experienced often as disorienting. Reorienting the deluded to look at the deluded may be experienced as disorienting, discouraging. And at that point we need further encouragement, which could be in the form of that discouragement is to encounter thoroughly, actualize, and enlighten. It's not that we can't have delusion.

[24:48]

We can have delusions. We do have delusions. That part's taken care of. What we also can have, however, is compassion for these delusions. We can have great compassion for all of our delusions. Buddhists have great compassion for all delusions, and therefore Buddhists have great enlightenment about all delusions. We have another expression is, the Buddha way is to study yourself.

[25:53]

And to study yourself, it isn't... One way to say it is the Buddha way is to study yourself and the Buddha way is to forget yourself. But don't try to forget yourself. I wouldn't say don't try to forget yourself. Study yourself, and when you study yourself thoroughly, you will forget yourself. Don't try to forget yourself, because when you study yourself, you will find out that you can't find yourself, which again, if you think about it, could be disorienting. So if someone might say to you, forget about yourself and go help all beings, The last part sounds good. Go help all beings. But I'm suggesting now that on behalf of the people in the lineage who suggested this to me, I'm suggesting if you wish to help other people, remember yourself.

[26:58]

Be mindful of yourself. All the time. if possible. Train yourself to be able to do it all the time. Remember your posture and your breathing. Remember your thinking. Remember to be yourself. And you will become free of yourself. Without tampering with yourself at all, you will become free of yourself. And this freedom of yourself will benefit all beings. The freed self will benefit all beings. The freed self is the self that's thoroughly encountered and disciplined. And again, this thorough encountering and discipline, for those who aren't used to it, is reorienting to the point of feeling unusual.

[28:06]

nauseating, dizzying, spinning us around. We're literally spinning around and looking in the opposite direction. This room is often fully occupied with people sitting still and quiet.

[29:15]

And some people think that when they're in this room sitting still and quiet, they should not be thinking. They think they should not be thinking. They frequently think that they should not be thinking. They think they should not be thinking before they come in and then they come in here and think that they should not be thinking. And when they notice that they're thinking that they should not be thinking, they might feel kind of bad because they think they're doing what they shouldn't be doing. I'm not telling anybody really that they should be thinking. I'm not telling people that they should be thinking. But I am suggesting that almost everybody I've ever met is thinking. There are special

[30:19]

where the thinking is almost turned off. There are such states of mind. That also happens when you have an operation and they give you general anesthetic. They kind of turn off your thinking so that when you're in the operation, you're not even dreaming. They say, count backwards, you know, ten, nine, and then you're in the recovery room. So in that state of general anesthetic, we actually are not thinking. Or in the dream, there's no thinking. And in some yogic states, there's no thinking. Some people think that that's Zen practice or Zen meditation, but I don't agree. Well, maybe it could be a kind of Zen meditation, but the Zen meditation of the Buddha is that there be thinking.

[31:22]

So even in the meditation hall, I'm saying thinking is allowed. Now we don't let people run around and make a lot of noise, except during special parties. But in fact, whether we allow it or not, people do come in here and think. Right now there's quite a few people in the room here thinking. And it's allowed. You're allowed to be thinking now. And I think you can. But again, some people come to me and say, well, can I actually think in the zendo during meditation time? And I say, yes, you can, but also, yes, you do. Like if you're sitting there and you're sitting upright and you have your eyes looking down at the floor and you're following your breathing, you're thinking.

[32:26]

If you think you're in the meditation hall, you're thinking. If you think you're outside of the meditation hall, you're thinking. It's a strange kind of unusual thought, but right now, try it. Just say, I'm outside the meditation hall. Just think that. Most of you didn't believe it, but did you try it? Go ahead, try it. Or say it to yourself. Could you think that? You didn't believe it, but you thought. Now think you're in the meditation hall. Now did you believe that? If you study either one of those thoroughly, you will enlighten both, either one of them. So we come in this hall and we think. And so what I'm bringing up now is come in the hall and think.

[33:32]

I'm not saying come in the hall and think. I'm saying come in the hall and notice that you had to think to get in. You have to think to get yourself to your seat. You have to think to assume your meditation posture. And then you continue thinking when you're sitting in meditation. And if you're in your own home or some other meditation home, I'm saying you're probably thinking. But are you thinking authentically? Are you thinking wholeheartedly? What if you're daydreaming? Are you daydreaming authentically? Are you fully encountering your daydreaming? Are you completely there with your daydreaming? I'm not saying it's not daydreaming. I'm saying if you think it's daydreaming, fine. Then you're daydreaming. If you dream that you're not daydreaming, then you're dreaming that you're not daydreaming. If you're dreaming that you're authentically practicing the Buddha way, then you're dreaming that you're authentically practicing the Buddha way.

[34:35]

If you think you're poorly, if you think you're a bad Zen student, some Zen students do think they're bad Zen students. Some Zen students think they're slightly above average Zen students. Some Zen students think they're way above the people sitting around them Zen students think a wide variety of things. But they're rarely wholehearted about their thinking. They're rarely thoroughly engaged in their thinking. Even though they've been encouraged for centuries to be thoroughly engaged in what they're doing, a lot of them think, I shouldn't be thinking here, I should stop my thinking. So, I'm trying to encourage everybody to engage whatever your current mind is doing.

[35:45]

Whatever your current deluded mind is, be that completely. And I'm saying that that will realize enlightenment. In order to thoroughly be what you are right now, you must be very still. You must be very silent. And if what you are right now is a screaming, they say, Mimi, screaming Mimi, is that what you say? If you're having a hysterical fit, it's hard to be silent at that time, but possible. It's hard to be still when you're feeling really hysterical, but possible. And if you can be silent with your hysteria and thoroughly, wholeheartedly be hysterical, that's exactly Buddha and not the slightest bit different from Buddha.

[36:51]

Buddha does not, like, shrink the hysteria down a tiny bit or a lot or entirely. Buddha is the full actualization of hysteria when there's hysteria. So we don't say, yeah, come into the meditation hall and be hysterical. We don't say that. But people come into the meditation hall and get hysterical. Not on purpose. It's something that they've given to them. And it's given to them by the causes and conditions of their life. as an opportunity to realize Buddhahood. Everything that's given to us, each moment is given to us to see if we can discipline it totally. And the only way to discipline it totally is to be totally compassionate.

[38:00]

Liking it? No. Disliking it? No. Welcoming it completely? Yes. Being non-violent with it? Yes. Being gentle with it? Yes. Being supremely attuned to it? Yes. Being aware of any estrangement from it? Yes. Being calm and quiet with it? Yes. Being completely, deeply, boundlessly compassionate with it is necessary in order to be completely what we are. And this realizes in whatever we are and whatever we are being a door to enlightenment.

[39:07]

This is a room where people can come in and be whatever they are and where at least they know theoretically what else to do in this room but be themselves. They don't have to rearrange the chairs once they get in their seat. They don't have to answer the telephone. They don't have to be happy. They don't have to be sad. They don't have to like. They don't have to dislike. But if any of... They understand that it's their job to be that way wholeheartedly. Even though I say that, it's still hard to do it because it's total reversal of what we've been taught. We've been taught, be a good boy. Don't think. Do think. Think this way. Think that way. We haven't been taught, study whatever's going on completely. And here's a room for it.

[40:12]

Just go in there and study what is happening completely each moment. And not for yourself, but for the enlightenment of all beings. Take care of yourself for the enlightenment of all beings. Take care of yourself for the enlightenment of all beings. Take care of yourself for the enlightenment of all beings. And find some place where you can feel supported to take care of yourself completely. whatever you are, however you are. I notice in myself that I think this is like supremely wonderful that we could live that way. that the way we must be is ourselves, and accepting that completely is enlightenment and benefit.

[41:20]

We must be ourselves. If we accept that completely, that benefits all being. And many beings have not heard this, and when they hear it, it's very hard to remember it. I've said the same thing over enough times, so you've kind of got it now. And you've got it, and you're going to forget it. And so am I. If I kept going like this long enough, we would all be enlightened. So it's kind of hard to know. I mean, why should I stop? Because I'm just remembering for myself and you what I think is the path of benefiting all beings. The path of... But maybe I should stop because maybe you can do it better if I'm quiet.

[42:30]

Maybe you can turn around and study yourself better if I shut up. Forever, can't we? So I'm very happy if I get to live a little longer to discipline my delusion and realize ultimate truth by disciplining, actualizing my delusion. And I'm very happy that you have the opportunity Last week, I'm sorry I didn't sing. Last week, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

[43:33]

No, I'm not. No, I'm not sorry. But this week, I won't deprive you of a song. And I had some good songs to sing, but I forgot them. One that I remember, which I thought, oh yeah, this is, as of yore, it's appropriate, this song. I could take a little sip of water beforehand to improve my singing.

[44:38]

There may be trouble ahead. There may be Illusion ahead So while there's music and moonlight And love and romance Let's face the music and dance Before the fiddlers have fled before they ask us to pay the bill. And while there's still a chance, let's face it and dance. Soon we'll be without the moon Humming a different tune And then There may be teardrops to shed So while there's music and moonlight And love and romance

[46:15]

Let's face the music. Let's thoroughly face the music. Let's discipline the music. And dance. I can't take their pain away. Can I say something? I don't think the Buddha recommends taking on other people's suffering. He recommends welcoming other people's suffering. welcoming the pain of other people's suffering, welcoming it. The Buddha cannot take away other people's suffering, but the Buddha can show suffering beings how to welcome their suffering.

[47:18]

And if they observe the Buddha's welcoming and they learn it themselves, they will be free of their suffering. The Buddha cannot go in and fix it. The Buddha shows the person how not to fix it, but how to be free of it. you can learn how to be free of it. You can't fix things because fixing things is a little bit uncompassionate, it's a little bit disrespectful. But welcoming them includes that you don't even know really what their suffering is. You only have your own taste of their suffering, which you can welcome. their suffering. And they also don't know what their suffering is. They only have a small taste of their suffering, but they can learn to do the same. So this is what we can learn and teach. And this will liberate beings from suffering, but it won't fix anything. It will realize everything.

[48:25]

I experience what you're saying and I feel as though I crossed the line to reach in and try to. Yeah. I hate their suffering. I can't see them suffer. That's why you need to practice patience too. You need to learn how to be still with their suffering and not lean in. You have to tolerate, you have to learn how to be present with the suffering so that you don't try to have less suffering. But that's a danger. When you get close to suffering, it's a danger that you might think, well, I just did this. But if I'm trying to get rid of my suffering to do that, that's not teaching them what they need to learn. They need to learn to be upright with their own suffering and not lean in to fix it. If you can do that, you can teach them that, then they can understand their sufferings.

[49:26]

But when you get close, one of the dangers of close is to lean forward into it. Of course, it's common to lean away, but that's when you're far away. But as you come close and you're not leaning away anymore, then you feel the intensity of it. You kind of want to fix it, lean into it. Then take care of that in yourself. You may have to go someplace else for a while and say, okay, now, let go of the fixing thing. Be welcoming to the fixing thing. Okay, now I'm careful of the fixing thing. Now I can go back and be with them. And the fixing impulse may still arise, but I'll just keep welcoming it, and then it won't mess the situation up. And so they'll see me opening to my suffering, opening to their suffering, and opening to my impulse to fix it. They'll see that because they have it. And they'll see she doesn't do anything with it. She's right with me. She's feeling all this, but she's not messing with it.

[50:30]

She's not getting away from it. She's not going, I think I'll try it. And then they try it. And then they don't do it right. Feel that and don't try to fix that. And then they learn from their mistakes because they see that you're learning from their mistakes and that you learn from your mistakes. They can make mistakes. you'll be there with them no matter how many mistakes they make. It isn't like you're going to be there and fix their mistakes and move on. And you have to learn within your time zone. No. You'll be there as long as they need to learn what they need to learn. But the Buddha cannot fix people and the Buddha cannot get them to learn at the Buddha's rate. She has to wait and tolerate the pain of how long it takes to learn these practices. I find it to be compulsive since I was a child. Yeah, so you have to welcome the compulsion. Go towards the pain. Yeah, so this lady was writing the compulsion.

[51:35]

So you have to welcome that compulsion. You have to welcome that compulsion. When you welcome it, the compulsion will be dropped eventually. But I don't know how many moments you're going to have to welcome that compulsion before the compulsion feels really welcome and feels like, okay, I'm welcome now. And I'm respected. And I can stay or leave. It's okay with her, whichever way. She'll practice the same way with me whether I'm present or not. But I've been recognized and respected and welcomed. You're welcomed. Thanks for being yourself. Is that enough for this morning? I mean, for this afternoon? Yes, please come if you'd like. I'm trying to think about my question how to talk about it what's in the last maybe six months is the memories of the assassination of John F. Kennedy like in various ways and so I started to watch those movies again and think about all that and

[53:18]

that I notice how I go into, or I notice how much emotion I have around the fact that, you know, like, about collective delusion, sort of the sense that the way, the lies on a collective level, and... And then I feel like, oh, I want to do something about that. It really bothers me. So, let's see, working backwards, you're noticing yourself, you want to do something about collective delusion, did you say? Yeah. And then before that, you were trying to practice with some feelings of pain or unviolence. Right. Yeah, and injustice. And injustice, yeah. Like the truth not being... You know, the truth... Yeah, so I'm suggesting that we learn to be gracious with violence, learn to be gracious with... And then once gracious with violence, learn to be nonviolent with it.

[54:30]

Once we let the violence in, then learn to be nonviolent with it. And then be gracious with the impulse to... and all this, to learn to be that way with violence is the Buddha way of and to realizing nonviolence. Martin Luther King was contemplating violent responses to the situation. Some of his people that he was working with were people that were going to use arms as part of this project of Justice. They were going to use armed to realize justice. He was starting to develop a relationship with these people and his house got bombed. And then he kind of got it that that's not the way.

[55:33]

He chose to not go the way of violence. And he chose not to fight but to stand upright. And to welcome, to welcome the violence. Not to ask for it, but to welcome it. And that example is why we celebrate his life. I mean, that's the main thing, is his welcoming violence. He didn't like it. And he also welcomed injustice and spoke from that welcoming place in such a beautiful way. He wasn't all twisted and tense and closed down in trying to... He was speaking from a great welcoming heart in the face of his coming death. He could see it coming, I feel. And he welcomed it.

[56:33]

It seems that he welcomed it. It seemed like he really was... the Buddha way. But it's difficult to welcome violence. It's difficult to welcome sickness. It's difficult to welcome delusion. It's difficult to welcome obsession and compulsion. It's difficult to welcome likes and dislikes. And then again, once you welcome, then be careful of all this stuff. This stuff you've got to be careful of. Once the pain's in the door, then we're at risk of trying to fix it. When it's far away, we don't try to fix it necessarily. When it gets up really close, oh, fix it. Well, that's another thing to welcome. So you can expose yourself to these stimulants to test your ability to open and relax with this difficult material.

[57:44]

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