I wanted to tell you that at the end of the talk earlier, when I got up and was about to depart the area of the seat, I rearranged these support codes. And I... I was aware that I was going to wholeheartedly, I wanted to wholeheartedly rearrange them. They had become somewhat disheveled in the process of me sitting on them. Plus these two top ones, which were on the pile originally, I had set aside. So I rearranged the pile and put these two back on top in a neat pile. Now, I could have rearranged them some other way, but the way I rearranged them, I wanted to do it wholeheartedly, and I was happy with my performance of wholeheartedness in repiling these cushions.

[01:09]

And I was aware that sometimes when I get up from sitting in this seat and I'm leaving the salon, I sometimes feel a little bit like rearranging those cushions is not a real big deal. You know, like I have bigger, more important things to do than pile up cushions. I'm an important person. I have bigger things to do than pile up cushions. But I think what I'm talking about is that If you're someplace, even though you may have to do other places, this is the place to practice. And even though you may have lots of appointments with big important people later today, the person you're talking to is the person to practice with completely.

[02:18]

Talk to these important people. Who knows? But if you take care of this person wholeheartedly, Buddha is alive in the world. And if we don't do our little jobs that are right before us, we miss it. We miss the life of Buddha. Buddha is here, but we miss it. So I thought that showed me that I sometimes, when it comes to these cushions, I sometimes don't give them my wholeheartedness. I don't give my arranging the cushion wholeheartedness. So I'm confessing that to you. But I wish in the future to be more wholehearted about the way I take care of these cushions and

[03:19]

Like picking up teacups is a great opportunity. Then lifting teacups is the tea ceremony of the Buddha way. And putting down teacups is the tea ceremony of the Buddha way. That reminds me of a story. But I'll tell you the story later, if you remind me. Is there anything you'd like to discuss? Yes, would you come up here, please? Can I have those? There's a question right here.

[04:32]

Please sit down. Is that correct? Huh? Is that correct? Okay. What is it? Can everyone hear me? My question is in regard to the challenge of engaging technology. Yes. Be it as my daily experience of the world, as a filmmaker, as an instructor of media arts, I find it very challenging to maintain my physical posture, my spiritual posture, the focus of my eyes, my internal emotional focus. And so my question in particular is, is it possible to wholeheartedly engage technology when our experience of the world is becoming increasingly virtual? Is it possible? Well, of course it's possible.

[05:38]

I'm not sure. Maybe let me rephrase my question. If killing is half-hearted, is perhaps technology intrinsically half-hearted? Nothing is intrinsically half-hearted. Even any kind of half-heartedness I experience, it isn't really intrinsically half-hearted. It's not really half-hearted. But if I think it's half-hearted, and I take good care of the half-heartedness, I'll realize it's not intrinsically half-hearted. But if I think it's half-hearted and I don't take care of it, or I try to push the half-heartedness away, then the half-heartedness be real. Or I push it away because I think it's real. Even if I think it's real, if I take good care of things I think are real, I'll realize that they're actually insubstantial. So the challenge of technology is very great.

[06:48]

It's a very great challenge. to our presence and our wholeheartedness. I myself, if I had to do your work, I would find it extremely difficult to be present with that. I would probably feel like, boy, I'm really failing at wholeheartedness in this arena. This is very advanced for me. But partly because it's brand new, and part of the thing about technology is it keeps being brand new. By extension, we have to keep upgrading ourselves to stay in tandem with the technology. And I think it's not even just about my vocation. I think this is, again, as citizens of the world, of our culture. It's always been that way, as far as I know. In tea ceremony, speaking of tea ceremony, I had the experience of having tea with a tea teacher, and it's just when I was about ready to be wholehearted about a particular form, because sometimes it's hard to be wholehearted about something when you're just starting to learn it.

[07:50]

you hardly know, you can hardly see it. And just as I was about to, like, be kind of fully engaged and wholehearted about it, she moved on to a tea ceremony. And then same with that one. As soon as I was just about ready to, like, almost, like... Then she made me go back to the previous one, which by then I had forgotten. And so it's... It's very... What we're talking about is hard... in the world of change, constantly new situations. So you think this is the way it is, and then you think this is the truth, but then everything changes. So now what's the truth? So, yeah, very challenging. But there is a dialectic there and use our response to technology to say, oh, I notice my posture. Yes. But what about the planet? I mean, does that have the flexibility that we have to reflect? I mean, that's being eroded a lot because of technology and the way it is used.

[08:59]

But you could also say that People's ability, you could say, is being eroded. People's ability to adapt, you could say, is being eroded. But then again, when it gets eroded enough, people somehow change and to adapt. So I don't know if we're going to be able to adapt and be wholehearted and I don't know if the earth is going to be able to adapt and be wholehearted, but I am saying that we can be aware when we feel half-hearted. And we can be aware that we are or are not wholehearted about the half-heartedness. We can be aware that we reject something rather than embrace it. We can be aware of that. And we can be aware of the cause and effect of rejecting and the cause and effect of clinging and the cause and effect in a relaxed, flexible, wholehearted way.

[10:03]

We can observe this. And we can, by cause and effect, we can find out that we do want to live wholeheartedly and that there is a life Like that. And maybe it's the life we want. And then we get challenged again and say, well, I missed. Much for me, I tensed up. It was too new. It was too strange. I tensed up. But I understand. That's the usual part of the process of learning. So I'm going to continue trying this approach legally to what's given to me. I'm going to do that path. But is it hard? Yes. Do I miss? Yes. Is it hard for other people? Yes. Do they miss? Yes. Do they sometimes practice wholeheartedness and feel gratified and encouraged? Yes. In essence, are you just saying that heartedness is a practice of mindfulness?

[11:05]

It's not which path or technology, not technology, but just is it an opportunity for us to be aware we're being half-hearted or can be more wholehearted? Mindfulness, wholeheartedness, pretty much the same. It's about maybe the generosity that's involved in mindfulness, that it's not just keeping track of things and getting caught in liking and disliking them. It's a total mindfulness experience. And when something new comes, it's hard to find a mindful place on it. But watch surfers. Some of them learn how to do it, right? Even though there's new stuff coming at them all the time, they somehow learn how to do it. It's very hard, though. And various kinds of surfers, right? Thank you for your question.

[12:07]

Anything else you'd like to discuss? Please come if you want to come here and discuss it with me. Oh, please come. You can come. Just come up. If you want to talk with me, please come up. Please sit down or stand up. Gentlemen, please come. Come, come, [...] come. As you were speaking about the wholeheartedness, what I was seeing or what I was feeling is to me is not an act. Wholeheartedness is beyond what I can do or cannot do. That's how its wholeheartedness is to me. So therefore, I feel like something that is beyond me, how can I act it and how can I practice what is not in a way?

[13:21]

Yeah, right. Well, what comes to my mind is you do it, for example, with me. So the wholeheartedness isn't my wholeheartedness or your wholeheartedness, but us together giving ourselves to wholeheartedness. We're talking now. I'm talking. You're looking at me. I'm looking at you. This is what we're doing. So we want to do this thing we're doing together wholeheartedly. So, in fact, I can't do it by myself. You have to help me. I don't even know if I can do or if I'm doing it. I don't know if I'm doing it either. Oh, okay. But we wish to be wholehearted. We wish to give ourselves completely. Don't we? Yeah. Yeah, we do. And giving myself completely doesn't belong to me. Right. And it doesn't belong to you. Right. So it's beyond our own personal action, and yet all of our actions are donated to this wholeheartedness.

[14:29]

All of our actions are donated to the wholeheartedness, which is the realization of Buddha. which is a realization of benefiting beings. This which neither one of us owns, neither one of us knows. The being together in this way knows. Our... Together. Yeah. Us trying to give ourselves to our relationship. Right. That knows. and the actual giving. That knows. That's the Buddha. It's not one Buddha or the other Buddha. It's the Buddhas together. It's the gracious people together. It's the wholehearted beings together who are actually helping each other be wholehearted to be on their own possession of something, their own wholeheartedness. It's our wholeheartedness that we help ourselves to. And we don't know what it is, but The way we are practicing together, that's knows. That is the knowing of it.

[15:31]

And once that's experienced, it knows. So there we experience, but not... We know it when we experience. There's a knowingness, right? No. There's a knowingness, but that knowingness, that experience is not it. But that experience could be very encouraging, possibly. You could be like, whoa, this is wonderful. But that's your opinion. I might say, that was terrible. And yet, we have realized wholeheartedness together. And you thought it was wonderful, and I thought it was terrible. But both of us know that wasn't what it was. That was just our little nickname for it. And because of this realization, you're not pushed around by wonderful, and I'm not pushed around by terrible. And so I could say, I'm ready to trade. I'll give you terrible.

[16:32]

No, you give me wonderful. You say, fine. Because you're empowered by what we've realized together. You're not stuck to... No. No. No, it's not that. No, you're not stuck to wonderful. That's... I'm stuck to this place of... You're stuck? Yes, I'm stuck into this place. Are you wholehearted about that? Can I help you be wholehearted? Absolutely. Okay. That I'm wholehearted. There's this piece, and I would love to be able to do that piece in every act, every step, every everything. Yeah, but that's... not in accord with reality to maintain something. Things can't be maintained. What can be maintained is change. You can maintain that, but you don't have to maintain change. The universe... It's not your job to maintain change. So don't try to maintain peace. If you're wholehearted with... You're shaking your head the wrong direction. I know.

[17:35]

Well, give it up. I know you like this, so give it up. I'm here to help you give up maintaining good things. It's hard. Oh, I didn't know it's hard. That's why I'm here to help you. Yeah, right. I'll try, thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. You have something to give us? Yes, I do. Something to give us? Definitely good. You want to hold this? First of all, I want to say peace and harmony and love be unto you all. All have the greatest year that you have ever had before. I came here today to see this man. I listened to what he said this morning. What he said is the truth. It is truth and wisdom. It has to be all of the heart. It cannot be any less. Now, I came here because the Great Spirit sent me here.

[18:36]

What he told me was this, and it happens in this community. It cannot come through any other source. The Dalai Lama knows I am here. Now, you and Norman are the two men that I came to see. And this is it. Through the Dalai Lama, he will contact all of you. ...leaders of all the churches in the world. On a given day, they ought to get together to pray for peace and love and harmony to return into this world for all mankind. Now, it must come through the Dalai Lama. Thank you very much. I want you to stay here, okay, until this takes place. Good luck. I've been told that that is not possible. I don't know. I don't think it's impossible, but unlikely. I really would. Well, there's ways to do that, though.

[19:39]

My wife is here, too. I've told her about this place. Does she know? Does she be staying here, too? Does she believe it? Does she want to stay here, too? Yes. Okay. See, we came here. So the usual way is to apply, to do so. We want to do that. All right. We came here to be of service. We ask nothing in return. Thank you. It's good to see you. Good to see you. I have a dilemma.

[20:51]

Can you hear her? Yes? If you do it like this, I think they'll be able to hear you. I'm trying not to cry also. So what you said earlier really struck a chord in me. I want to live wholeheartedly and be of help. I have a disease that's in its very early stages, but it causes my body to tremor and tense up. And it's very distracting. Distracting from what? Being present to other things around me and other people that I'm talking to.

[21:57]

So, but when it comes, it's something to meet wholeheartedly. But I don't want to be that self-absorbed. Well, this isn't really you. It's just a guest that's coming to you. And if you don't attend to it and you try to attend to me or others, you won't attend to us either as very well because you'll be coming from not welcoming. If you welcome this, you will eventually be able to welcome other tremors. So when this is being offered to you, welcome it. Wholeheartedly, wholeheartedly feel it. This is a more difficult version than these cushions.

[23:03]

But I thought, I have more important things to do than pile these cushions in. You might think, I have more important things to do than take care of this tremor. But when the tremor is offered to you, this is the thing for you to be wholehearted with. And if it's offered to you often, then it's something you often need to give yourself to. And there's just some resistance to that. You know, you have more important things to do than take care of a tremor, right? Well, no. And if you can tune in... It wasn't my choice. No. It's not my choice to take care of these cushions either. But in fact, there they were. Who's going to take care of them? You can say, well, how can your attendant take care of the cushions? Okay, fine. But notice that they need some attention. And if I'm not going to do it, get somebody else to take care of it.

[24:05]

So you could just say, would somebody else watch my tremor for me while I talk to these people? It's possible. But, yeah, this is a, this is a, this is a coming guest for you to welcome. And if you do that, that will be your great, at that moment, your great offering to this world, is that you can take care of this constantly changing body But I feel fear. It's not just the body. Yeah. And the wholeheartedness of taking care of the fear. Can I put my hand down? You can do it if you want to. Express yourself fully. And the same with the fear. You might say, so there's a tremor. I'd rather not take care of that. And also there's some fear. I'd rather not take care of it to do something else. Well, if we skip over the fear... we're not going to be able to be wholehearted with the person we're talking to.

[25:09]

If I take care of my fear, if I really graciously accept and welcome and am mindful and alert with my fear, I can stand to talk to each person, each being. But fear is a very difficult guest to welcome and meet wholeheartedly. But again, if you can do that wholeheartedly, Buddha is manifested in this world to all beings, and you're included in that. But you help all other beings who are also running away from their fear and their tremors. Then you become a person who lives at the place where the Buddhas are living. And you, together with the fear, in wholeheartedness, And then get other frightened people to come and show them how they can meet their fear. What?

[26:17]

That just sounds like a . I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if you can do it either. I don't know that you can do it now, but I'm betting on that you will learn to do this. This is what we're here to learn. We're here to learn to face fear and to face whatever wholeheartedly. I don't know when we're going to learn this. Sometimes we learn it and then we forget it. Sometimes we remember it in several moments and then we lose it for several moments. But I think this is what I'm betting on in this life, is to quite frequently face fear. And I do not try to get rid of it. I mean, occasionally I try to get rid of it. But not too often. I don't tell people who tell me they're afraid, you're not afraid. I don't tell people who tell me they're afraid, don't be afraid. You're a big boy, don't be afraid.

[27:19]

I don't tell people that. I try to open to their fear to show them that they can open to their fear. I don't tell people who are tremoring to stop tremoring. I try to welcome their tremor. If I'm tremoring, I try to welcome my tremor. If I'm changing to a new person who's different quite a bit from the old person, I try to welcome that new person. If I'm embarrassed about the new person, I try to welcome the embarrassment about the new person. You may not notice it, but I notice slurred speech around it. You know, pretty soon the saliva is going to be dripping down the cheeks. I'll lose control of the saliva. My mouth, my lips, my tongue can get uncoordinated and hard for me to speak. No, he can't talk anymore like he used to be able to talk years ago.

[28:25]

But he seems to be he seems to be welcoming his new falling apart self. How wonderful. Maybe I could... I'll be able to. So you and I can, as we change, if we can work with our changes, we can help a lot of people who are also having trouble with their changes. And this will be a great joy to us to offer this assistance. So you can benefit to many beings if you can work with your fear about this changing body, this wonderful, miraculous changing body. There's a possibility. There's a possibility you can work with the changing technology. there's a possibility. And if you can, this is the Buddha way.

[29:28]

This is how to help people. Or getting twisted and turned and distorted by not being able to welcome and wholeheartedly live with them. And turning it into a world of loss. Loss. Change can be seen as the next gift but they're turning it into loss and fear and violence. We've got to get to the center of the chain and practice giving there. And that's the first way to overcome fear. And then we can show fearlessness, nonviolence, and joy. But it's not easy. I'm not saying it's easy. You have this great opportunity. Thank you.

[30:28]

You're welcome. The story? The story. Here's a story I heard about a man named Samuel Johnson. He's a person who had quite a bit of intellectual capacity. He was like the best conversationalist in England, some people thought. So he followed kind of a monastic schedule, even though he lived in an apartment in London or something. So part of the Christian monastic schedule is to get up at midnight Is it called Matins? Does anybody know? What's it called, the nighttime thing? It's got a name, anyway.

[31:30]

It's one of the times to practice. You get up in the middle of the night and pray. So he did that. He got up in the middle of the night and prayed. So one night he got up to pray, and he experienced some major change, painful change in his head. maybe he probably was having a stroke. Just a terrible, terrible neurological storm hit him as he got up to do his... But he went ahead with his prayers in the middle of the stroke. And he prayed He said he prayed that although his body may be paralyzed and harmed in many ways, but he prayed to God to preserve his mind. And he finished his prayer, which he did in Latin, and then he went back to bed.

[32:36]

And as he was lying in bed, he thought, oh, you know, those verses were not very good. Latin verses and that prayer. So he got up and he got in his prayer position again and he said, you know, dear Lord, thank you for preserving my critical capacities. And I thought, this is wholeheartedness, to be able to keep praying in the middle of a stroke. And also, you know, maybe also notice that your prayers aren't too good right in the middle of the stroke. But if you can't even notice whether they were good prayers or not, say, well, I'm glad to be able to be who I am right now. That was the story I thought of for those of us who are falling apart.

[33:39]

which is all of us. I have that story that we're changing. And that the changes are not losses, they are gifts. And entering that process is entering the process of Buddha. and showing others who are afraid of that process how to be fearless and in the midst of change. How to wholeheartedly engage and observe the pulsing change of cause and effect. I feel a great quiet.

[35:00]

It's wonderful. Is there anything else you'd like to bring up? This meeting is another attempt by me of my understanding And so a couple of days ago I said that the term wholeheartedness was a little bit elusive for me. And then today I was listening to you talk about how to be wholehearted, two beings to be wholehearted with each other. And that was an aspect of it that I really hadn't thought about very much before. I was just thinking about how I could be wholehearted. And so a few minutes ago, I thought, response is what came into my mind.

[36:03]

And for me, it seems like that describes wholeheartedness because there's a response between I and one or more other beings. Would you say that that's true? I would say that that's an encouragement. That's my story, and I'm encouraged by your response. Thank you. Thank you. It's coming up now, but I wanted to tell another story. Please come and sit here. Have your seat here. Yeah, that's fine, thank you. And so we're having an intensive here at Green Gulch where all of us and several guests come and for three weeks we're practicing together kind of intensively.

[37:07]

And some people have come to these retreats a number of years And some of them who have been here in the past have noticed some of the other people who have been here in the past. And they've came and told me this time about the way they used to see these people. Like one person came to see me and said, in the past I thought so-and-so was very gruff and angry and arrogant. And now this time, after practicing with him for a number of years, I now see how sweet and humble she is. Another person told me that they were afraid of somebody else in this intensive. And he also said, I've been afraid of him, and now I also see what a sweet little boy he is.

[38:11]

Thank you. I'm struggling to be wholehearted with the parts of me that react in a critical way when you're speaking. And I have been trying to be wholehearted in secret about that, and I wanted to risk being wholehearted with you instead. You've been trying to be wholehearted in secret? Well, I've been trying to practice a sort of relaxation with feeling negatively. So now you're inviting me into the practice of you relaxing with negativity arise in you. Exactly. Thank you. You're welcome. I don't know what else to say except that when I feel irritated or critical i i that experience and i reject you resist the the which experience you resist i sort of go i'm feeling bad vibes towards rep not good oh okay and then i get a bit tense and i try and relax so what's your intention now

[39:39]

When you have these feelings, so-called bad vibes towards Reb, what's your intention now with those bad vibes towards Reb? I want to realize they're not so scary or so significant or so solid. You want to realize they're not so scary and thereby not be so scared of them. I think if I'm honest, I want them to go away, actually, which is not very smart. Well, so are you thinking of giving up that intention? The one of wanting them to go away? Because the one of going away is kind of like squashing them, right? Yeah. So you've noticed that you try to squash these negative opinions. Now I'm asking you, now what's your intention? Do you intend to continue to try to squash them? No. Oh, you don't want to do that. What do you want to do? I'd like to have loads of room to let them live. Loads of intention, these negative views.

[40:42]

You have my full support. Can I build a little inner playground for them to play in alongside my positive? You can make an inner playground for them and you can also invite people like me in to look at your playground and let us maybe re-landscape. and see if you're trying to control the inner playground. And that will help you make a real good inner playground to let other people into your playground like you're doing right now. So now everybody knows, you know, and they're going to come and try to say, what negative thoughts do you have? I have to... Let's make a playground for that stuff. And in the playground... You can learn to be playful with these negative thoughts and be creative with these negative thoughts and understand these negative thoughts and be free of these negative thoughts. So let's make a playground and invite some other people into the playground. And also there should be a playground for the positive thoughts too.

[41:47]

So you shouldn't get tense around the positive thoughts and try to relax with the negative ones. Make a playground for all, for your total being. But also get other people in on the structure. That will make it a better playground. Because they'll start meddling with the way you're doing it. And if you can let them in, that will help you be more playful with the stuff in the playground. I feel very... I feel a tension with it that I... A tenseness? A tenseness with what? Even with sitting here naming it and... Okay, so there's some tension. Yeah. So then watch and see are you trying to get rid of the tension or... the tension. Welcoming the... I would recommend welcoming the tension around this stuff. What do you think?

[42:49]

I think that's a good idea. I think so too. Should we try it? Yeah. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. What time is it? Six? Yes. I came to practice my intention to be playful with pain. To relax with pain? Yes, to relax with pain. And then play with it? Yes. Okay, wonderful. Very important and beneficial intention.

[43:53]

Relax and play with pain. If anybody finds a way to participate, join me. I've heard there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord. But you don't really care for music, do you? It goes like this. The minor falls, the major lifts, the baffled king composing hallelujah. Hallelujah. [...] Thank you. Any other gifts you'd like to offer?

[44:59]

So it feels really good to do things wholeheartedly, like it feels right in the body and the mind. And yet, it's not always the case. I guess I wonder why is it when our experience is like, oh, this is a good intention. This is my cultivating this. It feels right. I want to benefit. And then to keep noticing that it's difficult to do all the time. So I guess the question is, how can it be easier to be wholeheartedly all the time? How can it be easier to be wholehearted all the time? Yeah. Or why is it difficult to be wholehearted all the time? The question, why is it difficult to be wholehearted all the time, is a question to be wholehearted with. And if you're wholehearted with the question, you do not... I welcome your question, but let's be wholehearted about it.

[46:30]

And if you're wholehearted about it, you're done with that. You're ready for a new life. Well, see, what do you got now? The sunny day in Marin County? Before that, you were standing there with a microphone in your hand. So I'm not telling you don't ask that question. I'm just saying be wholehearted about that question. which means you're not trying to get something. You're giving yourself. So you give yourself to the question. You don't try to get an answer from the question. The question's your guest. Give yourself to your guest, which is wondering why you're half-hearted sometimes. At that moment, you're not being half-hearted. You don't care about the fact that I'm not half-hearted. No, I want to actually know about why I'm not half-hearted. Okay, fine. Well, that's fine. Welcome that, too. But don't get into answering the question. Now, there is an answer to the question.

[47:34]

I'll tell you, you know, and then you don't have to ask it anymore. It's past habit. Moments of half-heartedness are the main reason for half-heartedness. And there's a lot of them, so there's a huge wave of half-heartedness crashing down around you all the time. And it's your own, yes, no. It's the whole society of half-heartedness and destruction from wholeheartedness. So it's hard. In a way, they're sometimes big and sometimes little. And just when you get used to the big ones, you get a little one. You get out of shape for the little ones. You thought, hey, I was doing great on the big ones, now little ones you get impatient with, you know, etc. All kinds of different patterns and challenges. Welcome and all. and don't spend too much time trying to figure out why it is that it's so hard. You know the answer now. Karmic accumulation is the answer.

[48:37]

By the way, you will become an omniscient Buddha or rather, you know, you will join the Omniscient Buddha Club with all the other Buddhas, and they, in their realm of the Buddhas practicing together, they understand how it is that, exactly, how people get to be half-hearted, how karmic formations... But the thing is to be wholehearted with the karmic formations, with the hindrance, with the obstructions, with the half-heartedness, be gracious with the half-heartedness, that's the path of wholeheartedness. So we've got plenty of half-heartedness to be gracious with, right? Challenges which we're afraid to meet, okay? These are the opportunities. It's a distraction to try to figure out why we get this opportunity. Meet this person. Don't spend a lot of time, why is this person here talking to me? But if the person that's coming to talk to you is the question, why is this person here talking to me?

[49:41]

Then take care of that question. Does that make sense? Thank you for answering my question. You're welcome. Pretty question. Yeah. Please forgive me for answering. What does red mean? Do you know? Red means battery's low. The time is running out. These are very heavy words that wear the battery out. These are stressful topics. Any other gifts you wish to offer all? The batteries are low. The spirits are high. You've been talking in the last weeks and

[50:43]

Is it pretending wholeheartedness? When you talk about wholeheartedness... Yeah, pretend wholeheartedness. Pretend wholeheartedness. Yeah. Pretend to be wholehearted. Pretend to be welcoming. So if it's pretending, then you don't have to worry so much whether it's really... Right, exactly. You could just pretend. Yeah, right. You don't have to wait until you're really wholehearted or you're really welcoming. You can pretend to welcome. Like here, you know, sometimes we have the practice of joining our palms and bowing to people. Okay? You can pretend to bow, you know, which means you can pretend to honor the person you're bowing to and respect them and be compassionate to them. You can pretend. I love that. And... I think there's some reservation that is that the real thing?

[51:51]

The real wholeheartedness, the real... There is no real thing besides pretending. So in the question, is that the real thing? Then you're welcome to question, is it a real thing? Did someone sigh? That question, is this the real thing, is welcome in the arena of human performance, on the stage of human action. All questions are welcome in the Buddha way, in the bodhisattva way. But the question, is this the real thing, that's not pretending. The pretending is you pretend to be wholehearted when you're asking the question. Or you pretend to welcome that question. And then there's no grasping at this is real welcoming.

[52:54]

This is real wholeheartedness. Because wholeheartedness is not a fixed thing. It's just the way you're trying to practice it now. And you might feel like, oh my God, I'm pretending to practice wholeheartedly and I'm wholeheartedly pretending to practice wholeheartedness. And you go tell somebody, I finally wholeheartedly pretended to practice wholeheartedness and then the person responds to you to see if you can like not hold on to this great achievement of being wholehearted about pretending at being wholehearted. But you might be able to just, you know, not even just, I'm being wholehearted. I feel like I'm being completely wholehearted. And then to see if you can let go of that, that would show that you actually understand that it was actually a pretend wholeheartedness. Because there is no real wholeheartedness.

[53:55]

That's a fixed thing. The real wholeheartedness is ungrasped together. There's no, like, there's not some real thing there. That is reality. that there's not a fixed reality. That's the reality. I know you knew that. It is really a happy, happy teaching. It's so wonderful. Thank you. What time is it now? Twelve thirty-eight. Okay. Any more gifts? There's still more room for gifts. I have a confession.

[55:02]

Is it a gift? I don't know. Would you like it to be a gift? Very much so. Well, then give it as a gift. I, by the way, also make it a gift. Thank you. And jealousy, which I find I have a hard time saying. Jealousy? Jealousy. That's how you say it. Jealousy. Did you say it awkwardly? Just now, did you say it wholeheartedly? I said it wholeheartedly in the small way. Do you want to say it in a small way? I wish to say it in a wholeheartedly way, and it comes out in a small way. Okay. And then the word probably associated would be envy. Envy, jealousy, yeah. And I don't know if there's a difference between the two, and I believe envy is one of the seven deadly sins. I don't know. And I hear a lot of teachings about anger.

[56:05]

It's one of the seven difficult gifts. Okay. So that's my confession. Okay. Thank you. And I have a question. Is there any... For what it was, yes. I don't know. Again, I don't know. Okay, I just asked. I'll try to get your answer. Yeah, I want an answer. Go right ahead. And I think what happens is that when something is forbidden in me, I make it an exception to treating it like right now. I can maybe welcome anger to a degree, but the word jealousy is somehow an exception. It's an exception. To... talking about, to expressing it, to confessing it, to... It's something not to be talked about.

[57:11]

It's forbidden to talk about it. Yes. However, when it comes, is it forbidden to welcome it? Yes. Okay. Are you going to lift that prohibition? I want to. Well, are you ready to lift the prohibition? I am lifting it. It's jammed. It's really jammed down in there, that one. I'll try to help you. I'm welcoming your jealousy. I'm welcoming any jealousy that's arising in the neighborhood here. Thank you. You want to join me? I do, and I need to say it's jealousy of my brothers. I need to confess that. I need of people who have had success in an arena that I dropped out of. Okay. I need to say I'm afraid they will reject me for not having stayed in the arena with them.

[58:16]

Well, now you're moving on to fear. Okay. Okay. So I don't, and I want to say Shoho gave me a wonderful moment Of waking to my jealousy when I was here for the Shusso ceremony with her. So I want to thank her for that. You were jealous of how brilliant she was? I was. And I told her, and it felt like I slapped her. It felt like I slapped her. And I was so grateful to her for allowing that moment. And the way I've worked with my jealousy is that I see it as a symptom of something that I want, that I want to be the way Shoho was. So I express that to her as well. So that's the full... Those are my full jealousies. Thank you for those gifts. And if you learn to welcome jealousy, and you will become...

[59:19]

a brilliant Buddha. If you reject jealousy, you'll postpone that event. It's still going to happen, but got to welcome all guests. Here's a guest. Welcome. Yes, thank you. Would you please hold this like that? This battery is still low. Yeah, but it's still working still. It is still. Yeah. Yes, I have a question about, I thank you for your presentation this morning, it was very good. But there's one word that I haven't heard you say all morning, and that word is love. And I was curious, maybe it's semantics or something, but what is the difference between wholeheartedness and love? Well, I would say that whole life is Buddha's love.

[60:21]

Because it's not love like, like, or dislike. It's like willingness to give yourself completely to something, like a person, for example. I'm happy to give my whole life to you, and I'm also happy to receive your whole life. And it hurts me, and I'm happy that it hurts me, because I love you so much. That's wholeheartedness. Good. That's how I feel. When I feel wholehearted, I feel loving. Yeah. And you can also... There can be dislike in the neighborhood. They can be around, but they don't touch, really. They support the love. They make it stronger, actually. Both of them. And that brings me to another point where you say that wholeheartedness needs wholeheartedness. But I feel that, and I can't say that it's always true, but I feel that sometimes I am talking to someone that is half-hearted, so I'm trying to give wholehearted love to them to help them become more wholehearted.

[61:38]

Yeah, yeah. We need other beings to be wholehearted with us. We also need, and there's no shortage of that, half-hearted people. Half-hearted people stimulates the growth of wholeheartedness. And wholeheartedness helps us realize that we don't... Other wholehearted beings help us realize it's not mine. It's our wholeheartedness. And people who feel half-hearted... who are asking you to teach them how to be wholehearted, they also stimulate the process by being afraid and violent and things like that. The growth. So we need both unenlightened people who do not open to half-heartedness and we also need companion wholehearted practitioners so we don't get possessive. You're welcome.

[62:39]

Thank you for your question. We need enlightened beings and we need unenlightened beings, and we have both, so let's open up to them. Okay? So please, please be wholehearted. Please. May our intention equally extend to every being and place with the true merit of Buddha.

[63:19]

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