I think someone asked me, do you really believe that? I said, believe what? And he said, would you believe that business about being devoted to the welfare of others? I said, what do you mean do I believe that? it's happiness? No, no, I think that you say, what is that, being devoted to the welfare of others? And I say, it's happiness. And being primarily devoted to welfare of yourself, I believe that's unhappiness. And I'm very passionate about that, of those two things.

[01:07]

And somebody else has said something about Arhats. I don't know, are Arhats trying to get anything? I would say, no, they're not. They're not trying to get anything. Arhats are our spiritual practitioners, our great meditators who have received what they've always wanted to receive. They've received liberation from suffering. That's what I think. I think arhats probably were beings who aspired to personal liberation. And if when they aspired to personal liberation they were trying to get something, then of course they would suffer.

[02:22]

So arhats are people who are successful in the aspiration for liberation, who have learned to give up trying to get it for themselves. The spiritual principle of selfishness applies to all beings, not just to bodhisattvas. The spiritual being of selfishness applies to bodhisattvas. In other words, bodhisattvas understand that selfishness is not the way to go, and they don't want to. However, if a person aspires to personal liberation, they may be trying to get what they're aspiring to realize. And if they try to get personal liberation, they will get what they aspire to. When they finally learn to take care of their aspiration for personal liberation without any sense of personal gain or any other kind of gain, they will realize personal liberation.

[03:38]

If you aspire to personal misery, then it would be appropriate to try to get that. And if you tried to get it, you would be successful. Also, if you tried to get personal... If you tried to get personal unhappiness, then that would help you realize your aspiration for personal... Excuse me, if you tried to get personal happiness, that would help you realize your aspiration for personal unhappiness. Trying to get things is the path of unhappiness. To put it mildly. All the horrible things in the world come from beings trying to get stuff for themselves, which is natural for living beings. They're naturally acquisitive, trying to get stuff for themselves. It's natural for them to do that. They need training to not do that. And then to get the training, they usually need to aspire to get over that.

[04:50]

But aspiring isn't enough. As I mentioned, we have to train. this selfish, acquisitive, suffering-causing path. And the bodhisattva thing, they also are not, they have a different aspiration from the arhats. But the same principle applies to them. If they try to get if they try to get personal liberation, if they try to get personal happiness, and even if they try to get, even if they try to get the happiness of others, they will be frustrated in their aspiration. Sounds good to try to get happiness from others. The word get is the wrong word. You're not supposed to get anything. Bodhisattva's wish to enter into the practice of bodhisattvas, which is the practice of giving.

[05:53]

In the realm of giving, their aspiration for the welfare of all beings will be realized. Where you don't get anything. Things are given to you and you don't get to hold them. Things are given to you and you give them away. You can't grasp anything in the realm of the bodhisattva's null abode. of their mind and heart of knowable. You don't get anything. Receive everything and give everything. Receive everything, give everything. Self-receiving, self-employing. Self-receiving, self-giving. That's where the bodhisattvas live. And the arhats live there too. It's just that bodhisattvas aspire to more than just the personal liberation comes in that realm. Personal liberation comes and bodhisattvas give it away. if one aspires to be an arhat and realizes personal liberation and then gives it away, one is bodhisattva.

[07:01]

So arhats can aspire to be bodhisattvas. It's just that they may not. It's possible. They're primarily concerned with personal liberation. But when they get there, They're not trying to get anything. And they get there by giving and entering into generosity. Nobody can get personal liberation without practicing generosity. Arhats or bodhisattvas or Buddhas, they all have to practice non-attachment. That's a common thing throughout all the different forms of Buddhist students. So I imagine during Sashin I might feel inspired to bring up many stories of teachers and Zen students interacting around the practice of restraint.

[08:09]

around the first of the three bodhisattva pure precepts, the practice of restraint, the practice of restraint. And in particular, there's many Zen stories about students and teachers working together on restraining the impulse to get something from the teacher. Many students have come to visit me. But they come in that room, that little room over there, which there's some rumor may soon be destroyed. My little room. Maybe not. Well, it'll be soon destroyed anyway. Did you know that we have a fire on the roof here and nobody knew about it? And somehow it went out? When you go out the door, you can look at it from the deck.

[09:14]

You see some tarp paper and stuff. That's covering the hole that was burned in the roof. I saw some black stuff up there, right? I told Timo, and Timo went up there, and there was a big hole burned in the roof. And it wasn't hot, right? So it happened some time ago. Maybe it happened like... or something and the rain put it out. We don't know. Nobody knows much about it. So, anyway, I had this little room which will soon be destroyed. But in the meantime, some people go in there and some of these people come in there like ancient or Zen students and they say, I want to confess I came in here to try to get something from you. I said, good. Good that you noticed that. Don't worry, you won't. And when they find out that's true, they stop coming.

[10:24]

Some people have still not figured it out. They think, well, maybe next time. Now, what can I do? They don't even tell me what it is they want to get. But they're wise. They know that that's not the game. The game is to somehow go out of your way to go into a room without trying to get anything. How could you do that? How about going in to give something? I could go in there to give something to the room. I could give my body to the room. I could go into the zendo and give my body to the zendo. It's a zendo, right? It likes bodies. Go give your body to the Zendo. Or you could give your body to your dear friend, to your neighbor.

[11:29]

You can give your body in many ways by going into the Zendo. And that would be Bodhisattva practice. But to go into the Zendo, that's just miserable. To go in there to get famous is miserable. To go in there to get whatever a girlfriend or a boyfriend does, really, it's not going to be unhappy. It's not going to be happy. It's not going to be happy. It's not going to be happy. So the first bodhisattva precept is presence. You go into zendo, and you do that as a gift. And again, as I said recently, when you go in there and practice presence, you will practice giving.

[12:31]

And you will realize that the teachers, of course, are always teaching you. If you don't get anything from the teacher, you actually... You could say you might miss the teaching, but you will miss. But as soon as there's a flicker in your grasping, a little space, and you switch from getting, trying to give, you'll notice that at that moment you will receive something. from the teacher, from everybody. As soon as you join the practice of giving, you realize that the teaching has... you're receiving the teaching, and you're receiving a teaching that's given. Arhats receive great liberation. Bodhisattvas eventually receive great liberation in order to benefit and bring great liberation to others.

[13:39]

one of the big teachings of, well, it's taught in the Saminir Mochana Sutra, and then Asanga elaborates the teaching quite a bit, unfolds it and clarifies it quite a bit. And it's a teaching about a type of consciousness called storehouse consciousness, which I could, it's also called in Sanskrit, alaya vijnana. Acronym, A-V. Alive jnana is a consciousness, is a cognitive phenomenon that is also what we ordinarily call unconscious.

[15:18]

Or recent neuroscience, they now have the expression cognitive unconscious. A cognitive realm where various kinds of neural calculations are going on It's a consciousness that arises in support of a body, but it's unconscious. And now that people say that 95% of what's going on cognitively for humans, 95% of what's going on cognitively for humans functions in this cognitive unconscious. This cognitive unconscious, I think, is pretty much be pretty much synonymous with what the Buddha called alaya, and which the Samdhi Nirmacana Sutra and Asanga articulate as alaya-vijnana. The Buddha did not say alaya-vijnana, the Buddha just said alaya. But the way he described alaya and the Samdhi Nirmacana Sutra field, he was describing a consciousness

[16:27]

So they call the alaya that the Buddha spoke of, alaya vijnana. Alaya vijnana is also called the resultant. Alaya vijnana is the results of all our past karma. So all of our past karma not it, the consequences of it, for us, are present right now as our unconscious, storehouse unconscious. And this supports, maybe I'll just write, AC, active consciousness.

[17:30]

Active consciousness is a type of consciousness we ordinarily think of. It's the realm of consciousness where we think. It's the realm of consciousness which has specific objects like colors, sounds, smells, tastes, and mental phenomena like feelings. emotions and concepts. However, this teaching also parenthetically, this teaching says that our awareness of the physical objects is also through cognitive construction. But some mental objects we don't think of as physical things like nastiness, but nastiness is sort of physical, but I don't know, dreaming, sort of physical, but almost everything you think of is physical because all of our active states of consciousness are supported by the conscious and the unconscious is supported by the body.

[18:43]

So this is a, this is a, this alaya jnana is a physically based, an organically based unconscious and it's an unconscious that carries the consequences of all. So we have all the consequences of past karma, which is consequences of karmic states of consciousness, which is another consciousness which lives together with the body. And it supports the active consciousnesses. And every time an active consciousness arises, instantaneously, simultaneously with its arising, it changes our past. So our past supports our present cognitive experience, conscious cognitive experience. Our present, this cognitive consciousness is being supported by our unconscious, which is our past karma results.

[19:46]

And as soon as this state arises, it instantly transforms the past. So the past is simultaneously supporting the present and being transformed by the present. The past is actually not the past. The past is the present presentation of past karma. So the present carrier of the past supports the present and is transformed by the present consciousness. So our unconscious is constantly being transformed by our conscious. So there it is, right there, nice and simple. AV supports, transforms AV. This direction, the direction of AC transforming AV is called perfuming or permeation.

[20:50]

Perfuming, it's a light touch, you know, you have this huge... repository or this huge resource of the consequences of past karma, all wholesome, unwholesome and neutral karma is carried by this consciousness. And the present conscious thought, it's a small change. It's like that story of the man who was wiping a huge boulder with a wet feather in hopes of wearing it away. This alaya can be by being touched by the active consciousnesses which are cognitively constructing a version of the teaching which is being given all the time to active consciousnesses.

[21:58]

So the Buddhas are constantly emanating Dharma to active consciousnesses, which means to living beings. And living beings are making a cognitive construction of these teachings into, well, if it's bodhisattvas, for example, they're converting these teachings, these dharma teachings which are beyond words, they're converting these dharma teachings which are beyond words into and this cognitive activity transforms to laya, but also this cognitive activity of receiving dharma, the receiving of the dharma D with a circle around it is dharma. And then there's another word called kaya, which means body.

[23:06]

Dharmakaya, or dharma body, is the body of the Buddha. And the dharma body, on words, and the dharma body is the totally transformed, totally transformed, unconscious, of a sentient being, is the true body of Buddha. And that true body of Buddha resonates teachings back to living beings. And when living beings receive the teachings, they convert these teachings into something that makes sense to them. And that conversion then starts to create Baby Dharmakaya. So, a living being,

[24:18]

The Buddhas are transmitting the Dharma to me, I'm converting it into word images, I'm speaking it to you, you're hearing it, and also while you're hearing it, it's also coming to you directly. So you're getting it sort of, it's bouncing off me to you and to you. It's radiant. You can't see it, but you see it reflecting off what I'm saying and you see it reflecting off everything else that's happening. It's coming to you and you're making sense of it by converting it into linguistic rendition. And it starts to create a wisdom body. you're also receiving teachings which you, again, they're Dharma teachings, you're converting the words, they're Dharma teachings, and they're teachings about how to receive the teachings. So basically you're receiving a teaching that if you're kind to what's coming to you, if you're really kind to what's coming to you, you'll realize that it's actually the Dharma coming to you.

[25:30]

So there's a teaching that's trying to help us understand how to be kind to our rendition of the teaching. So some of the teachings are teachings about how to be kind to what's coming to us, and some of the teachings are teachings about what is the nature of what's coming to us. So this teaching of this summary of Mahayana's basic nature of all of our experience is that it's just ideas, or just conscious construction. In order to understand that, we have to listen to that teaching and all kinds of variations on it, plus teachings about how to for a lot. And when we do, we gradually are able to receive that teaching and enter it. And once we enter it, then we start to actually dismantle the basis of conscious cognitive construction.

[26:44]

But the teaching does not come from the storehouse consciousness. It comes from the complete transformation of the storehouse. But the sarhas consciousness and the complete transformation of it are totally not separate. They're not separate. They're totally intimate. And the... does not have any sense of duality about anything. There's no such elaboration. And, yeah, so at the beginning of chapter three of the summary of Mahayana, it says, what is the entry into the, you know, the way things really are, the characteristics of what we know?

[27:49]

And Asanga says, the entry is supported by permeations of much hearing of the doctrine of the great vehicle. It is not comprised within the container context. So our active states of consciousness are supported by the results of past states of consciousness, which are afflicted by the belief that things are other than just conscious constructions, that things have substantial existence other than just being mere fabrications. We have a long history of, in the background, contributing to our present inclination to a world that makes sense to us, that looks like people are separate from us, and other things are separate from us, and Dharma is separate from us.

[28:50]

So we have that background, and that background does not teach us this Dharma. Dharma is coming to us, And so here's an example of where the Dharma that's coming to us is telling us the Dharma is coming to us not from his karmic place, but from another place. However, the other place is based on working with the karmic place for a long way, but the basis of the karmic place has been completely transformed into a place, a thing, a way totally beyond the karmic mind. and totally caring about the karmic mind. And it does not construct the karmic mind anymore, so this is not a creator god, this Dharmakaya. It doesn't create the world anymore, but living beings continue to create the world, and this mind which is not creating a world anymore, this mind which does not construct anymore, is the realm of construction.

[30:02]

all the beings who are still have active consciousnesses supported by past karma, all those beings create a world and maintain a world by their ongoing active karma. And they're continuing to create the world until they totally transform, until their sthoros consciousness is totally transformed into the dharmakaya, into the dharma body of Buddha. So the world is being maintained by which living beings share residence. And those who have completely let go of the world are still relating to it, are still observing the world which is being maintained by living beings. feeling great compassion and wishing for these beings to do the practices of compassion so that they will open to this Buddha's wisdom.

[31:12]

And this dharma body can emanate in such a way as to be an opportunity for people to make constructions And the way that it emanates so that beings can create constructions is called the transformation body. It allows itself to be transformed, something that makes sense to beings who are living in an enclosure, a cognitive enclosure, a world. The reality of the world is that it's not enclosing. and that it's not a world. The dharmakaya doesn't live in a world. It's called a realm, but it's totally non-closing and unelaborated. So that might be some questions.

[32:21]

Yes, do you want to come up? So, standpoint of my practice, what I'm hearing you say, my attempts to depersonalize, or my attempts to transform AB, the process of depersonalizing my AB, which is why giving is important. Yeah, so the process of depersonalizing A.V. is the process of not trying to get any depersonalization. And what arises then is the gift of the transformation body.

[33:32]

Yeah, if you practice giving, you will be able to see that you're being given the transformation body. which is the cycle of becoming a bodhisattva. Yes. So if you aspire to transform the storehouse consciousness into the dharmakaya, then you practice moving towards the storehouse consciousness, even though you don't know anything about it. And then another way to transform the storehouse consciousness is by practicing giving with the active consciousness, because when you practice giving, the active consciousness transforms the storehouse consciousness in the direction of more giving. But if you try to get the storehouse consciousness, you know, lined up with the Dharmakaya, that's a little, that's a little not very nice.

[34:39]

Are you tilting your head? Not nice means not compassionate. It's not compassionate to try to get people to be bodhisattvas. Give people to be bodhisattvas. Be bodhisattvas without trying to get anything out of the encouragement. Yes, please come. Do you want to clarify something about an air pot and a Bodhi sattva? My understanding is that for a voice, for a person, he or she needs to understand that there's no difference between oneself and others.

[35:46]

Yeah. Well, not so much there's no difference, there's no separation. No separation. Yeah. Like in a sense, you're different. I already, well, I guess, And the way we're not different would be good, too. But to understand the way we're not different isn't the same as saying there's no difference. It's just, there's certain ways there's no difference, but there's certain ways we're different. And the way that we're not different is the way we're not separate. Not different if we're both insubstantial. Excuse me, if you were in Erhat, and have that understanding that there is no separation between self and others, that you would feel the need for others as part of that process. I mean, if you don't see the difference between yourself and others, then how would you... You might.

[36:49]

I mean, you said it seems to you that you would, and I certainly think you might. It seems perfectly reasonable that you would. But... Why not? You certainly would be kind to them. I don't know of any examples of verified arhat unkindness. Never heard of arhat really clearly being unkind. I've heard of them being I've heard stories of some Arhats who seem sometimes acting in a way that you might wonder if it was kind. But I think that if you're an Arhat, you would be kind to all beings. And even people who are just heading towards Arhatship are practicing nonviolence. The people on the individual vehicle path, people who are on the path of Arhatship, Visual liberation. They practice non-violence. They don't want to harm anybody or anything. And that kind of practice does lead to realizing that you're not separate.

[37:52]

And when you really understand it, then it would be even easier to do those practices. So, it makes sense to me. But would they actually make the leap to, I wish to attain Buddhahood, So Arhats have not been thinking about realizing Buddhahood. They've been thinking about realizing a level of sagehood, which would be personal liberation. This liberated person, as long as they were alive, they would make this person. Of course, they would continue to practice nonviolence, non-harm, and compassion, and loving kindness. They would continue to do all these good things, which they've been doing all along, and they would do them even better now. But would they think, oh, I wish to be a Buddha? If they would, then they would have the mind which leads to becoming a bodhisattva if you take care of it. But would they make that, I want to be a Buddha thing for the welfare of beings? I just wonder how they could not.

[38:54]

Well, how is it that some people cannot? Causes and conditions. Just causes and conditions. Causes and conditions that come together for this mind to arise are when the arhat, if the arhat met the Buddha, we have all these stories of arhats meeting Buddha, all these historical stories, and you're saying, I don't see how they didn't come up with this bodhisattva ideal. I don't know how it happened, but you look at the stories, and when these people are meeting the Buddha, they say, they almost never say, I want to realize Buddha. They say, Buddha, I want to realize Buddha. There's very few stories like that. They just say, they just demonstrate that they've understood, and that they want to continue to be the Buddhist student, but they don't say, by the way, I'd like to be like you. There's They're beings, but they don't seem to say that.

[40:03]

And then at a certain point, people say, oh, we need to be like the Buddha, not just liberate a disciple, carrying on the Buddha's teaching, but we need to be a Buddha. And of course, we're not going to be a Buddha right away because this Buddha's like hauled this time cycle. This Buddha's already put it out there. But there's going to be a time when there's no dharma around, and somebody needs to come and be a Buddha. And I wish to devote my life to making that possible, that when we need a Buddha, In the meantime, I'm very happy to be with the Buddha, if I'm a contemporary, or be a disciple of a descendant of Buddha if I'm afterwards. And to realize the Buddha's teaching and to be liberated is great. And then based on that liberation, to be really effective at how I do it. But wishing to now devote my life to making a Buddha for another world, you know, when it needs it.

[41:10]

That might not occur to the person. They might feel like, I have enough work to do here. And they do. And they wouldn't think of becoming a Buddha in a personal term because they're enlightened. They're enlightened. But they have not sort of struck upon the idea, oh, we've got to join this huge vehicle to make Buddhas for other world systems even. And if you look again, look at the stories of the early students, they were wise, they were transformed, they were liberated, they were devoted students of the Buddha, and they don't seem to be talking about that they actually see the necessity of working to make a Buddha. And also the Buddha that I know of, in historical records, he would not predict some of these disciples and say, this disciple will be a Buddha with such and such a name. But he said that he was. So he told us that to be a Buddha you need to be predicted by a Buddha.

[42:15]

So then later in the Mahayana teachings they point out that in the process you need to meet Buddhas and get prediction. But the historical Buddha didn't predict any of his disciples to be Buddhas and give them the names and say the name of their Buddha land and stuff like that. But with him, he did receive that. So that level of aspiration, that particularity of making Buddhas... Maybe that wouldn't occur. Enlightened, compassionate, liberated, basically saint, disciple of Buddha. It might not occur that they'd do that. And you would need the causes and conditions to create that idea. Right. And one of the ideas might be that when in our heart the Buddha might say, by the way, sweetheart, you're going to be a Buddha and your name's going to be such and such. Oh, really? Wow. Okay, well then I guess I better start with doing the bodhisattva thing. Correct. But in Lotus Sutra, some of these arhats are bodhisattvas, and the Buddha told them they were bodhisattvas.

[43:23]

He said, you're going to be a Buddha. Before that, they weren't bodhisattvas. So, of course, if you told them they're going to be Buddhas, they'd now go from the arhat path to the bodhisattva path, and they're happy to, because the Buddha said, you're going to be Buddha, and your name's going to be such-and-such. So that's the causes and conditions of these advanced people then starting to be bodhisattvas. But some people who are not that advanced can also wish to be, like some of us. So you think, well, if I can have a communion with Buddha where the aspiration to be a bodhisattva arises, why wouldn't these much more advanced people in a way? I don't know how it works. Buddha knows I don't. You're welcome. Thank you for your question. Mark, but I think John's first. Do you still have a question?

[44:24]

What is the knowable versus the unknowable? Well, refers to all phenomena. And we don't know non-phenomena. And so, yeah, everything we know, he's describing the basis of everything we know. Like we know colors, sounds, smells, ideas, pain, pleasure. We know those things. Those are things we know. And you can also know my teachings. Care for presence? Knowable? Yeah. No. Everybody is experiencing knowable things every moment, but they're not necessarily practicing presence.

[45:34]

Of course, they're present, but they don't really know how to meet their experiences without outflows. Most people do not know how to, like, meet a color without some gaining idea. They have to be trained to have that kind of presence. How we are supported to experience the world? Well, actually, it doesn't say entry into the knowable. It says entry into the characteristics of the knowable. That's what it says here. Does that mean knowledge of the characteristics of the knowable? Yeah, it would also mean, well, you could say knowledge or understanding of the characteristics So this book first shows the foundation for the knowable. The AC, the active consciousness, is where we know things. A lie doesn't know things in the same way. It knows them in a very subtle way that living beings are not aware of in terms of active knowable.

[46:41]

So knowable in the sense of active knowable objects That's our ordinary life where we suffer and where we think and where we create karma. In that karmic realm, the things we know are what they refer to here. Now, that's the first chapter. What's the support of karmic consciousness? Well, it's this unstored-house consciousness. which is the results. The results of karmic consciousness are the support of karmic consciousness. And supportive consciousness, active karmic consciousness is constantly transforming its support. Okay? That's the first chapter. Second chapter, what are the characteristics of these things we know? There are three characteristics. Now, the third chapter is how do you enter into these three characteristics? In other words, how do you understand the nature of what you know? Namely, how do you understand that what you know is just a dependent core arising? How do you understand that what you know is a conscious construction?

[47:45]

And how do you understand that actually your conscious construction never touched the dependent core arising nature of what you know? If you understand those three, you understand reality and you become free of suffering. The next chapter explains the practices that lead to it and the practices that follow from it, and so on. But the knowledge of the Buddhas is the knowledge of the characteristics, the nature, the way the knowable is. I have the knowable, which is supported by our past karma. We all have karmic consciousness based on past karmic consciousness, based on the results of past karmic consciousness. We now have present past karmic consciousness, and our karmic consciousness knows things, and the support of those things is our past. Then we get teachings about what is the nature of the things we know. Well, they're just conscious constructions.

[48:48]

And that conscious constructions are based on something which isn't a conscious construction. And therefore, everything is free of conscious construction. And if we, with conscious construction in the proper way, we will realize that it's the way it is, and we'll become free of it. And then we can start really transforming the surplus consciousness into the Buddha body. Did you follow that? Oh, not entirely. But somewhat? It was somewhat. Yeah, it was permeating. Some of that has actually permeated. Well, the teaching says that all of it permeated. Yeah. Everything you heard permeated. And everything you didn't, didn't. Really? Yeah. Everything that didn't hurt did. So it was kind of a puzzling term to me, knowable, because it seemed to imply that there was an unknown.

[49:55]

But I think I'm understanding now that the knowable is how we experience the world. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's how we experience the world. Mm-hmm. And it's also how... There's some knowledge to me. Well, there is knowledge. And it might be up on top of your head there. I don't know. It's based on intellectual knowledge. It's partly intellectual because we're partly intellectual. Well, our intellect's based on our body. Because our intellect is based on the results of our past karma, which is based on our body. Window opening time.

[51:08]

So lots of questions came up today, and I've been having a discussion with myself back there. Thank you. I remember one time, I think we agreed that it would be a good idea for me to wish happiness for myself. And I was wondering about that in terms of giving without trying to get something. Because in that case, it seems to me like you could say I was giving myself a gift. Yeah, you can give yourself a gift. Same as giving a gift to somebody else. So with material things, I think I'm pretty clear on what that's like. But sometimes when I say, like, I want to give you happiness or give myself happiness, then how do I know whether or not I'm going to get that happiness versus receive it in a non-getting way?

[52:25]

It's easier to find out that you're trying to get something than to find out that you're not trying to get something. If you're trying to get something, you often will notice that you're frustrated when you don't get it. Which you're getting it rather than not receiving it. Right. If you would switch in midstream from trying to get it and then it comes and then it doesn't come and you realize you didn't receive it, you don't feel so bad. But anyway... If you wish something for yourself and you actually are thinking you want to get it by that wish, it doesn't come according to some schedule you set for it, and you notice you're frustrated, then probably there was some faultiness in your giving. I see. So I can measure it by noticing whether I'm upset about not getting... I can measure my attitude about receiving. I don't know about measure, but you can test it. And then if you become very, very happy, if you practice wishing yourself well and then you become very, very happy, and then even when people insult you, you get more happy and then wish them even better than you wished.

[53:40]

And then they get meaner and meaner to you and just keep wishing you more and more. Then probably you're not trying to get anything. until further notice when you start getting, you know, start pouting or something again. But basically, if we're trying to get something by our giving or trying to send any method for anything, that's an outflow and it causes suffering. And that's so the first Bodhisattva precept is to have no outflows around anything, including around our giving. Giving is the basic positive practice Based on presence, we start assembling wholesomeness by practicing giving. But we don't assume in our presence, we don't assume anything. We don't assume that we want that our presence be so strong and so clear that no one gets something that could slip into our giving practice.

[54:43]

We know that even though we're trying to practice presence, maybe there's some gap in our presence. And if there's a gap in our presence, some kind of gaining idea could come into our giving. But we probably get help and feedback from it by feeling, ooh, you know. Or anger towards somebody who we think had something to do with the blockage of this happiness that we were sending somebody. You could get angry about sending happiness to somebody else that you were trying to get, and they don't get it. But, you know, the story of Nagarjuna, right? The great Nagarjuna, he's... No, not Nagarjuna, Aryadeva. Aryadeva, Nagarjuna's great disciple, is being sent by Nagarjuna to go debate a powerful magician in North India. And Nagarjuna says, on your trip there, you will be asked to give something. And when you give it, you will receive it back.

[55:44]

Whatever you give, it will be given back to you. But if you regret it, you won't get it back. So he's asked to give his eye on the trip and to donate his eye to a blind beggar and says thanks. And then the beggar doesn't know how to implant it and smashes it and Nagarjuna regretted. So his giving was not pure. He regretted. And Aryadeva regretted. So then his name got changed from Aryadeva to Kanadeva. Kana means one eye. So he was, before he was a, he was a noble deity, and then he became a one-eyed deity. However, he did go and become this great, great teacher, but there was a faultiness in even this bodhisattva's giving, which he noticed quite quickly in that case. So, we can wish ourselves well,

[56:47]

just as a gift and not try to get it. And just wish away, you know, wholeheartedly. As a matter of fact, if you're not trying to get anything, your wishing will be more and more unobstructed. It'll be more and more pure. And being present helps us give and just like really give, period. You know, just like... That's it. And then the next one. And if there's some gap, we know from way back how to... So nobody has to teach us that. That can slip in there very easily when we're doing even good things. And so we do catch ourselves sometimes, oh, I was trying to get something, now I see. They threw away what I gave them. And that was really a nice thing, and they threw it away. Teaching, and they threw it in the garbage. I gave them the Bodhisattva precepts and then they didn't practice them. So when I play the role of the preceptor in the ceremony, I give people these Bodhisattva precepts and I don't expect them to... I just want... I say, please, you're doing great, that's wonderful that you're receiving them.

[57:58]

And I... present for what they do with it. And if they don't take care of them and I feel some lack of appreciation for them, then I feel like... I didn't really give it. I was trying to get them to practice them. Okay, what's the next question? Oh, it's interesting you said that because I was sitting here present with wondering whether I should ask Fred a question or if I might be trying to get something because I was very satisfied with the discussion so far. Yeah. Yeah. It's good that you were present with that question. I think I'm going to go for it. But not try it again. My further question is, my understanding is that sometimes it's also appropriate to not give something.

[59:02]

And so I was wondering, one way to think about that is that Say if I... A boundary. Excuse me? A boundary. Right, a boundary. Yeah, we talked about that. We need to learn that one of the things we give is boundaries. Right. Like, do not steal weed from the storehouse, Tenzo. So, in that case, it almost feels like I'm trying to maybe possess something. When you said a boundary? Yes. Am I offering this boundary without trying to get somebody not to go over it? That's one of the easiest examples. That's one of the great things about boundary giving is that the giver has a good chance to tell quite soon whether they're trying to get something by offering that because Real time, you know, you give it to the person and then they jump right over it again. They push it down.

[60:07]

So you can see right away sometimes if you really gave it, if you really give it, you're joyful about giving it. And if they throw it in the garbage, you're not joyful they throw it in the garbage because that's maybe not good for them, but you're still happy you gave it. You don't regret giving it. On the other hand, if you give it and then you regret giving, then you should regret giving because you're trying to get something. So boundaries are a good example of saying no. ... is a good example of a type of... That's why this first precept of presence is focusing on restraints. which are kind of like not, [...] not. But they're nots which are pointing to reality. And if you can practice these nots without trying to get anything from them, without attaching to them, then they're good opportunities. But it's hard for us to hit that present place with not and no.

[61:18]

But again, when you say to somebody, I want you to stay there, I don't want you to come any closer, and then they don't, then you can see, perhaps you might find out, that really was giving, because I really still feel good that I asked that, even though they're not doing it. And yet, in some sense, are you still saying, I'm not sharing, say, my... Say again? So, even though it's done in a giving, as a gift... I am sharing my space with you. This is my space I'm sharing it with. This is my space. Here it is. I'm sharing it with you. I'm letting you know what my space is. I'm letting you know this is not where you should be. I'm giving you that information that this person wants this space. I'm giving that to you and I'm also asking you to give me the gift of respecting this space. And maybe I can do all this and really be sincere. And then the person comes right into my space and then I have something else to say.

[62:27]

And is what I have to say then when they come into my space that I ask them not to come into, then do I give them another gift? Or do I get irritated with them? Right. And you might even run away, and that's your gift. I might run away. It's possible, yeah. But I look at myself, am I running away out of presence, from presence? Am I present, present, present? Is that running, running, running? And the answer might be, wow, yes, yes, yes. This is great. I think I'm going to go back and talk to that person. That was just wonderful. I just come back, and I decided, you know, no space, and then I run away from you. That's the situation he did with me. He said, I went to space and then I didn't, I came close and then he didn't, so I ran away from him. It's about, you know, this is all about intimacy.

[63:29]

And finding ways to realize our intimacy, to realize we're not separate. And space and boundaries are key ingredients in realizing the illusion of subject-object separation. So we have to be generous and playful with these boundaries. And in the process of learning how to be generous and playful, we find out that we're using boundaries to manipulate. And then we say, well, yeah, that's not giving. That's not the bodhisattva way. That's what I was doing. I'm going to try again. And some people think that it's difficult to set boundaries, because people, you know, tell them that they set boundaries, they're not being kind. So I'm kind of like, I'm trying to, you know, trying to encourage us to learn to set boundaries as an act of compassion, and see if we can find that compassionate, generous way.

[64:37]

Or present with being happy and ask my second question. Yes, yes, yes. So here comes a story. I would like to apply what you were just telling, where I tried to, somebody was just jumping right in my face, and I just got really angry. So, well, the story is my neighbor using all of the space And I felt really, and I was feeling really relaxed with it.

[65:46]

Like, just going there and asking him, please, you know, just put your, rip your paper, please, so we can all put our trash in there. And it felt kind and not, I didn't realize I was expecting him. I didn't actually do it. Because I kindly asked him, so I said, okay, natural thing. And his response was really surprising. How do you know it's my stuff? And then I got the box and said, because on all these boxes, it's your name. And I said, since you have it in your hand, just rip it yourself. I turned around and went away. And I was standing there in flames. On fire? And so my natural reaction would be, okay, I go up there, grab all my paper stuff and just throw it in front of his door.

[66:52]

That would be my impulse reaction. And I thought, okay, this will have a lot of consequences. Maybe I start a war now, and maybe I shouldn't. And so I talked to my friend about it, and he said, well, just go down there and tell him how you feel. And then the next day I went down there and I was like, you know, this really felt, I'm really hurt. He said, don't be weak, don't behave like a girl. So that was like the end of my, And I start yelling at him, you know. I didn't know what to do. And this story just comes back, and I try to find, okay, where was the pivot of, like, you know, turning... Situation where it's...

[68:04]

Sometimes I imagine the Zen master standing there, this guy saying, okay, just rip it yourself, and just, you know, kindly ripping it. But that wasn't in the realm of my, I wasn't able to, you know, just like, too much, this boundary. I wonder where this, what the, set the unboundary and sky step over it, and then it's like, what would be the next giving? I think you understand what the Zen Master would do. The Zen Master would go down to the trash bin and see the situation, and they'd be present, right? And then from that presence, a lot of things might happen. But the main thing that would happen would be that they would then, from that presence, they would practice giving.

[69:06]

And they would practice, they would be careful, and they would be patient. It might be somewhat uncomfortable for the Zen master, because they might want to put some trash in the trash bin, but there's no... So they might feel, oh, it's going to be so hard to get my stuff in there, it's going to be hard, you know. But they're patient with the difficulty of getting their stuff in it, or carrying their stuff to the dump by themselves rather than getting to put it. There could be some difficulty for them, which they practice compassion towards. That's what they would do, right, from the beginning. But they might also want to share their practice. They might say, oh, I think I could help this person. Whoever put this stuff in here, I think I could help them. So they might go to help. But they might not, they might just practice, you know, their bodhisattva trainings from their restraining some sense of gain or loss, you know, with the situation.

[70:14]

And from that restraining of sense of gain or loss, they would practice the bodhisattva. Which may not involve anybody else at that time. You might not go over to his house and say anything to him, but if you thought that you had some beneficial thing to give to him, that you thought would help him, you might go do something for him. You might think it would be helpful to invite him to join you or something. It's possible. But you wouldn't be trying to get him to come and help you, and you wouldn't be trying to get him to be more considerate of you. However, you definitely want him to be considered of all beings. You want him to learn. If you can see any way to teach him that, you would very much want to teach him that. But if you can't see any way to teach him, then the Buddha and the Bodhisattva would not try to teach him if they didn't think he was ready to learn. But you would still go ahead and practice giving with whatever...

[71:21]

in any way you could. And then if you did practice it, then what followed from that would be happiness. You would not be in control of the paper and you would not be... That's not your game. Your game is to mature beings by practicing, developing these practices. For his sake, you really care for him. And if he comes down and says, you know, blah, blah, blah, you know, you're cleaning up this mess that I made? You're such a wimp. He might come down there and just, he might give you, he might say, you know, come down, and he's saying, well, you didn't come up to give me anything, so I'm coming down to see if you will give me something. But he may not know he's asking. You may see, he doesn't really want a gift. Not yet.

[72:24]

So he's not ready. And then he might say, I came all the way down here to get some teaching from you and you're not giving it to me. So now he's starting to confess that he's coming for the teaching, you know. And you may do your work and he'll keep coming and eventually he'll come back and he'll beg so sincerely for the teaching that you feel he's ready. And you say, okay, okay, okay. I want you to, you know, I want you to, in the future, I want you to break up your stuff and make it take up less space. And you say, finally, you're giving me some teaching. Thank you. You say, I was always giving it to you, but you weren't ready. But you have to look in your heart and see what you're up to. Do you really love this guy? this guy who is talking in this room and not taking care of his waste stuff in an apparently considerate way.

[73:28]

Looks like he's not to most people probably. But do we really love this guy? Is he adorable to us? Are we devoted to him? If the answer is no, And we've got to work on ourselves. Don't go trying to help, you know, reform people that you don't love. You have to love them before you can save them from their unwholesomeness. So it's very simple. It's just hard. It's hard to love people when they're doing stuff like that, that seem kind of like almost inhuman to talk to you that way. But it gives you a great opportunity. Do I really love him? Do I really care for him? Or is he like an exception to my... And if he is, then I've got to go be kind to myself.

[74:41]

I've got a big hole in it. You know, I've got to go sit down and like, do I really mean this? Do I really want to help all beings? Do I really want to help really deluded, selfish people? Do I really want to? No, I don't. Look on this. Some people, they're just so horrible, I cannot look at them and wish them well, wish them to wake up. from the terrible thing that I see them doing. And the suffering they're causing themselves, I just, it's just, I tend, so I'm not able to be present. It's so intense, I can't be present with it. So I work at that some more. I try to practice compassion towards them and that, Kept slipping into looking down on him.

[75:44]

Yeah, I see. Yeah, that precept. Imagining him suffering, or that this situation is kind of like suffering to him, it always puts me out somewhere. Yeah, so that's one of our great precepts, is you're trying to help somebody, but you think you're a little bit better than them. So, yeah. That's why it's often nice to use grandchildren as examples. You know that they don't even know how to speak yet, and yet they tell you how to speak. They give you instruction on things they really aren't very well educated about, and yet it's possible not to look down on them, to really think they're just beautiful. They don't know how to speak English, but they're still beautiful. And they think they know how to speak it better than you. But they're still beautiful in their arrogance. They're still beautiful.

[76:45]

And therefore you can love them even no matter what they're doing. But when it's hard to do the same thing with an adult, it's more challenging. But just imagine how you can do it with some people. People can do it with some people. Like how a Sangha could, just imagine how a Sangha could get down there to lick the maggots off the wound. That's the kind of love that will show that the Buddha is right here. And then we'll get really excited. And there you are down in the garbage pit, you know, really lovingly there. And my trebuchet pops out of the garbage box. And says, no, he'll pop out of my neighbor's door. Yeah. But this is very hard, very hard, very hard.

[77:46]

So, but it's not that complicated. I mean, it's complicated, but it's simple what to do with the complications. Number one, cut off outflows. Just check, is there any gain or loss going on here? And if there is, then you practice confession and repentance of that, and then try again. Okay, let's hear this. Now let's try to practice giving, and let's try to practice ethics and patience, and so on. Oh my God, Timo's under the leg of this table. Just the right place. I had an offering for you.

[79:06]

Okay. Kind of giving back to you, something you had given to us in Pittsburgh. Oh, I see it. Many years ago. Come on. May I? Yes, why don't you face the assembly. He came home, read to us when he came to Pittsburgh a lot of years ago. So he'll indulge me. It's called To Paint the Portrait of a Bird by Jacques Grébert. First, paint a cage with an open door. Something pretty, something simple, something beautiful, something useful for the bird. Then place the canvas against a tree, in a garden, in a wood, or in a forest. Hide behind a tree without speaking, without moving. Something comes quickly. but she can just as well spend long years before deciding. Don't get discouraged.

[80:08]

Wait. Wait years if necessary. The swiftness or slowness of the coming of the bird, having no rapport with the success of the picture. When the bird comes, observe the most profound silence until the bird enters the cage. And when she has entered, Then close the door with the brush and paint out all the bars one by one, taking care not to touch any of the feathers of the bird. Then paint the portrait of the tree, choosing the branches for the bird. Paint also the green foliage and the wind freshness, the dusk of the sun, and the noise of insects and the summer heat. And then wait for the bird to decide to sing. If the bird doesn't sing, it's a bad sign. But if she sings, it's a good sign, a sign that you can sign. So then very gently, you pull out one of the feathers of the bird and you write your name in a corner of the picture.

[81:11]

Kelly, do you can sign it? Thank you. I also wanted to say, while I'm up here close to the mic, that usually I'm not here. Usually I'm back in Pittsburgh. These talks online is really a great gift. And you all weren't here listening. I'm sure they wouldn't be online. So I wanted to say thank you for that. And to the people back there. And that was a lot of years ago. And it has taken years to get here. And it really feels to me like a maturing of the practice. Because I know I liked Uncle Tenshin Roshi. But to come out here and meet the rest of the family, it's really amazing. And to turn to the sangha, it's so special. really beautiful beautiful thing I can't say I'm enjoying every minute of it but

[82:26]

I let her go first because I'm trying to get something. I'm trying to understand this right here. And to me, it looks like a cause and effect. Yes. That's what Asanga says at the beginning. He says, first we teach bodhisattvas the causation or dependent co-arising of defiled states of consciousness and the dependent co-arising of freedom. That's the first thing. So the first thing he teaches is how does karmic consciousness arise and how does the Buddha body arise. And they both arise in dependence. on alaya. That's what he teaches. So what I don't understand or what I'm having trouble with is the fully transformed alaya vishnayana.

[83:50]

Yes. So the alaya vishnayana contains all our past karma. It's not our past karma, it's the results of our past karma. It's not actually karma, it's the results of karma, which is tendencies for more karma and so on. our greed, hate, and delusion is beginningless. Right. So, to me, it seems like something more than just a feather to wipe it away. It seems like if it's beginningless, no amount of action in our active consciousness

[84:55]

is going to be able to fully transform something that is beginningless. Well, you could change beginningless into infinite, or you could just understand that beginningless means that beginnings and ends are conscious constructions. Because if you look at this process, it's hard to find a beginning. So it's like, it doesn't mean that alaya is infinite. It's not infinite. It just doesn't have a beginning. And the dharmakaya doesn't have a beginning. The dharmakaya is to understand that beginnings and ends are just elaborations of reality. So from that perspective, this whole process doesn't really have a beginning. Karma doesn't really have a beginning. It doesn't mean that by wiping a rock with a feather it won't be worn away. It will be worn away, actually.

[85:57]

And mountains can be moved. Santa Barbara was moved to Green Gulch. It took a long time. But if the practice is joyful, when you do it, it's joyful because working for the welfare of this immense rock, by stroking it with a feather without trying to get it anything. It's a joy-free practice. And trying to make the rock go away, to try to get it to go away, is our normal unhappy life. So that's one of the things it says in this text too. Bodhisattva says, to be in the world of suffering for a very long time, they're happy. And they need to be happy in order to be there a long time. But the beginning list just means that this whole process, the way it actually works, is free of conceptual construction.

[87:06]

And yet here's a conceptual construction trying to clarify how it is beyond conceptual construction. That this Dharma message is coming from beyond the system of existence. And yet it develops right alongside of it. Like we use the example of the lotus in muddy water. The lotus flower, you can't have a lotus flower without the mud. But the activity of the flower is in the activity of the roots. Or actually, in the activity of mud, because the roots are like compassion engaging the mud. So if we compassionately engage this muddy situation, compassion develops this wisdom body. But we need to hear instructions about how to be compassionate with all this mud, how to embrace it, how to put the roots down in the mud and be honest and gentle.

[88:18]

We hear this instruction and we hear this instruction and we try to practice it. And in this way we set the compassion deep into the delusion mud and grow this wisdom tree, this wisdom flower out of the delusion mud. me when we hear the teaching with confused consciousness, that it will lead us to misinterpret the teaching, which will be more like it will lead to the causes and conditions for us to misinterpret it in the future. That's right. And this teaching is also telling us that even if we understand it correctly in a sense, not actually the teaching, it's our conscious construction of it.

[89:24]

So even if we were to understand it correctly, we are quite humble about our understanding because we realize that our understanding is still based on conscious construction. And then if even we were at good understanding, we should be humble. Then perhaps if we have less than good understanding, we should be humble too. So what you're saying, that is definitely a possibility that that would happen. So we have to be really careful. And part of practicing presence is to be present for mistakes. So even when you're practically present, mistakes still occur. But then if you're present with the mistakes, then you have regret and embarrassment. And then you practice presence with that. And the process... Dharma wheel turns when we're present with our mistaken understandings.

[90:25]

They still have consequences. And one of the consequences they have is that if we aspire to not make those mistakes... If we aspire to practice those precepts and then we don't, the consequence is we feel regret. And if we're present with the regret because we weren't quite present enough before, then we become more and more present. So this is how the process works. And when you see it working, and when you see yourself working the working, you don't feel regret. You feel joy that you're following the precepts which you understand are the training of what you aspire to. And then when you're not following the precepts that you understand are the training of what you aspire to, the training in realizing it, then you feel regret and embarrassment. And you're going to feel those if you have this kind of aspiration. You're going to feel it. And that's actually part of the medicine.

[91:27]

So you feel good when you regret. You feel good when you feel regret. It's a painful good, but it's a compassionate pain because you feel the same for other people. It makes you feel compassionate regret that they're hurting themselves. And even when you actually understand correctly, what you're understanding correctly is that this is all conscious construction. And when you understand that correctly, when you enter that, then you give up that, too. Re-embrace that teaching, and now you practice the same practices again, but now with unobstructed, and you don't slip off anymore. And you keep going for, you know, not exactly endless time, but just until everybody's okay, happy, that you're happy to do that work. Okay?

[92:28]

I still don't get it. Fortunately, I wasn't trying to get you to get it. I have confidence in the permeation that was going on. Play with the board. Yes, you may. Play with the board. container consciousness.

[93:33]

Put it away. What are we going to do, the web deck for this thing here? Yeah, we spray some of this on there. Okay. That's all I saw. Yeah, thank you. Appropriating Consciousness. Yes. So, according to my... He wrote... What's AC again? Appropriating Consciousness. Okay, so... Well, AC is the app... No, no. No, I'm saying . Sorry. He's making a different meaning for AC. Okay. Okay. The way I understood chapter 2, you have the container consciousness, which is the alaya vijnana, which colors the way we see the world, colors the way

[94:46]

That works. That's this piece, as I'm understanding. And the appropriating consciousness is what, when the body dies, It appropriates the consciousness in all of the senses of the body. Before there is a new body, the appropriating consciousness imbibes into the senses of the new body the appropriate consciousness for whichever the six is going into. So, it seems to me, therefore, that it's possible that this, and it comes back to this infinity thing, that this isn't actually circular, but it's a figure eight.

[96:16]

that's going on for you. This body here is a lie and it has a lie of jnana which is transforming and being transformed by the active And then when this body dies, the container consciousness sort of drops away, but it's picked up by the appropriating consciousness. And then when a new body is arriving, the consciousness from the karmic consequences of the actions comes into a new realm and with a an appropriate consciousness of all the senses to be able to carry on with this.

[97:33]

This is a bit red. I don't know. That's what's happened recently. Okay, thank you. Thank you. And one other thing. Not Nagya Juna, but his disciple. I didn't know this story. He lost an eye. He gave it away. He gave it away. This is a Dakota story. The Dakota Nation. I learned this story when I was... It's called Jumping Maps. And it's about a story of the Dakota Nation, but I just realized another whole connotation to it. It's about a mouse that's really scared. I'm not going to tell the whole story, but it takes hours. And it's beautiful.

[98:37]

And it's misunderstood by its sangha. And it goes off to find out what's going on. And it meets a teacher, and the teacher is a frog. Okay, the reason why it's a teacher is because the frogs live in the water and in the air. The frog teaches, gives the mouse medicine by making it jump, or getting it to jump, and then when the mouse gets to the top of the jump, it sees a mountain, and that's the medicine. And eventually the mouse realised that in order to really realise the medicine, And on the journey to the mountain, in order to get to it, it has to give both its eyes. away and the first time he gives his eyes on the plains to a buffalo and the second time in the foothills to a wolf and then the wolf takes the mouse at the end of the story.

[99:42]

The end of the story is the wolf taking the mouse to the top of the mountain and describing this beautiful lake in which the whole of the sky is reflected. and then the mouse is left there quite happily. An eagle, which is what the mouse is really frightened of, comes down and and the searing pain in the mouse's back and suddenly light as the mouse is transformed into eagle and can see the whole world. The connection, the two stories, beautiful for me. Thank you very much. Anybody else care to offer anything?

[101:04]

Yes. Yes. I have a question about moments or this moment and about the transformative effect the active consciousness on the storehouse consciousness. And whether we could say that it may not take a long time to transform the storehouse consciousness. If this moment transforms the storehouse consciousness, Well, I mean, that's right. Every moment the Star House consciousness is transformed. You emphasize the quality of patience and emphasizing the long time that the transformation into the baby with a body becoming... becoming... well, the whole notion of becoming...

[102:25]

About this moment. Yes. I'm asking about the transformation of this moment and the time of this moment. Well, if in this moment we're completely present, then personal liberation can arise in this moment. And others? Others may not be able to join us because they may not be able to be totally present. Are others then an idea? Others are an idea, yes. That doesn't mean that you are just an idea to me. Or you to me. How can I love something that I don't?

[103:54]

Yeah, when you said like now, switch from like. Love. Love. It's not the same. I can love someone who I don't like. You know, pain, you have to love it to be a Bodhisattva. But anyway, whether you like or not, If you like someone, or like an apple, that doesn't mean you love it. Because being attached, when I say love, I mean... So if you could say, if you change your thing, if you say, how can you be compassionate to something that you're not feeling compassionate towards, I would say the same thing. Be compassionate towards something you can feel compassion towards. If you don't feel compassion for me, but you do feel compassion for Jill, then... Jill, and you will eventually be able to practice compassion to me.

[105:24]

If you feel compassion to the people you like, practice compassion to the people you like. If you don't feel compassion to the people you don't like, practice compassion towards the people you like, and practice compassion towards the people you like, and you'll finally be able to practice compassion to the people you don't like. Likes and dislikes do not necessarily hinder compassion. They're difficult. The likes and dislikes are challenges to compassion. If you're not into likes and dislikes, compassion is easier to practice. Still, you can go into the realm of likes and dislikes and still practice compassion, which is more advanced. But we wish to actually be able to practice compassion towards people that we're allergic to. towards people that are cruel to us, that are cruel to me. I have trouble being compassionate. I have trouble being really, really wholeheartedly devoted to them.

[106:28]

But if I can be wholeheartedly devoted to somebody else, the compassion will grow on that person, and eventually it will spread to the more difficult cases. Eliminate likes and dislikes. It's just that it's easier if you don't have any. But, you know, eventually you have to be able to be compassionate to things where dislike arises. But sometimes you can't. So then do it where you can. And it grows. it will grow by practicing it. We will eventually be able to be patient with things we are currently not patient with. The Buddha said, you know, I was not patient, I was not patient, but I kept practicing patience and finally with things I wasn't able to be patient with before. You make it sound like

[107:30]

I am doing this. I make a decision. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you don't believe me. Aren't you going to say, no, you're not? Yes. Anyway, it's true, I'm not sorry that I did that, because I didn't do that, because I don't think that way. I don't think I do anything. But I know I talk like I think that way. when you're listening to me. I know you interpret me that way, and I accept, and you're welcome to keep it that I'm talking that way. I have to interpret it the way I am.

[108:47]

I welcome you to do that. And I welcome you to blame me for it. Oh, I'm not blaming you. Well, you said, I talk in that way. You said, I do it that way, rather than you see it that way. Yeah, right. You see me that way, but actually I'm not that way. I just... It seems to me that... the way I am, then I'm not fulfilling some requirement. I'm not fulfilling the kindness if I'm just the way I am. For example, I'm not kind sometimes. When you're not kind, if you're gracious, and generous towards your unkindness, you're practicing kindness with your unkindness.

[109:53]

If I'm unkind, if I'm unkind, and I'm generous with my unkindness towards me, I'm still unkind to you, but I'm practicing kindness towards my own unkindness. And that is an example of where I couldn't be kind to you, but I could be kind to me, the unkind one. And if I can be kind to me, the unkind one, I will eventually be able to be kind to you too. And vice versa, some people are kind to others, but not to themselves. Well, just keep practicing kindness to others and it will gradually transfer itself to you. So if you're sometimes unkind, that is a great opportunity for kindness. other people are practicing towards you. Other beings are kind to you when you're not kind, and you're kind to other beings when they're not kind sometimes. And you can transfer gradually the kindness which you give to other unkind people, you can transfer to yourself. And then again, transfer that kindness that you're practicing towards your own shortcomings to other people's shortcomings until kindness spreads more and more.

[111:10]

and is, you know, able to meet the challenges with presence. Make a story. The only thing I would have got the box and hit it on a guy's head and break it on his own head. If he was home. No, no, when he was telling me that. Oh, I see. Oh, just break it and you say it. Yeah, but he might duck. No, I would fight him and break it. No, but he might be really skillful. You swing, but he moves out of the way. So he's a bodhisattva. He's not going to let you hurt him. You try, you try, but you can't get him. Just like Anjuli Mala tried to kill the Buddha, but he couldn't do it. I think you should say, you'll try to kill him.

[112:13]

No, I don't try to kill him. I just try to teach him a lesson. He asked me to break it. You'll try to teach him a lesson. And the way you'll try is by, you think, do that way, but he might not let you. He might be avoiding you. It's like some people are trying to teach you something, but you avoid them. They can't get you. laughter [...] And they never will. If you're great, you're great, you're great. You're welcome. Well, this might be our last class, so I just want to thank you very much for your great hearts and minds and bodies.

[113:19]

Or house consciousnesses. May our intention be with you, center every being at peace. We are true. We are true.

[113:42]

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