When I speak about practice, really I'm telling you pretty much what my understanding of practice. And my understanding of practice is influenced by my understanding of practitioners who have lived before me. So what I say about practice, I'm not saying that it is what ancestors have thought about practice. Like someone said to me, do you think your understanding of the Bodhisattva precepts is the same as Dogen's? And I think I said, you know, I don't know. I do have some, I have an understanding of what Dogen thought the Bodhisattva precepts are, but I understand that that's my understanding of what he thought the Bodhisattva precepts are.

[01:17]

And I also have some understanding of what I think, that what he thought the Bodhisattva precepts are not. But that doesn't mean that what I think Dogen thought is what he thought. But I do think he thought something. And what I think Shakyamuni Buddha thought, or what Shakyamuni Buddha understood, I don't think that that is for sure what he thought. And the same with Suzuki Roshi. If he were alive, I would have a lot of questions for him about his understanding of the practice. When he was around, I asked him a lot of questions, which was good. I'm glad I did.

[02:18]

But I didn't feel like, oh, I know what he thinks practice is. I don't really think I know what Dogen thinks it is. But, so I'm telling you that, and I'm in a lineage, you know, I'm in a lineage from these people. Is it an authentic lineage? I don't know. Would they say it was? I don't know. Am I concerned about that? Yes. But I do think about those people, for example, and many other ancestors. I do think about them. And I do think about what they taught. And I do tell you what I... what I think they were teaching. And my understanding of the practice and the Dharma has been evolving for quite a long time.

[03:30]

At first I... and I noticed that at some point. I noticed that how I was seeing things was changing, and I was a little embarrassed. So I thought, well, you know, if it's a changing then, what it was before, I kind of don't agree with anymore. Not exactly don't agree with, but anyway, see it differently. And this morning we chanted the Fukan Zazengi, which I translate as the ceremony or the universal or the general encouragements for the ceremony of Zazen. Some people just translate it as

[04:35]

universal encouragements for zazen. They don't even mention the last word in the title, gi, which means ceremony. Now, you could translate it as procedure. It's okay. But I think the main translation of that word gi is ceremony. And that character's on the cover of Being Upright. It's made of two characters, which are radicals, which are roots, which make the character. The character on the left is the character for person. The character on the right is the character for righteousness or meaning. You put righteousness together with person and you get ceremony. Or in ceremony, the person and the righteousness are in relationship.

[05:41]

So we chanted the universal encouragements for the ceremony of Zazen. And when I first started practicing Zazen, I didn't think of it as a ceremony. I thought of it as a training process which I understood many people for more than a thousand, for, anyway, for a long time have done this, this training process, this training exercise of sitting. And in the Fukon Zazengi it says, the Zazen, which is the sitting Zen, the sitting meditation that I teach, is not learning meditation.

[06:49]

And the term learning meditation is kind of a technical term. And it means the learning meditation meditation of the three types of learning. And the three types of learning are learning ethical, learning ethical discipline, learning concentration, and learning wisdom. Wisdom, I mean, excuse me, ethics, concentration, wisdom. Those are the three learnings that are often referred to in the Buddha Dhamma. Dogya says, the sitting meditation I'm talking about is not number two on that list. The Zazen I'm talking about is not one of the three learnings of Buddhism.

[07:57]

He didn't follow up saying, which I'm saying today, he didn't say. He did say the zazen I'm talking about is not learning meditation. It is all three of the learnings. The zazen I'm talking about is ethics, is concentration is wisdom. He didn't say that, but I think that's what he meant. When I first started practicing Zazen, I think I thought Zazen was number two, that it was a concentration practice. And I practiced it like a concentration practice. And concentration practice is part of Zazen.

[09:02]

Zazen is concentration practice and ethical practice and wisdom practice. It is concentration practice, but it's not just concentration practice. It's also wisdom practice and ethics practice. And again, for me now, and I think for Dogen, and I think for most Chinese, ancestors, the ethics, the precepts, were bodhisattva precepts. They also practiced the earlier kind of hinayana type of precepts, but the higher priority was the bodhisattva precepts. Again, when I first started practicing sattva, I practiced it as a concentration practice. That's what I thought it was. And I thought that the concentration practice was what the Zen people did, and that that was how you became a bodhisattva in this tradition, or that's how you matured as a bodhisattva in this tradition.

[10:15]

Gradually I realized that Zazen is all three. Now I think not only is it all three, but each of the three includes the other two. So the concentration practice, sometimes called meditation, includes the bodhisattva precepts and includes wisdom. The concentration practice is united with wisdom and ethics. Also, ethics includes the other two. It's ethics which includes concentration and wisdom, and the wisdom includes concentration and ethics.

[11:20]

Bodhisattva ethics. So that's an understanding which I carry in my consciousness and also in my body. Because when you think, when you have an understanding, it affects your body. And if you exercise an understanding a lot, your body becomes more and more influenced and transformed by your understanding. No matter what your understanding is, it's transforming your body If you misunderstand, that transforms your body. If you understand correctly, that transforms you. We are transformed by our current understanding of the Dharma. So I am transformed by the understanding that satsang is not just concentration. Now, again, it is, it does include concentration practice.

[12:27]

And Tsunekiroshi taught concentration practice. And most ancestors, most ancestors did teach concentration practice, but some taught it very little. They taught mostly wisdom some, and some taught mostly ethics. And I think all of them had different understandings. I can't say, and right now today, among the many teachers of Zen in America, I don't know how many of them have a similar understanding to me. I don't know how many of them think of the Zazen as all three of these learnings. And I'm not doing a survey. Also, although Dogen did not say in the book on Zazengyi, there's other places where it says Zazen is not one of the six paramitas.

[13:33]

You know the six paramitas? It's not one of the six basic bodhisattva training methods. It's not one of them. In particular, it's not number one. five, which has the same name as Zen. Number five is Zen at concentration. It's not the fifth perfection, even though the fifth perfection, Zen is not Zen of the six perfections. Zen is all six perfections. That's my understanding of Zen. Certainly of Dogen. And I would ask Guruji, is zazen the same as the six perfections? Does it include all six perfections? I would ask him that.

[14:35]

but zazen does include number five. So it's perfectly appropriate to wail away at concentration. And there's many concentration practices. There's a book called the Visuddhimagga, has 40 concentration topics. But there's more than 40. One of them is following your breath. I didn't hear the Buddha say, follow your breath, but I did hear the Buddha say, recommend something like a practice where the monk when breathing in is aware that they're breathing in and when they're breathing out they're aware that they're, you know, they're mindful that they're breathing out. That they're mindful when they lift their foot and they're mindful when they set it down and they're mindful when they're walking and so on.

[15:54]

I heard him say, yeah, that's the direct path to awakening is to be mindful of what you're doing and what you're thinking and what you're feeling. That's the direct path to awakening. I read that. Buddha said that. So... Yeah, so... And Sudgroshi did teach following the breath and counting the breath. But many other Zen teachers do not teach following the breath and counting the breath. Even though or even maybe because a lot of their students already knew how to do that practice and were doing it. But Sukhreshi did encourage it. But he also taught this thing called wholehearted sitting.

[17:01]

Just sitting. And I noticed after coming to Zen Center that some people were counting their breath, some people were following their breath, and some people were just sitting. And that's how they described their practice. And some people were doing all three. And some people would start a period of meditation counting, And if the counting went well, they would then move on to following. And if following went well, in other words, if they were able to be quite mindful of the counting and the following, then they would just sit. So there was a sense in the air at the early Zen center, early like late 60s,

[18:08]

a kind of a hierarchy. Counting and following was a little bit more subtle. And then there was just sitting, just wholehearted sitting. And some people were pretty proud that they were doing just sitting. And I don't know if Susie Greer, she picked up on this, but anyway, in the beginning of 1970, like in January, before the Tulsara practice period started in San Francisco, in our new practice place at 300 Page Street, he said, okay, let's all just counter, let's all counter our breath. And he also recommended counting the exhales. In other words, exhaling one, exhaling two, not counting both exhale and inhale.

[19:19]

But some people may teach one, two, three, four. Another possibility is count every third exhale and every fourth inhale. That would be, I never did that exercise, but that would be fun. You can do that today if you want. Anyway, he said, count the exhales, one to ten. And also, by the time I came to the Zen Center, he wasn't really getting into that anymore. He had other people doing it for him, like me. It's a lovely practice. especially if you do it in a compassionate way. But I think he wanted us all to be doing the same practice, so he said, let's all count our breaths. And so, yes, I went to Sahara and when I was sitting, I think I was, I was counting, I tried to be mindful of my exhales and count my breath.

[20:31]

He also taught kind of to visualize the breath, like to visualize it going out your nose, sort of in an arc in the air and ending. below the navel in the hara area and then entering the body on the inhale and coming up through the body and then on the exhale going out through the nose. He also taught that. So he did actually teach meditation on following the breath, visualizing the breath and counting the breath. And he also taught that counting your breath is just sitting.

[21:33]

When he said that, I was a little surprised. So we thought that there was counting, following, and just sitting. And he said, let's all just count it. But he also said, just sitting is counting your breath. And probably might have also said, it's following your breath. And it could have also been, it's not counting or following, it's just being wholehearted about sitting. And in that wholeheartedness, body and mind drop away. And in the dropping away, body and mind drop away, self and other drop away, And wisdom is realized. So in wholehearted sitting is wisdom. But wholehearted sitting is also the bodhisattva precepts.

[22:44]

In practicing the bodhisattva precepts, body and mind drop away. And we realize wisdom. So these three include each other and are included in each other. Just like the six perfections are included in each other and include each other. Wisdom includes The perfection of wisdom includes the perfection of giving. The perfection of giving includes the perfection of wisdom. There's an order that they're usually presented in, and there's a reason for that. And there's an order that the three learnings are presented, and there's a reason for that. But they are included in each other and include each other.

[23:49]

This mutual inclusion, I haven't seen so much articulated explicitly in the early teachings, in the early Sanskrit and Pali teachings. I haven't seen that. Once again, I have not seen the mutual inclusion of the three learnings in the earliest teachings, supposedly. But it's very much part of the Avatamsaka Sutra, the flower adornment scripture. It's very much a part of the Lotus Sutra. It's very much, for me, my understanding, it's very much a part of Soto Zen. Again, concentration is a vital part of our practice, but our practice is not just limited to concentration.

[25:01]

And concentration is practiced by many other traditions, and by traditions, many other understandings of Buddhism. and also non-Buddhist yogic traditions also have concentration practice. And their concentration practices are very similar to the Buddhist concentration practices. A lot of similarity. But big difference in understanding among Buddhist schools and big difference understanding among Buddhists. But our concentration practice is the way The way we practice following our breathing has a lot of similarity, even though some of us understand that the following of the breathing includes wisdom and ethics. And some other people don't have that understanding. But the way they're following their breaths is really quite similar. So once again, if I follow my breathing, I really would want my efforts to follow my breathing also be efforts in practicing wisdom and bodhisattva precepts.

[26:27]

I want it to be unified with all the other aspects of our practice. And again, it's possible to just sit and practice concentration. Practice concentration by just wholeheartedly sitting. That can be a concentration practice. Just wholeheartedly sitting can be a practice where you're letting go of your thinking. You're sitting and you have a body, you have a vast unconscious cognitive process, and you have a vast but relatively tiny self-consciousness. relative to unconscious cognition, rather confined but extremely important form of mental existence of awareness called self-consciousness or karmic consciousness.

[27:42]

We have these and practicing concentration means working with this consciousness the consciousness has thinking in it. And thinking is the overall activity of the consciousness. Consciousness arises with lots going on, and the overall pattern is called thinking, or in Sanskrit, chaitanya. It's the overall pattern of each moment is its thinking. Consciousness comes up, it has a pattern. Goes down, doesn't have a pattern. Comes up with another pattern. And the pattern and the consciousness come up together.

[28:45]

And in that consciousness there's a sense that there's some kind of appearance of a self, an I, a me, a mine. That stuff comes up with consciousness. I would say if you don't have that stuff coming up with consciousness, you don't have human consciousness. And the unconscious doesn't really have a sense of, I'm here, or this is mine. But the roots, the seeds, of that sense in consciousness is in the unconscious. And it's actually in the body. It's actually in cells. One of the definitions of self is that which a self, that a cell uses to tell what belongs to the self and what the cell and what doesn't. And cancer is a kind of a breakdown of that self.

[29:47]

break down that ability to tell between what belongs in here and what doesn't. It's in our body, a sense of dualism and self and other. And then it's in our nervous system, and then it's in our consciousness, a sense of self. And, yeah. And if we have time, I'd like to study that self that's in consciousness more deeply with you. But for now, I just want to say, that in consciousness we have thinking and there's a self in there. I mean, there's an appearance of a pattern and there's an appearance of a self. And letting go of what's going on in there calms the consciousness down. Or I should say, letting go of what's going on in there the whole conscious situation calms down, becomes more relaxed, more fluent, more playful.

[31:02]

Once again, consciousness, it has thinking, and letting go of the thinking, letting go of the whole pattern and all the subdivisions of the pattern, letting go of that, which is similar to not getting all worked up and involved in it, things calm down. For example, in consciousness, which of course many of you have seen, I've heard about thousands and thousands of times, people tell me, and I can see, the consciousness is distracted, the consciousness is agitated, letting go of this distraction does not mean trying to get rid of the distraction. Letting go of the agitation of the thinking does not mean getting rid of the agitation.

[32:07]

Trying to get rid of it creates more agitation. And again, it seems to me that a lot of Buddhists are teaching people to get rid of agitation. Maybe they don't. Maybe they're not. Maybe that's just what I think they're saying. They do say that. But they even say destroy the agitation. So I don't know what they really mean, but I don't say that. I don't say destroy agitation. I mean, I don't say it anymore. I used to say it. I'm sorry I did, but I did. Practice distraction. No, no, I'm not saying that anymore. Now I'm saying practice compassion with distraction. Practice compassion with it. Be kind to distraction and situation will calm down.

[33:09]

Just like being kind to a distracted child, things will calm down. Now people can't say, can't you sometimes just say, like Buddha said to one of an insane person who came to see him, he said, regain your presence of mind, sister. And she snapped out of her insanity. But that was his kindness, totally kind, not just trying to destroy her, just helping her snap out of it. So... My own experience is, if there's any agitation in the neighborhood, I practice compassion with it, and I start by being generous towards distraction. I've seen distraction in what might be called this consciousness, and when I practice generosity towards it, things start to relax and calm down. I've also met some other people who tell me that they're agitated and distracted.

[34:19]

And if I practice generosity with them and towards them, things calm down, usually quite quickly, like at that moment. I also want to practice ethics with distraction. Be careful of it. Don't lie about it. Don't try to kill it. Don't try to get some other... and so on. Be very careful of it and gentle with it and respectful of it and patient with it because distraction, agitation can be quite uncomfortable. And so on. Be diligent with it. And then with all that, now you're ready to let go of it. and relax with it. This is a concentration practice. This is a way to basically just let go of distraction and allow concentration to bloom.

[35:29]

Now, following the breathing might help being generous towards the distraction might help being careful with the distraction, might help being patient with the thinking. Following the breathing might help let go of the thinking, might help you be generous to the thinking, careful of the thinking, and so on. So, yeah, so following the breathing is one way to practice to let go of thinking. Some person might have just one thought in their mind, a very simple mind, but they just have one thought. And they hold on to it. And they'll be agitated. Somebody else might have a lot of thoughts, many, many.

[36:35]

and they're not attached to any of them. But they've got a lot going on and they're not attached to it. They're working with it. Like somebody who's, some of these people who can play the piano really skillfully, in every moment of their consciousness a lot is going on. And even more unconsciously. And there's no sticking there at all, you know. those things are coming up and they like go up, coming up and, you know. It's like tremendous activity and no clinging to anything. And so they can play the piano really smoothly, very playfully, in a very relaxed way. And they're dealing with so much, but they're not sticking to anything. And if they do stick to something, you can hear it. And it's a sad thing. So for me, it's not about, and also I've heard, and many of you have heard, they think meditation, Zen meditation, for example, is about emptying your mind.

[37:48]

For me, it's not about emptying, it's about being compassionate towards your mind. And if you're really wholeheartedly compassionate with your mind, you'll realize that your mind and all your thinking is emptiness. But it's not by getting all the stuff out of the mind and saying, emptiness. It's like being kind to everything in the mind and you realize that everything is emptiness. All phenomena are emptiness. And the bodhisattva of compassion realizes that all phenomena and all categories of phenomena are empty of own being. But not by trying to get rid of them. but by caring to them with the utmost kindness, the utmost generosity and so on. Then the door of emptiness, or I should say the door which blocks us from seeing emptiness, opens and the emptiness of all things which is always present is revealed, is discovered.

[39:03]

So again, for me, Concentration is not emptying the mind, it's embracing and caring for the mind and realizing that it's empty. But in order to realize that it's empty, I think most of us need some teachings about it along with the concentration. Okay, so that's a little development of the simple teaching in the Pukan Zazengi of the Zazen I teach, the sitting Zen I teach, is not just learning concentration. And once again, I'm saying that my understanding of Dogen is the Zazen I teach

[40:10]

is the sitting meditation I teach is sitting Buddha. Zen is Buddha. Zen is the Buddha way. And the Zen I'm teaching is the Buddha way. It's not a school of Buddhism. It's not just concentration. It's the whole Buddha way. So sitting Zen, Zazen, is sitting Buddha way. And in parentheses is the next, another thing in the Fukan Zazengi about think not thinking. But I'll talk about that another day.

[41:12]

For today, what time is it? Yeah. For now, I think that's enough to start with. What do you think? Is that enough to start with? So... So if people want to ask a question, they can, I guess, come up to the speaker like the other day. Did you want to ask a question? I have a lot of agitation in my mind. It seems the more I grow, grounding. So the more I feel at ease, the more seems to arise.

[42:19]

Maybe it's testing my capacity to settle. And my question has to do with wisdom arising out of this agitation, is it a knocking on the door of wisdom or is it a being knocked over by a wave of agitation? You want to know what I think? Of course. Yeah. So I think first of all, the agitation is knocking on the door of compassion. That's what it's first knocking on. I think agitation doesn't even know where the door to wisdom is because actually the door to wisdom is to knock on agitation. But it does know that it wants compassion.

[43:19]

So all the different types of agitation that we have, all of them... Yeah. Yeah. The hearing aids interfering? Well, my hearing aids on. Yeah? Hello? Hello? Hello? So that's what I think. I think the compassion, I think the agitation is knocking on the door, is stimulating wisdom, is saying, wisdom please come. It's calling for generosity and so on. And also I agree with you that on the bodhisattva path that we're on, when agitation comes, it's calling for compassion and it's also

[44:27]

a challenge to our compassion. And it helps our compassion grow. Like it comes and we go, oh, it's too much, and say, oh, please grow. Like patience, the root of the word patience etymologically is capacity. So agitation is challenging our patience to grow. to have a greater capacity. So you said that at the beginning. But that's what I think the compassion, the agitation is. It's basically calling for compassion. Or you could say knocking at the door of compassion. Okay? Can I ask one more follow-up? See that? Which is just the experience of this agitation is a feeling of like being invaded by like...

[45:31]

Energy, like I don't perceive it as my agitation. I perceive it as other than me, like a thought coming through me, but it's not really my thought. That's just how it is sometimes. Yeah, and so all invaders, are calling for compassion. Whether they're invaders inside or other people's thoughts are coming, those all other people's thoughts are calling for compassion. And when you feel invaded, that's your way of listening. You actually are listening, and also you are also calling for compassion. But this sense of invasion is something that's asking for compassion. Anything else this morning?

[46:44]

Yes. I like hearing you talk about Suzuki Roshi. Having never met him, I get that he, just hearing people talk about him, he was a very lighthearted and humorous fellow. I wouldn't say he was humorous. No? He thought we were funny. I almost never laughed at what he said. No? But he was laughing a lot at what he said. And he was laughing a lot at what he was thinking about. He was very entertained.

[47:45]

He laughed a lot during his talks, but I can't remember once thinking that he was funny. Anybody else think you actually laughed at him? I didn't see it. Not that he was overly serious, but he could pick up on how funny life was very easily and very often. Especially when he was giving talks. Yeah, that's what my question's around. Would you mind telling us a specific story or instance where he found something really humorous? He found something really humorous? Yeah, really interesting, just in the way that y'all practice. Yeah, right, right. Thank you so much for that. There's one that I just really... There's one I have really trouble with. So, I have more than one. Anyway, so one day, he called Master Ma Basso. Master Ma Basso was walking along with Hakujo, his student.

[48:52]

And some wild geese flew over. And Matsu said, What's that? And Hakajo said, geese. He said, where are they going? And Hakajo said, they're flying away. And Mansu reached up and twisted Hakajo's Noah's heart. And Subrahmanyu just burst in. Every time he told that story, he really thought it was funny. Over. Okay, turn it back on and see if I turn my... Is it on? Okay. So anyway, every time he told that story, he laughed, you know? See what I mean?

[49:53]

He saw a lot of stuff as funny that we sometimes didn't. But we could see him laughing. And then he also told a story, which I've told over many times, where he didn't think it was funny and just many years later saw that it was funny. And that was a story about during Sesshin, the teacher in the Sesshin said that a tori, which is a sparrow, landed on a torii gate, and the torii gate broke. And all the monks out there, none of them got the joke. So anyway, I think Sekiroshi had a very active sense of humor. He saw humor a lot of places in a lot of things. And I think we often couldn't quite catch up with him on that. He got the joke quite frequently. I think he got the joke of irony a lot.

[50:57]

How ironic we humans are. How ironic it is that somebody twists somebody's nose who he loves so much. Anything else this morning? Yes, please come up. All right, it sound good? Okay. How does one become more compassionate with their thoughts and what does compassion towards one's thoughts look like? Well, so, if you have a thought and you practice and you welcome the thought, you have just

[52:05]

responded in a compassionate way. If you have a thought and you look at it kindly, you have just developed compassion. If you have a thought and you're gentle with it and careful with it and respectful of it, compassion has just bloomed. If you have a thought and you're patient with it, compassion has just come alive. and so on. If you're diligent with it, if you're calm with it, all these practices are compassion, are forms of compassion, and in that way the compassion is developed and grows and grows and grows and leads to more compassion. So compassion is the cause of compassion and the effect of compassion. I was going to also ask if it's possible to... Settling down right now, right here, and also trying to change.

[53:19]

Is it possible to... try to change and become more compassionate with one's thoughts while also trying to settle down right here, right now with the current level of compassion, you know? So again, compassion is listening and observing. with generosity and so on. When it sees suffering, it does not try to change that suffering. It tries to liberate it. And it wants to relate to it in a way that's liberating. It wants to have a liberating way of relating to it and listening to it and observing it and so on.

[54:21]

So the normal thing, usually when we're suffering, we're trying to either hold on to or get rid of. So now at compassion it sees beings that are holding on to and trying to get rid of. And it doesn't try to get rid of the people who are trying to get rid of or hold on to the people who are holding on to or vice versa. It just completely embraces them with generosity and carefulness and patience and so on. And yeah, so people who are trying to change themselves into being more compassionate, are calling out for compassion. But compassion doesn't try to change the people who are trying to change themselves. It shows them how to be themselves more completely, which will be the liberation of the being. So rather than change people into other people, compassion is about liberating the people we've got.

[55:28]

and then they're gone, and then they liberate the next people, rather than change Phu into Julian, and Julian into Jackie, or someplace in between. We're not trying to manipulate people. We're trying to embrace them so that they can learn how to be free. That's compassion's job. That's compassion's function. Anything else this morning? Linda? Linda, could you please close the door? I opened the other one. She has a mask on.

[56:47]

Yes, Linda. Yes. The second case of the Book of Serenity where our ancestor, Hanya Tara, Prajna Tara... Number three, by the way. Number three. Not number two. Number three. Number two is Bodhidharma. Excuse me. Number three. gives a kind of zazen instruction, this poor wayfarer does not get involved, dwell in body and mind while breathing in, does not get involved in the myriad things while breathing out. I always reiterate this. Yeah, thank you. I've been trying to put that, to kind of include that or weave that in with what you've been talking about, wholehearted sitting and the ceremony of Zazen.

[57:48]

And in practicing with does not get involved in body and mind or the skandhas or what I've found happens sometimes in practicing that is this kind of focus of where the breath is going in and out of the nose, which seems like an early Buddhist practice of kind of concentrating on your nostrils where the breath is. And it seemed to me like that wasn't really what the teaching was to concentrate on your nose, but that seems to keep happening as I practiced with that, and I was... You've heard the teaching about focusing on your nose? Yeah, and without dwelling inside or outside... I've noticed that it's like stays right, it's kind of right at the nose.

[58:49]

And I thought, well, that's not really the... Yeah. Well, not getting into that right now, but just saying when I hear... Prajnathara's way of practicing and he says, this poor wayfarer when breathing in doesn't dwell actually in the five skandhas and breathing out does not dwell in the 18 elements. That's a technical way of saying this poor wayfarer when breathing out does not dwell in body and mind. And breathing in does not dwell on body and mind. So that's basically saying it does not dwell on thinking. So when I'm breathing in, I don't dwell on my thinking. When I'm breathing out, I don't dwell on my thinking. And if I have a feeling around my nose, I don't dwell on that feeling around my nose.

[59:50]

So I don't feel like he was saying we should focus on the breathing. He just said that when I'm breathing, as I'm breathing, I don't dwell on my thinking. But it's put in that agadharma way of talking about thinking. Thinking can be analyzed into five skandhas, into 18 dhatus, or into 12 ayatanas. And if we run into a situation where we feel somehow spontaneously focused at the nose, then when breathing in, don't dwell on that sensation, and when breathing out, don't dwell on it. Not so much focus on that, but focus on not letting go of that. Thank you so much. You're so welcome. Thank you for that great teaching. Yes. Yes. Good morning.

[61:02]

I have a question about what compassion looks like or can manifest as. Excuse me. Henning also said, what does it look like? It really is invisible. So if I say, it doesn't look like giving because giving is not also something you can see. But people want to know what it looks like. And they actually sometimes think they can see it. Okay, fine. But anyway, it is these first five perfections. That's what it is. But what does generosity look like? What does it look like to welcome somebody? It's really invisible, and yet you can actually experience it. You do welcome somebody. Right. you kind of know what that is. You know when you really do feel, thank you.

[62:06]

That's compassion. Go ahead. So sometimes when I'm sitting and I find my, you know, I suddenly realize that my mind is all over the place. Yes. And so I'll be like, okay, Marie, you know. Come back. But sometimes... Excuse me, I just want to point out, I notice my mind's all over the place. That's one thing. That's calling for compassion. then you say, OK, Maria, come back. That's another thing, calling for compassion. It's not like they're both calling for compassion. And the mind all over the place, it's not really compassion. It's calling for compassion. Actually, it is compassion. But anyway, it's definitely calling for compassion. And OK, Maria, come back is also calling for compassion. So the thing is, when the mind's all over the place, compassion. when the mind goes, okay, Marie, come back, compassion. It's not that the okay, Marie, come back is the compassion and the mind all over the place isn't.

[63:13]

They're both calling for compassion. Okay. So... But sometimes my response to that is something like, oh, come on, get it together. Yeah, well, that's enough. I've got three. Okay. Got the mind all over the place. Compassion. Okay, Marie, come back. Compassion. And then something kind of nasty, compassion. So those are three successive moments of consciousness. All three are calling for compassion. What we need to learn is not miss a beat. First one, mind over the place, welcome! Okay, Marie, get it together in a kind way. Welcome. Okay, Marie, you're done for. Welcome. So no matter what comes up or no matter who shows up, we're trying to learn to not fall off the boat of compassion. And as I often quote, the boat of compassion is not rowed over pure waters.

[64:17]

It's rowed over rough waters. And if you can... When this wave hits, you can say, welcome wave. Great. And then when that one hits and you don't, well, you just kind of fell off the boat. But it's hard on that boat. I was compassionate with him. I was compassionate with her. And I forgot to do it with her. But all beings want compassion. And when we realize that, we realize that all beings are actually listening with compassion. Thank you. You're welcome. North. North. And was it Tim or did you, Julian? Yes. So the Buddha, at least as I've kind of understood it, it talks about letting go of attachment.

[65:30]

When my karmic mind is self-conscious, my self-conscious karmic mind seems like it's got involved in some attachments. And when it's calm, occasionally, very occasionally, it seems like it's less involved in those attachments. That's what it seems like. I think that's the source of some ongoing doubt for me in a way. Doubt. And I just want to say that also earlier when you said something like, I don't know if this is the authentic lineage or I don't know if, you know, I laughed because it was, it felt like it was free from all that. To me, it felt like that was, that spoke to my heart. Just like not knowing, but it is the knowing. That's what it felt. And that knowing is not knowing. I just want to make that offering and there it is.

[66:36]

Thank you for your offering. Did you have any question? No. No. It's an offering. What you said reminded me of the difference between developing tranquility calming and being calm. When you are calm, at that moment, you have kind of let go of your attachments for the moment. Yes. If you're still holding on to something, you're a little bit distracted. So when you are calm, you actually have temporarily let go of your thinking. However, you can be doing the exercise of letting go of your thinking, but not yet let go of your thinking. But you're in the process of learning concentration.

[67:38]

You're learning at letting go of your attachments. But that doesn't mean you're immediately tranquil. But by diligently applying ourselves to letting go of our discursive thought, our thinking, our attachments, we become calm. Once you're calm, at that moment of calm, you have temporarily let go of your attachments. So now you're ready to study. Because you can study things without holding on to them. I look forward to discussing this more with you because it's important, it seems like. I'm not sure I understand it fully. I'm not sure. I'm not sure I do either, but I'm happy to study it. Me too. Yes, Julian. Want me to help you?

[68:52]

Do you want me to help you? Do you want me to help you? A Dharma brother of mine who sometimes practiced down south sent me a koan whose source I don't know, which was about a Chinese method of running rapids on rivers. A Chinese method of... running rapids on rivers where the boatman would release a wooden goose and watch its path down the river and follow that. And it occurred to me that possibly the wooden goose represents compassion and that this is...

[70:00]

we should watch it and perhaps attempt to follow its path, and that will get us through our difficulties. Okay. And I do not have a question, that was just a thought. Oh, I have a question. Oh. I don't remember the koan, no. I wasn't going to ask you that. I was going to say, do you want to hear what the source is? Oh, please. It's Case 41 of the Book of Serenity. And it's what Lu Pu is saying just before he dies. The name of the case is Lu Pu is about to die. And what you're referring to was what Lu Pu said just before he died. And what he said is that it's useless to put out a wooden duck when you're in precipitous straits. So that method of, it wasn't, it's not a method of Zen people, it's a method of some book people, is to put out the duck so you can see how the, how the rapids are going.

[71:19]

But in our business, It's a waste to put something out in front to get a feeling for what to do. Hmm, okay. That's what Lupu said. Lupu said, when you're in really rough water, it's a waste, it's fruitless to put out the wooden duck. That's his message as he's about to die. He's about to go through the strains. and he's not going to put a duck out in front. And then he says, the boat of compassion is not rowed over smooth water. That part is certainly true. And I can see how when you're dying, the duck or goose would be of very little use. But when you're not dying, possibly it does have some...

[72:21]

we are not yet imminently dying, since we're all dying, it might have some use for other straits. Luke was talking about a place for practicing compassion. And there may be another place besides that, but he's talking about where we practice compassion. The water is rough. And he's not talking about finding the easy way through. That's not what he's looking for. I'm just telling you what it says in the book. The book disagrees with the interpretation. Okay, so you may think that, you may disagree with Lupu, but that's what Lupu said. And, yeah, and Lupu is, I think Lupu is teaching what he's teaching as he's dying of what he was teaching his whole life. Compassion is not trying to find the easy way through.

[73:29]

It's dealing with the water we've got. Well, with some rapids, it's not the easy way through. It's finding the only way through. It's not the only way through. You can go that way or that way. Get your head over there. There's lots of possibilities. But what are you trying to do here? Are you trying to go the easier way? And the previous discussion was about how hard it was, you know. He was talking to, this is a culmination of his conversation with somebody. You know, read the poem. It's about a real, they're having a really hard conversation. And Lu Pu says, before that poem, Lu Pu says, it's tough, it's tough. And then he says, putting out the duck in this tough situation.

[74:31]

I think the monkey he was talking to was trying to put the duck out. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for bringing up a little poo about to die. I see. So I see Sam and what's your name again? Louder. Louder. Luna, Sam, Luna, and Linda. Can I touch this? I was hoping for some encouragement with food practice. Food? That's kind of a... more rapid water. That's rapid water for you?

[75:32]

Yeah. I might be looking for a duck, but I could use it. Well, let's start with, can you say, welcome to the rapid water? Can you say it? I can say it in my head. And when you say it, do you feel like, yeah, I meant that? In this moment, I didn't really. When I just said it, occasionally. I was hoping for something a little more practical. For me, I was giving you something that I thought was practical. Oh, was that practical? Apologies. When I'm meeting a tough situation, I say, welcome. And like you, sometimes I think, did I mean that?

[76:35]

And I might think, not really. So what do I do? I say it again. Did you mean it that time? Not quite. Say it again. Did you mean it that time? A little more. Say it again. Did you mean it that time? I kind of did mean it. So, yeah, I think the more you... try to practice generosity and check out, was that pretty good? And no, then you confess and repent and try again. But if you don't try to practice generosity, you're not going to get too good at it. And if you can be generous with the rough water, that's one big step. You know, it's a great practice being generous with rough water. But the path to generosity, to the fullness of it, is by going through many moments of stinginess, of like, well, I don't really welcome it.

[77:39]

I don't really want this. I'm really trying to get rid of this. I'm trying to get rid of this rough water. Okay, fine. Can you welcome that? Can you say welcome? And if you say welcome, that's a test to see, did you feel it? Was it coming from your whole body? it is possible to say that over and over and finally feel like, hey, my whole body meant it that time. That doesn't mean it's true, but that's what you felt. And that would encourage you to do that again because when your whole body welcomes things, you're very joyful and you're ready to take on the next practice, which is be careful of the rough water. You know, respect it. Honor it. Be very conscientious with it. And then again, until you really are that way, try until you really are. And then move on to develop the capacity for it.

[78:41]

And at first, our capacity is a certain size. And by noticing how big it is, and then maybe it's big enough for the current moment, Maybe not. If it's not, say, well, my compassion in this moment, in the form of patience in this moment, is not quite capacious enough, have enough capacity to deal with this. And I'm sorry, I'm going to try again to have the capacity for this later. Right now I can't do it. So these practices... are for rough water. These practices are done in the boat of compassion in rough water. And the first one is, can you allow this rough water to be here? If you can, it's just going to... The more I don't allow the rough water, the more I'm pushed around by it. The more I allow it, the more calm I'm going to be with it. And then again and again and again, calming down,

[79:48]

even before I get to concentration practices, I can become quite calm by generosity practice with rough water and a boat of compassion. So some welcoming-ness with like a greed sensation, like, oh, cocoa rice coming. I got a big first bowl. Today I ended up with it to the top. I'm like, uh-oh, right after I got all of it, I guess. And then I just... Well, welcoming the cocoa rice and welcoming feeling greedy, and welcoming feeling greedy, then you can learn from greed. You can wake up with greed if you welcome it. If I don't welcome it, then I'm just pushed around by the greed. Fully welcoming greed, being really careful with it and patient with it, then you can calm down with it and understand. through the greed.

[80:50]

Appreciate it, Roshi. You're welcome. Thank you for the question. And I think the next was, yeah, Luna. you used the words agitation and distraction, and you said... I used the word... Agitation and distraction. Yes. And you said that you don't teach the destruction of them, but the acceptance and compassion towards them. And that sometimes other teachers do teach that you should destroy. Yeah. Those things. I'm wondering... Maybe they're just kidding, but they do say that. Like, destroying. Good luck. They tell people to do stuff so that they'll fail, you know. Yeah.

[81:55]

I wonder what your understanding of what the ancients had to say about new relationships with agitation and distraction Well, again, that sutra I was talking about earlier where the Buddha says, when breathing in, the monk is aware that she's breathing in. And she's aware when she's breathing out. And when she's standing, she's aware she's standing. And when she's sitting, she's aware she's sitting. In that same sutra, it says, there's a section in which when the monk is agitated, they're aware that they're agitated. When they're distracted, they're aware that they're agitated. It doesn't say that when they're aware they're agitated, they try to destroy the agitation in that sutra. It says when they're agitated, they're aware. When they're greedy, they're aware. When they're angry, they're aware. It doesn't say get rid of the anger or get rid of the greed. It says, talking about mindfulness, to be present and ardent about being attentive to what's going on.

[83:00]

That's what the Buddha taught in that sutra about what to deal with a lot of stuff, including distraction and agitation. And then at the beginning and the end, the Buddha says, this is the direct path to nirvana, is to be mindful of the agitation. Now, some always say, well, I can't be mindful of the agitation because I'm too agitated. Yeah. Yeah. Well, actually, you are mindful of your agitation. And you're also mindful of telling me that you can't be mindful. You were mindful there. And you can be more mindful. But it doesn't mean that when you're mindful, you can't say, I'm too agitated to be mindful. You can be mindful no matter what's going on. like a great actor, you know, like playing the part of a distracted person because they're really aware of what it is to be distracted. But they're completely calm while they're pretending to be agitated because they practice mindfulness of agitation.

[84:09]

So, yeah, I'm not into destroying agitation. I would be into riding it with generosity and mindfulness and so on. And if I wish the agitation will never come back, I want to be mindful of that. Yes? First, I want to ask something about our mask. I see some people in the room don't have a mask on. That's okay? Yeah, it's optional. That's optional. I thought I remembered Timo's message saying that mask while asking a question was also optional. Is that wrong? Okay, so we have to keep the mask on while asking a question.

[85:18]

I ask that because I have a much harder time hearing what people are saying when they have a mask on. Okay. Timo is not in the room, right? Huh? Yeah. So I think when we're chanting, we're going to wear masks. But when we're at the mics asking a question, that's not actually my question. It's just that I'm... We'll ask the Health and Safety Committee about this one, whether if... When we're chanting, we're wearing masks. The question is, when we're in front of the microphone asking a question, do we need to have our mask on? Yes, that's what he said yesterday. He sent out an email that said, if you're asking a question, the door needs to be open, and you need to be wearing a mask. At least that's what I recall. Other people remember that? Some other people do remember that.

[86:20]

Okay, thank you. So I guess you keep your mask on. No, you're supposed to come. Excuse me. I have this email. Yes. He says, mask optional when questioning at microphone. Yeah. Yeah. How infancy it. Not supported without that story. But with that book, so I can listen to it. So talking, talking at me? Okay, so Tracy just talked without a mask, asking if we need to wear a mask when we're listening. You do not have to wear a mask when you're listening. When you're listening, you're supposed to come to your ears. But all of you up in that area over there, if you speak, you should have your mask on.

[87:34]

And really, we don't want you to be yelling from your seat. That's why I want you to come up here. So even with a mask on, we don't really want you to be yelling. loud enough to be heard. But at the mic, when you can talk not so loud, you can take your mask off. This is already a great happiness. So I can hear other people way better when I can see their face. Now to the question. I'd like you to check my understanding of this. somebody said as if it were a choice between extending compassion to your difficult states, agitation or whatever it may be, or settling.

[88:36]

He said, is it better to, I hope I heard it right, is it better to just settle or to work on getting more compassion for your agitation? If that was the question, my answer, this is what I'm asking you to check, was it's exactly the same thing because we're not trying to get more compassion. the person who is running around grasping and driven, we see that person suffering with that drivenness and compassion arises for that person. And that is settling. That is exactly settling into what is happening. That's what I thought. Now you can say compassion arises, that's fine.

[89:46]

But the compassion that arises for that person is the arising of being intimate with that person. Yeah. It's the arising of being settled with that person. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. Now you put your mask, optional, put your mask back on now. Optional. Compassion is intimacy with suffering. Intimacy with suffering liberates suffering. And I'm not in control of intimacy. But when I say compassion is intimacy with suffering, that transforms my body and mind when I say that. And when I think that, it transforms my body and mind.

[90:47]

And when you listen to that, it transforms your body and mind. And I would say it promotes intimacy, to say that intimacy is compassion, and compassion is intimacy with suffering. That promotes it, and it's hard to be intimate with suffering. It's hard to really welcome it. It's hard to really have the capacity for it. But some of us are vowing to do that, right? And vowing to do it really helps the practice of intimacy with suffering. The Great Assembly seems quite quiet.

[91:48]

Is it quiet for now? Yes. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Welcome, step by step. I'm not sure I can put what I'm wanting to put together, but I'm going to try. So the first class, you said something about hit right now. The characters had something to do with hit. And I got stuck on hit. And I kept coming back as it seemed like a finale or a destruction or some kind of aggression of some sort. And then the goose on the water brought back an experience I had of being on rough water in a kayak and trying to get ready for what was coming.

[92:50]

And having been told by the instructor, don't do that. You have to hit the wave that's there or you're going to go in. So don't look for what's coming. So there was this amazing body learning right now, hit what's right now. And I thought, oh, these two things came together today, just now. Perfect. And what do you think? I think... Yeah. So her kayaking instructor was in the same boat as Lu Pu. And it's natural for us to look a little ahead rather than good old here. I want to get somewhere rather than And that character, by the way, is straight down. Right here. Straight down.

[93:52]

Straight down. And receive it. Or straight down. Straight down. Settle down. Or straight down. Straight down. Receive awakening. Got to be right here, not a little ahead. But we're built to be a little ahead. Our nervous system's about being a little ahead. I often tell a story about my oldest grandson. When he was a little guy, he said, you know what would be really fun? He's ahead. He's not here like, he's saying to me, you know, it would really be fun. And I'm thinking, yeah, being here with you. He's not like, being here with you, granddaddy, is really fun. Sometimes he was.

[94:55]

Sometimes he would just sit in there with me and he'd say, I love you. But this time he was like, you know what would be really fun? What? He said, you take all my animals and take them down in the basement and put them in a tub and fill it with water. That would be fun. He was ahead of being upstairs with me in that room right here. But I don't say, no, no, let's stay here and let's find it right here. I go with him. I go with him. And we get down there, and so I put all the animals in the tub, and I start filling the water, and he thinks of something else that would be really fun. Before I finish putting the water in, I don't say, well, wait a minute, I thought we were doing this. I don't say that.

[95:56]

I go with him. But there's a little kid in us that's always like the next thing and that gets our muscles and stuff developed. Gets us to move because there's something over there that's really interesting. There's something over there. The kid who does straight down, settle, the muscles wouldn't develop. So it's part of our growth process. We have deep habits of something else would be really great rather than just straight down, subtle, straight down. And again, straight down is also translated as right now and also translated as immediately. Receive. Awakening. Every moment, just be immediate. That's part of our training here. Yes.

[97:09]

And what is your name? Brian. I was wondering, as far as showing compassion for myself in reflecting in my life on unskillful things I've said or done, I've been successful in being able to just kind of push it out, like stop that thought. But I feel like they always keep returning or just like piles up. And so I'm just curious your thoughts on that. In the chat we did at the beginning, It says, by revealing and disclosing our lack of faith and practice before the Buddhas, And it talks about the power of confession and repentance. So to confess these things and also to feel any regret or sorrow you have about them before the Buddha is the pure and simple color of true practice.

[98:21]

That just acknowledging these things and feeling any sorrow you have about them is compassion practice. To acknowledge them and punch yourself in the face, That's not compassion practice. But if you feel sorrow about unskillful things that you've been part of, then following your confession, that's the pure and simple color of true practice. And that process melts away the roots of this unskillfulness. That's what's being said here. That's a compassion practice. Everyone wants us to do that. Everyone wants us to own and acknowledge and avow our unskillfulness. And they would like us to be so sorry about it. If we are, it's a kindness to everyone. And it has this tremendous power.

[99:24]

to melt the root of veering into unskillfulness. It's not trying to stop the unskillfulness. It's kindly acknowledging it and feeling appropriately embarrassed. That's it. That's a moment of compassion. And these things will keep coming back until they get what they're calling for. They're calling for compassion in the form... They're not calling for compassion in the form of, oh, that wasn't a problem. No, no, you know, don't worry. I did a terrible thing. No, that's okay. No, I'm not calling for that. They're calling for listening. And, oh, you did that? Yes, okay. I'm not okay. I hear you. And how do you feel? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I even sometimes recommend to people who are doing confession and repentance, if you can't meet with a teacher or if you don't have a Buddha statue right nearby or whatever, or a Bodhisattva statue, or a Buddha or a Bodhisattva, you want to reveal this in the presence of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.

[100:40]

So I sometimes say, you can say, oh bodhisattva mahasattvas, please listen to me. I, Tenjin Zenki, was unkind to so-and-so yesterday and I'm sorry. This is the pure and simple color of true practice. This is the mind of faith and the body of faith. And these things want this kind of acknowledgement and then to do the acknowledgement to get the Buddhists to acknowledge that we've done this practice is recommended by our founder, Dogen. So I guess he did that practice. He had some unskillfulness to confess to. Okay, well. out of kindness for the kitchen, maybe we'll come to a conclusion so they don't miss much.

[101:47]

Okay? Now we're chanting, so we put our masks back on.

[101:56]

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