We have just recited the vow to practice the Buddha way. And as part of that vow, we noted that karma has accumulated, that our cognitive activity has caused accumulations which seem to be obstacles in practicing the way. And we said the words of requesting that the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas be compassionate to us and free us from these karmic hindrances. We like to practice the Buddha way in the world, but a curtain has been hung before the world.

[01:33]

This curtain is woven with stories, woven with karmic cause and effect. We have been studying stories for some time now with the suggestion that to explore, to go forth and explore the fabric of this curtain, the fabric of these stories, to intimately go and face and journey through the field of stories, which is our karma, that we will see that nothing has an abiding, independent self.

[03:03]

This journeying in the field of stories will tear through this fabric into the world beyond the stories. But first this morning I suggested to befriend the breath. And in befriending the breath, energy becomes focused. And then, with focused energy,

[04:18]

explore and face the story of the moment. Explore the intention of the moment. Explore the cognitive construction of the moment, which is hung before the energy of the world. When the study becomes thorough, we enter the ancestors' samadhi. The ancestors have befriended their body and mind their energy became focused, they explored their karma, they explored and journeyed through their field of conscious activity.

[05:43]

Moment by moment they faced their conscious activity, intimately attended to their intentions. and broke through the obstructions of intention, the karmic obstructions, into the realm where it is not possible to grasp anything. And there they practice in the unconstructed, ungraspable stillness. There they practice in the radiance of imperceptible mutual assistance among all beings. They're still breathing in that world and

[06:54]

they still have lunch sometimes and breakfast. For example, the 27th ancestor in our lineage was invited to lunch by an Indian Raja. After receiving lunch, the ancestor Prajnatara was asked, I guess it doesn't say, but I guess he did not recite scriptures after lunch. Oftentimes Buddhist monks, after receiving their gift of lunch, would do a recitation of scriptures for the host, for the family and friends of the host, which I'm sure would be lovely to hear Prajna Tara recite a scripture.

[08:06]

But he didn't, I guess, because the Raja said, Why don't you recite scriptures, Master? And Prajna Tara said, This poor wayfarer, when breathing in, doesn't dwell in the realms of body and mind. Breathing out does not get involved in myriad circumstances. I always recite this scripture hundreds, thousands, millions of scrolls. The ancestors are breathing in and out. And as they breathe, they don't dwell on anything.

[09:14]

They just enjoy the bodhisattva samadhi, breath after breath. They're intimate. We can be intimate with the breath. they became intimate with the curtain that our mind constructs and hangs between us and our breath, between us and the energy of the universe. Of course, it's impossible that anything could be between us and the energy of the universe, but we can still create something and put it out there. And it seems like that's what's happening. This is our karma. This is karmic obstruction that I'm speaking of. But again, sallying forth

[10:21]

into the field of stories, the field of dreams, the field of conscious construction, the fabric will open unto the world as it really comes to be. we will enter into the selflessness, the absence of our stories in the world. I've said this over and over.

[11:42]

It's similar to the, it's similar to, no it's not similar to in a way, but it's kind of similar to Prajnottara's scripture. It's kind of a prelude to Prajnottara's scripture that he recites. The scripture I recite is Nobody is the person they think they are. Nobody is the person she thinks she is. And this misapprehension is universal and essential.

[12:55]

And according to the Czech writer Kundera, this misapprehension This way we think about ourselves, which is not the way we are, but we do see ourselves that way. This way we think about ourselves, which is a misapprehension, but we do think about ourselves this way. This casts a comical gleam on every person. studying this comical gleam will rent the fabric of what we think of ourselves.

[14:13]

And then we will allow everything to enlighten us Kundera also says, I invent stories, and I have suggested that you invent stories. Do you admit that you invent stories? Do you attend to your ongoing inventive activity? Do you remember that you're inventing what you think you are and what you think I am? Do you remember that?

[15:18]

For a moment, Kundera remembered that he invented stories, that he invents stories. And he said, I invent them and then I Confront one with another. By this means, I ask questions. There's other ways to ask questions, but that's the way he does. Is there really another way to ask questions? Invent a story. Invent another story that confronts the previous one rather than proves it. In that way, he asks questions. He feels that it... He doesn't say that people are stupid. He just says it is the stupidity of people to have answers for everything.

[16:28]

But it is wisdom to have questions for everything. So who wants to live in wisdom? We need to warm up to be willing to live in a world where we have questions about everything. Do I wish to encourage beings To regard the world as a question? Do I wish to encourage myself to regard the world, to regard each of you as a question? That was the question.

[17:43]

Breathing in, it would be nice not to dwell in the realms of body and mind and be in the ancestors' samadhi. prior to realizing, breathing out, and not being entangled in myriad circumstances, prior to that realization, we have some traveling to do if we wish to enter the practice of the ancestors. We need to travel by questioning all of our stories, all of our comical stories.

[18:51]

We need to be like Don Quixote. I don't remember the story so well, but I remember that it starts out by saying I think it says something like, in the province of La Mancha, there lived a certain gentleman, rather over 40. And I kind of remember that he spent a lot of time in his library reading books. reading stories, taking them in. Finally, I guess he got focused and he was ready to sally forth into the world.

[20:04]

And we have the story of his interactions with his dreams. Now, are these stories of Don Quixote stories of us? He wasn't who he thought he was. He thought he was a medieval knight. His girlfriend wasn't who he thought she was. I think he thought she was a medieval princess.

[21:07]

Is that right? Nobody remembers Don Quixote? I don't know what Delfina Della Rosa, was that her name? I don't know, was it Delfina? Huh? What? Dulcinea. I don't know actually what she was, but she wasn't what Don Quixote thought she was. And I don't know what he was, but he wasn't what he thought he was. But he went forth and confronted his stories, and we get to watch. But while we're watching, is it a story about us or about somebody else? Did you hear a story?

[22:55]

And if you did, do you have a story to confront the story? I have a story that you do. I have a story that all the while that you've been listening, you've been listening to yourself. Indirectly, through a story. I don't know how you've been practicing with the stories that your mind has been creating while you've been listening. I think you have been listening. That's my story. And I think you have been making stories of what you've been listening to, which are not what you've been listening to. And if you think so, I hope you see the comic gleam I hope you're delighted to watch.

[23:58]

And if you're not delighted, then forget about the stories for a while, even though they're still hanging in before your eyes, and just get cozy with your breath. And when you're focused, you may be ready to be Don Quixote and to journey into the fabric that you eventually will be graced with its opening and revealing what's actually the way things are. Which for those for whom the curtains have opened, there is what we call peace and freedom. The after effect is called nirvana.

[25:04]

It's just a story away. a story and a journeying in the story away. Not just a story away, but also a practicing with the story away. A practicing thoroughly with the story. you're welcome to express yourself if you wish, in the form of coming forth to meet me. I don't know if other people will welcome you to come forth and meet them,

[26:21]

I would encourage you to ask them before you do. But one person here is saying, if you want to express yourself to me or to the group, I would invite you to do it right around here. And you can also check with me before you do And if you can check with the group before you do, I would encourage you to particularly check with the group. That's the invitation. You can receive it by walking or crawling.

[27:26]

I see a hand, but I'm not really going to do much more than see a hand. May I come forth? Yes, you may, but you don't have to ask. You can just come forth. It's a standing invitation. I have some change in my feedback of this teaching. Would you speak up, please? Could you hear him okay? Speak up, please. Excuse me, one other thing might help is if someone's speaking to me or if I'm speaking and you're not able to hear, go like this. And then I'll ask the person to speak up. I feel a change in the feedback of how I'm receiving this teaching, and that is that I believe what you're saying.

[28:47]

I believe that my story of you and my story of myself is not true. But I find in the practice of watching my stories and watching intentions takes tremendous faith that I do not have. Watching the stories takes faith? It takes faith to believe that it will lead to freedom when all I feel is torment. Whereas following my breath, I felt pretty content to walk around. Whereas now watching my stories, I feel kind of hellish, angry, frustrated. Well, maybe you need to just do more close attention or, you know, befriend your breathing until you don't feel that way.

[29:48]

You don't go forward to these stories with an angry feeling. You're not going to be able to rent the fabric is not going to open for you if you're angry. So you have to be basically in a really good mood before you go on this trip. So I think you need to forget about applying for this great journey until you're calm and relaxed and so on and so forth. You still won't be completely free of fear and so on, but you can be really relaxed and at ease and joyful and buoyant and flexible while still feeling some fear and so on. But I think you probably need to do more of the befriending the breath kind of thing. Here's the problem. Here's the problem? Are you going to tell a story now?

[30:52]

Yes. I can't undo the... It's like a chip in my mind. Everything now... What's my story? What's my intention? What's my story? What's my intention? I can't let it go. You actually... That's a story, right? That you can't let it go? Yeah. Well, I think it's actually somewhat quite valid that you can't let it go, but it can be let go. If you are busy... I shouldn't say busy, but if you're wholeheartedly befriending something, like your breath, in the process of befriending your breath, you'll let go of that story and some other ones. And so you'll let go of them. That's not a problem, really. Just let go of them. You can let go of the stories about how wonderful it is to study these stories and the great potential that the study has.

[31:54]

Let go of those stories. Now the stories have been heard by you, so when you come they'll just pop back and you'll see the land before you to study. but you'll be relaxed and able to do so effectively. And if you start going forward and you get upset again, then it's time to sit down and cry and have lunch and relax. So watch Don Quixote, he sallies forth and he gets excited and then, you know, You don't know who Don Quixote is? Well, he's this guy who went on a trip to study his dreams. And sometimes he got excited again and upset. A lot of times he was really calm. He was calm, totally misapprehending what's going on, but courageously and calmly entering into his misapprehensions.

[32:55]

And he's showing us the way. to understand the self. But sometimes he'd get upset and then lots of bad stuff would happen, but then he'd calm down again. Sometimes he'd think his best friend was not his best friend. Anyway, if you can figure out how to be friends with your breath, You can find a way to be friends with your breath. I was once. So you will be able to... I can't find it. I don't feel friendly right now. You don't feel friendly. But do you understand the story? That if you can be friendly with your breath and your posture, that will facilitate you letting go of the anger. And then when you feel good, you can start studying these some really difficult stories, right?

[33:58]

Stories about being this way, that you're this kind of a guy or you're that kind of a guy. Now, you're not those kind of guys, but that's the way you're apprehending yourself and that can be really... well, you see how it is, right? But we have to actually be somewhat free of ill will in order to study this material. Free means, you know, it's not activated right now. We're at risk of it. But ill will is one of the ways we get distracted from the study. So at that point, it's recommended to practice loving kindness or something, calm down. And when you're calm again, then go forth, if you wish. Well, that was my question about it takes great faith. Because if I feel this way now, I'm pretty liable not to want to come back. Not to want to come back to? Studying my stories.

[35:00]

If you feel this way, you seem like you don't like anything. Right? When you're feeling this way. Yeah. So if you feel this way, it's probably good that you don't study the stories. Leave them alone. Don't be mean to them. They don't need you to come and beat up on them. So if you have this kind of story about yourself, you don't have to make it any worse by hating that story. So the story doesn't need you to come bring hate to it. The story needs you to bring love to it and kindness and relaxation. And then the story will reward you by taking off its mask and showing you what it's really about. You know, as another Czech guy said in German, the world won't be able to help itself. It will roll at your feet in ecstasy. if you can sit there lovingly with your breath and your posture.

[36:07]

Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for your wholehearted expression. I see someone coming. I have an idea of who it is, but that's not who it is. You may have some idea of who it is too, but it's a misapprehension. I suggest coming up this way, by the way. It's next time coming up. Yeah, theatrically. Well, hell yeah, I'll come right this way. All right. I haven't been here for, you know, the practice period, but actually I've been looking at stories on my own, and I do find that the ones that deal with the image of myself are quite humorous most of the time.

[37:21]

Congratulations. But a few weeks ago, my husband had a very bad fall and lost consciousness, and I actually thought he was going to die at that time. And I have this kind of story around, I think it's the fear of death that keeps coming up for me. And it may be the same as any other story, that you just have to keep looking at it. But I feel a little stuck, I think. It doesn't seem to move. It's like I recognize the fear. Okay, so if you feel calm and you see this story, can you confront that story, confront the story as a question? Like what is this fear? No, well, if it's fear, that the fear is a question. A question about what, though? What am I? Oh, what am I?

[38:22]

The fear, what am I? The fear is coming and saying, what am I? I see. See the fear as asking you to open up to it and wonder. Okay. It doesn't need you. The fear is coming because you're misapprehending something else. It's your helper, actually. But don't do the same thing with the fear. Explore it. Go on an adventure with it. and ask it, you know, wonder how it wants you to relate to it. Okay, that opens it up for me. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. And also, you don't need to wait for the... If you want to come up, you can come up any time you don't have to wait for the other person to leave. You can come up and join them if you want to. Is that enough for today? Apparently not.

[39:35]

You're wearing patched robes today. Oh, very observant. Or somewhat observant. Can you say something about mending that curtain? Mending it? I'm more interested actually in it opening up and letting us through. Can you say something about your patched robes? This robe was made for me according to a traditional method called Nyōho-e in 1971. This fabric was originally the kind of sitting robes that the monks wore at Tassajara during the first few practice periods. It's quite thin. And some of them... Shall I go on? Some of the monks tried to wear almost nothing under this thin robe in the winter, before global warming. Anyway, they retired these robes and converted to black

[40:45]

And so then they use these robes to make up cases. And so that's this robe. So it's pretty old. That koroma looks a little old too. The koroma, yeah, it's old and it's torn and stuff. See? Tattered and torn. I'd be happy to patch it. You'd be happy to patch it? So I've been noticing just a slew of very funny comic gleam type stories. For example... This is signals. Nobody can hear me?

[41:48]

Somebody is having a hard time. And they want you to speak up. a little bit louder at least. And if you want to, this person would receive it in Spanish. Do you want to practice your Spanish? No? The funny story is that I should be the first one to come up here because I have to be an example for everybody, and if I don't, then I'm a failure, and I'm not your disciple, and, you know, like that. Those kinds of stories. You have some other ones like that? Yeah, there's a slew of them. Oh, we'd like to hear them. You want to hear more? Do you want to tell one more? I am a complete failure. That's another one, huh? Yep. Wow! So that's what you think, and that's not what you are. And another story is that I need to have my nose twisted or something to break through the veil, like something really major, because

[42:58]

you know, I'm not getting any younger. That's another story. Yeah. Well, I'm sure I really appreciate you telling the stories. And this coming forth and telling the story, I hope, facilitates the journey into the landscape of your creative activity? Does it? Do you feel yourself sallying? I want a companion. Now, do you want Pancho Sanja? Sanja to be your companion or you want Don Quixote?

[44:01]

I want all beings. All beings. Okay. But I think you need to make a story about all beings so you can see how they're coming with you. I hear somebody coming. Isn't that something? I wonder what it is. I don't know. But if you leave, you might not understand that they're your companion. Maybe you could stay for a bit. Okay. Are you her companion? Oh, wow. And I've never talked with you before. And I feel so moved and so close to you because of what you've just confessed. And I would love to be your companion.

[45:04]

I'd love to have you as my companion. Thank you. The sweater is very soft. You made a request. That's great. Would you like to speak to this companion? Sure, I'll be your companion. Also, if you would like one. I have a story that you already are. But thanks for signing up again. It's nice that Linda's now included in the companionship. The fellowship of the ring. Yes. I thought these kitchen people were going to come, but they're leaving. But you're not leaving, right?

[46:11]

No, I hope not. You have a story about staying here for a while. I'm staying to the end. Okay. I have a question for you and for my dear sister, Brown Rogue Monk, over there, and for my to-be monk back there. Your what? No, the future monk. Oh, the future monk? Mm-hmm. So I'm going to address it to you, but it's also to you too. I really would love to hear what wearing this robe means to you, what wearing your robe means to you at this moment, and what your feeling about your robe to come means to you. Would you care to respond to that, Carolee?

[47:16]

Do you want to respond to that? Why did you say? I have a story about what it might mean, and I know that's not it. And while the sowing takes place, I can only find vow and sense of virtue in actions. And those are all stories too. Precious Abbess, would you care to say anything at this time to Grace about that? Love. And how about that room? And that room? Love. Glowing comedy.

[48:18]

Channel 4? You want Channel 4? We don't have reception here. Are you complete? For the moment. Okay. For the moment. Chapter 1. Anything else anybody wishes to express? In our last dokasan, you suggested to me that to be happy and to be peaceful when I go to Colombia is more important than knowing Spanish. I still feel that word.

[49:29]

And in a practice discussion with Tola, she talked to me about the gift of presence. And in practice, in a study group, I brought this up. And Rick talked about it being on a different plane, those qualities. Not the material plane, but another plane. And I have a story that I don't know any plane other than the practical material plane. So when you suggest that I be happy or that my presence or that the work I do here studying my stories makes a difference in the world, I still don't... I have a story that I can't get that. It's so foreign to me, I just don't know what you're talking about. You have a story that you don't know I'm talking about when I say your practice here helps the world? Sort of. I mean, I understand it intellectually, but it's not... There's just some big resistance about that. Everybody else makes a difference, but... I don't know that it really...

[50:37]

See, I get goofy. I mean, I get confused. Like it's just too much to take in. Like the beauty that you were talking about in study, the beauty of the world, that my presence makes a difference, that my happiness matters. It's too much to take in, it feels like. Well, don't take it in. Just be with it. however you're with it. If you're somewhat a little bit tense with it or kind of want to look away from it a little bit, but taking it in may be not necessary. Just be with it to whatever extent you can. And also intellectual understanding is sometimes helpful as a warm-up. So if you intellectually understand that when people are happy sometimes and you're not happy, that might be helpful to you. That they might, you know, not that they're happy that you're unhappy, but that you don't need necessarily them to bring you unhappiness.

[51:47]

But sometimes I get sad when other people are happy and I'm not. Like, what am I doing wrong that I'm not happy when my life's so great? But most of the time I am happy. But not always. That's how the happy people help you, is they help you look at that. Okay. But anyway, it's not that unhappy people can't help us, because sometimes unhappy people help us look at our stories. It's just that we've got enough unhappy people. No shortage. We have a shortage of unhappy people. We have a shortage of happy people. We have a shortage of people who can be with us happily no matter what's going on with us. We need more of those people. They perform a certain function. The miserable people also help us. But we've got plenty. And Colombia has plenty of miserable people. We don't need to import more. We need to import present happy people who can continue that practice when they meet the suffering of those people there so that they get, you know, and there's other virtues too that come with that happiness which will help those people.

[52:59]

And understand that intellectually could be an encouragement for you to do a practice which is happiness. And the practice which is happiness, which you have an intellectual understanding of, is what? What's the practice which is happiness? It makes the world better. No, what practice is happiness? What is it? Being happy. Yeah, well, yes. Right, but it's not holding on to your stories. Oh, oh, oh. That's the practice that's happiness, right? Yes. People who don't hold on to their stories are happy. Do you understand that? Mm-hmm. So then, now if you understand it, maybe you'll look to see how to practice that. And the way to practice it is go... Study my story. Study your stories. You know, study what you think is going on, which is not what's going on.

[54:03]

Study this comedy. This study is a comedy. It has a happy ending. However, people vomit on each other in the story. Don Quixote and Sanso Panza are vomiting back and forth in each other's faces in one of the scenes. One's lying on the ground vomiting up and the other one's vomiting down. This is part of the comedy. It's a happy story. It's a story of peace and love and foolishness. Okay? Okay. All right. But I'm going to learn a little bit of Spanish. Okay. Está bien. I have a story that you're walking slowly.

[55:04]

Oh, I was trying to check my intention. Good. I have to be very careful. I have a story that comes back a lot, and I can't... I have trouble finding the joy in looking at it, and it's that this robe is too small. And that's so not right, because I just got this one. Which robe is too small? This one. This Buddha's robe is too small? Yeah, I know. It's a stupid story. It's an amazing story. I never heard that one before. I know, I know. You're very creative. I know. No, I don't. Now, do you believe this story? Yes. All right, but there's a story that goes with that it's too small? Yes. That it's too small for you to see. Oh. Yeah. What do you mean, too far from all for me to see? Well, I'll tell you. Okay.

[56:04]

First of all, Linda gave me this robe, and thank you. You have a story that she gave you? You have a story that she gave to you? Yeah, I have that story. That's not really what happened. I know. But that you pay attention to people with much bigger robes, that's my story. Oh, I see. Yeah, that this one isn't big enough, huh? It's not big enough to get me to pay attention to you. Yeah, yeah, that's my story. I'm sticking to it, too. That was a joke. That was a joke. It was a good one. Yeah. I think it was a good one. But, yeah. And when I think that, I feel bad and, you know, want to make a row and... You know, I start a cycle. Yeah. Well, I'll look to see whether I pay more attention to people with bigger robes than with little robes.

[57:06]

Thank you. But I'm pretty sure some people with little robes I pay, I give really wholehearted attention to. You do, you do. Just you, I don't. Yeah, right. But it's, no, your wholehearted attention, I totally appreciate that. It would be something of me not to appreciate that. But I can't, it's true, I can't appreciate you in a big robe when you don't have a big robe on, that's true. And I can't appreciate other dear people who don't have big robes on the way I would if they had them on. And when they put them on, then I have a whole new way of appreciating them. It's true. I often think when people talk about this in terms of who's in formal training, I often think of this person who's not in formal training, my daughter. She never would enter formal training with me.

[58:08]

I tried. She didn't want to. My grandson, I don't try to get him to do it. But occasionally he makes me think maybe he wants to. Like occasionally he sits in full lotus and goes, puts his hands in gassho. And so I give him a different kind of attention at that time. I do appreciate his yogic efforts. The other day he wanted to have a contest to see who could sit in full lotus the longest. And you gave him a break, I hope. I couldn't give him a break. I did say, I'm sure you'll be able to cross your legs quicker than me because I broke mine. But once I get into full lotus, we'll see. As soon as we got into full lotus, he immediately wanted to do something different. So I really couldn't give him a break. He broke before I had even a chance. And I could have said, you won. But he said he won faster than I did. But I try to give them a break, but mostly I give them my attention.

[59:15]

And I would like to give everyone, large or small robed people, that kind of attention. That's my vow. In other words, I would like to give my story of everybody my attention. My story of you. In your tiny robe. I had a story that I wasn't going to be able to speak loud enough to ask a question. Nobody's raising their hand. Okay. And then I had a story that I wouldn't be able to come up here. So what happened to that one? But my question, one, is I didn't hear your answer to what the road meant to you.

[60:20]

What it meant to me? I said, I said, I think I said, this robe was, no, not what it meant. I think she asked, I thought she asked the question what it meant. Yeah, this is my answer. This was once a sitting robe of a monk at Tassajara and then some people made it into a robe and Suzuki Roshi gave it to me in a ceremony. And then after the ceremony we asked Suzuki Roshi how to put it on because it's put on in a different way from the other cases we had, the other robes we had, and then he Are you starting to get the meaning? Yes. And then he walked away. And so then we asked Kadagiri Roshi how he put it on. And then Kadagiri Roshi started to try to explain. But he's having trouble explaining. And then Bill Kwong said, oh, look.

[61:26]

And he pointed over to the corner of the room. Siddharth Roshi was putting the robe on. I can go on. The meaning is the history of the Buddha Dharma. The meaning is my practice with Suzuki Roshi. The meaning is I'm wearing it right now. The meaning is you can touch it. I can touch it? You can touch it. This is the meaning of it. Do you understand? This is what it means. I can go on, though. Is that enough? No, I didn't. Now I see. Now you see. Yeah, I see. Okay, good. So thanks for coming to ask. Can I ask one more question? Is it okay if you ask another question? Yes. I guess it's okay with the group. The other day when you brought up the love, when you talked about love, and you talked about the compassionate part and equanimity, It came to mind that if you have any independent self, then that taints that whole process for it to be... Because equanimity implies equality.

[62:32]

Yeah. Well, to have an independent self and grasp it will taint that process. That's right. to have the story of an independent self. Nobody has an independent self. We just have stories like that. Yes? I had a story I wanted to tell, and I think it has a gleam of humor, but there's also a place where there's a lot of tears. So this story is about a vision that I experienced the other morning in Kin Hin. I was walking along in the dark, and I I noticed the people who were coming the other way with me as we go by, and one of them was our abbess.

[63:41]

And I had this vision that she had an empty head. I mean, I saw this body with an empty head, and it's kind of funny. But then I saw a world, and this is the part, because of tears, of people with empty heads, people walking around. And what that meant for me was just that they were so busy watching their stories that they were not making up any stories that were hurtful to other people. And I thought if the whole world were like that, the violence would stop. And I want to hold on to that story. I don't want to let go of that. Okay, well thanks for letting us know that you have that grasping energy, grasping intention, and to check out to see whether that's happiness.

[64:47]

It's not. No, it's not. But if you keep seeing how it's not and are patient with that, the grip will open and you'll let go and That would be good. And you'll see that maybe if you're still present and aware. So I don't understand how... I believe what you say about letting go of the story. I'll be a bit happier. But I don't understand how letting go of the story about the world being able to be a non-violent place is helpful. Okay. I don't understand. And then, even though you don't understand, still one response would be, that is necessary for the world to be a non-violent place. It's necessary to let go of stories about how non-violence is encouraged.

[65:55]

The stories about how it's encouraged are not how it's encouraged. But the stories about how it's encouraged are based on how it's encouraged. It can be encouraged. And then we put up this story about it. That's not how it's encouraged. Letting go of the story is necessary in order to realize the way it actually is encouraged. Bodhisattva is near a mind that doesn't dwell in any story about how bodhisattvas are supposed to be, including that story. Then they're unhindered in working for nonviolence. People can have arguments about different versions of what promote nonviolence if they hold on to them. It's also possible to have an argument without it being violent if nobody's holding on.

[66:59]

Nobody's holding on, nobody's afraid, and you can have a nice argument. A loving argument with happy people arguing on stage for people to see how it's possible. the world of the story of what helps regarded as a question. In sitting here and listening to the questions, I've been feeling a lot of sensation in my body.

[68:08]

And my body is telling me a story that my mind doesn't understand. First my throat started to get tighter, and then my chest started to get very heavy, and then tears started to flow. My body is telling me about a story of sadness, What is that? Well, I have a story, which is that your body's asking you to open to the sadness so that you can be fresh and new in the moment. But to understand the sadness, don't I have to put a story on it? I think the body's saying, eat this, don't understand it. Feel it, open to it. And then you can be fresh, and then you have a chance to understand freshness. That's what your body is saying to you.

[69:08]

It's saying, open to this. And when your tears come, you're starting to open to it. You did feel it. That was good. That was opening to it. Sometimes you will see some meaning in the sadness. Oh, that's what I was holding on to. That's what was making me stale. Sometimes you see it. Sometimes you don't. But whether you see it or not, you will be fresh and new when you're completely open to the sadness. It's not that you come to the end of the sadness necessarily, but you come to the end of your resistance to it. You can be completely open to it. So it doesn't require a story, whether it's my sadness or sadness about other people's stories? Well, there is probably stories, but they're not really what it is. They can be stories or not. You can say, I think I'm sad because we have a new mailman or something. That could be the story. Well, that's based on whatever the problem, whatever the change that you're trying to cope with, it's based on that.

[70:11]

But it's not it. It's a way to cope with it. It's a way to grasp it, which is fine. So the sadness doesn't say to you, get rid of that, let go of that story. It says, feel this, and you'll let go of that story. But it doesn't say it's how, but you will. The story's over. Let go of it. But sometimes we want to hold on to stories that are over, because some of them are so good. But if sadness is just something you feel, and in an openness there's not really, you know, the story isn't the main thing. But it sounds like you were doing it. I'm just putting a positive frame on what you were doing and saying that you may or may not get some understanding of what the source of it is. Okay. Because a lot of stuff actually isn't, you know, it's physical, it's not verbal. It's subliminal. That's my story.

[71:20]

Thank you. I want to ask you, Red, Is there a way, can you share with us anything you might have learned about being with young people, very young human beings, and pretty young human beings, that, I'm just not quite sure how to phrase this, Is it even advisable to encourage young people to not cling to stories, to their story?

[72:20]

Is there a way to be with young people so that they can relate to the river and the road in such a way that later in life they don't mistake the road in a painful way? Seems to be, yes. But usually, I think for most young people, and actually for... Like I said, this practice period, people are telling me they're understanding quite well, but sometimes the way we try to instruct people, it's difficult for them to understand, even in adulthood. So, for example, I don't think I don't think little people, some of this instruction is not the right time to tell them, but you can show it to them. So when you see young people, you have a story of them. If you tell yourself, I do not believe my story or my story of this child is not what the child is, they can feel a difference between someone who looks at them and says, this is my story of them,

[73:29]

or not even this is my story, this is what they are. I think that's a good boy. And not only do I think that's a good boy, but what I think is actually what they are. They can feel that. Then they can feel somebody else that looks at them and says, I think this is a good boy, but who knows this is a story I have about this boy. And I may be caught by the story that he's a good boy, but I also hear the teaching that the story is not what he is. This is like respecting the child. You look at the child and you think, oh, good child. You look at the student and you say, oh, good student. Respect is look again. Don't be caught by the story that they're a good student or a good child. And they feel that. They feel like, oh yeah, he had this idea that I'm a good person. And that's really insulting if he believes that.

[74:33]

It's okay if he thinks I'm good. But if he thinks that's what I really am, I feel insulted. They can't articulate that necessarily, but some can. I used to hear certain people telling stories about me which were very good stories, but which I really knew were not true. And I really felt insulted because it wasn't a story about me. It was a story about them making a story about me that wasn't me and in a way that was better than me so that they would be associated with this better version of me. So they trashed me for the sake of their social enhancement, telling really good stories about me. And they could have told bad stories maybe that were really humorous, and that would have advanced them too. But any story that people tell about me, and that they believe it, I feel disrespected if they believe it.

[75:34]

If they tell it just as a way to relate, and then we can let go of it and move on to the next one, then I feel respected. And children can feel that. And they can feel it even before you get tense and take the good boy and put him over here and put the bad boy over there, even before you do stuff like that based on believing these stories. They feel it. Both of them feel it. But it's possible not to segregate, not to be caught by these discriminations. And they can feel it. So they can see you practicing it, even though they can't do it yet themselves. They can see you practicing it. But what I think you can do with children younger than the age you're working with now, like around the... I watch Buddha, the way he relates to his son, around the age my grandson is. At around seven or six and eight, around that age, it's very easy to talk to children in terms of what's your intention. You know, what are you trying to do here?

[76:37]

And is it going to be helpful or is it going to be harmful? My daughter talks to my grandson that way. Think about what you're doing and what the consequences will be. Are you going to like those consequences? At that age, you can talk to him about meditating on intention. But that's sort of a warm-up to this more advanced practice, which we're talking about now, which is to remember that the stories of good are not really good. The stories of what is good, the stories of this being a good person, the story of me being a good person, the story of me being a bad person, Not too many people come and tell me they have a story of themselves being a good person. I think maybe they're embarrassed to tell me those. I don't know. Maybe nobody here has any stories of themselves being really good. But almost nobody's coming to say, I confess, I think I'm really great. Mostly people are coming to say, I confess that I have these shortcomings, and I confess that I'm impatient with myself about my shortcomings. I hear that mostly, which is fine.

[77:39]

And then we can start working on not believing the story. So if a kid tells you, I'm bad, and they believe that story, and you say, no, you're not, they just hold on more tightly. So when they say, I'm bad, rather than say, no, you're not, which you actually don't think that's true, and it's not true, but your story about what they are isn't true either. But when they tell you that they're bad, you can say, whoa, you are bad. Yeah, wow, I'm scared. Then they say, oh, no, I'm not. If you go with them on that journey, then actually without getting into this kind of instruction, you're actually instructing them by playing with them. Be Don Quixote with them. Be Sancho Panza with them on these wild stories that they're making up. And then they go watch them. They wake up and they change and go on the next one and the next one and the next one. Don't resist their attachment to their stories.

[78:40]

Show them that you can relax with them and say, oh yeah, you are really the worst kid in this group. I know what you mean. or, you know, some way, then they feel recognized. And in the meantime, you think they're, like, totally beautiful. Or they say, like, I'm ugly, like these beautiful kids come up and say, I'm ugly. particularly in this culture, girls say, I'm ugly. You see these beautiful girls, all of them are beautiful, all of them are brilliant, and they're coming and telling you they're ugly. So rather than saying, oh no, you're beautiful, darling. Go with it. How could we make you a little bit more ugly? Is there some way to do that? You can make ugliness training for the girls. You know, it's When you see it as a question, it's a comedy. When you see it as a truth, whether it's good or bad, it's very, very sad and very, very dangerous and very, very scary.

[79:44]

Not to say tragedy doesn't have a function here, but we have

[79:50]

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