So I'd like to begin by referring to the ancient text that was sent out to everybody, written by the great Bodhisattva Asanga, probably in the fourth century Common Era. As the Roman Empire was struggling, in its final century, bodhisattvas over in India were writing teachings for bodhisattvas. And this text, an adornment, this text is written as an adornment of the great teachings, the great scriptures for bodhisattvas. Mahayana Samgraha. And the first verse of compassion, 10 categories of compassion.

[01:08]

And I sent out a notice to you to please consider how those 10 categories might be within your own mind, in your own body. When I first read them, I thought, you know, they were talking about, you know, bodhisattvas are looking out at all beings, and they see these different types of beings, these ten categories of beings who are ten categories of suffering. But then, now I'm thinking that we can also find these ten categories of suffering within ourselves at various points. And so I welcome you to look inward and see if you can discover some of these forms of suffering within your own consciousness, within your own body.

[02:14]

Also, I wanted to celebrate that last weekend, I mean, last Saturday, we had our first in-person sitting together at no abode. The first time we've been able to be together in person. And so we were together and it was a joyous event. And some of you were there. And I talked about three forms of compassion. last Saturday, and I'd like to bring them up tonight also. I hesitated to bring them up last week, but now I'm kind of warmed up and ready to do it. I hesitated because I thought some of you might be startled to hear about these different types of compassion. You might be tonight too, but I feel ready to cope with any startle responses.

[03:25]

So the three types are, the first type is compassion which has beings as objects of the compassions. The second type is compassion which observes beings sort of in the light of or under the auspices or guided by Dharma, the teaching. And the third type of compassion is called great compassion, and it doesn't have any objects. It's compassion, but there's no objects. So those are the three types. First, compassion which has beings as objects. Second, compassion which sees beings within the teaching.

[04:34]

And the third type, objectless compassion, which is the compassion of great awakening, the Buddhist compassion. And the third type, Great compassion of the Buddha includes the previous two kinds. The third type, which doesn't have any objects, includes the types, the type of compassion which do have objects, but in a non-objective, non-dualistic way. So that's a beginning summary of these three types. And they're not spoken of directly in this particular 34 verses that we have here, but I think we'll find them implied later. I will try to show you how those three kinds of compassion are woven into the text we have. And if you have any questions about how that might be, questions to the group.

[05:43]

Now going back to the first two verses, 29 and 30 listing these 10 objects. So the compassion looks at these 10 objects, it observes these 10 different kinds of objects, and it observes them as though they substantially exist. It observes them as though they, self, had an independent existence. And that type of compassion is the kind which most of us are So again, the first category is inflamed.

[06:53]

You could say those who are inflamed, we observe those who are inflamed, but also we can say the first category is being inflamed. So either it's to observe, compassionately observe beings who are inflamed, but also observe being inflamed. In other words, observing that our mind and body are sometimes inflamed. Inflamed how? Well, with greed, hate, and delusion. Inflamed with addiction to sense pleasure. That's how we might be inflamed. But also we see beings who are inflamed, who are addicted to sense pleasure.

[07:59]

And observing these beings is the first type of compassion. And observing them as though they were substantially existing. Observing them as though they were really that way that we see them. It's not that they're not real beings, it's just the way we see them, according to the Dharma, is not the way they appear. But we do see them that way, and if they appear to be substantially existent, they do appear to be existing on their own. And that's the first way we observe inflamed beings. That's the first way we might observe our own inflamed state. And I just want to briefly again, that the Buddha way found a middle path between being addicted to sense pleasure and being addicted to denial of sense pleasure.

[09:13]

The Buddha did not It's not an extreme sense pleasure. The extreme is to be addicted to it. It's not an extreme to give up sense pleasure on some occasions. But to be addicted to it, that's an extreme. The Buddha found the middle way. But most people have this, well, you know, I don't know, most people are not so much addicted to not having sense pleasure. more common to be addicted to sense pleasure. And then there's the next categories. And these can all be seen in the world of our friends, in the world of beings, in the world of humans, and in the world of animals. We can see these forms of suffering.

[10:18]

And again, start by usually seeing them as substantially existent. A substantially existing person who's addicted to create hate or delusion. Or we may see it in ourselves. a substantially existing addiction. It's not that we don't have addictions, it's just that they independently exist. So maybe we just go through these categories. So the first one I've just talked about, attachment to pleasure, devoted and addicted to sense pleasure. That's the first one. Second one, means that we're, again, that we try to practice virtue, but we're under the power of these addictions.

[11:31]

These addictions in a way are our enemies. They're really causing us suffering. And again, if we see them as substantially existing, they're obstructing great compassion. Oppressed by suffering, there again, some suffering is oppressive. It pushes us down. Enveloped in darkness, when we engage in certain activities, we're not even able to pay attention to our suffering. We're not even able to be compassionate because we're doing certain things which put us in a dark space where we can't even see our suffering. We can't even observe it.

[12:35]

Not to mention notice if it's taken such a difficult, traveling a difficult road That's in the, again, this is the, this is the fourth century version of it. Um, it's being, uh, how do you call it? It's, uh, we're traveling this life and it's a difficult road. And especially so if we don't even pay attention to the possibility. the path of freedom. Bound by great change. Again, that would be like to be fundamentalist or to be rigidly, to hold rigidly

[13:44]

to what freedom might look like. So even if we've heard of freedom and wished to realize it, we might have a fixed idea of what freedom was. Wishing for and aspiring to freedom and liberation for oneself and others, that's not suffering. But having a rigid idea about it, is this, we're bound by the chains of what freedom is or might look like. Or even that it would look like something. And we think it will look like something. And holding to that, we are bound. And we see other people too, perhaps plants, animals, and humans who are rigidly adhering for freedom which they desire might be. not just what it might be, but rigidly holding to what it is.

[14:48]

This is bound by chains. The next one is kind of interesting, not kind of interesting, maybe with modern day in a way. Greatly fond of food mixed with poison. And the early understanding of this back at the time of writing this text, was to be attached and addicted to the pleasures when you're meditating, to be attached to the joys and happiness that comes when you're in a concentrated state, which is a virtue. It's a virtuous state. And there's other virtuous states too that are joyful, like generosity and practicing ethics as joyful.

[15:51]

But if we're attached to that joy, that sadly poisons this delicious and nourishing practice, for example, of concentration. This is a very common problem for Zen students, which we see in others and we might find in ourselves. Many people confess to falling into this greatly fond of food and then mixing but mixing it with attachment to the pleasure of the delicious food of practice. So this is a practice which can be very delicious, very nourishing, and which we can poison by attaching to the pleasure and joy that comes with it.

[16:58]

I don't have that problem because I don't have any joy in practice. Okay, you don't, but some other people do. And then it says remaining on the wrong path. That refers to people who, it's a form of suffering that our bodhisattva nature and ignore that we want to live for the welfare of all beings. That's another form of suffering. Remaining on the wrong path means remaining on the path only for ourselves. And the last one, of little strength. So this refers to the suffering of a little strength, which refers to the suffering of beginners, beginner bodhisattvas. And in a way, it's a wonderful suffering because it's the beginning bodhisattva suffering.

[18:08]

But it's also still suffering because the bodhisattva doesn't yet know how to practice compassion. So that's a quick summary, a quick introduction to what these categories might be. And I do not hear the text saying, this is an exhaustive list and nobody can come up with any other kinds of suffering. I do not hear that. So you might have some other ones that you could tell us about. And we welcome you. And again, the first type of meditation is to meditate on these objects in others and self. And to notice, perhaps, that we think these kinds of suffering, the way they appear to us, are really the way they are. And also that the compassion which is looking at them is what we think it is. This is the beginning kind of compassion and it's also called sentimental compassion.

[19:13]

And it has various problems. The main one being that unless we notice what we're up to and notice that we're seeing things in this substantialistic way, this way of practicing compassion drains us. It has outflows. If we don't go beyond this form of meditation, we're at risk. If we don't go on from this form of compassion we're at risk of quitting the practice because it's draining us the beings the suffering beings aren't draining us our attitude towards them our substantialistic view of them will drain us and so I don't know if I should stop here and open for discussion or if I should talk about the next one

[20:17]

I don't know. Let's see now. Let's just stop here and think about whether we should stop and look at this one or move to the next one. Any sense? Any from you? I'm looking at you. I'll just say, should I stop now or should I go? Raise your hands if you want me to stop. I hear a few hands to stop. Do I see some hands to stop? No. So most people want me to go on to the next one that I'm looking at. Okay. So the next one is you're looking at these many, many beings who are suffering in these different ways. Or you could say you're looking at these many ways of suffering. Outwardly and inwardly. But now, the next kind is you look at them in light of the Dharma, which tells you that the way this suffering appears is not really substantially the way it appears.

[21:31]

The way it appears is as a dependent core arising, as a conjured of the world, depending on innumerable causes and conditions and having no independent existence. But it does appear a certain way. But the way it appears is an illusory version of the suffering. There is, we're not saying that we're saying that suffering actually exists in a true way. There's a true, you know, like the first noble truth is the truth, the true way that suffering is. So the true way that it is is not the way it appears to us at first as an object. It is that it's a dependent co-arising. But we can't see how things are dependently co-arising. It's too vast and it's inconceivable the way things are dependently co-arising.

[22:35]

We see a conceivable illusory version of them. So the second type of compassion looks at all these different types of suffering with the awareness that an illusory bodhisattva is observing illusory suffering with illusory compassion for the sake of liberation. And this way of seeing the same objects in the light of seeing that they're insubstantial, that protects us from the drawbacks of the first type. That protects us from bodhisattva burnout. It protects us from being wiped out in our efforts to care for beings. We're caring for them, but we remember that we're caring for an illusion of them. We're caring for

[23:38]

I see each of you and I want to take care of you, but I also realize that the way you appear to me is not the way you really are. And I can go ahead and take care of this illusion of you in order to take care of who you really are. But I don't see who you really are. But I do see an appearance of you, which is not the way you really are. And I want to train myself to be devoted to people, even though I can't really see right now that they're me. Sometimes I can't see that you are me, but you are. You look like you're not me. Well, I honor that appearance. But that's an illusion that you're not me. It's not true that you're not me. It just looks like you're not. Still, I want to take care of you.

[24:39]

You, you, beautiful illusory you. I want to take care of the illusion of you. I do. Susan, did I say your name at the beginning? And so I'm hopefully still devoted to you, looking after you, caring for you, but with kind of a big question in my mind, who are you that I'm taking care of? Who are the people in this assembly that I'm devoted to? And again, that protects me from falling into that you are what I think you are, and the enervating, discouraging consequences of that kind of compassion, which I might slip back into at some point. Oh, I'm sorry, I confess and repent for what I thought you were.

[25:41]

I thought you were actually the person I thought you were. I'm sorry. Please, please, Buddhist, forgive me for thinking that way. Not for thinking that way, but for believing that. It's not a problem to see the illusions, it's a problem to think that the illusions are real. The second type of trains at that, and that protects us and liberates us from the first kind without eliminating the first kind, but making the first kind harmless so we can continue to be devoted to being the drawbacks of taking them as appearances, taking the appearance of them as the way they really are. And the third type of compassion in a way is, again, the result of practicing the first two. It doesn't see any objects.

[26:42]

It's just compassion. It's just being with All suffering beings. It's nothing in addition to that. It's the completely being with it. It's not being hindered. I forgot to tell you there's one problem with the second type. The second type is that it is at risk of attaching to non-substantiality. That's the problem with the second type. it's at risk of attaching to the selflessness forms of suffering. Seeing the selflessness and remembering the selflessness of suffering protects us from it. But there's a danger there of not just being protected, but holding that view of selflessness and abandoning way, then running away from them.

[27:43]

So the first type of compassion, We're at risk of running away from the beings we're devoted to because our view is a big drain on us. The second type of compassion is at risk of abandoning beings. You don't have to run away because you can't run away from an illusion. But there's a possibility of somehow abandoning them, you know, of kind of not caring because they're illusions. Because you're holding to that they're illusions. So somehow, I remember the Mahayana miracle is that the bodhisattvas are devoted to beings that fail to exist. And they just go right ahead and love them and devote their life to them even though they can't find them. It's kind of a miracle. The third type, again, it's nothing in addition.

[28:45]

The Buddha's wisdom is nothing in addition to all sentient beings. And that nothing in addition is complete freedom of all beings. And that is the liberation of all beings. Because they're also nothing other. Each of us is nothing other than the suffering of all beings. That's our great compassion. These two types, we have to work with them so that they don't hinder us in this ungraspable, inconceivable, great compassion. And so this text for reading doesn't lay these three out, but I think we'll find all three are being woven together in this text. And so now I think, is that enough for now for me to open for discussion of these three kinds of compassion?

[29:56]

Does that seem enough? Raise your hands if that's enough or you need more. That's enough, right? The hands raised means enough. How about anybody? So if it's not enough, ask for more. So now I'm ready for you to ask for more if you want more. And bring up any questions and share anything you've learned. finding these types of compassion in yourself and also these forms of suffering in yourself. So I welcome you to tell us about how you have been working with these two or three types of compassion and also discovered these forms of suffering in others and yourself. That's my invitation, okay? Okay. I see Nancy.

[31:03]

Well, everybody here is an elder and we had a talking circle and a memoir group that I participated with. And then I just got to the point where I couldn't take it any longer listening to people talking about their suffering. Um, so I'm familiar with that running away and being drained by it. And then I'm also familiar with the not the, you know, another person here is made up a big story about her suffering and she brought it up, up, up, up to all the different levels of management. And, and I was like, ah, I don't really care. And so. When you're talking, I remember the things you're talking about. And I don't know anything about number three.

[32:07]

Nobody does. Buddha doesn't know. However, number three is Buddha. Okay. Well, I'm not there yet. Buddha's job is to be Buddha, not to know that she's Buddha. Yeah, so thank you. That's good. So you've observed these two types, you feel, of compassion in yourself, and you've observed kind of some of the sad consequences of it. Yeah. Running away and not caring. Yeah. That's it. That's a lot. Thank you, Nancy. So you didn't ask, but what do we do when we notice that and we're feeling drained? What do we do in that case? Now, of course, I have some ideas, but well, since you're here, Nancy, what might you do when you notice that you're getting drained listening to somebody or observing or getting drained observing your own suffering?

[33:23]

Well, one of the things I have learned from other places is to take care of myself. So I spend time taking care of myself and maybe going for a walk or reading a book. So I'm not focused on other people. And often when I'm just focusing on myself, it seems like I'm being selfish. But I have to. then work with that. I have to allow myself to be that way. Just take care of myself. So what I would have to work with, and then I also just have to work with, um, not allowing people to come into my space all the time and tell me about their suffering. You know, I have to say, I don't have, I can't do that right now. I'm not available right now to you for people. Okay, may I analyze what you said?

[34:28]

Yeah. Okay, so let's just say you're practicing compassion towards somebody, and you're feeling like you need to take a walk, that you're feeling kind of drained, and that you've been listening a lot to the suffering enough, and you feel like maybe it would be good to take a walk or have some space. Yeah, so another way to see that would be that, another way to work with that would be, I think the way I'm seeing this is draining me. Yeah, that's a new one. That person is not drained. The way I'm listening to them is draining. The way I'm looking at them is draining me. So it is, it might, and that's good to notice that and admit that's called confession and repentance.

[35:34]

Or maybe, and I'm sorry that I'm seeing it this way. And at that time, since we've been drained, we might need to refresh our energy. By taking a walk. Taking a break from this draining process is a good idea. Don't just keep being drained by, we have to take a break from being drained by the way we see things. And until we feel refreshed, and then we might have the possibility of looking at the suffering again, but this time try to remember that the way we looked at it before was draining. And we might even have, we were looking at it, that was draining. Yeah. And being generous to yourself is another way to take care of the draining. So you practice compassion to the person

[36:39]

and try to do that towards the person without being so sure who you are. That would be good. Thank you. Thank you. Another offering? Hi. This is a great topic. I love this topic. And I woke up this morning. I was having a dream about my ex-mother-in-law. This is not a woman who is with us now. And a woman I struggled. I had great difficulty with her. And in this dream, It was a loving feeling of loving this woman while she was alive, pushing away, judging, not liking, getting tight.

[37:47]

And it was a gift. It was a gift. You could call it my unconscious. You could call it the gods. I don't know what you want to call it. You could call it a transmission. generosity. And I simultaneously saw how, I'll use the word evil, but how unkind I was to this person. And when I was given the love for her, it was like I simultaneously the evil and I received the good. And I had this feeling like my willingness to see my own evil gave the fruit of the gift of a loving generosity, compassion. And all I'll say about number three is as I've experienced it a few It feels like I can't do it. It has to be given to me. And maybe it's given to me because of things I did, but I never imagined receiving great compassion.

[38:51]

I think it's one of those things that's a mirror that you can't see, sort of a jewel mirror that's kind to in some life is mirroring back to you, but you just can't see it. Yeah. And you said, The first time you told your story, I thought that the first gift was love for your former mother-in-law. And the gift of your own evil. And then the second time you told it, I thought you said the gift of seeing your evil came. And then the gift of love for the mother-in-law came. They're both gifts, right? And the order could be seeing our evil first. of our evil and then feeling the love for the person but it could be the other way around too in the yeah to see yeah to appreciate people and see how good they are and feel love with them often opens the door to see our shortcomings and and to see our shortcomings as a gift

[40:03]

But I could see my shortcomings clearly, but I could not see it was a blind love. I couldn't see. I still don't. I didn't see that I appreciated her. I was receiving love. Yeah. It could only see what I didn't get. I feel the love. You felt you felt love being given to you, but you didn't feel love for her. Yeah, it was a little bit like, oh, there is love for this woman, but it was a leap. That's another possibility. But she comes with love. Right. That was it. Right. That sounds like great compassion taking over the program. I did nothing. You did nothing together with everybody. Right. Veronica.

[41:11]

Can you hear me? I can hear you. Okay. I find these two. helpful especially the part about um oppressed by suffering um because i i always have felt that i try to give and then i feel like i can't set the limits of the giving and then i feel oppressed and i understand listening to this and taking it in that um It's not about, and then I beat myself up about not being able to set my limits on how much I'm willing to give. So it's really my attitude toward it, I think. I'm not oppressed. And if I went and took a walk or as they say in AA, usually you're hungry or tired. doing that instead so I find this other thing that really knocked me for a loop was reading greatly fond of food with poison and I have experienced that many times in my life and I never thought about having compassion for that and

[42:39]

It's always about restraint, and the idea of compassion is really beautiful. Yeah. When I first read it, I thought, oh, that's kind of like modern times, you know? So somehow we have a sound of some delicious banquet. But, you know, we poison it because of our addiction to it. And that also applies to meditation practice. Besides the various commodities we have in our society, which are perfectly good in themselves, but we poison them with our addiction, with our attachment to them, with our, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Hi there.

[43:48]

Let me know if you cannot hear me or can you hear me? Great. So something you said to my experience of, well, many of these, but the bound with great chains thing, The idea that that comes from our idea of what is, is really, because I find, and please. It doesn't come from the idea. It depends on the idea and attaching to the idea. Yes. Just the idea by itself is harmless. But if we attach to it, but you can't attach, so it depends on the idea and the attachment. Yeah, that's even more helpful.

[44:51]

Thank you. And I think for me, example of inflamed under the power of enemies, the experiencing of other as enemy, and then remembering to look at the way in which I may be the enemy either to the other or in perceiving the other as enemy and kind of that circular, um, game or, or behavior, mind behavior. And I think really slowing down and, and this was one of the things I got out of sitting all day on just slowing everything down. And I've found that, that, that has lasted in that I can stop and look at my behavior more easily than I

[45:55]

then maybe last week in like, is want to be doing. And what am I thinking about this? In what way am I approaching whatever it happens to be suffering, but you know, you know, modest suffering, not great suffering. And then how do I compassion it being that moment and, or part of myself, and even physical pain, because I thought that since you had spoken about your knee last week, and then my back spasmed, and I perceive pain as an inflamed enemy, but as a messenger or an opportunity or just pain. And how to approach myself when I have pain in a way that's patient and kind.

[47:01]

And remember that I've had pain before and it went away before. And so here it is again and likely it will go away. I don't have to believe in the pain. And there again comes the gripping pain. so becoming bound to pain is very very habit forming I think and so I don't think I don't know if I have a question in there but those were my thoughts so this the statement of, you know, oppressed by enemies, okay, it seems like we're encouraged to look at a situation where we see, where we feel or see somebody who is oppressed by enemies and to bring compassion to that situation and by bringing compassion,

[48:20]

of somebody oppressed by enemies, we get to see that our idea of the enemy, that we think we know what the enemy is, that we really think the enemy is that, and this, and the oppression is this. So rather than not see oppression by enemies, bring compassion to that appearance, and notice that that appearance is being taken substantially. Taken substantially? Yeah. Believe, as in believe. We're seeing the oppression or the oppressor or the enemy, we're seeing them as substantially existing the way we think they exist. Right. Yeah, but our attention is being drawn to this situation.

[49:24]

So we're trying to bring compassion to this picture of an enemy oppressing me within my own self or an enemy oppressing somebody else. We're being asked with compassion and find the place where we actually are fixating on different elements in the picture. When we realize, like for example, in our own mind, where is the enemy in our own mind? Well, the enemy, yeah, the enemy in our own mind is that we are substantially believing the image of an enemy in our own mind. But by bringing compassion to it, realize, well, actually, again, how about the enemy being me? Or how about the enemy not being the way I think the enemy is? And how about the oppression? So we're being asked to look at these situations where we're highly likely to take the situation substantially.

[50:33]

So the looking at something as what we look, as we see it substantially, but from multiple possibilities for what we see. So for example, pain is maybe it's pain and maybe it's a message and maybe it's the way you're sitting and maybe you're walking to the myriad possibilities for what it is, which doesn't mean you don't go to the doctor or you don't help someone damage their leg. It doesn't mean any particular thing. Right. possibilities so these 12 examples or these 10 examples are places for us to look and I'm mentioning that when we first look at these situations we take them substantially and then we kind of get into oh that's the enemy this is the oppressed and that drains us we're looking at suffering but the way we're looking at it undermines us and hurts us

[51:50]

But that's the way we start. But it isn't that we stop looking at that situation. It's just that we learn another way to look at it, which is not draining, which doesn't hurt us. But I guess that takes me to the question then of kind of along the lines of what Linda brought up about the other text. If there's, let's say, is abusive and you, I see that abuse, let's say it's someone who's abusive toward me. And I, I know that that feels bad, that that's dangerous for my emotionally or physically abusive. And so then I, How do you describe that dynamic where it's actually abusive and dangerous and harmful?

[52:58]

Other category or rephrase the one we're just talking about. Instead of saying oppressed by enemies, we could say abused by abusers. Right. That could have been translated abused by abusers. And when we, so we're looking at, this text is saying, let's look at this situation. What situation? The situation of being abused by abusers. It's saying, look at that. Okay. And I'm saying the first way you look at it. So this text starts out with objects. And I'm saying the first type of compassion is to look at objects as objects. Now we're looking at beings and objects. Okay. Okay. What's the first type? Here's one example of a being which is an object. Which is an abuser. An abuser and an abused. We're looking at that being. Those two beings.

[54:01]

Right. Now we're looking at that. The first way we look at it is a substantialist view. The second way we look at it And the substantial dispute has these problems, namely that we, you know, are going to run away from the situation or wiped out by it or something. We're looking at it, but the way we're looking at it is hurting us, not liberating us. And we usually do look at it that way. The second way we're looking at it, we're saying, but there's a relationship here. And the things, This situation is not the way I think it is. It could be otherwise. I'm looking at illusions here. And this way we start to become free of the first problem, the first way. And the way the first way hurts us, we become free of that. And then the second kind. We have then the problems of being free of the first kind.

[55:04]

And now we have the problem of this freedom. But also we have the problem of seeing that there's other ways of seeing things and maybe not taking any of them very seriously. That would be a problem. Also suffering. So we have to get over that one too. So I thank you for your example. to find the right button to unmute myself. Good evening. As I've been thinking about this, I keep thinking about some things that you've said to me off and on when I've been talking with you about maybe feeling afraid of somebody or feeling angry with somebody or feeling overwhelmed by somebody or whatever.

[56:21]

And pretty much every time you have said something like, well, you're feeling of... anger as a being or your feeling of overwhelm as a being. And that needs to be taken care of. So suddenly there are at least two beings to take care of. There's the feeling of anger or overwhelm. And then there's what I think the situation is that requires some care. And somehow when I look at the two things, it kind of lightens it. In a weird way, it lightens things up. And I'm not so sure that I know that this is what I should do for this person. You know, I don't... Yeah, does that make sense? You could say you're not so sure that this is what you should do for this person. You're not on this is what you should do for this person.

[57:23]

But you still might think, this is what I want to do for this person. This is what I want to do for this person. Maybe not even this is what I should do for this person. This is what I want to do for this person. And I think it would be good. However, I'm not fixated on it being true that it's good. This is just what I think is good. And you can do the same thing but without attachment. And without attachment, it's more effective. Anything good about it will be more effective. Now, if you're gonna do bad, yeah, then I think if you attach to doing bad, you'll be more successful at doing bad. But if you wanna do good, not being attached to good will make it better. So being attached to doing bad will not make it good, but being attached to good wouldn't necessarily but it undermines it it poisons it but somehow for me one of the the paths into that is taking taking my own thoughts also into into account you know not not just pushing them

[58:40]

Also responding to, well, this thought came up. This needs to be taken care of. The situation needs to be taken care of. I have multiple possibilities here. And taking your thoughts into account when you look at some other person is to take into account what you're dealing with is your thought about the person. So you can say, take my thoughts into account. In other words, admit my thoughts. Admit that what I'm dealing with is my idea of this person. Who knows what they are? That I think they're a jerk or I think they're an oppressor. Now I take that into account means I say, that's what I wonder what they are. I still think they're a jerk. I still think they're an oppressor. But I also wonder what they are. And I can keep wondering. I can still see them the same way as I did before. But now, as you say, it's lighter. There's light coming in because the light of this is your thought about them is now lit up.

[59:43]

It isn't just them. It's not just you. It's my thought of you is here too. You're here. Yeah, I know you're here. But also my thought of you is here. And my thought of realizing that my thought of you is here with you helps me open up to who you are. If I have a thought of you, which I'm aware of, and I don't acknowledge that, I close the door on you. I'm just looking at my thought of you. And you can just be, you can just like, you might as well leave. And I'll just leave, stay here with my idea of you. And you can change completely because I'm just focused on my thought of you. And if I say, oh, this is what I think of her, I might notice sort of tears running down your cheek or something. Or you're smiling. Or you're saying, I love you. Thank you. Genevieve.

[60:56]

So I feel like all of these forms of suffering internally, and I have observed what I perceive of them externally as well. And investigating and developing compassion internally made witnessing and extending compassion when I would perceive them externally. I understood how to do that and why to do that and what that was and how that was a good thing to do. And then And as I did both of those, I start to realize that having compassion for myself is important and having compassion for other people or people I perceive as other people.

[62:04]

And then I start to realize that it's actually the same thing. having compassion for me is having compassion for what I perceive as other than me and having compassion. See this other than me is having compassion for me. That's great compassion. Okay. So there's no object. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. And that's why I gave this assignment. I thought if you look at these. You know yourself. that will help you have a different attitude to the way they appear when you see them in others. Thank you. Which you've had that experience. Most definitely. It doesn't necessarily make it, but to achieve... That's another form of suffering, wanting it to be easier.

[63:07]

Yeah. Well, yeah. No, most definitely. Or thinking that it even could be and that somehow you're missing something by it not being. But being concerned for it being easier makes it harder. Yes. But it could be easier. For some people, they're okay with it being hard. They can't stand it being easier. So people can't stand to be easy. We can say, well, it couldn't be harder. But first of all, don't try to, don't yearn for it to be harder and be waiting for it to be harder. I shouldn't say don't do that, but realize that's another form of suffering. Some people want it to be harder. Some people want it to be easier. Those are two other categories, which we probably might be able to either fit into the pre, or we have 12 now. Well, I would say that as time goes on, every so often I stop and notice that perhaps it has gotten easier.

[64:19]

And that's nice. Yeah. You maybe haven't heard me tell that one time, During my first three years of practice, I was having a hard time almost all the time. You know, or most of the time. I was having a hard time with the practice, with the rigors of it. And then it wasn't hard. It stopped being hard. And so I went to Suzuki. I didn't go to Suzuki during the first three years and say, why is it hard? I heard it was hard and it was. It's hard. But when it got easy, I went to him. I said, the practice isn't hard. Am I missing something? Am I in denial? And he said, sometimes practice will not be hard for you. And then he did this. He took a piece of paper and folded it.

[65:26]

You know, explaining that when you do origami, you know, you fold the paper. You know origami? So you fold the paper. And folding the paper sometimes is quite difficult. It's kind of hard to get it folded. But after you get the fold, then you don't just go on to the next fold, which also might be difficult. He said you press on it. And pressing on it makes the crease more, you know, complete. And so I thought he was telling me that I had been practicing pretty hard with this first fold, you know? And now I was just sort of sitting on the fold for a while before the next fold. And sitting on the fold is not so difficult as making the fold. But that's part of the deal in origami is You did enough folding, now rest. So rest. Rest is part of the practice.

[66:30]

And rest, in a way, is easier sometimes. It's kind of like restful. And then the next fold came. The next, you know, I was given the next fold the next day. So I had a few days of practice wasn't difficult. I was kind of worried about it. It's all right if practice is easy for a while. And he gave me the origami thing. And then the next day, the next fold came. And I went back to him and I said, the next fold came. And he said, oh, yeah? Yeah. She didn't know what I was talking about. And the full is being asked to leave the monastery and go to the city to be the director of the building. Next fold. I was having such an easy time in the monastery.

[67:33]

Thank you, Genevieve. You're still muted. Hi, everyone. Hi, Reb. As I listened to the three compassion types, what hit me was, struck me was that the first one and the second one are highly mental exercises. And from my own experience, when I'm stuck, I'm stuck and the whole situation is stuck.

[68:44]

And so the first one sort of allows one to kind of reframe the situation. And the second one invites to the grip of seeing it certain way. But what I found worked for me is not to recognize all those. And gradually I started to fall into just experiencing the situation, being in that moment. And sort of like... Noticing how I'm separating into objects and then noticing how I'm trying to rationalize and then dropping all that, staying in the experience of whatever is coming up. And that...

[69:47]

led to incredible dissolution of this situation, sort of like an incredible shift. Playing with words and reframing, rephrasing, it just, it's like a band-aid. It doesn't do a lot yet, but to actually sink into the without any mental activity, it does something much greater. Thank you. Oh, yeah.

[70:57]

Hi. Good evening. I wanted to skip the hi. Good evening, but then I couldn't. Oh, I want to start over without it. The moment's gone. So yesterday I went to the Target in Berkeley, small, smallish Target. And I was going around looking for a parking place and not getting it. And then there was this guy sitting on a kind of a wall there. And he was going like this. He's pointing that this one's open. You can get this parking place. So I went into it and then I waved at him. And he started talking to me. And then he said, you know, If you have any spare money to spare, I could really use it. So I said, well, I'm going to go in now and get a bottle of Oatly, and maybe I'll come talk to you.

[72:00]

So I went and got a bottle of Oatly, and then I came out, and I went up to him. And meanwhile, I'd taken out a couple of dollars. So I went up to him, and I said, here, here's a little money. Hope it helps. And he was so... happy about that. And he said, Oh, thank you. Bless you. And then he wanted to hug me. He was also drunk. He was clearly drunk, but he was also like witty. So anyway, then he hugged me and I had to make a split second decision. I'm going to let this guy hug me. Yes. Let him hug me. And he saw somebody quite receptive to his, being so he started telling me about his life and I just had to stop that you know so I said you know what I can't really have this conversation with you right now I'm just really hoping that in this time you know you get the support you need and then I went went off to my car and thought to myself I handled that well right and so

[73:14]

I was viewing him, I think I was viewing him, well, probably I was the way Basia just said, but more like I was viewing him as a person separate from me that needed some help and I was going to do my best in that situation, but not, you know, I have all these normal thoughts. I've heard from people like you, save all beings and there are no beings to save. But I didn't, have that clear awareness at that time. I was just trying to be a decent person to help this guy who I did see as different, separate from myself. But human, in a way, how could I have been more wise in that situation? I saw it as separate from myself. I would say that that's a really nice example. And You have the situation where he's asking you for money and you feel that you're not ready to give him the money.

[74:22]

That's who you are at that moment. And you, at that moment, you were pretty much that person who was not ready to give him the money. And you told him about that, that you weren't. And you told him that you were the person who was going to go into the store. Mm-hmm. and you went in the store when you came out, I don't know if when you came out, you became this new, a new, another, a new person. So not, not different, but just to, you know, you were one person when you first met him, you were another person when you were in the, in the store, you're another person when you, when you came out with somebody who was ready to give him some, a gift. Okay. And then, uh, Yeah, and then furthermore, he said thank you. And you were the person who was there receiving his gift to you. And he also gave you a gift asking you to give him something. And you were there for that.

[75:24]

And then he wanted to talk to you more. And you were the person who said, I think you said, I can't do this now. I said, you know, I can't really have this long of a conversation now. You were the person who said, I can't do it. the person who said that. And the more enlightened would have been to do exactly what you did, I think, more completely. And if you'd done it more completely, you would have been free, not changing that. I was me and he was him. Not changing that. From the very beginning. I'm me, he's him. I see that. I see it in this way. The way I see him is I don't think he's me. That's what I see. And the way I see me is I'm not him. That's what I see.

[76:25]

And if you are able to be completely that person, you will not be fooled by any separation between you and him. So to be more enlightened in that story, you would have needed to be more completely that story. And if Buddha was you, Buddha would have been just like you. Buddha is you being the way you were more completely. And you being completely the way you were is freedom from any separation from this person. More completely means just in that present moment, doing that without a lot of extraneous thoughts, without any... No, no. If you have extraneous thoughts, then that would be... Like I could say, the thought, I can't do this, I got to do something else.

[77:34]

That's kind of an extraneous thought to the Buddha way. It's just one of... I'm not ready to give you the donation. It's kind of an extraneous or, you know, adventitious, whatever, you know. These thoughts are coming up. This thought's coming up. Now this thought's coming up. You don't have to be the slightest bit different from the person you were moment by moment through that to be Buddha. And great compassion is not the least bit separate from the way you were. But if you were caught at all by being more enlightened, more compassionate, if you're just that completely, you're not caught by that anymore. And you brought this story up for us to look at, and basically, Buddha, in a sense, your assignment as being Buddha is to be more completely the person you were

[78:37]

throughout that you know you want to fix anything or change any thoughts or any postures buddha would not have been any buddha is not at all different from the way you were buddha is not confined to the way you are you could have been different you don't back next time and if somebody uh asks you for money next time you don't have to say wait a minute until after i come out of the store you might you might say something different to them or you might give money right away but it's not that's better to give money right away what's and buddha is not better than you than you buddha is you being completely you Okay, I'll keep that for now. Okay, I'll let go of that for now. Thank you very much.

[79:40]

I'll do the other one together. Yeah. One more, maybe. Steven, one more. Okay. Well, that related, but just, I am a, I'm a fairly careless driver and yet I get very angry at careless drivers. So, um, and I'd really like to lay on the bunk at them. And, uh, um, And wish them ill. I mean, I can have fantasies of destruction. And thankfully, I'm controlled enough in certain ways to have acted on any of them.

[80:42]

I'm usually glad that I haven't. I'm glad, too. But there's a part of me that would be just like this freaking robocop and really disciplined. undisciplined drivers and um i don't know and i but the real the real uh the real cool with the real question i i think the real question is is that that um you know i think i've experienced i think i experienced at a fairly frequent rate at any rate at that interested in experiencing it more often than I do this sort of the sense that, and I think it's a fair amount. I mean, it's not like it's, it's, I never want it to happen and it hasn't happened, but I think I experienced a fair amount of, of this identification with others and, and all sorts, you know, I'm you, you're me.

[81:44]

That doesn't, that doesn't seem to be a problem of mine. but um all right i don't know if that's that's the right way to put it but i do um one thing i thought about is like the to me uh supreme being is um i mean yes buddha but i mean i i i'm i'm i'm uh intrigued by and enthusiastic about this notion. Who is it? It's Lovelock and Margulis. And Gaia has some, you know, in some ways, Gaia looks like a being or a creature. In some ways, Gaia doesn't. But at any rate, it's... I'm starting to feel uncomfortable.

[82:45]

Sorry. Sorry. I find you're going on too much for me, talking about Gaia. Yeah. I'm having trouble. All right. It's, you know, like, I'm like Linda. I want to go into the store now. Okay. May our intention equally extend to every being and place with merit of Buddha's way. Beings are numberless. We vow to save them. Afflictions are inexhaustible. We vow to cut through. Dharma gates are boundless. to enter them. Buddha's way is unsurpassable.

[83:47]

I vow to become it. Thank you, everybody. I'm enjoying practicing this topic between our classes with my various sufferings. I hope you are enjoying practicing compassion with your various sufferings moment by moment. I fell asleep partway through the gophers. I hope to hear more. Good night. Good night. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Good night. Thank you. Thank you, Rob. Thank you. Good night. Happy birthday. [...]

[84:48]

Wesley, were you here before? I didn't see you. I'm sorry. I wasn't at my electric car. Anyway, hi, Leslie. Bye-bye, Leslie. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Good night. Good night.

[85:07]

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