I see quite a few people that weren't here last week. I wondered if the people who weren't here last week were able to listen to the recording. But did you listen? Was the recording posted? Not yet? Okay. Well, maybe you can listen to it soon. So the course description is to practice concentration on bodhicitta, concentration on the mind or the thought of enlightenment. And last week I talked about a range of possible meanings or aspects or layers of this term bodhicitta. But simply put, you could talk about two kinds of bodhicitta, one which is basically a conventional bodhicitta, and another which is ultimate bodhicitta.

[01:18]

Our conventional thought of enlightenment and the ultimate thought of enlightenment. So conventional thought of enlightenment is actually like thinking in ordinary relative sense and thinking in a kind of resolute way, a really sincere, resolution to realize Buddhahood for the welfare of all living beings. And then, again, I brought of that, which moved towards the ultimate bodhicitta, which is enlightenment itself. And so I started last week and continue this week with concentrating or focusing on conventional bodhicitta, a kind of mind of enlightenment that can

[02:41]

express, that's expressed through thinking and through intention and resolution and vow. While we were sitting I said, regarding all suffering beings, it is possible to think they are myself. It's possible to think each one is myself and the sum total of them, all of them, are myself. This kind of conventional bodhicitta is the bodhicitta, in a sense it's the bodhicitta of Avalokiteshvara bodhisattva.

[04:02]

Who hasn't heard about Avalokiteshvara bodhisattva before? Please raise your hand. So Avalokiteshvara bodhisattva is in Chinese called guanyin, Japanese kanon. Bodhisattva of great compassion in Mahayana tradition. And in the Lotus Sutra, there's a chapter on Avalokiteshvara. And they actually call Avalokiteshvara, sometimes they translate it as regardor of the cries of the world. the one who regards or contemplates the cries of the world. In other words, contemplates the entire world of suffering beings, listens to their cries, looks at their suffering, and regards it.

[05:06]

That's the name of that bodhisattva. And it says at the end of the chapter, that with eyes of compassion this bodhisattva regards all living beings. It doesn't say this bodhisattva regards all living beings as they are myself. Doesn't say that in the sutra. But Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara does regard all living beings, all suffering beings as herself. She does. That's the way she thinks. She doesn't think she's anything in addition to all living beings.

[06:11]

You could say, well, isn't there the addition of the regarding of all living beings? Actually, you could add that if you want, that Avalokiteshvara is all living beings and is the regarding of all living beings, but really the way all living beings are includes the regarding of all living beings. It's already there. So great compassion actually isn't something in addition to the entire assembly of suffering beings. You've got the entire assembly of suffering beings, you have great compassion. It's right there. It's not in addition. Avalokiteshvara represents that compassion which embraces all suffering beings. And I think Avalokiteshvara thinks They are myself. They are my life.

[07:15]

So in this training, focusing on this conventional bodhicitta, we can train ourselves to take the word I and apply it to the assembly of all suffering beings. And think, apply it to them. I, [...] I apply it to them and think, they are myself. And if we identify all living beings in this way and the mind becomes, if you excuse the expression, habituated to thinking about all living beings. You get into that, that's what you do all the time.

[08:34]

Every time you look at somebody you think, this is myself, she's myself, he's myself. If you really get into that, then what happens is that what's predicted to happen is that when somebody shows up, you'll think, you'll see them as yourself. So you train yourself to think of them as yourself, and as you get really into this, and this becomes your orientation, then when you see people, you think you're meeting yourself. So you see somebody and you think, I, I, I, I. Pretty far out, huh? That's a prediction that comes through focusing on conventional bodhicitta that you the I will arise, in quotation marks, when sentient beings arise.

[09:45]

And the result of this will be that you'll care for them with the same energy and devotion that you care for yourself. If you care for yourself, you should get good at caring for yourself so that you'll care for them well, too. But some people, even if they're not skillful at caring for themselves, they do try to care for themselves, but they don't try to care for some other people, some other beings. So part of this is to, this meditation, following on getting good at taking care of yourself. So this is the concentration practice for bodhisattvas, following all kinds, you know, practicing giving, practicing ethical discipline, practicing patience, practicing enthusiasm, practicing wholesome dharmas. After learning how to take care of yourself, Now you train yourself to see others as yourself in all the skillful ways of caring for yourself you will wish to offer to them.

[10:55]

In learning to act for the welfare of living beings, in learning to live for the welfare of living beings, I am learning to and care for all living beings as myself." Again, not so much like care for them as I would care for myself, but care for them as myself. How do I take care of myself? By taking care of others. That's how I take care of myself. see them and care for them as myself. In learning to care for beings, this is what I'm learning. Of course, there's other things you learn in caring for beings, like you learn to love them, you learn to be generous to them, you learn to be patient with them.

[12:05]

That all applies too. But To make this work pure, we also learn to see them as ourself. Which is similar to, if I may add, seeing and caring for every and all living beings as gifts. seeing everybody as a gift to seeing everybody as yourself. Seeing that everybody that comes gives you life. Everybody you meet gives you life. Everybody that you meet confirms your existence, gives you your life.

[13:07]

as the Zen ancestor Dogen says, when all things come forth and confirm the self, that's awakening. When you act on and witness the self in the advent of all beings, that's enlightenment. So we need to train ourselves to see whatever is coming, whatever we meet, whoever we meet, ...living beings, particularly humans, actually, because some people are pretty good with dogs. They see a dog, they think, oh, that's me. Now, some people think, oh, that's my dog, but actually a lot of people who really love dogs think, oh, that's me. When they see a cat, they think that's me. When they see a cow, they think that's me. When it's human, they say, no way. That human is not me.

[14:13]

So we know how to do that. We learned that. Now it's time to learn a new term, which is every being, animal, every animal, every plant, and especially the hard ones, every human, especially the humans who are nasty. They are myself. In coming from this ancestor Dogen, we have the suggestion that the criterion, the standard, the touchstone, the pattern, the model, the norm of this school

[15:23]

is the concentration or the samadhi of the self. And that means it's the concentration on the self that is all beings. It's concentration on the self which is confirmed by everybody. It's a concentration on everybody confirming the self. It's a concentration on everybody fulfilling this self. The samadhi of the self as all beings is the standard of the school coming down through Dogen. the focus on, they are myself, is the criterion of this school of meditation.

[16:38]

In the concentrated awareness of they are myself is the true path of enlightenment in the Soto Zen school, according to certain ancestors This is the same as to say the criterion of this is to train in concentrating on conventional bodhicitta and ultimate bodhicitta. So this is the Chinese Zen way of talking about it and Mahayana way of talking about it. The Chinese Mahayana Zen way and the Indian Mahayana way. So we have this ancestor who's the founder of the Zen tradition in China called Bodhidharma. Who hasn't heard of Bodhidharma before?

[17:44]

Raise your hand. Okay, Bodhidharma is the supposed founder of the Zen school in China. And he came from India. He was an Indian monk, supposedly. He came to China from India and He met the emperor, they say. They had a talk, and he left the emperor, and he went to the northern part of China and sat at a place called the Little Forest. And he faced a wall. He sat still facing a wall for nine years. For nine years, he sat there and lived for the welfare of all beings. For nine years, he sat there thinking, all living beings are myself. When you sit and you think, when you walk and you think, she's myself, she's myself, he's myself, she's myself, all beings are myself, when you think this, you don't do that, of course, to get any reward.

[19:03]

You do that to practice the samadhi of the self. You do that to save beings. You don't expect a reward. You practice being yourself just to be yourself for the welfare of all beings. You take care of the practice What practice? The practice of being yourself for the welfare of all. The practice of thinking they are myself. You do that practice and you do not possess it. You're devoted to it, but you don't possess it. You care for every living being. without being possessive of every living being you care for.

[20:05]

You care for the practice, you care for living beings, you care for yourself without being possessive of anything. They are myself. She is myself, he is myself, and I don't own him. And when we first start taking care of others really wholeheartedly, or almost wholeheartedly, I shouldn't say first, when we begin and continue to care for others as ourself, if we're not completely wholehearted, we will probably slip into possessing these precious beings who we're caring for. That's not the complete practice. The complete practice will be when we care for living beings, when we care for the practice without being possessive of it.

[21:10]

I, yeah, so that's what I'm offering you for starters tonight. And, well, one more thing, one more big thing, actually. I'll go into more detail about later, but I just want to mention so I don't forget, and that is that part of training in bodhicitta is also to do ceremonies or rituals to verbally and physically express this resolution. One of the ceremonies is to sit and think, they are myself. And to walk and think, they are . But also, you could say it out loud. You could say it out loud.

[22:29]

and you could put your hands together and you could look at somebody and you say, you are myself. This is not a common ceremony. I think I'd recommend it. Start by thinking it, and then when you're ready, look the sentient being or sentient beings in their eyes and say, you are myself. The ceremony in Zen that we usually do about this bodhicitta is that we have a bodhisattva precept ceremony. And the bodhisattva precept ceremony, we give bodhisattva precepts. And the precepts we give look like ethical precepts. Looks like precepts or teachings for ethical discipline. like the ten great precepts, or the ten major precepts of bodhisattvas, are not killing, stealing, not misusing sexuality, not lying, not intoxicating yourself.

[23:49]

Actually, it actually is not to sell intoxicants to others, not slandering others, actually not slandering, not praising self at the expense of others, not being possessive of the sentient beings that you're taking care of and the things you're taking care of, not harboring your will and not disparaging the triple treasure. Those are the ten major bodhisattvas. So we give them, and then we also give the three refuges and the three pure precepts. And people notice sometimes, well, this is a bodhisattva initiation ceremony. How come we don't say the bodhisattva vows? And we actually don't, we say them a lot. We don't say them in the ceremony. However, we do say in the ceremony, now that you've received these precepts, you have become the basis for the arising of the bodhicitta.

[24:55]

So the ceremony is like a formal gift to the ordinands and the ordinees. Ordinands are those who are going towards ordination. Ordinees are those who have been ordained. It's a gift to them so that they will ritually, ceremonially be able to do the bodhicitta practice. In early Buddhism, the practitioners, the disciples of Buddha, did not have the bodhisattva vows. They did not receive them in ceremonies. They received these ethical precepts. There are bodhisattva initiation ceremonies where the bodhisattvas receive and express the bodhisattva vows to live, to attain Buddhahood for the welfare of all beings. There are ceremonies like that. But in the Zen school, we kind of take the form of the early Buddhist ordination.

[25:59]

We receive teachings on ethical discipline. And we use that form to become the basis for the bodhicitta. And again, in the Sam when we say, now that you've, you know, now that you've, bodhicitta will arise in you. So I said to you, I'm telling you about this bodhicitta, about this sincere resolution to attain, to realize Buddhahood for the welfare of all beings. But as I told you before, not all Zen students feel that in their heart. Some do not. So they say, well, I hear about this, but I'm just at Zen Center to feel better or to become a better person. I'm here for me to become a better person. Well, that's a wholesome thing. I'm here to get feeling better. I'm here to get the reward of being a better, happier person.

[27:03]

That's why I'm practicing Zen. I'm actually practicing to gain something. People say that, and I'm actually trying to gain something for myself. I'm not into not gaining anything. I heard about it, and that's not where I'm at. And I say, well, you have the precept of not lying now. That's good. But when you receive these precepts, now the bodhicitta will arise in you, is arising in you. It is arising in you. Take care of it. And then if you lose it, you have to do the ceremony over or some other way, find the bodhicitta again. But in fact, in the ceremony, I think the bodhicitta is born In some cases, not necessarily for the first time. So that was my brief comment, which I can elaborate on later, but I want to say that tonight.

[28:09]

And then we had from last week, at the end of class, Christiane asked a question. Ask your question again. So I was interested in exploring the connection between... You're interested in exploring? connection between the arising of bodhicitta action and the question that came to me last week was if bodhicitta is present to automatically lead to skillful action or could you have bodhicitta and still be not successful Did you hear our question? If bodhicitta has arisen in you, could you possibly be unskillful? The answer is yes.

[29:10]

Yes, you can be unskillful. So in the Bodhisattva Precept Ceremony, where you have modes of skillfulness, like these ten major precepts, can also be called ten major wholesome paths or skillful paths. The skillful path of not killing, for example. But before you receive the precepts, you also receive the practice of confession and repentance, where you will practice that when you do not practice these wholesome paths. And not practicing them could be called unwholesome. Or you could say, when you do unwholesome things or you don't do the wholesome things, either way, you will confess and you will watch to see if you feel remorse and sorrow at not following through on these precepts. And so you'll repent and then re-enter into the practice. you could actually have an authentic wish to realize Buddhahood for the welfare of all beings.

[30:20]

It really was almost completely filling your body and mind and feel tremendous joy at feeling this wish to live like that. And then the next moment, somebody spits in your face and you don't say thank you. You know, you don't. this is myself, you feel more like, this is somebody who is not me, who is not good, is not as good as me. Oops, I violated a precept. So, if the bodhisattva has arisen, it's good to receive. The precepts are one of the ways you take care of it. If the bodhisattva has not arisen, receiving the precepts is a conducive process to stimulate the birth of it. But it can be born, and you can lose it. You don't necessarily lose it every time you slip.

[31:26]

But you can lose it at the same time that you slip. You could lose it. At the same time you do something unskillful, you can lose it. Some things are so unskillful, you lose it. No, just now. So again, last week I used several examples. One is when the bodhicitta first arises in the mind, into the psychophysicality of a living being, it's like a candle with a flame on it. And a gentle breeze can blow it out. A gentle insult could blow it out. Not to mention a harsh insult. But even an insult is not that big a deal, actually. But even that could blow out the bodhicitta. So you have to take care of the bodhicitta with patience. You've got to have patience around it so that when the living being who has bodhicitta gets insult, the flame doesn't get blown out, maybe.

[32:35]

And you have to be generous. So every time somebody comes... You welcome them. And you're working before they arrive. Here comes myself. Here comes myself. Oh, yeah, this person looks like they're going to insult me. They have that insulting look on their face. But this is me coming. And they come over and they give you the insult. And you're right. And it was kind of not exactly worse maybe or better or whatever. They give it to you. But because you are welcoming them, it doesn't blow out the bodhicitta. Matter of fact, bodhicitta probably grows when you get insulted and you don't lose it. Because you like continue to while you're being attacked, while you're being defamed. Think how, again, it's not exactly good that they're defaming you, but it's good that you practice developing bodhicitta under those circumstances.

[33:39]

so then it can get stronger and stronger so that, again, after a while when these challenges come, they just make it stronger. But the beginning, you might lose it quite frequently and then you have to go find it again. And, yeah, maybe next we can talk about the various kinds of things that help you find it. But next is Tracy. You're going to offer an example, yes? I'm just going to get sick when I'm working with this ultimate and conventional distinction. So I'm going to confess something, but it's not fun. It doesn't feel good. So right before I got in the car to come here, I was, somebody wasn't insulting me, I was insulting them.

[34:53]

And then when you said that, that the convention, it's like I came here to put my robe up because I've taken Bernie Sack the vows, so I think of myself who's committed to the benefit of all beings, and I've spent the last hour completely not doing that and not Even thinking to notice that, because I'm so busy thinking about my identity, it's like I convinced myself. I'm so interested in what else to be. It didn't even occur to me during that hour to think of that person as myself. What didn't occur to you? To think of that person as myself. Oh. It crossed my mind. So, it's a sick feeling. So, you... Thinking that you were living for the welfare of all beings? Or if you didn't? But at that time you weren't thinking about this person being yourself or that you were living for the welfare of this person? What? Yeah. So you weren't thinking the idiot is myself?

[35:59]

So now you're confessing? And is there repentance happening? Do you feel sorrow? I feel terrible about the pride in thinking, oh, I've taken that. I feel terrible about that shit. Do you feel terrible about pride? Yeah, okay, that's appropriate. To confess and feel sorrow about our pride, that's part of it. I have to get on the phone so I can go to my class because I'm such a cool person. I'm prepared to say to all beings, you idiot. That's why I was interested in the answer, if you can snuff out the Bodhichitta forever. No. Once it's arisen, there'll be more opportunities for it arising, but it does get lost.

[37:08]

People who have been greatly inspired to realize the highest compassion and wisdom for the welfare of beings have gotten distracted and lost lost that resolution. Can hardly remember what they even lost. But they find it again. And then they start cultivating it again. Maybe more carefully than the first time. The first time it arises, you might not even... I mean, some people, I think, it seems like it arises in them, but they don't have anybody around them to tell them how to take care of it. So then they lose it. And nobody's telling them that that's normal to lose it. So they feel terrible. They don't know how to take care of it if it arises again. Again, I did mention this last time as a basic proposal, is that you do not make bodhicitta arise by yourself, by your own power.

[38:14]

You don't just sit there and say, okay, bodhicitta, let's have, come on. You may think that, but that's really not what gave you the ability to think that. The bodhicitta arises in the communion between living beings, suffering beings, and the Buddhas. In that communion, this bodhicitta can arise and has arisen. And after it's arisen, and then it's arisen again in further communion, and been cared for. So we need instructions of how to care for it. So besides the instructions of giving precepts, patience, and enthusiasm, in this class I'm emphasizing focusing on the bodhicitta itself. Are the talks from the last class still available?

[39:19]

So if you want, the last class we focused on the first four bodhisattva trainings about how to take care of the bodhicitta. This one we're focusing on the fifth practice, concentration. on relative bodhicitta and concentration on the ultimate bodhicitta moves into wisdom. Yes? So maybe the opposite challenge, which is If you're finding that you're making yourself available to this community more voluntarily, in which you are taking what you use as yourself, it feels like working in a higher place. Because you're in a public situation, you're taking all that in.

[40:24]

And it's overwhelming to be able to access. What's the practice? In that situation. When you feel overwhelmed? Overwhelmed. The practice is to continue what you just said. And if you keep being overwhelmed, so far I haven't heard any problem with being overwhelmed. Well, my second is that resistance is that you start projecting that people aren't yourself. You start projecting that they are. So you start projecting that you want to distance yourself. If you're not able to... Well, then you start... In that example. Why are you doing that yourself? Yeah, so, but when you were describing the practice to me, and then you said it's overwhelming, that sounded fine to me. I didn't see any problem there. Then you said, but then I stopped doing the practice. Problem. When you start regarding everybody as yourself, and you feel overwhelmed, so far so good.

[41:30]

Overwhelmed is part of it. That goes with the territory. But then when you start resisting and saying, well, actually, this is not... I don't want to do this anymore. Now you're not doing the practice. So if you want to know about how to protect from stopping the practice, then you do the previous practices, like be patient and generous in ethics and enthusiasm. You have to do those in order to, when you feel overwhelmed, stay... But being overwhelmed is not a bad sign. It is overwhelming. I mean, I am overwhelmed when all there is is everybody else. Then I'm overwhelmed. Now, if I don't like that, then I should go practice before I actually decide to change my story and switch from they are myself to they are not myself, and that's really good, and I don't ever want to think of that again.

[42:33]

So anyway, what you described originally, I thought, that's fine. Then when you talk, well, that's not fine. Now we lost it. So how to protect is that when you feel like you're doing this practice, you still have to do these other practices which support the concentration. You have to be flexible and relaxed and ethical and joyful. There has to be some joy in this overwhelm and energy, you know, for this practice. Like, I'm there myself and I feel joyful thinking about this. This is like a I'm so happy that I'm being supported to think this way about my relationship with all sentient beings. And if I lose this joy, I won't be able to continue this heroic path, which could be overwhelming.

[43:36]

But if I'm joyful, I can go with the overwhelm. But it's not just overwhelmed, it's The overwhelm is me. This is myself, this overwhelm. And I'm joyful, I'm patient, and I'm not possessive. I'm proud that I can do this practice. I don't possess this practice. And I welcome the practice, I welcome the sentient beings, and I welcome overwhelm. And if overwhelm goes away, I let it go away and just be kind of like mild, total devotion to all beings. Can you tell me your name again? Steven. Steven. How do you lose it? How you lose it?

[44:38]

It may, I don't recognize it, but I don't get that I lose it. Well... I'm not going to say I don't know if there is, you know, that's what I'm here for. If the bodhicitta is the resolution to live... to live to realize the Buddha's skill to help people. And if you're not thinking, what are you thinking about? If you're not thinking something like that, you've lost it. If your thinking's not either literally that kind of thinking or supporting it, you've lost it. You're doing something else. So developing bodhicitta means you're actually thinking about bodhicitta, you're thinking about this enlightenment, you're thinking about the welfare of people now.

[45:50]

Not all the time, just now. And if now I'm not thinking of the welfare of others, I'm a little bit distracted about the welfare of others. And not just thinking of the welfare of others, but that I want to live for that, and I want to get really skillful to facilitate that welfare. Think about that, to remember He is myself. That He is myself, I'm somewhat distracted from bodhicitta. Now, if I switch into something even more unskillful than just forgetting... like the antithesis of he is myself, or say, I want to live for his welfare. Something like that has pretty much blown the bodhicitta out of my body and mind for the moment. So I've kind of lost it.

[46:52]

Thinking about harming others is not bodhicitta. Wishing people ill is not bodhicitta. However, if there's a thought of wishing somebody ill in myself or in others, if I'm practicing bodhicitta, I think, myself. You know, that ill will is myself. Now I'm practicing bodhicitta again. But if it's just ill will without any attending compassion and intention of this bodhicitta, the bodhicitta has been lost. It's not really functioning. When we're right there, attending to it, without being possessive of it, now the bodhicitta is really functioning. So when it's not functioning, it doesn't really exist. It's been lost.

[47:57]

When the karmic waves come in and blow our mind into a karmically unskillful mode, if there's no compassion for that, bodhicitta is not existing at that moment. But that's not the end of the story. In the next moment we can say, whoops, this is unskillful, and I'm going to now re-establish my communication links with the Buddhas. I'm going to confess this in the presence of the Buddhas, to re-initiate, re-enter Buddhas. And maybe in that reactivated relationship, the Bodhicitta will arise again. And it will. But it's not going to arise from forgetting all this stuff and entering into unwholesome paths. It doesn't arise that way. As a matter of fact, it can be... Now you can say, isn't it our true nature?

[49:04]

Bodhicitta represents the thing about us that can turn this unwholesomeness around. We do have that capacity. So in that sense, we don't lose Bodhicitta. Well, you can say it's our true nature, but it's not really our true nature. Then we say it's not really our true nature to be unskillful and cruel. Huh? Yeah. So what about that? So that's part of what we're dealing here is that that's not... But that's part of what goes along with the bodhicitta. And that part that's not can undermine the bodhicitta. Yes and yes.

[50:08]

Yes, Elena. Guilt and remorse. You can be guilty without remorse. Like if you're cruel to someone, you're guilty of cruelty. Right? So guilt would have two meanings. One is you are guilty of doing something unskillful. The other is you feel maybe, yes, I am guilty. I was cruel to so-and-so. But I don't regret it. I don't feel any pain about it. Remorse means literally, etymologically, remanjak. Taste again. Taste the nastiness of cruelty. But just to say, yeah, I was cruel, then you're kind of admitting your guilt. But to taste it again, yuck, I don't like to be cruel.

[51:13]

That's remorse. And that's moving into repentance, is that we do something about us that doesn't want to be cruel, and that is how we recover from cruelty and go back to our compassionate vows. But guilt doesn't necessarily mean remorse. So just guilt itself is not necessarily — guilt, of course, is not guilt in the sense that you're guilty of the thing. That doesn't do any good, really, particularly. I don't know, maybe it does. And admitting it is honest, so then you're not guilty of lying anyway. But the thing that really turns it around is to feel sorrow and this There's a wide range of sorrow, I would say, but there's a certain band of sorrow that reforms us and reactivates our wish to act virtuously. That's the repentance part, which is not necessarily there in people who admit their guilty.

[52:22]

You sort of have to admit your guilt, though, in order to practice remorse. It's hard to repent unskillfulness that you don't admit you did. Yes, Laura? I'm thinking about people in my life who they feel like what they describe is that they're actually more than they are to themselves, which is kind of different from what you're saying. I guess I'm trying to think this through. There sort of still is another, it's just that the other is more important than the self. There's more energy focused on the other. So I'm just trying to think about how that would

[53:25]

How that maps onto what you're saying. It seems like part of what you're saying is you're talking about how we always think of ourselves as the most important thing, and part of what we're doing in this practice is think of everybody as important. Is that what we're talking about here? Yeah, that's part of it. Another part of it is realize that whether you're thinking about yourself or others, there's no basis for either one of those conventional designations. the self and other generally. And I mean, so if what you're saying, what you're proposing would be a way to clarify that rather than, because it seems like it also could be just sort of like washing over this massive confusion about self and other with this new idea. It could blur the confusion by this new idea.

[54:25]

Maybe. Yeah, maybe. It's possible. But what I'm suggesting to you is that this meditation you actually seeing yourself when others appear, that will make it easy for you to be devoted to them. And that will help you clarify that devotion, which is coming from this new vision. But there are other levels of confusion to be clarified along this path of caring for others

[55:28]

as yourself, rather than caring for others as others. Caring for others as others is pretty good. That's the way a lot of people do it. The bodhicitta way is to care for others as yourself. If you care for others as others, your care may be impure and it won't work so well to move you towards enlightenment. We want to purify our devotion to others. So we have this basic thing. to care for others. I wish to attain Buddhahood so I can care for others. I got that part, but that could be impure. Now we're trying to prepare ourselves for this meditation by other practices, giving, ethical study, and patience. Still, this practice, which you're saying could perhaps still allow some confusion, I agree. No, I think if there's some confusion, it doesn't instantly eliminate the confusion.

[56:36]

I'm saying it will tend to purify the intention. If you've got this intention, this is a meditation, this is the first step. There's more steps, but this is the first step in purifying the wish to live for the welfare of others. And Laura is bringing up fusion in there. And that's why we do this, that's why I'm suggesting this focus, this concentration, is because at the beginning of practicing giving, ethical study, patience, at the beginning of that you might have already had the bodhicitta. and you're doing these practices to protect it, now we're moving into a practice where we're going to remove the afflictions that are still present even though you've been practicing bodhicitta for some time. Afflictions and then finally even remove any tendency towards the afflictions which can coexist with this bodhicitta.

[57:50]

And so you're bringing up, I think, some of the affliction of confusion that has been there the whole time. I'm just wondering if it would work as well if someone were already sort of focused on the other more. Well, again, they're focused on the other, but do they see the other as me? It's not just other, other, other. It's other as me. This is me. It's different from just, oh, I'm here to take care of you. I'm here to take care of you. I'm here to take care of you. Yeah, that's good. But you are me. Let's see, I don't know who... Let's try it. Ron, Marianne, Vera, and Nancy. Ron. Can you describe a little more about the actual process of meditating on... Meditating on what?

[59:04]

On the idea that this person is myself. Just think it. Just think it. Think. Well, actually, they. Think of all sentient beings and think they are myself. Think of the teaching that whatever comes is yourself. But make it simple. Just focus on the thought, the thinking. Focus on thinking that All others are myself. All others are my true self. That's who I really am. Just think about that until that's your orientation. That's the way you are all day long. And then tell me what happens. Tell me what kind of life that is. Try it this week.

[60:11]

Try it all week. All day long. Try it. I will too. And then having yourself project things. and they get kind of confused in there about their pain and what we might be bagged by their pain today or them, I'd say. And then trying to understand what to do with that pain. And that if you're not taking care of your own pain, then using the idea of this is myself may not be so helpful. We understand the tracks that we want to make it to. Well, by the time you get to this practice that we're trying in this class of focusing on bodhicitta, now we're doing the conventional bodhicitta, you're supposed to have already been practicing patience with your own pain and the pain of anybody you care about.

[61:32]

So you're already been doing this practice of patience. That's part of what gives you the energy Because when we have pain and we don't pay attention to it, we are subconsciously resisting it usually. you know, by various addictions, which distract our energy. When you learn to be patient with your pain, you see your resistance to it, and that releases a lot of energy, which is then available to continue to practice patience and the other virtues, but get you ready for concentration. If you notice you're not good at practicing patience with your own pain, please practice patience with That will get you ready when you start to notice other people are yourself to see that their pain is kind of like your pain. And if it's too much,

[62:35]

What does too much mean? Too much means you start resisting it. You've got to go back and practice generosity, ethics, and patience again to get your energy up to do this really difficult thing of facing the suffering of others now, which you weren't doing before. Now that you're being exposed to their suffering, So we have all kinds of strange stories about advanced practitioners just, you know, buckling over at the sight of other people's pain. You know? But they joyfully buckle over because they're happy that they're joyful that the pain of those they love hurts them. They love that. That's their great joy. They wouldn't feel right if the pain of those they love didn't touch them. They must be separated from them if the other people's suffering doesn't... Vera.

[63:47]

Well, you know, I'm a little bit confused about this and it's complicating in my mind. It's a simple problem. When you say taking care of other people the way you would take care of yourself, that's assuming that you would take care of yourself skillfully. And then on a practical... Kind of assuming that, yeah. Again, there's this background practices of caring for yourself is leading up to this, developing this concentration on bodhicitta. Yes. And then, But it isn't assuming that you're perfect at the ways of taking care of yourself. It isn't assuming that you're perfect for yourself. It just means that you have considerable skill, because if you don't have considerable skill, you don't have enough energy to do this practice. So I'm telling you this practice, and you might feel like, I don't have the energy to do this practice.

[64:54]

Well, in the last class, I talked about how to develop energy. how to develop enthusiasm. One of the ways you develop enthusiasm, the main thing that causes, gives rise to enthusiasm is aspiration, that you are intensely interested in doing these practices. And one of the things, and the main thing that, I should say one of the things, it's the rise to enthusiasm to do this practice that we're talking about in this class, the main reason to have enthusiasm is because you really are interested in practicing it. you think it would really be good to not only have bodhicitta but focus on it and purify it. And the main thing that gives rise to the aspiration is to review karmic cause and effect, to notice how it isn't so good to believe that you're separate from other people. and so on.

[65:55]

So to do this practice does assume feeling taking care of yourself. So if you don't feel like you're skillful at taking care of yourself review last class and do those practices to warm up to this practice. But it doesn't assume that you perfected those previous practices because you can't have perfected them until you do this practice because this practice is how you do Siddha, which is the thing you're taking care of by the previous practices. yeah and you mentioned the word energy and i was going to say something about that i have to realize my own limitations and i was wondering um if i'm taking care or helping certain people and i'm really trying to do it uh in a way that they are me and i do it the way i would do it for myself but there are other people um who might need some help also and uh what so i'm thinking maybe it would be better just to say

[67:00]

I can't help you right now because my energy is limited and I wouldn't be helping you in the way that I would want to be helping you or would it be better just to help? That sounds good so far. You just said it sounds fine. And in this class I'm talking about why you're talking think that the person you're talking to is yourself. While you tell the person who you think is yourself that you don't feel like you have enough energy to take care of them, keep thinking that. And you say, well, I don't have the energy to keep thinking that. Well, I say, well, if you don't have the energy to keep thinking that, then you can't do the practice. But it's possible to be thinking the person I'm talking to is myself, and I'm going to tell her now that I don't have the energy to do blah-de-blah with her. but I'm still practicing giving with her while I give her the gift of telling her I can't give her something else. I can tell her that I can't give her the other thing.

[68:02]

I'll give you the gift of saying, I need to rest. And I have the energy to give you that gift and be patient with myself for not being able to give you more and not and practice ethics at the same time. I'm doing pretty good here. And on top of that, focus on bodhicitta. So while I'm failing to give you what I would like to give you or what you're asking me for, I do give you the gift of telling you that I'm failing at that. And I'm simultaneously meditating on the mind of enlightenment, which is She is myself. She is myself. This person who I am telling I can't give her this thing, I'm talking to somebody who is myself. When you ask me a question about this, you're thinking, he is myself.

[69:11]

He is myself, who I'm talking to about this. If you don't have the energy to do this, you won't be able to do it. You do have the energy to do it. You might want to use your energy for something else. I hope not, but you might. You must have energy to do this practice. In addition to living your ordinary life, you've got to have enough energy on top of everything you're doing to moment by moment remember that the people you're meeting are yourself. Remember to think that. every moment. And you need energy for that. And it's a great energy. But if you don't have it, you won't be honest and say, I can't do it. So how do I get energy again? Got to find out how to get energy. And go get the energy and then say, okay, now I want to do it. Now I feel that enthusiasm. I want to try this amazing practice of focusing on the mind of enlightenment.

[70:17]

focusing on the welfare of others. And I got that now. I remember that. That's what I'm here for, to live for the welfare of others. And now, in order to purify that wish, I do this practice. Because I want to live for the welfare of others, but I'm a little bit thinking that they're not me. And that's not going to help. I wish to live for the welfare of others, but I have to remember that they're me. that they're myself. I need that too. On top of my good wishes, I need to purify myself of the idea that they're not me or that we're separate. And Nancy? I think that I have been practicing generosity a lot. And I feel like I've been jealous. And today when I left work, this woman asked me, and I was so tired of being in front of people, but I did want to give the money to her.

[71:29]

But she wouldn't stop. She said, I'm just going to walk with you until you give this money. And she kept walking and walking and walking. And finally I... And I gave her $2, and I said, I'm here for this money, but I don't want it. But I, you know, I don't want to even keep working. But I'm now feeling like I didn't, that I wasn't. Yeah, it doesn't sound like you were generous to tell them that you bribed her. I'm not giving you this $2. I'm just bribing you to leave me alone. That's all. And I'm going to go to class tonight and tell people that I didn't give it to $2. I used $2 to get you $2. But I would like someday to be able to give it to you. And if I could remember that you're myself, it's hard to remember that.

[72:36]

But next week you'll be able to remember. If you remember the persons you're then you're not into buying them off and bribing them. And you still might not give them $2, but you'll give them something. And you'll give them what you want to give them because they're yourself. But you don't necessarily give yourself everything you ask for. That's not necessarily a good thing to do.

[73:06]

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