I was talking to this woman, and this man came up and stood out there, and this man came up and stood next to me. And then another man came up and stood next to me. And the second man who came up and stood next to me, his name's Peter, right? Yeah, so Peter was standing here, and I reached out to this man who was over to the left and held his hand, and then I turned to see who it was. And then I turned to Peter, who was on the other side, and took his hand. And then I asked Peter if he knew this. I asked these two men if they knew each other. And they said, no, they didn't know each other. So then I said, did I ask you to introduce each other or did you just do it yourselves? Yeah, so then they introduced each other. And one of them said, my name is Nicholas Rosa. And then Peter said his name was Peter... Benenson?

[01:02]

Yeah. So they introduced each other and then I turned to Nicholas Rosen and I said, did you go to high school with me? And he said, yes. I didn't recognize him, but I recognized him. So Peter had a question. Do you want to ask it? Do you want to come up and ask it, Peter? Sure. Yeah, there's a microphone here for you so everybody can hear your question or your comment or your disagreement with me. It's definitely not a disagreement. And my only hesitancy in asking it is possibly that I might convey to somebody else bad habits. That's very kind of you to consider that possibility. So you can stop. It concerns a mental construct that I have somehow invented for myself to so-called help myself in sitting practice.

[02:15]

And the question is whether you think this is a useful device or not so useful. Okay. And basically I've Of course, as everyone does, I imagine, I get lost as breath goes in and out. I go to thought and attention to breath. And I finally hit on the word resolve. as a device and I kind of visualize it as the path of air is going in and going out and so there's a word sort of at the bottom part of it and then on the path either in or out and then at the end which in the end is the end of the exhale is where I think I my attention most easily lapses. And so I just work with this when I can.

[03:19]

And so I'm wondering whether that kind of thing, which obviously has a big mental component to it, is a useful thing or whether it's sort of counterproductive to just a pure attention to breath, which only happens rather rarely. In my response to you, I will try to stay present with my speaking to you. And in my response to you, I would like to reiterate your question. I think that might be beneficial. One of the first things you said was that you had a mental construct that you were using in the practice of sitting.

[04:22]

Something like that? Is that right? Okay, so the teaching I gave you is that everything we know is mental construct. So, I have a mental construct that he asked me a question about sitting practice and using mental constructs together with sitting practice. But sitting practice, when we practice sitting, we're working with a mental construct of sitting. A construct of a body, sitting. That's what we're aware of is our ideas of our body and a body sitting. That's a mental construct. I think, to me, it's good to know that I'm working with the mental construct of my body sitting. And I have a mental construct that I would like to practice with upright posture. In other words, I have a mental construct about all that.

[05:26]

And then the question is, are mental constructs, can be mental constructs, can they be beneficial? Or you could say conducive to something that we think is beneficial. Like, for example, we might think freedom and peace were something that we would think would be good. Are some mental constructs kind of like adventitious or appropriate in certain results? And I think, for example, The mental construct of sitting upright is a construct that people have been using for a long time, feeling that that construct together with wishing to practice that, related, seems to promote freedom and peace.

[06:27]

Then he mentioned another particular mental construct of using the word resolve, the image of the word resolve together with the image of the breathing, hoping that that would help him be more present with his breathing process and help him be perhaps more calm and present. You're wondering, could that construct Be auspicious means conducive to success at being concentrated. That's kind of your question? Yeah. And it could be. And it also, I think, I have the idea, I have the construct that it's more likely to be beneficial if you're doing, that you're using a construct, you're using your thinking, in hopes of becoming free of your thinking, by using your thinking in this way.

[07:35]

As soon as you started expanding what I said, I really had the image of a dog chasing his tail. That's basically what's happening here, right? And you can be kind to the dog chasing his tail. And if you're kind to the dog chasing the tail and patient with the dog chasing the tail, which is conscious construction chasing conscious construction, in this particular setup of sitting, which could be offered as an opportunity to learn about the mind and how it works, that you'll understand conscious construction only by studying it. Yes, go ahead. I didn't get the last thing you just said about conscious construction. Well, you had a conscious construct that you're bringing up for consideration.

[08:42]

And then we're consciously constructing the contemplation of that. That's also conscious construction. We're thinking about paying attention to a concept. That's also another concept. So the dog tasting a tail, you're right. All of this is conscious construction. One of the conscious constructions is, are there some conscious constructions that are more conducive to freedom than others? And there's an answer from the tradition, which is yes. The conscious construction of being compassionate towards conscious constructions. Everything that's given is conscious construction we're just dealing with our mentally constructed appearances of our life that's what's given to us the teaching says yes there's the teaching gives us conscious constructs which are saying yes here's a construct called compassion which looks like generosity ethics that's a conscious construction too for us I'm not saying compassion is a conscious construction exactly but we have a conscious construction of it

[09:50]

And there's a message that if you try to practice love and compassion towards your conscious constructs, that will lead you to relax with them and playful with them and understand them and become free of them. I should say, relax, be playful, be creative with your conscious constructs. And in a way, you were being kind of creative with the word resolve in relationship to the word breath. You were taking the idea of resolve and putting it together in hopes that that would promote a wholesome state of mind. A wholesome state of mind, again, is a mind that's conducive to understanding and freedom. So you have these constructs of body, of breath, of resolve. These are constructs which are often used in this tradition. And the question is, am I using them skillfully? And there's also a conscious construct that it's good to tell another meditator about how you're using your ideas in relationship to the practice which you're doing.

[10:59]

I'm doing this practice called sitting and I'm hoping that the sitting will promote concentration and wisdom. Is that right? Something. Yeah. And I'm wondering would this particular word in relationship to my breathing, would that be I say it could be. And questioning it also is conducive to concentration. And talking to another meditator about it is conducive to concentration, traditionally, usually. So it would be good if you continued to have meditators that you're conversing with about your meditations. I generally don't have that. Well, generally speaking, it's recommended that we We don't just practice concentration practice or meditation practice, but we actually converse with other meditators about it to get feedback and to practice our practice.

[12:03]

So doing this kind of meditation practice is usually recommended to be done together with a meditator and maybe one that has a little bit more experience than you. And you just did that just now. Because I've been doing this. You give me questions about it and I'm giving you feedback. This is a normal aspect of meditation practice. I've actually been doing it for a long time, but not in a community. I also find that any kind of attention to it stilts it in some sense. It stilts the breath. Any kind of attention to the breath? That's my experience. Yeah, or you could say attention, it's not clear though whether the attention to the breath stilts it, or stilts it means kind of like brings tension to it, stiffness to it. It's not quite as natural in that there is a... It's almost like I would run out of breath unless I remember to take it once I'm paying attention to it.

[13:12]

It's not just a totally easy flow in and out. Well, the words are tricky here, but it's like when one isn't paying attention to it, it's so-called automatic. The universe is breathing the being and there it goes. Could you hear what he said? When you're not paying attention to the breath, he said it's like automatic or not stilted. When you start paying attention to it, it can be kind of like not so automatic and kind of stilted. Yes. Yeah, as though I'll actually have to remember to take the next inhale or expel the next exhale. Yeah, so that's, I think a lot of people would have... If you're walking and you start paying attention to it, you might feel the walking becomes stilted. Or if you're talking and start paying attention to your talking, you might feel like your talking becomes stilted.

[14:12]

So you're learning about, when you do that, you're learning about your mind, how it works, that when you, that has, things go differently. On the same time, if you don't pay attention, if people don't pay attention to the sitting practice or the breathing, they may not develop certain skills that you can develop when you pay attention, learn a way to relax with paying attention. Thank you. You're welcome. Thanks for asking the question here so that people could enjoy. Yes, please come. Please come. Yes, you. Thank you. Could you tell us your name? Margaret. Margaret. I'm encountering a lot of defenses

[15:16]

toward the unknown and toward lack of love and appreciation for the inner. It's scary. She's experiencing... I'd like to know... Did you say resistance? Resistance and defenses and how to deal with those defenses in a careful, productive way and a loving way, self-love. So she said she's experienced defense in resistance to the unknown. Right. How to deal with your inner world with love. I sort of said... that same thing this morning, that we have our other dependent, our interdependent life, but we can't know it. It's unknown. And we feel a little uncomfortable with our unknown life, with our unknown life, our uncertain life, our mysterious life. So we kind of We defend against it by making it into an appearance.

[16:19]

So she's saying that. She's noticing that. That's great. And we all do that. So then how do you relate to this defensiveness and this resistance? What did I say? It's part of the path. It's part of the path, yes. And how do you relate to this when you see the defensiveness? What do you do with the defensiveness? What? Don't react. You don't resist the resistance, right? You say, thank you, resistance. You welcome the resistance. You welcome the defensiveness to the unknown. And the defensiveness is basically knowing things. Knowing things is the basic defense against not knowing things. And we are addicted, sentient beings are addicted to knowing things. We're addicted to making the unknown into an appearance. So we should be kind to ourselves, just like a child, you know. It gets a little taste of the unknown and it says, that's enough of that, and it makes it into the known.

[17:26]

You know, a monster or whatever. So we practice, we love, we practice ethics towards defensiveness We practice love and ethics. Love. Yeah, love towards the defensiveness, love towards the resistance to the unknown, which means love towards the appearance of the world. And one of the appearances of the world is I'm resisting the unknown, and I know that I'm resisting. I'm successful at resisting the unknown because I know I'm defensive. So I've got defensiveness, and that's a lot better than having the unknown. I'm addicted to having something and I've got defensiveness. Other people don't notice they're defensive. They just think, for example, they know they're right. Or they know they're stupid. People are stupid. But knowing other people are stupid means it looks like other people are stupid and I believe it. My mind conjures the appearance these people are unskillful.

[18:32]

I'll go with that. I deal with not knowing what people are. That's too much. You know, anything but that. So they're skillful or unskillful and I got something. That's resisting the unknown. And so I should be kind to that I think some people are skillful and I should be kind that I think I'm unskillful. I should be kind to that I think I'm bad and know that I'm being kind to my ideas. And my ideas are normal human addiction to knowing things. to push away the unknown. And be kind to myself that I'm pushing away the unknown. Not have to, it's just that if you are, that leads you to understand and become free. That's all. But you don't have to understand and be free. You can just keep pushing stuff away and be mean to everybody and you'll be successful at not understanding and not being free.

[19:39]

to do that really well. So now we're trying to do this new thing of being kind to everything that's given. And everything that happens is given, so be kind to everything, and then you can be relaxed with everything, playful with everything, and be creative, and then you can be understand. So if you want to go that way, then this is required. But if you don't want to go that way, it's not required. Ethics are only required when you want to be free. But we do want to be free, so they're kind of required. Okay. Thanks. Yes? Please come. My name is Lori.

[20:41]

Lori? I want to talk a little bit about the welcoming piece of this. And I feel I should apologize because it feels a little bit like the same question over and over. We welcome the same question over and over. That's a lot of what I do is ask the same question over and over. So I'm a writer and I have this voice in my head when I write that I can really hear that is my father's voice which is good you can't do this what were you thinking and i tried banishing that voice and of course that didn't work so now we should banish the voice of banishing just comes in stronger okay so now you know what to do you're no good welcome what's the other one you can't do this

[21:50]

You can't do this. Welcome. What's the next one? What were you thinking? What were you thinking? Welcome. Simple. Simple teaching. Simple practice. But hard. Hard to say welcome to. You can't do this. You're no good. A lot of people have this voice. You're unworthy in their head. It's amazing. They walk around thinking that quite frequently. I'm suggesting if you want to be free of that voice, you're unworthy and also be free of the voice, you're worthy. If you want to be free, period, not just free of unworthy, but free of worthy too. If you want to be free of unworthy, you got it. You're not going to be free of unworthy if you're holding on to worthy. If when worthy comes unworthy, Welcome, but welcome means welcome and you can go away now if you want to.

[22:53]

So, you've got to welcome all these voices if you want to be free of all voices. If you say, I only want to be free of some voices, then I would say you will be unsuccessful if you hold on to that policy. To be free of terrible voices, you have to be willing to be free of all voices. But that doesn't mean you should try to get rid of all voices. So if you have a voice, you're worthy. You don't have to get rid of it. You welcome it. Welcome all of them, and you'll be free of all of them. And that's real freedom. And if the voice is holding you back, I mean, what I have done is say, okay, you're here, I'm here, and we're going to move forward. Well, you're here, I'm here, that sounds good so far. Now, giving orders from that point sounds like questionable ethics.

[23:55]

You're here, I'm here, and you're going over there. Rather than you're here, I'm here. And I was thinking going over there, would you consider going with me? And you say, no. And I say, you're here saying no. I'm here saying go. Okay, now how can I be respectful of and me and make a suggestion? I think it would be good to move forward. What do you think? And you say, I think it would be good to move backwards. And I say, welcome. And I think we didn't make much progress there moving forward, but we did make progress. Or at least I respected you to saying you're going to go backwards when I said let's go forward. Just like I said, please, the people who disagree with me, come to question and answer, along with the people who do agree with me, and along with the people who don't know whether they do or not. Everybody's welcome. So these voices, you're here.

[24:59]

Good. You're here, I'm here, and I want to go forward. You're here, I'm here, and I have a gift. I want to go forward. But I'm not going to be what I call it. What's the word? Heavy-handed, overbearing about it. I'd like to go forward. Would you please come with me? No. Okay. Well... I want to go forward in the practice of welcoming you and not going forward with me. And so on. So welcome the situation and then be ethical with it. Be respectful. Don't be nasty with the people who are not cooperating with the forward movement which you wish to. And at the bottom of it? At the bottom of it, first of all, that's another conscious construction. At the bottom, it would be a conscious construction too.

[26:05]

Yeah, bottoms are conscious constructions, but what things really are, in other words, our actual life, it's impossible for us to know, because we can't know What we are is not an object of our knowledge, it's what we are. But we can realize what we are, and when we realize what we are, that is for freedom. If you want freedom, realize what you are rather than know what you are. Would you rather be free or know that you're free? If you want to know that you're free, you can do that, but then you're not free. Real freedom is not an appearance of freedom. And also real freedom doesn't push away the appearance of freedom. The world is a place where there's appearance of freedom and appearance of bondage. That world is not freedom.

[27:10]

That world is something to be kind to and realize freedom through that kindness. So, you're here. Now, how can we be careful together now that I've accepted that you're my life and I'm in yours? And part of me is I want to move forward. I offer that. But not to control anybody, just I wish to give that gift, which is me. They're blocking you from moving forward? I have a conscious construct that somebody's blocking somebody and if I am or if there is the practice of compassion towards this conscious construct now we have kindness And with that kindness, we may be ready to be careful of this situation of blocking.

[28:13]

That isn't like blocking and then overlook it. Be careful of it. You could fall, trip on it. Now we're careful of it, patient with it. Now we're ready to relax with the blocking. If we can relax with the blocking, we can play with the blocking. If we can play with the blocking, we can be creative with the blocking. If we can be creative with the blocking, we can understand blocking. If we understand blocking, we can be free of blocking. But that doesn't mean get rid of the blocking. It just means be free. Like two tango players, they block each other. The person who's being the leader blocks the follower from being the leader. And the follower blocks the leader from being the follower. They're blocking each other. And they work with that blocking to realize this dance of freedom. when the leader is the leader, the follower gets to be the follower, but as soon as the follower is the follower and follows the lead, the lead can follow the follower's following of the lead. The leader makes a suggestion, the follower follows it, the leader follows what the follower did in response to the lead.

[29:18]

So the follower becomes the lead. Then the leader sees what the follower does and sees another opportunity. The leader becomes a follower by watching the follower's response to the lead and the leader sees the next lead. So they keep blocking each other into freedom. But if the leader leads something, and like the leader leads such and such, leads something, in other words, suggests the follower, invites the follower to go this way, and the follower goes that way, a good leader realizes that's the response to work with. That's the gift. This is given. And then they... The given... That's not determined. They get to be free with the response which wasn't what they expected. If they get what they thought they were expected, they're not determined how to respond to that. But they're blocking each other. That's the dance. They're blocking each other to realize freedom, to realize creativity and understanding through the dance and freedom through the dance.

[30:26]

But they're blocking each other. Thank you. You're welcome. Yes. My experience is more unknown that I feel more comfortable and more at ease and more at peace with unknown. Known makes me more uncomfortable, more tight, smaller, and... Can I say something? Yes. About what you said. You said my experience is with the unknown. Okay? I have a response to that. You want to hear?

[31:28]

Your experience... of being more comfortable with the unknown is not an experience, it's an appearance. It's something you know. You know that it's easier for you to be with the unknown. You know that. Yes, it's the appearance. That's not an experience. I'm saying that's an appearance. The appearance of space. No, the appearance of easier to be with space. Yes. The appearance of being easier to be with space. You have the appearance of that, not the experience of being with space. Space is more like experience. Experience is like space. And you're saying, I have the I know the appearance of ease with space.

[32:31]

But the unknown, experience is the unknown. It's a mystery. I had the experience, but I don't think you have experience. I think you have the mental construct of ease with space. the unknown. You have the mental construct of ease with experience. That's what I hear you saying. But I also feel like, at least I can see that for myself definitely, that I have this addiction, literally addiction, which is ultimately I can also see the sickness in that addiction that I have to constantly... First, conscious construction, and then the ideas of it, and just to keep elaborating on this, which I don't know why I put it from the first place anyway. You don't know why what? It doesn't make sense.

[33:35]

You don't know why what? Why you do what in the first place? Constantly conscious construction and talking about it. I don't know why either. But there's a teaching about it which just simply says living beings are addicted to what you just said. You just said you are aware of an addiction, and you're saying you don't know how come, and I'm saying all sentient beings are addicted. So it's not so much to try to figure out how we got to have it, although there's stories about it. This addiction is normal. The addiction to making up stories, or what did you say, the addiction of making up what? Mm-hmm. Making up stories and ideas and all that. So we are addicted to knowing things. Because we are resisting the unknown. We're addicted to that. And I'm very happy to hear that you noticed that you're one of us. Yeah, but then we... I am one of it, but then I'm...

[34:41]

I can see how I cannot be, but I don't know where to go. You can't see how you cannot be. That would just be another appearance. But you can see you want to be free. You do want to be free of this addiction. And you said correctly that if you were free of this addiction, like the rest of us, if we were free of this addiction, we would be free and at peace. Yeah, but that's when I don't buy into it, when I just kind of let it be. Okay, it is here, it is here. So what? Let it be. Exactly. When you don't get free of addiction, you're free of addiction. Right. So how do you get free of addiction? You get free of addiction by what? Welcoming addiction. You get free of addiction by being compassionate to addiction. So... You need to be really kind to this addiction which you've spotted, and we need to also do that.

[35:47]

And if you're kind to this addiction, you can relax with it, be playful with it, be creative with it, understand the addiction, rather than just sort of see it and see some story of how it's a problem, which is right, it is a problem. However, when I say it's right, it is a problem. Again, that's a story of it being a problem. But it's a, what do you call it, talking to Peter, it is an auspicious story. It's a story which is conducive to liberation. It's still a construct that addiction is a problem. But it's a construct that the Buddhas offer. saying being addicted to knowing is really a fundamental cause of suffering. But then we're not mean to the cause of suffering. We're kind to it, so we're kind to the addiction. Kind to the addiction, then you can relax with it and become free of it. But I don't, because I feel when I become playful with it... You don't?

[36:54]

When you become playful with it? Yeah, when I become playful with it and compassionate with it and being with it... I go in it again, I become it, and then, you know, I start the whole process again. So what? That just gives you more to be kind to and more to liberate. But then it doesn't get me out. I want to get out. Again, I told you, true freedom, you don't get out. You don't go someplace else. That's not real freedom. Real freedom, you stay closely, you stay intimate with what you're free from. and you want to get away from it. Well, that's going to keep you trapped. So that wishing to get away is another addiction. Wishing to get away is a normal addiction. But it's hard to breathe here. Wishing to go someplace where you can breathe better is fine. Wishing to breathe better is fine, but thinking of going someplace else to breathe better is...

[37:57]

That's not so good. That's not so much the point. First of all, before you try to breathe better, be kind to not being able to breathe well. Be compassionate to constricted breathing before you try to breathe better. If you're about to faint, generally speaking, being kind to about to faint doesn't always work, but to ignore that you're about to faint doesn't usually help avoiding fainting. Most people that faint actually don't notice that they're fainting. I shouldn't say most, but a lot of times people faint, but they never saw it coming, so to speak. But if you faint and you notice it, you have a chance to sit down or tell your neighbor, and they can put their arm around you. So if you notice you're addicted, you have a chance to be kind to it. And if you are kind to it, then you have a chance. If you're not kind to your addiction, you're just reinforcing it.

[39:03]

But it's not easy to do this simple thing of being kind to addiction. It's not easy, but it's simple. Just be kind. Just say, welcome darling addiction. Welcome suffering in the world. It's simple. Love the causes of suffering. And that's the path to freedom from the causes of suffering, which is the freedom from suffering, but not by pushing it away, not by severing your intimacy with that or all the beings who are suffering. Is this hard? Yeah. Is there anything harder? Not that I know of. Maybe there is something harder, but this is hard enough. So can we welcome it like this? Can you welcome it like that? Yes. It's too heavy. It's too heavy. You can welcome it. It's too heavy.

[40:06]

Like Laurie was saying, she's sitting there trying to write and she hears a voice. It's too heavy. You can't do this. This is impossible. You can't practice compassion towards these monsters. I hear you. That sounds like a good story. I'll write that one down. I've got to go back to work. Thank you. Yes, please come. Is your name Alma? Yes. What's your name? Ori. Ori? Yeah. Okay, Ori. Are you from Israel? Dismantle Israel? Also. Dismantle Israel? Yeah. And by the way, my daughter, one of my daughters is an Israeli citizen.

[41:12]

And it's always her husband. But they live in Minneapolis now. I actually live here for seven years. Yeah. So maybe I was born in Israel, but I'm starting to be from here. Yeah. I was born in Mississippi, and I'm starting to be from here. Yeah. Because I was only in Mississippi for a few minutes, once I'd been here for about 45 years. Let's see, my question is actually about sequencing. Sequencing, yes. Sequencing. How's this? Okay. So when I look at everything I'm doing, and I have been doing, and have always been doing, the one way I can describe it is... Say it again. Inquiry of benefit. I missed the first word. Inquiry. Inquiry? Yeah. Inquiry of benefit. Inquiring about benefit. Yeah. Okay. So if I take I, whatever I am, small, the inquiry of benefit is potent, and that's what guides me.

[42:25]

Okay. Now, when I hear things like the vows or best wishes or... I hear them as a response of a very high and refined level of inquiry of benefit. And in response to that, the compassion came out. Yeah. Being the most beneficial thing. That's possible. So then the sequencing that I have a problem with is since it's a response, to take the vow before then the inquiry of the benefit doesn't make sense to me. Well, then that's not right for you. But some people, they feel this wish to benefit, but they're not particularly interested in inquiring about that wish. They have this wish, they feel, to benefit beings, or they wish for peace.

[43:26]

They wish that, but they're not yet sort of feeling like inquiring into what that wish is. or what peace is. That's the way some people are. And so then we say, okay, if you want peace, here's the course. Welcome not peace. And, you know, practice compassion towards a not peaceful situation. And that course necessitates inquiring about what peace is, about what compassion is at a certain point in the process. But it's It's part of the beginning of that course could also include that the person who's entering this course is already inquiring. They could already be an inquirer who now wishes to proceed on the path to all beings. But some people could inquire but don't yet have this wish to go on the path of working for the welfare of all beings.

[44:29]

They don't feel that yet. But it may be, as you say, that the person keeps inquiring, they might say, oh my God, look what I found. I found this kind of wish to the welfare of beings. That may be what you'll find. Some people don't even notice they're inquiring. This is a nice question. They don't notice they're inquiring. They don't notice they're inquiring. But they are. They don't notice they're inquiring, and then suddenly, ...get a response to their inquiry, and they didn't notice that they were inquiring, but they were asking, what's beneficial in this life? They didn't know, but they didn't know they were asking. They were inquiring, what's beneficial, what's beneficial? And suddenly, they got a response. And the response was, living for the welfare of all beings. And when they got that response, they said, I want to do that. But actually, that response... This is such a good question... The response to the inquiry, what's beneficial, they did not know they were inquiring for it.

[45:35]

They did not know they were asking somebody to tell them. Living for the welfare of all beings. One time when I was 13, I was suffering a lot. It was a Sunday afternoon. I was in my room. I was really kind of struggling. And I didn't know I was asking. I didn't know that I was inquiring. I didn't feel like I was inquiring, but I got a response, and the response was, where did it come from? The response, I don't know where it came from. The response came, I didn't think it was a response. I thought it was my idea. I didn't exactly think it was my idea. Anyway, this idea just came up in me. In Minneapolis, Minnesota, 4720 Abbott Street South, 13-year-old boy thinks, if I would just go to school tomorrow morning, tomorrow, Monday morning, and when I got to school, if I would just go to the other students, I would be happy and I would be at peace.

[46:44]

That came to me. I didn't know I was inquiring. But in fact, you're right. We are inquiring about what is beneficial in life, but we don't know it. And sometimes we get the answer and we don't even know that was an answer. Just somebody comes and tells us. and then actually a year before that I was enjoying being a very bad boy because I would I got I would I knew I'd get very popular if I was bad and you know because being bad was really and so I did these bad things and this nice man came to me and he said being good Being bad is easy. Being good is really hard. And I didn't know I was asking him about what's beneficial, but he came and told me. And I... I wasn't asking him, but he responded to my request. And when he said that, I said, yes, I want to be ethical.

[47:47]

I want to do what's good. But I didn't realize I was requesting. So I would say, whenever anybody thinks... I wish to live for the welfare of all beings. Actually, that is a response to the inquiry. But they often don't know. If it comes to you, you'll probably say, hey, that probably was a response to my long inquiry. But actually, to everybody it comes to, it's not just that you dream up this wonderful aspiration. It's that you were wondering what is the meaning of life. And then finally you heard the answer, living for the welfare of all beings, the welfare and happiness. You hear it. And then sometimes you ask, what's the point of life? And the answer comes, you say, oh, that was the answer. And sometimes you ask, like you're asking, what's beneficial? And you don't hear the answer. So you can ask and not hear the answer.

[48:48]

You can hear the answer and not know you asked. And also, you can ask and not hear the answer. So when I was a little boy, at various points, I was asking and I was asking and didn't hear the answer. So then I thought, if I'm a juvenile delinquent, maybe that'll be beneficial. And it was kind of beneficial. And then this guy came and said, you know, it's easy to be bad. What's hard is to be good. My being a bad boy was my way of inquiring and asking somebody to come and tell me what, you know, about. And then my suffering on Sunday afternoon was my inquiry. And I got the response. So really, we're asking and getting responses all the time. And sometimes we ask. Sometimes we ask and we know we're asking and we know we got a response. Sometimes we ask and we don't think we're getting a response. Sometimes we get a response and we don't know we're asking. And sometimes we don't know we're asking and we don't know we're getting a response.

[49:51]

So in your case, you're asking and haven't got the response. In many other people's cases, they didn't know they were asking and haven't got the response. Different styles of relationship with what? With wisdom and compassion. We're all kind of like asking wisdom and compassion. Would you please respond to my question about what life's about? We're doing that all day long, actually. We just don't, we more or less notice it. And this is a person who really is aware of the questioning part. That is part of it. The other part is you've been getting answers all along. Every time you ask, you get an answer. But one of the suggestions here is please note that it's the same time you ask the question. It's been coming, but it's not later. The way I'm built is when I heard a response that didn't fit an inquiry I was aware to, I would go like... That's what I'm saying.

[50:54]

That's right, though. That's right. The response isn't after you ask the question. Your questioning is the... If you hear the answer afterwards, that's for a different question which you didn't notice you asked. Yes. So when you're questioning, the response is in your question. Yes, that is the... Yeah. Right, exactly. You're welcome. Let's see. It's short. Okay, come on. Quick. Here she comes. said when you said the word ethics that just really hit me so is that what we're all looking for here all of us right now looking for ethics to buddhism coming to the zen center like another word might be precision i like um it's like precision is part of it and also sloppiness is part of it

[52:06]

thank you very much we said it was going to be didn't we we were precisely short and now we're getting a little sloppy

[52:31]

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