in the hopes that it would be helpful, I talked about for a few weeks three kind of dimensions of consciousness. One, kind of a superficial conceptual consciousness. That's the one where you have situations like a person talking to you in a room English or something? And tea for two. And me for you. And you for me. Can't you see how happy we could be? Then there's another layer or another dimension which is direct sense perception.

[01:11]

And that level of consciousness is conscious or it's an awareness, but it's not awareness. And what we usually consider to be conscious awareness is the superficial kind. So this deeper, in a sense, deeper or more subtle or more earlier consciousness is unconceptual consciousness. Or it's a kind of, from this perspective of this being in this room together, it's unconscious. But it's not really unconscious, it's just unconceptual consciousness. And then there's non-dual awareness, non-conceptual awareness, which is always going on. I mean, it's always the way things are.

[02:16]

It's a consciousness which can know the way things are. or an awareness of the way things ultimately are after all is said and done and also before anything is said and done. So last week I started to give instructions in a kind of meditation which is in Sanskrit called shamatha, in Pali, shamatha, which means tranquil abiding. It's a kind of stabilization meditation, and it includes all the different kinds of samadhis, all the different kinds of concentration practices.

[03:17]

And I also mentioned that before we actually try to examine the way things are and develop non-dual awareness, we need to learn these, in some sense, more worldly or conventional forms of consciousness. Mental stabilization, tranquility meditation is a way of relating to our experience, or to experience. And our experience often includes, of course, problems and pain. illness, disease.

[04:40]

So it's a way of relating to disease, illness, pain, all problems, and all experience. It's a way of relating. And I shouldn't say all experience, but all of this experience which is known by conceptual And this way of relating to superficial conceptual experience, when we train our minds so that it's fairly steady, the mind calms down and doesn't get sleepy, but it becomes restful and peaceful and alerted. the attention is trained so that the mind is stabilized. And when that stabilization becomes fairly steady, we attain a type of samadhi called upacara samadhi, or access concentration.

[05:54]

And it's access, it begins the access to higher states of concentration, It is access to insight meditation, and it's also access to direct sensory experience. So it's a way to integrate the different layers of consciousness. And if one wish, one could go from this point of access concentration into higher and higher states of concentration. or one can go into insight. And by entering into insight practice, we gradually move towards developing non-dual or non-conceptual awareness. You probably didn't get that all, but I'll repeat it.

[06:59]

And you can also ask questions about that. So I want to talk a little bit more about this stabilization practice and say, you try to maybe approach it in several ways. So in our superficial experience here in this room, anybody got a superficial experience? In superficial experience, the one that's right on the surface, like this guy's nodding his head, that's on the surface there. For me, maybe for him too. Dealing with that level, we know, we are aware of concept after [...] concept. And again, these concepts can be pain, illness, green, Jennifer, Dale, red hair. eyes looking towards the ceiling, smiling faces, pain, confusion.

[08:08]

Anyway, all these things are concepts, okay, that we know at this level. Is that clear? Now, the stabilization way of dealing with these concepts is to deal with... First of all, I mentioned last week, to deal with these concepts with no conceptual elaboration. concept, that's it. No elaboration. Another way to say it is to deal with or relate to each concept that you know this way. give it space to be. Another way to say this is... Another way of relating to conceptual experience is to... A traditional Zen image

[09:31]

of the way to relate to the objects of conceptual awareness is like a wall. You imagine that you have a mind which, if it was presented with a concept, it would do with it what a wall does. Walls don't know how to concepts. They don't know how to grasp them. So if you try to not grasp, you're already elaborating. Well, the wall doesn't try to not grasp a concept. Without even trying not to grasp the concept, you don't grasp the concept. You relinquish it without even trying to relinquish. You don't even know how to grab. You train yourself to imagine but you don't even know how to grasp things in your mind.

[10:36]

Talk about this practice is just don't grasp anything in the mind. These ways of talking often sound cold to people So another way to put it would be to relate to experience, to relate to your problems, to relate to your pains, to relate to all these concepts lovingly. But what I mean by lovingly is with a mind like a wall. So it's kind of like, it's this way, which I said to somebody before. Maybe I'm right and maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm weak and maybe I'm strong. I only know I'm in love with you. Or maybe it's right and maybe it's wrong and maybe it's weak and maybe it's strong.

[11:50]

Any concept, it's kind of like maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe it's this, maybe it's its opposite. Could be. But I don't know. So whenever a concept arises, give up knowing what it is. You know it, but give up knowing more than what you know. Like it's a face, it's a person, it's an idea. Anyway, it's an idea of a face, it's an idea of a person, it's an idea of whatever. And basically give it up. When it first appears to you, whether you know it or not, it's a mirror. And at that moment, actually, there's a flash of non-dual awareness. When you first see anybody, actually you're looking in a mirror.

[12:58]

But then immediately there's like judgments come in, like this face is right, this is the right face. Another one, right? It's such a lovely face, but it's all right. It's not the right face, but it's all right with me. So even if it's a painful thing in this meditation practice, you don't try to fix it directly. If you do try to fix it directly, you cause more stress and conflict and contraction of this superficial realm.

[14:10]

If you give it space, even though the problem may still be there, The phenomenon may reappear again and again. The pain may . This is the beginning of the healing of this pain. Is that the same as going back to the breath? Pardon? Is that the same as going back to the breath and not ? Well. So we could say, okay, one method that's sometimes used is to take the breath as something you're going to focus on. You take that concept, the breath, and you decide to focus on the breath. And Elmer said something about, is that the same as going back to the breath? Well, it's actually not quite the same as going back to the breath. It's not leaving the breath in the first place.

[15:13]

If you do leave the breath, you have just elaborated on the breath. You've got into some conceptual elaboration of the experience of the concept of the breath. So if you do get into mental elaboration, if you do start to grasp things, then, for example, you could go back to, if you were focusing on the breath, you could go back to the breath, or you can go back to just... So there's many, many ways to do this practice. One way is to start with the breath. Another way would be just to start with not elaborating on anything. So one way is to pick a concept like the breath and then see if you can not elaborate on it. So there's a breath, and then all kinds of associations or elaborations of the breath can happen. You don't get involved in any of those. It's just breath, breath, breath. But in fact, you're using the breath as a for relinquishing concepts.

[16:24]

So actually, you're focusing on the breath and relinquishing the breath at the same time. In other words, you're not grasping it, because grasping it is a kind of elaboration. So you can just look at the... Actually, some people are instructed or practice counting the breath. And counting the breath is a kind of mental elaboration on the breath or conceptual elaboration of the breath. Sometimes people have trouble getting a hold of the... In other words, they have trouble finding the breath and practicing simple... bare awareness of the breath with no elaboration of it. So sometimes elaborating a little bit helps them find it. And if you do that in the elaboration of the breath by counting, and you feel fairly steady in that, you might start to notice that the heaviness or the coarseness

[17:32]

of the counting, how it's... how it... yeah, how it makes the concept kind of coarse and heavy and you... confident to let it go and also encouraged to let it go because you can feel it's... it's actually... you can say coarse but also it's causing some disturbance. Having the counting on top of the breath causes some disturbance in the mind. Either... take something like the breath and then see if you can not elaborate on that and not grasp that and the breath is nice because it doesn't you know grasping it doesn't work very well because it's it's obviously changing so your concept of it is in some sense changing so actually although you're focusing on one concept supposedly called the breath actually you're focusing on a series of concepts all of which you call the breath.

[18:36]

But to deal with each one elaboration is what calms the mind. So for some people it's easier to deal with a series of slightly different concepts of breath with no elaboration than just to deal with non-elaboration of a wider variety of things that are appearing. So the focus is actually on letting go of what you're thinking about, and sometimes it helps to choose a subset of what you're thinking about to practice letting go. So, for example, you're thinking about your breath, maybe, but you're also thinking about like right now you might be thinking about your breath I just thought of my breath thinking of or knowing the sound of my voice and also seeing the room and hearing someone cough and seeing people and seeing people means knowing

[19:57]

the visual visual concept of people's face and body and also noticing that i know the concept of breath so all that stuff's going on but i might use a subset of that to focus on and test see if i can let go of that that one thing the breath if you can or if i can realize a steady training of the attention onto the breath with no elaboration, then that non-elaborative way of dealing with the concept of breath can be extended to other things. So, maybe that's enough for starters. Okay, any questions about this practice? Yes, what's your name again? My name is Gunther. Gunther? I tried to sleep last week.

[21:01]

Yes. And I thought about a person I have a particularly difficult time with. Yes. And I found that the pain just increased as soon as I started thinking about this person. Yes. So I thought that was... Uh-huh. Did I tell you to think about this person? You said on something. Okay, so we could take that, go back to that case again. You think of a person that you have some painful feeling associated with, and probably is there maybe like the person plus the judgment about the person? Now, one possibility is just to drop the judgment. But maybe you can't. Maybe for you, this judgment is very strongly laminated to the person. But it's the judgment, I think, that's causing the pain, isn't it?

[22:04]

Yes. This person is really ugly. This person really has betrayed me. And betraying me is not a positive quality. Betraying type of person I have problems with, especially when they're betraying me. Anyways, some kind of judgment of the person. Again, I just parenthetically remind you that I said, when you first see anybody, before you judge them, they're a mirror. but then in a moment you slip into the judgment of the person and then you might not see it's about you. So now the judgment's there, now what are you going to do? If you can let go of the judgment, you may notice something will happen to you when you let go of the judgment of the person. But again, if you can't do it, one technique you could try is look at the judgment and say, is it true?

[23:12]

And, of course, you might immediately say yes. But, you know, give it a little time. And if you won't, like, notice that your judgment about somebody is a judgment about them and not really what they are, but a judgment, if you keep on that one, and you might say, well, how would I know if it were actually true? That usually will take care of it. Either you're going to have a real hard time figuring out how you would know, or if you could figure out how you would know, then because I thought it, everything I think is true. Anything besides that probably will collapse, but that probably will take care of it. But if you find out the criterion, it probably won't satisfy it. For example, some criterions could be, well, one way you could find out would be to ask them if they agree. with your judgment. Another one would be to go to somebody like me and ask me if I agree with the judgment.

[24:26]

Now that criterion would put this judgment in jeopardy to being discredited. But maybe you don't have to talk to anybody. Maybe if you just think of it, you discredit yourself. But then take one step further, because even if you discredit it, you still could be thinking it. The next step is, actually, don't stop thinking it, but just imagine what it would be like to not think of it. Imagine what you'd be like if you didn't think of that. Imagine not thinking of it. And how would you be then? Or what would you be? Or who would you be if you didn't think this way about the person, if you didn't judge him this way? Which is another way to say not being able to judge them. Which is a way to say imagine being able to not judge them. Which is a way to say imagine not getting involved in that elaboration of this concept of this person.

[25:37]

When it's a real strongly associated elaboration, you may have to do something like this may help you loosen it up to get yourself to a place where you can be like a wall, like a person who is able to imagine being really, have a really like imagination. Like you're told, this guy's name is Fred and that's it. You can't imagine any judgment about him. like Down syndrome kids, are really sweet because they can't imagine anything bad about us. But they're relieved of judgments, you know. They see like a person, oh a person, hi. That's about it. If we could be like them, we'd calm down in that way. With our equipment, with our conceptual elaboration equipment.

[26:43]

If we would put it aside the way they don't even have it, we would calm down and be ready to open to, you know, see what really we've got in front of us. So first of all, calm down with these beings, then we have access to try to find out what actually is. Another little elaboration of this, if you're still stuck on it, is turn it around and ask the question about yourself, because everybody's a mirror to you, really. So if you have this person and you make this judgment, then try to see if the judgment is true of you. And then how would you know it was true? And then what would it be like if you couldn't think that about yourself? Like, if I would think such and such a Zen student is like, you know, a lazy Zen student. Zen student is not practicing very well and then I go through imagining what I would be like if I couldn't think of any Zen student not practicing well I would like wouldn't I be a happy priest if I couldn't imagine any Zen students being lazy or practicing poorly wouldn't I be happy wouldn't I be successful but how about

[28:08]

but also that I can't even imagine that I'm not practicing well. But again, people think, wait a minute, you should be able to think you're not practicing well. I'm just imagining what it would be like if I couldn't. And imagining that way in a consistent way, the mind calms and you're open to all kinds of new possibilities. Well, first of all, you're open to new experiences and then new possibilities. Like, for example, this person you're looking at is actually you, and so on. And then who you are is actually the way this person is after you stop thinking they're somebody else. But, you know, I'm actually not recommending that you focus on a person, but rather that you just, if you've got a person that you've got a problem with, and they don't grasp that thought about them that's causing you the pain.

[29:25]

But again, if you can't stop, then try something, like I said, to work on helping you let go of it. Okay? This is like, try it. Yes. What about unconditional love? What do you mean, what about it? Well, you're talking about judgment. Yeah. And I suppose if you kind of drop all that judgment and you love them for what they are... If you love someone, you drop the judgment. That rigidity around that person. I think ideally that would be the case.

[30:31]

Well, if you love someone, that's one way to put it. Another way to put it, in the process of loving, you drop all of the judgments. But what some people do is they love certain people a lot, but they still hold on to their judgments. I mean, like some people, like some parents, I mean, their kids are like the most important thing in the world to them, but they have judgments about their kids which they hold. They love the kid, but they're not loving the kid to hold on to the judgments of them. Well, that's what I mean about unconditional love. Isn't that calling you to drop some of that judgment that you hold against? But it wouldn't, you know, yes. I think, yeah. I think, yeah, this is a way to train unconditional love, is that no matter what you see, you do the same practice.

[31:32]

Well, you're accepting that. But you're accepting of the other person, which means you're accepting, in this case, superficial awareness, you're accepting, you know, the concept you have of the other person. You're accepting what you see. You're accepting what you think. Which means if you, any kind of mental elaboration, you don't need to accept what's given. You accept what's given. You say, thank you very much, I have no complaint whatsoever. You don't say, could I have an alternative to this person? You say, thank you for this person. Yeah, that's... And if you practice that, no matter what, then it would be... If you practice it once with one person, I would say that would be love at that moment. And it's unconditional because you're going to practice it... Well, it's unconditional because you're not doing this because of the way the person looks.

[32:36]

You're just doing it that way. And if the person changes and you see them differently, you do the same practice with that new version, that new image you have of them. You accept that then. And if you have then another new rendition of them, you accept that one too. So acceptance is, yeah, you accept what's given. You accept what's given actually to your awareness which is your idea or your idea of the person. So if I have an idea now that you're a nice person, I accept that. And then if I have an idea that you're not a nice person, I accept that. So that would say that at that point then the judgment is not a... In a sense, that judgment is what's given.

[33:43]

That right away, the first thing you see is your judgment. And you accept that. Isn't that also part of, like, lack of trust? Is what a lack of trust? Judgment. In a sense, you know, ignorance... which is the basis of our experience, ignorance is, in a sense, a lack of trust. And self-concern. Pardon? Self-concern. Self-concern what? How does that relate to what I just said? When you're self-concerned, you don't trust. ...based on ignorance. You have self-concern when you think there is an independent self.

[34:49]

And if you think there's an independent self, and you hold to that independent self, then you don't trust the other. I talked a few weeks ago about the basic sin is... the split of self and other. And sin, the root of the word sin, it's a German word, I think, is sonder, the split. So the basic sin is to split. The basic sin is to have a split. And that's very close to not trusting the other. So based on basic ignorance and not trusting the other, then all kinds of things arise. So there's a lot of little Pauls raised here. I don't know who was first, but maybe we'll go in alphabetical order. Bernd? Bender.

[35:52]

From Bavaria. Yes. Yes. Does the mind ever present its own split? I don't think so. I think the split is an imagined thing. I don't think there really is a split. So the mind doesn't present the split. But the mind does present the idea that there is a split. and then says that that split is substantial, really is there. So the mind presents that, but the mind can't present the split because the split isn't really there to present. Did you want to ask another question?

[36:57]

Could you hear my answer, what I said? You understand it? Great. Yes, did you formulate another question? Like I could say, I don't know if I understand because if the mind doesn't present this to you, it's teaching. The mind doesn't present what? Teaching. The natural spirit, for example, is so important to you. If the mind doesn't present the teaching of the imagined split, is that what you said? I didn't quite, I mean, somehow I'm not following what you're saying, whether you're saying that the mind doesn't present the teaching, but you just said it, so I don't understand. If you didn't say it, then it would just present, I just heard it presented just now.

[38:04]

What do you mean, doesn't present it? How can we do what? How can we meditate? How can we talk like this? Well, I think that But that question we should postpone until you've achieved stabilization. Because we're talking about stabilization now. What you're talking about, of how things happen, is . We're not now trying to figure out how things are happening.

[39:05]

We're trying to calm down so we have access into how things happen. So your question is ahead of schedule on the meditation class. No, it's okay. But you see, that's a different kind of question. We're now on time. Actually, excuse me, but I was asking you about, do you have any questions about this practice of stabilization? That's what I'd like to hear about. Okay? And then later, when you understand stabilization practice, and hopefully are practicing it, we can start then to talk about insight practice. Things happen. Okay? That make sense? Can you wait for your... Is it okay? Because that guy behind you had his hand up before you. Yes? You said that following the breath is picking an object to focus on. It's picking a concept among... You choose one concept called the breath. What problems would there be?

[40:06]

Or is this just ridiculous? Could you pick the concept of feeling happy or being happy? as instead of the breath... Yeah. You can pick any concept. However, you probably should... When you do stabilization practices, it's usually consult with the instructor, what you're doing, before you choose your meditation topic. The breath, the concept breath, is one that works for almost everybody. What was it? Happiness is a concept that works for a lot of people, too. But actually, I don't know how many people, but a slight variation of the concept of happiness is the concept of loving-kindness. That concept also works for a lot of people as a stabilization practice. But it's not good for everybody, though. But if you would like to take a real version of that called

[41:08]

being happy as a concept, I would suggest you change it from being happy to wishing you were happy. Because if you take being happy as the concept, you know, you might sort of feel like, well, that's just a total fabrication, you might feel. you'll be able to find it. Whereas if you pick breath, occasionally you might feel like, well, I'm sure there's some breath around here somewhere. But you might feel like, I don't see any happiness nearby even. So you feel like, well, it's hard to focus on it then. Now, if you were feeling a big, high-frequency sense of happiness, then at that time it might be good to focus on it. But otherwise it would be better to focus on, may I be happy?

[42:10]

May I be happy? May I be peaceful? You don't have to be happy to wish that, and that you can focus on. So I would say, thinking of happiness, think of, may I be happy? May I be peaceful? May I be free of fear and anxiety? May I be buoyant in body and mind? That, focusing on that, and then again, not elaborating on that, just focus on that image, you can concentrate with that. Okay. And then I think it was, let's just, now we have Elena and we have, uh, Deborah and we have Judy and we have Renee and we have, um, Eric and we have what's your name again? Laura. Okay. So here we go. Elena. But I agree with you.

[43:22]

This is a kind of narrowing. So it is a training in attention. Yes. Intention? Intention? Yeah, you have to have the intention to do this practice. If there is a way to train the intention. Yeah, you can train the intention, too. Like, for example, if you don't yet want to do the practice, like, there's lots of intentions that people hear about. that the ancestors have had themselves. Like the intention to attain unsurpassed awakening for the welfare of all beings. Some people do not have that intention. So what they do is they have courses to learn to have that intention. So if you don't have the intention to practice stabilization, you could then try to have a course to develop the intention. I haven't been trying to help you have the intention.

[44:26]

So if you... If you don't have the intention, you could also bring up that you don't, which is actually a form of doubt, that you doubt that having that intention during this practice would be good. So what you do if you doubt that it would be good to do this practice, or you doubt that you want to do this practice, you're not sure if it really would be a good way to spend your life. then you should bring up the doubt and then we can like discuss it and look at the teachings and you know look at all the the good words that have been said for how excellent this practice boy i intend to do that practice you know so if you have a doubt about this practice bring it up and you know we'll bring to bear all the testimonies for thousands of years to the benefits of this practice until you're thinking that you'd like to do it. Okay? Well, let the other people go, and then if we have a second round.

[45:29]

Deborah? Today I was trying to work with this practice. Someone... came to visit me, and they were saying for two weeks that I had this new excretion. You love this person, but it's painful to be with them? Yes, very painful. I was trying just to say, this is the one for you. But it felt very superficial. Even my somatic responses, I'm having a lot of anxiety, and I feel nauseous. It's like I can work with it on a certain level, but it just feels like I'm sitting on a boat and, you know, pretending that things are nice and there's a whole storm underneath. Well, that's sort of like what Gunther brought up. If you have this pain, then what you probably should work with is, like, try to look at the pain and see where the pain are, and probably there's some judgment about this person. the somatic response won't drop away right away just by finding that the the judgment won't necessarily stop it but if you can like like first of all is it true you might get some relief if you have to if it's true

[46:44]

It's true that you're having pain. That's kind of true. It's true that you have a concept of this person. It's true that you're in pain. And is it true that you have a judgment? Now, is the judgment true? If you look at whether the judgment is true, you might be able to sort of see that it's not true and get some relief right there. I think it is true. right so so you might then try to work with is it true and then yes it's true is it true yes it's true is it true yes it's true and then i said okay i give up it's true now how about prove it try to prove it and maybe then you'll get some relief in your failure to prove it Then, if you get some relief then, and then move on to just what would it be like if I couldn't even think this judgment, if I couldn't even like make the judgment, if I couldn't even imagine the judgment, what would that be like?

[47:54]

And you maybe find out. And who would you be if you couldn't do that? So you'd be a different person because you are somebody who can imagine that and think it's true. But how about if you couldn't even think the judgment in the first place? Try that person on. See what happens then. It's kind of scary not to imagine yourself not even be able to... Like somebody coming in there, you know? Like people often get scared of this. They say, somebody's coming in who's really a bad person and I need to be able to imagine that they're bad. Otherwise, how would I defend myself if I couldn't like imagine them as bad? So judgments protect us from people, which is sort of what Jackie was saying. Because we don't trust the person, we think we need a set of judgments to protect us so we'll be able to whatever, punch them or run away or try that.

[48:57]

And then remember also then to switch over to the other side. Does this judgment apply to you? and how is it true that it applies to you when you apply it to yourself and then is it true you know it's true and then also what would it be like if you couldn't think of this about yourself in fact we can think this about ourselves that's how we can think of it of other people Anyway, you might try that, if this is really... But still, this is like practice in the daily life, which I want us all to be able to do, but that's a pretty tough first course. We're talking about, you know, starting with something like the breath, which usually we don't make judgments of the breath that we feel quite so terrified of, other than there's no breath.

[49:58]

Okay? Okay? And Judy? The point of focus is not neutral as in breath. Yeah. I would suggest that you do not pick your points of focus without consultation. If you're going to choose something besides breath or... Just not mentally elaborating on anything you see. If you're going to choose something else other than... If you're going to choose something other than just a mind like a wall that doesn't get involved in anything it sees, hears, thinks, you should get some support from your meditation teacher. Do not pick non-neutral things without, you know, consultation. I would suggest.

[51:04]

Renee? It's a practice question. I notice that when I'm... Is your... Well, I don't know how I do it when I... Excuse me, I take back non-neutral. I would say negative. It's okay to use positive. It's my question, actually. Okay. An example would be full self-expression. For example, to have that as focus. No. Not for concentration. For insight practice. Not for concentration. That is a positive thing, but that's not for this level of meditation. Yes? When I'm doing something physical, like chopping a carrot... Yes, yes, when you're chopping a carrot. ...that there is a certain way that I project a force, and I do, and then I feel tired. Yeah, so that's a kind of conceptual elaboration of carrot cutting. Right.

[52:10]

But not just carrot cutting, it's anything. Right, right, yeah. Shoveling, talking, walking, sitting. So, you know, basically sitting. without any elaboration of the sitting is another practice like this just sitting that's what just sitting means it means just sitting it means like i can't think anything more to say about it and i can't even like do it or put any energy into it i mean you could but that's that tires you out and destabilizes you When I notice the force, in the moment that I notice the force, then I say to myself, okay, don't apply force. Same thing. Same thing, I know. That's my experience. It becomes the same thing. When I try not to be forced, I'm not supposed to be forced to, I feel. Okay, it's probably better to be forceful, and then it's clear. I'm putting extra weight into... I'm putting extra weight onto this thing, and I'm getting tired, and I can see the reason why I got tired is because I'm, like, tensing, contracting around this, rather than, like, just the activity.

[53:23]

Make space for it. But then I try to make space for it. Yeah. And that becomes an effort. Yeah, so then you can see that that's not it either. What is it? It's not trying to grasp it. Like, what is it? Not knowing what it is is part of it. It's like to be with the carrot and not know how to be with the carrot. It's like that. How do you not know how to be with the carrot? You know how to not be. You know how to not know how to be with the carrot. You've already got that down. But you're trying to find out how to be with the carrot. So give that up and just like be a dumb carrot cutter. Yes, Eric? I understand why in normal sort of superficial awareness things that we think are sensory experience are merely concepts. Right. When you're at access consciousness, what is the nature of sensation at that point?

[54:29]

Is it still conceptual or do you at that point have access to direct non-conceptual sensation? You still have the conceptual realm. You can still have a concept of the breath, but you develop intimacy and tap into the direct sensory experience of those physical phenomena which we reinterpret as breath. You tap into the actual body-mind way of being. That includes all the things that compose the actual experience of breathing. So then this is a step towards integration of your different realms of psyche. And it's also part of calm. It's part of calm at that point. It's part of the reason why you calm down is that the mind is no longer so alienated. That's part of the calming at this point. And if you were to go into these higher states of trance, you can actually uh you will actually be inhib that you start to inhibit input into the conceptual and the sensory realm but i'm not going to i probably won't get into that for a long time here these higher realms because i i want to move probably into the insight from access what so when we develop some sense of access and integration

[55:55]

of the realms of consciousness, then I want to start moving into insight. But I think, you know, we're not there yet. Laura? Yeah, recently I finally had a sense of stability and calmness. Yes. Spaciousness. Yes. And then I got so excited about it. I mean, I really have, I felt, it was wonderful. Yes. And then I kept noticing that my level of excitement would rise about it. Yes. So I would try to go back to my ground, but it felt not quite natural. So, you know, I remember just finding this ever... Did you say every time you have a sense of relief you get more excited?

[57:00]

Once I recognize the difference between feeling calm and how I felt before, become more spacious. As soon as I notice it, I don't want to let it go. I want to keep it. And so, this is my strategy, how to do that. Right. It's past nine, but I'd like you to bring that up next time. And the one parting remark I'd like to give you is that through concentration practice when you attain mental state the mind is such that actually you become free of affliction but this freedom from affliction is temporary permanent freedom from affliction comes through insight but actually even in this access level of concentration in the highest states the afflictions are so

[58:04]

diminished that some people misconstrue it as enlightenment. But it's temporary. The permanent, or the, I shouldn't say permanent, but the irrevocable non-freedom from affliction must be where concentration is conjoined with insight. At least this access level of concentration is conjoined with insight. And then part of the problems that occur in concentration practice is thinking that that's all you have to do and it about success and depressed about lack of success and so We can talk about that more later about the excitement that comes with the excitement that successful meditators are afflicted by It's an aspect of you know, extensive field of meditation sicknesses which only people who are meditating get.

[59:07]

And, you know, they're not so familiar to people, but they're serious problems on the path. But we can talk more about that particular thing next time. In the meantime, Give it a try. It's particularly, I recommend doing it when you're, when you set aside some situation where you feel okay if you do not conceptually elaborate on what's happening. When you feel like, you know, your spouse or your children are really letting you to do that. Even if it's for a short time, maybe five minutes actually is pretty good to really like let go of Let go of what not grasps in your mind for just a little while. Now and then. Riding the bus is probably a good time too. Not when you're driving yourself, probably. It kind of... When you're first learning this, it's not good to do this while you're driving your car, probably.

[60:17]

or walking on the Francisco streets, you know, particularly crossing the street. In fact, do it in the park, or when you're walking in the park, or sitting in the Zendo is pretty good. So please try it, and bring your experiences and your questions, and we can hopefully develop some skill with this. Okay? It's, you know, it In case you haven't been convinced, it really is a good way to start on the path to become a Buddha, this practice of concentration.

[60:59]

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