Okay, so we're studying Case 49, right? Excuse me. Did you tell us to just read the case at the beginning? Did I tell you to read just the case? Yes. What happened? I was thinking about how to study this case. And so did you people read the case and not the commentary? Yes.

[01:07]

Well. In that case, let's read the case and not comment. Shall we? As Dungshan was presenting an offering before the image of Yunnan, he retold the story from before about depicting reality. A monk came forward and said, when Yunnan said, just this is it, what did he mean? Dongshan said, at that time I nearly misunderstood my late teacher's meaning. The monk said, did Yunyan himself know it or not? Dongshan said, if he didn't know it, if he didn't know it is, how would he be able to say this? If he did know it is, how could he be willing to say this? So that's the story.

[02:39]

Now without, you know, just with that, what's happening with that? How are you doing? Rachel, what's your take on it? I'm completely confused. Completely confused? This is the first time I've had it. First time you looked at it, just completely confused. How about you, Rachel? Well, confused, like nothing happened, some confusion arose. What's the confusion about? I don't know what it's trying to get across. What is the point? Do you feel the same way with Rachel number two?

[03:46]

I don't. She's not used to it using words. Huh-huh. What is it? Yeah, it is. I added a line. You added a line? Oh, what was that? I can't really see it very well. I'll read to you. Dungshan said, At that time, I nearly misunderstood my late master's. That's where I had to lie. What did you say? I said, well, at that time, I nearly misunderstood my late teacher's teaching, and now I totally misunderstand. That's why I wonder about why they put teachers' meaning each in their own life.

[05:07]

I think it's probably cut and paste kind of thing. Is that the way it is in your book? Well, there are some mistakes in this book in terms of things like, you know, just printing mistakes. I think there's a mistake. I would be on the same line myself, save space. Would anyone like to entertain us with some comments on this case? It seems like... It's not, I mean, this last thing here about knowing, or it seems like it's just screwing you up. It really isn't about knowing. This is it. That's it. That's it.

[06:09]

It's just sort of, just sort of, maybe that's sort of accentuated, like really telling you it isn't about knowing. That's what I got. I thought it was maybe about doing. Since Dongshan is presenting offerings, and yet it's not something that can be depicted or drawn, but he's doing it anyway. So it's not in the realm of knowing or not knowing, but it seems to be in the realm of doing. Well, actually, I think he ought to be ashamed of himself from saying a thing in the first place. But people don't get it unless he says something.

[07:16]

Who is he? The other man. We're saying that in the first place. However, if he didn't say it, he's not bringing the teaching for us. People don't get it if he's just quiet. Usually they don't. Okay. I think in the last two lines, I think there might be a clue if the word able is emphasized in the second and the last line and the word willing is emphasized in the last line. So that if he did know it is, then he probably wouldn't be willing to talk about it. And if he didn't know it, then he wouldn't have been able to say anything.

[08:19]

I think it would have been helpful to have done this story. Helpful to whom? Did you read the story? No, you said not to. Well, I appreciate you doing as I asked. And we're going to read the story in just a little while. But I wanted to see what you do without reading the story. Because the story is so great. There's such great stories here that it's very... tempting to rely on the stories. So it's nice to see what you make of this case before you hear these wonderful stories. So I can see how you would definitely feel it's helpful, and I think it would be helpful to hear the stories too. The stories are helpful, but there's a problem with the stories.

[09:24]

They're so helpful. You'll see, you're going to have real problems after you get these helpful stories. Grace? I don't know about other people, but, you know, there's not a sort of... I don't have a visceral reaction to this. It seems like a whole moment. I mean, if you say that, but... I'm not deeply moved. I don't vibrate with the story. I don't vibrate with the dialogue right here. We've had a lot of this dialogue before, and I can't feel the tension in it, really. We've had a lot of what dialogue before? Well, I mean, just this is it. I think we've heard that in other places in this text. But this is just very personal, that for whatever reason, I don't feel the tension here.

[10:29]

I'm not. I feel that other people may well feel it, which definitely makes anyone want to move to the story. Because maybe that will make me feel attachment, probably missing the thing I may not. It seems very kind of, you know, it's not, it's almost like a geometric equation that is put in court. Thank you. Michelle? I'm wondering, in relationship to the offering, if he's speaking about beyond the physical offering of actually referring himself to the person wanting to bring beyond the offering. We'll sort of enact that so you can see what that is and see what your question is after we enact the scene. Okay, Raj? To me, the key line is, at that time, I nearly misunderstood by my teacher's meeting because, for me, when I first read it, I kind of put myself into the place of John Chan and Abbey.

[11:44]

and feel like, oh, I understand this. It's just, like what Grace said, it's just, oh, this is it. And I know that. And it's like that line is saying, the meaning is beyond that. It's not what you think. It's beyond that. Because, I mean, Don Sean was not even, was not been a total fool. I mean, he was certainly on a path. Mm-hmm. So he was, even then he could see it's just a little bit, it's a little bit subtler than just, just this is it. Uh-huh. Yes. It's almost like saying it's always just beyond. You can't just point that. It's always just beyond. You're always going to just barely. Uh-huh. Don't misunderstand the meaning. Uh-huh. Yeah. This, this point is, um, Maybe the nice thing about this story is that it brings up this point that there's nothing here, so obviously it's not here.

[12:51]

There's so little here that you're sensing that. But once you get the rest of the story, then you'll think you've got it. Whereas now you realize you don't. Yes. What Adam was going back to is the words in the beginning. He's offering before the image of you, you know, and then he told the story before about depicting reality, which is also a way of making an image of reality. So, and then I knew when he started to violate teacher's leanings, that we, in some way, revolves for me about image and depiction of reality, which is not it, which is an image of all.

[13:52]

So it's an image of his late teacher and it's an image. It's a story that is already also an image in a way of what happened. And so it's about images, about images, about images. And where is, where is it? I mean, the image always misunderstands it. Misses it, the world exists. In contrast to Grace, there was a woman who's actually in the story. house has to do with second-line he says he told the story levels it is my first reaction was I don't understand it because I don't know the background I don't know the story mm-hmm

[14:53]

Me trying not to read the rest, trying not to get the story, I thought was good in a way for me because it just points out we need always listening something. Like in every experience, I miss something. Whenever I listen to people, I miss something. And usually I don't sing with that because I have this strong will to know. Because that will express the fact that I always miss things. Right now I'm talking about what I've said. In the way it's about doubt. In the way what? I'm saying in the way it's about doubt. It's about what you miss all the time. Yeah. And Raj is saying it's about, for him, it tips him off to sort of, that it's always beyond what we're working on, in a sense.

[16:00]

And it brings up that issue. Well, this particular case, you see, was offered in this form. And... It's a fairly short story which refers to which abbreviates even in the story it abbreviates itself because it says he retold a story from before but he didn't retell it. He even They shorten the thing, and then what it refers to is also something that he probably was expanded on what he probably told. And even the punchline is condensed in the story, which you'll see.

[17:03]

So one possibility is that this story is addressing people who already know the story really well. That's one possibility. So this tips them off and it brings in a whole background story to them. That's a possibility. However, that doesn't make complete sense because in the following commentary they tell you the story. But it will be interesting for you now to watch what happens to your mind as you hear the stories. Try to... Try to watch what happens to your mind as the background starts to fill in. It will be very difficult to keep track of it because it will come in gradually.

[18:09]

The two things will happen. One is you'll probably find the story interesting and get interested in the story. But also your understanding of this story will start to change. so it'll become a complex event. Try to see what you can watch and see if you can keep track of all that's happening to you as you hear the story and also as this story starts to change. Can I ask, who wrote the commentary and who was it here for? This book started out, it was written by You know, we have this lineage coming down to our temple right here. It's the lineage coming from the people in this story are the founders of our lineage. There's many Zen teachers in China, but these people just happen to be in this story in our lineage. Yunyuan and Dengshan are the founders in China of our particular Zen lineage.

[19:14]

It just happens to be tonight that we have them here in this story. Yuen Yuen is not directly in this story, but he's referred to in the story. Then this lineage comes down about 300 more years, no, yeah, about 300 more years, 200 or 300 more years in China. And there comes a very important Zen teacher whose name is Tian Tong, Hong Zhur, Zhong Zhurui. And he's the person who collected the stories of this book. He collected his favorite 100 Zen stories and made a collection. And for each story, he wrote a verse. So in this case, the story is a story chosen by the Zen teacher who we call, in his book, he's called Tian Tong. He chose the story, he wrote it out, and then he wrote the verse here. And that's the case of all the whole book.

[20:16]

He chose the story, he wrote the verse. He chose the story, he wrote the verse. About 50 years later, another Zen monk in this lineage wrote an introduction to the story. And then what is traditional is he wrote a line by line short comments. After each line of the story, he wrote a short comment, which are in the back of the story. and his name is Ten Thousand Pines. So he wrote the introduction, then he wrote little short comments between each line of the story, then he wrote the discursive commentary afterwards, like this one where he tells background information and so on, and his comments, and then he also makes a line-by-line comment on the poem, and then he also writes a commentary on the poem. So every case is like that. One teacher presents the story, and writes a verse celebrating the story. Another teacher writes an introduction, line by line comment on the story, commentary, line by line comment on the verse, and commentary.

[21:20]

This is the same way that Blue Cliff Record is composed. And this is a traditional way for Chinese text to be commented on. You take a text, and then you write the original text in big letters. big letters like this, you write a line of big letters, and you write some number of lines in little letters, in letters about half the size of the big letters. So you see these big letters coming down the page, and then you see these little letters going, big letters, and then little letters, big letters, and then Then, after the line-by-line comment, they switch into a, you know, just plain commentary. And then they do the same with the verse, the verse. This is a traditional way Chinese commented on some other teacher's teaching. And the Indians did that way, too. But I don't know if the Sanskrit commentaries they wrote smaller or not.

[22:25]

And I think in the West, sometimes they write the original text in red, and the commentary in black. So the person who wrote the commentary then knew, had some way of knowing the pieces that were left out? Yeah. And the person who selected the cases and wrote the verses, he was a well-educated Chinese monk. And so a lot of his poetry has lots of Chinese literary and historical references. But he doesn't tell you the reference, he just puts the poem out there. And Ten Thousand Pines comes in and oftentimes he explains to you the story that's being referred to. Like last week, we had the thing about the legs being cut off. And then he told the story about, he told that story. And we had the story about the snake presenting the jewel. He told the story. He knew the story. But we could assume that during this actual case, that the people they're talking to in the actual case did know the story.

[23:31]

In the actual case, the people who were being talked to knew the story? In the actual case that we're reading, Dungshan told the people the story. So what happened was, see, it was a memorial service. The scene of this case is a memorial service, like we have here for Suzuki Roshi. So he's going up there and he's making the offerings, right? But while he was making the offerings, as he was making the offerings, he told the story while he's making the offerings. And the monks are there, standing around him while he's making the offerings, and he's telling a story about his teacher, which will now go over. So he told his story. So here's the story. So it's like, I'll be Dungshan, right? So I'm doing a memorial service with you monks, and I'm making these offerings to the picture of my teacher, painting of my teacher. And while I'm making the offerings, I tell you this story.

[24:40]

When I was about to leave my teacher, after studying with him for many years, I asked him before I left, If after many years someone should ask if I'm able to portray a likeness of my teacher, how should I respond? I said this to my teacher. And he said, after remaining quiet for a while, he said, just this person. That's what he actually said. But they abbreviated it to just this. But actually the original was just this person. Some of you might say, why didn't you tell me this before? But in fact, they decided to abbreviate it in the stories.

[25:41]

So, again, as I was about to leave my teacher, I said to him, If after many years, in other words, if after you're dead, someone should ask if I would be able to portray a likeness of my Master. If I would be able to portray a likeness of my Master. So see what he's doing? He's standing in front of a likeness of his Master, right? Making offerings to a likeness of his Master. And he said, when I was about to leave my master, I asked him, if after you died, someone asked me if I would be able to portray a likeness of you, what should I say? And what did he say? He said, just this person. That was his answer. And I...

[26:43]

I was, you know, I was lost in thought at that time. And my teacher said, Jye, Acharya, you know, Master Jye, that Dengshan's teacher called him Master Jye. His name was Dengshan Liang Jye. Jye. Which also, his name was Good Servant. So he called him servant, actually. But master servant. He called him master servant. Master servant. Having assumed the burden of this great matter, you must be very cautious. Or you must be very thoroughgoing. Now, could you follow that?

[28:07]

Can you follow that? You can? Everybody can follow that? So, would someone please say it back to me? Why don't you all say it back to me in unison? Okay? When I was about to leave my master, I asked him, if after you died, if someone were to ask me if I could portray a likeness of you, what should I say? My master said, just this person. I was lost in thought, and after a while he said, Servant master. Master servant. Now that you've assumed the burden of the great matter, you must be thoroughgoing.

[29:12]

Thoroughgoing. Cautious. Cautious or thoroughgoing. I think in the book here that you have it says thoroughgoing. Okay? So you got that in your mind now? So that's Yang Yang that was said. That last part, Yun Yan. Yun Yan. Yun Yan just said this to Deng Shang. Now, for more information to you, is that the expression, just this person, is an expression that a criminal uses when confessing guilt in court. What is what he says?

[30:14]

Just this person is an abbreviation for just this man of Han, And this is a, originally, this phrase was used, was a phrase by which a criminal formally confessed to guilt in court. This phrase that the master used. Like if somebody asked him, did you do it or who did it? And you would say, who committed this crime? Just this person. That would be the formal way of saying it in court. That's what the master chose. to tell his student, if someone asks him later, to portray a likeness of it. Now, then Dung Shan is kind of thinking, you know what? And then, Yuen Yan says to him, you know, master student, master servant, now that you've assumed the burden,

[31:22]

of the great matter. And the term assume the burden is also an expression which means the criminal acknowledges the crime and personally accepts responsibility for it. Now that you've acknowledged the crime and personally accept responsibility for it, for the great matter, He must be thoroughgoing. Okay? And then, and then after that, Dungshan still was kind of dubious. What does it say in that translation? He left without saying anything. He wasn't clear after his teacher said that to him.

[32:25]

And he starts walking. This is the big walk. And he comes to a river. And as he's crossing the river, he looks down in the water and sees his reflection. And he wakes up. He'd been awakened before in smaller ways over a period of a number of years, but this was his great awakening. That's very interesting because it reminds me of Narcissus looking at himself and just the opposite thing. Yes, well, Narcissus didn't have any instruction beforehand. Not that we know of. Well, not that we know of, or if it was, it didn't seem to help him. When you meet this person, when you meet just this person, it's good to have some instruction beforehand.

[33:32]

so that you don't get even more deeply enchanted than you already are. Notice some of the protective qualities of the previous instruction. Just this person. Teacher, how should I depict you? Just this person, in other words. And in the language of I'm the guilty one. It's me. And now you have assumed the burden. Now you're carrying the guilt. Now you're the criminal of the great matter. You have to be careful and cautious now. He leaves with that. And then he sees his picture in the water. His reflection in the water.

[34:33]

And he wakes up, and then he sings this song. Earnestly avoiding, seeking without, lest it proceed far from without. Why don't you read what you have first. Just don't seek from outside. Okay, and if you want to memorize this poem, you can change, if you want to, you can change it to him or her. You know. The women can change it to her or to him. The men can change it to her or to him. You can do whatever you want. You can change the gender if you want to.

[35:36]

Or you can leave it as it. So this is what he said upon awakening. Here's another translation. Earnestly avoid seeking outside, lest it recede far from oneself. Today I am walking alone, Yet everywhere I meet him. He is now no other than myself, but I am not now him. It must be understood in this way and thus be fused with thusness. It must be understood in this way in order to be fused with thusness. Or the other way would be it must be understood this way and thus fused with thusness.

[36:39]

So there's many ways to read this story. There's a few ways to read this verse. One is that the him he's talking about is his teacher. And the him he's talking about is his teacher who goes with him wherever he goes. And yet he walks alone. I walk alone. And he's with me wherever I go. Everywhere I meet him. And I walk alone. I am not him. He is now me. Or he, I walk alone without him and he goes with me everywhere, the he or the she is you. Or it's not you or me or anything, it's it. There's all these possibilities. And the Chinese actually doesn't have the gender on there. So different translators will choose he, she or it.

[37:45]

And all of them are possible. just like who you really are, could be he, she, or it. So he tells the story, I think when he, I would guess that when he told the story in the offering, he just stopped at the part where the teacher said, just this is it. And whether he said at that time to the monks, just this, I think he probably said, just this person. And that's probably where he stopped. He probably didn't tell the rest of the story, but I'm not sure. And then the monk asks the question, okay, how are you doing? Where are you now? What's happened to you? How are you feeling? Yes. Question, when you said, can be him or she, or can be the teacher, could it also be himself?

[38:52]

Yes. But he's not identifying with himself, so he meets wherever he goes. Yeah, he could be himself, right. I'm walking alone, and I meet him wherever I go. The him I meet, I'm walking alone, right? But wherever I meet, I meet myself. Wherever I go, I meet myself. And yet I walk alone. I walk without myself. People walk without themselves. And when they walk without themselves, wherever they go, they meet themselves. You know? That's also true. Like this... This man came, this friend of Suzuki Roshi's, or student of Suzuki Roshi's, came to Zen Center one time and did a sculpture of Suzuki Roshi. And when he finished the sculpture, Katagiri Roshi said, it looks like the sculptor. Didn't look like Suzuki Roshi.

[40:00]

And then, I think he said, I'm not sure he said this, but I think he said this, He tried to make it look like Suzuki Roshi, so it wound up looking like himself. If you try to make it look like yourself, it'll wind up looking like Suzuki Roshi. That's what I said. If you just try to make a sculpture of me and try to make it look like yourself, it'll wind up looking like me. Yes, Misha? Would you say that again, please? So is this story about us not identifying with the physical presence, the painting, this is it, owning oneself.

[41:01]

And when we do identify with our physical presence, we're actually in some sort of separate place from being one with the all. You're definitely in the ballpark, but you're sort of a little bit, you know what I call it, out of bounds. You're out. But you're close. You're in the bed. It's actually what this story is about is about we do identify with our physical presence. We do. We think we are our physical presence. We think we are our mental presence. We do that. So, just as person means... you know, I acknowledge that I think I'm just this person. This story is about acknowledging that you think you're who you are. This story is about accepting the burden and the responsibility for the crime that you have committed.

[42:09]

The name of this game is accept responsibility for your crimes. If you want to know, if you want to depict the teacher in this lineage, tell him the teacher was that criminal, was just that criminal, was nothing more than that criminal. The teacher was nothing more than that criminal. Now you accept the burden of the great matter of carrying on the tradition of criminality. But not just criminality, but acknowledgement of the crime. By acknowledging the crime, the crime It's the crime taking as oneself, as the individual, or the... The crime is identifying yourself with your own body, or identify your own body with yourself. That's the crime. The crime is to construe your experience as the self, as you. Well, that's kind of what I was trying to say.

[43:12]

Well, I wouldn't be telling somebody in the parking lot that they were out. Okay. But if you're in the baseball field and you're over the line, you're out. But I said you were close. Close but out. Well, this wasn't, you weren't a batter. That was like a foul for me. I don't know if, without accounting for the last two lines, one can call it an out. Pardon? I don't know. Without accounting for the last two lines, it doesn't feel the game has reached a moment, or one can declare a batter out. Well, I'm the umpire. And you can argue with the umpire, as long as you don't get too rough.

[44:15]

But also, calling it out does not mean the game's over. But I get to call outs. It seemed to me that the piece was about the problematics of assuming the position of umpire. Pardon? It seemed to me that the piece was about the problematics of assuming the position of umpire. Yes, it is. And I am the umpire. It's just this umpire. That's right. You want to be my disciple, then you have to be given the same trouble. Which means we're all umpires. Oh, it means you're all criminals. But the point is that if you assume responsibility for your crimes, you can be liberated. If you refuse to accept the responsibility for your crimes, you cannot be liberated. So once you accept responsibility that everywhere you go, you either forget about yourself and you're alone, in other words, you carry yourself and you don't admit it, or you do carry yourself and you're alone, you work with that dynamic.

[45:26]

If you're working with that dynamic, it's possible then to realize the dynamic, you see, I am now it, it is not me. And live and live and really feel that. And he says, you must be understood in this way in order to merge with thusness. And it's not merging with like, you know, oneness or twoness. But thusness is a dynamic relationship between the fact that we're separate, that we identify with this and not that, but also that we're interconnected. So this is the background story. This is the background story, okay? Now, at some point, we can go back to the koan here. This is the background story. Oh, what's happening?

[46:50]

How are you doing? Shall we end the class? Are all these stories about dependent core rising? Pardon? Are all these stories about dependent core rising? They're all stories about dependent core rising, but sometimes they're just stories about how the dependent core rising of people not understanding dependent core rising. Ah. Which crime story is this? Could you read the first year? Earnestly avoid seeking outside. Earnestly avoid seeking outside. Lest it recede far from oneself. Today I am walking alone, yet everywhere I meet him.

[47:55]

He is now no other than myself, but I am not now him. It must be understood in this way and thus be fused with suchness. I think those first two lines are about, um, at that time I nearly misunderstood the teaching. You mean earnestly avoid? Seeking outside, for it lest it will recede far. I don't know, but I think those two lines, um... They're about nearly misunderstanding? Yeah. Uh-huh. You mean, um, when the teacher spoke to him, he almost... sought outside for the answer, for the meaning, and therefore almost lost the teacher's meaning?

[49:03]

See, that's kind of an art, whether you would earnestly ask a teacher a question, but also earnestly avoid seeking the answer from the teacher as outside you. That's very hard to do because why would you go to talk to somebody unless you thought that somebody was worth talking to? But as soon as you think they're worth talking to, you tend to put them outside yourself a little bit. But then the very person who you most would tend to put you outside yourself, you most have to not put outside yourself and not trying to get anything from the person who you most recognize as someone outside yourself. So it is hard. Apparently he didn't misunderstand his teacher because I guess he didn't seek outside even though he asked his teacher, even though he said, if someone asked me later on, if I could make a likeness of you, what should I say?

[50:18]

Ask somebody that question, to talk to somebody like that without seeking outside at that time. Wouldn't that be... Wouldn't that be... Wouldn't that be something, to be able to do that? I mean, sincerely, like, you know, and you're actually going away from your teacher now. You're leaving, you're saying bye-bye, and then you say, can you feel that, how that could be heart-rending? Mary Ellen, is it? Mary Beth. Mary Beth? keep tracking on with just this person. And I think about the images that he was in front of and that he was asking the master for an image. And I think that the image is himself. The image is himself? Because the master asked him

[51:19]

He asked the Master, if someone asked you, what should I say? He'd say, just this person, as though he were in the voice of the spirit. That's what you should say, is just this person, I and him. Yes, see, that's also going on, isn't it? So someone would say, if someone asked me about my teacher, could I create a portrayal likeness of my teacher? I would say, just this person. In which case, they could think that I was talking about that I'm the likeness of my teacher, but also they could take it as they, being just themselves, is my teacher. If I say to you just this person, then you understand that my teacher is you taking responsibility for yourself. That's actually my teacher. And in fact, by coincidence, that is my teacher, too. My teacher is you.

[52:20]

taking responsibility for your crimes, that's my teacher. That's the real teacher, that's my teacher. And if you don't take responsibility for your crimes, of your identification with yourself as yourself, then my teacher is not exact, there's nothing to my teacher in a way at that time. You make my teacher a failure. And I guess I'm a failed middleman between you and my teacher. On the other hand, if you would assume responsibility for your crime of thinking that you're an independent person, then I'm a successful conveyor of my teacher to you. And my teacher is a successful conveyor of dungshan to you. So we're all, at every moment, all of us are doing this, just this person to our students, to ourself, and to our teacher.

[53:27]

From our teacher, to our students, from our students, back to our teachers. All this stuff is going in multi-dimensions around this responsibility for this limited person here who has to, in some sense, be this kind of deluded person who thinks he's a this or a that, And you might say, well, I, you know, try to avoid, you know, being this. Instead of being an umpire, try to be an owner or a pitcher or a newscaster or a fan or something like that. Try to somehow get out of this responsibility, get into a better position. Bruce?

[54:31]

It seems like the whole case so far seems to kind of revolve around the idea of reflection. It seems like there are these reflections all the way through. Yes. There's a reflection of the integrity of Jung-Yong and the criminality of Jung-Yong. Then there's the reflection of the misunderstanding or the understanding of Jung-Yong, the reflection of the knowing and the not knowing or the being able or being willing of Jung-Yong. And to portray the likenesses and portraying the likenesses. Right. And so the reflection is like this hole of mirrors. And what happens is when Dungshan looks into the water, it's like he gets this flash of insight in which he sees all these reflections at once.

[55:35]

Something like that is not getting at this. Yeah. And in the commentary... I mean, in the verse, there's a jewel mirror in the verse, right? And you can see in the commentary that the Yun Yan said that Dung Shan, I have now given you, you have now realized the jewel mirror. I mean, it is the awareness of the jewel mirror which is transmitted. So then Deng Xia wrote a song of the awareness of the jewel mirror, which we chant here. The song of the jewel mirror synonym. The song of the awareness of the jewel mirror. The jewel mirror is the awareness of the jewel mirror. For me, this is the jewel mirror. You are all my jewel mirror.

[56:39]

The question is, am I aware of that? and is what I say my song of my awareness of this jewel mirror. And for each of you, all of us, are your jewel mirror. Do you have the awareness of the jewel mirror? When I read these lines of it now is me and I now am not it, I think of it now is me being like the miry things coming forth and revealing me, whereas I now am not it, because if it's I first, then it's me differing the miry things.

[57:57]

Mm-hmm. All right. That's another expression of the jewel mirror. Could you say that again, because this is the one line that I keep going over it, and I think I understand it, but I don't. Could who say what over it? Charlie said it? Yeah, could you say it again? Um, so, You Are Not It is, like, uh, um... Yeah, I understand. Let's take a look for it. That part is like, um, you can't be it because, um, that would be you, um, um, confirming it, um, coming from a place of you. Whereas, but it is you, um, it being everything confirming you.

[59:02]

One is coming from this place of this limited me, and one is coming from all I am is everything else. This case has reminded me of how we knew the names. When I first started coming to the streets, I hated the name. I almost didn't know quite what to do with that one. They thought I should tell you and I thought that because it felt to me like an action of ego. such strong ego mania that you were trying to tell us how wonderfully you are, first of all, that you can remember everybody's name, as we were sitting here feeling wonderful if you remember our name, and not so wonderful if you didn't, and the whole thing seems so un-Buddhist.

[60:22]

This story makes me think that when we do the names, it's almost like a feeling of this is me, but it's not me. And the naming of each person is... It's very strange. It's kind of like, why are we naming ourselves? Is this really who we are? Do I know what you mean? Yes. It's like a hot potato, and everybody has to feel the heat.

[61:24]

That too. It's the same heat. Well, actually, everybody's carrying a hot potato, but most people don't feel it most of the time. You're carrying the hot potato of your belief in yourself. So if you feel the heat of the belief in yourself for a second there when you say your name and then when everybody else says your name and you feel it, I say, good. Good that you feel it. And if we do un-Buddhist things here, I say that's good because most Buddhists are totally, do not believe in Buddhism, but they don't admit it. Of course, non-Buddhists also don't believe in Buddhism. In other words, people actually think that Buddhist teaching is wrong. They hear about it and they say, oh, that sounds right, you know, interdependence and all that. But actually, deep down, they totally disagree. This class is an opportunity to come clean and say, just this person, I'm the one, I'm the one, I'm the only one.

[62:32]

I'm the seventh son. You know, admit it. Admit that you don't believe these teachings of interdependence. If you can admit that you don't believe it, you can become free of your beliefs. If you don't admit your beliefs, you'll be imprisoned forever in those beliefs. But if you admit them and you tell us, you know, that you really think you're independent of us, and better than us and all that, then you can become free of that. Because once you start talking about it, it becomes very clear what it is. But that's not very Buddhist to admit that you're not Buddhist, right? But in fact, it is Buddhist to admit that you're not Buddhist. In other words, it's Buddhist to tell the truth, but to tell the truth about disagreeing with Buddhism, can that be part of Buddhism? Yes, it's called confession of the truth. It's called confession.

[63:33]

It's called just this person. I did it. And then you feel that heat. You feel that heat of that guilt of believing in your independence. And then it cools off. Then admit it again, and it comes back. Back and forth until you get familiar with your beliefs in yourself. I am not it. It's me. I'm alone. I'm with it all the time. This back and forth, this tension between forgetting yourself or denying yourself and remembering that you're holding on to what you deny, this dynamic. And when you talk to somebody, talk to them without reaching out to get something outside. Try to understand the reason why you want to talk to this person is because they remind you of somebody who you care about so much but you can't see except by looking in the mirror because one person you can't see is the one who's most important for you to see and you know all about this person but you can't see it and you want to know so you look in the mirror and then you see but you forget and so on

[65:02]

Personally, the only way we can really see ourselves is through seeing other people. The only way we can see ourselves is through others. Is that how we love ourselves also? Is by loving others? Well, we can love ourselves without loving others. But what we love is... you know, just a dream of ourselves. We can't actually, you know, we can't actually find what it is we love, but we basically love it in theory. If we ever find it, we would love it. We think, even though we don't know what it is. So the first stage, you know, in some sense of extending your love of yourself is to love others. And by loving others, you can start to, that will help you admit that it's all basically self-love.

[66:17]

Now, wouldn't that be a terrible crime to admit to? Or maybe just some people have to admit to that crime because others are innocent. And isn't it a coincidence that you happen to be one of the innocent? Of all people, it turned out that I was innocent. I mean, you know, it's kind of funny, it's kind of surprising, but what can I say? It turned out that way. And there's a few other people I'll let in on this club. But anyway, the lineage of dungshan is of the lineage of the guilty ones, right? Not the innocent, the guilty. But there is an innocence in admitting your guilt.

[67:20]

There is a child-likeness in just saying, okay, you know. And funny thing is, this dungshan was like that from the time he was a kid. You know, we chant the Heart Sutra in the morning, it says, no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind, right? Also, that would mean no self, no self, no other, no suffering, no origination of suffering, no stopping of suffering, no path. When he heard that, he said, hey, wait a minute, I got eyes, I got a nose, I got ears. When he was a kid, you know? He said, wait a minute, I'm guilty. I got this stuff that the Tarsier said we don't have. And his teacher thought, you know, usually the way that they tell the story is the teacher thought, you know, I can't be this kid's teacher.

[68:23]

You know, like he's too advanced for me. But now he sees that the reason why he didn't want the kid, because the kid was too evil for him. even ones with a bad kid, that disagreed with the Heart Sutra. You know, Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva saw all five skandhas were empty, and this kid disagrees with Avalokiteshvara. Oh, the great Buddha, the Bodhisattva, infinite compassion, says everything's empty, but I don't think so. I think you should study someplace else, kid. In other words, I can't handle an honest person. Of course, most of us just sit in his head and say, no eyes, no ears. That's cool. Far out, but, you know. I'm not going to argue with it. Of course, now you think, well, I would argue with it, but I don't want to copy a little kid. He's already so...

[69:27]

But basically, how come we don't admit that we disagree with Buddhist teaching? We're scared. Yeah, we're scared. We're scared. We might get kicked out if we disagree, right? Especially with such a lofty and obviously wonderfully transcendent truth. But actually, I have a nose. And I have it, too. I have a nose. So this is his lineage. Right from the little kid, there he was. Boom! I'm an ordinary human being. I have stuff. I've got noses and stuff, and there's hearts and stuff. What's that about? Whose hand was raised? Oh, was that your hand wearing? Oh. Our hand. Our hand. Our hand. Indeed, I don't want to be responsible for this kind of thing.

[70:30]

Possession is nine-tenths of the law. Possession is a possession. In Buddhism, it's nine-tenths of the Buddhist law. I've heard a couple of women lately who a lot of people go to see who... who have declared themselves as not having selfless. They have no reference. They speak... Oh, I can say their names, but they seem to have quite a following. And if they seem to be... Well, why not? Wouldn't that be great to follow the selfless people? It's very interesting listening to them. And it sounds very Buddhist also, but no reference point. And it's very spacious quality. Byron Candy is one of them, and Susan Segal is another.

[71:31]

And they've had this almost like an enlightened experience. Yes. It's just out of nowhere. And they all of a sudden had no reference point. Right. So, you know, a lot of people are probably interested in people. It's understandable. So, is it possible, I mean, I've heard them do this time, there were a lot of people who just didn't go out and teach you. And I'm thinking maybe it's possible there are a lot of people who have some kind of blindness that just aren't teaching. Besides the ones that are teaching? Besides the ones that are actually teaching. But there may be some other lurking out in the woods somewhere? Or deep in the city? Well, the Buddha himself didn't really want to teach, I think, at first. No. It was on the imitational basis. Right. So... Three times. Some people do get it. You're wondering if some people get it, or do you suspect... I suspect that some people do get it.

[72:40]

Get what? I don't know. Yes, what we're talking about is no separation. Well, okay. But get no separation is the language there, right? Maybe realize no separation. Right. And get it. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, this particular lineage is not that kind of thing of no self-reference, okay? This is like, we have persons here, okay? There is self-reference, and we own to it. All right, that's what these guys are, that's what these guys know. So, it's maybe a different kind of enlightenment from this other kind of enlightenment. So in our school we say merging with principle is still not enlightenment.

[73:43]

So entering into a state of no self-reference is not the enlightenment of the Zen school. The enlightenment of Zen school is non-dual. It's not like you don't have a self-reference anymore. You're completely ordinary. woman or man or whatever. So saying there's no reference point is dualistic. Well, yeah. Saying there isn't, saying there is a reference point is dualistic. Saying there isn't one is dualistic, saying there is one is dualistic, anything you say is dualistic. And that's fine. And non-duality allows us to make dualistic statements. And the Buddha from his enlightenment onward, and also prior to his enlightenment, made dualistic statements quite often. He was kind of a talkative guy.

[74:44]

And he talked dualistically. And when he talked dualistically, he taught people how to admit that they talked dualistically. And by this confession of our dualistic activity, you become liberated from it. just like Buddha. In Buddhism, before enlightenment we eat lunch, and after enlightenment we eat lunch. Before enlightenment we're dualistic, after enlightenment we're dualistic. It is that before, basically, we haven't quite been able to settle into and admit our dualistic thinking completely, we haven't yet become just this person. We have some reservations about it and therefore our reservations are a measure of our entrapment. Dualistic people have reservations about being dualistic or

[75:48]

they make dualistic into two aspects. They make dualistic into non-dualistic, or if they're Buddhists and they find out that dualism is kind of a prison, then they kind of cringe from their dualistic activity. But this teaching here is like just exactly, precisely take responsibility for your dualistic activity as it is, no more or no less, moment by moment. And that will be a non-dual liberation. Buddhist liberation is inconceivable. There are other kinds of liberation which are conceivable, which are, can I say, slightly more attractive. Because you can conceive of them. Like somebody walks in this door, you know, either one of the doors or through the ceiling or whatever, with a conceivable liberation.

[76:50]

Like being able to walk, move through the walls is a conceivable liberation. Obviously they've transcended, you know, the limits of walls. So this is very attractive. What's his name? Some people, anyway, miracles that people can understand as miracles are very attractive. All right? But Buddhist liberation is not so attractive. The practice is what's supposed to be attractive. And the practice is, in this case, the practice is, for starters, just this person. Yes? Would it be saying, I'm the criminal versus I'm the victim, then? Well, actually, we don't actually say, I am the criminal. We just, the kind of tone, the tone of our admission is, like this Zen master's admission of his personhood was in the language of a criminal admitting a crime.

[78:03]

But he didn't actually say, I'm a criminal. He said, just this person. It's understood that just being this person is a crime. So you're not a victim or the criminal, really. You're just a criminal and a victim. You're a victim of your karmic consciousness. You're just a poor little person born into this world. And Zappo, you have programmed to think karmically. So there you are, just a sitting duck. Boom. Michelle's me. I can't help you. You're a victim. You're a victim of the crime. And you're also the perpetrator of the crime. But actually, you're just a person, really. And that is both a destiny due to karma, and it is also a karmic activity. It is a karmic consciousness. So just to admit being a person, that's more kind of like to the point.

[79:04]

But there's a sense of guilt there. Guilty of being somebody who thinks she's a limited creature. And that's it. Know, you know, with presence. So that you can see the consequences of your selfishness. So again, as I mentioned yesterday or whenever it was, yesterday morning, to admit selfishness is selfless. To accurately, precisely admit our selfishness is a selfless act and a selfless practice. The admission of selfishness, the admission of our own personal power trips is selfless. The admission, the accurate admission and acknowledgement of our karmic consciousness is not karmic consciousness. So when we completely admit our selflessness, our selfishness, then our practice becomes selfless.

[80:11]

But it's hard to admit it just accurately, just exactly how... Ah, selfish we are without sort of like saying, oh, I'm just like, I'm the most selfish or something like that. Kind of like making it too much or I'm a little selfish. You know, take out the most and take out the little and just say it like it is. That's enough to get liberated. It's hard just to do it moment by moment, just right in the mark. Selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish. So now you have the background story. Now look at the story and see how it seems. Now the monk asks him, when he said just this person, did he understand? When he said just this person, what did he mean?

[81:19]

Now I just told you something about the meaning I get from that, okay? that he's telling us to be responsible for our own humanness. But still the question now is, when the teacher said to you, just this person, what did he mean? At that time, I nearly misunderstood my master's meaning. And then, did Yuen Yon himself know it or not? And so on. Okay? I don't know if you can keep track of what happened to you tonight, but something happened. If you maybe spend some time revealing what happened to you.

[82:23]

Maybe you see you're a different person now than you were before. This justice person is a different justice person, isn't it? And yet, it's not a different person. You are exactly the same as you were at the beginning of class, and yet you're not. So next week, I'd like to do this case again with this integrating your experience around this and your thoughts about this. And I guess I would just suggest you to work with that, if you want, to meditate on Yun Yan's instruction, just this person. See how you can work with that this week, just this person. It's kind of convenient instruction, actually, as you may have noticed. But hard instruction.

[83:31]

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