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Karma, Dharma, and Self-Discovery
The talk explores two perspectives on studying Buddhism, focusing on the nuanced interrelationship between karma (action with intention) and dharma (truth or reality, particularly the truth of enlightenment). It emphasizes the practice of Zazen and the concept of studying the self as a path to enlightenment. This mirrors the teachings of an ancient Zen perspective on learning, which involves an intimate, non-prejudiced observation of the self and one’s karmic actions, suggesting that in this process, one can transcend the ego and become enlightened by all things. The discourse also addresses the continuity of life and rebirth in Buddhism, suggesting a connected and supportive existence among all beings.
Referenced Concepts and Texts:
- Karma and Dharma: Essential ideas in Buddhism regarding the nature of actions and the truth of enlightenment.
- Zazen: The sitting meditation practice in the Zen tradition, a method through which one studies karma to see dharma.
- Dōgen's teaching: "To study the Buddha way is to study the self; to study the self is to forget the self." This reflects the Zen approach of intimate engagement with one’s true nature to transcend it.
Noted Discussions and Teachings:
- The relationship between karma and dharma, as actions with intentions lead to enlightenment.
- The concept of studying one's karma to forget it, thus becoming enlightened by and connected with all life.
- The practice of loving, non-prejudicial attention to observe one's actions and thoughts as a method of gaining enlightenment.
- A dialogue on the nature of rebirth and the Buddhist view on life and death, emphasizing interdependence and the non-isolated nature of existence.
AI Suggested Title: Karma, Dharma, and Self-Discovery
Side: A
Speaker: Tenshin Reb Anderson
Possible Title: 99F - Sunday Dharma Talk
Additional text:
@AI-Vision_v003
This morning, how's that? Is it okay in the back? This morning, how's that? Is that okay? Can you hear me, Eric? Okay. This morning I have in mind a simple way to describe the Buddha way or learning about the Buddha way two ways both of which are kind of simple outlines and I can't decide which one to do so I think I'm going to try to do both and if I can't do both I'll do the second one in question and answer if it gets to be too long
[01:03]
So the first one, I would say like this, study karma and see dharma. That's the first way. And I would say that that expression for the Buddha way could also be said to be a description of what we call, or what some people call, Zazen, or the sitting meditation
[02:07]
of the Buddha ancestors in the Zen tradition. But it's not just sitting meditation, it just means the meditation of the Buddha ancestors. Study karma, see dharma. So in that presentation, in a sense, there's three elements. One is karma, the other is study, and the other is seeing dharma. So what do I mean by karma? In the root sense, karma means action. But at its source, karma means our intention or our motivation, our thinking.
[03:20]
But it also includes, it's actually a whole world, a whole karmic world in which there is thinking and there are things which are thought of. The world of karma is where there is me and you, where we cooperate and don't cooperate, Where I think of things, you think of things. Where I do things and you do things. That's the world of karma. And where everything we think, or whenever we think, there's some kind of consequence of the thinking we do. And in that world we are in bondage to our thinking.
[04:39]
And in that world there is joy and suffering. But even when there is joy, there is suffering. Even when there is joy, there is anxiety. Because in that world I think of myself as separate from other beings. And I think I can do things by my own power. And in fact, I think I can think by my own power and think my own thoughts. Not with the... and not being grateful and appreciating how all beings help me think. I think I can think all by myself. I think I can think by myself and talk by myself and walk by myself by my own power. Studying that world where I think I can do things by my own power and noticing how that world works and seeing how that world works, studying that,
[05:52]
I will be eventually able to see the Dharma. The Dharma being the truth, but in particular the Dharma of the Buddha, the truth of enlightenment, the enlightened awakened truth. And in the world of Dharma, there is no really separate self and other. And in the world of Dharma, I don't do anything and you don't do anything by my own power, by your own power. Everything we do, every thought we have in that world is on behalf of and with the support of and in concert with all life. And in that world there is no disharmony. there is only appreciation among all beings for each other. And not only appreciation for each other but appreciating that we're not really other from each other.
[07:01]
And in that world there is happiness and there is freedom from anxiety and there is no personal power In that world one can see that there are many beings, many individual beings still, and appreciate each individual being, but each individual being is seen as the recipient of infinite support Each individual being is seen as receiving great kindness from all over the universe and giving out great kindness to the whole universe. Each being is viewed as receiving great light and emanating great light. Each being is seen individually but completely connected, unique but connected to all other unique beings.
[08:13]
Each being is seen as the center of the universe, and there's nobody who's not the center of the universe. And yet, one can still see that some beings do not understand their own light, their own gift. And therefore, one can see that they suffer because of not understanding who they are, how they are. The world of Dharma does not overlook the fact that beings are suffering, but it sees that they're suffering because they don't appreciate their nature. While seeing beings suffering, one also sees that they are radiant beings. Like seeing a child, a beautiful child, who thinks she's ugly, who thinks she's a bad girl. and is suffering, or seeing a child, a beautiful boy, who thinks he needs something that he doesn't have, like a toy or something, and hates some other little boy who has the toy he wants because he doesn't understand how beautiful he is and that he doesn't need that toy to be happy.
[09:42]
So he's sad and he fights with the other boy. Hurts the other boy to get the toy that he thinks he needs. One sees the beauty of the child, but sees the child is not understanding who he is or who she is. And one wishes that the child would understand. And one realizes also that it may take the child quite a few years before they'll be willing to study their karma. It somehow has to get worse before they'll see that they have to study. Usually they have to at least reach puberty. And then things get so bad that they sometimes will notice how bad they are and open their hearts to the message that they have to turn around and look at what they're doing and the consequences of their actions. And maybe they can hear
[10:46]
that if they would study their karma, study their actions, study their thinking, they could see the Truth. The parallel way of putting it, the other way of talking about the practice of the Buddha way, which will actually turn into several ways of talking about it, but an ancient Zen teacher said that to study the Buddha way,
[12:18]
is to study the self. And that English word study is a translation of a Chinese character. It can be translated by several other words. It's an interesting character, I think. As part of the character, it's an ideogram, and part of the character includes two little wings. And the wings are in there because this type of study is the type of study which is not just intellectual study, although it is intellectual, but it's the kind of study that birds do. It's the way birds study. So another translation, some other translations of this word could be learn, model, imitate, or get to know.
[13:45]
So like little birds, I don't know actually, but it looks from a distance like what little birds do is they sit in the nest And they, you know, watch out to see when the next meal's coming. But they also kind of watch, in a sense, they watch what their mother and father are doing, namely flying. And they watch and they watch. And someday, after watching for a long time, they do what their mother and father did. They fly. Now one may say, well, you know, but a bird, we can watch birds too, but we can't fly. We can't imitate them. And I think there's something about a bird that it's a little easier for a bird to imitate flying than it is for us. They have other, they have certain, you know, equipment and a body that works really well for flying. But also, it's not clear to me that a bird will ever fly if it were living, you know, if the nest had what he called a blind around it and they couldn't see their parents flying and the parents just came in and dropped the food from above the blind.
[15:02]
They could never see the parents flying back and forth. I don't know if the bird would ever learn to fly. I doubt it. I think the little birds are actually kind of like watching, you know, kind of trying it out a little bit before they try. I think so. In other words, they imitate their parents. So another way to put it is to learn the Buddha way, to learn the way of an enlightened being is to learn yourself. To model the way of the Buddha way is to model yourself. To model, to imitate the Buddha way is to imitate yourself. Most people feel pretty embarrassed about having a self in the first place and they think,
[16:12]
Well, kind of embarrassed and also embarrassed that they're kind of proud of it. But anyway, imitate myself? Isn't that... Isn't that kind of a problem? Yeah, it is kind of a problem. Most people do not imitate themselves. They half-heartedly go around being themselves. To completely learn yourself... is the Buddha way. To bring yourself in complete imitation of yourself moment by moment is to study the Buddha way. Every word you speak, imitate speaking that word. In other words, be completely intimate with each word you speak. Every time you touch something, imitate that touching.
[17:16]
Every time you think something, imitate that thinking. Every time you feel something, model that feeling on itself. Every time you're any way, study that way you are. in all possible ways become completely congruent with what's happening as yourself. Never miss yourself. Never overdo yourself or underdo yourself. Never overdo your feelings or underdo your feelings. Never overdo your thinking or underdo your thinking. This teacher goes on to say, to study the Buddha way, to learn the Buddha way, to imitate the Buddha way is to study, learn, and imitate the self.
[18:26]
To study, to learn, to imitate the self is to forget the self. When you thoroughly study yourself, your self is forgotten. When you're completely intimate with yourself, your self is forgotten. A sign, sort of a certification that you've completely imitated yourself is that you forget it. Then, to forget the self, is to be enlightened by all things. To forget the self is to have all things come forward and give you life.
[19:30]
All things, everything that happens realizes your life. But if we remember ourselves and hold to ourselves, then only certain things seem to confirm us and give us life. Sometimes we feel like, oh, that gives me life. Thank you. Oh, that comment you make gives me life, confirms me, realizes my life. I feel realized by this interaction. Thank you. But there's some other things that happen in our life we don't feel like, this gives me life. This cough gives me life. This clearing of the throat. This grimace. This nose blowing. This chuckle. This smile. This frown. this pain, this pleasure, this action, this thought. These don't give me life. Only certain things give me life. This is not the Buddha way. The Buddha way is everything that ever happens in my life gives, well, is my life, gives this life itself.
[20:37]
How does the eye open to that world? by the self completely being a self, by getting to know the self completely. One forgets it and then everything realizes this life and then one sees all lives being realized by everything. And then body and mind of the self drop away, body and mind of the other drop away. And one lives in a world where there is no body and mind of self and other. There is just great interdependent life. Now taking one step further and bringing this rendition back in conjunction with the first one, I would say it this way.
[21:54]
To study the Buddha way, to study the way of enlightenment, is to study karma. And to study karma is to forget karma. And to forget karma is to be enlightened by all things, by everything. To become, to imitate the Buddha way, to act just like the Buddha way, to be just like all Buddhas, to model yourself on the way of all Buddhas, is to model yourself on karma, on your karma. Or take away self and just say, to model the way of the Buddha is to model the karma of the moment. And to model the karma is to forget the karma.
[22:59]
Being intimate with karma, imitating the things you're doing, is to imitate the Buddha way. All Buddhas All Buddhas have become intimate with their karma, forgotten their karma, and been realized by the entire universe. So what is this way of imitation? What is this way of study? What is this way of learning? What is this way of intimacy? And again, there's many hints or ways of talking about how to study the self, how to study the karma.
[24:08]
One word I would use is lovingly. Lovingly study the self. Lovingly study the thinking that's going on. lovingly study the speech and the postures that are happening. What do I mean by lovingly study? The word I would use is in the midst of everything you meet, everything you're aware of, be upright. Don't lean into what's happening. Don't lean away from what's happening.
[25:18]
Be intimate with what's happening. Don't try to get a hold of it. Don't reject it. An example I've used a number of times this last week is the example I saw in an airport one time. I think it was in Tokyo, I'm not sure, but I saw a Japanese mother I think she was Japanese. Anyway, she's Asian-looking and she's speaking Japanese. I didn't ask her if she was a Japanese citizen.
[26:22]
But anyway, she was taking care of her son. I think it was her son. I also didn't ask her if that was her son. But it was a little boy. He was a toddler. Maybe one and a half. He hadn't been walking long, this kid. But he was really enjoying it. and he wanted to exercise his walking skills. So he was walking around the waiting area, waiting to get on the airplane. And his mother was attending to him. And she followed him wherever he went, slightly bent forward, ready to catch him if he should happen to fall down. Or particularly if he'd happen to like fall forward towards a piece of furniture and hit his head. Or fall towards a wall and hit his head.
[27:23]
Or fall backwards and hit his head. And he did fall down a few times. And she let him fall down a few times when he fell like, you know, like onto his... his rear, then she just let him fall on his rear. But if he fell backwards, she'd catch him so it didn't hurt his head. If he fell forward and caught himself and there was no dangerous objects in front, she just let him fall. And she didn't try to control his course to get him to just go to certain areas rather than others unless he would go like near an escalator or a stairway. But she was with him wherever he went, right there. Now, she probably could have had him on a leash. They have these little leashes for kids you may know about, and halters. Or she could have kept him in a chair next to her, or even strapped him to the chair, and in some ways he might have been safer.
[28:34]
But if he did that, he might have been hurt in another way of being made to feel powerless and not being able to study his own action. But she just attended him wherever he went. She may not have... I have no idea. She may not have wished that she had... She may not have wished that he would go someplace rather than another. But I couldn't read her mind, but her body was not wishing that he would go one place or another. Her body was just with him. Whatever he did, she was there. There was no control. Now, if he were to move towards some danger, then maybe she would have exerted some control and reached out to catch him.
[29:43]
But as long as he was safe, as long as he wasn't hurting himself or anybody else, she just attended him. This is not like or dislike. Although she might have had likes and dislikes, her attending the child was not a like and dislike thing. It was steady. It took care of him no matter what he was doing. This is the way I think that works best to study the self, to study the karma. Studying this way, we see the end of self and the end of karma and the enlightenment by everything that happens.
[30:49]
It is to be with what's happening with an unprejudiced heart. There may be prejudiced hearts all over the place, wishing that things were different. That's part of what's happening, is that there's preferences and prejudices, oceans, oceans of prejudice, oceans of preference. In those oceans of preference and prejudice, there is an unbiased, unprejudiced study. In this ocean of prejudice and thinking this way and thinking that way, there is this balance on prejudiced heart. Part of karma, which is not strictly speaking karma and could be called old karma, is that because of past actions and various conditions, certain feelings arise.
[32:07]
And those feelings may be feelings of strong attraction, or strong repugnance, or strong irritation or pleasure. So it's not that there aren't, as I said, oceans of preference, which are partly due to past action and current circumstances. In the midst of those repulsions and attractions, there is this kind of attention, this loving attention. There he goes to the boy strongly attracted to that toy, to that food. He can't help it, but she goes with him. There he is strongly repelled by having his diapers changed or whatever. She's there.
[33:14]
So if I need to go to the toilet, I feel urge to go to the toilet, there may be a clear preference for going to the toilet rather than not going to the toilet. If I feel a desire to inhale or exhale, there may be a clear preference to inhale fairly soon or exhale fairly soon. And so on throughout the day there may be clear, strong intentions to do this. That's karma. There may be clear, strong inclinations of our consciousness in this direction or that direction. That's karma. That's the world of karma. Sometimes it's not so clear whether we want to go to the toilet or not.
[35:31]
Sometimes our intention is unclear. That's unclear karma. Unclear thinking or indeterminate. To study all this in this loving, unprejudiced way opens our eyes to another world A world where we don't go to the toilet alone anymore. And some people may think, well, I don't want to be in that world with everybody going to the toilet with me. Which I can understand, but actually not wanting everybody to go to the toilet with you is actually misery. You know, well, there's some people I let go of the toilet with me, but not others. When Buddha goes to the toilet, everybody goes to the toilet with him.
[36:39]
Buddha can't go to the toilet without all of our support. And Buddha understands that. None of us can go to the toilet without everybody supporting us. But if we don't understand that, we feel threatened. We feel anxious if we don't understand that everybody's helping us go to the toilet and breathe and think. Buddha understands that she can't think without the support of all life. Or put it the other way, Buddha understands that every thought, every intention, every breath, every posture, every impulse that she feels is only because of all beings supporting her. How does her eye open to that world? By looking at the world where we don't see it that way.
[37:49]
Where we think, I do this by my own power. And how do we watch this world? We watch our action as though we were watching our beloved child. And again, not, oh, I love this child, I love this person, I love this self, I love this karma, and I wish it would go this way or that way. Wishing it would go this way or that way, again, is more karma. Karma is wishing that our thought is this way or our thought is that way. Karma is, I wish I had better thoughts. I wish I didn't think that way. That's more karma. I wish I didn't wish I didn't think that way. That's more karma. I'm going to take a course so I don't think that way anymore. I'm going to take that course.
[38:53]
I want to take that course. That's more karma. That's fine. That's fairly wholesome karma. Sometimes people think, I want to think worse thoughts. I want to take courses where I can find out how to be bad. That's more karma. That's fine. We can't avoid it. That's the world. Studying that world in this loving way opens our eyes to the world which is free of karma. Buddha's world of interdependence with all beings. But it's hard work to study this way. It's hard work to follow that little guy around the airport so he never gets hurt, never feels restrained, untrusted, always feels supported and loved. Even though he can't see us sometimes, he knows we're there. He keeps running around the airport, and he grows up, and then pretty soon he's walking around the airport.
[39:57]
But his walking or toddling is not the point. The point is to see that he's not walking around the airport by himself. That every step he takes is the entire universe being enacted through him. It's to see the love of all beings giving him life. And seeing that is possible if we just take care of him every moment, every day, as he grows, as he lives. Taking care of our mind, taking care of ourself in that same way, our eyes will open to the world beyond karma, conflict, and power. to the world of concerted activity, of harmony and life. So please consider if you're up for studying yourself, attending to yourself lovingly,
[41:17]
imitating yourself, becoming intimate with yourself. Do you want to learn, study, and get to know your karma? This is what all Buddhas have done. Do you want to join that way and realize that way for the sake of the love you feel for all life. I ask you that question. I'd like you to think about that, whether you are ready to do that or not, whether you want to do that. I want to.
[42:29]
I want to learn the Buddha way. I want to learn about the Buddha way. I want to imitate the Buddha way. I want to learn the self. I want to learn karma. I want to forget the self and be enlightened by all things. I want the body and mind of self and other to drop away. That's what I want. How about you? What do you want? This little guy running around the airport is complicated. You're complicated.
[43:30]
Your karma is complicated. That's not the problem. The problem is, can you lovingly attend to this little person? No matter how many twists and turns he takes, no matter how many tumbles he takes, no matter how many poops he poops, Can you attend to him lovingly until your eyes open to the truth? As Susie Qureshi said, you can if you want to. It's kind of like, do you want to? Do you want to take care of this self for the benefit of all beings? We need you to do that, really. Please consider this. So I have a poem about this.
[44:33]
Oh, and look, it says here on the top of the poem, it says, study yourself inside and outside, outside and in. The little thing I wrote at the top of this song. It's from a movie, or I think it's from a movie by Rodgers and Hammerstein called The King and I, or called Karma and I. Are you ready for this song? Please excuse my singing. Getting to know you Getting to know all about you Getting to like you Hoping that you like me Getting to know you, putting it my way, but nicely. You are precisely my cup of tea.
[45:37]
Getting to know you, getting to feel free and easy. When I'm with you, getting to know what to say. Haven't you noticed suddenly I'm bright and breezy because of all the beautiful and new things I'm learning about you day by day. I can't do it. Is there anything you'd like to discuss?
[47:03]
Is there anything you'd like to discuss? Yes? Your girlfriend? You wanted to talk about what the Buddhist tradition understands happens when a person dies? The Buddha did not say exactly what happens when people die, but the Buddha did teach that things don't go on, they don't last, but also they don't stop all of a sudden and get completely annihilated either.
[48:27]
So he had us teach that things are changing all the time. And what we call death is a time when the conditions which hold together, which have been holding the body and the mind together, those conditions are no longer there and the body and mind disperse. However, it's not like there's nothing left over. There is kind of like a momentum which has been going on throughout our kind of like congealed existence as an individual life unit, there's a momentum of that living, which is part of the conditions for further life, for another particular manifestation of life. So Buddhism teaches, the Buddha taught that there's rebirth,
[49:29]
They didn't exactly say how that would work, except by it happens by a complex process of causation. So the Buddha isn't that exactly that your girlfriend will be reborn, but rather her life will be reborn. She won't stop entirely, but she doesn't go on not endlessly either, and yet there will be rebirth. The Buddha didn't say there's always going to be rebirth. In some cases there might not be rebirth. For example, in the case of the Buddha, there was not rebirth. But many beings, and we don't know exactly whether it's most or like 99.9% are reborn, That's the way the causation works.
[50:32]
Buddhism also teaches that part of the condition for rebirth is the friends of the deceased. Although we don't control another person's life, it isn't like we dial in their rebirth but the way we are has something to do with the way that they lived. The fact that we love someone and appreciate them has something to do with us and them. And the particular way we do appreciate them has something to do with our perception of them and who they are. So the fact that we would hope well for somebody the fact that we hope well for, I say somebody, but the spirit of a deceased being has something to do with who they were.
[51:40]
So it's not exactly like you can wish her well and hope that she finds a path of peace and harmony in however her spirit is transforming itself through time and space, the fact that you care about her and want the best for her has something to do with who she is. So it's natural, I mean not natural, but it's not like imposing something, it's just that you feel a certain way because she was a good person. So her goodness is partly manifested in you. and your appreciation has something to do with who she was and who she will be. So people who, beings who live in such a way that many beings are encouraged and appreciative, then those beings continue to be encouraged and appreciated by the person's life and that appreciation tends to help the person have another life which will be encouraging and appreciative.
[52:49]
So when we lose a friend in a particular form, part of the way we help and express our gratitude for knowing them is by being happy that we knew them. So not so much emphasizing how sad we are that we lost them, which is part of it. That's our grieving process. But there's another part which isn't grieving, which is more like celebration of how fortunate we were to have known someone who was so wonderful in our life. And that appreciation, in a sense, verifies the quality of their life and encourages their whatever process they're going through. That's the way I understand something about the Buddha's understanding of causation. Yes.
[53:56]
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, it's not so much her spirit might be there, but she might have gone, she might be someplace else. How long has it been since she died? Yeah, she might or might not have come to her ceremony. It depends. Some people like to come to their ceremony, some people don't. Some people don't like the ceremony. But the Right. But even though they might not in a sense be around the ceremony, Just like when they were alive, their life was through the support of all beings and they were supporting all beings. In that sense, the impersonal reality of a life was there in all her friends.
[54:57]
In a sense, part of her, of what she was, of what she is, is there. because of all you people thinking about her and talking about her. That creates a kind of spirit which is hard to measure but very important for our life. Anything else you'd like to bring up at this time? Yes? She said I talked about the eye opening, our eyes opening, and how our thinking is connected, yes. Yes.
[56:00]
Well, one thing that came to my mind is, you know, At a certain point in history, people are incapable of thinking certain things, right? And then somebody thinks something that's never been thought before, and then sometimes fairly shortly after that, everybody's able to think that. Right? Yeah, the meme. So now your question is how, if you start becoming aware of your own thinking, how can you have a dialogue with other people's thinking? As you become, let's say, at the At the ultimate intimacy with your own thinking, you understand that the thinking you're doing could not happen without the thinking of everyone else.
[57:15]
So for example, you understand that the way things come together for you as things could not happen except by, for example, conventional speech. Conventional designations are necessary for us to have things. And again, some people come up with new designations by which they can experience a thing, and then they get together with other people and make a convention out of it, and then other people can see the thing. So if you meditate on what you see and how you think, you'll see that actually everything you have, the way you put the world together is not possible except with the aid of many other beings to help you even make concepts and be aware of them. As you understand that yourself, then when you talk with other people, when you interact verbally with other people, you can share that vision. And the way you share it is partly by telling them the vision, but another way is to tell them the vision, express to them your vision of how they can see it for themselves, how they can turn around and look back at the place where you saw the interdependence.
[58:34]
So there's a dialogue between us, and then there's like, we start to enter into the actual dialogue between us. Meantime, the actual dialogue is going on all the time. It's just that part of our body and mind is dissociated from it and believing in an isolated version of reality. So we carry, each of us has our own version, which everybody else gives us. each of us is able to think that we're, everybody supports us to think we're unsupported. And when two beings who can think that they're unsupported, that they're not supported, that they're independent, come together and meditate on themselves and share that meditation, then they deepen the realization of the inner dependence.
[59:42]
If you realize, if you look at yourself and what you're doing and see exactly how you act by yourself, in other words, how you think you act by yourself, if you look at that illusion of independent power and independent action, you'll see that it's an illusion. But in order to see it fully, in order to understand it fully, you need to find somebody else who's doing the same work and come together and both of you together enact that you both understand that. through the relationship. So some people can understand it for themselves, but when they start talking to somebody else they slip back into, either they slip back into this independent view or they can't interact with the other person in such a way as to enact that interdependence so the other person can't, doesn't participate. So that's not as complete an understanding of your interdependence as if you can get someone else to understand their interdependence with you together.
[60:50]
So the Buddha saw, at the time of awakening, the Buddha saw every being is interdependent. But he also saw not all beings understand their interdependence. And then actually the Buddha didn't think it would be possible for people to understand that. He didn't think, oh, according to one story, he thought it's great that everybody's interdependent and everybody really is by nature awake. But he didn't think, but he did think, but they don't get it. But he didn't think, oh, I could help them get it. He more thought they don't get it and they're suffering just like I used to suffer before I got it. But he didn't think that they would be able to understand the way he got it. Because nobody taught him how to do it. He just discovered it. So he never thought that his discovery could be replicated. But then people begged him, you know, to try. And he tried, and it didn't work. And then he tried again, and it did work.
[61:53]
I mean, he tried, it didn't work. And he tried, and tried, and tried, and it did work. So he said, oh my God, people can understand you know, in their way they can understand how to see what I saw. So then he was happy to do it. Does that relate to your question at all? You never know. Well, actually, no, he said, he didn't know that English word at that time, so he said, oh, my Buddha. And then people said, what happened to you? And he said, my Buddha. And they thought he said, I Buddha. Yeah. No, I did.
[63:02]
The first way is, the first way of saying it is study karma, see dharma. That's the first way. That's like, that's the way, and the other way is to study the Buddha way is to study the self, or to study the Buddha way is to study karma. So they're kind of the same, right? Very similar. That's two different kind of renditions. And again, what I was rhapsodizing on is that word study. Because when you say study, people think, oh, like studying a book. Well, it's probably like that, like study a text, learn all the words, see their relationships. But it's also like imitate, like learning to ride a bicycle or copying somebody doing something. It's getting intimate with yourself that you get intimate with the Buddha way. Yeah, it did.
[64:14]
Pardon? Was there a consciousness of the Buddha way before the Buddha? Let me see. Yeah. But in, you know, in, what do you call it, on this planet, okay, there was no person who understood that as far as we know from, you know, studying the history of this planet. We have not found a person who understood the Buddha way, the way the historical person did before him. But he said that he studied in past lives with other Buddhas, but they weren't in the same, they weren't on the planet Earth, so to speak. They were in a different kind of like world system. But the Shakyamuni Buddha said he studied with other Buddhas before, that there were other Buddhas before him, but Buddhism says that in this sort of world cycle, you know, like
[65:27]
1,500 B.C., 1,000 B.C., sort of the history of the human species. We don't have other examples of Buddhas before the Shakyamuni Buddha. But he did, he himself said that I used to study with other Buddhas. And he said I studied actually with some of my disciples I studied with. And sometimes my disciples were my teachers in past lives. And sometimes I was my teacher's disciple. But he wasn't a Buddha in those past lives. But in some of those past lives he was a student of a Buddha. But it wasn't like in this world that that happened. But after Buddha, although we don't have any more Shakyamuni Buddhas since his time, we have disciples of Buddha which virtually had the same understanding as the Buddha and were virtually as skillful at teaching people the Buddha's teaching.
[66:32]
It's just that they didn't make it up in this cycle of history. Their teachings are more like a rediscovery of the Buddha's teaching and they reference back to the Buddha as their teacher. So there could be some kind of enlightened person on the planet now. Some of them might not refer back to the Buddha. It's possible. But some of them might. So you could have an enlightened being in the world today who thinks of the Buddha as her teacher. But the Buddha couldn't think of a historical person prior to himself that he could reference back to in this ordinary cycle of history. So we think that Buddha actually historically existed. And the Buddha actually also bought into that to some extent, that he historically existed.
[67:37]
But some of Buddha's later disciples say that this thing about the Buddha being born and leaving home, getting enlightened and teaching and dying. But that's just a way that reality enacts things for the sake of beings who see things in a way of being born and dying. So in the world of karma we're born, live a while and die. But in the world of dharma we aren't born, live a while and die. That's not the way it is. Our interdependence, it doesn't get born and die. Our radiance doesn't come and go. So in the Dharma world, this thing about birth and death isn't going on. And that's there before there's a historical Buddha, and after there's a historical Buddha. And our entrance into the realm of Dharma, of truth, where we aren't born and dying, is to study in this intimate, loving way the world where we are born and dying.
[68:50]
So we just attend to this, we lovingly attend to the world of birth and death. We don't try to control the world of birth and death and keep the world of birth and death on its chair, strapped down and safe. we lovingly attend it as it goes through its processes of evolution. And the child or the world evolves, but if there's this loving attention, there's awakening accompanying the evolution. And then when there's awakening accompanying the evolution, then the awakening affects the evolution. That's part of, I think, your question. So it isn't that the awakened person tries to control the way a child or the way a mind is evolving. It's just that an awakened attendance upon an evolving mind, the mind evolves in a positive way. And a loving, enlightened attention to an evolving society, evolving mind,
[69:57]
evolving world of birth and death, the world that's coming and going, living and dying, loving, enlightened attention to that makes this world evolve in a certain way. The loving attention, however, does not try to influence or manipulate this thing. It just appreciates it. Manipulating this thing of birth and death is birth and death. That's what birth and death is, is messing with birth and death. Well actually, that's true, but even more essentially, birth and death is messing with this thing which doesn't come and go. So appreciating a person's radiance and beauty, which doesn't come and go, realizes their radiance and beauty. Messing with their radiance and beauty creates birth and death.
[71:00]
And so there is messing with this radiance and beauty, so we do have birth and death. But not messing with birth and death realizes the radiance and beauty. Okay? Not messing with the world of birth and death realizes the Buddha. Messing with the Buddha realizes birth and death. Okay? Does that make sense? Does it? Or don't be afraid to say no. Should it make sense? Yeah. I mean, you should have confidence in it or not. I mean, it should be kind of like, yeah, that's life. Life is appreciated. Appreciate life and death. Appreciate suffering. Lovingly attend to suffering. Realize peace and harmony. Mess with peace and harmony.
[72:08]
Realize the suffering. So samsara and nirvana are actually coexistent to the extent that we mess with nirvana, we get samsara, and to the extent we don't mess with samsara, we get nirvana. Yes, Jeanette? Yes. You live in a community where there's disagreement and frustration? Oh, and you? You're seeing other people, you feel... Yes. I just feel... Yes.
[73:23]
Can you go wait just a second? Because I'd like to rephrase what you're saying, if you could, in terms of what I've been saying. So she said that she's noticing in herself negative judgments of the way other people are practicing and disagreement with the way they're practicing or the way they understand, for example, the Buddhist precepts or the way they teach the Buddhist precepts. So she's noticing in herself judgments and disagreements about the way other people are practicing and teaching. Is that clear? So to translate back into this image, her mind of judging and disagreeing, that's like the little boy running around the airport. So if you can lovingly attend to your judgments, You know, your judgments, for example, let's say you see someone practicing and you judge them as, oh, that's a nice practice.
[74:31]
Oh, that's a good practice. Oh, I agree with that. That's like the little boy, your mind judging that way is like the little boy running around. Oh, I don't agree. I disagree. I judge this negatively. That's like the little boy running around too. One's like running to the right, the other's running to the left. If you can lovingly attend to your mind when it agrees with people, when it's encouraged by people, the mind feels encouraged, the mind agrees, the mind supports or disagrees, criticizes and doesn't support. It's the same active karmic mind. Sometimes it thinks, I'm going to do something about this or not do something about that. That's more karmic. you can lovingly attend this mind which is having a hard time with the situation, your eyes will open to the world beyond judgment. So you have unprejudiced attendance or unprejudiced caring for the mind which has prejudices.
[75:38]
And you will become free of the mind that has prejudices. And when you're free of it, it still will operate. But now when the freedom is in conjunction with this prejudice, the prejudices will evolve and become more skillful and beneficial. Your critical function of your mind will still be available, but it will be operating in concert with this understanding of interdependence. So you need to lovingly attend. You need to lovingly attend and unprejudicially study your prejudices while they're happening. Including the prejudice, I probably shouldn't be having these prejudices. That's another one. Many Zen students think they shouldn't be prejudiced. They shouldn't be judging. They think that.
[76:40]
But they do. Yes. Okay, that's a multifaceted question. So one aspect is, should one step forward and express oneself? Okay. Yes, you should. Should one examine one's motivation when one steps forward and expresses oneself? Yes. Be intimate with your thinking. Your thinking precedes your verbal and physical activity. But after you become intimate with your thinking, if you have a thought and you examine the thought and you say, now this thought is a thought or intention which if I verbalized it or enacted it physically, it would be harmful, then you might say, well, you might have another thought of, well, probably good not to do that.
[78:10]
So that would be like when the mother is following the little boy and he's going to fall down the stairs. In that case, you might say, in this case, we don't need this right now. Now I have to play the game of interfering. So stop yourself at that point from doing something you think is harmful. But if you think it would be helpful, then let it happen. And then see how it works. Say, here's an intention to do something that looks to me to be beneficial. So in order to understand more fully, actually, how it is beneficial, it's good to verbalize it and enact it physically in many cases, because then you can see more whether it really is. Sometimes you find out it isn't, but that's part of becoming skillful, both at observing yourself and enacting skillful activity. And the more you enact skillful activity, the more you realize that it isn't your activity. When you become really intimate with your skillful activity and see it clearly, then you finally see it isn't yours.
[79:17]
But full expression is necessary in order to understand that it isn't yours. If we half-heartedly express ourselves, we can't understand that it's not ours. So please fully express yourself and full self-expression also will be in accord with the precepts. It won't be harmful. When you violate the precepts, it's half-hearted expression. Killing is half-hearted expression. Stealing is half-hearted expression. You can't wholeheartedly steal. It's impossible. Stealing is not the full expression of what you are. But you don't need to steal in order to find that out. What you do is you practice not stealing and finding out that that's more of an expression than stealing.
[80:23]
From the point of view of giving, you understand that stealing is beneath you. It just doesn't really require much of you. Not stealing, that's really challenging. Killing isn't really engaging all of you. Not killing, that's really the full you, and so on. Lying does not take that much effort. It's easy to lie. It's easy to lie and not even tell anybody that you're lying. But to tell the truth, That's all of you and so on. That's full self-expression. So when you think this is an opportunity for full self-expression, is it the Bodhisattva precepts according to your understanding? Or the other way around, fully express the Bodhisattva precepts, that should be fully expressing you. And when you fully express the Bodhisattva precepts, when you fully express you, you'll find out that it's not you all by yourself. When you express yourself fully, it's only because everybody's helping you.
[81:29]
That's why you can't kill steel and so on. OK? You have a pen? And then Carolina? Did I say there's something that isn't? Well, I take it back. There's not something that isn't. Yes. But there is a world, but there is a world of reality where there isn't a rising and a ceasing. But there's no things there that aren't a rising and ceasing. What is what? Now you're saying, I said there wasn't. You said, what is it that isn't rising and ceasing? I said, I take that back if I said that.
[82:32]
Maybe I didn't say that. You were just trapping me. In the world where things aren't coming and going, there aren't things. There's just interdependence. There's just radiance. But everybody's there. You know, you're there, you're there, you're there, you're there. We're all there, just like this, completely unique beings, but none of us are things. You know? That's all. The thing part drops away. The independence drops away. But we're just like this. It's just that your armpits are like, got a lot of light coming out of them. That's all. But it's not like we're not here, you know? This is like, it takes the universe a lot of work to make us. But that's not our thingness. That's our isolatedness. It's our thingness. Like Pam, all by herself. There's no such thing like that in the Dharma world.
[83:35]
But in the world of birth and death, we've got stuff like that. So that Pam comes and goes. We know about that one. But there's another one who's just like this one. There's not a thing. Who doesn't come and go. There's a Pam who doesn't come and go. Who we conventionally call Pam. But what we mean by is not Pam. Therefore we say Pam. And there's another one like that. Yeah, oh, yeah. They're not there anymore, though. Yeah, let's pretend. That's a good idea. Let's pretend. Let's pretend there's an airport. Here we are at the airport, yes? It was a little boy, yeah, and a little mommy, a female mommy. See, I'm a little boy who wants to run, but she doesn't want me to.
[84:46]
It's not so bad. Yeah. Yeah. Right. You're saying too much good stuff. Stop. So number one, she said, like, the little boy just wants to run off. And that's great. He just wants to run off and get away from this mother who loves him. You know, somebody wants to, like, run away and get away from this, like, non-thinking, loving study, right? And the loving study loves to follow that one.
[85:50]
Then she said, but in a way, turning around and facing this one who's lovingly harassing you, turn around and facing it in some way, that's even more like more, right? Turn around and face it. That's a really wonderful moment. When you turn, like the self that's been watched all this time, turn around and look at the one who's been there all the time with it. That's a wonderful moment. And then you said one more thing good. What was it? Oh, how wonderful it is to be mindless, right? To be not mindful. Well, that's what the loving attention thinks. Look at this mindless kid. I love him. You know? Look at this mindless Zen student sitting here, you know, totally unmindful, you know, inattentive, wasting her time. I love her. She's miserable, but I love her. It really is the case that Buddha thinks that lousy Zen students are wonderful.
[87:01]
Buddha thinks, I have a job. These people need me. I love it. Like here, this is tremendous potential here. Like they can go from minus infinity to plus infinity rather than like these people are already pretty good. He loves those too, but they're really bad ones, you know. It's really, yeah, it's true. It's just wonderful. Mindlessness is so great. That's the attitude that develops mindfulness. Some people have problems with their mindfulness practice. You ever heard of any of those people? Yeah. They have trouble with their mindfulness practice and then there's somebody who hates them for having trouble. And their mindfulness practice sometimes survives for a little while in that hate. But sometimes it really deteriorates because somebody is really angry at this person and hates this person for being so mindless. And sometimes it's kind of like the same person. Sometimes. Sometimes. And then the mindfulness doesn't thrive under that hate.
[88:04]
Sometimes it survives for a little while, but it doesn't thrive under that. It thrives under the loving attention. Not like I like it that you're mindless. It's that I love you who is mindless. So it isn't like I love your mindlessness, so stay mindless. It's I love you who are mindless, which allows you to be mindless and drop it. So loving attention doesn't mean you like people that are screwing up or that you like people that aren't screwing up, although there might be some tendency in that direction. Loving attention is you love this being, this mind, which is inattentive, and you love the mind, which is attentive. Then the mind will become, sorry to say, more and more attentive, more and more mindful. Mindfulness naturally grows with non-preference for mindlessness or mindfulness. Mindfulness is normal. When you care about something, you naturally pay attention to it.
[89:09]
But sometimes if you're not lovingly caring about it, you pay too much attention to it. You get too involved. You get sunk in it. So appreciating how wonderful mindlessness is will develop mindfulness. And if you appreciate something, you have to be mindful of it to really fully appreciate it. If you're vaguely aware of it, you can't see how wonderful it is. Mindfulness is how you see how wonderful everything is, including mindlessness. Now, there are cases of loving teachers and loving parents who say, you know, you're a lousy, mindless student. But if it really comes from love, they don't mean that you're a lousy, mindful student. And it doesn't happen that often to say that. But it can happen once in a while that you express disapproval. But you're really expressing it. It's coming from this approval, from this appreciation.
[90:13]
And sometimes people need it to keep them from falling down the escalator. So you do that. It's part of the service you offer. But it doesn't come from not appreciating them. You appreciate them just as much when they're standing on two feet on safe ground as you do when they're on the verge of getting hurt. You always appreciate them. But sometimes you say things to protect them from harm. That's all. But it's not manipulation. It's just full self-expression, which turns out to be helpful. But there's always appreciation. Mindfulness is great. Mindlessness is great. Stupidity is great. Intelligence is great. Ugliness is beautiful. Yeah, those are three good things you said. Did you forget them yet? No, it's good to forget them. Liz? Can I say something?
[91:20]
Some people, maybe like Liz, are really sharp at getting angry at themselves. They're very sharp, and they never miss a chance to be angry at themselves for not being mindful. They're better at that than just regular mindfulness. But that kind of mindfulness, they never miss a chance to catch themselves in criticism. Whenever they notice they're not mindful, they never miss a chance to give themselves to it. So that's a nice thing. The critical faculty is sometimes very brilliant. So can you lovingly appreciate how critical you are? Because it's such a strong thing there. It's like Olympic quality criticism. Really, you never miss that. And if you can appreciate your criticism, your mindfulness will probably dare to grow up. Yeah, if you can lovingly appreciate your criticism, then your poor little mindfulness has got this superpower
[92:22]
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