at the end of our
last session
i looked at the ons face in it
after what's going on he said he was instead of consternation or something like that
then later i asked him if i could help him with his consternation
and he said would you say

so he's not he's he's doing well with his consternation right

and you know why don't you said

consternation
it means kind of stirred up
disturbed
puzzled
is different from
where is it
carnation
carnation milk is made from from concentrated cows

pardon
they said that accounts for it
carnation now be used to say that carnation milk was
before before buddhism was well established in america used to say kind of carnation milk is made from contented cows
now there's a concentrated cause
which includes serenity serene cows
we're not taking any drugs

so then i said the leone right
and then another story came to mind which is a story about
a story which appears in the book of serenity which was written by cause
and case thirty seven of the book of serenity
it's called something like
grey sean's
active consciousness
or
karmic consciousness
and thus
questions
most noted disciples new yeah shown
and so question says the on jan
if someone comes up to you
and says
all sentient beings just have a consciousness
how would you test that inexperience

and in vis-a-vis what leon was bringing up you could say
all sentient beings just have stories

boundless and unclear
with no fundamental to rely on
how would you test that and experience

in new york johnson
if someone comes and says that to me i would say hey you
he hesitates known
i don't say it's just someone comes i say what is it
if he hesitates
i say
all sentient beings
just have karmic consciousness just have stores
boundless and unclear with no fundamental to rely on
an question said
good

so he tests by saying for example some was that if someone wants to understand what this means he tests to see if they understand and he also test to see where their hat he says what is it
and the hesitate just feeds them back about teaching which is basically you're just caught in your story
you're caught in your story so when i say what is it you you hesitate

now do and so that's a good that gets a that test test to see if the person is caught
and then but the this story doesn't tell the other side
but in the commentary to this story there's another story
which has both sides

so two monks are talking
and
one hundred names yeah not a i
nine on
the other one is is not named
and the monk says deny young
in the flower adornment scripture it says that all
no in florida amis who truth says that the fundamental affliction of ignorance is itself the immutable knowledge of all buddhas
this seems very
abstruse and difficult to understand and yon nanyang says
i don't think so
seems pretty straightforward to me
monks as maha song
and nine young's says well
see that see that young man over there sweeping the ground
watch this and he says to the boy
hey you and the boy turned his head
and he says is this not the fun is this not the immutable knowledge of all buddhists
and they set to the boy
what's buddha and the boy hesitates and
i get disoriented and kind of stumbles off into the dust
and then he says is this not the fundamental affliction of ignorance
so the boys sentient being
and
while he's got his stories
and then you say hey you
but you just turns his head
just like a buddha would if you say hey you
he's living in his living in this
in this fundamental affliction of ignorance
he's living in this story land where unenlightened beings live
i brought this to show you
and the teacher says hey you
but he's not caught by a story he turns his head
like a buddha would so of a booty say hey you could just turn her head not caught by the she's not living in the story on the buddha people should not be caught say hey you to me
on the buddha you have to hey you to the buddha
why you don't really
there's a story like that you don't do that to the border you don't say hey you man
actually i do have a story like that but usually but when you do that you realize that's kind of not appropriate to be talking
to the great teacher that way it's not really kind of the right thing to do as a story like that and the buddha knows that story
but the buddha's not caught by their story so you say hey you to buddha buddha can say yo
and that boy could to yeah
that's what buddhists can do
they they understand the stories so they don't cut by them
and this story arises
gotta buddha here and people should be respectful and in this story arises or they're not be respectful and you don't stick to you the one you got
that's the as a buddhist can do they know how to do that
and that boy does do
working with the same material
but i caught by it
then then he says was buddha in the boy
the the men masters asking me what's buddha
catch catch catch
hesitates trouble there it is that's the that's the fundamental affliction that but
that's what happens to you when you have ignorance is you get get hung up on the story
cause you to understand send you get hung up
but the same story
right there
you're not hung up
and that's what good is know how to do it right there
sentient beings means living beings that are not fully awakened to what a living beings they don't understand stories yet
that's what they've got to work with but still there are not separate from the buddha's so they can immediately turn at some point and not be caught his path of least resistance the pat another word is the path of least action is not a physical principle principle of relativity and pensive book principle of least action thing
it's actually go physical things actually go
according to ward's as a least least work whereas we imagined stories where there's more work than necessary and get stuck in those stories and get tired out even though everything's still flying right according to koran course we
get stuck
so the first or just tells half the test
the second story shows both sides
same person one time they're not stuck the next time they are stuck first time you're like a buddha next time you're like a sentient being stuck
and i had to spread his new yorker this is a new yorker february twelfth
is that your abraham lincoln's birthday
it's got picture of to new york magazine so it's probably a new york subway
a all these people in the subway with other people
in his is little you know bubbles above your head
of their dreams but the about the relationship with the other people on there
there are dreaming they all tell him the l a star stories are rising in their minds about their relationship with the other people on the
subway
so there's one young man who's carrying like looks like arts art student
and he's he's
he may he might be asian is you might be japanese or chinese cut straight black hair he's gotta a little how already caught them
portfolio kick care portfolio to carry his artwork and he's looking at another are you at a
kind of a buxom but also potentially asian girl
and he's dreaming of her being his model for his paintings is dreaming of painting her in the nude
and she's
dreaming of him and her getting married
what their clothes on
and then there's a
a man of african descent reading a magazine he's dreaming of a a huge super woman carrying him around
and
then there's in a man who's his arm raised and he's looking at this woman in front of him and dreaming of kissing her and she's thinking of how smelly he is

and then there's as line moon with a dog and the dogs the dogs dreaming of chasing your cat
and the blind woman who sitting next to a woman who has a crying baby is dreaming of the baby not crying
and the woman with the babies dreaming of going for a walk in the park with the blind woman and her dog in her baby
so everybody in the bus america in the could be a bus to as pose bus or subway is dreaming about their relationship with the world and then other people and we get to see actually the whole story here
this is kind of a buddha as i view of the situation
but this is like this is the normal situation
but if we are generous with this normal situation we can find the way
not to be caught by the normal situation so we to the we don't need to go to an abnormal situation where nobody's dreaming
and then if nobody's dreaming you think what then we wouldn't be caught
no because then you would think not not dreaming was edited to be caught in not dreaming you tighten up around that finally i got rid of all this dreaming
worries about what's going on
i have no ideas
so then i'm really in touch with reality
so then you're stuck there so then you don't see the light either
and a lot of him in zan and other buddhist schools some teachers some students thing that having no thought and therefore no stories and therefore no karmic consciousness that that would be nirvana
but
this tradition saying not discriminating not thinking is not not discriminating wisdom
so you can't tell in this picture some of these people are studying all their stories at they're having to study one after another
as they as they changed from one to another or that if they knew at the other people's stories where that they would be able to study and be interested in their stories as much as their own and they'd be able to see that the other people's stories i really their own they just didn't know yet until they were told
but when they were told they all that's my story too
join here miles story before i heard your story and representatives know
you know
so these stories are going according to that statement are boundless
there's no end to them really they really don't have hands
there unclear or you could say obscuring and there's no there's actually no fundamental there's nothing to get a hole in them
and yet they are sufficient
for us to
go through them in a path that's not the path that requires the least action
so then we get stressed
and i also am
i forgot the lyrics particular something like this
i mean the are another thing or some like this to tell me help me it's just the same old story
a tale of love and glory
why
a fight for love and glory
what a case of do or die
what
the fundamental things apply
as time go by
a kiss is just a kiss
a smile is just smile
oh no you must remember this
a kiss is just a kiss a smile is just a smile
a size the sigh i thought of the scientists say
but then i'd somebody told me it was a smile anyway
you must remember this a kiss is just a kiss a smile is just as smile the fundamental things in life the fundamental things apply and as time goes by
back to the beginning it goes
it's just the same old story a fight for love and glory
a case of do or die
okay that's a situation right
now you must remember this in a situation like this with these old stories these boundless stories you can't get away from them and their do or die stories
and there's the stories of fighting for love and glory and you know etc
against the axis of evil

fighting from my way which is true he's kind of stories in such a situation which we happen to be in
surrounded by other people who are dreaming hi guys
remember
a kiss is just a kiss
a sigh is just a sigh a sound is just a sound smell is just a smell or touch is just a touch
this is the fundamental things apply as time goes by k no time to run by again
it'll be the same time going back a kiss is just a kiss
that's it that's it
can have another one
it's just that
there's not another there's just that
don't overwork
but we have to train ourselves into
just a kiss
just a sigh
there is be generous with those cases
be generous with the size it's a aside and said okay i'll give that side to that side
give that kiss to their kiss
totally participate in the thing
being just that and that's a complete it with your generosity
what as time goes by other words moment after moment practice that way remember this moment after moment
these tales of love and glory in fights of love and glory way will continue but this is a way you practice in such a
dramatic setting which is all we've got
and you know and sometimes people get dramatically undramatic stories extremely boring stories
and those actually are very auspicious because that means that the tales of hatred and greed of kind of like waned and now the command tell you that is boring
so go back to those exciting ones again
caroline
hi caroline i'm still thinking about the long story
you're thinking about the lindzey story with yes and yeah had stripped as good keep thinking about i say it
can you explain why it was appropriate for him to get both of his teachers that
why was appropriate did did it help them gain i
definitely
his his activity
is there is a deepening of their enlightenment
his exercise of freedom
oh so it's not
the fact that it's the
fact that he felt free to yes his freedom his joyful liberation deepens their enlightenment
one boy was very happy about this you know
he was having a good time
with this
it didn't really hurt him to have that that spot didn't hurt him
and the yell didn't hurt him he was very happy about it he was delighted
that this person realised his freedom
and then every time this person that demonstrated it's a joy just like again when you see someone you love and they demonstrate their freedom and you you enjoy that that deepen your understanding
here are pretty much as student pretty much
what else
i could be just an observer i say okay
i'm accompanied my friend sal and i'm very grateful
can you hear him
little a little louder really
i am very grateful to be here today
can a problem is subject to such an event
so i could easily make you sorry for bringing rudy
i could easily have been just that
like i said sir very called that a day that it's been a very enlightening experience to be here
have had a lot of great teachers and it means all of you
call it
the story of lindsay and made me aware of all mammals
last night
in talking with a handy sell
i'm telling one of my stories that brought up
that's yet another individual that says or you're just like that individual must no that's not me
and of all started to laugh will support you
hey and i thought that one of the most difficult things is to let go of your own stories and it's
and out of all the things that are learned and i think that that's probably the thing during the animals is to be able to let go and
that it's gonna be a very difficult task serve in the it
and i appreciate and i appreciate the setting that that's a lot
so i thank you on

is as a spanish is rudy's first language i'd probably yeah
but his english is very good man notice there's a kind of bodycon idiom called we say an observant christian
or an observant jew right somebody who's observing the practices of that tradition
okay
right
so has taken me what he was what if what he learned here as most important thing he felt he learned here was to let go and that's what an observant so-called buddhist that's what a buddhist practices his letting go
including letting go of buddhism
and one of the way you can testify that go to buddhism is see if
are the stories from people from other religions can be your stories which is very difficult for some some out when a jehovah's witness comes
and it's not so much that they could call a jehovah's witness but really it's a person
who's got a story
and they say they're jehovah's witness as part of their story so then they tell you their story which some other jaw was britain as might say no as mad as my my story but all these jehovah's witnesses one of one of which is my sister they come and they tell you stories and then you think
well jeez that's kind of like not my story

so the in some ways i would say you know i have the story that a buddhist dislike like not holding onto that's not my story and might think that didn't see to in my story but i'm not going to hang onto that it's not my story
just
there's a story
which comes up in my mind
they're not hear their story and i make a story of that and they seem to be
i don't see them reflecting each other
okay but i want to let go of not just like go at their story but let go of the story that they're not related and let go of my story
this is the observant the practitioner is actually working on that but it's hard
it's hard
you have this understanding of islam okay
and i want to know there's other upstairs and other other understanding of islam you have just understanding of judaism yeah just understanding of christianity there's other understandings
and also there is cutting through all of them
and that's i think what everybody
once guy who got happiness because the truth cut through all stories
doesn't get stuck in any human story but human beings bless their hearts
hard living in story land
hey
sarah who
wait
why should i just said i said human beings are you're not going to be
how are you not a human being
pardon us the i said human beings are in storyline
and you said several ways i've got maybe you're not a human here
are you are you a fuck are you redd foxx
are you redd foxx time oh and you have stories to
well thanks for coming
ha ha ha
hoof
hey

anybody can come up
and you'd want to come alone you can bring a friend if you want
well i wanted to come up because yesterday this is what i was avoiding
i'm already spoken my
what happened that i want to say it is being and plays okay america
well yesterday when i sing your song sitting in the back and read said move up and i said i immediately said my wasn't wearing away from you
and the men and i said i knew i was
is like the where that i didn't
so i thought i was moving away
that was that then read out and told her story about hiding
that's my story
and as it was it was really
important
his apartment discovering i really didn't understand that story
a long time and i got it through moving to different communities and avoiding
that connection
and coming here
i'm wanting to be connected on someone but then
not wanting to be connected but then not doing it
wanting to connect but not collecting yeah somehow
and it's my story feeling safer to when when you're not connected with my just
and i'm listening to us
i feel i feel quite relieved
right now

i was looking down at my shirt and let somebody else gave me that it says snowed in
having fever says cabin fever and so i feel like i did have come out of the mountains feeling that way
you came out of the mountains feeling that way snow
having cabin fever
and then actually got out you wanna go back in the cabin
okay
take your advice
a little song
connect with other people
in other words realize your connection with people by doing rituals like going and grabbing people and punching him
i haven't him
we are connected but we'll get distracted so that we have to do something to realize it like go and sit together and walked together this morning when you're walking meditation just a while ago and i sat here and i just wanted to let you walk forever
he was so beautiful walking together so calmly wasn't that nice so nice for quiet so
but even though it isn't that could be nice period forever also it's nice to give it away
this give it away and sit down
so yeah we do these things for you can feel connected in but it's really to realize the truth that we are
the do something do it now it will start to do what we want we want like not do it anymore
i hope we don't want to
we do want to feel connected so they will make a big effort in our like we
leave minnesota and drive all the way across the country to be with a teacher and then want to get there
in the teacher turns on us and says i'm here for you totally he said well it's okay maybe later
what you say i know you know
intensity so
that it makes me
yeah right
and i just want say i felt that way with suzuki roshi to
that when he actually like gave me his total attention i often feel like why don't want to take any more your time
it's okay thanks a lot of you later

just i will i get started on my story and say slow down
yeah sometimes people tell me their story and they tell it they say it so fast
because they don't want to notice that i'm listening to it

thank you are
you're welcome
and you see there was one of remind me about junior yes please
have a story to share what is appropriate for the group because you're talking about finding teachers last night yes
i have been studying a long time with leslie temple thursday
she isn't i'm from
particular religion she had him to teachers
and then i started going to hear ideas shanti who seems very clear i started to go to here are just shanti it seems very clear and sharp and i went on retreats with him here and enjoyed them very much and the last time i went on a retreat with him i got kicked out at the retreat
and i don't want to go until a lot of details
it was very interesting because i felt this was a community that i could maybe fit with i liked his teachings i still go to listen to him but i won't sign up but it was treat with him and he kicked
i well i was kicked out because i could not stay the whole time i had obligations that came up
and
at that time i fell it was okay that the were somehow set me up for this experience
and
course i was more upset about it later when i could think about it when the thinking comes in but what i think the real message was that of course
in a way it had nothing to do with yeah shawty i think part of it was a lesson to see that i was depending on teachers too much of thinking that if i would go to retreats maybe i could be carrying through and not have to do as much work and so i
i think it was kind of the universe saying wake up it's time for you to do more of the work yourself and take on responsibility
and
sharing more yeah down
here's how it really was so
a very valuable retreat and very different from with other victory by had gone on before
and coming to this retreat i may have heard you talk once i wasn't really aware of were but i wanted the place in the time to to meditate and i've enjoyed it very much coming here has allowed me to appreciate
my other teachers more to and see that all of you are this part of this beautiful quill where you really all say the same thing but you say it very differently and being able to say it differently allows people to see things in different ways to come in to
no way that maybe you couldn't with somebody else or you couldn't
so thank you to
because we're we're in this together
hallelujah
the

i like to share this story and down
to let him go but i don't know how many times more i'm going to repeated before i let it go but i stayed with an intention about hope and for some of us and
perfect example of about twenty years ago if you would have seen me i was a rock totally destroyed the nature i was not relating to the trees to the person nothing totally disconnected and i wanted to have my backyard to come and concrete and the person who came
before comes he said why don't you put wait for two weeks because when you put the country's if you want to change it it's kind of hard so give yourself some time and within that to we i happen to go to this strong and there was a chanting program i went there
for a couple hours i kind of felt the energy i kind of felt the vibration of the chance came out of the chance and for two days i was in have less i was just connected to the whole birds were not these why
buying objects to me anymore trees were not the extra stuff that kind of puts in my backyard i could feel i could see i says every every line in the bird every and i could see my own hands i could see the lives i could see this perfect shape which before i was totally disconnected
so i'm sync with just the intention to just loosen up for some of us who love the nature just have some hope because there are people like he could be transporting just a matter of
the moment
thank you
so didn't put this samantha

you can come to suit you hitter
you can come to retire
huh
heidi
o k friday when we talk thank you think that
and i told you the story my family
having a very difficult situation
and
alcoholic nice
the and i had to take her to a homeless shelter
homeless shelter homeless shelter yeah i love with nice bright your beloved niece yes okay
and before i came here friday i was packing
i told you i accidentally didn't know i put on sarah brightman it's accidentally see the called time say goodbye and it just flattened me and i told you a lead to come on my bed and
what came to me was saying goodbye to my family letting go of my family
i mean that's pretty much a soon according to my family and i got scared because the question mccain and i'm hugh said about the question yesterday it was so right on you said it was difficult with the questions is ah what came to me was this
question came from my heart like you said not through my mind and the question was
really letting go
and i got scared because it was like
first got images of my family and then burn it all kinds of things came in and i jumped off the bit that well where does this in and then when i came for any and you said
in this reminds me of that on
when g story your students said about getting hit in the holding places
companies that you spoke my worst fear which was i said the question that came up his
what am i letting go and you said everything which was my care
what what's that mean and you uk i've asked you what thinking you gave me an answer but i lost it and what i got through the weekend is
everything is just the stories they just stories my family thing is just story so to loosen up
i'm around it is creating space and you said generous have been generous with and
i feel lot better and you said he almost guaranteed that would be a life or would be different light ah and it's true and the anything in it gets so aware of the support
you know no one knows that they all supported me what you know
and doing this thing i could not have done what i did and the way i get it
the south everybody supporting and then one more thing
when you return you came up and talked about masters and on
you know it's like knowing intellectually about masters and
what i got somehow in that conversation because you are a master at
i'll call it
the mind no knowledge of the mind and spirit and
it
go there are a master therapists bridge players golfers and it's somehow the feeling level took care of
in i ain't you know intellectually know you don't wanna be master of me where people that he keep saying over know that feeling level
it's like the scene said where we everybody's advanced learn from a race like i learned a lot from my niece mean we will we did and though
ah and i'll learn we start things but i can choose
two
the study master to know things that are bringing gonna bring more light in down just felt good read and i think it primarily had to do it a very authoritarian father and so
you know the masters came to this kind of titan me up fact i'm sure this he is to say as a kid he can he do it kind of a joking way but it does his fist in and a but up to your noses a smell your master
i hated it and i told him don't do that i am like sensitive to hot
so i had forgotten that till this
so
and one more thing and like talking that's why would you go up there in the center like
love your metabolism and a little bit
because we've gotta share and i learned and these other people come up here into this so even know and everyone talking heads
not money where you going to be more miserable sitting back before coming up here and i thought what i know could be
thank you to think everything

i think so teacher was next
does you want to do this offer or something
consider
we talked about this
story

a poem about attorney word

what
when when returning way
i hope i can remember it
i know i i i have a find it
yes
hell might take away
i'm this retreat
his generosity
when you spoke of generosity i took it as it is it has no limits no boundaries no preferences
so for
that nice wonderful lady spoke of her her knees and the pain that woman is going to felt that
if there is general city
and if there's no preference about it
the my generosity generalities for everyone
he's no longer matters because my daughter he said she said something but you didn't hear right
the face with
of stretch to kind of start from the beginning
sorry
so
my takeaway from this to is his best of your generosity and to region and also what i learned from you today
how's that this generosity has no limits no boundaries and no preferences it is something they offer to everyone in the universe
and everything and everything exactly and no judgment
and give to the give now at a meeting comes from you i understand them
i'm going to practice and grave but going back to the question my friend has for already feeling that she described my observation was that when we talk about generosity doesn't lie for helping over concerned about our nice
for our children are our brothers or sisters now our generosity is offered to the universe
so
we offer it to whoever is asking
well we lose we offer to whoever is asking but sometimes we can't hear them so we can give gifts even to those who don't ask
but like if someone asks you to give them a gift yes but some people you can't hear them but you can still give them to themselves
even though they didn't ask you to they still appreciate it
but the second said i've always taken in my life and to speak up please but they said that i've taken is that even if they dance they you offer i used to offer new people will not want me to continue for practice practice the other kind of giving
where you just let them be who they are
then amid they can't resist that
and you want to say anything to the merely you just look at them and you see them and you give them to themselves and you feel and you feel that's giving and it is
they don't have to hear from you
but if they see it they will be very happy because then they will be able to track learn it and practice it also
which is which they want to do
but they need somebody to show them
somebody has to show us this
this even though i've should were not born being conscious that we are doing this we actually are giving everyone to themselves
and we are actually giving ourselves to ourselves but were not conscious of it when our twin were children
so we need to be taught and taught
and taught
until we
i understand
he'd just come up enough to raise your hand just come up
he's is there a difference between this seat and vaccine
yes there's a difference
but they're not separate
what's the get
hmm the differences you feel different
fine difference a day
the differences she didn't you hear i said the differences she feels different
and she said it's a fine difference define difference yeah

the
i
i didn't need to feel the difference
thank you for feel in a difference calvin
hidden understand that that my shirts as
hook hook

huh
i like a little help with the practice of giving myself to others he like a pack help giving yourself to others yes it's more clear to me getting allergic to themselves yes readily will give myself
well i don't want to tell you the meaning of it okay
i'm
like if you're sitting you know can you have a feeling like you're giving your whole heart your city
like i'm just giving myself totally to this posture
and now you're looking at me can you feel just like you're giving yourself to me
the way your i'd give yourself to your posture
like
here steven he's yours
i'm yours can you do that
a site that it's like i'm yours it's like a friend of mine said she said she met some mayonnaise or what are you doing she said what do you need

on a good day that's what she says what do you need i'm yours
and i know like going grandsons say your mind i say you're right i'm yours but i'm also the other grandchildren's i'm also everybody's but i'm yours that's totally true i'm i'm here for you
i'm yours but i'm also here for your sister and your mother in your dad and
but right now i'm here with you and i'm yours
but if somebody else needs me i'm there's stir
but you know you really can be i'm yours and each person i'm yours it means it it has a different meaning which you can enjoy
the way your everybody's
and i've swam to for
underline the part about the difference between staying back there and staying up here coming up here but the that coming up here is not so familiar i encourage you to go
in an unfamiliar directions
more he can hang out in the familiar areas to but that
come to the unfamiliar
come and be awkward with me
awkward and new awkward in the unfamiliar embarrassed
clumsy
that's where that is it's not and hang out the areas where you're totally cool
and got it all worked out
although you know if you wanna go there sometimes fine

please come to the unfamiliar
but if you don't i'll let you be that way
have you asked my wow and if you feel like i'm getting impatient with you hanging out
where you're familiar let me know please course that will require you to go some place on familiar
but that's not so unfamiliar right giving me feedback that i'm being impatient with your are you feel like i am
have i don't know
yeah you know to get going to no room to do it
you can save from a distance and then used to be able to bodnar ask you to come in the middle and say it
i have the idea i didn't really up at it got up
my heart up it
i don't know much time left so i don't want to farm
i don't want to
collude in
ah
you know when call collector
hiding

yeah
what keith comey hasn't come yet
while this was not a part of my story
coming up here was now part of the story you have what is always going to happen when elizabeth said what's the difference between
experience sounded sound be here
we can is bad

fascinating
the different stories that i've gone through
have been many different stories even though i've got caught in it was also been a part of me sitting here watching the story
it's just sort of amazing
hi
it's even more amazing when i get to step back
watch it rather than get lost
stories
this is the first retreat i sharing with
this is the first retreat i've shared with you
my spiritual practice is different
kriya yoga and so listening to the teachings here i found myself currently feeling like
is it wrong for me to be here because it is not like tradition that was only a soft
i am
at the same time listening to the teachings so much relates to exactly
that's wonderful
and what woman said earlier that and listening to the parts of the teachings that don't sound the same actually helps me
go deeper into
the meaning of what my teaching
yes so i appreciate
the differences
and that helps me on my
hi i'm leaving here
to go on to a camping trip vacation to joshua tree
coming from one of my reasons for coming was i thought this would be a good transition from my other life and to the desert
and it's been a wonderful transition for me
because i in the desert i will be totally without people
which i love and i like that experience
in silence and and
where can go deep into the
but teachings and the wonders of nature which
that to
but they this transition has allowed me to connect with so many wonderful souls as i live in that connection
and moving into them nine connection to people
a occurred to me that it was because i came and to the weekend was a lot of heavy tired
feeling sort of exhaustive what relating
but what i've found here is that there is a with all new there's a
clean us in the way that
they've experienced reacting interacting with you that
sort of help me release saw the uncleanness that have brought them to this weekend which then frees me more readily to fully going to my joshua tree
everyone
he's not too bad setting
the
what i would like to ask is
to be a space
two totally allow myself to feel the harm
but at the same time nothing is being heart
so
huh
so my experience is that funny stories are really obvious
and those are easy to let go on to to see
no it just well you know that's questionable start so we fear but the ones that i find difficult were the ones that aren't obvious it's like some of them are up on the computer screen and here i am i'm a story
and there are others that all you know is that you know the blue screen comes on and seven going on there
i guess the question
is teasing those things out and
because they're obviously their stories
then i feel i to let go for example with through the fear of coming and sitting up here and then i have a story that i've watched everyone come up here have a compassion experience and but then there's a sphere
and there's obviously some story that's not the story that and where it's something else
while the and the more challenge you want
i'm i'm suggesting to you that if you sit with quietly with him
and don't try to get anything with no expectation in other words surround the story with generosity to be present with it
june actually be with it can do generous way it will it will eventually tell you
you know
who you are who it is what it is he was he will you will tell you it's secrets
it would you know it will show you it's light
and you said tease out but you can tease out of his generous and generous teasing getting or giving teasing not teasing to control but teasing as an offering or teasing as a you know just to see what happens kind of teasing like come up here to see what it's like is on i'll go check it out to it's like
not trying to get something from it or just go i'm i'm i'm going to see where site
did you want to come in and talk to us yeah
yeah you can you can commend money
so does that look good look to stories with this kind of generous mind and it will reveal itself to you however study everything about the story
but the challenges for me it's not even having any idea of what story and for time it there's obviously something there
well that that's a story you just hold
it's a certain kind of story would you find particularly troublesome probably to the top story for you
be damage with that when to let it be very obscure an elusive and
mysterious if that's the kind of story or into it seems like you are
it's the kind of guy you are
so and that may be hard for you to be patient and generous with who you are you might want to be a different app different kind of stories there would be more obvious
some other people were like to have years and have you turned there's
but thank you for coming and sitting here
and i want to say something to you know people come up here and now it's guy with to develop sort of spontaneous and ritual here can come up in a balance and down and new bound to leave and some extent i feel like what are in bali for you know divine to me while sort of kind of bind to me
but maybe not
but it seems appropriate for didn't about sort of to me because i have this role of taken care of this place where you get to come and be
so this is kind of a sacred spot and i'm taking care of it you could bought everybody that be fine too but i am kind of like giving my time to provide this place here so you're bound to the one who makes a place for you in a place for you to talk to the one who makes place for you so this bowing to each other seemed
kind of developed and i kind of feel okay about it
and now we have a young man has come to
to get feedback on the weekend so please
the i'm sure to see some feedback
he continues to
as we receive email
i just have a quick for questions
the your way
and i want to let me know that i'm going to put some evaluation sheets on the table outside if you guys were you get
so superstar how are the meals
the future
the facilities
observation

i guess

it would like us

this was an accident coffee maker
there was an accident
they will check

hi

it'll leave
by room
got a comment or question for everyday
the fire system as
lot of distractions
the chef and an invitation
during this session
how your times
yeah somebody that over an alpha speakers
it's like this

the

the next question is in regards to the center staff how's your experience with center staff

and the last question in regards to how you what your experiences like within a community we have another school there's a teacher
as well as is very worrisome

and then another com service think you like they can say from really stuck out as a really good
introduction back of directors
these kinds of town
the

i have another one i i i really enjoy reserves in the morning and to see him playing the match
you're long and very much
you ever
hey i just want to remodel guys that were going through that guys so you don't hurry you have to a movie like that
how we wanted to you can retire
look at invite all bad hombres by yourself and the pendant
well this product for the personal retreat for you can sit back enjoy the place before
i the there
you can do that applying for sending a problem
and then think you know the innocent to me
the one to work
invented our community he has himself

this my good time to make an announcement recording
okay
helped here where you like ponder so as a second
this is a little bit and experimental project this isn't something that we've done
before as a routine planet so it's a will there's a little bit chaotic because it isn't just work data pre plan and it might have been easier if i had heard a little sign up sheets are told you what to do whatever it that's not there so hope you can have here with us
i recorded out the sessions in digital form and i can offer them as m p three files primarily
rob has agreed generously that they can be posted on his website for correctness and there so is linked to talks and italy on the talks like he's so firearms with the website is this tops link and they will be m p three files do now
or podcasts are simple and and the same to the confusion of your that pool where could have been so that if you have access to being able to download m p three
you should be able to get our profiles data
if not
proposed that you emailed to me and i can give you i can reduce individually cds with the m p three files on them and mail them back to you and i'm doing this as completely as a donation and so they asking
in for you to send me a check made out to rob anderson have to go to him
and i guess i'm asking for minimum donation of twenty dollars for the one c d
more less if you feel generous to be worth more to him
thousand dollar checks knows except for
yes if i this is going to take a few weeks because i need to for i need to process it and to be in tassajara for your next week
and then it'll take a little while to get onto the website also so i thought i'd write my the website at the email address i thought i'd write it down or if people don't have pins i have seen repeated
but it's i made this address the well ago it's called wrap recording
just r e b r a c r d i n g f link line dot com l i n g l i n
he live line
if for some reason they've got it you can also email to read assistant f f f c v dot org which we catherine and she from florida where if for some reason that connection doesn't work i give you an argument
i olivia shaken forward any requests to me and i will respond with an email with a p o box address at my home in malmo in you send me a check and they'll send you a cd back
i've heard us so beyond the digital files it's very tedious and time consuming to to with these ideas cds for me and i've set up to do that if there is anybody who is unable to work with the m p three files or
doesn't have access to email and or whatever please save the later and maybe with more get something else

and know that's the maybe i need to be clear on that the city it's a city of these m p three files many new players and dvd players will actually play them directly if that it's actually they're actually digital computer files they will not these days
this will not play in the regular by the music cd player
does
but if you have access to maybe some friends who know how to work with the stuff that to convert it for you learn or whatever that if there's no alternative email me or talk to me later and maybe i can i might be able to make one or two said it's just a huge stack of don't you don't do
oh it paul too much work for you
are
it useful for being computer yeah be computer for the just kidding
it plays on any computer and also plays on ipods or any of these other little digital things some of which cost like fifty bucks now so if you but you've found one to twenty m m p three is so you should be able to find a device that could play it and maybe somebody
take it from the computer desk onto the device if you have minded
yes yes learning to be
that sufficient
you been here

so i wanted to mention butter
the dual mere and
everything you look at he is really a jewel mirror
these are jewel mirrors
if you understand that what you're looking at
is you and also not you
and the instruction is that
you know
right in the darkness of the mirror is the light and right in the light of the marriage darkness
but you don't if it's dark you don't try to see the light and if it's light you don't try to see the dark and they were your generous with what you're given here
it also says that
when i said it also says i mean there's a text about this jewel mirror and text about the jewel mere awareness says that if you're excited it becomes a pitfall and if you hesitate
you're lost
so you had to develop this way of looking at your stories where you're not going to excited about them
and you're not hesitating
somebody says hey you
what is it
how'd you meet that generously with like an exciter hesitate in that space
you can see that what you're looking at he is not you but actually issue
and usually we're looking at if you look inwardly
here's looking at your store you see can see your story if you're looking outwardly
you're saying your story
outwardly
a story of this but actually it's inside
so this is the medic this is how to work with this june mirror but you have to be not excited or hesitant
otherwise again
you found a pet score has a are in i feel left out
huh
he started getting i started getting excited
about a half an hour ago i started thinking
it was thinking i had
story
prettiest free of stories
a story
i never can see what
that i really
opportunity to come forward and the teacher
so that it was
i place to comfort in this setting because
doesn't have
and then i felt i also have a story
the second one but there was one related
but then i was wanting to come forward
and maybe this was the second story suddenly a lot of people who were not coming forward and tell us when we're coming that's when i started to get excited because i started to fear
opportunity
service
energetic patients felt
wish to come
wasn't there
wish to be here
oh the other story
have some stories was i don't know what my job
so there's a part of me
doing my job
if there's something as i said to pub that something i always feel like there's something i need to be doing that i don't know what it is
paul said oh yes that's our conditioning universe
sublime and specifically those playing at web store
my confession
are you generous with this situation
my story is terrorism
are you enjoying being generous with it
yes oh yes

he
have also been are excited an
gary for about half an hour because i wanted
i told myself a lot of stories about
ah
when catherine was here experiencing the difference between
has tried to figure out how i can
take the experience or create experience of this seat
when i'm not here for you
then i saw them that i was trying to her mind
this experience
didn't make it a lot better
said that didn't make it a lot better did you hear you said before
how far that
why think that the key point about did you hear what you said you think considering how she could feel what she feels when she's sitting here in other places that don't seem that aren't exactly here
schneider who i'd like to i'd like to be you
and what is it about this that you'd like to be experiencing
throughout your day
writing
in in the wake of your wisdom connected in the wake of the wisdom yeah
yeah you like to feel that all day
or maybe not all day but quite frequently visited l it began with a few with few breaks perhaps your neck
probably month break from i felt that way
ha
so she's that was one day she said and then
and then i realized that i was trying to hold onto it
this experience
by
try to recreate this experience at home in my world
i'll be missing experience that i might be having in that moment
when you when you come up here and sit here to feel like you're
ah
at the practice of generosity was alive
her is alive now to feel the purchase of generosity is alive now
some way
in some way month feeling fear right now i wanna say something that i'm telling myself father scary
he feeling fear cushy because your back to say something that you're afraid to say
and you haven't looked so of the generous around that yeah
when the thing that i wanted to explore like i did a story i don't know
the story that i have
the way of told the sometimes in the past i'd love to be around people my favorite image of how to do that if i go to the farmer's market and there's all this joyful energy and fresh produce and i like to leave my way and now but i don't really interact with anything and just with
people and down
i like that but i'm aware
it's kind of what i have lived up to this moment and way up done here they come up here and i'm visible
i don't really like
many people
you've been talking about
the way we all are each children
support
yes
and i've been feeling moment
whether people

brings me joy and fear
so as an experiment i was wondering
if we might to the thing that we get along storied where we went around and said i mean i'll ever be like to do that because i would like to
recognize each prison here and the way supporting each other and feel that for i wondered if
i'm i'm happy to i am
i would like to go sit over there we do it
that i can be hard at the circle you okay

haftar many years of going to a place that set up to feel like you're in a place that set up to feel like you're in a place
like someone came to me and said
ha at or session a gringo some academy and said in in my little rooms it thanks for providing
thanks for being here and caring for a place where people can feel like they're here
place to set up to help people feel like they're in the place they are
rather than setting up places which tell you to go someplace else
quickly and spend money
and then you'll be a success
after many years of coming to a place has set up to help you feel like you're in a place you are
without holding onto that you feel like you're in that place
without you know you just used to more and more feel like you live in that place cause you have been actually living in that place repeatedly has started to sink in and you're always in that place