It says that if there's no... It don't seek immediately at rest. It don't seek immediately at rest. There's no you in there. It's not seeking immediately tranquil, immediately calm. Could that be so? May that be so? This is supposedly one of those that work. And then I looked here, which I thought meant seat. And it does. But I also noticed that an alternative way of writing this character, this character here, this part down here, this part here of this character, pie.

[01:07]

There's another way of writing pie, too. This is one of the ways of writing pie ball. And then the part underneath is legs. Eyes on legs means to look. So this character means to look for, to seek. But the alternative way of writing this character is like this. Same bottom, but on top they have this, which means don't. So this part down here means to look. Eyes on top of the legs means to look. And the whole character means to look for or to search. Another way of writing it, a don't look, means look. Kind of interesting. But this is another way to write it, which kind of collapsed the don't so you don't get too shocked by the don't on top of the look.

[02:12]

But anyway, don't look for anything. Don't search. Don't seek anything. And immediately, there's tranquility. Of course when you, of course when we, of course when there is seeking, then of course you're seeking outside, so of course seeking is based on the distinction between here and there, and in between. It's based on the distinction of self and other. It is and it isn't and all that. So you seek something, I guess you seek something because you think something isn't. So you seek it is. So when you seek, you get into all these distinctions of existence, non-existence, self, other, you know, all that. But if there's no seeking, there's immediately. In this character here, it's not like later. It's not like you stop seeking and then there's no seeking and then later you're calm.

[03:14]

When there's no seeking, it's immediately calm. When I was away, I did a workshop in Palo Alto, which was for a group that's primarily a vipassana group. And the name of the workshop was The Hidden Teaching of Samatha Vipassana in Zen. So there's a lot of vipassana people there. So I talked to him about the nature of Samatha. The nature of Samatha is like this. The nature of Samatha is there's no seeking. By no seeking we have calm abiding. But one of them said something, they quoted Gil Fronsdale. I guess somebody asked him, you know, well, do they have concentration practices in Zen? He said, yeah, but you can't have it. So we have concentration in Zen, but you can't have it. So the first part is, if there's no seeking... There's immediate, immediate tranquility.

[04:15]

But then you can't have it. That's the next part. First of all, by not seeking anything, you're calm. Second of all, you don't grasp the calm. Somebody gave me a little story. which I thought it was kind of a celebration of relationship. Once when I was training in Aikido, it was my turn to be attacked and then try to throw. My partner was a rather large man, and I am a tiny woman. We were proceeding along, one time I threw and felt absolutely nothing.

[05:24]

Usually, even with a good throw, you feel something, some force of body, moving body. Maybe harmonious, but you feel it. This time I felt nothing. My thought was, wow, I completely missed. Then I turned around to face him again, expecting he'd be back up starting to his next attack. But he was still on the mat, on his back, looking dazed. He said, wow, that was a powerful throw. And it took him a while to gather himself to get up. So in my subjective experience, I'd missed completely, done nothing. But in the relationship, something very strong had happened. So that was like that story I told, too, about the judo, with the judo master.

[06:32]

The relationship did this amazing thing, which surprised me, surprised him, surprised the whole class. And then, of course, one wants to get that relationship, right? Get that relationship to do that again. But it never did. And so that was like this other story, very similar stories of... And so I feel like that's, you know, that's shogas, you know, that's zazen. That's the actual working that we're talking about, the actual working of the Buddha way, the actual turning of the Dharma wheel. It's, you know, if in terms of what we usually do, we miss it. It's nothing at all. It is tremendously powerful working, but it's not something we do.

[07:38]

If we stop seeking, it's realized. And then if we don't grasp it, in other words, it's realized, zazen is realized, but we can't have it. And it coming by us not trying to get it comes as a gift when we give up trying to get. And then once it comes, It continues to roll forward when we don't grasp it. It's always actually turning, but no one knows what it is. If all the Buddhas take all their wisdom put together, they can get some idea of the merit of zazen, but they can't fully understand the merit of zazen. They can't get it. But we can somehow, not we can, but somehow, yeah, we can, not we can, but there is a body which is leaping into zazen. Okay, did you want to sing your song now?

[08:51]

Yeah, Ninen, you want to sing your song now? I'd like you to, yeah. Come on up, sing it. This is what's known as an altar call. Want to do that? I release and I let go. I let my Holy Spirit flow. And I'm one in the Spirit and you're only to hold me. That's it. Thank you for your song. I really need to release and let go. I really want to release and let go. I really need to release and let go.

[09:54]

I really want to release and let go. Longbo also says, you know, among many kinds of knowledge, and there are many kinds of wonderful knowledge, non-seeking is the best. So, recently someone came to me and talked to me about various kinds of study that he wanted to do. And I thought, boy, that sounds like fun, that study. But I felt a little bit of seeking, so I said, forget it. After you're not seeking anymore, you can do that study. But for now, you've got to do the best first. First realize non-seeking, and then you can train your mind by studying these wonderful teachings.

[10:59]

Of course, Ben, just reading the Avatamsaka Sutra, he's not trying to get anything, so he can keep reading it. But if he starts studying it, the book will be taken away from him. It's very much the same, yeah. When I was in high school, one of my sports that I played was called the shot put. And I was the best shot putter in the state. In practice, shot put is an iron ball. And you throw it. Like this. I was the best in the state in practice.

[12:07]

But in the meets, I would get tense. And as I went through that motion, I would think about doing it. And it cut my throw down by probably 20%. And actually, my school was a very good track school. So the top three shot putters were in the same school. So even though I was better than him in practice, one of them consistently beat me in the meats because he was like, I think he was on some kind of sedative. Or some kind of blocker that blocked his thinking about doing things. He was very smooth. He just went . And I heard, and this is similar to, what is it, I heard one bassist say, you know, discipline, [...] and then jazz bassist, and then just throw the discipline out the window.

[13:16]

Forget it. Yes? Did you have your hand raised over there somewhere? Somebody? No? So anyway, Zazen is this non-seeking, calming down, and then not grasping the calming down. And it's not just that, though. It's this inconceivable working that's going on all the time. And somehow one can enter that flow of this Dharma wheel turning that we read about in the Self-fulfilling Samadhi. You can enter that Samadhi. Actually, we're in the samadhi all the time, but you can let go of your sense of not being there. And your sense of not being there is seeking. When you're seeking, you're basically seeking to get someplace, but one of the places you might want to get is into that samadhi.

[14:17]

And if you got in that samadhi, one of the things which would throw you out would be holding on to that samadhi. So the self-fulfilling samadhi is happening constantly. As it says, I think the ceaseless, unremitting, unnameable, unthinkable, unstoppable, ungraspable Buddha Dharma, this samadhi is going on all the time. It's just that our seeking and grasping either keeps us out or throws us out. Even though the seeking and grasping is totally included in this samadhi. It's not. It completely surrounds it. So as another image, somebody says, you know, it's like we're these islands in this sea of relationship. It's all around us all the time. And then sometimes the island nature of the self just melts, sometimes happens.

[15:22]

So again, I was talking yesterday about these forms we use and how they're an opportunity to test whether there's any seeking or grasping. And somebody came to me and talked about, is it OK for us to do these forms, these monastic forms, practice these virtues, in a sense of celebrating the actuality of the practice. So it's not so much that we go to the zendo to do zazen, because zazen's going on before and after we go to the zendo, and also why we are in the zendo, but we go to the zendo not to get something, not to get calm, and not to hold calm, if it should come, but we go to celebrate not seeking zazen.

[16:32]

Which is to celebrate not seeking zazen. In other words, to celebrate the calm mind of not seeking. To celebrate not seeking. Not even to go to zendo, to not seek. But just to go to celebrate not seek. So we do this little celebration. And the way we celebrate it is we sit. We sit. But it's like, it's kind of like more like, yay Zazen, rather than give me Zazen. It's more like, thank you Zazen. I came to thank you Zazen. Thank you Zazen. Thank you Zazen. The way I thank you Zazen is I sit. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you Zazen. Not give me Zazen. Where are you Zazen? This isn't Zazen. This is Zazen. This isn't Zazen. I don't know what Zazen is, but thank you, Zazen. I don't know who you are, but thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Every moment, thank you. Praise Zazen. Welcome, Zazen.

[17:35]

You're welcome here, Zazen. You're welcome. I'm not trying to get you to come here, but I welcome you. I know you're already here, so you've come well. That was good, Zazen. Hey, you came well. That was good. Keep it up, boy. This is great. I'm so happy to be celebrating Zazen here. Not trying to get it. And now that it's come, I say thank you, but I'm not trying to hold it. Because I know it's coming again. Here it comes again. Here it's coming on. It's coming on heavy now. Whoa. Here's this Zazen. Thank you. [...] Thank you, Zazen. Now, are you sitting up there saying thank you? Are you celebrating Zazen on your seat? Are you trying to get zazen? Are you greedy, like, say, I don't have enough zazen, give me more zazen. Or are you like, hey, thank you for this, thank you for zazen. Oh, today, by the way, Leslie and I know, today is March 12th.

[18:45]

Did you know that, Helen? Whoa. She's up to date. She's abreast of the times. So it's March 12th, so... Oh, happy day. Oh, happy day. When Zazen walks. Oh, when it walks. When Zazen walks. Oh, when it walks. When Zazen walks. Oh, when it walks. He washed my sins away. Oh, happy day. Oh, happy day. What did you say? I said... You need a zazen to wash those sins away.

[19:53]

Is it coming to you now? Is it loosening up, that not doing anything? So this story, which I didn't read you yesterday, is really kind of a, it's like a little, well, it's kind of like a little, you know, Taoist hamlet story. It's like this story, you know, this Chuang Tzu, it's kind of interesting what they do. They make up stories about Confucius. Actually, this story about Confucius, or Kung Fu Tzu and his main disciple, it makes Confucius a really wise Taoist. But they just tell stories about Confucianism, which didn't really happen, but which, you know, where Confucian or Komfutsa is giving his Taoist instructions.

[20:55]

I say it's like Hamlet because his main disciple comes to him and tells him about this. It's kind of like a lot of the Zen stories where the student's been training a long time and they're ready to leave the monastery and go out into the world. to benefit beings. So Confucian training is supposed to train you to basically help nations, help states, help governors and leaders govern well. So this guy comes to, this guy, what's his name? What's his name? Yan Hui, Confucius' favorite student, he comes and says, well, there's this king who, like, you know, he's really doing a bad job, and I want to go, like, convert him from his evil ways. He likes, you know, he takes his people and sends them out to war and, you know, they get slaughtered and stuff like that.

[22:04]

He just really is really causing a lot of trouble, so I'm going to go convert him. So Confucius says, well, what are you going to do? And he tells him, well, I'm going to do blah, blah, and blah, blah, and blah, blah. And Confucius says, well, how will that help? And he says, well, how about if I do blah, blah, and blah, blah, and blah, blah? And he says, well, how would that help? And he says, well, how about if I do blah, blah, and blah, blah, and blah, blah? And he says, well, how would that help? And the guy says, what should I do? And Confucius says, you must fast. And the guy says, well, you know, my family's poor and I haven't had any, like, rich food for a long time. I'm on a totally low-fat diet and so on and so forth. So, you know, is that what I should be doing? He said, that's the body fasting. You have to fast your mind. to fast your mind. May I ask, what is the fasting of the mind?

[23:11]

And Confucius says, make your will one. Don't listen to your ears. Don't listen with your ears. Listen with your mind. Don't listen with your mind. Listen with your spirit or your energy or your breath Listening stops with the ears. Mind stops with cognition. But energy is empty and waits on all things. The way gathers in emptiness alone. Emptiness is fasting of the mind. When Wei Yun heard this, he said, Before I heard this, I was certain that I was Hui. But now that I have heard it, there is no more Hui. Can this be called emptiness? Confucius said, That'll do, pig. Have any questions? Yes?

[24:17]

Do you have a story up there? Do you want to tell it? Can you hear her? What are you doing when? And it told me the story that they had these cases that they never really had very essentially plastic. They were broken somehow. But once they had one which didn't work out. And what they did was the whole community went fasting. For 10 days or so. They just stopped everything. And 10 days later, they made it home.

[25:21]

She had something strange. well I'm strongly encouraging us to fast you know fast on let the mind fast in other words take a fast on getting into it is and it isn't Or it's this, or it's not this. Fast on that. At least from March. Oh, yeah. When's Lent start? When's Ash Wednesday? It's gone? Sorry, you missed it. But during Lent, huh? We're in it. So in Lent, a good time, very good time to, like, give something up, right? You know what you traditionally do in Lent? Give something up. How about give up your mind?

[26:21]

How about it? What is how to go? How does it go? Step right up. Sit right down. Baby, let your mind roll on. Do you want to learn about a new way of walking? Do you want to lose your mind? Step right, walk right in. Sit right down. Baby, let your mind roll on during Lent. For the rest of Mark, just let your mind roll on. Just let it go. Just fast on all the activities of your grasping, seeking mind. How about that? Want to do that for Lent? When's April? When's Good Friday? Huh? 13th of... We can move it up. We'll have Good Friday on the last day of Sashim. Okay? Okay? I was talking to this guy one time and he said, in my church, everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

[27:35]

So we got to like die. We got to like die. Let the mind die. Give it up. Renounce that old mind. Then we can go to heaven. And what's heaven? Heaven's Zazen, right? Heaven's where Zazen's happening. It's not the end of the story. It's like when we really get into turning the Dharma wheel unsurpassably. Join the Dharma wheel turning. We have to die first to get in there. We've got to give up turning the self. to let the self be turned. Once we let the self be turned, then the self can turn the dharma wheel. But first the dharma wheel has to turn the self, so you have to die of the self turning the dharma. So first die, then later you can turn the dharma wheel.

[28:41]

Die fast. Renunciation. That's the ways we enter which is between the middle way. That's how we enter the middle way. Give up these extremes, which our mind is always involved in. I feel like Marie Chevalier.

[29:46]

How does it go? Every little breeze seems to whisper Louise. Did he sing that? Huh? Are any of you people tense? Anybody here tense? Huh? You're tense? Come on, Brian. Come on up here, Brian. Let's come on, boy. Come on. Come on, Brian. Let go of that tension. We can help you. Let's help Brian. Come on, help him. He's got some tension there. Get that. Help that man. So anybody else that's tense besides Brian?

[31:03]

Well, thank you. Brian, you have a sister here. Is there anything else you'd like to discuss this morning? Brian? Oh, oh, oh, oh. That's not it. So just like you were doing like, how are you feeling? I'm feeling more tense, less tense. So this isn't how not to be tense. This is not how to be not tense. This is not tense. So when you're tense and you say, I'm tense, that is not how to be not tense.

[32:32]

That is not tense. Just being who you are is not tense. Trying to be different from what you are is tense. So if you are seeking something, then the relaxed thing to do at that time is to be seeking something. Buddha's not coming in there and telling you not to be who you are. Buddha's telling you to be who you are. That's not seeking anything. How you are sometimes is not wanting to be the way you are. In other words, seeking, not seeking. Rejecting is the same as seeking. So, and saying thank you is basically, I mean really just saying thank you and stopping right there before thank you and give me some more, say thank you about being a person who wishes to be somebody else.

[33:38]

Thank you very much as a matter of fact. I'm completely okay with that. And also, I just want to remind you that each person is being supported by all Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Arhats, and sentient beings. Every person is being supported like that. All the time. This is another aspect of this thing. They're supporting, we're being supported to be this person. And we are supporting all Buddhas, bodhisattvas, arhats, and sentient beings. We are supporting them.

[34:44]

That's, you know, the actual relationship. But we can't see this. We can't see this, because the way they're doing this is beyond our conception. We're in the midst of being an organism that is conceiving. We understand that we're not doing this alone, and all we have to do, all we have to realize is we're non-seeking. But we're already, like, totally equipped and supported to do our work. It's just that we're, like, saying, you know, where's my work? I realize that when I say, where's my work? That was my function. That was my activity. And it wasn't my activity. It was the activity in which all the leaders are supporting me. to that, or all the Buddhas are .

[35:56]

Is the inaccurate the same as faith, you said? The inaccurate is, of course, the Buddha is saying faith, but faith doesn't account for the entire . If faith is not, there can be faith. If enactment is like the blossoming of faith, faith is based on the enactment. We don't come up with our faith out of nowhere. Well, in this particular case, the faith is that there's nothing left to do.

[37:10]

You don't do anything by yourself. That's the faith. My, I'm busy. Actually, all of our activities is not isolated. We don't have an independent power. We have great power, but it isn't ours. We have great samadhi. We have a lot of great samadhi. You may have got it in some of the samadhi departments, but they are samadhi. I don't, not mine. I'm totally included in the ocean of samadhi. It's supporting me all the time. And my faith is not mine. And my faith is supporting me. And I get to watch, I get to witness, though. I get to witness, though, its activity in the world of conception. You see in the world of conception how it's functioning.

[38:15]

But the way it functions is inconceivable. In other words, the way it functions is inconceivable. From this realm, you can't see how it functions. That's part of my . That's also part of my understanding. Yes? Yes. Yes. First, . Are you sorry for making the distinction? You're forgiven. Do you acknowledge you've made the distinction, then you give him up? Okay, thank you. Do you know what you want to say? Yeah. What? How would you count? How would you do it? Yeah. Right.

[39:19]

So, you know, it's like a narrative. Well, no, it's true. It's true. It's not just in our infirmary. So, but you know, it is true. I know that. Can you believe it? No one argues, I don't think, I shouldn't say no, the Buddhist teaching, I don't think, argues with me that there are apparent differences. Well, one account is, you know, in the scientific story of how the nervous system works.

[40:21]

And I don't see, you know, I may see later, but it seems like the scientific account, you know, neurological, biological, western biological account, but how... our body creates images and appearances which are totally just appearances and nothing more than appearances. For example, in our own brain, we have an appearance in our brain of something outside of our brain. So our brain creates appearances, and it works pretty well, so that's for a different time. We can go into it in very detail, but basically, it's a neurological illusion. most of what we're apparently aware of, most of the appearances are illusions created by our body, which creates our illusionary consciousness. That's one story. But it seems to me that the that freedom and compassion and pure compassion arises from understanding this process and understanding what it means to, like, let it be and relax with it, which even opens up a deeper... which opens up a mind which is better able to study and understand the whole process.

[41:41]

And finally, a mind which could understand how it is so and be able to see with even more confidence how helpful we are to each other, how we're actually supporting each other in spiritual growth. We're not necessarily supporting each other in material growth. In material growth, we compete with each other. And we have equipment based on that competition perspective to facilitate our own success in competitive activities. But that whole process is being supported, too, inconceivably. OK. Oh, great. Yes, Reverend Owell. Spiritual growth means spiritual, what do you call it, spiritual widening, more thorough spiritual unfoldment.

[43:04]

So like, huh? By spiritual, I mean energy. You know, like life. That life is flowing in harmonious, beneficent, kind and loving ways. Ways that people who previously were like feeling that the other person was being cruel to them now feel great love for that person and actually understand how that person actually is their best friend. And how they're totally... happy to be devoted to this person who previously they thought was their worst enemy and somebody who's been really cruel to them. In other words, they couldn't see how the energetic relationship was like harmonious and the most wonderful dance that they've ever participated in. And now, because of spiritual widening, they see that this sleazeball, uptight, monstrously cruel person is actually a Buddha, basically.

[44:11]

Or maybe they can even see if the spiritual thing has gone to a certain point, like up to being a Buddha. They say, well, this person isn't a Buddha, but they're going to be at such and such a time. Or maybe they won't even see that, but they'll see, that's not a Buddha, but it's a fantastically great, wonderful, sentient being who's giving me great life. So this is what I call spiritual growth, to be able to see that and to be able to meet enemies in a great dance, which would eventually even, the enemies would actually, the cruel people, the people who wanted to hurt us, would actually finally understand that we are also their dearest and most wonderful friend. Even more wonderful than themselves they would see eventually. This is what I would call spiritual growth. Growth in the free circulation of energy, or free circulation of life, or free circulation of love, or free circulation of enlightenment.

[45:19]

Because enlightenment is not private. It's not public. It's social. It's the way we're working. It's not out there. It's not in here. It's our actual relationship. We're supporting each other to do that, but we're also supporting each other to suffer. in our current suffering, we're being supported by it. Everybody's helping us suffer right now. And you might say, well, thanks a lot. But in fact, Buddha is supporting us in our present suffering. When I realize that, the more I realize that, the less I suffer. But the less I suffer in that way, the more I open to other people's suffering. But the more I open to other people's suffering, the closer I am to being grateful to them for all that they give to me in their suffering state. All the pain they're giving me.

[46:20]

Because, because, because, because, what do you mean? Because I'm a wizard. Because a wizard was. Yeah. I'm good, though. Yeah, I'm grateful. I'm grateful. But not because. Getting a because in there, I think, is a dead end.

[47:34]

Okay, fine. It's like, yeah, great. Fine. She's not going to try to get that. Well, that's the story I read you. This basic, I mean, that's what that disciple of Confucius was saying. He said, there's a Hitler over there. There's a Stalin over there. There's a person who's sending his people to slaughter. So then he said, so Confucius said, you're going to go see him? What are you going to do? So he said, I'm going to do this. He said, well, how will that help? I'm going to do that. How will that help? Basically, what he wants to do is go and convert this person to a more spiritually beneficial and harmonious way of being with his people that he's the leader of.

[48:40]

So he wants to go and convert them. So that's your question. How are we going to convert these people? So the question is, how do you convert someone who's being cruel? Huh? Then I try to meet you with my mind fasting. You know? Come here. Come here. Yeah. Come here. Come here. So I was talking to Brian yesterday. Remember? Oh, someday I was talking to you. Maybe it wasn't you. Who was I talking to yesterday? Anyway, you come, you come. So, you know, so... You're the monster, yeah. So what do I have to do? You're the... I'm the not-monster. You're the monster. So what do I do? I have to die. I have to die.

[49:42]

Forget about the monster. We think the monster has to die, but I have to die in order to convert the monster. So I die, and when I die, then I'm out of the picture and no problem with the monster. Then I die. I mean, I let go of my mind, which is trying to figure out what to do about the monster, which is trying to figure out, no, what's a good response to a monster? How am I going to convert this monster? I die of that. I let go of that. I stop seeking a solution to this meeting. But basically, I am sitting here trying to figure out, I'm seeking a solution to this meeting. I'm rejecting this person. I'm not saying, welcome, monster. So the person who doesn't say welcome, that person has to die. And then what we get is a baby. We get an infant. And what do you think an infant would do if they saw Hitler? Do you think they'd go, oh, monster Hitler?

[50:46]

They probably wouldn't. They'd probably go... Because the baby doesn't know that it's a monster. They don't have it in their heads, the monster. The baby, the baby in the form of an adult converts the monster. I'm not already. Sorry? I'm not hitting it. No, you're not hitting it. Can I go to my... in order to be buddha we have to be an infant we have to die of our sophistication we have to give up all the things we know we have to stop and then be fresh be freshly born born again, and meet the situation that comes to us. And like a child, say, welcome grandpa, welcome grandma, even if our grandpa is an incredibly crazy, cruel, destructive person.

[51:59]

Because cruel, destructive people, as far as I know, are people who are, that's their response to feeling attacked. I mean, Hitler didn't think, oh, those people, those, you know, non-Germans, they're like, you know, totally helping me. You know, they're really like my pals, and I'm going to, I feel really relaxed with them. No, he was like, get this impurity away from me. You know, I'm getting poisoned. Get it away from me. Get it away. Get it away. We've got to make some clean place where I'll be safe. So you attack a person like that, and they're very skillful. He was super skillful at, you know, at avoiding attack. And they just entrench their position when you attack them. But when you come at them with love, love can disarm the worst person if it's strong enough and skillful enough. And love can be strong, but if there's any attachment, it won't be so skillful. So we need both flexibility.

[53:03]

We need total appreciation, respect. The person needs to be dear. And there has to be no attachment or seeking. In other words, we have to move from me converting them to watching how all things are coming forward. And in that vision, in that world, is where they're converted. Not me converting them. But the baby doesn't think, oh, I'm going to convert my grandpa. He just claps his hands and just radiates this amazement at this person who happens to be a murderer. And that doesn't necessarily work every time. The Buddha couldn't convert everybody on the spot, but the Buddha was able to convert some mass murderers on the spot by throwing them. In some cases he could do it. But even the Buddha, what is it like, his attendant's brother, his attendant's brother, Devadatta, tried to kill the Buddha.

[54:09]

The Buddha never did get Devadatta converted. He never could. Even Shakyamuni didn't have the skill to snap Devadatta out of his murderous ways. So even the Buddha, Shakyamuni, the historical Buddha, had limits. So, of course, we do too. But the idea, anyway, to aspire to a state of love for beings... And wisdom so that we understand that I love this person, but I'm not the person for the job of converting this person. The person who is nothing other than being supported by all Buddhas, the activity of that person will save this person. Not me operating on my own. Yeah. So I say thank you. yeah yeah no alternative you give up alternatives yeah it's not so much thank you for the suffering or thank you for the way I am it's that whatever way I am and for whatever suffering I say thank you it's not exactly for that

[55:37]

It's a way to relax with it. It's a way to not get distracted from the suffering. It doesn't help the suffering to look someplace else. Right. I mean, generally speaking, it does not help suffering to look someplace else. And so thank you is a way of like just facing it. It's like, it's like helps, if I say, if I look at you and I say thank you, it helps me Look at you. It's not really thank you for you. It's like thank you as a way of being with you. So that if you stop being cruel to me, I wouldn't have to switch to no thank you because I was saying thank you for your cruelty, then how can I say thank you for your kindness? No, it's not for the thing. It's an instruction. The word thank you somehow is a message to the body. We do know this thing called thank you.

[56:42]

It's something about us that goes with relaxation. It's kind of like, and it goes with, like, thank you goes with not trying to get more. There's one, there's a thank you, like, thank you, give me more. But that's not the same kind of thank you. It's thank you and, I mean, like, thank you, I mean, like, I mean, I really am grateful for this, and I'm not asking for any more. I mean, I'm very, the fact that you're back with me now is enough. I mean, I'm not asking for you plus another one of you. I'm really like totally grateful that for you or that you know that we know that feeling and use that feeling as a way of not seeking that feeling of gratitude is a key to our ability to not seek but it's not thank you for something because then you'll get pushed around by the by the somethings it's a way to deal with everything it's there's one practice That's the practice Brother David Stendhal-Ross is totally concentrating on.

[57:44]

Gratefulness. And the way I'm putting it, you know, Zen style, no seeking, no grasping. One practice. Not two. There aren't two practices. And his practice is not another practice. It's just other language for the one practice. There is only one practice. There's only one samadhi. And it has infinite faces. And so... And each face needs to be given its due emphasis. So he's emphasizing gratefulness all over the planet. And I'm emphasizing no seeking, no gaining, no grasping. It's the same samadhi. It's a different door to the same samadhi. Which is the same as thank you very much. I have no complaint whatsoever. I'm not asking for any more than what I've already gotten. I just feel totally here.

[58:45]

That's my faith. My faith is to be totally here. The kitchen left and... They left, yeah. And... So there's more hands, but I just want to point out that I think it was nice yesterday for people that after the, what do you call it, the, what do they call it, a pep rally before a game? Pep rally, is that what they call them? What's another name for them? Is there another name for them besides pep rally? Cheerleading? Anyway. It'd be nice to go and celebrate Zazen, but maybe we could have a little bit more from Lanza Rudy. You were saying earlier that faith doesn't come out of nowhere.

[60:01]

Right. Like other things, faith doesn't come out of nowhere. Right. Cool. Well, the conceivable thing is what I said. This is conceivable. All Buddhas and bodhisattvas are supporting me right now. All the Buddhas are practicing together with each person. That expression is a conceivable expression. We just say it. But how it actually is so, we can't see. I mean, you can imagine it, but you can't actually see it. So you can conceive of it in many ways, but the way it actually is is not being conceived by anybody. So we can have all these, we can have conceptions that there's little Buddhas and Bodhisattvas under your armpits, in your nervous system causing paralysis in your shoulder and stuff like that.

[61:04]

You can imagine that. But that's not how it actually is working. According to the Buddhist teaching, when people have told, expressed various conceivable stories about how it works, okay, the Buddhist said, no, that's not how it works. and only I can see how it works. And it works because the way it works inconceivably is by the nature of things, which is this infinite interdependence. But any kind of story you make about this is just a story of it, it's not the actual working. The actual working is the way the story appeared and the way the story changes. So if you have a story about how you are supported by the Buddhas and bodhisattvas, and how everybody here is supported by Buddhas and bodhisattvas, that story, in letting go of that story, is the revelation of how it actually happens. But what I'm saying is that the teaching, the words, the skillful means that all the Buddhas are practicing together with each person, that teaching doesn't come from nowhere.

[62:15]

It comes from the universe in which all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas are doing that, I say. But I just said that. You want your faith to be based on experience. Yeah. Well, I think faith is not based on experience. I wouldn't call it faith if it's based on experience. Yeah, it's just like, it's actually my subject. It's not based on a feeling. A subjective experience is not the basis for faith. Faith is based not on objective experience and not on objective experience. I guess objective experience is what some people call science. And subjective experience, what, art? Yeah. Yeah. But the Buddha way is not based on subjective experience or objective activity, objective proof.

[63:19]

It includes both of them and is in between them. It must deal with both of them and it must be verified by both of them. So if Buddhism should be verified, one of the ways of verifying it is Do I feel enthusiastic? Do I feel loving? Do I feel flexible? Do I feel at peace? Do I feel, you know, am I devoted to all beings? These are subjective experiences, which aren't the things themselves, but they're kind of like part of the proof of it. And also, objectively, do I behave in ways that other people can see and be encouraged by? So again, in our practice, of going, for example, to the zendo and sitting there. When we sit as celebration, there's a great dignity in our sitting because the person who's sitting that way is like, you see them sitting there, but you see they're not like all crunched in some way trying to get something.

[64:26]

You see they're actually like, you feel that they're just celebrating something wonderful in this very dignified way. And sometimes I look at you people and I see it. I see you standing there in the zendo, celebrating. For example, it's chanting the Daishin Dharani. You're standing there, chanting the Daishin Dharani. And to some extent, you're just standing there, chanting the Daishin Dharani. What is that? It's a way to remember compassion. You're celebrating infinite compassion in this dignified way. You don't actually look, generally speaking, when you're chanting the Daishin Dharani, you don't look like, come on, give me that compassion. Sometimes you don't look like, well, I don't see any compassion around here. I'm not kidding. These people certainly aren't. No, you're standing there like you actually could be just... And some of you aren't even thinking about great compassion. You're just chanting the Daishindrani. But in fact, what you're doing, whether you know it or not, is you're celebrating the Daishindrani by standing there that way.

[65:34]

by not trying to get anything, because that's what great compassion is. It's like not trying to get anything in your relationships. So all that's conceivable, but how it comes to be that some of us can come to monasteries and stand there and chant the Dai Shindirani, what's supporting us so that that can happen? In the conceivable realm, we're getting a message saying, well, this is all happening by the power and function of great compassion and great wisdom. That's how this is all happening. And you don't see that now, but some part of you maybe says, well, I kind of like that. Maybe there's some reason why I want to be held by all beings. Maybe the feeling of like everybody's supporting me feels good because maybe it has something to do with reality. Maybe what I want most deeply has something to do with reality. Even though I can't see that it's so, maybe it is so.

[66:39]

So I actually want to be buoyed up and supported by all the beneficent and wise beings in the universe. I actually want that. I actually like that. I actually kind of feel that sometimes. And when I feel that way, I feel like Yeah, I feel like, and I feel relaxed. I feel unseeking. I feel ungrasping. I could get into seeking more and grasping more, but when it really comes on strong, I feel not seeking, not grasping. And I kind of want to like pass it on too. So it kind of works like that. But how it is that that's all working, I usually do not understand. But sometimes I sort of do. And the way I understand is to feel that it's so, but not by subjective experience, because it's not like when it's hot I feel that way, or when it's cold I feel that way, or when the temperature's just right. Sometimes when the temperature's not quite right I feel that way, and sometimes when the temperature's just right I don't feel that way.

[67:44]

Sometimes I, you know, it's not dependent on the circumstances. It's not depending on a subjective experience. So it's a faith. And it's not dependent on an objective experience. So it's a faith. So like, I've told two times, you know, two kinds of, I had these two experiences. One time I was offering incense in the Kaisando at the city center. and my hand was moving through the air with the incense in my hand to go towards the incense stick. And as my hand was moving towards the incense bowl, I understood, I had some understanding of not moving. I mean, I understood not moving, but it wasn't because I had a subjective experience of not moving or an objective activity of not moving. If anybody was watching me, they wouldn't objectively see, well, he wasn't moving. And subjectively, I didn't feel like I wasn't moving. It wasn't a subjective experience. Because in fact, subjectively, I thought I was moving.

[68:47]

Do you understand? Subjectively, I thought I was moving. Objectively, I suppose you people would have thought I was moving. But I understood my faith. I understood my faith of not moving. In other words, not moving is happening all the time. Not subjectively. Not objectively. Sometimes subjectively. So when I'm sitting still, subjectively, I feel like I'm not moving. That's not my fate. That's my subjective experience of not moving. Or when you look at me, you say, boy, you're not moving. Look at him. He's doing this thing called not moving. That stuff's fine. That's the way we celebrate the actual not moving. That's not subjective or objective. The actuality of the middle way is not moving. And sometimes when you're moving and your subjective experience is that you're moving, that's when you most easily realize not moving because it's not based on that.

[69:49]

And you can tell people. You can spread the word. Ladies and gentlemen, you're watching this objective information about me being a jerk? Well, actually, I'm not. I can see it. You know, it's great. It's wonderful. And you're that way too, regardless of what you think about yourself or what we think of you. You're actually not a jerk. This uptight person that you think you are and that we think you are, we agree with you. This person is just a subjective and objective play, you know. Actually what you are is not moving. You're like a mountain. And you're a beautiful mountain. And all the Buddhas are very happy with you. And there's more work to be done. And please go celebrate what you are. But remember, you're not that way all by yourself. It's only because all the Buddhas and bodhisattvas and all of us are helping you. You wouldn't be so great if it wasn't for us.

[70:53]

But we have been very successful with you. You're just terrific in all your challenging uniqueness. Thank you so much. I have no complaints whatsoever. And I'll try not to eat you with my big teeth. Is there brown rice for lunch? I'll be there. Maybe.

[71:30]

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