Very simple color of truth practice of the true mind state of the true body of things. I've heard that there are many kinds of Zen. Many kinds of Zazen, which is sitting Zen. Have you heard about that?

[01:03]

No? One guy has. At latest count, there were 32.6 trillion types of Zen. That's a lot, don't you think? And it's an expanding universe of Zen. I got Zen. You got Zen. Everybody's got to have Zen. But there's only one Zen as per me. Good old Soto Zen. I'm just kidding. I don't want to be sectarian about this. When I say Soto Zen, I just say that because it goes better than to say Buddha Ancestor Zen. You know what I mean? It's only one kind of Zen for me, good old Buddha Ancestor Zen. The Soto Zen works better. Rinzai would work too.

[02:05]

Good old Rinzai Zen. What I mean is Buddha Ancestor Zen. But I don't want to even make Buddha Ancestors into some kind of like a sect. Now, do I really like Buddha Ancestor Zen better than all those other kinds of Zen? So far, yes. So what's Buddha Ancestor Zen? Well, according to this person we call Eihei Dogen, the key point of Buddha Ancestor Zen is that It's the samadhi of the self. It's being absorbed into the self as it receives its employment.

[03:13]

It's being aware of the self as it receives its job or its function. Now, there's another kind of self that's already got its job and then does its job. This is my job, let me do it. This is my job, that's your job. I do my job, you do your job. Now, the Buddha Ancestors Samadhi and the Buddha Ancestors Zen, there's an awareness of this self that's already got its job, that's already received its employment, And now it's time for this self to practice and confirm whatever happens. There's an awareness of that. But the thing there must be aware of, that awareness can go away, by the way.

[04:22]

This awareness of the self that's already got the job, that can go away for a while. That's dispensable. But we must remember that the self that doesn't yet have its job, that doesn't yet have its function, that is now receiving its function. And again and again, to be upright in the midst of all that's happening, all that's coming forth, Be upright in the midst of whatever's coming forth. To be upright in the midst of whatever's coming forth that is practicing the self.

[05:23]

to witness and act from or witness and act upon the self which is born in the coming of all things. To witness that and then act from that. That's enlightenment. And in that expression there is there is two kinds of knowing. There is a knowing that and a knowing to. There is a knowing that the self is born in the coming of all things, to see that the self, to know that the self, to know that the self is a relational self.

[06:34]

And to know to act carefully with all the things that give birth to the self. To know That the Self is born this way and to know what to do. Enlightenment is not just knowing the way things are, it's also knowing what to do, how to do. So I told you several times, and the number is growing, It's going to grow by one now. That for me, I was attracted to Zen. I didn't hear about, I didn't read a book or hear a story about somebody entering into some kind of meditation state and seeing, witnessing, knowing that the self was empty of inherent existence.

[07:52]

I didn't hear about that story. I didn't hear about somebody entering into samadhi and realizing no self or dependent co-arising. What I heard about was that somebody could respond when something happened, that somebody could respond, could respond appropriately. That's what attracted me, that it's possible when something happens to you, when something comes, When something comes that you can respond. Now I find out that being able to respond, being able to know to do such and such, is connected to knowing that such and such is so. to be able to respond to people, to know what to do, has to do with knowing that the person you're meeting is not an other out there around a real self.

[09:12]

In order to respond to an other in the appropriate caring way, which is what attracted me to Zen, I learned, I have learned, that it helps, almost necessary, to also know that the other, all the others, are not around a central self. Even though it looks that way, If that's the way it looks, then I'm not going to be able to respond appropriately. What I need to know is that there's a middle position, that where it's really at is not over there and not back here. It's in the middle position between self and other. It's in the middle. It's in the interpersonal arena.

[10:26]

I have to give up the focus here and see that this self dependently co-arises with all the others. When I know that, then I know two. I know what to do. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. You ever heard about her? It was a large shoe. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she knew what to do. If the samadhi, if the absorption in the self, receiving its function, is available on behalf of the Buddha ancestors you're invited in.

[11:49]

If it is not available, then I would say that the just sitting of the Buddha ancestors, or in just sitting the Buddha ancestors study the delusion that there's a central self surrounded by others. They study that delusion until they wake up to the middle position between self and other. to the interdependent position. If ignorance is still appearing, then study the ignorance, study the dependent co-arising of ignorance and the suffering.

[12:51]

And this study will be the dependent core arising of wisdom. at the beginning of Nagarjuna's fundamental verses on the Middle Way, he says, I prostrate myself to the perfect Buddha, the best of all speakers, the best of all teachers, who preached

[14:16]

dependent co-arising. And then right after that Nagarjuna says, neither from itself nor from another nor from both, nor without a cause, does anything whatsoever, anywhere, arise. Wherever we are all day long, whether we're standing or walking or sitting or lying down, there's nothing, there's not a self, which arises from itself.

[15:23]

And there's not a self which arises from another. And there's not a self which arises from itself and from another. And there's not a self which arises from a non-cause. There's no self like that. There's nothing like that. All day long that's the way it is. To observe that, to study that, is what we call just sitting. And if you don't see that, if you think your self does arise from itself, or does arise from other, or does arise both from self and other, then Please observe that delusion that you think differently than Nagarjuna and Buddha.

[16:24]

How do you see it? Sitting here right now, moment by moment, do you think this self comes from itself? Do you think this self comes from another? Both, neither, or from no cause? How does this self come? What do you see? What are you witnessing? Are you witnessing anti-Dharma? Are you witnessing different from what the Buddha and Nargajuna teach and Dogen teaches? If so, please be honest and study that delusion. How do you study that delusion? Just face it. Don't try to get rid of it. Don't try to hold on to it. It's got its own habit strength. Don't worry. It'll stay until it's seen through. Until you know that it's a delusion. The self doesn't come from itself nor from another, but it depends on itself and depends on another.

[17:44]

Where does the self come from if it doesn't come from itself or from another? It comes from depending on ignorance. Where does the self which doesn't have a core come from? At the beginning of the first sermon of the Buddha, I heard that he said something like, for one who has gone forth from the household life, there are two extremes which must be avoided.

[19:33]

For one who has gone forth from the household life, there is a kind of implication there that going forth from the household life means for one who is interested or dedicated to what? Spiritual life? Realizing liberation from suffering? benefiting all beings. There was a general feeling at that time that Buddha lived that spiritual attainment was concomitant with going forth from entangling social relationships.

[20:41]

In the story that we talked about of the negative ascetic Kasapa coming to the Buddha and asking questions, and at first modestly respectful to the Buddha, asking questions, and every question he asked, the Buddha said, misput, don't talk like that, misput, don't talk like that. And finally, he kind of broke down and said, blessed one, please teach me the nature of suffering. And then the Buddha taught him, and he understood. Somewhat. He understood what it was like to hear the teaching in an open state. And the interaction with the Buddha seemed to have opened him up to be able to see who it was he was talking to and hear the Dharma.

[21:49]

To see who he was talking to and want to hear the Dharma and then to be given the Dharma and to hear it and to be joyful at hearing it. But then in that story he went off by himself in the forest, in solitude. And there he understood thoroughly. While I was telling that story, Luminous Owl raised his hand. Do you remember? Maybe you don't know he raised his hand, but he did. Then at the end of the story, I called on Luminous Owl. But before I called on him, I told another story, which occurred to me, and that was the story of Fa Yan, the Zen master and director Tzu, who thought he understood. And Fa Yan said, I doubt it.

[22:53]

Tell me about what you understand. And then he told him, and Fa Yan said, oh, yeah, you don't. That's what I thought. Sure enough, you don't know what you're talking about. And the director got angry and stormed out. But after he walked for a while, he thought better of it, that maybe Fa Yan had a point. And he came back and said, please teach me. And Fa Yan taught him. But in that story, He didn't then say, thank you very much, I'm so happy to have this teaching and go off in the forest and understand. He understood in that interaction. The first story, he was somewhat awakened by interacting with the Buddha, but then he went off in the forest and finished his awakening.

[23:55]

In this story, he was greatly awakened right in the interaction with the Zen teacher. And I thought it was interesting. Then I called on Luminous Owl and he brought up that story. He said, that's like that story which I just told. And I said, that's great that, you know, we're simpatico. But when he raised his hand first, that's when he thought of the story. And then later I talked to him about how those two stories, again, how they were similar. And then I said... But then after the student broke down, the Buddha actually did give a teaching, you know, a nice teaching of dependent core rising. But in the case of Fa Yen, Luminous Owl pointed out that what he said wasn't that interesting.

[24:58]

It could have been anything. Dharma's coming forth. Not just special, you know, teachings of the Buddha coming forth, but any dharmas coming forth to create the self, the witnessing of that is enlightenment. It's not that the wonderful teachings of the Buddha coming forth creating the self, then there's enlightenment. Anything, everything coming forth at a moment and creating the self to witness that and to act from that. So there seems to be the difference in these two stories.

[26:04]

One is you meet the Buddha and then go off in the forest. The other is you meet the Buddha and then you met the Buddha. That's the end of the story. There's no going off into the forest afterwards. And I just wanted to mention that In Soto Zen, the ceremony of becoming a priest or entering into priest training is called Shukkei Tokudo. And then the other ceremony for receiving the precepts And practicing as a bodhisattva in family life or not in priest training is called zaike tokado. Shuke tokado means leaving home and attaining the way. Zaike tokado means abiding at home and attaining the way. Now, one way to understand this is, one way is you stay home and try to practice the bodhisattva precepts.

[27:18]

Or I should say, you stay home, practice the bodhisattva precepts and attain the way. The other is you leave home, practice the bodhisattva precepts and attain the way. Or that you attain the way by staying home. Or that you attain the way by leaving home. Either way, all those are okay with me. How about you? So what I want to point out is that for me now, what makes, you know, what I'm living with is that leaving home and attaining the way, or attaining the way by leaving home, what that means is not that you go away from social life into the forest by yourself, but that you enter into a relationship with a weirdo. It's not that you remove yourself from interactions, it's that you enter, you enter a new kind of social situation in addition to the ones you've known before.

[28:32]

You actually, you don't, you give up all your relationships. You give up all your relationship. You give up your relationships. That's leaving home and attaining the way, or attaining the way by leaving me and mine, you and your. And you don't just say, well, you don't just do that in your head, you do it in an actual relationship, which you could think of as me and my relationship. So I see leaving home and attaining the way not as going away from the interactive middle position between yourself and other, but entering that middle position where you're more vulnerable than before. If you were vulnerable before to your mom, to your uncle, to your spouse, to your sister, if you were vulnerable before,

[29:43]

Fine. That's what it's like to be in the middle position. But in addition, in the spirit of that vulnerability, you even more give up me and mine and enter into a relationship with a teacher. A relationship which is primarily based on leaving me and mine, which is primarily based on the middle position, the dependently co-arisen person. It does not mean going off in the forest by yourself. and taking me and mine along in your heart.

[30:48]

And I'm sitting in my hut, doing my meditation with my cushion. And it's not just entering into a relationship with a teacher, it's entering who you may or may not think is cool, but it's entering into a relationship with these other people who happen to be interested in the same thing that you're interested in. but they are not the people who you probably would have chosen to be your friends.

[31:52]

The people who you would have chosen to be your friends do not happen to be interested in Buddhism. But you can't get them to practice with you. You wind up with these other people who are not your friends. They are not mine. So, You enter into this. You still have your friends who you like who don't want to practice with you. You still have your friends who, you know, to you, to them, you are their friend. You still have your friends who think they own you. And that's swell. Unless you go visit them. You still have your parents who think they own you, who you think you own, your parents, my child. Now on top of that, you enter in this additional situation of relating to people who are not yours.

[33:00]

Try to make them yours. Like, these are my Sangha mates. These are my Zen comrades. These are my friends. But You know, usually it doesn't work very well. Now, if you have a friend and they stop being your friend, then you can get rid of them. If you have a spouse and they stop being your spouse, you can divorce them. But when you leave home, you cannot get away from the Sangha when they stop being your Sangha. So this is called leaving home and entering into the vulnerability of the middle zone, the middle pit, the middle space between self and other. The place that doesn't belong to them and doesn't belong to you.

[34:08]

The place of dependent core rising. The place of the end of suffering. The place of suffering and the end of suffering. The place of increased vulnerability to suffering and the possibility of ending it. Rather than home. Home is me and mine and there you can reduce the suffering but never end it. You can reduce it by get those things out of my house now. It's my house. It's my house. It says right here, my house. Get the stuff out of my house. Now the stuff is out of my house and I am suffering less.

[35:15]

But this never ends the suffering. So I also, I told you before this story, but not all of you have heard it. Ronnie never heard it, I bet. So you want to hear it, don't you? Yeah. So one time I was riding on my motor scooter, my little Italian motor scooter. It was a Vespa. It worked, actually. I got it for $90. After my beautiful new Honda was stolen from me the day after I bought it. I bought this Honda. It was called a Honda. It's a road bike. It's called a Honda. Anyway, it was a road bike. I bought it. And the next day it got stolen before I had a chance to get insurance on it. So then for some number of years, I would go to the bank and make payments on this motorcycle that I didn't have.

[36:25]

In the meantime, after that, I bought a Vespa. And I never did insure that. But anyway, I was riding my Vespa to my apartment, my apartment, my nice apartment. It was a nice apartment. It cost $75 a month. And it was huge and beautiful, but it was in a slum. That's why it was so cheap. Anyway, very nice, big, huge apartment. And I was driving to my apartment through my slum area, and I turned a corner near my store, I mean, near my apartment, and in the corner was a bar. And outside the bar was customers of the bar. And these were Native American customers. And they were drunk. They looked drunk. They were kind of falling all over each other and vomiting on each other. And as I drove by, I thought, I do not want them to come into my house and vomit on my carpet.

[37:32]

And you know, they never did. But, you know, right after I turned the corner and had that thought, I felt really bad that I didn't want these drunk vomiteers in my house, that I wanted to protect my carpet from their bodies. I didn't like that. I didn't like to have to carry around. Not in my house. I was really ashamed that I I have to spend my time thinking about that. I wasn't in the middle zone. I was over on my side with my vestibule and my apartment, and they were over there, and I didn't want them to mess up my little world, and I had my rights. This kind of attitude is not what attracted me.

[38:39]

This actually, in a negative way, attracted me to Buddhism. That I was this way and there was a possibility to be another way. Possibility of not being afraid of somebody else. Not being afraid of somebody else. Of living in the middle between... other and the self in the dynamic place where we're born between us. And in that apartment my dog lived with me. I have three dogs that I took care of. Lara, who I named after the lady in Dr. Zhivago, Eric, my 95-pound Doberman, and Rozzy.

[39:41]

These are the three dogs I took care of. And so Lara lived in that apartment with me, and she was a little bit like Rozzy, a little bit bigger, a cross between a terrier like Rozzy and a golden retriever. So she looked like Rozzy, but a little bit bigger and kind of golden-colored. And anyway, I won't torture the people who've already heard this story over and over. Anyway, she got pregnant. I won't tell you about how that happened. It's a very interesting story, but I won't tell you. But anyway, she got pregnant. And then she got more and more pregnant. And then she had her own little bed in the kitchen. But she liked to sleep on my bed.

[40:42]

But usually I made her sleep in her bed. Anyway, as she became closer to time of delivering her puppies, she started to ooze a lot of red stuff, I don't know, blood and other kinds of fluids kind of dripping out of her as she got closer. So when she walked around, she left a little trail of juicy fluids around. So I kept her mostly in the kitchen on the linoleum floor, off the carpet. And she was OK with that. So I came home. I came home, I went into my room, and she was up on the bed, sitting on top of the pillows, the white pillows, and the pillows were kind of like, they weren't completely covered, but sort of covered by red plasma.

[41:46]

So I said, get off the bed. And so she got off the bed and went, go get in your bed. So she got off the bed and went and got in her bed. Then I went over to clean up the mess and I picked up the pillows and there were seven puppies. So I said, Lara, here, can you come back and lie on the pillow? Not because I wanted her to get more blood on the pillows, but because she taught me about how to give up me and mine she showed me how to do it and for that I always remember her as my teacher to actually see it's possible to give it up and when you give it up and somebody sees that sometimes they wake up and not just a little bit

[42:54]

Sometimes a little bit, sometimes even more than a little bit. So, the Buddha invites us into that middle space where all things come forward. And in that coming forward of the dogs and the drunks and the blood, of the self and the other, not holding on to the other, not holding on to the self. In that coming together, moment by moment, being attentive to that, attentive to that, attentive to that, we enter into the samadhi of the Buddha ancestors, of giving up attachment to what's not really there anyway, of the central self. This is a week to work on this.

[44:11]

All these people we're practicing, we're practicing together, you know. We're practicing together. We're not talking so much, but we're practicing together. There's a self, there's an other, and there's a middle. Self keeps being born even during sesshin, moment by moment, together with all other beings. We're helping each other in this way. responding to each other in a caring way. When we serve each other, when we receive serving from each other, when we chant together, when we walk together, when we sit together, all the things we're doing together, our chance is to realize this, this samadhi of the middle way, the samadhi of dependent core rising. Congratulations to you in advance for this opportunity.

[45:20]

Have a wonderful week.

[45:25]

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