Yesterday, I think I was about to say something, but I don't know if I said it. Maybe you can help me. I think I was saying something like, I didn't come to talk to Zen, to the Buddhism, because I heard some story of somebody sitting in meditation and having some, some what? Some experience? Or like, I didn't come for that. Did you hear me say something like that yesterday? Did I say the next part? No, yeah. So what did I come for? It wasn't for that, although since I've come I've found out some wonderful things happened to people when they were sitting. But we won't get into those right now. What I came for is not what happened to somebody who was sitting in meditation, but what I And what inspired me to come was the way some people responded to other people.

[01:11]

I probably heard the story of sitting under a boat tree. becoming enlightened, but if I heard it, it was kind of like, you know, yeah, so that's Buddhism. But when I heard about the way some, particularly Zen monks, responded to situations, challenging situations, I thought, That way of responding, that's it. That's what I want. That's my life. That's what I want to live like, like the way they responded. So, I wanted to learn how to behave like that. Or, I wanted to learn how to respond like that. That's what attracted me.

[02:15]

that the fact that they knew to do such and such or they knew how to do such and such was what inspired me to approach the Zen teachings. Actually, I also told many of you another thing that attracted me to Zen was a picture of somebody sitting, but it wasn't happening to them while they were sitting that attracted me, but the way their body, the way the body was, the fact that somebody's body would be that way in relationship to a tatami mat, I thought, what a lovely way to be. What a lovely way to hold your body together with the photographer.

[03:24]

And then And then I heard that these people who responded to these challenges, you know the word challenge? It comes from French. How do you say challenge? How do you say challenge? How do you say challenge? Challenge. How do you say it? Challenge? Challenge? That's not French? It's not French? Is it English? Didn't French people used to slap themselves in the face with a glove? You didn't? Yeah. Yeah, a long time ago, right? Back in the time of the Three Musketeers, they used to have their gloves. They'd take their glove off and slap it in the face and say, Shalom. Shalom. So the Zen... Huh? Yeah, long time ago.

[04:46]

And long time ago in Japan, people used to go up to Zen monks and slap them in the face. Like they used to slap them in the face with... And they would respond in this way that I thought, oh, what a creative way to respond. Rather than slapping back... They did all these interesting things. So many of the Zen stories that many of us like are when a Zen monk is being insulted. So the root meaning of the root meaning of the word shalange is insult. When you're insulted can you respond creatively or do you tense up and get defensive? The possibility of But being relaxed, getting slapped, continuing to be relaxed and adjust and move with that insult in a creative and beneficial way, that's what attracted me.

[05:56]

A kind of dancing combat. I think that the word that usually, that used to be used for the shu-so ceremony, I think the word they use in Soto Zen, I think it's called so-sen-shiki, which means Dharma war or Dharma combat. But we changed that into Dharma inquiry, trying to be peaceful around which I think is a good idea, but what about the insults? How do we cope with the insults? So, Shakyamuni Buddha sitting under the bow tree, he got insulted.

[07:11]

He did. Got big-time insulted, and he responded, he didn't get angry, bonded in this enlightening way, and the insults subsided, and he became the Buddha. So, you know, a lot of people say, and then people say, you know, do you need a teacher in Zen? And we say, well, usually, you know, well, not in the first part of your practice, like you can go to the Zen Do and sit. after you have zazen instruction and they tell you a whole bunch of stuff to do, you can then go do that stuff for a few years. But later you might need a teacher. And somebody says, well, what about Shakyamuni Buddha? Shakyamuni Buddha didn't have a teacher. But in the Zen stories, you need a teacher. Did Shakyamuni Buddha have a teacher?

[08:14]

Maybe Mara was Shakyamuni Buddha's teacher. Maybe Mara, the army of... insulted him. Maybe they were his teachers. Of course, you can say past lives, Shakyamuni Buddha's study with Dipankara Buddha. And Dipankara Buddha predicted Shakyamuni would be Shakyamuni. You can say on past lives, give me a break. Okay, in his lifetime where he became Buddha, he did not have a Buddha teacher around that we saw. He just had all these other kinds of helpers. But unless you're going to be Shakyamuni Buddha, you need some deep Pankara Buddhas in your life to interact with you. So in Soto Zen, Dogen's teaching, coming from the Lotus Sutra, he says only a Buddha, only a Buddha together with a Buddha can exhaustively understand the teaching.

[09:28]

And that sounds nice, doesn't it? Do you have any problems with Buddha together with a Buddha? And then also, each of you all day long has Buddhas around you. They're practicing with you. All the Buddhas are practicing with you, supporting you all day long, holding you and supporting you, holding you and supporting you all day long. But still, you need... In traditional Zen practice, you need a teacher who also is helping you. And the way the teacher helps you is... the way you helped the teacher. So in Zen finally it comes down to the student and teacher meeting each other

[10:34]

with no privacy left. Both parties have to give up privacy, have to give up everything and anything that's interfering, that's separating the two people. Both people have to express themselves And in expressing yourself, in expressing and communicating yourself, you put yourself at risk. And the teacher's also at risk. Both parties in this Buddha, together with the Buddha, both parties endanger themselves to the other. Both parties give up privacy.

[11:47]

It's a student-teacher partnership. Do you feel like you're in partnership with a teacher? Well, I've got a relationship, but it's not exactly a partnership, or at least I'm a junior partner if I'm a partner. well, I'm going to become a partner in the firm now. Are you a partner in your relationship with your teacher? Are you a co-author about your teacher's life story? Now, some of you are going to wait until your teacher dies and then you're going to write a biography. No teacher around to argue with you about it at that time. But are you co-authoring the teacher's life story now?

[13:02]

And is the teacher co-authoring your life story? Does that sound dangerous? I've been involved with the publication of a book. It's now at the... It's getting printed now. It's about the Bodhisattva precepts. And in the acknowledgments I said that Galen's contribution was so immense that it's tantamount to co-authorship. And the copy editor said, Maybe you should take that out because, you know, there might be some legal problems later. So we took it out so she can't sue me. Says right here.

[14:07]

But now that I said this in public, she can still, she can, you know, if she gives that tape, these tapes, she can take them. By expressing this, I endangered my copyright. Zen has two parts. One part is called Just Sitting, and the other part is called Going to the Teacher. going to visit the teacher and listening to the teaching, asking about the teaching. Two parts. And in both parts we're studying dependent core arising.

[15:12]

In both parts we're studying the middle way. In both parts we're studying. Both in the sitting and in the meeting. Studying the middle way, the middle way is to study relinquishing all views, Relinquishing the views upon which self and other are based. Relinquishing everything that interferes with us helping each other. Everything that constrains us in helping each other. everything that constrains us from moving into the dangerous space for the self, where we find the end of suffering.

[16:24]

If we stay away from the place where the self is endangered and keep the self in a little fortress where it can't be hurt, it just will suffer in that fort forever. At the opening, let the self out and let the self enter the endangered area. Maybe the sitting is helpful. If you sit long enough, you feel enough courage to come out of your little box, to come out of your fort with somebody. And then when you meet them, not just enter the dangerous place, but then respond and express yourself even more. More than just entering, enter and express. Show yourself. See if you can become a partner in the relationship.

[17:27]

In the wedding ceremony that As happened for some time in the West, they have this expression, I plight thee my troth. Troth means truth, old word for truth. I put my truth in plight to you. Please don't destroy my truth, but it is endangered to you now. This is what Linji said to Shang Tsung as he was about to die. I put my truth, my treasury of true drama eyes, in danger to you. Please don't destroy it. And Shang Tsung destroyed it. Poor Linji. His truth got not only plighted, but smashed to smithereens. But then it came alive again.

[18:39]

the successful teacher becomes obsolete. Luminous Owl said something like, can we have a Shoshan ceremony during Sashin? Did you say something like that, Reverend Owl? And I said, well, you know, I want you to, before we have that, I want you to ask people if anybody has a problem with it. Because I, it's really hard on me when, you know, ceremonies where somebody's like, looks like they've been to come. And they're kind of like, I don't want to be here.

[19:46]

Why do I have to do this? It's just so painful for me to see that. I usually like everybody to have a chance to say, no, I don't want to do the ceremony. But then if people don't want to do the ceremony, I don't want to do the ceremony. But today I'm recognizing how dangerous it is to do that ceremony. How dangerous. To come out and show yourself in public. To meet the teacher and show yourself in public. You already had the two Shosan ceremonies as practice period, right?

[20:55]

So those were nice, weren't they? Weren't those good? Huh? Huh? Well, weren't they? Weren't they good? Yeah. So you had some Shosan ceremonies, so you're all set, right? Pardon? You like them, huh? So that's it then, folks. You understand? Zen practice. Just relinquish everything.

[22:03]

That's all. Just relinquish everything that's what? That's constraining you to respond appropriately. Just drop everything so you can respond appropriately. That's all. And see if you can do that with somebody who is up for the same thing. And that relates to what I was saying yesterday about, you know, leaving home. and attaining the way. Leaving home means you leave your little castle, you leave your little fortress. Okay, now I'm going to have a relationship with you where at least I'm committing myself to come to meet you face to face and express myself fully.

[23:15]

That's what I want to do. You don't have to necessarily shave your head to do that, but it seems to me, in my case anyway, if somebody's going to shave their head and I'm the person they're training with, that's what I would want, that kind of meeting. You're no longer living a unilateral practice. It's a bilateral practice. You're deciding together what to do. It doesn't mean you always agree. just means what you always meet and then you agree or you don't agree, but you meet. There can be harmony with disagreement, disharmony with agreement if you don't express yourself. If you hold back your disagreement because you think it would be disagreement or because you think it would cause disharmony, that's disharmony.

[24:18]

Maybe somebody, you know, wants to have a baby. And I say, well, if you have a baby, you know, I don't want to babysit with you. So I'm not going to see you anymore. You're going to be with your baby. I'm not going to see you anymore, so I won't be able to meet you face to face. I won't be able to decide together with you how you're going to live your life. So I don't think we're having a relationship then. A person says, well, I'm telling you, I've got a different idea. I want you to babysit all the time. I may say, I don't agree. I'm not going to do that. I do not want to spend my time taking care of your baby.

[25:27]

Do you want to take care of your baby? Yes. Okay, go ahead. I'm not going to sign up for babysitting. I mean, I might do it, but I'm not signing up for it. Well, then I'm just going to bring my baby wherever you go. I'll bring my baby to the zendo and sit next to you. Yeah? Well, what can I do? What could I do? Would Buddha send somebody away who brought their baby to the talks? Buddha might say, well, I won't send away, but the other people will. Get that baby out of here. Make too much noise. We can't hear the talk. But really, if someone cared that much, what could you say?

[26:39]

Delivering their babies on your pillow. And then when you ask her to get off, she gets off. And then you wake up. to what it means to respond appropriately. Get off my pillow, leave your babies, and go in the kitchen. I think it'll probably do this guy good if I just do exactly what he said. Just do exactly what he said. That'll fix him. You got me. That was the perfect thing to do. If you just sat there with your babies and growled at me, being protective. Well, I know about that. These are my babies. I'm not going to move an inch for you, creepo. No. Okay. You want me to move my babies? Okay. See you later. You deal with it.

[27:45]

You wake up. So the session is not almost over in a sense. It is almost over. But in another sense, it's not almost over. And so as the session comes almost to the end or right after that, you know, at the end of the practice period, you say, well, now what are we going to do? What's going to happen now? What was Buddha teaching his whole lifetime?

[28:51]

What he was teaching was you meet one thing and you teach. You meet one thing, you meet another thing and you respond, you respond, you respond, you respond. So when this day is done, your life thereby decreases. And when this session is over, you will have already learned how not to depend on this session, I hope. You will already be practicing in a way which does not depend on this session. You will already be in the mode of this appropriate response of meeting each person with no constraint, with no hesitation,

[30:05]

Someone asked me, how could I continue my relationship with you after you leave Tassajara? How can you do that? I say, well, there's ways, but I don't want to tell you about them. Is it possible to continue a relationship with somebody? Is it possible to endanger yourself to somebody when they're not around? Is it possible to meet face to face with somebody when they're not around? Is it possible to have a partnership with somebody when they're not around? When you can't see them? phrase that person's question.

[31:43]

This morning someone said to me, and I said, what in the coming is there to be thankful for? And he said, because you came, I could come. I would say, because I go, he can go. When you understand dependent core arising, there's no grasping. Without grasping, you understand dependent core arising. You may not have a little light bulb in your head which goes off, oh, I understand dependent core arising. Or you might have that thought, oh, I understand dependent core arising, how great, I always wanted to. Because I heard it was like to understand in Buddhism.

[33:21]

And that if you understand dependent core arising, you also, well, you might understand emptiness, but not necessarily. But really, it's not some kind of like necessarily thing you understand in your head, but when you understand dependent core arising, you don't grasp. So if you can practice not grasping, you really understand dependent core arising, even if you never heard of it. But even if I've heard of dependent co-arising, but I'm grasping, even though I might be able to give nifty little details about dependent co-arising, if I'm grasping, I don't understand it, really. Buddha understands dependent co-arising, and Buddha's the one who doesn't grasp anything. Not because Buddha's doing things a favor and not grasping them. Buddha just... Because Buddha understands that they're ungraspable. Past mind is ungraspable, the Buddha said.

[34:26]

Future mind is ungraspable, the Buddha said. And the present mind is ungraspable. This is not an unhappy story. This means the Buddha is free to respond to us. Because she understands this. Now, a Jewish version of this, a Brooklyn version of this is yesterday's history. Tomorrow is a mystery. It's a gift. That's why they call it a present. It should be the present. That's why they call it the present. Do you understand? How come you're not laughing? Now you are. Now you are. That's good. Thanks. Was that a challenge? Thank you. So yesterday I said there will be no more talks coming from.

[35:47]

Remember that? And that this situation will continue. There will be no more talks coming from. You're free to give up all grasping and understand the Buddha's teaching of dependent core arising. And you're also free to continue to grasp and not understand the Buddha's teaching of dependent core arising. This is truly a free Buddha land.

[36:48]

And you are here. Congratulations. So at an earlier phase in the as I mentioned, Luminous Al said something like, what has this got to do with Zen? Is that what you said? Something like that? Did you say something else like that?

[37:54]

What would you imagine? You said something like that? Did somebody say something like that? What might they have been asking about? What might that have been that they thought had nothing to do with Zen? That would be the perfect thing, wouldn't it? There's a lot that one might wonder if it has anything to do with Zen. Right? Can you think of anything you might wonder if it has anything to do with Zen? Huh? Puppies, yeah. But the most important thing to wonder if it has anything to do with Zen.

[38:59]

That's the most important thing to wonder about. What are you driving at?

[40:11]

Hiding. Is there anything? Is there suffering? Is there freedom? Is there craving?

[41:24]

Is there contact? Are there six senses? Is there psychophysical? Is there consciousness? You know where we're going next, don't you? Is there dispositions? Is there ignorance? Is there old age sickness and death? What did you say?

[42:46]

Are you Jewish? Where did you learn Yiddish? Did you hear the different accent there? Didn't you want to go around the circle again? No. I said no. Well, Zen is for her to give that up, that no up. Zen is for her to be willing to go around this circle again, if that's the name of what's happening.

[43:52]

Zen is to jump into that yucky place of the owl. Not the inherently existing owl. Not that one which you like, right? Not that nice, but the dependently arising owl. It's nauseating. I couldn't hear that. I was laughing. Birth arises. He, what he really means is gestation. Gestation. Growing. The kitchen is still here.

[45:11]

It's amazing.

[45:12]

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