The surface gets more and more raw as you get old. It's part of the disease of old age. But a lot of people do not get angry at old age. They sometimes say, oh, it's really tough, but they don't actually hate it. But some people hate old age. I don't know if they mean it seriously, but still. And some people say, I hate cancer. But in the old times, people used to not hate their diseases. The conditions that come together to make us old and diseased, those conditions are not trying to hurt us. There's nobody in charge of making us old. There's not like a conspiracy to make us have cancer. or other painful things.

[01:07]

We kind of know that. But enemies or people that are trying to harm us are the same. They're not in control of themselves. They don't think, oh, I would like to be, I want to hate this person. They don't make themselves think that thought. They do think that thought, I hate this person, I want to hurt this person. But they don't make themselves think that. They're not in control of their mind. Their mind is just various causes and conditions. They're like a boat driver with no captain. So it's not that people It's not that they, in a sense, don't mean to hurt us. It's just that they don't make themselves mean to hurt us. Just various causes and conditions come together and this thought arises in their mind, I hate this person.

[02:15]

I hate, they hate me. They're not in control of themselves. They're They're to be treated with compassion. If anyone is intending and wishing and wanting to be our enemy, they deserve compassion. They are unfortunate. They are suffering. They are miserable. And some people aren't even trying to be mean to us. They're just... ...to harm themselves or, you know, doing things which aren't directly attacking us, but, you know, people are like hurting themselves. People are like killing themselves. People are not being careful with their mind, harming themselves, cutting themselves, banging themselves.

[03:24]

I must admit I sometimes am not very careful, like when I go work in the bamboo around my house, I sometimes don't put on gloves. So I reach in to pull out the weeds and sometimes then I touch nettles and get stung or I get needles from the thistles. And if you want to feel compassion for me when you see me working on the thistles and inflicting all this pain in myself, I welcome it. I'm actually kind of enjoying it, though. We all wear gloves. And also sometimes when I go in among the bamboo, the wonderful bamboo, sometimes one of the little

[04:33]

stems or branches, gets bent back and then it flips and then it snaps back and hits me in the eye. And this recently happened a couple days ago just before Sashen, one hit me in the eye and I thought, I wonder if someday one of those is going to put my eye out. Maybe I should wear safety goggles. Even though we have physical difficulties during Sashen, still we have room on top of our physical difficulties and our physical challenges, we have a little bit of space to be irritated by other people. You know, when our pain isn't overwhelming, when there's a little break there, then you can look at other people and be irritated by them, by the way they move, by the way they

[05:38]

And it is irritating, but remember, they're not in control of this irritating way that they are. The bodhisattva is compassionate towards the people who are irritating her. This is a great joy to feel compassion towards people when they're irritating you. and understand that they aren't in control of, you know, making you feel that joy. They can't make you feel the joy unless you respond to the they offer you in a certain way. But they do support. The people that are irritating us do support us

[06:51]

to feel the joy of compassion towards them when they're irritating us. We couldn't feel that joy if they weren't irritating us. Nice to us, that would be enjoyable too, probably, but not as enjoyable as the joy of feeling compassion for people who are irritating us, who are doing these irritating things. still we can be grateful to them even though they're not in control of this wonderful offering. And there's no separation between our joy over their behavior which irritates us and gives us a chance to practice compassion and be really

[07:53]

very happy that we feel compassion towards this person who is helping. There's no separation between our joy and them. Not really. There seems to be, but it's not real. There's nothing. You can't find it. And someone might say, well, then I don't want them to have any joy. They're irritating me. So I want to be joyful because then they'll get some joy. They'll be rewarded for irritating me and they'll irritate me more. No, forget this. I'm going to be miserable and attack them. So if you keep doing these sessions, you'll keep having opportunities to develop patience.

[08:59]

That's one of the reasons I was attracted to Zen, was I thought, you know, in a lot of disciplines or arts, especially physical ones, like band, football, boxing. When you get old, you can't continue. You can be a coach or a teacher, but you can't keep doing it. I thought, in this Buddhism, you can do the physical when you're very old. You can sit and be uncomfortable even when you're old. And young people seem to be able to sit also and be uncomfortable. So teenagers and 20-year-olds can sit and be uncomfortable and really practice patience.

[10:02]

And quite elderly people also can sit and be uncomfortable and practice patience. And the young people inspire the old people and the old people inspire the young people. The young people say, wow, she can barely walk. Look at her. And she's sitting there. And older people look at the young people and say, they can barely sit still. And they can walk. They're not walking. They're sitting. They can run and jump, but they're not. They're sitting. They're sitting. And they're having a hard time sitting. And I'm helping them. How wonderful. And they're helping me. And maybe they'll continue to practice for the rest of their lives. If they learn patience, they will be able to. This patience with our own difficulty and with the insults and harms that other people

[11:15]

give to us, which is not under their control. This is a key ingredient in realizing the Buddha in this world of suffering. And we have several more days to practice it. Several more hours to practice it. Some of you may not be uncomfortable and find some other way to practice patience if you're not uncomfortable. And I won't tell you about any of my discomforts because I don't want you to get distracted and start worrying about me.

[12:26]

I was thinking about our Dharma uncle, Dainan Katagiri Roshi, Compassion Oceans. Great Patience, Compassion Oceans. You think so? They need his great patience. This story of Katagiri Roshi going home and crying and confessing to Tomoe-san that his students loved him so much and praised him so much. So he was confessing his terrible patience. And also I heard a story that he didn't like his name.

[14:36]

He didn't like being great patience. Patient with the name. Yeah, I heard him say that too. That he felt like his teacher kind of saw that he was impatient and gave him that name to work on his patience, to remind him of how impatient he was. And he didn't like the reminder. I so appreciate these stories about him. And for myself and the practice of patience, the word and the intention of protecting arises. I feel that I feel called sometimes. I feel moved to become a protector. But my way of

[15:37]

The role of a protector actually creates trouble. So I'm wondering about... I mean, I'm wondering about patience. Patience. in an appropriate way, like how to be appropriately patient and how to become a protector, a loving protector. Like in fencing, like certain people who are close to me, will, I feel, quickly draw a sword, and then I will. And I feel like I've been well-trained to quickly draw a sword in response. But it's always so whether this is for play or whether, like when you're fencing, it can be quite playful and wonderful.

[16:51]

I think the point is for the wondrousness of the fencing. But if you fencing, you don't suddenly take somebody's hand off. So I feel like in my wish and delight in the play of fencing, I Move my sword to

[17:26]

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