There's been some Dharma talks at Green Gulch given not by me, which some of you may have heard. Have you? I don't know what Phu's been saying during her Sunday morning class, but I've heard the other ones. I just want to tell you, I agree with you. Just in case you might think they're talking about something different. Not really. I'm teaching classes and giving lectures, here, there, and everywhere, and I can't remember what things I said where. So some stuff I say, I don't know if you've heard them or not, so I just may be saying them again, if you haven't heard them.

[01:05]

So in a way, again, as I often tell you, I'm always talking about the same thing, but the same thing has... One of the great, highly appreciated Zen stories is called Sun-Faced Buddha, Moon-Faced Buddha. ...that particular story too much. I just want to tell you the name of it is Sun-Faced Buddha, Moon-Faced Buddha. And those names are two names taken from a scripture that gives, I think, 1,800 names. I'm not... Anyway, there are many names for the Buddha. And two of the names among the many are Sun-faced Buddha, which refers to a Buddha that lives 1800 years, and Moon-faced Buddha, which means a Buddha that lives one day and one night.

[02:15]

But there are so many names for Buddha. The title of this book is Buddha Activity. Right? Is that right, John? All right. One of the names for Buddha is Buddha Activity. It's a name. Buddhas are active Buddhas. Buddhas are active Buddhas. Buddhas are Buddha activity. Buddhas are nothing in and of themselves. They are an activity, and the activity is nothing in and of itself. It's Buddha. So, you all know that, right?

[03:23]

I told you. Basically, you could say that yourself, couldn't you? Buddha is Buddha activity. Buddha is as Buddha does. As Buddha does, is Buddha. Right? That reminds me of a story which is really relevant. Because it came up just now. It's about this geologist. And he particularly specialized in the geology petrochemical deposits. Is that clear? So geologists sort of know good places to drill for oil. And he went around to various engineering schools and gave lectures to the engineers about

[04:32]

geology and how to figure out where to drill. And he had a chauffeur. And the chauffeur went with him to all these talks. And one day the chauffeur was driving him around and the chauffeur said to him, can you guess what the chauffeur We need gas. Huh? Thank you. We need caps. Thank you. Now, the way Dennis said it is like, you didn't think he was capable of that.

[05:36]

I knew he had a sense of humor. Matter of fact, he sometimes... I'm sorry, I was laughing. Did you laugh at that, by the way? That's your own joke? No. Did you laugh at me? This guy laughs at my jokes. Thank you. So that's the end of the story. No. The older version is, Schoepfer said to the geologist, I've been going to your lectures, and I've gone to your lectures so much, I could actually give your lectures. And the geologist said, Oh, that's interesting. Okay, how about the next time I give a lecture, I'm scheduled to give a lecture, you give it, and I'll sit in the back.

[06:40]

And the chauffeur said, okay. So they went to the next university, and the chauffeur gave the talk. And actually it was going quite well. Actually, it was pretty good. And then one of the engineering students asked a difficult question. And the chauffeur said, actually, that's so easy, I'm not even going to answer it. I can ask my chauffeur, you know. So, yeah, so you guys, you guys can, you can practically, you can like teach this class now, right? Because you know what it's about, don't you? What's it about? Yeah, so you can come in here and say, well, today's class is about Buddha activity. Buddha activity is the activity of Buddhas, right? Right?

[07:44]

Now, and that has many names. And another name for Buddha activity is, you know, Zazen. Zazen. So, there is this thing called Zazen, and it is Buddha activity. And one of the names for Buddha activity in the Zen school is Zazen. In some of the other schools, the Buddha way, they don't call Buddha activity Zazen. There are other names for Buddha activity that they use. But in particularly Soto Zen, they call Buddha activity Zazen. Now, some people call Zazen something which is a very, just a specific example. And they mean something that starts here and ends there. So, we have that on schedule.

[08:53]

Five o'clock a.m., the zazen, and then kin. It's sort of like the zazen ends. Well, that's kind of true in a way, but not really. The period of sin ends, but the zazen, the Buddha activity, does not end when the bell rings. And some of the people who might think that the zazen ends when the bell rings might not want to get up, because they want to continue to do zazen by sitting, because they don't want the zazen to end, because zazen doesn't end. But if you are practicing zazen, you're not attached to sitting. So you can get up and do kini, and zazen continues. So again... You all know this now, right? So... And if I say it over and over, we'll never forget it.

[10:01]

And you'll tell other people, which would be good. So I just found this announcement for a class. It's in Berkeley, it's at the yoga room. And... I think I am. But where's Amanda? Are you going to go to that class? So Amanda and Karen have been going to this class. Now they're going to go to Berkeley and go to the same class. They may stop coming here after that class. They go to the same class here and in Berkeley. What's going on? Are they interested in Buddha activity on Monday and Tuesday night? Well, people at Gringotts are only interested in Buddha activity on Monday nights, right? Forget it. We have other things to do.

[11:05]

Okay, does Buddha activity start? No. Got to know. Beginning. Beginningless. Well, is Buddha activity beginningless? Yes. Is Buddha activity endless? Yes. Is movie night? No. We don't have it tonight. It's going to start tomorrow night. Maybe, maybe it could be called off. No electricity, no movie night. If the electricity goes off, could there be Buddha activity? Yes. If it goes on, could there be Buddha activity? Yes.

[12:06]

I agree with you. Buddha activity doesn't begin, it doesn't end, and it's non-stop. Five o'clock begins and ends. The period of zazen starts and ends. But the period of time is not Buddha activity. The way the period of time really is, is zazen, is Buddha activity. So this class is called... In the yoga and the classes that I offer, every class for like 20 or 30 years there, the heading of the class is Zen meditation. And then underneath, something else is written. like face-to-face transmission, working for the welfare of the world, the six heroic practices of bodhisattvas, living for the welfare of the world, great wisdom,

[13:19]

So the type is Zen meditation, and the next line is something else, which is Zen meditation. And when I first started doing those classes a long time ago, I would give instruction in sitting, posture and breathing. Attention to posture and breathing, that's true too. But if it's actually Zen meditation, there's no beginning or end to that. And it's non-stop. But there's also attention to something that starts and stops. That's not excluded. And you can use something that starts and stops as an opportunity to open to Buddha activity. Jiriya gave a talk on Sunday.

[14:24]

I think he was talking... One of the descriptions of what he talked about was he was talking about becoming intimate with suffering. Did anybody hear him say that? Intimate with suffering. Suffering has an end. It arises and ceases, and then arises and ceases, and arises and ceases. And each suffering is unique, and impermanent. And people will be facing that suffering. Did he also talk about, I think he also talked about some people running away from it? Right? Sometimes people try to run away from suffering. Even though it's impermanent, even right then in its impermanent moment sometimes people try to run away. Did he say something like that? I agree with him.

[15:26]

Suffering is impermanent, and don't use that as an excuse to try to run away from it. Intimacy with suffering, is that impermanent? That's a hard one. Intimacy with suffering, is that impermanent? One person's not. I won't say who. One person nodded. I won't say who it was. The correct answer is no. Intimacy is not impermanent. Intimacy is not impermanent. Intimacy has no beginning or end. Everything's intimate. Everything's intimate. Intimacy, all things that occur are intimate with their causes and conditions.

[16:33]

So every moment is a moment of intimacy. There's another way to say every moment is a moment of Buddha activity. Buddha activity is intimacy. Did I talk about the koan during this practice period of what's going on under the patch robe? Yes. No? I did in Houston, right? No? You don't remember? You didn't go to all sessions. So I didn't talk during this practice period about the intimacy under the robe? No. All right. Well, see, I don't know. So, how about during the intensive? There's a story about two of our ancestors. And again, I tell this one over and over so you can learn the names, right? Two of our ancestors. One of them is named, what?

[17:53]

Doan Kanchi. Doan Kanchi. That's actually quite good. Doan Kanchi. Doan Kanchi Dayosho, right? And he had a student, and the student's name was, now you know, Doan Kanchi Dayosho. Dozan Enkan Dayosho. So you say them quite frequently in the morning. So now you can say, How about? Anyway, student and teacher, the student is carrying the teacher's robe. And Ryozan Enkan hands the robe to the teacher, and as he's handing, the teacher says, What is the business under the patch robe?

[18:55]

And the student can't speak, has nothing to say. And then the teacher says, Now you ask me. And so the student says to the teacher, What is the business under the patch robe? And the teacher says, Intimacy. And the teacher says... Who said that? Do-wan-kan-chi. Yeah, Do-wan-kan-chi, Da-yu-sha said that. To-ryo-zan-en-kan. Intimacy. And then, that's the main story. The thought goes on a little while. Turns to the teacher and says... Now you ask me again. The teacher says, what's the business under the paschal robe? And the student says, intimacy, intimacy. What's the business under the paschal robe? Intimacy. What's the business under the paschal robe? Buddha activity.

[19:57]

What's the business under the paschal robe? Zazen. We have people in the Zen-to there. In those days, most of the people in Zen-to were wearing patched robes. And their business, what they put the robes on, was Sat-ten. Their business was Buddha activity. Their business was intimacy. And again, the names go on and on. but what's going on inside a Buddha activity person, which is a Buddha. But sentient beings are also we. So I say to you, I quote the ancestors telling you when you're sitting, we're sitting there, and the business we're doing is maintaining the essential working of Buddha activity. That's what we're doing. Maintaining, we're not only maintaining sitting from this point to this point, we're doing that, we're coming in sitting down, sitting and getting up and walking and sitting down, we're doing that practice, but we're also maintaining the essential, pivotal activity of Buddhas.

[21:25]

The pivotal activity, the word is pivotal, necessary, and essential. The necessary activity of Buddhists. Buddhists do not have to sit cross-legged. They often do. They don't have to stand up. If they had no legs, they wouldn't be able to stand up. Buddhists do not need to walk. Buddhists do not have to lie down. They don't have to eat breakfast. Or dinner. But there's an essential activity that they... which is Buddhahood, which is Buddha activity. That is essential. That is necessary. That is pivotal. And what is it? It's their activity. Which, again, in this school we call the activity, the pivotal, necessary. We call it Zaza. So again, the name of the class is Zen Meditation, Buddha Activity, and I look at them and I go, yeah, right.

[22:35]

Zen Meditation, Buddha Activity, how nice, how simple. Sounds like something you do. Pardon? Sounds like something you do. Yeah, but it sounds like that, however, if it was something you could do, then it wouldn't be Buddha Activity, because... The things you do have beginnings and ends. The things you can do have a beginning and end. You can't do anything that's beginningless. The things you do have beginnings and ends, which is fine. Which is fine. So you don't do zazen. Zazen does you. Now, again, I was sort of warming up to letting you know a little bit about how do you wake up to, how do you open an activity which you don't do?

[23:43]

How do you open to an activity that doesn't have a beginning? I think you already know how to open up to an activity that has a beginning, like, okay, one, two, three, sit upright. I was slouching. Now, one, two, three, sit up. At the beginning, okay, there it was. Okay, yeah, still upright, and then slouch. I did the upright sitting. I did that. It had a beginning and an end. I did it. Okay, great. That was very nice. Thank you. Zaza. which I wasn't doing, but is what I am. So what's our responsibility, or what's our opportunity is? And here comes Hallie!

[24:46]

Hallie. Okay, Hallie. We're a little short on charity, sorry. Pardon? Yeah. Can you keep laughing? I will. It's probably latched. Haley, I have a chair for you if you want to come sit in the chair. Do you have any more chairs? No, I'm fine. Thank you. You are? All right. So what's our responsibility? Our responsibility is to be here.

[25:53]

from where we are, to not run away from intimacy, to not run away from or distract ourselves from Buddha activity. So we are... Intimacy with suffering is already the case. But if we don't remember that, and honor that, and respect that, We can miss them. For example, by trying to run away from it, and while we're trying to run away, not be there when we try to run away. We can somehow, we seem to be able to distract ourselves from ourselves, which of course is nonsense, but we keep trying. We know it's silly trying to distract ourselves from being ourselves, to try to get away from something. We cannot get away from this.

[27:02]

It's built into our nervous system to try to get away from it. It's built into our nervous system to try to go someplace and do something that's really fun, that we think is really fun. And it's part of our... It moves those little muscles, develop, and jump up and down and build those bones. They think, this will be really fun. So that's why we are being called to realize Buddha activity, which entails, is not the same. It is the same. We are being called to realize Buddha activity which is the same as we are being called to realize intimacy And we are also being called to realize intimacy with pleasure.

[28:12]

We are being called to realize intimacy with suffering, with fear, with anxiety, with confusion, with hatred, Which means we're being called to listen to the suffering, to practice compassion with suffering. That will help us realize intimacy. We're already intimate with suffering. But if we don't practice compassion with it, if we turn away from it, and don't practice compassion towards the We don't realize the intimacy. We think that we can get away from the intimacy with suffering, and thinking that way and acting it out, we think we actually succeeded.

[29:19]

So we think we can succeed in getting away from what we're being asked to do by the Buddhas. We're being asked to be Buddha, which is the same as we're being... Buddhas are intimate with all suffering. We're being asked to learn that. We're being asked to be compassionate to all kinds of suffering, but also we're being asked to be compassionate to everything. And we are in the process of learning how to practice that way. Sometimes it seems like we say, I do not want to be compassionate. That's the way you're practicing compassion at that time. Which you can say is not a literal way to practice compassion. It's kind of a rebellious way of practicing compassion.

[30:23]

But that's the way you're doing it. Because that's the path you're on. You're on the path of of practicing and realizing Buddha activity, intimacy with all the different types of... So, when people are talking about practicing compassion, I'm talking about the same thing. But I'm also talking about the same thing in relationship to realizing what's going on. Because if you're not compassionate with your suffering, you kind of distract yourself from what's going on with your suffering. So, another thing you've heard in Zen is not seek outside yourself. But people do.

[31:26]

Our nervous system prompts us, our unconscious cognitive process in our body stimulates us to seek outside ourself. So the teaching is, if you seek outside yourself, you'll lose your way. This intimacy is heart-rending. The intimacy of your life will pull your heart apart if you seek outside. heart-rending if you seek outside. So seeking outside means not being here, not being compassionate to this situation. So I've been saying over and over again, this situation, this situation. So another word that's been used, Linda Ruth's been She said it in her last talk here on the 24th, and she said it a lot during her stepping down ceremony.

[32:34]

Another term is GMM. Grandmother Mind. GMM. Now, I would say that GMM is a little bit different from VA. Yeah, a little bit different. I think GMM is kind of like faith. And B.A. is the realization of the faith. So there's two kinds of grandmother mind in a way. One is like the way grandmothers deal with their kids. I spent the day taking care of a girl who called me granddaddy. And I survived. I'm here. What it did, she was such a great leader. Part of the day involved me being horsey. And I went down to the shop and borrowed... Got it restored in the shop.

[33:42]

The Savics had gave me a pair of knee pads, but the ones they gave me don't protect my knees very well, so I went down and borrowed them, and it worked quite well. We had a horsey, and she wants me to, you know, try to play on the carpet. Anyway, it was quite a day, and that was like one kind of grandmother mind. It's my devotion to her today. And a lot of people Practice that way with the grandchildren. The grandmother mind has another meaning, which is the understanding, basically it's the understanding to not seek outside. It's the understanding to use this present activity and don't skip over it. Don't think that walking across the floor here, barefoot, I'm heading towards Patrick, And there's some other Buddhism besides this.

[34:50]

But this is not that bad. I don't know. It's not mean or stupid. I don't know. Anyway. Even if it is stupid. But you know the true way that me being here working in that factory. Not because of me. There's people, especially Buddhists, especially really intense practitioners who are like, just in the actual Buddha way, probably not this, probably not being like these people. Now, if these people are 16 feet tall and have golden skin, just ordinary, just like, probably not. Maybe not. I'm just kidding.

[35:53]

There's no other place where it's probably going to really happen. If I go up, it will. It'll be up there, too, wherever I am. There's Buddha ways, not some other place. And it's very hard to believe that unless you believe it. And believing it has the second meaning of Grandmother Mind. It's Soto Zen. It's like you believe And when Dogen Zenji was dying, he said to his wonderful disciple, Tetsugikai, you are a wonderful disciple, Tetsugikai. But you lack somewhat this grandmother mind. I always wondered on that point of why Durgin had to go to China. Like, what was wrong with his Japanese then teachers? He didn't have a grandma in mind. Yeah. So how did he get back by traveling?

[36:55]

How did he get back by traveling? Well, if you live for a little bit longer, and I live a little longer, I'll tell you endless stories about how he got Grandmother Mind. But those are just stories. Nobody knows how we get Grandmother Mind. No one knows how that happened. It reminds me of another point. Which is, somebody said to me... It's related. Somebody said to me, what is this practicing together thing? What is this you're talking about? Buddha activity is practicing together. It's not something that Buddhas do by themselves. Buddha activity is the same practice and the same enlightenment as all of us.

[37:56]

We're doing... That's Buddha activity. That doesn't have a beginning or an end. The same practice. The different practices have beginnings and ends. So somebody heard me talk about, over and over, practicing together. And so she says, what is... And so I talked to her about it. And in the process she kind of told me that she could kind of see this practicing together at Green Gulch. She couldn't see practicing together like out in the city. And I said, it's nice that you can see us practicing together, but what you see is your vision of it. That's not actually how we're practicing together.

[39:03]

That's just your perception of it. And it's lovely that you have such a nice perception. And then if you leave here and you look at your relationship with people and you say, oh, we're not practicing together. Well, that's your perception. The way we're practicing together is not a perception. And so, but still, we have a place like Green Gulch where it promotes people having the perception of practicing together. She actually could perceive us practicing together here. But she says, when I leave here, I don't perceive it anymore. She didn't say perceive, I don't get it, I don't see it. And I said, well, we often offer the opportunity for somebody to practice in a community for one to fifty years. And during that process of perceiving practicing together, for decade after decade, by being there for the observation, for the perception of practicing together, and being there for that, and being there for that, and not running away from these people who you're practicing with, who you sometimes would like to run away from, but you don't.

[40:29]

I mean, you do, but then you say, I'm sorry, I tried to run away from you. I'm sorry. I know that's not the practice, but I tried. And I'm sorry that I thought that. And so on. After decades of trying, of perceiving practice, you open up to the practice that you can't perceive, which was always there. And then you can leave the community and go someplace where nobody around you... and you see that they're practicing with you. You see with your wisdom eye. But you have to be kind to your perceptions of, we are practicing together and we're not practicing together. You have to be open to the painful perception, we're not practicing together. Or I'm practicing with these people, not these people. We have to be compassionate towards our story.

[41:34]

This is how Dogen got enlightened. This is not how Dogen got enlightened. To realize the way actually we are enlightened, and the way we're actually practicing, which is not a perception, it's reality. Reality is not a perception. But it is a mind, and it doesn't exclude any perceptions. It is the intimacy of all perceptions, which is not another perception, I would say. But anybody who doesn't see people practicing together, it's good to go someplace where you do see people practicing together. and then work with that perception until you become free of it.

[42:39]

And when you're free of the perception of people practicing together, you'll see people practicing together free of your perception of people practicing together. But you have to be compassionate to your perception of we're practicing together. And also, we're not practicing together. And also, I'd rather not practice with these people Somebody kindly came and told me today that she actually doesn't want to practice with some of the people at Green Gulch. Because they are really obnoxious. You know, I could go on about how bad these people appear to be. And you could probably understand, well, I wouldn't want to be with those people either. Except, wait a minute. The business under the robe is intimacy.

[43:43]

So intimacy is not about wanting to be with those people. And it's also not about not wanting to be with them. It's about being compassionate to the people and yourself. Some other people don't want to be with their own feelings. They want to go someplace where they won't have somebody else's feelings. Their feelings are really... They say, my feelings are really disgusting. Not only do I feel disgust, but I'm disgusted with my feeling disgust. I do not want to be around here. To realize intimacy requires being compassionate to our wish to get away from what's going on. We're built to want to get away from what's going on. If things are going well, we're built to wonder, well, what's next?

[44:51]

If things are not going well, we're built to, what's next? So we're bucking a tremendous habit of not being present and not being compassionate. And it's built into the survival process, the reproductive thing. But we have teachings about how to not get trapped in that pit. So compassion is great, Buddha activity, and it's a type of Buddha activity which will help us realize what is the compassion that doesn't have a beginning or an end. But you can use compassion that starts and lasts for a while and stops.

[45:55]

You can use that to realize that compassion was just a wood activity. How did Dogen get grandmother mind? I don't know. Can I tell stories? How did Tektugikai get grandmother mind? I don't know. Can I tell stories about it? Yes, and I do. He eventually woke up to grandmother mind.

[47:00]

Here he has one of the most wonderful teachers in the history of Japan, maybe in the world. And the teacher was teaching, and this very enthusiastic student did not believe Dogen. Dogen taught him, grandmother might. No, I don't think so. How come he was like that? I don't know. How come he... got over that. I don't know. But I believe he did. I've heard he did. It makes sense that we can get over this. But it's hard. It's hard to use this to be here for this. But that's why we need training. With training, we can be here and this

[48:02]

Like another phrase you've heard in Soto Zen, just this is it. Which is an abbreviation actually for just this person is it. Just this person who's disgusted with himself and disgusted with others. and who appreciates himself and appreciates others. So when you appreciate others, that's nice, that's great, that's kind of like, yeah, there. And if you are, now you have a chance. The opportunity is already there. Actually, now you can use it. At every moment, there's an opportunity. And one of the things in that story about Dogen and Tetsukikai is Dogen starts out the conversation by saying, you know, I'm sick, and he was.

[49:14]

We don't know for sure, but he may have had something, a combination of cancer and tuberculosis. There's various theories about what his disease was, given what we know about him. He was really sick, but he was still teaching. Just like Suzuki Roshi, when he was really sick with cancer, he was still teaching. He was teaching so nicely. It was wonderful. He was okay before he got sick, but when he got cancer, it was really, really deep. I mean, it went deep. When Dogen was sick, he still was teaching, and he called Tetsugikai and he said, I'm sick. And he said, concerning the Buddha Dharma, there are ten million, he didn't say ten thousand, but ten million things that I have not yet clarified.

[50:16]

However, I have the joy of not having mistaken views and having right faith. And his right faith was grandmother mind. His right faith was, there's no other Buddhadharma than what we're doing right now. That's not the same saying, what we're doing right now is the Buddhadharma saying, there's no Buddhadharma outside us, it's here. but we can't see it unless we're willing to be here. And we can train, and we can learn to be here. And we're having a hard time. We're all having more or less a hard time being here. And right faith is that being here is required to realize what is true.

[51:32]

And what is true is there's no Buddha activity other than what we're doing here. See the difference? I'm not saying activity, I'm saying there isn't one other than this. And by being devoted to this, just this, we will wake up to the Buddha activity. And by trying to find the Buddha activity someplace else, we won't wake up, at that moment anyway. We try to find it someplace else, we get distracted, but we can recover from that. We can say, oops, and give that up, and be here trying again. So I've said that again many times, and people in recovery come into Zen Center to learn another kind of recovery. But it's basically the same. Coming from using addiction to deal with the addictions, to deal with suffering, rather than using the moment of suffering, using compassion.

[52:38]

Yes? I wonder if you could... I guess I want to say I feel like the grandmotherly mind is one aspect. Like, say, for example, Christianity has got different aspects of... the hope of God or whatever. Grandma, to me, I had always thought that grandmotherly mind was that even, say, this great teacher, great teacher, but... maybe was just short of having grandmotherly mind. There was one aspect that he, like, he didn't have the softness of a grandmotherly mind, the compassionate and the... I think he had the softness, but he didn't have the confidence that he should work someplace else for the splendid, magnificent work that we're doing now.

[54:13]

So I think he liked, actually, in some sense, the strict side. Do not seek elsewhere. Even though he was very generous and careful. He was the tenzo before he was the director. When he's tenzo, it ages in snow countries. he used to, the kitchen was set up for the Master, he used to wash the snow to take the food to the monks. He was a very generous, kind person. But he a little bit thought, as he was wiping the snow, you know, there's some great Buddha dharma somewhere, isn't there? Yes, I know. Like when Linda... Yeah, she... One is this warm, soft, loving grandmother, which a lot of grandmothers have. But not all Venerables understand or even care that there's no Buddhadharma other than kids. And they're happy to take care of the kids, but there's some Christianity other than that, or Buddhism other than that.

[55:24]

So the second aspect of Grandmother Lani, the special pen on Zen, It's different from just the way a lot of grandmothers feel. But the sincerity and generosity and courage is part of what helps you when you have this other grandmother. Just like, you know, a lot of grandmothers, a lot of Christian grandmothers, I think they are taking care of the grandchildren, but they think the priesthood is doing the Catholicism. They're the ones who are really communicating with God. I'm just taking it in the scheme, which I'm happy to do, and I'd give my life for it, but I'm not really doing Christianity. I'm not carrying the doctrine. I guess in my mind, I was distinguishing it from, like, there's the grandmother, and there has to be, like, a father figure as well. Like, this is great.

[56:27]

In a way, the grandmother is all mixed with the father figure. Make your grandmother mine. A father could maybe say, there's no other Buddhadharma than what you're doing. And that gives your grandmother mine. It actually makes you more wholehearted in taking care of people. But somebody has to sort of make a statement. Maybe that's the father's job. So grandmother mine is like, don't seek elsewhere. But that should be done in such a way that people will accept it. It's not an exclusion. It's like an intense non-exclusion. Rather than a soft, gentle, or is it rather than just soft, gentle, non-exclusion? It's a very deep point, and Dogen had that. And it was the joy that that was his faith. When he said, I have... Your chair is very close to the edge.

[57:28]

The leg of the chair. Oh, no, maybe not. So that's Dogen's faith. And he was also very kind to this person. And he also knew this person was very kind to the monks, but this person thought there was some other Buddha way than the practice he was doing. He knew he was practicing sincerely, but he didn't believe that there was no other way than what he was doing in that conversation with Dogen. Even while Dogen was saying that, he was thinking, what's he talking about? And he was thinking, at that moment, there's probably some other Buddha down there than me being here and not understanding what my teacher's saying. I often thought that was his iteration. I often thought, well, here we are talking, but this is kind of like not really at the level of, you know, Buddha.

[58:31]

Then I lacked the Buddha realm of mind at that time. Again, I talked about learning how to count. And I didn't talk about it here. Right? So, I'm riding with Suzuki Roshi from San Francisco to Portland, and he says, I'm going to teach you how to count people in Japanese. I knew he wanted me to learn Japanese, so I said, okay, fine. So then he teaches me how to count people in Japanese. And I'll tell the extended version of the story next class, if you remind me. But I just want to say that after he taught me how to count people in Japanese, I had another parallel story. He wants me to learn how to count people in Japanese. He's teaching me how to count people in Japanese. Okay? And also, there's some other Buddha Dharma that he could be teaching.

[59:35]

He's a Zen master, right? So he can teach... Not all Zen masters can teach you to count. Do you understand? Pardon? No. Well, some Zen masters do not speak Japanese. But Chinese Zen masters maybe don't know how to count in Japanese. Buddha, Shakyamuni Buddha probably didn't know how to count people. But this Japanese Zen master, he knew how to count people, so he could teach me. Is it different counting people than counting items? Yeah. Like counting cylindrical objects, there's a number which ends with the word home. For counting bottles. So one bottle is each poem. Two bottles of Nihon. Three bottles of Sanbon. So there's a counter for cylindrical objects. There's a counter for people.

[60:36]

There's a counter for pieces of paper. And then Nimae. And then Sanmae. And there's a counter for books. Satsu. Is that right, Yuki? But counting people is nin. But not just simply like ichi-nin. It's not ichi-nin. It's tori. And that two is photographer. But three is san-nin, the nin counter. And then four is yo-nin. And then five is go-nin. But while he was teaching me that, after I was practicing it, I was thinking... You know, kind of like, well, this isn't what... He didn't teach me Buddhism just now. I didn't have that in my mind. Going elsewhere.

[61:38]

You were going elsewhere. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if I thought it, but I could have thought, like, well, you know, a really good Zen student, he would be teaching them Zen, but me, teach us to count people in Japanese. I could have been thinking that. He's teaching me Japanese as a substitute. But there's no substitute. Thank you so much. I'm getting called on one point. Yeah? Wait a second. Is there any of the Buddha Dharma that you've been called on at that point? I think so, for sure. Okay, well. That's not bad. All right. So, you're lacking gratitude.

[62:41]

I can't believe that. Yeah, I believe it too. But don't worry, Tetsugika didn't believe it either. You remind me then. Yeah, so you're like... You're a present-day tetsugikai. Maybe someday you'll have a disciple like Dayosha. Wouldn't that be nice? I'm not sure. Yeah, I'm not sure either. Nice isn't really the word. It would be inconceivably wonderful. In the meantime, we have here... Buddha activity? Yes. I'm aware that this is the process of training, but I get calm, like, once I get, once this happens, everything gets perfumed. And I'm not going to revert back into... Once you realize it, you won't revert, and everything will be perfumed.

[63:46]

That's right. However, right now, everything is perfumed, too. And you revert it. Wait. Wait a second. I'll wait. I'll wait. Everything you do now, perfume. Excruciation. Excruciation. If you think excruciation, if you think excruciation... Well, that's dramatic. It perfumes something uncomfortable. For me. Everything you do perfumes. Everything you think, everything you do, everything you make, perfumes. There's consequences of everything you do. That's already the case. If you realize this Buddha activity, there will still be consequences. However, the consequences will be the transmission of the Dharma. you will encourage other people to be present the way you learned how to be present and not look someplace else.

[64:47]

When you learn that, you will show other people how to be present and not look someplace else. Because most people need a lot of help in order to stop practicing. And then it takes a lot in order to actually stop looking someplace else for Buddha activity, for freedom and peace. We want freedom and peace. And if we seek it elsewhere, that's antithetical to the realization. It's not antithetical. Because, you know, There's nothing antithetical to peace. That's what peace is. But if we search otherwise, we miss the peace. And we're built to search. So we're trained to be here with what's going on. We're training at intimacy. We're training in order to realize what's already the case.

[65:50]

Reality is already the case. But we need training. You're already who you are, but you need training to realize that. Hard training. There's no harder training. It's top of the line, difficult. Which many of you are telling me, you're having a hard time. You're saying, right? You're having a hard time. I feel a little better now. Yeah, but you sometimes are having a hard time. And even now you're having a little bit of a hard time, aren't you? Right now? Yeah. I feel kind of better. But I probably, if I look, I'll find something. It's okay that you feel better. Maybe you feel better, like, you feel encouraged to, like, be a Sam. Do you? Be a what? Be Sam, you feel encouraged to do that. Yeah. My job is to encourage you to be Sam, right? Right. Isn't that my job? Yep. Yeah, it's my job. Because that's like my job to help them, right?

[66:53]

Yep. My job is to encourage you back to the South, right? Which is my job to encourage you to be sound. You're trying to confuse me, I think. No, I'm not. No, I'm just saying I told you. Was that a joke? Was that your attempt at a joke? Let us know. Was it? Okay, laugh. We're here to support you in your comedic career. We do not want this to be a tragedy. No. Yes. Can you recap or expand a little bit about how to be... Would I say a little bit about it? Can you re-summarize or expand a little bit about how to become... Do you want me to expand or summarize?

[67:58]

Okay. If you want me to expand, come to class next week. If you want me to summarize, I can summarize quite quickly. Otherwise, expanding is going to take quite a while. Unless you want a one-minute expansion or a ten-minute expansion or a two-hour expansion. One what? One minute. One minute, okay. Be generous with the suffering. Be gracious to it. Say welcome to it. Say thank you very much for coming. What is it? I'm here for you. I'll never abandon you. No, never. I'll teach you how to be here for me. I'm not telling you to shut up. No, wait. I'm here for you. That's number one. Number two, be careful of it. Be careful of what? Be careful of what? You want to stop for a minute. We're talking about how to deal with suffering.

[69:04]

Be careful. Be tender. Be gentle. Pay close attention. Listen. Watch. Don't say bad things about it. Don't try to kill it. Don't use paid insurance. Use paid freedoms. Next. Generous. Catholic. Patient. Patient, but be present with it. I'm already over a minute. Next, be enthusiastic about it. Be enthusiastic about it. Be enthusiastic about being kind to it. Feel the aspiration to be kind to yourself. And feel it over and over again.

[70:07]

I really want to do this. And I'm going to. And I'm never going to stop. And then be calm with it and relax. So you can play with it. Be creative with it. With what? Suffering. If you can play with suffering, be creative with it, you can wake up to what it really is. Buddha activity. It's Buddha activity in the form of suffering. Calling you in to realize it. That's the summary. And the expansion will be the rest of my life, okay? You hang out with me, you'll get an expanded version. Hanging out with me is rather painful, so I don't miss it very much. Thank you.

[71:08]

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