Here we are in a situation where we have a Dharma talk. And I'm talking. And there are some things I actually would like to talk about. I'd like to talk about some energy, to talk about some things, some inspiration, some vitality which is up for speaking. You see it? See the speaking? It's fostered, it's coming from some life. And could I ask Priya if she would be willing to move to her left a little bit?

[01:07]

Dan's sitting up real high, so I can see him over the top of your head. Thank you. Can you move over a little bit more? So I can see your face. Thank you. And then as I'm on the verge of talking about these things that I'm interested in talking about, I often remember, oh, but wait a minute, what about your energy? So then I thought, well, where does my energy come from? My energy comes from My spiritual energy comes from my spiritual aspirations. And I think yours does too.

[02:10]

And then the thought arose in consciousness, well, we just recited a bunch of verses about an aspiration of a 13th century Buddhist monk in Japan. We just recited his aspirational song. It actually says I in the original. I vow from this life on throughout countless lives to hear the true Dharma. That upon meeting it, I will renounce worldly affairs and maintain the Buddhadharma. And that in doing so, the great earth and all living beings will attain the Buddha way.

[03:56]

That's an example of an aspiration. And I actually share that aspiration. So he said, it's probably in Japanese, and this is an English translation, his aspiration seems to be like mine. I share such an aspiration. I vow to hear the true Dharma. And I vow, when meeting the true Dharma, I'll be able to renounce worldly affairs. It will be spontaneous. Worldly affairs means distractions from this true Dharma. And then I'll be able to maintain the Buddha Dharma, or the Buddha Dharma will be maintained. And then all beings will... the whole earth and all living beings will realize the Buddha Way.

[04:59]

That's an example of an aspiration, a wish, I have such a wish. That's an example of a prayer. I have such a prayer. I pray that I and you will meet the true Dharma and that we together will attain the Buddha way. Recently I was... I had this new practice of telling you the jokes that come through my head, some of them, especially the ones I laugh out loud at, before you know what they are. So the joke was, recently someone came to talk to me about this thing, and I thought how funny it is that this recently just happens over and over again, this recently.

[06:03]

It's very frequent that people come and talk to me about this. What is it? It is that people say to me, they say, why do I have such a hard time doing what I most want to do? Why do I forget what's most important to me? People come to see me and we're starting to talk, and I often check to see, you know, what's most important to you? Because they're talking about some problem they're having, and I would like to know what's really important to them, because that will be, when we find that out, that will be useful for us to apply to this, whatever this problem is. And then we find out what's most important to them. And then we use that to take care of this problem that they brought me.

[07:07]

And then they say, why do I keep forgetting this? Why do I have to come here to remember what's most important? And I say, you can probably guess what I say. What do I say? You're not guessing. Depatience. Huh? Depatience. No, they're asking me why they forget, and I say... It's the nature of things. What? It's the nature of things to forget. It's the nature of things. I don't say that, but that's true. But I say I don't know. I really don't know. I forget what's most important. And I like to say, oh, that's most important. And then somebody says, boo. I don't know why we forget.

[08:14]

But what I kind of do know, what I kind of do know, is that we have to remember. We sort of have to remember. It is the nature of human things that humans seem to need to remember. Remember what? What is it we need to remember? We need to remember what we think is most important. It's most important to remember what's most important. Well, remember is almost most important. But it's not just remember is most important, it's remembering that remember is most important, and remembering what's most important is most important to remember. And it's not just that you're retarded. Great Zen masters of the past, they had to remind themselves

[09:16]

Like this great Zen master, Ehe Dogen Zenji, he had to say, I vow, I pray, I aspire, I want. He had to say that. He had to write it. And then he wrote it down and other people copied it. And now for 800 years, people are remembering what he used to remember. So I have some things to talk about. But the starting point of being able to listen to me is that you are remembering what's most important. If you remember what's important, what I say may fit into your program. Depends on what's most important. If what's most important is to have me not talk, then me talking might not fit in very well, but actually it might fit in really well. I don't know. What is your aspiration for life?

[10:26]

What's most important in your life, for your life, for your life with everybody else's life? What's most important? What's your ultimate concern? What's your inmost request? What's your deepest desire? What is it? I'm not saying it's easy to find an answer to that, I'm just saying, if you lose contact with that, although we may still be going to meditation halls, or going and trying to take care of our family and children, or take care of our parents, our spouse, or take care of our friends, which is all part of what we want to do, if we lose track of what is most important in the midst of all this caregiving, we're kind of like walking, we're kind of like going through the motions, as they say.

[11:39]

We don't have enthusiasm, and we need enthusiasm for wisdom. If you want wisdom, for example, you need enthusiasm. If you want to liberate all these beings you've cared for, not just get them through the day, but liberate them today. If you want that, you need energy. You need all your energy. And you've got a lot. But if you don't tap into it, you're not operating wholeheartedly. I'm not hopper anymore. I vow from this life on throughout countless life to hear the true Dharma. Is that your vow? Is it my vow? It is my vow. Do I remember it? I need to remember. Do I remember it? I want to remember. Do you ever forget it? Sometimes. Do I remember it? Sometimes.

[12:41]

When I remember it? Am I glad? Yes. When I remember it, does energy start coming? Yes. When I forget it, what do I do? I confess and repent. I say, I'm sorry, I forgot my vow, I forgot my aspiration, I forgot the source of energy for this life of wholeheartedly working so that all beings, together with the Great Earth, can attain the Buddha Way. I need to refresh, renew, recreate, re-engage with that energy that comes from that aspiration, that vow. If you go through a whole day without doing it,

[13:43]

I don't know, maybe you can be energetic all day without tapping into this. I don't know. I'm not saying you can't. But I think pretty much if you do tap in, you will realize after you tap in that you have more energy than you did before you did. Maybe you were okay before. But if you tap into it and you fully inflate your spiritual heart, Now it can go to work. But still, then again, you have to do it. You can wait maybe until the next day, but it will be okay if you do it several times a day. And it doesn't take that long to re-access it. You just got to stop for like... It doesn't take a minute necessarily to say, you know, what's most important again? Why not? Remember stillness.

[14:46]

Why not? Remember stillness. Remember stillness. My whole body and mind, remember stillness. And receive it. And practice it. And transmit it. Yeah. And I just did that. I mean, I just lived that way. It was pretty wholehearted. But I had to remember that. and I had to reconnect with my aspiration. Our energy comes from our aspiration. There's other things we're involved in that come from different aspirations. And those things are kind of unconscious. Like, for example, the energy to protect yourself when threatened. You don't have to make a special trip to the aspiration to survive for that energy to come up. So there's a lot of biological survival mechanisms that have plenty of energy

[15:52]

when needed. But spiritual energy is different. You have to go to the spiritual aspiration to refuel. So the recent example was somebody came to me and he told me basically he's plagued with negative thoughts. plagued with negative thoughts about himself and about other people. He is really plagued with bad, negative judgments about his own life and the way other people are. It's really hard on him. He's a wonderful person who's plagued, who's afflicted by all these negative thoughts. And so he was plagued and he didn't know what to do with it. So then we found out actually what he wants to do with it.

[16:57]

He wants to be kind to all that negative thoughts. He wants to practice compassion. He wants to be still with it. He wants to be generous with it. He wants to be careful of it. He wants to be patient with it. He wants to be diligent with it. He wants to be calm and open with it. Do you want to be that way with negative thoughts? I think a lot of you are nodding your heads like you do want to be that way with negative thoughts. With your own? With other people's? Like other people's negative thoughts about themselves? Other people's negative thoughts about you? your negative thoughts about them. It's not easy when you think a bad thought about something, like you think somebody's below average. It's not necessarily easy for you to open to that and be generous with that.

[18:01]

But don't you want to? Yeah, well, he did want to, and he's the one who said, why can't I remember this? And I say, I don't know. I don't know. But I do know... how to promote the remembering of it. And the way to promote the remembering of it is by remembering it. If you go through a whole day and you have not remembered what your aspiration, what your most important thing in your life is, if you've gone through a whole day, I think that was a risky day. If you got through, great. If you're energetic and wholeheart about what you did, wonderful. A lot of people cannot go a whole day without remembering what's most important and still be fully engaged in their life, not to mention several days.

[19:02]

So we start these talks by reciting somebody else's vows, and you check out when you say them if they're yours. Do you want to hear the true dharma? Do you want to renounce distractions from Dharma practice, from maintaining it? Do you want to realize the Buddha way together with Great Earth and all living things? Do you want to? And if you do, do you feel some energy for that? And if you don't, if you don't feel energy for this project, well then go back and say it again. And again, and again, and again, the more you consult your aspiration, the more the energy comes. Like sometimes I might say, someone says, I want to practice compassion. I really do. It's most important to me. Are you ready to practice it? No. I'm not. I could tell you... I can look at it again. What do you want to do? Are you too tired for me to ask you a question?

[20:08]

No? Go ahead, ask me a question. What's most important? Compassion. Are you ready to practice it? No, I'm too tired. Can I ask you a question? Yes. What's most important? Compassion. Are you ready to practice it? Almost. Ask me again. What's most important in your life? Compassion. Are you ready to practice it? Yes. I'm ready to practice. With your negative thoughts? Yes. With the most terrible negative thoughts? Yes. That's what I want to do and that's what I want to do and that's what I want to do and I'm doing it now. Practicing compassion with negative thoughts is a good opportunity to get ready to practice with more challenging topics, like reality.

[21:19]

Reality is not really negative thoughts or positive thoughts. It's kind of a big girl. But we have plenty, you know, and so we may not be quite ready for that. So we're warming up to that by dealing with, for example, what's going on in our mind, which even that is quite challenging, right? So one of the things I wanted to talk about, which maybe you're ready for now, now that you're in touch with your aspiration. Are you in touch with your aspiration? Yes, I am. Okay, so one of the things I want to talk about is I was with some senior practitioners, people who have been practicing 30, 40 years, and we were talking about something about current events in this world we live in. And one of my friends said something like,

[22:29]

maybe sometimes it's good to speak of the faults of others. And maybe I said, yeah, maybe so. But for me, I almost never, it's very rare that I think it's good to speak of the faults of others, for me to do it. And I observed that there seems to be quite a bit of speaking of the faults of others going on. Because to some extent I feel like, hey, thanks guys. You're doing it for me so I don't have to do it. But I don't know if the way they're doing it is good.

[23:32]

That speaking of the faults of others by the Buddha is to speak of the faults in such a way as to promote unity and harmony in the community. Speaking of the faults of others in the Buddha way is not creating division in tribes If it does, we're not supposed to do it. We're not supposed to talk in a way that creates division. There's another joke. There's this basketball team that is called the Golden State Warriors. And they're amazing, the whole country, by their athletic performance and their spirit.

[24:47]

And it's like, if you praise them, if you speak of how good they are, it doesn't create much division. Everybody kind of goes, yeah. Especially boys. Aren't they great? Yeah. It's like any guy in the street will come up and say, go Warriors. Whatever age or size or color or whatever, you can make friends with everybody by praising those people. But criticizing them, I don't know if that meant... When is talking about somebody's faults create union and harmony? When does it make everybody want to take care of the person and be kind to the person? Well, that person's got a fault.

[25:48]

Let's all go help her. I agree. Let's go help that person, I suppose. And everybody agrees rather than, I'm not going to help her. That's stupid. You should hurt her. So there is a time maybe when talking about somebody's faults might create harmony and make more people care for that person and love that person more, give that person more compassion such talking about shortcomings might be appropriate. I don't see very many opportunities to talk about people's shortcomings. I do see opportunities at talking about people's good points. For example, I'm glad that people are not being more cruel to each other verbally

[26:54]

than they are. I'm glad people aren't being more disrespectful of each other than they are. Thanks for being not any more disrespectful than you are to that person. So I don't really feel I have to be talking about people's shortcomings. I feel like what I need to do is I need to remember my aspiration when people are saying really bad things about each other. So now we're at the phase where one political party is attacking itself and another political party is attacking itself. And later we'll have the political parties attacking each other. And people may say disrespectful things, talk about people's shortcomings, but are they doing it to create union, to create harmony?

[27:59]

I don't know if that's what they're doing. Are they successful? I don't know. And if I say something positive about somebody, I don't even know if that will create harmony. But I do try that occasionally, but I almost never see an opportunity to join in the slander. Slander is not what we mean by talking about somebody's faults in a way that increases harmony. Slander is a way of talking that splits, hurts the harmony. So I don't want to do that. I want to remember being respectful and being still with the appearance of language which is not respectful of any living being.

[29:00]

So somebody talks in a way that appears to be not respectful when somebody else speaks disrespectfully about the way they spoke disrespectfully, and on and on. So I'm not telling you not to talk about other people's shortcomings or faults. I'm just saying, I almost never can see how to do that in a beneficial way. If you can, okay. But I am concerned that people will hurt each other, that people are hurting each other, that people are scaring each other, that people are frightened of the language that's being used. I am concerned about that. But I want to be kind to my concern and kind to those who are concerning me.

[30:04]

That's my vow. My vow is to practice, to hear the true Dharma and to take care of it. In a world where people seem to be speaking in ways that are at risk anyway of creating division in the human and non-human community. So I see many furrowed brows and I would like to be still with all the furrowed brows. I would like to welcome all the furrowed brows. And I would like to ask you if you would like to also welcome the furrowed brows, which might be on your face.

[31:07]

Would you like to welcome your furrowed brow, if there happens to be one there? So I would like to welcome my furrowed brow. I think some people would like the furrowed brows to go away. And I would like to welcome the wish that the furrowed brows will go away. And I also would like to welcome the furrowed brows continually coming, if they do. I'm not trying to stop furrowed brows. If people are speaking disrespectful of other people, maybe every time they do that, brows will furrow. Brows will furrow. The ones who are speaking disrespectfully, they may actually have furrowed brows. I don't know. I haven't checked. Furrowed brows may continue to come. Can you keep bringing compassion to these concerns we have about the welfare of this country?

[32:16]

And since we are living in the most powerful country, the welfare of this country is the welfare of the whole world. So we're talking about issues of immense power and immense consequence. And we're talking about ways of talking about it that may not be helpful. And then ways of responding to that that may not be helpful. And then also ways of responding to the situation that might be helpful. What are the ways to respond to it that might be helpful? Probably these are our aspirations. We aspire to the ways of responding to this crisis, to these crises, in ways that might be helpful. Maybe, I don't know, maybe none of us aspire to speak disrespectfully of anybody.

[33:23]

Maybe all of us wish to confess and repent if we speak disrespectfully of anybody. Maybe we share that aspiration and share the aspiration to confess and repent if we fail at it. Do we? And probably most of us can find some memory of where we did speak disrespectfully of somebody. There are many other things I would like to discuss with you, but I feel that it may be that what I've already brought up is a big issue that many of you are concerned about, the issue of the political situation of our country.

[35:17]

It may be that it's such a big issue and that we are so challenged to continue our practice of compassion towards everybody? Compassion towards everybody? It may be somewhat challenging, right? Compassion towards somebody who talks like that? Trusting that compassion will be beneficial in the face of that? No, I do believe in it, but I get distracted.

[36:23]

When that happens, I get distracted. I forget. I forget. I don't refuse to be compassionate to this person. I just forget about it. I just forget about it and do something else to this person or those people. So anyway, this is a big issue. And the other things I talked about maybe can wait a little while. Yes? Yes? I wanted to ask about the difference between speaking disrespectfully and speaking some kind of truth. Okay, so let's say somebody is... Let's say my friend... How about me? So I've been drinking alcohol, and I drank quite a bit. And now somebody said, would you give me a ride to Mill Valley?

[37:31]

And I say, actually, you know, I'm not really in a good condition to drive right now. I think I would not be a competent, safe driver right now. In other words, I'm pointing out my own shortcomings, OK? I'm pointing you to a fault in myself as a driver. And the way I just said it then, I didn't feel like I was being disrespectful of myself. Did I seem like I was being disrespectful? I felt like I was... Yeah, I was just like... And I'm glad that I'm not so intoxicated that I can't even notice that I'm not capable of driving well. So I'm happy that I noticed that. That is a good thing about me, that I'm not going to drive you. I'll get somebody else to drive me. But I saw my shortcomings, and maybe I didn't create division in myself at that time.

[38:41]

What if somebody else is drinking, and they're about to drive a car? How can I say, friend, I have a request to make of you. May I make a request and say, yes, would you please give me those car keys and let me drive instead of you? Can I say that? I think it's possible to respectfully ask them to give you the keys and to say, I don't want you to drive because you've been drinking. You're pointing out a shortcoming in their driving ability and you can do it respectfully. And also, I say it in such a way that other people who might be hearing me also feel my respect for this person and don't care less for this person because of me asking to drive for them. In fact, they, if possible, even care more for the person and want to protect that person just in their walking.

[39:43]

And also to talk to this person maybe about maybe they've got a problem to get that intoxicated. So to bring, not just that I care for this person's welfare, and I see a shortcoming in them, in their ability to drive, but the way I talk to them makes other people feel like I value that person, and this is a valuable person who's got a problem, and we want to help that person. So this is an example of speaking of a shortcoming in a way that promotes compassion. that shows it and promotes it. That's what I would like to do. Would you please give me the keys, Jenny? Why? You're fine? You got it? You got what?

[40:48]

You got to drive anything? No. I can drive. I can drive. Fine. Well, I'm not saying you can't drive. I'm just saying, would you let me drive? Please. No? It's my car. It's your car. Could I use my car to drive you home? Well, then I wouldn't have my car. Yeah, but just as a favor to me. We can keep going with this. We can keep going with this. That's the point. The point is to keep going. That's the point. It's not that I get control of you. That's not respectful. It's not like I say, give you my keys, and everybody, okay, hand over your keys, guys. And everybody gives me their keys. It's that I see a shortcoming. I respect the person, and I talk to them in a way that they don't... It's possible you won't even talk... I could talk to you about this in a way that you won't even... It won't be an issue if you're not going to give me my keys.

[42:00]

It won't be an issue that they're going to punch me in the nose. Forget about the keys. You feel, no, but at the beginning, at the beginning you may feel I talk to you in a disrespectful way. It's not even an issue of driving the car, it's that you feel me talking down to you. So immediately there's division, right off the bat. But it's possible that I could speak to you in a way and you feel like, you know, he really cares for me. But I want to drive. People who you feel they really care for you, they ask for something from you and you don't want to give it. But you really feel they respect you and they care for you. And even if they would say something like, I think you're not in good shape to drive right now. You're too tired or you had too much to drink or you're too sick. The person might be able to bring the topic up in ways to feel, well, we're talking about it respectfully, but I don't want to do it.

[43:05]

It's not that everybody who talks in a respectful way, I'm under their control. I still have my agendas. That conversation went on and a third person said, you know, the people on the road are at risk. Yeah. And so... We have to take some action because this person is, like, intoxicated or narcissistic or something that is making it dangerous for the community. You can bring in a third person. We don't need a third person. Okay, okay. I'm many people. The point I'm trying to make, I should say, is start with respect. A key ingredient in respect is you're not trying to control the person. So if I ask someone, could I drive?

[44:10]

I don't think you're in good shape to drive for whatever reason. In other words, I... I'm criticizing your ability to drive, and you feel that I respect you. And feeling respected includes that you don't feel like I'm trying to control you. And you might test my... whether I'm trying to control you by disagreeing with me, just to check out to see if I'm trying to control you. And so it goes on. It goes on and on. But you look kind of like we're out of touch, but I don't know if we are. Yeah, we are. We've been noticing that. I guess I can see situations where what you said to someone, respectfully, out of respect, can be taken as you're trying to control them.

[45:14]

Yep. So that can still engender that sort of response. Did you hear that? So part of being respectful to people, when you speak to them, part of being respectful is don't try to control them into anything, including don't try to control them into not thinking that you're trying to control them. Because almost any suggestion you make to people, they could say to you, you're being so controlling. You may feel real respect for the person, and you may feel like, there's no way I can control this person. I'm just making a suggestion. I'm just giving a gift. You can give people a piece of biscuit, and they can say, you're so controlling. Anything I do with anybody, they could feel like I'm trying to control them.

[46:15]

And part of respecting people is being open to them thinking I'm trying to control them. A lot of people have thought that I was trying to control them in my life. I need to look at myself. If I am really ready to give up control, that includes people thinking that I'm trying to control them. and in fact I'm not in control of anybody and some people do think I'm trying to control them but do I think I'm trying to control them and this comes back to reality this has come back to talking to people about shortcomings and finding a way to do that where you're not talking to them where you actually are looking to see if you're trying to control them you're checking yourself out. And you can also ask them what they think, because sometimes you might not feel like you're trying to control them.

[47:16]

And then I say, I think you are. And then you might realize, you're right. And now I see it. And one of the ways to find out if you're trying to control somebody is to make a suggestion, and then when they don't do what you suggested, to see if you're comfortable with that, and to see if you're ready to go on forever with this conversation that you're constantly trying to give up control of, and which you never get control of, and you feel more and more enthusiastic as you move forward into the uncontrolled territory. And when do you start to say, that's enough of this, and then pull back the reins to try to get control again? It may be the case that you would suggest to someone that they do something. And you're not trying to control them. You really have arrived at that level of enlightenment that you relate to people as acts of generosity without trying to control them.

[48:23]

That may happen someday. And then they may do what you suggested they not do. And they go ahead and do it. And it may be very unfortunate what happens. And then, here's the story. In the midst of doing it and or the consequences, they remember the light that was transmitted to them from the stillness of not trying to control them. And they wake up. It's too bad that they had to crash the car to wake up. But the transmission was the transmission of, I respect you. and I have a concern about your ability to drive, and I'm not trying to control you, I'm just giving you a gift. I don't expect you to not drive. I don't expect anything. I'm just giving you gifts. And I'm going to keep giving you gifts because you keep giving me gifts. And one of the gifts you give me is to do something other than what I suggested.

[49:24]

And I really feel that way. You can feel that I feel that way. You can feel that I will never abandon you No matter how long you disregard my suggestions, I will just keep giving them to you and receiving them from you. That's the light. That's the Dharma that I want to hear and transmit. But it comes down to, in some cases, seeing a shortcoming and feeling like it would be helpful to mention it. Because, you know, you don't know the person knows that they are not in good shape to drive. So you give them that gift. Because you think it might be helpful. And maybe it helps in the form of them giving you the key. And maybe it helps in the form of them waking up after they did not accept it to what was given to them. You weren't just giving advice about driving. You were giving the dharma.

[50:26]

OK, so there were a bunch of other hands. Charlie, and Karina, and Carrie, and Justin. Yes. So in that kind of conversation, something that happens at one point is that I start to think that my view of the situation is better than yours. Yeah, that's disrespectful. Yeah. Yeah, so that, so if you think, so that's, see, that's my situation is when can I, when can I see a shortcoming? and not think I'm better than the other person. It's possible. But if I see you have a shortcoming, like if I think you're not a capable driver right now, because you don't have a driver's license, you're 12 years old, you're sick, you're drunk, I think you're not a good driver. I think that. I can think that without thinking I'm better than you. Or I can think that and think I'm better than you. If I think I'm better than you, The joke is, do I ever think I'm better than anyone?

[51:37]

If I think I'm better than you, then my advice to myself is, don't say anything to people. When you think you're better than somebody, don't talk to that person. Except tell them that you're ashamed of yourself. Because you just had this terrible thought that you were better than them. You might tell them that. But don't give them any advice if you think you're better than them. Generally speaking, don't. If you see someone with a shortcoming and you think you're better than that shortcoming, I would say, look on yourself quickly, if possible. Because you are a dangerous person now. And if you're walking around thinking you're better than somebody, this is a risky situation. You can hurt people a lot by just that thought. And then so words come out of it. So you check out, do I think I'm better than this person who's drinking? Some people here are in recovery from alcoholism.

[52:41]

I don't know if those people who are in recovery, you can tell me yourself later, I don't know if you think you're better than the people who are still drinking. I would guess you don't. I would guess you feel like you're on a par with them. I would guess. I am an alcoholic. I used to be drinking. Now I'm not. But the people who are drinking, I'm not better than them. It's just that I'm not drinking and I want to help them not. It's not that I'm better than this person who's drinking. But maybe I can drive. But I'm not better. And if I think I am, then maybe I'm going to say, guess what? I have something to tell you. I just discovered that I'm really in bad shape. Would you come and help me? I think I'm better than you. Please help me. Then the whole driving thing might just evaporate. It might be like this person, you know, I'll help you.

[53:42]

Do you think you're better than me? Even a drunk can understand that that's ridiculous. Somebody thinks they're better than me. Yeah, so respect means you don't think you can control people. You don't think you're better than them. You don't think you're worse than them. But you can still see that somebody is too young to drive or whatever. Yes? I think you've answered it. Yes? The thing that's troubling for me, though, is I might actually make a decision. Were I to let this person drive, they might actually kill somebody else. So I might think to myself, there's no way in hell that person can drive. You might think, there's no way in hell this person can drive. You might think that thought. And I'm not going to let this ride.

[54:45]

Such thoughts can arise in your mind. Well, so far it's just a thought. The thought is, they're not going to drive. I'm going to stop them from driving. That's the thought. Now, as soon as possible, let's bring compassion to that thought. Let's be still with that thought. That's a thought. That's calling for compassion. Is there compassion responding to it? If you have a thought like, yes, go ahead and drive, or if you have a thought, you cannot drive, either one of those thoughts, I'm saying, we have thoughts like this all day long. Yes, you can drive. No, you can't drive. I'm saying, those are thoughts. What's the practice? The practice is bring compassion to those thoughts. If I have a thought like, yes, you could drive, you're a capable driver, here's the keys. Okay? Did I just miss the chance to practice at that time?

[55:48]

Yes or no? Possibly yes. But if I had this thought like, oh, this is a good driver, and I remember stillness... Now I'm practicing my thinking, this person can drive. The same way this person cannot drive. The point is, our mind is generating these thoughts like, you cannot drive, there's no way in hell you can drive. Yes, you can drive. Thoughts like this are going on in our mind all the time. What I'm talking about is addressing those thoughts with compassion, with the practice. Not wait until your thoughts stop and then practicing, because the thoughts are coming. Judgments of people are coming. Judgments of people are being cruel to each other are arising in my mind. And I'm not criticizing those people right off. I'm trying to continue to be compassionate towards my thoughts of those people's cruelty towards each other or those people's shortcomings.

[56:55]

So in that interaction with the person for you, could you envision that they would actually drive? That might happen. They might drive, and they might get in an accident. And hurt someone else. And hurt someone else. That might happen. Yes. In fact, that happens a lot. People are driving and hurting each other. I'm not in control of the universe, and neither is Buddha. What's Buddha doing with all this? all this tragedy. Buddha's transmitting the Dharma. Yes. I'd just like to put out the possibility that it might be possible to be respectful and compassionate and have stillness and take the keys. Yeah. And risk the anger and the person might or might not thank you the next morning. But that could be a reasonable practice. You might take the keys from a compassionate place, from a non-maniculating place.

[57:56]

from a non-controlling bliss. And keep that sense of total devotion and connection to the person. And keep the total devotion and connection to the person. And the person might get angry at you, pull the keys from your hand, get in the car and go drive and kill themselves. Because you're not in control. You reach for the keys and you take them, but then they just take them back from you, because you're not in control. And it's not because you're weaker, Maybe it is. Maybe they're stronger than you, so you just take them back. And also, you might be able to maintain all the things you said while they take the keys back. And then you might take them back from them again. But you're taking them not to control. The taking is coming from giving up control. You can give up control and still move your arms. My arms are not being moved. I'm not in control of these arms. I'm not trying to control these arms. I'm not trying to keep them moving. Now they're not moving.

[58:59]

I said they're not moving, and this hand moved. I'm not in control of these hands. The way they move, I'm not in control of. They can reach out and take keys and swallow them. I'm not in control. And since I'm not in control, I remind myself of that because I need to train myself into the reality that I'm not in control. and not being in control, it's possible that I would take the keys and throw them in the lake. So there'd be no more struggling over the keys. I would just have to maybe be non-controlling with what the person does in response to that. Actions will arise when we try to control, actions arise. When we give up trying to control, actions arise. Either way, actions arise.

[60:01]

But trying to control ourselves or others is a kind of V.I.O. L-E-N-C-E. It is a kind of disrespect. It is a kind of degrading of life. And if people are trying to control, trying to control them to stop controlling is the same thing. So we have this situation of our world, and giving up trying to control goes along with respecting people.

[61:05]

I don't know who's first, but I'll call on you. So let me check this. So I have tried and continue to try to give up attempts to control and somewhat in place of that and not always, not in the same way, but when I have that urge instead I consider trying to influence. situation without, with zero expectation that I'm in control of it, but with acknowledgement that my actions have an effect and that whatever action I take, or non-action, will have some influence on the situation I'm involved in. And so if I feel the urge to control somebody or something, instead I consider What will be the influence of my action?

[62:06]

Does that sound harmonious to you? That does, well, the awareness that everything you do has consequence sounds harmonious with respecting the situation. And, yeah, so I'm talking to you now. My words can be offered to you as gifts. My words have consequence and I can also be somewhat aware simultaneously whether I'm speaking to you in a way to control you. Do I want to influence you? Do I want my words to be conducive to and contribute to your peace and happiness? I do want that. Do I want to influence your peace and happiness? I guess I do want to contribute to it.

[63:08]

Is it influencing it? I guess I could say, okay, influencing it. Am I controlling your peace and happiness? Certainly not. If I could control peace and happiness, Then I would just go ahead and do it and it would happen. But I cannot. What I can do is I can show, I can express my wish to promote peace and happiness and show that, and to show how I respond to people who tell me that they're not at peace and not happy. So as I said, that's where I started. People come and say, I'm not at peace. I'm not happy. I'm afflicted. And, okay, then we go, what's most important? And then we go there, and we come from there back to deal with the affliction. But I can't control them to do the practice which they actually believe will be helpful, a helpful way to address the affliction.

[64:13]

I cannot control them. However, in the conversation sometimes, although I'm not in control of them, sometimes they do start doing the practice. They do remember what their aspiration is. They feel energy for it. They start to practice it right there. And we both know, or we all know, and they sometimes even mention, what am I going to do when I walk out of the room? And I say, I don't know. But I'm inspired to do the practice talking to you, and you seem to be inspired to do the practice talking to me. So I started this part of the conversation because a friend of mine said, maybe sometimes it's good to speak of other people's faults. I'm open to that possibility, but when I talked about it, we ran into quite a bit of problems, like I think you're not good at driving right now.

[65:16]

How do you bring that up in a helpful way? It could be quite difficult. Is it possible? Sometimes it is. How is it possible? Practice makes it possible. Yes, and yes, and yes. Yes? I would like you to Okay, so you'd like me to talk about distrust and disrespect and the relationship there. More of a distrust. What to do with distrust. Distrust. So, and did you have your hand raised, Walker?

[66:18]

And you had your hand raised? And somebody up there had your hand raised? And you had your hand raised? So, I feel like... Can you remember what you want to talk about? Can you remember what you want to talk about? Who else was there? Johnny, can you remember? You have to leave? Where are you going? I thought I missed his flight. When are you leaving? Fork? Well, since she's leaving at 4, can I call on her and the other people I'll address in the next session, okay? Yeah. Do you remember all your questions? I assume that the other questions are as good as homeless. Yes, Tracy. Thank you. I appreciate the whole conversation. I appreciate the, particularly in terms of the personal, Because most of what you've been talking about today is a one-on-one situation.

[67:24]

And yet you started the conversation about political. And what comes up for me is, is it possible to have compassion for someone and not respect them, particularly someone with any power? None. Well, I shouldn't say it's impossible. I can. For me, compassion totally embraces respect. Can you respect some... Yeah, totally embraces respect. Compassion does not mean you like what the person's doing. If somebody's being cruel, you don't like it, can you respect it? Can you respect a disease? Can you respect a disease? I stretched the word respect to a funny definition. Some people devote their whole life to studying a disease. It's like the main thing they're interested in, in their life.

[68:25]

They put all their energy into studying this disease, to looking at it, respect, looking at it, respecting it, respecting it. They think this is really an important thing. They devote their life to helping people deal with this disease. It's respect. It's compassion. Can you respect cruelty? Who can untie the bell strings from the tiger's neck? Who? You don't know the answer? The one who tied them. The tiger didn't put the bell strings on. Somebody tied those bell strings. The person who tied them on can untie them. The person who respects cruelty can liberate beings from cruelty. The people who disrespect cruelty are being somewhat cruel. And the cruelty grows on disrespect.

[69:26]

If you're feeling cruel and people disrespect you, you feel more cruel. Not less cruel, you feel more cruel. You feel even justified. But if somebody comes up to you and relates to you with respect and kindness, it sometimes evaporates the cruelty like that. Like that story I tell about the big guy who got on the trolley, you know, and was threatening everybody on the trolley. And my friend was on the trolley with him, sitting in the back. My friend's a martial artist, and he said, when that guy gets here, I'm going to show him. But he was scaring everybody on the trolley. He hadn't yet attacked anybody, but he was on the verge. He was being cruel to everybody without hitting them. And any moment he was going to hit somebody. Charlie stopped and an old man got on and said, what's the matter, sweetheart? The old man didn't respect his cruelty, didn't disrespect him. He respected him.

[70:29]

He saw his suffering and he gave him love and ended the suffering. Cruelty can be ended with compassion. That's the theory. That's what brings peace, is compassion, not cruelty and disrespect for choice cruelty. These conversations which I'm seeing and hearing, people are being disrespectful to each other and cruel to each other, and other people are being cruel back. And the question is, will the people see that the people who are less cruel in response to the cruelty, that they're the best bet? to the people who are least degrading of other people. We would elect leaders who do not degrade people and stand up to them without degrading. What we're afraid of is that the most degrading person will be chosen as a leader. And we've seen examples of the most degrading people tapping into the hatred of the population.

[71:37]

And the most degrading, the champions of degrading and disrespect becomes a leader. We're afraid of that, aren't we? I'm saying, can we be compassionate towards a degrading species? Children, little darling little children sometimes speak degradingly. You ever see them? Does speaking degrading to them help them get over that? No. It just shows them how to do it again in more adult fashion, which they can use later. For now, who can be kind to the child who's being degrading to his parents, to his grandparents, to his brothers and sisters? Who can teach him compassion? Will they learn like that? Probably not. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they immediately wake up when someone shows them compassion and respect.

[72:42]

So, if you can wait for your other questions until the next session. And between now and then... Check out what you really want in life and get some energy from that, and then we'll come and play with that this afternoon. Some more. Yes. Are we going to have a work period? I don't think we're going to have a work period. I think it's a little too windy and wet. I just wanted to complain. Yeah, I think... Is that okay? You don't have a work period? Mm-hmm. Charlie, can you accept that? By the way, if you would like to have a look period, and you do some work, you can do it. As long as you're not, you know, dropping cement on people's heads while they're sitting. They are intentional.

[73:49]

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