This course, in a sense, has two titles. One is Zen Meditation. The other is Seeds and Fruits of True Awakening. I was thinking about seeds and fruit and also that between the seed and the fruit there are other things going on. If you use the image of a fruiting organism that has seeds and fruits, sometimes human beings are spoken of in these terms, but also fruiting plants are also described in this way. So you have, in a sense there's the seed, then there's like the sprout or the stem, and then there's the flower, and then there's the fruit.

[01:18]

And between the flower and the fruit, there's something going on too. something similar is going on between the flower and the fruit that's going on between when there's a stem before there's a before there's a flower there's a stem and a seed so the seed and the stem are there and then there's a flower and after there's a flower there's still seed in the stem and after there's a flower there's still a seed in the stem so between the flower and the fruit the stem is still working and the stem has roots. So seed gives root. Actually, maybe I should say there's seed and then there's often roots and stem. And then there's flower, and then there's seed, roots, stem, and flower, taking the flower from being a flower to being a fruit. Now, if we're talking about the seeds and fruits of enlightenment, of true enlightenment, then that's this course.

[02:39]

So this course, I will talk to you about the seeds, the stem, the flower, after the flower and the fruit. of true enlightenment. So I might propose that the seed of true enlightenment is, well, the seed of true enlightenment, it's somewhat circular, the seed of true enlightenment, maybe not. The seed of true enlightenment is an aspiration. It's the aspiration, it's the wish, the big wish to attain true enlightenment. But it's not just the wish to attain true enlightenment.

[03:42]

The seed of true enlightenment isn't just the wish to attain true enlightenment. It's the wish to attain the fruit of true enlightenment. which includes the true enlightenment. So it's the wish, the fruit of true enlightenment is sometimes called Buddhahood. And Buddhahood is the situation of the optimal benefit for all living beings. It is the process of living beings who are usually in a wide range of suffering. It's the process of them becoming highly encouraged to practice and achieving the practice and becoming free and then living the joyful life of helping others.

[04:44]

That's the process, that's the fruit of the aspiration. So again, the seed, I'm proposing the seed of true enlightenment is the aspiration to realize it and to realize its fruit, which is to realize the welfare of all beings, to realize its fruit for or as the benefit of all beings. I'll go over this again and again, but for now I want to go back now to the seed. And the seed, I'm proposing that the seed of this process is an aspiration. So in a sense, this whole process from the seed to the fruit is a process of, it's an aspirational process.

[05:47]

And I think it's probably a good idea for me to invite you and invite myself to check out to see if by any chance the seed of true enlightenment which is also the seed of the fruit of true enlightenment, if by any chance you see anything like that in the neighborhood. Do you see an aspiration? Do you feel an aspiration? Do you sense an aspiration for Buddhahood? And to make it a little easier on you, you don't have to think of it as you becoming a Buddha, exactly.

[07:01]

You don't have to take it personally. You can just sort of think about whether you would like to donate your life to the welfare of all beings. But not just like a small donation, but donate yourself to the realization of that. donate yourself, donate your life, or not even donate your life, but whether you'd like to donate all life that you have to donate. And again, I take back all life you have. I guess, would you like to donate all life, whether you have it or not, and actually you don't have all life, so would you like to donate all life, including any that you have, to this project? So that's the project I'm talking about in this class, the project of finding that seed and then taking care of it so that it develops into this fruit.

[08:12]

So a basic... Proposal is that although this seed is, although this aspiration is necessary and it has the power to make the fruit, it can also be lost, can be misplaced. One can get out of touch with it. And even if one remembers it, which is great, even if one senses it and remembers it, the being who feels contact with this seed or with this aspiration needs to bring this aspiration into a training situation in order for it to be realized, in order for it to come to fruit. And this training process, I would say it's a yogic training process.

[09:30]

And this yogic training process comes to flower, I would say, as an entry into reality. It comes to flower. It blossoms it opens up onto reality. And it sees reality, demonstrates, it awakens to reality, this flower, this awakening. And then the yogic practice, which arises from this aspiration, continues with this awakening, with this, continues in this realm of reality which has been entered. Basically the same, you know, the same stem or stalk

[10:41]

which supports the flower, now takes the flower further into repeated openings into reality and getting the flower more and more ready to actually drop its petals, drop its bloom. In other words, let go of enlightenment and become the fruit. So an actual process there is the seed leading to yogic practices which blossom as entry into reality and then the continuation of the yogic practices in the context of reality. leading to repeated openings, repeated awakenings, leading to further yogic practice, leading to further awakenings, leading to further yogic practices, leading to further awakenings, leading to further yogic practices, until all signs of the flower of enlightenment have dropped away over and over.

[11:48]

So there's no sign The awakening is free of the signs of awakening and all there is is benefiting beings. So there's no Buddha in the end in addition to the benefit of beings. And the benefit of beings is that they enter this process that has just been described. One of the logical consequences and actual experiential consequences of what I just said is that when we first start practicing the care of this aspiration, we are doing so prior to entering reality. So we're dealing with this, we're caring for this aspiration with yogic practices, the nature of which we have not entered

[12:53]

So we're doing yogic practices without understanding them correctly. However they can, even though they're not correctly understood, even though we're practicing them not yet having entered into awakening, we can still care for this aspiration and bring it to flower. At which time we start to understand the practices we've been doing all along. And then we continue to do them, but with the correct understanding. Another way to put it is we do these practices in a somewhat impure way until we enter reality, and then we do the practices in a pure way. And by doing the practices in a pure way, we remove all signs of awakening and all signs of reality. And then reality and the practice become into complete accord as the fruit of this whole process. So that's an overview of the welfare and happiness of all beings and how the process gets initiated and realized.

[14:08]

I will talk later about where the seed comes from and various other topics but I just want to come back now in this class and just really emphasize the benefit of looking in your heart to see if by any chance there's an aspiration. And again, the word aspiration is usually the etymology of it is to breathe into or to breathe onto, to give spiritual life to. That's the etymology. The first definition, I think, is a big, a great, a vast wish. It's a wish, but it's a really big one. We don't usually use the word aspiration for little wishes. If you wish to go to the toilet, we usually don't say, I aspire to go to the toilet.

[15:10]

However, if you really have to go, you aspire to go. And some people who are constipated aspire, they really aspire. It's a big deal for them. It's almost a matter of life or death. So ordinary wishes, when they get really big, are not ordinary anymore. They become aspirations. So this is a big aspiration. This is an aspiration for welfare, for happiness, for everything, for everybody, for all living and non-living phenomena. Is there something like that in your heart? And if there's something not quite that but closely related to it, that can be cultivated and extended and extended and extended until it reaches that very extensive quality. Many people say, I have aspirations, but they're not that extensive. And then sometimes people say, well, would you like to learn to have such an extensive aspiration?

[16:15]

And then people often say, yeah, I would like to learn it. I don't have it yet, but I'd like to learn to have it. Again, I'm asking you to look. And I myself have looked for it in myself, and I've looked for it in others, and I ask people about it like I'm asking you. I ask people about it quite frequently, and they often say they don't know. And then I ask them again and they often say they don't know. And I tell them that I've noticed it takes people sometimes months to see anything much about it. But often in a few months people start to see something, which is not that long in a way. So please look. And then even if you find it, even if you found it tonight already, Still then, I say that if you do find such an aspiration, that to take care of it and to have it available so it can be trained, it needs to be cared for.

[17:28]

The training cares for it, and you have to care for it so it can be trained. So part of the training is to repeatedly repeatedly look for it, repeatedly ascertain it, repeatedly refresh it, repeatedly go back to it. And then when you get back to it, be with it, because this is where the energy for practice comes from, is this aspiration. This is the energy source for the practice. Sometimes if you check the aspiration and you look, you find some energy for practice. You find some energy for the yogic practices which protect and develop it. And then a little bit later you sense maybe your energy is waning.

[18:30]

At that point then it's really good to go back and check the aspiration and again find some energy to continue the practice to protect the aspiration. Yes? I read once about an ancient master... Could you speak up a little bit for the people in the back? I read an ancient master referred to the Sambhogakaya as the ever-present wish to benefit all beings. Does that make sense? Does that sound like what you're talking about? the ever-present wish to benefit beings, that is what I'm talking about. Whether you call it Sambhogakaya or not, that is what I'm talking about, yes. And if it would augment and enliven an aspiration to call it Sambhogakaya, I would accept that.

[19:43]

If it would augment and enliven it to call it something other things, I'd consider other names for it, too. So any comments on this, what I said so far? Yes? I feel a contact with the aspiration that you're talking about, but I don't feel much of a hurry. Did you say you don't feel much of a hurry? Yeah, I noticed there's a feeling of urgency to it, like I'm having to get 100 times return or something. So what would you say about that? How can one cultivate more sense of importance to the aspiration? Well, the aspiration is totally up for, you said to be a 100-time returner? Yeah, the aspiration is happy to do even more than a hundred returns in order to develop this great awakening for the benefit of all beings.

[20:52]

So I think that the bodhisattvas are not in a hurry and yet they feel urgency. So urgency without hurry. So how can you get that, you know, that, what do you call it, that very sharp feeling of a sprout coming up through the ground, very fresh, new feeling frequently during the day, that feeling of, oh my God, this is wonderful, this is alive, and then not be in a hurry. So when the sprout comes up, you know, you're not rushing it to be any taller than it is. Every inch of the way of this wonderful aspiration, you enjoy it where it is. You're not rushing it ahead of where it is. And you're happy if the sprout goes on as long as beings need this thing to grow. So you don't want to rush because rushing can cause us to get distracted from taking care of it.

[21:58]

Like it's so wonderful that you rush ahead and then where is it? Oh, I left it back there. So urgency in the sense of freshness and really like how wonderful to take care of this. This is really an urgent matter. Urge, you know, I think urge also comes from that feeling of, you know, ur, urge, ur, you know, up out of the ground kind of. I think that's where urge comes from. It's like very fresh. So checking the freshness of the aspiration is one of the techniques or one that's a language you can use as a kind of refreshing language. Am I still in touch with the urgency and freshness of this aspiration, of this wish? And also, part of taking care of it is to watch out and not, you know, really be present and not be rushing. Because you don't want to leave anybody behind, even people who are in a rush.

[23:03]

You don't want to leave them behind. They want to leave you behind maybe. But those who wish to pass you up and move on and not move so slowly, you don't want to leave them behind. But you do let them pass you. But they don't get past you. They just want to. And they're not behind you either. They're right there with you. Any other responses to this issue of aspiration? Yes. Well, I struggle all the time with the aspiration because it always strikes me that it's creating energy by creating tension. reflecting on the way things are now, that I'm not happy, but the benefit will be that I have this aspiration.

[24:13]

So there's a tension, and that's what moves me toward the aspiration, to try to resolve the tension I feel that comes out. And that's a wonderful thing, but I also feel like There's a sense of dissatisfaction underneath what is happening now because I want to resolve that tension, that I've fallen short of the aspiration. There's a dissatisfaction of being with how I am now, not meeting the aspiration. So in a way, I can bring the aspiration down to relieve the tension. That's usually the easiest way. If I try to hold the aspiration to work, I think it should be, it's a troublesome state. It's not a calm state. And that's the nature of the set sense. The tension is always there in pursuing inspiration. But how does one practice in that without becoming sort of in this dabble of dissatisfaction with how things are?

[25:23]

let me try this what I just heard you say was in a way what I heard you say was you were contemplating the karmic working of a mind and I feel that if you would continue to contemplate the karmic working of a mind like that an aspiration would arise. But the aspiration would not be like what you were observing. It would be the wish to understand, for example, the process you just described in such a way that would benefit all beings. Because I heard you describe a karmic process and part of the process was an awareness that in that process there's dissatisfaction.

[26:45]

There is, for example, there is some lack of appreciation of the current state. You could say a lack of compassion for the current situation. And there's an awareness that that lack of appreciation and compassion for the current state of dissatisfaction is dissatisfying. And you see, there's an awareness that that's the case. To then move on to say, I would like to get rid of this situation of not appreciating things because that situation is unsatisfying, that would be another example of the same type of karmic attitude. But as you watch this, it might come to you that there's a wish not to get rid of this at all, but to be kind to it.

[27:52]

But maybe not to be kind to it, but just that the wish to realize and understanding that which in that understanding doesn't say, let's get rid of this karmic stuff. It's more like I wish to awaken to a reality which I'm not noticing in this story I just told or the story I just observed. I would like to awaken to a reality which would benefit everybody who has a karmic consciousness like this. And there might be not the slightest taint in this aspiration of disrespect or lack of appreciation for the suffering and the causes of suffering which you're observing there. So in a way, I heard you observing suffering and the causes of suffering, but yeah, I did. But I didn't feel like I said, and wowzy doozy, I saw the truth of the suffering. And I saw the truth of the cause of the suffering. You didn't say that. he said, I saw dissatisfaction and I saw causes and conditions for it, and I saw that part of the causes and conditions for it were kind of like not really appreciating it very much, like not really appreciating dissatisfaction and the causes of it.

[29:15]

And part of the understanding If the aspiration to realize awakening for the welfare of others arose from this kind of contemplation, which I think it does, it's from that kind of situation that it arises. It arises from that kind of situation, but it also arises from observing that kind of situation. And I said earlier that I would probably mention where the seed comes from. but now I think it's a good time to mention. It comes from, for example, a person like you contemplating karmic cause and effect and noticing that it's, and kind of just noticing that it's unsatisfying the way it works, and maybe almost noticing that it's not going to work itself out, and that's kind of dissatisfying too. But in that work, something comes to meet you.

[30:21]

That work is kind of a request for somebody to show you something that would work. And that meeting with something that does understanding how this does work and which understands, which has realized that understanding how this works is freedom from it. And understanding how it works, this is really important. Understanding how this process you've just described works really comes to people who really are compassionate towards the process. And you might not know that right away. You might just wish to understand it and that the benefits of understanding would be available to everybody. That might arise right in the mind, right in the same karmic mind that's thinking certain ways and noticing that those ways of thinking are unsatisfactory. Still the wish to attain this great thing for all beings could arise in that state.

[31:26]

in that defiled situation, in that unsatisfactory situation. But that wish has nothing disrespectful to say about the situation. And again, the cultivation and protection of this wish involves learning yogic practices of being kind to that situation. Being kind to the unsatisfactory situation and being kind to the causes of it. Being kind to the causes of suffering. those are the yogic practices that follow the arising of the aspiration. So from the contemplation you told me so far, I did not see the aspiration. And I'm responding to you to show you the difference between the aspiration and just what you're looking at as you're contemplating your karmic consciousness. However, it turns out that contemplating karmic consciousness is part of what it I put it this way, it's part of what is necessary for you to be where you are, where you can meet what stimulates the thing to arise.

[32:36]

If you're not noticing your karmic consciousness, if that aspiration arose and you weren't noticing it, you would be someplace else from where it arises, because it arises in karmic consciousness at first. This great thought arises in a defiled karmic consciousness. it arises in a person who's thinking. And the thinking is not the aspiration, but the aspiration appears in the realm of thinking. And it is thinking. So when you're observing what you're observing, you're right in the right place to experience the arising of this aspiration. But this aspiration is not about being dissatisfied with the situation. It's not what it's about. It's not about getting better. It's about waking up to reality beyond a mind that thinks in terms of better and worse.

[33:40]

And not just waking up to it, but waking up to it for the welfare of all beings. Is that... You're welcome. Thank you. Thank you for your question. So what he was observing and working on is the kind of work we need to do. That's part of what we need to do to refresh our aspiration. The wish comes from noticing that's how things work when we don't practice. So if you have the aspiration, you need to practice compassion towards the situation you described. And when you notice the situation and you have the aspiration, then you check to see, am I doing the yogic practices which take care of the aspiration and treat the environment in which the aspiration arises with kindness? So you treat the aspiration with kindness, but you also treat the suffering in which the aspiration lives. another, excuse me, I forgot to mention another aspect of the image, that the seed, the seed appears or is placed in mud.

[34:57]

It lives in the karmic consciousness. That's where it lives. Forgot to mention that part. And the seed appears then when it germinates, it sends roots down into, it embraces unsatisfactory consciousness, all the unsatisfactory consciousnesses it can embrace. And that embrace of the unsatisfactory karmic consciousnesses gives rise to the sprout. And it stays grounded in that all the way through the process. Was there somebody else? Raise your hand. Yes. is it to wake you're part of it but it's usually recommended to emphasize others

[36:11]

Just be willing to forget about yourself, for starters, even though you are included in all beings, and even though you will be very happy as soon as you forget about yourself. Just give it a try. You know, don't make any deals like, well, do I get to do something out of this too? Just forget about that part. It, well, it's hard, yeah, it's hard, yes, it's hard to help other beings if you're entangled yourself, that's right. And the first part of the process, if you're actually in the process of helping other beings and you're starting to do the practices which will take care of that aspiration and bring you to enter reality, from that point until you enter in reality, it will be hard to help other beings because you're trying to help them without understanding how to help them. So you're right. It is hard to help other beings when you're entangled.

[37:14]

However, you can help other beings when you're entangled. No, you can help them when you're really not awake. You can be kind to your unawakeness, and for you to be kind to your unawakeness helps helps everybody. However, it's real hard for you to be kind to your unawakeness. Yeah, it's very hard. It's either a little hard or very hard. After you're awake, then it's easy to be kind after that. It's easy to help people because you actually understand how it works. So when you're entangled, before you understand, it is hard. But not only can you do it, not only can you help others before you understand reality, before you enter it, But you can progress towards entering it, see? And you can show other people who do not understand how they too, who do not understand, can practice prior to entering.

[38:19]

There is an effective practice prior to entering reality, fortunately. Otherwise, how would we enter? But it's hard. It's hard beforehand. If there is something, something happens that we just go to its place, I was sort of faced with, and made a decision to do something that seemed to people, and to myself, irrational. Without being in a position of being a suffering yet, but seeing that suffering becoming, if I sort of continue on that path. I decided to sell the house that I was happy with at that time. And I drove it, and I left where I went. Because I saw that ultimately this is leading me to take away my time and energy from practice, from doing what I fully wanted to do.

[39:29]

And I really didn't want to do it. But the other part that was stumbling away pushed myself to finish fixing it and sell it. And it's done, and I love it. And it's like the... I wasn't in a position of suffering yet, but I could see where it was getting me. In a year or two or three, and because of that, I knew I would be in the corner. And... It felt like it wasn't me who was doing that, there was this force, a working force that was pushing me despite my own existence. And things would be, when I was in that process, things would be working themselves out seemingly impossible.

[40:33]

There was something really much more stronger about the Angus Hall process that might draw me. I was guided to the topic. I get this very tough. Yeah, that's right. You can't explain. You can try, but you won't be able to. It told me how I think I made decisions that I like. Yeah, it's not really you and it's not really how you think you made the decision. Yeah. But you do think you make them some way, but that's not how you make them. That's just your story. Yeah. And when you're telling your story, I thought of the seed putting down roots in the soil and having a sprout. And the sprout comes up, but the sprout does not... The sprout has stories about how it's coming up And the sprout may have resistance to coming up.

[41:42]

It may have trouble coming up. You know, trouble with gravity, trouble with, you know, pushing out of where it used to be and so on, but it's being driven by the seed. which has put roots into the soil, and the soil and the roots are working together to force the sprout up, regardless of what the sprout thinks is going on. And sometimes the sprout thinks, oh, this is really good, and this is the reason why it's good, and sometimes the sprout says, this isn't too difficult. But sometimes the sprout says, what is going on? I don't understand this, but I feel I'm being forced to do this, and I feel something's right about this. And that's how sometimes you're doing things and you feel that they're right, even though there's a lot of resistance to it, because they're in accord with this aspiration. They're in accord with the seed. But it's kind of hard, because the flower hasn't come yet.

[42:47]

Some people may think flowers have a hard time. We can get into that later. Well, actually, I already did. I already told you about the flowers. Part of the flower thing is, you know, flowers are pretty cool things. But for a flower to really do its job, it has to fall away, which is, you know, flowers sometimes have difficulty. They sometimes, we might feel like they're having a hard time withering and falling away. But actually, this is what they have to do for the sake of the big program. Anything else at this time you care to say? Yes? I was just thinking when you kept talking about the sea, that there's other potential in the sea.

[43:56]

Yeah, there's all the potential in the seed, right. The seed has tremendous potential. This wish has tremendous potential. This wish has the potential to make Buddhahood in the world. That's the statement. It's amazing that a wish, a karmic wish, a wish that can take the form has this power. However, it needs a lot of help. It needs all these practices. And it also needs to, and it needs these practices so that the roots it sprouts can embrace karmic consciousness, can embrace suffering. So it actually, it has the potential, but the things that make it work are really kind of tough stuff in a way. It has the potential to use suffering to grow this enlightenment. It has that potential. And there's a proposal is that without this seed which has this potential, you don't get this amazing thing.

[44:58]

It has tremendous potential. And if you look at a seed, it's pretty wimpy. It needs a lot of help. I'm sorry, too. We're really good at it. Yes, we are. understanding themselves and that's a good job and I was applying that concept to myself because I once mentioned before here in one of the classes about my 98 year old friend who was very ill and I was helping her she died about a month ago at 98 it got very very complicated with her family and I was annoyed with her daughter and her daughter was annoyed with me. There was a lot going on.

[46:01]

I still can't sort out exactly what happened toward the end of her life and what role I played. I thought myself, going to her, sort of being drawn to go to her over and over again, especially when she was in the hospital. Unfortunately, she died in the hospital. But I also have a propensity to act compulsively and I wonder to what degree I was really doing a lot of things compulsively. I'm not saying for the wrong reason because It was good that I went there, but I wonder what the motive was. Wondering if we're acting compulsively, I think, and wondering if we're acting obsessively, I think is helpful to locate where to apply the yogic practices.

[47:10]

So now I'm wondering if I'm being compulsive. I'm wondering. So maybe I'm looking at what I'm saying right now. Or maybe I'm looking at myself walking towards the hospital. I'm walking towards the hospital wondering if I'm being compulsive. Compulsive about what? Well, walking to the hospital. That's what I'm doing now. And I'm wondering if I'm being obsessive. What am I being obsessive about? Maybe I'm obsessing about my friend in the hospital. I'm thinking about her. So I'm watching to see if I'm being compulsive or obsessive. And now I'm also going to practice these yogic practices with this karmic consciousness. I've got this karmic consciousness to take care of all the time, right? I mean, I, Vera, have this karmic consciousness to take care of.

[48:19]

And karmic consciousness can wonder about itself. Are you with me? More or less. Yeah. So, I hear you talking about your karmic consciousness and then I hear you saying that in your karmic consciousness you're wondering about whether there's some kind of unhealthy stuff going on in your karmic consciousness. Okay? I think my karmic consciousness thinks it's good to wonder if there's unhealthy things going on in karmic consciousness. Just to wonder that. Among, you know, it's one of the things you can check out. Now, while you're doing that, just look at the karmic consciousness you've got. which is like taking a walk or something, and bring the yogic practices of compassion to the carbon consciousness. Maybe the question about the compulsiveness goes away and you're thinking about something else like you're thinking about walking down the street.

[49:27]

And if you bring compassion to your mind which is thinking that you're walking down the street, Even if you are being compulsive, you are bringing the practices to bear on that compulsive walking down the street such that this will develop towards entering into reality. And you might enter reality before you actually get to the hospital. And you might continue to care for your karmic consciousness as you enter the hospital, and continue to enter reality the same along with entering the hospital. So I'm just saying, your wandering sounds fine to me, and your wandering deserves the same care as your walking does. Everything you're doing is the mind

[50:30]

is the ground in which the seed of realizing the welfare of beings will plant roots. And then everything you're doing is the ground in which this aspiration will plant roots. And then all these practices of compassion applied to the situation will make the sprout come up. Yeah, and in other words, it's the reality of almost everything that we're aware of, because we're basically aware of our karmic consciousness. It's the reality of walking and talking, and walking and talking as karmic acts are motivated by our thinking about walking and talking.

[51:37]

So by caring for karmic consciousness, by wishing to realize entry into reality in order to benefit all beings, and doing the practices which bring that wish to fruition as entry, we understand the thing we've been taking care of all along. So another bumper sticker for you is, by caring for the unreal, you enter reality. By caring for the untrue, you enter the truth. The unreal is our karmic consciousness, which if we look at it like John did, we think, this is an unsatisfactory situation. And I wish that there was understanding of reality so that all beings with karmic consciousness would be highly benefited and liberated. That's a karmic thought, but it's a wish to understand rather than any kind of disparagement of this painful situation.

[52:47]

And the principle here is by practicing yogic engagement with our karmic consciousness, putting down the roots in karmic consciousness by yogic practices, and then being kind to them, the sprout comes up. Engaging them and being kind to them. So again, these practices of engagement are practices to engage the untrue, the unsatisfactory. which gives rise to a sprout, which is getting ready to support a flower. Yes? I have a little story about before I came here that was quite unsatisfactory. Yes? You want to tell a story about unsatisfactoriness? Yes. OK. that I'm reading a book and I was reading

[53:55]

And there was a scene in the book about a couple and a conflict that takes place. And the writer was going inside of each person's head what was going on. And I was thinking about, oh, this is so interesting, because it's like the view of how things can go really wrong in an interaction. And it struck me as just very wise. I got to see the reality of what was happening between these people. And then I got home and just had a really bad interaction with my daughter. and by extension with my husband, I just felt very caught up in this kind of resentment feeling, and I felt trapped in it. And I guess the reason it brings it up is, when you're in something like that, how do you exercise compassion towards yourself?

[55:05]

I just felt completely, I just wanted to leave. It is possible to do something beneficial in a situation like that, even if you do not have this aspiration. Okay? But if you do have this aspiration, it is also possible to do something beneficial in a situation like you described. And your situation described sounded pretty similar to what John described. What Vera described sounds pretty similar.

[56:05]

But anyway, With or without the aspiration, you can practice compassion towards a situation where you feel like you want to get out of the situation, where you'd like to be somewhere else. And John was noticing that to want to be somewhere else is also unsatisfactory. Because you sort of, you do not actually, some part of you does not want to be somewhere else from your daughter. I mean, especially you don't want to be somewhere else from your daughter when you're having problems with your daughter. You want to be there when you're having a problem with your daughter and you also want to not be there when you're having a problem with your daughter. In other words, there's contradictions and conflicts and nonsense and it's very unsatisfactory. And of course, we all know that nobody has to teach us to want to get out of that. How can you be compassionate in a situation like that? Well, the way you can do it is by being compassionate, of course.

[57:06]

And how can you be compassionate? By actually saying thank you very much and meaning it. Now, you can say thank you very much to a situation like people have described here. You can say thank you very much and not mean it. That's easy to do, right? If you have this aspiration... you know that you need to be training yourself at saying thank you very much all the time. So you do, maybe, because you have this aspiration. So then when you hit a situation like this, where you really can hardly imagine, like people, how could I say thank you very much to a situation like where I'm feeling resentment towards somebody who I don't really feel it's appropriate to feel resentment towards? How could I say thank you very much? Well, if you don't say thank you very much, that's not how you say it.

[58:09]

To keep your mouth shut is not how you say it. You say it like this. Thank you very much. That's how you say it. Is it hard to say it before you enter reality? Yes. Yes. Is it hard to say it when you have inter-reality? No. It's easy. Matter of fact, it comes naturally. You say it, keep surprising yourself, the situations you can say it in. If you aspire to this, great thing for everybody, including your daughter and husband and yourself, if you aspire to this, then you need to know you're going to have to do some practices in order for that aspiration to stay alive. And you're also going to have to do some practices in order to be able to just be in your life. And one of them is to say thank you very much when you're in a situation where you already have said, I want to get out of here. So you actually, before you even said thank you very much, you said, I want to get out of here.

[59:15]

So now you say thank you very much. If before you said, I want to get out of here, you said, thank you very much, then that would have been, you could have done it then. But sometimes you really have to bang your head up against the wall really hard before you say, thank you very much. When you hit it kind of like that, nah, nah, nah, okay, thank you very much. And then maybe the first time you say it, that wasn't sincere, and you hit it harder, or it hits you harder. I think I told you the story about this. This is a very popular book written by a Bay Area person. It's called The Kite Runner. Did you read it? So my favorite part of the book is where the kite runner, actually, he's not the kite runner. His dearest friend's the kite runner. This young man who flies kites, and he has this beloved brother who runs the kite down for him.

[60:17]

This guy is being beaten to death And he doesn't really get into it, but you can feel a little bit that he kind of wishes he wasn't there. He is being beaten to death by a monster that he didn't stand up to many years before. He's being beaten to death by a person who he let that person harm his best friend and didn't stand up for his best friend and let this monster attack his friend. And he was such a coward. as to not protect his friend from this guy. And now this guy's beating him to death. And what does he do, ladies and gentlemen, when he's being beaten to death? What does he do? Remember? He starts laughing. And why is he laughing? Because this is what he's been wanting all these years. He wanted some punishment for his cruelty to his friend. And now he's getting it. And he sees it, and he's laughing.

[61:20]

And of course, when he starts laughing, the guy starts beating him up, because the beating up has done his job. It has got him to realize to say thank you very much. And when he says thank you very, very much, that's enough of that. How bad does it have to get before you say thank you very much? Well, pretty bad. Didn't get quite that bad tonight. And that's fine with me. But you came to class. And in class, I tell you to say thank you very much. When it gets right up against the wall, when your daughter's just about killing you, because she knows how to get to you, and she's going to get better at it. She's learning. She's learning. There's a possibility. She thinks it's possible she's going to get control of you finally. Because you've got other things to take care of, but all she's got to do is get you under control. And she thinks it's possible, and she's going to try, and she's going to get better and better. It's going to get harder and harder.

[62:21]

You might as well start now saying, thank you very much. And then every time you do, the roots are going to go on deeper in the soil. And the stalk's going to get stronger. And she's going to come at it again and give you more fruit, more fuel to put your roots of compassion down to say thank you very much. And after you say thank you very much to these monsters, then you be careful of them. Because this is dangerous. And you be careful. And then you be patient. And you do that in situations where you can, how could I possibly say thank you? Well, just say thank you. Or how can I say welcome? Well, say welcome. Just in your heart say welcome. You know, say it out loud, you know, might provoke something. But in your heart say welcome until you mean it, until you actually go from welcome, whoa, that was a real one. I meant it. I was really grateful.

[63:23]

And yeah, I was actually practicing generosity towards the monster. So the guy's teaching you, study your karmic consciousness, because that's the place where you're going to do these practices. You have to be watching it to see where to be kind. You were watching it, but you somehow So you need this aspiration because this aspiration is fueling these amazing practices because these practices aren't just good. They're not just good. They're going to save the world. They're going to save your daughter and your husband and all of us. They're going to do some really great thing. They're going to cause entry into reality. And then all these practices which you're doing now with difficulty are going to get easy. And when they get easy, you're going to really be able to do them better and better. And that's going to be greater and greater. But you have to take care of it. And when you forget, it's kind of like back to zero again. But then you go back and your aspiration comes up again. You start all over.

[64:25]

And also be kind to yourself when you get to the place where you say, that's enough. I want to be out of here. Forget patience. Forget generosity. I'm done. I don't want to practice anymore. Then say thank you very much to that. and say, welcome to my practice having a total flat tire. And I'm not practicing at all. I can't remember my aspiration or anything. I'm just totally flattened. And then if you're there and watch it, you'll be there again. And then somebody can come and meet you. And in that meeting, the seed will come up again. Mike. When you said a few minutes ago that yogic practice of compassion.

[65:29]

Yeah. What is yogic? Yogic means What does it mean? It means it's a yoga practice of becoming intimate with some kind of practice. So for example, the yogic practice of compassion means the yogic practice of thank you very much. That you actually learn to do that in a concentrated way, you learn to do that and never move from that, to be yoked to that, to be united with that, to never, ever forget. You train until you never forget to say, welcome to your life. And when you start to do that practice before you enter reality, which this practice will take you to, you have a hard time. Sometimes things aren't too hard, but then you don't think you have to do the practice. Things are easy, so I don't have to welcome them. I don't have to be generous when things are nice.

[66:31]

Matter of fact, I can hold on to nice stuff. And bad stuff, I'm not going to hold on to. Matter of fact, I'm going to get rid of them. If you aspire to, if you have this aspiration, you aspire to welcome all beings, which means you welcome all your states, which means you say thank you to everybody and everything. That's what you're aspiring to, to be able to do that. So then you do the yogic practices. When you're first starting to be a yogi, you forget your yoga a lot. Your yoga isn't really yoga yet. Is one definition of yoga to stop the movements of the mind? Is that one definition? Yeah. So one definition of yoga is that your mind doesn't move. You just stay there with these practices. So the yogic in this sense, you want to always be welcoming. You want to always be careful. You want to be always patient. So you're working these practices until you're present with these ways of being.

[67:35]

And being present in these ways of being are ways for you to engage your karmic consciousness to give right to the sprout which enters enlightenment. In that sense they're yogic practices. This path is sometimes called the yogacara, which means the path of yoga, in this system, this teaching, this bodhisattva teaching, this teaching of this aspiration, is how to yogically practice with these things so that they grow into entry into enlightenment and then And then continue these yogic practices, which will be easier to remember when you enter reality, because reality will keep reminding you to do them. Because reality says, this is a gift, this is a gift, this is a gift, this is something to be careful of, this is a precious thing. Please be careful of this. This is for you to take care of it. This is for you to be patient with, and this is for you to be calm with. Reality tells you that. Before reality tells you that, you've got to remind yourself, so it's harder.

[68:38]

So now most of us are spending quite a bit of time slightly dislocated from reality, having a hard time being compassionate to whatever happens, right? But that's fine. That's something to be compassionate to. How lowly we are is a great thing to be kind to. Yeah. I didn't quite catch the answer, because it seemed like you defined yogic using the word yogic or yoga. Could you just clarify what does yogic mean? Well, it doesn't have the root to be yoked to. Yoked? Yeah. Okay. You're yoked to. You're yoked to, and so you're not moving from something. It's a practice you're yoked to, that you're concentrated on. These are things you're trying to learn to be intimate with. They're not just things you listen to, they're things you like try to be yoked to. So these are yoga compassion practices which you're trying to become united with.

[69:47]

No matter what's happening, because compassion practices with whatever, right? Even, it's hard to practice compassion with happiness, except, actually you can practice it with worldly happiness, but you don't have to practice compassion with enlightenment. But with all kinds of, anything less than enlightenment is an object of compassion. Next week, we have a little vacation from this class. But we do not have a vacation from looking for our aspiration and taking care of it. Please do not lose your aspiration in the next two weeks. Take care of it, please. And if you lose it, please be kind to yourself and find it again. Thank you very much.

[70:37]

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