Well, anyway, it doesn't exist like nothing else. Everything else doesn't exist, but there does seem to be this thing called imagination, and I think it's totally wonderful that we've got one, and I think it's great that you guys have them, and it's just wonderful. I just wish you wouldn't be attached to them, because it hurts your imagination, and it hurts me that you're attached to your imagination. So I'm just saying, don't attach to anything. And imagination is one of the most important things to not attach to. If you can attach to something, if you had to choose a few things to attach to, well, OK, attach to your name and your telephone number. Do that. But don't attach to your imagination. That's too wonderful to choke that. That's going to backfire on you. Too big and powerful. But of course, you don't have to attach to your name, because I'll remember it for you. So you can even let go of that. And also, your telephone number, you could probably find somebody to memorize it for you. In other words, I'm saying you can be a Buddha.

[01:07]

That's what I'm saying. And that's what a Buddha is. It's a regular person, just like you and me, who has no attachments. None. And not seeking any. And a person, like you and me, who has no attachments, naturally the compassion which lives in your heart will burst forth. You can't stop it. It's already there. All you've got to do is train yourself with this very hard practice called non-attachment. And your love will come. It probably already has, but it'll come even more strongly and more purely and more universally than ever before. That's all. And intimacy comes through non-attachment. And non-attachment comes through intimacy. They're kind of like two sides of the same coin. Because it's because of attachment that we aren't intimate with some things.

[02:08]

And we try to get intimate with others. Yes? I don't understand how we... I don't know if that is how we're speaking, but you're still studying and kind of seeking to be, you know... Yeah. Right, we're not seeking enlightenment. No. Yeah. I'm trying to teach you to practice like a Buddha seeking enlightenment. Huh? Right. Buddha's just what she is, that's all. And she's not seeking anything. Then she's a Buddha. Now, you aspire to be a Buddha. I wish to be a Buddha so that I can serve all beings. But the practice, our practice is not seeking to be a Buddha. And that's how you become a Buddha, is to not seek to be a Buddha.

[03:12]

So I aspire to be a Buddha. I vow to be a Buddha. But in my practice, I want to do the practice of a Buddha. And Buddha's practice has no seeking. Now, there's other practices which some people teach are practices of seeking to be a Buddha, but that's not a Buddhist practice. So I'm trying to teach you a Buddhist practice which is not seeking, which is being grateful for this, like a Buddha would be, and working with this. And when something happens, don't say, well, could I have something better, please? Just thank you, thank you, thank you. Everything that's happening is the Buddha's teaching. This is my lesson right now. This is my lesson right now. This is my lesson right now. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It's painful, but thank you. It's painful, but I want to be intimate with it because if I'm intimate with it, I won't be attached and I will be free of it. So I can realize Buddha and then be more helpful to people, which I would like to be.

[04:19]

I'm satisfied with this at the same time. But I do sincerely and urgently want to do this practice of non-attachment and non-seeking. So I urgently want to do a practice without seeking it. Because if I seek it, then it goes away from me. See? Kind of? Yes? about, and that always, for me, sort of takes the whole thing over into this other, I don't know, more common or something, where we're at responsibility and not seeking it. And there's a certain facetiousness in that, that as soon as you say it, you're going to vow to accept it. Well, I wouldn't say I'm going to vow to do something. I would just say, I vow to do something. I have a vow. So when a vow arises in you, it's just, it's there.

[05:26]

I'm not saying you should go get a vow. You just want to do something. You know, I want to dedicate my life to devotion to all beings, okay? I'm not seeking anything. That's just the way I am. I'm telling you how I am. about the way I'm going to be or something else I want. I'm telling you about the way I want to live. And that just arises in you where it doesn't. But if you practice compassion and you take your seat where you are and say, thank you for the seat, your compassion does develop. And as your compassion develops, the conditions for the arising of that vow are accumulating. And if you sit where you are without wiggling and practice patience in your pain, You'll become more and more compassionate, and as you become more and more compassionate, you and the Buddha will start working together, and pretty soon you're going to want to, like, be a Buddha. That vow will arise in you. I say pretty soon, I mean pretty soon, like, I don't know how long pretty soon is.

[06:29]

Okay, Breck, we're getting pretty close. Only two more to go. We didn't finish right effort yet, but I think we might be able to finish tomorrow. So now maybe we can do some walking meditation and some sitting meditation, and you can practice what I preach. what happens if the unwholesome states of mind arise. In other words, what happens... Don't just let the seen be the seen and the heard be the heard.

[07:38]

What happens when Something arises and we react to it, or cough at it, or sigh about it. Well, these unwholesome states arise then. When we hesitate and want an alternative, you know, you hear a door open. And it didn't open quite the way you'd like it to. The sound wasn't quite what you like. I've been talking to people in the room over there, and there's squeaks every time it goes . Kind of a grating sound. It sounded differently.

[08:42]

I think it's OK to feel the pain of an irritating sound. Some sounds are unpleasant to some ears. But the question is, do you wish for the sound to be different? Do you hope for an alternative to what you're hearing as you hear it? If you do, unwholesome states arise right away. If you don't, unwholesome states do not arise. But even though they don't arise, you still might say, hey, I think I'm going to ask somebody. And you know what?

[09:48]

I think I will. But it's not coming from, it doesn't need to be coming from an unwholesome state. It doesn't need to be coming from ill will, like, What kind of a place is Mount Medan anyway? They don't even take care of their doors. Would you people please fix that? It doesn't have to come from sensual desire, wishing for, you know, a different sound. Subtle, but it doesn't have to be that way. It doesn't have to raise doubt. And so on. You don't have to go into kind of like a dull state. and so on. But anyway, let's say I hear the sound. I wish for an alternative to that sound. So then, unwholesome states arise. Could be ill will.

[10:48]

And then the question is, who am I going to have ill will towards? Who am I going to blame for this door being squeaky? Or maybe kick the door, or kick the hinge. Anyway, ill will could arise, sensual desire could arise, wishing for some other sound, or wishing I had little earphones on that converted all sounds into music, or worry or doubt. Doubt, you know, like, does Buddhism really work? I don't think so, because, you know, I'm still irritated by such sounds. And so on. Buddhism is no good. It's a joke. What am I doing here? Blah, blah, blah. Right? Why do I think that? Where does that come from? Tell me.

[11:50]

What? Yeah. Yeah. As soon as I want things to be... ...kind of stuff comes up. So, in some ways, so then you doubt maybe the practice, but you didn't do the practice. And when you don't do the practice, it doesn't work. So then you doubt the practice that you didn't do. Right? That makes sense, doesn't it? Anyway, so... Let's see, we can look at some of these unwholesome states. How do you abandon them? All right? So last night, Ben asked about doubt. So do you want to say something about ? You want an explanation of doubt? Yes, I'd like an explanation of doubt. Well, it's a big topic because doubt's a very important unwholesome state.

[12:57]

There's different kinds of doubt. Basically, there's good doubt and bad doubt. Good doubt is kind of like, well, you kind of doubt, you're not sure about your own existential status. That's a difficult .. Do you understand that word, existential status? You do? So in other words, do I exist or not exist? You know? In what way do I exist? That is actually just admitting that you don't know your true mode of existence yet. So our usual mode of existence that we usually feel, the usual mode of existence, What's the usual mode that we think we exist in?

[14:04]

Huh? No, we don't usually think we're in delusion. We are in delusion, but what is the mode of delusion that we're in? In other words, our delusion about the way we exist, what is it? Self and other, yeah, that's our... The mode that we exist in is we exist in the usual mode of existence. We exist as something... on its own. And other things are out there on their own. That's our usual way we live. That's our usual mode of existence. To doubt that is okay. It's okay to doubt that. I wonder if that's true. Actually, it's good to sort of suspect that that might be a delusion. And you've already heard that it is. But on some level, you don't believe that. But you might doubt it. You might doubt the teaching or you might doubt your usual attitude. Part of the reason why you might doubt it is because you might notice that it's painful.

[15:06]

Maybe the truth isn't painful. The Buddhist truth is not painful. In Buddhism, delusion is painful. Truth is happiness. Even the truth... that people suffer is a beginning of happiness. Now, you also might doubt the Buddhist teaching about what the actual state of existence is, that we aren't independent, that we aren't something all by itself. In other words, that we're kind of an emptiness. Each of us is an emptiness, an insubstantial thing. that we appear and yet we're also at the same time vast and ungraspable. So you might doubt that too, that teaching about the ultimate mode of existence. So that kind of doubt's okay.

[16:09]

It's more like a wonder or a philosophical mode of being, that kind of doubt. Philosophical. Philosophical means loving Sophie. I love Sophie. Sophia. I love Sophia. Sophia is this elusive thing called wisdom. I love wisdom. I have this loving wisdom mode of relating to my existence, which is kind of like doubting, wondering what it is. There's another kind of doubt which is sometimes called corrosive doubt. And that's a doubt which is, well, when you hear about, you know, practices which seem reasonable to you and that seem that they might be good for you, and you kind of are somewhat convinced

[17:20]

you know, that they're good for you, and yet you doubt them. And the doubt makes it so you don't do them. You say, I'm not sure they're good, so I'm not going to try anymore. That kind of doubt is an unwholesome thing. Like, for example, I doubt actually, I'm kind of, I'm not sure really that what I do. I'm not sure if I, if it's really that bad to hurt people. I heard it is, but I'm not sure. I think maybe it's not that important to notice whether I'm harmful or not. Patience is all that good. Maybe it's not a virtue after all. Maybe it's some kind of lie, a trick. I'm not sure honesty is really all that good. I'm not sure people deserve me, to be honest.

[18:22]

They're not honest with me. Why should I be the first one? I'm not sure courage is good either, and so on. You doubt many good practices. That's unwholesome. That's unskillful. That's a state that can arise and have a big, big undermining effect in your precious life. And it arises when you start negotiating with what's happening and say, no, no, not... Let's have a little bit more or a little bit less, and doubt can come in. Now, some people aren't big on doubt, so when they mess around with what's happening and try to make deals with reality or make deals with... For them, doubt doesn't come. Some people have stronger faith.

[19:24]

For them, maybe it's more like lust or sensual desire comes. People have different styles. Some people have all of you come. But usually not all come, because here are will and sensual desire together. If you want, if the duh sounds bad, wish it would sound better, that usually doesn't go with hating the door or trying to blame somebody. So one mode is, let's try to make the door sound better. The other is, let's try to blame somebody for it sounding better. Some people can alternate back and forth between those. But they usually don't happen at the same time. And then doubt can arise. Not that doubt can arise, but another thing that can arise is worry, agitation. Like some people, when a door squeaks in an irritating way, some people say, is this my fault?

[20:33]

Did I do something wrong? I must be a bad person because, you know, irritating sounds are Or I must be a bad person. Something's wrong with me that I'm irritated. What's wrong with me that I'm irritated by a squeak of a door? That's not a big deal. Why should I be so upset about that? I am upset about it. And now I think I'll be more upset because what's wrong with me that I should be upset about such a little thing? Boy, I'm a wreck. I've got to go see somebody to get help here. That part's actually pretty healthy. Worry, agitation is another thing that could come up. Wishing something else was happening when you start, you know, rejecting the latest gift of Dharma. The latest lesson in school.

[21:35]

No, no, I'm not in school. I didn't sign up for this. Get away. Maybe later I'll come to school. Maybe later my practice will start. But I haven't had my coffee yet. We don't have diamond studies before my coffee. Just stop. Okay, now I've had my coffee. Okay, thank you. Wait a minute. One more cup of coffee before you say that. Now, another reaction to something irritating or something pleasant, which can happen if you start spilling with it. So maybe something irritating is maybe something pleasant. Maybe something not irritating, not pleasant. Maybe something kind of like, well, geez, this is... This isn't really irritating. It isn't really pleasant. It's just kind of like boring.

[22:37]

I know what to do for that. I'll just get drowsy and slothful and go to sleep. Then in my dreams, something interesting will happen. So this isn't bad, so I'm not angry. And this isn't so good, so I don't want more of it. And this isn't so bad, so I want it to be better. So I'm not wishing for better or worse, but I wish it would be a little bit more interesting. Could we have something more interesting, please? Could we have something more interesting, please? But it's not more interesting. So you can't get it to be more interesting, because it's not more interesting. So you get drowsy. It's just this is, I'm not going to be awake for this. I'm not going to pay attention to this person. She's just not that interesting. I'm going to kind of like be half here. I won't look like it, but I kind of like, I'm going to daydream.

[23:46]

This is an unwholesome state. You're missing your life. OK? So those are the unwholesome states. I can go on if you want. But basically, and we'll get there. But yes? Can you talk about difference between anxiety and worry? Different between anxiety and worry? Anxiety, the way I use the word anxiety, is it's fundamental. And worry is not so fundamental. All worrying people are anxious. But some people who are not worrying are also anxious. Everybody's anxious. So the thirsty situation, running through this whole path, is anxiety. Long as we... are in this mode of existence of self and other. We're anxious. As long as the universe is separate from us, the universe threatens us.

[24:54]

This big universe threatens us with annihilation, condemnation, guilt, meaninglessness, insignificance, etc. Because it's other. It's all around us. But the very way it supports us, if you think of other, turns into strangling us. Because, you know, anxiety is related to the root. That's the root of the word anxiety. It needs to be choked. Suffocated. Those are situations. That we're suffocated and choked by our misunderstanding of our relationship to the other. Okay? That's anxiety. It's the basic human affliction coming from the basic human delusion. Okay? That's there all the time until you change your vision.

[25:59]

Being an anxious person, having anxiety, then When something happens, if you react to it in a manipulative way, if you start to negotiate, then the ultimate door in states, one of which is worry. Worry then is kind of like, well, what's going to happen next? Am I doing the right thing? Am I good enough? Am I good enough? Am I doing something meaningful? Am I OK? That kind of thing. Am I doing meaningful work? Am I being helpful? Okay, both questions sound like am I being helpful. That question's okay, but you can ask that question without worrying. Worrying has a tendency, the way I use the word worrying, worrying is kind of like someplace where you don't have to worry. Worrying is kind of like you want to eliminate the anxiety.

[27:09]

You want to do something to reduce the anxiety. It's like you want to be a good person so you don't have to worry anymore, or even a bad person so you don't have to worry anymore. You want to veer into some kind of step category so that the uncertainty and so on is eliminated rather than just face the anxiety. Other people want to beat somebody up or have some sense of pleasure or doubt the whole thing or get excited or go to sleep. You see how these are all those to avoid what's going on. And they arose because of the basic reflex or the basic hesitation to let things be. And that of not letting things be, of wanting to negotiate, blossoms into these five different ways of negotiating, manipulating.

[28:23]

The dosic impulse is that it opens the door to these unwholesome modes, which are really amplifications of the same thing, amplifications of No, thank you. This is not the truth. I want something else. And then, of course, those five can blossom into an endless variety of unwholesome things. But if we stay in uncertainty, choose to stay in uncertainty, then what can happen? Will you say it again? If we what? If we choose to stay in uncertainty. If we choose to stay in uncertainty. Well, I wouldn't say it's still an uncertainty. I would say more, if we accept uncertainty, then you accept it, not stay in it. You have a moment of uncertainty. So you're in uncertainty, and then you say, what possibilities are there?

[29:27]

The possibility is... that you, or not you, but that there will be evolution of what actually is happening. So for example, let's say you pass an eightfold path. OK? This practice of right effort is in the of right view. So you're paying attention to what you're doing. You're paying attention to how your present world view is unfolding. So maybe you think that you're separate from the world and you're doing things and you're watching your view of the world. And you're uncertain now about it a little bit. Uncertain means maybe this isn't true. Uncertain means maybe this isn't true.

[30:43]

And not only are you uncertain and open to maybe it isn't true, but also you're not meddling with the way things are appearing. Okay? And the optimistic or the positive prospect is that if you enter this mode, of relating to your experience of the world, you will see that it is not true. What is true, that's the prospect that you would have. That's the possibility of your realization of wisdom. And that leads to certainty. You become certain about the truth. But not excessive certainty. Just the right, huh?

[31:49]

Even if there is still something certain, there's still certain things I feel there is, yet that doesn't seem also, it's not the same thing. Right, right. I was listening to the radio the other day, somebody was talking about fundamentalism as excessive certainty. When you threw something and you blew something, but you're not really certain, you often become excessively certain. Like if you think, I don't think killing is good, you don't have to be absolutely sure you're right. You can still say, well, maybe, maybe. Maybe this is what I think and I really do think it, but I don't have to know I'm right. This is just what I think. This is just what I'm going to do. I'm going to practice not killing because I think it's good.

[32:51]

But I don't have to say, and not only that, but I happen to be right. And anybody who disagrees with me is wrong. And I think that undermines your confidence. When you're really confident, you don't have to know you're right. Just like when you're really confident, hmm, I don't think that tastes good. You just know you don't think it tastes good. You don't have to know you're right. But if you don't think it tastes good and you're not even sure of your own taste, you might shift into being sure that you're right about that. So excessive certainty, I think, really shows lack of faith, lack of understanding. But still, you could say, right now, I'm certain. I could be wrong still. And in the next minute I might change my mind. And, you know, I should say to you that although I tell you how I see things today, you know, I see such and such as unwholesome,

[34:05]

I see such and such as wholesome. I see such and such as a liberating practice. And that's my experience. But that's just the way I am today. Tomorrow I may be different. I am an evolving... And I speak with confidence about my present vision, but this is not forever. Okay? If I speak without confidence... then I don't, you know, very well, and you don't get to see what I'm saying. So I speak with some confidence and energy, but that doesn't mean this is the final way that I understand the teaching. Okay? Somebody had a hand raised before? Yes? Yes? Apathy?

[35:09]

Apathy goes with sloth? Yeah. Apathy goes with doubt. Sloth. And, yeah, it goes with those, I would say. Cynicism? I think doubt. You know? Cynicism, I think, is like, one of the aspects of cynicism is to think, you know, there really aren't any beings who have attained profound wisdom. That's part of cynicism. So you doubt that there really are such things. And so cynicism is part of wrong view. Part of right view is people who say that karma is important to pay attention to And what you say and what you do with your body and what you think has consequences. Those people are the Buddhas.

[36:15]

The enlightened people are the ones who are given this emphasis and conviction. Cynicism is karma is not important. It doesn't matter what you do. And the people who say it's important, they're just, you know, trying to make a living scaring people or something like that. They really aren't. such people. The people who are supposedly the wise are really tricky at convincing people to give, you know, rice. That's kind of, that's an aspect of cynicism. So it's like, and so doubt's like that. How do you distinguish between the potentials and the doubt? Doubt? Yeah. Well, skepticism or good doubt is like, well, is such and such a view, for example, is the view that I have of the mode of existence, is that correct?

[37:18]

Just questioning it. That's not cynicism, really. Skepticism and doubt, I think, are... Skepticism and doubt are... The kind of doubt that skepticism, I think, is... is this existential doubt, it's good. It makes you, it promotes your inquiry into your relationship with Sophia. Symmetism is, again, it's not just considering that there might be some charlatans, because there probably are, but it's thinking that all there is is charlatans. There's no non-charlatans, except the people who say, I don't know anything, I have no wisdom, and Healing powers, and I have no path to teach you. And then cynicism would say, actually, there's charlatans too, because that's a very attractive sales pitch. Why does the master say that, right? I don't know anything, you know, I have no wisdom. Well, this guy really is trustworthy.

[38:19]

So everybody's a charlatan, I guess, would be the ultimate cynicism, that those who seem to be wise are just putting on a good show, and those who are very humble are putting on a better show. So it's basically just saying there's no possibility of cutting to a human delusion, that everybody's really a hypocrite, that the intelligent and the apparently intelligent and wise are just selfish. But it's saying there's no possibility to cut through this cleverness and this deceptiveness. In some ways, some Zen teachers say they're basically endlessly deceptive.

[39:23]

And a lot of people do what a lot of people do in spiritual practices, just get better and better at being deceptive and fooling people. That's why we recommend the practice of non-attachment and non-seeking. Because it cuts through all this deception, because you can't, you've got to let go of it all. No matter what mode you're deceiving yourself, whether you're deceiving yourself as this worst student of Zen or a medium student of Zen or the best student of Zen or a great Zen master, no matter what you're doing, no matter how you present yourself, no matter how you're trying not to present yourself, no matter what you're doing, don't attach to it. No matter what you're doing, it's not trustworthy. The only thing you can trust is Let go. But you can't trust that you have let go.

[40:25]

You can just trust letting go. Because you can make letting go into a thing that you've done, and then you've got that. That's why we need a teacher and fellow members of the community, because we could think .. And really, we just want a new, clever way to hold on that looks like letting go. And sometimes we can fool most of them, too. But anyway, that's our only hope, is non-attachment. Okay? Where? Let's see, where could you read more about them? I think presentations of trying to develop meditation, trying to develop concentration, these are called the five hindrances.

[41:32]

And so we're looking at an index of most books that teach, especially Theravada books, the five hindrances, or the five obstructions, or the five obstacles. And you'll find a detailed description of that. I think there's a book called, I'll tell you later the name of it. Jack Kornfield's books. Yeah, Jack Kornfield's books, yeah. Okay? Anything else now? Are we sure enough about doubt for now? Okay. So then, now, if you're doing the practice of preventing the arising of unwholesome states that haven't arisen, if you're doing that practice, we don't have to deal with this stuff. If you're right down there with what's happening, not messing around, this stuff doesn't come up.

[42:43]

But, you know, this is an awesome practice because you're right down there, right there all the time with what's happening. This sort of person who just doesn't have an imagination, who's given up her imagination about the time. So this is a very intense practice. And that's why you sort of have to take care of your life pretty well to dare to be this simple and to the point. But if you can practice that way, of really, when something happens, when you hear that, don't be a snooze. Don't wish for another snooze. Write down that, moment by moment, where this is happening and this is happening. you know, pure, complete presence. If you do that practice, these five things won't come up. You won't have to deal with all these things. Now, if they do come up, then there's, you know, in some sense, two approaches.

[43:52]

One approach is, they came up, you confess that they came up, and go back to the basic practice that would have prevented them from going back to that place. So, Ill will comes up, and you just let the ill will be your will. Sensual desire comes up, and you just let the sensual desire be sensual desire. And then you're back on track again. And if it happens again, you keep treating it that way, and it will pass. And you do that with all these unwholesome states, just like you did it with everything before they arose. So everything gets treated the same way. In other words, there's just this one practice. But some people, when these unwholesome states arise, they aren't ready to go back to the practice which would have prevented them in the first place.

[44:58]

up in the variety and consequences of their unwillingness to practice so simply. So there are special practices to deal with the different unwholesome states, which I could tell you about. Because the further you slip, it's easier to When you're not slipping, it's easier to not slip again than after you slip to not slip again. You know what I mean? Or something, and you're not slipping, then it's easier to not slip on the next step than after you slip to not slip. Right? Once you slip, there's a kind of a recovery mode that's a little bit different from the next step on the path. Although sometimes I feel like, well, just snap back onto the path of right effort in the basic way, people can't do that sometimes because they get caught up in, for example, the doubt.

[46:15]

So you're doing the practice. around you slip into doubt but it's hard to recover right away from doubt the way you were practicing before so and that's part of the reason why these things are called unwholesome is because they're so expensive to recover from And again, we say also unskillful. So again, if you're schooling or something and you're unskillful, then it's sometimes a lot more work to recover from the unskillful thing than to do another skillful thing. Does that make sense? A skillful stroke or step is easier to follow with another skillful than to be skillful following an unskillful. It's easy to do unskillful after unskillful after unskillful, and you do several of them, then it's really hard to get a skillful, although you can do a skillful. It's just not as skillful as what you fell off of. So if somebody's doubting, in some ways, you might want to say, well, just let the doubt be the doubt, but they can't.

[47:28]

So then you have to do a special thing for the doubt. And so for doubt, the basic practice for doubt is discussion. Discussion with a person who is a teacher of the thing that you doubt. So you tell the person your doubt. And it's very important to tell the person your doubt. When you hear yourself say the doubt out loud in the air, it goes out in the air and they hear it and you hear it. When you hear it out loud, sometimes you say, that's ridiculous. It just happened yesterday, somebody told me a doubt and when he heard the doubt outside of his head, he could see the consistency of it. But we have a lot of spurs in our head that sound pretty good until we say them out loud or write them down on a piece of paper. So get it outside in discussion.

[48:35]

And then sometimes we don't get it just by hearing ourselves say it out loud. We don't see that we're saying it out loud. But the other person's face sometimes, their reaction sometimes shows us, like they go, hmm, or, oh, really? And then that does snap out of it. But sometimes there has to be an extensive discussion. But oftentimes a discussion leads to clarification. And sometimes if you don't have somebody who's a teacher of whatever you're doubting, whatever kind of practice you're doing that you doubt now, then you can also consult scriptures about the practice. And oftentimes you find out by reading the scripture that, yeah, it does make sense. You're not doubting it anymore. And partly you're getting back into the mode of just working out what the words say, and you're getting back on the practice just by reading. And by reading, it's an act of faith, you know.

[49:35]

So by reading and talking to the teacher, you're going... If you doubt so much that you won't even go talk to the teacher and won't read the scriptures, well, then you're just leading the doubt, right? So by going to talk to the teacher in some sense, you're saying, well, I want to go back towards... towards trusting the... Which is part of why the teacher relationship is so important, and the teachers have to be very careful. Because if they undermine the student's trust in the teacher, then if the student doubts, it's hard for them to come back and talk to their doubts with somebody who they don't trust. So teachers have to be very careful about the trust of the student and not to do anything which will disparage that trust or that faith. Because even if the student-teacher relationship is perfect, you know, very good, the students can have other reasons for doubting the practice and skillfulness.

[50:41]

So at least they should be able to come back to the teacher as a place where, you know, they can air their doubts in that environment. So a basic antidote to dogmas, just discuss it. And people have been arguing with it for 2,500 years, but nobody's overthrown it yet. Nobody's really like, it's evolved, you know, but basically it's millions of people for thousands of years have been arguing with the teachings, and they're pretty much the same. They are actually pretty well tested, and they've been tested, tested, tested. Doesn't mean they aren't changing by the testing process, but the latest version of them is the results of 2,500 years of being tested and criticized and argued with. So if you start arguing with it, to get back on track.

[51:42]

Yes, Tulsi? Okay, I'll do that next. Do you want to tell me something or do you want to hear about it? Okay, so the practice is, the basic one is meditation on impermanence. That's the basic one. Meditation on impermanence is a good meditation anyway for most people most of the time. But particularly, let's say you're meditating and you start having ...desire arising, and that means that you're thinking about things in such a way that you're desiring something, again, other than what's going on, and you're getting distracted from being here. And your energy is running down. You're losing energy because of the way you're using these images in your mind of essential type. You're kind of fooling around.

[52:47]

So, what I used to do, I don't have these problems so much anymore, because I'm so old. But what I used to do, when I'd be bothered by sensual desire when I was meditating, I would think of my teacher when he was dead. I would just think of what he looked like when I saw him when he died, see him lying in his room, see him there. It isn't that I hate those images and that kind of desire. It's just that I got serious again. There's something serious going on here. And if that didn't work, I would think of myself on the street having a truck. And if that didn't work, I would get into details of what happened to my body when the truck ran over me and look at the different parts of my body squished in all over the street.

[53:51]

And then by that time, I was usually, you know, I wasn't distracted anymore. I was and back on the job. Yes, that's sensual desire too, yes. You're not just there feeling the pain. No. You're not practicing. Pardon? Yeah, you want to change it. So then sensual desire arises. First of all, you flinch. You react to the situation. Then sensual desire arises.

[54:53]

You say, can't we be nice or whatever? That's sensual desire. It's not sexual desire. You want a different sensation. You desire a different sensation. But again, if you think of something, think of impermanence or something serious, you realize here you are using your mind to distract. And you come back and say, okay, we've got this problem. And you start to notice you're settling down and feeling better. You weren't trying to make yourself feel better, but you do feel better. The other way, you're trying to make yourself feel better and you feel worse and worse and worse. So trying to make yourself feel better makes yourself feel a bit worse, and trying to make yourself feel better or worse, you do feel better. You start to settle down into your suffering. So the unfortunate conversation, the argument may go on, but you get more and more settled.

[55:55]

You settle into your patience, and you feel better under the circumstances. So one of the examples of patience that one Buddhist teacher gave was, you know, in the world where there's all these problems, you know, all these arguments and stuff like that, which is easier to, you know, he says if you're traveling over a very rough surface, you know, a world where everything is very rough and sharp and jagged and painful, which is easier, to tell the whole world with a cushion or to put a cushion on your feet? put rubber over the whole world, I put rubber on your feet, which is easier. You put a little rubber on your feet so you can walk through the world of pain. The pain's still there, but, you know, you can be there. It's got a little thing called patience which makes you a little more comfortable so you can settle into wisdom.

[57:00]

So that's one of the main antidotes to sensual desire. Just do something, just get serious. In hospitals sometimes, when nurses are washing some of the male patients, sometimes they have a reaction, and when they do, sometimes the nurses just give them a little whack with a thermometer, and then they snap out of it. Come on. This is not... Wake up. This is a hospital. Come on, boy. It's not mean. It's not mean. It's just, you know, you're in a hospital. We're trying to heal here, you know. Don't daydream. You've got work to do. So, anyway, a lot of this... Sexual interactions are a wonderful part of human life, but they don't have to be distractions.

[58:10]

Eating and drinking and looking at sunsets are wonderful, but they don't have to be distractions. You can look at a beautiful sunset, you can look at the trees, and you don't have to use that experience as a distraction. You can be present even when you're in a beautiful situation. And also, if you're in an ugly situation where there's lots of pain and suffering, you can be present there without distracting yourself. So the basic antidote to ill will is loving kindness. And in some other major texts, they recommend starting with yourself. So loving kindness. Wishing yourself to be buoyant and light in body and mind. Wishing yourself to be free of anxiety and fear and hatred.

[59:16]

Wishing yourself to be safe and healthy. Wishing yourself these good things until you learn how to do it in such a way you feel comfortable and ill will drops away. and then do it towards others. You don't necessarily feel an ill will towards a particular person. You shouldn't necessarily start with that person. Start with yourself. And if you're feeling towards yourself, you might start with somebody who, like, you might start doing it towards someone that you don't, like a teacher. You can't do it towards yourself. You warm up on your teacher or something, and then do it with yourself. But usually you start with yourself, then you do it with someone that you feel that you like a little bit, but not a lot. And you do it with somebody you feel neutral towards, or someone you like a lot.

[60:22]

Then you do it towards somebody you have a problem with, somebody who's hurt you perhaps. The reason why you don't do it with the person you like a lot first is that there's danger of getting into, again, lust. If you start with somebody you like a lot, no danger there, which is not the point of the exercise. The exercise is to generate this positive energy, not to aggravate desire. And then, okay, that's for ill will. And then for... or a slot. Any way you can arouse yourself, any wholesome way you can arouse yourself, like imagining a bright light or taking a brisk walk, splashing cold water in your face. Something, any way to arouse yourself.

[61:24]

And if that doesn't work, try it again and again until you feel awake. and not slothful and drowsy, and go back to your meditation. And then about worry or agitation, usually what's recommended is something like following your breath, something simple, something simple. The worried mind's kind of complicated and jumping all over the place. meditation on your posture or your breathing tends to take care of the agitation and the worry. Now, if you're dull and sleepy, then meditation on your breath oftentimes makes you more dull and sleepy. So when you're dull and sleepy, because it's hard to go from dull and sleepy to more calm. Usually you just go into more dull and sleepy. But if you're agitated, it's okay not to worry about falling asleep by getting calm.

[62:32]

So calming things are fine when you're agitated and worried. Yes? Is there a good kind of sleepiness? All sleepiness is good sleepiness if you're awake when you're sleepy. So sleepiness isn't a problem, except in this context, where sleepiness is the result of being asleep. You're fighting what's happening, and then it gets into dullness. But if you're in dullness, dullness isn't bad if you can wake up in it. We should be able, eventually, to walk into all states and wake up. The state isn't itself dull. you know, completely bad. It's just in this context, these states are things that arise while you're meditating that divert you and interfere.

[63:34]

But if you are meditating in these states and you could enter them, then there are opportunities. But in this case, that's what I said, is that the best way, in a sense, is when these things arise, just go right back to the meditation which you just slipped from. But if you can't, then we have these antidotes, which eliminate. But if you didn't need the antidote, you can go directly and practice with these things, and then they would turn into opportunities. So they're not completely bad. They're opportunities. But it's hard for people to meditate in drowsiness. but it's not impossible. What people need to do, I don't know, most people, what a lot of people need to do is, you know, abandon the drowsiness and go on in the meditation. And then when you reach the end of your meditation practice, then you'll be stronger, and you can even meditate in drowsiness, you can meditate in the middle of ill will, you can meditate in the middle of sensual desire.

[64:42]

No matter what happens, you know, you can do it, but that's very advanced. It's almost inconceivable for most people that they would be able to meditate in the middle of ill will. But it doesn't matter where it's at. No matter what happens, no matter what happens, you can be upright with it and non-manipulative, and then you're back on track. No matter what happens, you could cut through the duality of self and that thing. It's always possible. But for most people, it's pretty hard before they've cut through to cut through under such advanced challenges as these so-called unwholesome states. So entirely good and unwholesome states aren't entirely bad. Everything has, you know, some opportunity for realization of enlightenment.

[65:49]

So nothing's completely bad and nothing's completely good. Because even good states you can go to sleep in, and bad states you can wake up in. Okay? This is part of, like, being open. When you're in a bad state, be open to that something good could happen. When you're in a good state, be open to something bad could happen. And be open to something good that could happen. But you already got the good part, so be open to that. There's always danger. Always. Don't go to sleep. And there's always the possibility for enlightenment. Don't go to sleep. There's always a possibility and the worst. And in order to be enlightened, you have to be open to the full scale of the world.

[66:51]

Like I was saying to somebody yesterday, he was talking about some of the things that happened to him with his intimacy with people. And greed is an obstacle to intimacy. You try to get something from someone, he interferes with your intimacy. And his greed may go on and on and on. So then people think, will I ever be able to be intimate? Maybe I'll never be able to be intimate with anybody because my greed's so strong. And I think it's a good idea if you would be open to the possibility that you would never be intimate with anybody. I did say that, yes. I think if you're not open to the possibility that you can't be intimate, that that closeness to being open to that possibility will interfere with your intimacy. Was that difficult to grasp?

[67:57]

I could probably say it a simpler way. If you don't accept the possibility that you won't be intimate, that lack of acceptance of that possibility will block your intimacy. You have to be able to be with somebody and be open to the fact that you might not be intimate with them now or ever. And still say, I may never be intimate with you. I may never be intimate with myself. I may never be, but I still want to be. Intimacy is the top of the line, you know? And you can't have the top of the line if you exclude anything and say, no, I can't Okay, fine. You just excluded yourself from intimacy. The intimacy club doesn't exclude anything. And if you have strong greed, as long as it's there, it's going to interfere, and it may go on forever. If you don't open to that, you exclude yourself from the path.

[69:01]

You have to be open to the possibility that all your problems will continue forever. If you close off to that, you've just excluded yourself from a possibility. Intimacy is you're open to all possibilities. And they can be this, this, this, but they can't be this. This is like impossible. They cannot be, this person who I'm intimate with can't be a devil, can't be an angel, can't be a demon, can't be a Buddha. Anything you exclude, You've just tightened up and you've made it simpler for yourself and you've chipped away at the intimacy. Intimacy means you don't know who this is. You don't know what this is. And you don't know what it isn't. You don't really know anything.

[70:02]

And yet you're certain. that this is the way you want to be. And you're not afraid. And you're not anxious. And you're full of compassion. And you see things as they are. And the way things are is... How? That they're not some definite, inherent way. That's the way things are. That's called emptiness. And when you can accept emptiness, you can be intimate with things. Okay? So that's the right effort, except there's two more aspects. And I kind of feel like, to make life simple for you today, that basically, if you do the first one, You know, the practices which prevent the arising of unwholesome states, they not only prevent the arising of unwholesome states, but those practices themselves are wholesome practices.

[71:13]

So that's the third one. To do this practice of giving rise to wholesome states, wholesome states arise with this basic practice of non-manipulation, no alternative. mind like a wall. Unwholesome states arise from that naturally. You don't have to make them arise, they arise. Non-greed, non-hate, and non-delusion arise with that practice. The third one happens automatically with the first one. And the fourth one is to maintain and perfect these wholesome states. This mode of being maintains and perfects And the main way it maintains them because they just keep coming up in the state of presence without trying to get anything. In the state of not manipulating with what's happening, wholesome states naturally arise continuously.

[72:17]

So that's how they're maintained. You can't hold them because they're but they keep coming up. They go away and they come up again. So the third one happens spontaneously when you practice the first one. The maintaining goes on. That's the fourth one. But the perfecting, this is your test before breakfast. If you get this right, you can have breakfast. If one of you gets it right, you can have a breakfast. How do you perfect the wholesome states? Yeah, well, but what's the practice that perfects the wholesome states? A line would be mine like a wall. Yeah, yeah. The same practice, the beginning practice perfects them. Non-attachment to these wholesome states perfects them. Letting them go perfects them. And then after you let go, they get better.

[73:18]

Then you let go of the better ones. Better and you let go. So you keep going beyond by letting go of your attainments. That's how the wholesome states get perfected. Okay, so now you can have breakfast. And after breakfast, we can do right mindfulness. Okay? I'm 10 o'clock. Is that okay? Is 10 o'clock okay? It could be later if you need more time. Is 10 o'clock okay? It's a revision of the previous book. The new edition. And now, next comes right mindfulness. Right mindfulness is, of course,

[74:25]

In some sense, it's all of Buddhism, if you could say. But in the sequence, our presentation, we just talked about right mindfulness following upon right effort. Right mindfulness is basically the practice of remembering present with and watching right effort. In a sense, it's like right effort is way of being in the midst with what's happening, or the way of being, period, or the way of being in the midst of what's happening.

[76:12]

It's this way that Rajesh was just talking about of not kvetching. you know, whatever is happening, you don't complain. You don't ask for an alternative. That's the way you are. That's the way you are. That's the way you feel. That's the way you think. That's the way you smell. That's the way you hear. That's the way you taste. That's the way you touch. Okay? Just letting things be. Okay? Okay? So what?

[77:15]

Kvetch? No Kvetch. Thank you. It's one syllable? Kvetch.

[77:36]

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