a bond between all of us, between all humans and between all humans and non-humans, a bond, a bond between all beings, enlightened beings and unenlightened beings, a silent bond between all beings, And this silent bond is what we call enlightenment. Enlightenment is the silent bond among all beings. And that's it. And so the enlightenment has a form of being. And the way it is, the way it comes into being is through all of us being related.

[01:08]

However, we're not necessarily awakened to this enlightenment, to this bond. So there's a practice of awakening to this to this bond among all of us. And again, the way we're all related is very intense, so intense that it gives off a great light. So the English word enlightenment is a nice translation of this Asian concept, this Asian discovery of something about the way we're related which can enlighten us.

[02:22]

When we see this light, we become free of delusions. we become free of delusion, which is the cause of our suffering. We become free of the delusion that we're not working closely together. We even become free of the delusion that we have about working closely together So sometimes we feel like we're working closely together. Sometimes we have an idea about how we're working closely together, which is a pleasant idea, maybe. Sometimes it's not pleasant, I guess. Some people feel like they're working closely together with people that they'd rather not be working closely together with.

[03:23]

So then they feel like maybe they'd like to get those people to go someplace else because they don't want to work closely together with them. They think there's an option. So any idea we have about our relationship doesn't reach our relationship. And if we grasp the ideas we have of our relationship, that is the cause of suffering. If we grasp what we think our relationship is, and we do usually think our relationship is this or that, if we grasp that, this is the cause of suffering. If we think we're together and grasp that, we suffer. If we think we're separate and grasp that, we suffer. And there is a practice of simply graciously observing the stories we have about our relationships

[04:53]

Like if you think you're separate from anybody, if you think anybody's life is separate from your life, if you have that story, if that's how things look to you, they might look that way. If you can graciously observe that story, graciously and thoroughly observe the story that somebody is not your close friend. If you can graciously observe the story that someone's separate from you or a lot of people are separate from you, whatever the story is. Through such a contemplation there will be an opening in the story and the actual light of your relationship will come through and set you free from believing your story about who you are, about who other people are, about what a tree is, about what a mountain is, about what a Republican is, about what a Democrat is, about what a Buddhist is, about what enlightenment is.

[06:22]

You'll become free of all your stories you become free of suffering. So this basic practice of aimlessly loving all your stories. Every moment stories arise in your mind, love them, generously love them without trying to get anything from them or You know, give them a big field, as we say. They will evolve positively under this aimless love. The stories will be conditioned, will then be allowed to evolve more and more positively. But also your vision will get more and more ready to see the light in all your stories.

[07:24]

There's a light in all your stories about every being, and every being has light. But because we have a mind which gives rise to a story about people, the stories we have about people somewhat obscure their light and obscure our own, even though it's being communicated back and forth moment by moment. This kind of practice is a practice, in a sense, it's a means, or it's a practice of initiation. It's an initiatory practice to initiate ourselves into the actual enlightenment, which is our actual relationship with beings. And it's their relationship with us. The actual relationship is the actual practice that we wish to enter.

[08:37]

So the practice of the Buddha is the way we're all practicing together now. There's a scripture called the Lotus of the True Law, the wonderful Lotus of the True Law, and it teaches one path of enlightenment, or one vehicle. It teaches the vehicle of the Buddha's Meditation or the Buddha's practice. And the Buddha's practice is the practice of all beings supporting each other and being supported by each other.

[09:56]

That's the Buddha practice. And in the school of Zen that is closely associated with this temple, we have a practice which we call in Japanese Zazen, or you could say sitting meditation. And we teach this sitting meditation in different ways, but today I would like to mention speaking of the actual sitting meditation of the Buddha. And in this sitting meditation, this practice, we say sometimes that in each moment of this sitting, each moment of this sitting is equally wholeness of practice and equally wholeness of enlightenment.

[11:00]

But another way of saying it is that each moment of sitting is equally the same practice and the same enlightenment for both the person sitting and all beings. So the one vehicle, or in some sense the one practice, is the practice which is equally the same practice for each of you and all beings. that's equally the same practice for all of us and the same enlightenment for all of us. That's the practice of Buddha's meditation.

[12:04]

And we go on to say that such a sitting meditation, such a practice, such a practice which is the same practice, equally the same practice for you and all beings, that that practice is not limited to sitting. It's like a hammer striking emptiness. Before and after, it pervades past and future. It's not limited to this moment. So you don't have to understand it as sitting, but just that in each moment of practice, the actual Buddha's practice is the practice that's the same for you and all beings. And that's the same enlightenment for you and all beings.

[13:19]

When I say this, my mind, hearing what I just said, it sort of kind of says, well, how can I get a hold of such a practice? Which is, how can I get a hold of the practice? How can I get a hold of the way I'm practicing the same as you? And I don't think I can get a hold of it. I can't get a hold of the way I'm practicing the same way as all of you and all trees and bears and mountains. I can't get a hold of that. But if I open to it, if I open to what I can't get a hold of, I can be free from the story of me practicing in a way that's different from you.

[14:58]

I do have a story that I practice differently from somebody. So like I have a story that I practice differently from my grandson. or from a Muslim or from an atheist or from a terrorist. I have a story that I practice a different way than them. And if I believe that story, I suffer. And I hear other people tell me stories, and it sounds to me like they have a story that they also practice differently from other beings. And I hear them say that they're suffering because of the story which they have about the way they're practicing, about the way they're living.

[16:01]

They're suffering. And I see them suffering because they're holding on to their story. that they're practicing better than some people or not as good as some people, not as well as some people. But basically, different. Basically, there's some discrimination in their story which they're caught by or that they're grasping and they're suffering because of that. So basically what I'm trying to practice and encourage is an aimless loving of the story that we're caught in moment by moment, or aimless loving of our story. Graciously observe your story right now. If you have a terrible story, graciously observe it. If you have a lovely, pleasant story, gracefully observe it.

[17:07]

If you have a terrible story, don't tense up around it. If you're tensing up around it, be gracious towards tensing up around it. aimlessly love yourself as you tense up around your story. If you have a lovely story, a story of how skillful you're being, how kind everyone's being to you, how supportive everyone's being to you, and you feel happy and joyful, graciously observe that situation, that story. Love that without trying to make it continue or end. Aimlessly love it. And my proposal is that if we can consistently treat this story-making function of our mind, if we can consistently treat it in this open, gracious way, all of our stories will turn into light

[18:31]

and we will open to the actuality of our relationship with all beings. We will open to this, to the light. And this light, which is the light emerging from our relationship, is the face of the Buddha, it's the face of the Buddhist practice. And if we can relax with our horrible stories and relax with our magnificent, gorgeous stories, that ability to be that way with our stories will prepare us to be that way with the light. We will not be grasping our stories, we will be taking close, we will be giving close care to all of our stories without grasping them.

[19:35]

We will develop a relationship with our stories where we will give up being able to get and grasp our stories. And in that mode we can open to another reality which we can't get or grasp. but we can be realized by this actual relationship. So in a sense I'm offering the possibility of the practice of the Buddha, not the possibility, I'm offering the proposal that the practice of the Buddha is already in it. We're already in the relationship with all beings. The practice of Buddha completely surrounds us. But because we have a mind which creates a limited version of our relationship, which I'm calling stories, we're blinded to it.

[20:43]

So in order to open to the infinite practice that we live in, we have to take good care of the limited practice, the finite practice that our mind is creating, the finite world that our mind is creating. But in a sense, really, there is only one practice. It is the practice that we're doing together. And we have dreams of other kinds of practices. But caring for our dream practice opens us to this unlimited practice. And not caring for our dreams, or caring for them in a tight way, in an ungracious way, attaching to our limited version, is suffering.

[21:47]

Someone just recently came and talked to me about a story that she had, a story that she was a failure in her work. That was her story. If someone had come to me and told me that they have a story that they're a success in their work, that would be an equally good example. But this person's story was that they were a failure in their work. And different people would have different definitions of what would constitute failure in their work and what would constitute success. So this person had her story of being a failure in her work, and she asked me, what is right effort?

[23:07]

And I started by just saying, you know, what I told you. I'd say, well, right effort would be to graciously contemplate the story that you're a failure. If you have a story that you're a success, then right effort would be to graciously, thoroughly contemplate the story that you're a success. And then in both cases, you would become relieved of the story of failure and the story of success. Once again, if I have a story of failure, maybe it's easy to understand that if you have a story of failure and you tense up around it, you suffer. But it's also, I propose, if you have a story of success and you stiffen around it, you suffer. And in both cases, and in all cases, of any story that you stiffen around, not only do you suffer, but you blind yourself.

[24:23]

to your life with beings, to your unstoried life with all beings. Story attached to it, it blinds us to our unstoried, untold, unspoken, silent bond with all beings. It blinds us to enlightenment once again. being gracious with your stories, terrible and wonderful, you will open to this light. You will see, you will meet Buddha face to face. And this face will not look like a man or a woman. It will look like light. And the light will not look like light. It will be light. It won't look like anything. It will look like freedom, and freedom won't look like anything.

[25:31]

But then I went on further to say to her, but technically speaking, right effort is one of the elements of the Eightfold Path that the Buddha taught. Right view, right intention, right action, right speech, right livelihood, right mindfulness, right effort, right concentration. Right effort is the seventh of the eightfold path. And it has kind of a technical... I always feel kind of uncomfortable because it's kind of technically presented by the Buddha. It has four parts. First part is, I'm going to say this slightly different than it's sometimes said. I'll just say how it's usually said and try to say it another way. The first one is to prevent the arising of unarisen, unwholesome states.

[26:43]

A lot of uns there. So I'd like to say it's I would say to encourage the non-arising of unwholesome stories that have not arisen. And the next one is to encourage the dropping or letting go of unwholesome stories that have arisen. And the other is to encourage the arising of wholesome stories, of skillful stories that have not arisen, and to encourage the development of wholesome stories that have arisen.

[27:48]

Once again, the first one is kind of prevent the arising of unwholesome stories. The other is to drop the unwholesome stories that have arisen to promote the arising of wholesome stories and to promote the flourishing of wholesome stories that have arisen. The way of preventing the arising of unwholesome stories that have not arisen is to deal with whatever story you've got in a gracious way. So, for example, we go on to the next one. If you've got an unwholesome story, like a story, an unwholesome story might, we can't be sure, you know, but you might think an unwholesome story would be to do something that would hurt you and hurt beings that you really love.

[29:10]

You might think that that was an unwholesome story, unskillful story. Like, get drunk and pile all your loved ones in the car and then drive off a road. You might think that's a story of unskillfulness. Or, you know, be cruel to someone who's being nice, who's being kind to you. You might think that's unskillful. It probably is, but we can't be sure, but it probably is. Let's say you've got a story like that, let's say. Or you've got a story, I'm a failure at being a good helper. And I want to be a good helper, and I'm a failure at it. That's a story of unskillfulness. Now, if you practice generosity towards this story, you really let this story be this story. You love this story without trying to get anything from the story, not trying to get rid of it. You're trying to give it away. You're not trying to get rid of it. You want to give it away.

[30:13]

You want to treat it in such a way that it turns into a gift, that it turns into a light. If you treat this unwholesome story that way, that eventually will turn the unwholesome story into light. on the spot, and it also will prevent the arising over time. It will gradually encourage the non-arising of further unwholesome stories. And then again, whether you're dealing with the wholesome story or unwholesome story, if you practice this the way, this encourages the arising of wholesome stories. That's the third one. Got an unwholesome story? You treat it graciously and lovingly without trying to get anything. Just give yourself wholly to it. That promotes the arising of a wholesome, of a skillful that hasn't arisen. And then if a skillful state has arisen and you treat it in this way, it tends to reproduce, or not reproduce, but it tends to be a condition for another wholesome story, even a more wholesome story.

[31:24]

So the unskillful treated graciously are abandoned, skillful treated graciously flourish. Unskillful treated graciously, lovingly, are abandoned and tend towards being a condition for wholesome. That's a description of right effort, that. working with the different types of stories that we have. And this kind of practice is a practice of initiating ourselves into the light of Buddha's wisdom, initiating ourselves into practice of our actual relationship with each other.

[32:31]

I'm going to say wean ourselves from living in our stories and holding to our stories. Wean ourselves from practicing in a way I'm not going to say wean exactly, but to learn how to not hold on to our story of the way we practice by ourself, and to open to the way we practice with all beings in the same way, which is the definition of Buddha, to open ourselves to Buddha, which is not me and not you, It's the way you and I are practicing together in the same way. That's Buddha. That's enlightenment. I heard a story about a French boy and I think when he was about eight years old or something like that, he might have been a little older, over a fairly short period of time his eyes started to become dim and dim and dim and I think like in a week or something

[34:33]

he went blind. So he had been able to see, you know, in the normal way of seeing light, he could see until he was about that age. So when he went blind, he did, he had some, in a sense, experience of seeing. And then, not too long after he went blind, I don't remember exactly, maybe, does anybody know? Not too long after he went blind, he realized he could see. And so he wrote a book, he dictated a book called, And Then There Was Light. So I don't know how this happened to him, but somehow he opened to this light. So I could tell the story that what happened to him was that he had a story that he was a little boy living in France and that he could see.

[35:36]

And then he had a story that he was going blind. And then he had a story that he was blind. And then that he graciously observed the story that he was blind. that he couldn't see and that he was French and that he was a boy. He observed his stories. Somehow he was able to do this. By the grace of his relationship with all beings, he was able to be gracious with his story of losing his... of being blind. And in that graciousness, he opened to the light, which blind people can open to and sighted people can open to. And he said that once he saw the light, he always knew what to do. He could just see what to do.

[36:39]

And he could also actually move around to some extent in the physical world. pretty well without using one of those little canes. He knew what to do all the time because he saw this light which he hadn't seen when he could see. Then he had some troubles and before he saw this light he had some difficulty knowing what was appropriate to do. But once he saw this light, when he saw that light, he always knew what to do. Except that when he became frightened or angry, the light went away. And then he didn't know what to do. But then I would guess, I don't know what he would say, I would guess that when the anger came and the fear came and the light went away, that he was gracious with the story of the light going away, of there being no light, and him being afraid, afraid in the dark.

[38:12]

afraid in the dark. Afraid and angry in the dark. That he was gracious with that. And in that graciousness, the light came back and the fear... Actually, I think it's more like this. In the graciousness, the fear goes away and the anger goes away. Not being gracious with your story rather than liking your story rather than liking your bad stories, or liking your good stories, or liking your good stories, or hating your good stories, in the graciousness towards your stories, the light comes back. But if we flinch and go back and lose our graciousness, the light goes away again. In the light we're freed, but it doesn't mean our habit to be ungracious has totally dropped. So you can flip back into being ungracious in gripping our stories about each other and ourselves.

[39:19]

And then the light goes out and we become afraid, or rather, we become afraid and angry and the light goes out, along with the grasping. He then joined the French resistance and was taken to... And he got caught by the Nazis and was taken to a concentration camp. And in the concentration camp, he was... He tells this story about him being this great helper to all the other people in the camp because he could see what to do. And he brought... the vision of light among the other inmates. And he helped them deal with this terrible, not this terrible, but all those horrible stories.

[40:21]

He helped them be gracious with them so that even in the midst of the most horrible stories, they could see the light and help each other. And so he did this through the war. And actually there was one time after the war was over and the Nazis wanted the allies were coming and they didn't want them to see these people in these camps so they released the people. And the way that they were going to release them he could see was death to them. So he advised his inmates to not not go the way that they would be told to go. He saw another way to go and he saved, you know, because of his vision, because he could see, he saved thousands, I think it was thousands of inmates from what they would have done if they

[41:23]

followed the instructions of their captors, who were trying to hide the situation and also have these people all die. If you come to Zen Center and get instruction in sitting meditation, we have an introductory sitting meditation here at 8.30, and I think in the City Center also at 8.30, and at Tassajara it's 4 in the afternoon. So we give these introductory instructions to people, but we don't usually say in the introductory instruction that the practice of sitting meditation

[42:31]

each moment of it is equally the same practice and the same enlightenment of you and all beings. We don't usually say that in the introductory instruction. What we usually say is, when you come in the room, we usually put our palms together and bow. And then we hold our hands in position like this, where the hands are folded at the chest. And we walk quietly to our seat. And when we get to our seat, we again join our palms and bow towards our seat. And we turn clockwise and bow away from our seat. And then we sit down and turn clockwise to sit. And then we have various seven points of posture to check on while we're sitting. And then we also, while being aware of our posture, we notice our breathing and so on. This is the kind of instruction we give in sitting meditation to beginners. This sounds a little different than... Please, you may come in here and practice the same practice and the same enlightenment as all beings.

[43:49]

So the private teaching I'm giving is complementing the other teaching. And the other teaching is a way to tune into a story. A story of you coming into a room and sitting in a certain posture and you paying attention to your posture and you noticing the story and the stories that arise while you sit and meditate in a room with some other people. And you may notice then the story of that you're doing a different practice from the other people. And then as you practice, you notice that you're suffering because you have the story and you're more or less holding on to it. Or you might notice that you have a story that you're sitting and practicing and you're not holding on to it for some reason and you're opening to the light and you know what to do.

[44:53]

But most people don't actually open to it right away. They actually get somewhat caught in their story and then they go to see a teacher and they tell the teacher that they're caught. And then the teacher might help them or might try to help them be gracious with the story that they're caught in the story of being a Zen student. of being a meditator, or being a good meditator, or a bad meditator. Some people have the story that they're good meditators and the people next to them aren't. And then they come and they say, I feel so terrible. I think I'm a good meditator and my neighbors are lousy meditators. I feel so bad to think of them that way. I mean, I know they're not bad meditators. I know they're not worthless Zen students. And I know I'm not better than them. But I keep thinking that. Over and over, I think, why did they let these people in here? They should have a policy against people that aren't as good as me being here. Now, I know that's stupid, but I keep thinking that way.

[46:04]

The story keeps arising, and then it's so horrible that I tense up. And I kind of feel totally stuck in this story that I'm the best student in my role, or at least in these three seats. And I have another story that there's somebody else sitting way down at the end of the row who's been around a long time, and they're better than me. I had that story too, that they're really a good meditator. They're even better than me. And I'm tense around that one too, and then I suffer with that one. Matter of fact, I'm afraid to go talk to that guy. I have a story that he's better than me. And you're encouraged to go talk to the one that you think is better than you, that you're afraid of. and that you're tense around them being better than you. You were not necessarily encouraged to go talk to the one that you think is worthless and you're tense around that. Go talk to the one that you think is really great and that you're stiff with that story and don't want to talk to them or have them see you because if they saw you, they would know how inferior you are, etc.,

[47:20]

Or you could have the story, actually there's one other person in the room who is as enlightened as me, and that's the Master. That person is actually as enlightened as me. I think I will go see the Master and let them know that they've made it to my level. But actually if you're feeling like that and you're kind of relaxed about it and feel okay about going and saying that, you might also notice But that's not true, that everybody's equal to you. Everybody is doing the same practice as you. You might notice that. So I'm partly telling you that when you come to a Zen center, you hear two kinds of instruction. One kind of instruction is instruction in becoming aware of stories, and those are good instructions. And I'm in addition to saying try to be lovingly, graciously aware of all your stories that everybody's helping you become aware of so that you can become free of them and enter into what isn't a story.

[48:30]

A silent place, an unconstructedness in silence and stillness where we're working in perfect peace and harmony with all beings. Like that song goes, I see, I see friends shaking hands saying, how do you do? They're really saying, I love you. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world. Like that. You want more? I don't know the rest of it. So please be gracious.

[49:35]

Be attentive and gracious to the workings of your mind as it creates moment by moment a story of your relationship with the world. Please take care of that. And there will be light someday. and you will be set free of all your good and bad stories. Is there anything you'd like to discuss? Yes. As you were talking, I just thought that there are some stories that are not so much personal stories, but stories that a lot of people in our society are gripping very tightly.

[50:48]

Yes. And that it's harder to work with those kinds of stories in some ways. There's so much energy from other people's written messages. Right. Some stories are that the level of stiffening is stronger. Like people's story about they think of something that's really good and they think, well, don't I have to hold on to that because wouldn't it be terrible to not do that good thing? or some story about something else really terrible and wouldn't it be if you're relaxed with that story, it might happen. So you say, I should tense up around that story too because I don't want that story to be realized. So there are situations like that. And there's other stories like, well, I could consider that story might not be anything more than a story because it doesn't seem that good or that bad.

[51:55]

So if I let go of it and it didn't come true, I guess that would be all right. That's good. I would say that you can be gracious with that one and then extend from that graciousness to spread it to these more difficult cases. Yes? I'm wondering if the idea of a story can be extended to anything that can be named Yeah. Story, name, interpretation, theory, those are all basic cognitive activities. And that's the basic definition of action. And then vocalizations and postures coming from those mental activities are the three types of karma. So basic karma is naming process, storytelling, intention, motivation, interpretation, theory.

[53:04]

Different angles on the reality that our mind is active and creative. And then based on that we speak and posture. So try to, and judgment too. Judgment, people think judgment's like outside the story, but judgment's part of the story. And discrimination, so discrimination, these are all activities of cognition. So cognition basically isn't really an activity, it's just a basic knowing. But it always comes with this creative capacity to name. In order to name, we have to project some sense of substance. And that's a story too. So naming relies on an underlying landing pad of the story. And so what I'm basically saying is be very gentle and tender and loving with no gaining idea around whatever story is occurring in your mind.

[54:13]

Show other people how to do that. And then people will start opening to the light in the most terrible stories. And if one person opens to the light in these stories that a lot of people share, that person can help those people, show those other people how to open to it. Yes? I'm kind of looking at this from a journalist's perspective, because as a journalist I hear stories all the time, and it's my job to tell people stories. It's your job to tell stories. Yes, definitely. And so I guess I'd like to maybe get your advice on... You know, when we're in a situation where we encounter stories that are less fair than other stories, or they're based on a set of inaccuracies or prejudices, and what the balance is between judgment, because we do have to filter through people's stories to see where they're coming from, and also acceptance.

[55:27]

I heard acceptance in what other? In judging. Sometimes we see judgment as kind of like a negative thing, like getting a sense of where people are coming from. Yeah, so sometimes we judge judgment as negative. You know, I read an article not too long ago that the word judgmental, in the present meaning it has, is fairly new. That earlier maybe even around 1950 and before, judgmental did not have this quality of negative. But now we use judgmental, we usually don't use judgmental like thinking somebody's really wonderful. It's become now kind of negative. So anyway, I know a lot of people who are very negatively judging themselves for judging. and particularly they negatively judge themselves for judging others negatively. And I know some, but they don't, they say sometimes, don't negatively judge themselves for judging, when they judge themselves negatively, they aren't usually negative, they're not negative about that, they think that's okay.

[56:45]

Some people. You know, how could I be wrong to judge myself negatively? And some people feel when they judge something positively that there's something wrong with that. But that's a judgment about judgment. So judgment is multifaceted and it's all part of your normal cognitive act. Actually every moment, every moment has a judgment or an evaluation of what you're experiencing as being positive, negative or neutral. It's a feeling. Feeling is actually a judgment. And there's further judgments, but those other judgments are not necessarily occurring every moment, but you always evaluate, your mind always has a feeling, which is an evaluation of whether what you're knowing, whether you experience it positively, negatively, or neutral, pain, pleasure, or neutral. That judgment's always there. And there's further judgments, like good and evil, self and other, right and wrong, accurate and inaccurate.

[57:50]

So that is a normal thing to do. And if you're a journalist, of course, it's very intensely what you're operating with. So you've got all these challenges to be generous with. But again, be generous It isn't generous like from way over far away. It's like come up and be with them and be generous, up close. That's why I say generous and thorough. But sometimes we turn thorough into tight. So thorough but generous. Can that be turned down a little bit? It's kind of echoing. That was a judgment, which I try to be gracious about. Now that's fine for me. Is it fine for you? Can you hear okay? Can you hear in the back? All right. Yeah. So you're in a great seat, a great and challenging profession to apply this practice.

[58:51]

And if you can do it, You know, actually, before I came to Zen Center, I wasn't thinking of coming here and being a priest. I was going to come to Zen Center and train for seven years. I was 23, I was going to train until I was 30, and then I was going to go do something like I thought, if I train myself so that I could be in touch with what was happening, then from that trained mind and sense operation, I could be a better vehicle to convey to people what was going on. But then I didn't leave. But that's what I think our practice is about, is to train our senses, to discipline our senses so that when we sense something, we're gracious with it. And if we're gracious with it, unwholesome states will not arise.

[59:52]

Or if we are not gracious and unwholesome states arise, that we apply that graciousness now to the unwholesome state. So like if you're a journalist and you hear a certain story, and you're not gracious with it, then you may, well, I'm going to fix those people. I'm going to get those bad people over there that I'm not working with, that are opposed to me, you know. And then you're, you know, you're closing, then you tell the story which makes people close to the light and not be, but you can possibly tell a horrible story which you feel should be told. You see it, you think it should be told, and tell it in a way that indicates to people that you're gracious while you're telling this horrible story. And they can feel that, and then they can open to it too. And then they can tell that story to somebody else that they heard.

[60:54]

But they can tell it in a way that conveys aimless loving. So we're conveying the information in the form of a story, but in a different way than somebody who tells it who is tense and suffering and blaming others and so on. There's a way to tell a story where you actually are awake to the fact that you're working together with everybody and everybody supporting you to be the storyteller, which they are. All of you are being supported to be storytellers. to be story observers, you're all supported to do that, and then to tell the story as a way to become more in touch with what your story is. Not to prove it, I mean not to have it be right over other people's stories, but to show up, to help yourself and others let go of the story.

[61:56]

Yes? This concept of identifying stories in yourself or in others, you're talking about graciousness. But it just seems like there's an inherent discrimination of just identifying this as a story. Whether I recognize my own story, there's an inherent discrimination. It comes with some judgment. And I'm just wondering, rather than just being gracious toward that, if there's also just maybe a curiosity about I think curiosity is part of graciousness. Curiosity on the wonder side rather than the grasping side. Curious to try to get it is different than curious like, I wonder what it is. Including that it might be something that I would never be able to grasp. So I've been telling this story, which lately I've been telling this story that is in Zen Mind Beginner's Mind.

[63:01]

And I don't know what chapter it is. You probably know it's this chapter where he's talking about if you want to control a cow. I think he says control a cow. But, you know, his English is really good, but I don't think it's so much about how to control a cow. I think it's about how to help the cow become free and happy. Help the cow to get over being a cow. And he says, the worst thing is to ignore the cow. Next best is to try to control it. You know, put it on a leash, on a rein. But the best way is give it a big field. But, I don't know if he says this, but in giving it a big field isn't that you give it a big field and go in the house and watch TV. You give it a big field and you give it as much attention as you would give it if you were trying to control its every movement. You give it that kind of attention like watch every step it takes.

[64:05]

You really care about this cow. But you're not trying to control it, you're trying to enlighten it or enlighten yourself about it together. And the cow, you change as you look at the cow this way and the cow also feels, they feel your attention and they feel your graciousness. The cow feels that you're actually there and letting it move around and learn for itself in the field. So the cow evolves in that gracious environment, plus you develop your skills at watching the cow you're learning how to watch it steadily and carefully, and graciously will actually make it easier for you to watch. You won't be so tense. And sometimes you tense up, and tensing is better than ignoring, because at least tensing you're paying attention. Trying to control, at least you're looking, okay, I'm trying to control this person, I'm trying to control this person.

[65:08]

That's better than not pay attention. But now that you've got the person or the judgment or the story or whatever in view, start to open up and stay with it, though. Open up. And if you open up and lose track of it, maybe it's better to narrow down a little bit so you're back with it, and then open up. So you're sort of watching the story-making? Watching the story-making. Watching cow-making. Watching cow-making, yeah. And then I'm saying that the basic principle of watching your cognitive activity, your karma, the basic principle is if you don't watch it, the cow will, you know, become more and more unskillful. If you do watch it, the cow will become more and more skillful. But, not only that, but if you watch it generously, you and the cow together will get closer and closer to seeing through the story of the cow and the story, you know, you and the cow will realize the light together.

[66:17]

And between opening up, between going from trying to control yourself and your stories and other people, between that and opening up and seeing the light, there will be moments where the cow will do something and you'll say, I wish I hadn't given it so much space, and you'll start to tighten up again. Okay, that's part of it. But that shows you're paying attention. It's not all that bad. And then you start to feel bad again. Like... This is a long story, but I'm going to tell it. I had a dog once, a wonderful dog. I named her after Julie Christie and Dr. Zhivago. I got her right when I saw that movie. So I named her Lara. So she's this dog, kind of a terrier, golden Labrador mix. And, God, this is a long story.

[67:22]

So I'll tell it fast. So she came into heat. for the first time. I had her from the puppy. She came into heat, and I knew it because of, you know, as they get closer, oh no, she came into heat, and I knew it because she wanted to go outside all the time, and there was lots of dogs outside the door, male dogs making lots of noise. They could smell her in the house. And I didn't want her to go outside because I did not want to have to... I was okay with taking care of her, but I didn't want to take care of lots of puppies. I was trying to control my dog. I was not gracious with my darling little dog. I was not gracious. I was controlling. That's where I was at. And about one time she got out, and they were out there waiting for her. And she was ahead of me, and they were there. She was running down the stairs, and I was trying to catch her. I said, come back.

[68:27]

She didn't want to come back. Come back. She didn't want to come back. I was losing control. And they were waiting, and there was at least two of them. And I thought, well, at least if I can't stop her, I hope she chooses that nice husky. Yeah. you know, rather than this runty little spotted creep. Still trying to control it the last possible, but the little guy was faster. And he just zipped right in there, boom, you know, and he was with her. And that was it, you know, wrong son-in-law. Laughter It was terrible. Very ungracious, very ungracious. But then I said to her, come in the house.

[69:29]

You know, I wanted to stay. Even after he had monitored her, I still thought I had one more chance to get her away from this unacceptable son-in-law. And she obeyed me. And she started to come up the stairs. However, I don't know if you know about dogs, but once they get inside, they have this special mechanism where the end of their organ swells. So once they get in, until they're done, you can't pull them out. So she was coming up the stairs, dragging this little guy up the stairs. laughter [...] This is a story. And I saw that story and I finally woke up a little bit and I thought, okay, I gave up. And they finished their job and she became pregnant. And that's not the whole story.

[70:32]

It's a long story, but I want to tell the next part. Can I? Yes? It was a second floor, kind of an old building, and there was probably twenty or thirty steps. She didn't come all the way up. I mean, as soon as I saw it, I saw how ugly it was. I saw how ugly control is, control of living beings. It's ugly. Sometimes we don't see it, but it's not gracious. It's not appreciative. I wasn't appreciating this biological wonder. I wasn't seeing the light. I was very tense around my story of not wanting to have lots of puppies, particularly that type. But I could see, this is ugly, this is stupid. Give up, accept, and I did. The next phase was she developed, and as she became closer to delivery time, the back end where the baby's going to come starts to open, and, you know,

[71:40]

They don't, you know, stuff starts flowing all over the place in preparation for this delivery. So I wanted to control her again. I wanted her to be in her bed in the kitchen with the linoleum floor where you can clean up, you know. That's where I wanted her to be. I did not want her to be on my bed where she liked to be and getting that red gooey stuff all over my bed. I didn't want it. And so during that phase, I told her to stay in the kitchen or, you know, kitchen and outside. That was where she was going to be. And I didn't see how ugly that was. I thought that was less ugly than the other story of her getting blood all over everything. I wasn't being gracious somehow. Now, you can be gracious and keep your dog in the kitchen, I think, when they're bleeding.

[72:43]

But you can also be ungracious. You can tell the story, I would like to dog in the kitchen, doggy, I want you in the kitchen. You can do that in a loving way and open to the light and maybe stay in the kitchen and maybe that's what happens. It can happen that way. It doesn't mean you have to let the dog up in your bed. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I don't know what happens when the light gets turned on. Actually I do know, you'll see. So, I come home one day and there's my dog up on my bed. Not just on my bed, but on my pillows. My white pillows. And there's blood all over everything. And I say to her, get in the kitchen! And she goes in the kitchen. I was not gracious. I did not see the light. I was cruel to that sweet little dog. And she obeyed me, just like the other time.

[73:45]

She went into the kitchen. Then I go over to clean up. And I see the puppies. And I see what a fool I was to be on this control trip with a living being. And I say, okay, come on. you can be here with your dogs, your puppies." So she gets back in the bed with her puppies. See, we see and we don't see. We try to control, we go blind, and then sometimes the dog wakes us up. oh, oh, that's what life is. That's me and the dogs working together. That's us supporting each other. That's more beautiful than one more day of no dog blood on your pillow. So now I tell you that story.

[74:46]

It's right there. Controlling beings or giving them a big field. Controlling your mind But it's better to control your mind than ignore it. It's better to try to, you know, discipline and, I shouldn't say discipline, because discipline can be loving. It's better to try to control, which is not really discipline. But it's closer to discipline than ignorance. So being aware of what's going on in your mind, even though you're a little bit tense around it, you can still learn from that and then open from there. Say, okay, I got this story, I'm tense. Okay, okay, fine, now, okay. Be generous with that and open to that. I'm tensing again. Okay, okay, okay. Be generous with that and open to that. Yes, Joe? What's discipline? I would use discipline... The dictionary definition, I think, could even include punishment.

[75:51]

To discipline someone for... To punish them, I think, might be one of the meanings of discipline. But the positive side of discipline is the root of the word discipline, which is dociere. Disciple, but dociere means to learn. So a disciple is one who's learning, and discipline is that which is conducive to learning. So we do need to do something, a practice which helps us to learn the teaching, to learn reality. And so part of the discipline of learning the truth is to pay attention to what our mind is doing to obscure the truth. So a discipline of paying attention to our mental activity, our karma, is necessary in order to open to reality. Can you discipline others? I think you can show other people discipline, but Buddha, you know, if Buddha could discipline people, then Buddha would just turn everybody on to practice, and that would be it.

[76:57]

But Buddha doesn't do that. Buddha shows people how to practice. Buddha takes people to where they can see, but they have to do it. Buddha's rooting for it. The teacher's rooting. But the student has to see for themselves. The teacher can't see for you, and the teacher can't make you see. But when you're ready, the teacher can take you to a place where you can see. They can tell you, look at this in this way. Tell me what you see. Okay, now look at it this way. Now look at it this way. Now what do you see? By that kind of feedback thing, gradually... But the person has to do the work. If the teacher says, look, and you don't look, the teacher says, what do you see? I'm not looking. Okay, well, let me know when you're looking. So you can show people where to look and how to look, but they have to do it themselves. The Buddha can can help people when they're ready. So the Buddha, even Shakyamuni Buddha, couldn't enlighten everybody he met.

[78:00]

He enlightened quite a few, which is terrific. Even one would be great. In his first discourse, one was enlightened by the first discourse, and then within a few weeks, five were awakened. But he still met some people who weren't ready, and he didn't try really to teach them, because he could see they didn't want to hear. Or he gave a talk to several people, and one of them was ready and the other people listened, but they weren't really letting it in. They were too caught in their own stories. And he said, you know, even said to those who were caught, he says, some people are too enchanted by their stories, so they won't listen to this. So then it comes to teaching, well, is there some other thing you could say to them which would get them to come? So then he tried other methods. In the Lotus Sutra, for example, some people will not listen to the simple message of the house is on fire. They won't come out with that message. So he tells them another story.

[79:02]

And then they hear that story and they come out. So discipline is what helps people And you can help people be interested to enter into discipline. You can become someone like... I heard stories of people who did skillful things, and I wanted to do those skillful things, and then I heard that they had a discipline, they had a training, and that it was this meditation. So then I wanted to learn the way they got to be able to do the beautiful things they did. So those people encourage me to enter a discipline, but they're not doing it for me. However, they're totally supporting me. I think about them all the time. You know, their example, and I often think, Have I learned what I came to learn? And I sometimes think, well, yeah, I have.

[80:04]

I'm more like those people who inspired me to come than I was 40 years ago. I'm getting closer to them. I'm more like what I wanted to become like, which is basically I'm a little more generous than I used to be towards myself and towards others. I'm a little bit more like gracious to everybody I meet than I used to be. And that's what I came to learn. That I could be gracious with someone who is doing something which they even think is very unskillful. They're involved in a very unskillful story in a very ungracious way. And we can be gracious with them. We can learn to be gracious with them. And if they see that, they can start to be gracious with themselves and become free of that story. I met this guy one time who went to prison and I asked him, when you were doing those things which sent you to prison, could anyone have stopped you from doing that?"

[81:09]

He said, no. Did some people try? He said, yes. Did it have much influence? He said, no, I had to do those things. I knew that I might get in prison for them, but I just had to do them. I said, what would have been helpful to you during that time when you were involved in these activities which sent you to prison? He said, it would have been helpful if somebody loved me. without trying to stop me. If they just didn't love me through all this stupid stuff I was doing that would have been really helpful to me now. So that's what I'd like to learn is how to love myself when I'm doing stupid things and others when they're doing stupid things so that we can become free of our stupidity. Okay? Yes, Cindy and Arlene? What time is it? Twenty-five after. Twenty-five after, okay.

[82:10]

Yes? Well, you know, I am not too much into stopping nightmares. I'm into trying to learn how to be gracious with nightmares. That's what I'm Because stopping a nightmare, generally speaking, doesn't necessarily mean there's not going to be another nightmare. Another story about the psychiatrist. This guy comes to see him and he's got a tick or something. And the psychiatrist hypnotizes him and says, when you wake up, you won't have the tick anymore. And the guy wakes up and he says, how are you doing? He said, the tick's gone. Great. And then the guy starts walking towards the psychiatrist and puts his hands on the psychiatrist's neck and starts squeezing real hard. And the psychiatrist hypnotized him again and gave him his tick back. So I would say generally trying to stop nightmares, I would say generally speaking, the nightmare says,

[83:19]

oh, you don't like this one, don't you? Well, how about this one then? And that was worse. And if you try to stop that, it gives you, until finally you say, okay, you don't have to come up the stairs. Just finish your job. So I'm not telling you what to do with your nightmares, but I wish, I pray that you and I will be will love your nightmares. I don't like your nightmares. I don't hate your nightmares. I mean, I don't want to like or hate your nightmares. I don't want to like or hate my nightmares. I want to love my nightmares. I want to aimlessly, graciously love my nightmares. And then I will become free of my nightmares and so will you. So I'm into becoming free of nightmares, not getting rid of them. Because if you try to get rid of nightmares, they take revenge on you. They get bigger and bigger until finally you realize, oh, this isn't about me controlling nightmares.

[84:21]

This is about respecting every manifestation of life and giving it a big field. The nightmare cow. And the nightmare will turn into light if you treat it with this kind of generosity. And in fact the nightmare already is light, but you can't see it because you're tensing up around your story that it's not light. That's my story. Arlene? Continue the dog story, okay. Well, I guess they are what you call cute. What's the cutest thing in the world besides your own baby? It's a puppy, I guess. They were very cute. Yeah, they were very cute. I have pictures of them.

[85:22]

Not in my wallet, but I have pictures. And then it took a while, but they were all adopted. And that worked out well. And one more story about my dog. I've got several. Maybe I'll tell you the other ones later. Yes, Miriam? My friend was about five years old. He had monkey dreams. They were really nightmares. Monkey dreams, yeah. He was frightened? He was scared to death. Yeah. And so I bought him a big stuffed monkey to sleep with. And he never had another monkey dream. I don't know. Yeah. And when I was a kid, I don't know what, I was afraid of dogs myself. And they sensed it. Even little dogs would come running from long distances and attack me. It was amazing. They could sense my fear and they just hated it and they attacked me.

[86:24]

And then my sister got two baby German Shepherds and brought them into the house. And I grew up with them, and they grew up with me. So then I was living with these very large German shepherds with huge teeth and big muscles. And I wasn't afraid of big, ferocious dogs anymore because I grew up with them. So if you can get there with your stories and be close to them and generous with them and treat them like little puppies, then when they grow up into big, powerful, awesome things, you may be able to be with them. That doesn't mean that they're not dangerous, but you can be with them fearlessly. And you can show other people how to be with them fearlessly. And not fearlessly in fighting, but fearlessly in educating, disciplining, helping to wake up. But sometimes we have to start with a little puppy, which people are sometimes

[87:31]

But even people with puppies, sometimes they get into being ungenerous and unkind and getting angry and mean to the puppy, right? Then the puppy is traumatized. So we are capable of not being generous with puppies. Not to mention with big, powerful beings who are scaring us, who I should say that we're not being generous with, and therefore we're scared. We can be scared of puppies, scared that a puppy is going to chew something up, scared that a puppy is going to shit. Right? We're capable of that. Isn't that wonderful, we can do that? Yes? What's your name? Yes? The fine line between observing and acting? Yes. Uh-huh.

[88:36]

Well, first of all, when you see someone doing something, let's say, and you look at the person and you have a story that they're doing something harmful, okay? the action you're doing at that moment is you're actually acting in the form of telling a story about the person. So whenever anybody, whenever you relate to a person, you almost always will be active with them. Even if you're just standing still with them and not saying anything, your mind will create a story. So you're already acting. You are non-stop active. Always active. but you're not necessarily observing your activity. Everybody's active all the time, but a subset of everybody is aware. So now, you're in a situation like now, you're seeing somebody, you have a story about him, learn to be aware that you're actively interpreting me and everybody else in the room right now.

[89:40]

Then, be generous with that. With that you start to enter into a fearless, generous relationship with your story about what's going on. Then if what's going on turns to be, seems to be, what your story is, it is dangerous or harmful, you can come from that generosity towards this and you can say various things like, please stop. And a person feels from you that it's coming from generosity. You're talking to the cow in the big field and you're saying, cow, come here. You know, cow, whoo-hoo, don't go over there, you'll get hurt or you'll hurt somebody else. But it's coming from this big place and the cow likes to hear this generous voice. And you may be able to contribute to the protection of the cow or whatever, or you may not. But even if you can't stop the unskillfulness, you can still convey this loving regard while you're interacting with the person.

[90:46]

And sometimes you can circumvent the harm. Like another story is this story of this guy who actually lived right here nearby. His name is Terry Dobson. He was an Aikido teacher. And he was in Japan on a trolley. And this big guy got on the trolley and he appeared to be drunk and very aggressive. And he was like threatening all the passengers, you know, going down the... Everybody was afraid of him. And he was sitting at the back of the trolley and he thought, when he gets to me, I'm going to take care of him with my Aikido. So the guy comes back to him. But before the guy gets to him and he fixes that guy's trolley, the trolley stops and a little old man gets on the trolley and sees this big, drunk, violent guy and says to him, Hi, how are you? And the guy burst into tears. He said, my wife just died, he said.

[91:46]

So this guy came on the train, lovingly regarded as big, dangerous human, And from that place he said, how are you? He could have said, be careful, you know, be careful, you might hurt someone, you're a very big guy. You're a big guy, be careful, don't hurt the people. But he didn't say, he said, how are you? And the guy felt that generosity. Not one more person like, oh, you're a big, terrible, you know, caught by the story. That's, you can sometimes snap a person out of it like that. Sometimes you can't. Another story, Japanese story. Are you Japanese by any chance? Yeah, another story. Jigaro Kano, the founder of judo. He's on a boat. And another big guy's storming down the gangway, or not gangway, the deck, and almost knocking people overboard. He's causing so much trouble. And he gets to Jigar O'Connor, who's a small man. And when he runs into him, he pushes him aside. And Jigar O'Connor takes the man, throws him into the air, flips him in the air, and puts him back down on his feet without hurting him.

[92:53]

And the man snaps out of it. You know, love can wake people up. It doesn't always. Even Buddha couldn't wake up everybody that she met. But if you see somebody and you are gracious with them, when they're being naughty, when they're being aggressive, when they're on the verge of hurting someone, if you can regard them in this gracious way, you can sometimes snap them out of it. And even if you can't, they feel it and later they remember, like this guy who went to prison, later they remember that look that you gave them when they were heading towards trouble, that somebody loved them. Sometimes a love can wake the person up right at the time, sometimes it wakes them up years later. But that's what I'm actually recommending, is that we learn how to regard every person we meet, which means every story of every person we meet, with this big field.

[94:02]

And then when the bull becomes dangerous or the cow becomes dangerous, we relate from this big field generosity and that's where we relate from. Not controlling, they still may do unwholesome, unskillful things, but we send this message. And we even eventually open to the light. So you can see that the light's there right at the same time as the person being unskillful. Like Billie Holiday, right? Or Charlie Parker. Very unwholesome activities that they were involved in. And yet they can convey light to people. And people could see the light in them. Because everybody's got it all the time.

[95:03]

The question is how to open to it and help people wake up to it. I feel like I'm being requested to clear the space so they can get ready for a wedding. So is that enough for today? Yes. Okay, thank you very much.

[95:23]

@Transcribed_v005
@Text_v005
@Score_89.3